Chapter 29: Emma
"Give me the details right this second." Ruby demanded when Emma arrived at the auto shop.
"Details for what?" Emma asked, playing dumb.
"You are glowing. I haven't asked about you and Killian in weeks and obviously a lot has changed, so come on, spill." Ruby replied not missing a beat.
"Can we talk about this at lunch?" Emma asked. Ruby was right, aside from her asking about what caused Killian to come to the bar, they hadn't talked about anything I'm ages and Emma knew it wasn't going to be a short conversation.
"Fine. Just kill me with the suspense." Ruby pouted, turning on her computer and picking up a stack of service orders that needed to be invoiced.
Not ten seconds after the clock switched to noon, Ruby was perched on the corner of Emma's small desk staring her down impatiently. "Really?" Emma asked.
"Yes really! You haven't gone on a date since you moved here. You haven't even looked twice at a man and then Killian shows up and you're friends and now I know more has happened and I desperately need to know the details. Besides, aren't I supposed to be telling you if I still think you're an idiot for not dating him?" Ruby argued.
Emma knew Ruby had her there. Not like she particularly wanted Ruby to tell her she was an idiot for taking as long as she did with Killian. She understood now why her friend had pushed it so hard, but her heart and her mind weren't ready and then needed additional time to get on the same page. It didn't take Emma long to realize that in order for the story of what happened between her and Killian to make sense to Ruby, she would need to share the unpleasant tale of her past.
After getting past the initial fear and dread of sharing it with Killian, her heartbreak and loss had lessened. Apparently it is therapeutic to share your feelings Emma thought sarcastically to herself. By no means was she ready to start attending or running support groups, but sharing her experience had definitely helped her.
From the time Emma had first arrived in the small coastal town, Ruby had proven to be an amazing friend. There was no awkward "becoming friends" period when Emma first started at the auto shop. Ruby had simply implanted herself in Emma's life in such a non-intrusive way, Emma didn't even have the chance to put up her walls and stop the friendship from developing. As much as she despised the idea of relying on anyone, she knew Ruby always had her back.
"You are supposed to tell me that." Emma finally answered. "But it's not necessary anymore. I don't think this is going to make any sense to you unless I tell you about my past, about what happened before I came here."
Her friends eyes immediately softened and she nodded waiting for Emma to continue.
"The only other person who knows this is Killian." Emma said, taking a deep breath. She just wanted to state the facts, get it over with and move on to talking about Killian. "I was in a pretty serious relationship when I lived in Texas. I got pregnant but when I was five months along I had a miscarriage which ended up requiring a hysterectomy. Then I found out that my boyfriend was actually a two-timing piece of shit who was married to the doctor who performed my surgery. I moved here barely two months later."
Ruby's mouth opened but no sound came out at first, then it was a flurry of apologies. "Fuck, Emma. I am so sorry. That's like the shittiest string of events to happen to someone and you just packed up and came here? With no one to help you...because of how shitty your childhood was. Fuck. I am so, so sorry. Not like those words even mean anything in comparison…"
"Ruby," Emma interrupted. "You don't have to apologize."
"I know, I just...Jesus, you came here and I just interjected myself in your life and pushed you and oh fuck, I even teased you for not having sex and it's not even like you could at first right? I am such an asshole." Ruby blathered on.
"Ruby."
"No wonder you didn't look twice at any guy. You hated the entire male species and you have every right to. What a piece of fucking scum, your ex. I hope his balls fall off." Ruby continued.
"Ruby." Emma tried again.
"It was June 10th when it all happened right? That's why you take off that day? Fuck I am just so sorry you had to go through that. I just can't even imagine." Ruby went on.
"RUBY!" Emma yelled, finally getting her friend to stop talking. "Yes, you interjected yourself into my life but that's really for the best. You didn't know what was wrong, I could feel normal around you. Well, as normal as possible. No, I couldn't have sex until I'd healed from the surgery but even after I had no interest in being with anyone. And yeah, it was June 10th. Now you know why I don't work that day."
"But all of the things I said…" Ruby looked like she was on the verge of tears.
Emma had managed to tell her story without getting emotional and she was damned if she was going to let it happen now. "You didn't know. Because I didn't tell you. I don't hold any comments about sex or kids or anything against you. I swear I don't. But don't go getting emotional on me. I was a fucking wreck when I told Killian and he's the one who knows what to do when people are crying, not me. Please don't make awkwardly pat your arm and hand you tissues." Emma teased, trying to reassure her friend it was really okay.
Ruby shook her head and took a deep breath. "Okay. No tissues. I'm good, now tell me how all this plays into Killian."
"Promise me first that you're not going to tell anyone. Not even Victor. I don't think I can handle the looks of pity. No one in Texas knew either but I felt like every time someone looked at me they could see what happened. It's part of why I came here. It was new, no one knew me and I could be invisible. And look, I don't really want to ever talk about this again either. Telling you and Killian was enough. I know I'm not "dealing with it properly" and all that shit," Emma said making finger quotes, "but I'm dealing with it in my own way and I don't want anyone interfering."
Ruby held up get her pinkie and wrapped it around Emma's. "Pinkie promise, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye and all that jazz."
Emma couldn't help but smile at at her friend's childish declaration of promise. "So on that day in June Killian sent me care package. It had gossip magazines, nail polish, a stuffed animal, all kinds of stuff. He put a note in there saying that he understood hiding away from the world and it was what he did after his brother had died but he wanted me to know that he and Brinkley were thinking of me. Then late that night he had dinner delivered and the man even sent cucumbers because the help with puffiness."
"Cucumbers? Really? That man is totally a keeper." Ruby interrupted.
"The next time I saw him was for the first karaoke night and you know how drunk we were. He took me home and I kissed him." Emma continued but didn't get far.
"Wait, you kissed in JUNE and I'm just finding out about it now? You're killing me Emma. Back up and give me details." Ruby interrupted.
"Sorry."
"You should be." Ruby fixed her with a mock glare.
"Anyway, this kiss was...I don't know...good. Like the kind of good where you forget your name and to remember to breath. But after I panicked that I was definitely leading him on and ignored him for a week."
"Emmmmmmmmaaaaaaaa" Ruby whined.
"Obviously we got past it! Now shut up and let me finish or I'm not telling you anything else." She threatened, not meaning a word of it.
Ruby rolled her eyes but brought her finger to her lips and pretended to zip them closed, throwing away the imaginary key.
"I realized I was being stupid and he said that I wasn't leading him on, there was obviously chemistry between us and he wasn't going to push for anything neither of us were ready for. So I invited him to watch the fireworks with me and it was really nice then. You know what it's like on the beach for that, the air is just humming with excitement and anticipation...later that night challenged me to another game of skeeball. The shithead won and his prize was for me to have dinner on the boat with him. His boss let him rent one from the marina and yes it was a date." Emma said, answering Ruby's unanswered questions.
Taking a sip of water Emma continued. "We went out into the bay before sunset and he cooked dinner. Scallops over pasta. Oh my god was it delicious. We went back on deck to see the sunset and have dessert. I think that's when he asked if it was a date and I said it was and then we were kissing and more-"
"Kissing and more? What are you thirteen?" Ruby asked, no longer able to keep her silence.
Emma rolled her eyes. "We were heavily making out with the very obvious intention that it was going to lead to sex. He asked if I was sure and I said to just go slow because it had been a while. I've told you before how he can read me; he must have picked up on something and asked what happened. So we went back into the cabin and I told him and he was great about it. And then I felt like an idiot because we had missed the sunset and were now in the middle of the bay in the dark and I had mascara all over my face."
"And he told you that you weren't an idiot at all, likely that you were beautiful and then got you back safely, right?" Ruby finished.
"Pretty much. He even asked if I wanted space and I said no." Emma said.
Ruby clapped her hands in glee. "You know how happy that makes me, right?"
"Yeah, yeah. So the next time I saw him was when you called me from the bar. You know it was the anniversary of his brothers death. So I took him home and gave him water and aspirin and figured I would just leave, but something kept me there. Once he slept off the worst of it we were talking. He told me about his brother and how much he missed him. And I kind of had this realization that I wanted what was happening between us to continue. I wanted to try to help him, to talk about silly stuff, to be there like he had for me. It wasn't the right time to say anything though, so I didn't bring it up for a while. I'm still not okay with labels and definitions, it just feels too...vulnerable? I guess, I don't know."
"Forgive me for my moment of gushing, but I am so happy for you. You deserve this Emma. Killian does too. You guys are really good for each other and I'm just so damn happy you see it now too." Ruby said, beaming from ear to ear.
"Thanks?" Emma replied questioningly, still not comfortable with compliments.
"You're welcome. So when did you tell him?" Ruby asked.
"A couple of days later. I'm not going to lie it was amusing to flirt with him and watch him get all flustered. He came over and made me dinner again and asked me if something had changed between us. I told him it had and my issues with labels and he was okay with it. Yesterday we borrowed a jet ski from the marina and went out into the bay then got caught by that stupid ass storm. We were soaked and went back to his place because it was closer. Was your power out?"
"Yeah for a few hours. His was?" Ruby asked.
"Yeah but we were both covered in salty seawater and rain so I pulled him into the shower with me-"
"You WHAT?!" Ruby blurted out.
"In swimwear!" Emma said defensively but she couldn't keep the smirk off her face.
"Did you seduce the hot Irish guy, blondie?" Ruby teased her. "You did! You were totally wearing the nautical bikini and lured him in like a damn siren! I'm assuming he looks even better without a shirt?"
Emma nodded, feeling her cheeks flush. "He does. But I didn't force him into anything, he was a willing participant!"
"Duh." Ruby rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it was terribly hard for him to ignore the hot blonde in his shower. Then again, he has that whole "I'm a gentleman" routine down. How'd you get past that?"
"Told him I wanted him." Emma replied, blushing harder. She had no idea why she was doing it, logically she knew it was completely reasonable for a woman to tell a man she wanted him sexually, but she still couldn't say it without blushing.
"You initiated?! Damn. Was it what you expected?" Ruby asked.
"Better." Emma answered honestly. "The chemistry between us is insane."
Ruby laughed. "Glad you finally picked up on that as well. There were times I was seriously concerned with getting shocked the sparks radiate so hard between you two."
"Shut up. It is not like that."
"Uh, yes it is. Now brace yourself blondie, I'm about to hug you." Ruby warned, hopping off the desk.
The words had barely registered in her mind before she was engulfed by Ruby.
"This is for everything. For what you went through, for being my friend, for dealing with me, for taking a chance on Killian, for letting yourself be happy." Ruby said squeezing her.
"Thanks?" Emma said confused.
Ruby pulled back and looked at her. "Sorry. Crossed the emotional line. Can we go out and get drinks tonight and celebrate your happiness?"
"Killian is playing at the Cork Screw in Dewey. I told him I'd stop by…" Emma trailed off, wondering if inviting her friend was the right thing to do. She knew Killian wouldn't care, but she didn't know if including Ruby in something she already had planned was a bad friend move. She didn't have close friends when she lived in Texas and didn't know the 'rules' of mixing friends and boyfriends.
"Yes I'll come with you listen to your hot boyfriend sing. Wait, can I call him your boyfriend?" Ruby asked.
"Can you just call him Killian instead? I know it's stupid, but I'm just not ready for the labels yet." Emma asked, feeling foolish.
"It's not stupid, Emma. I cannot believe how much you've kept from me. I mean, I get it, but damn girl, don't like go elope and tell me after." Ruby chastised.
Emma felt her eyes widen. Marriage? Her brain asked. It took a few seconds before all of the synapses in her brain connected the dots. Right, dating (when you can get around to calling it that) can lead to marriage.
"Sorry. I clearly freaked you out there. You don't have to marry him. Or anyone. He might not even want to get married. Like ever, not just to you I mean. Fuck, I'm fucking this all up. See what happens when you give me awesome news overload?" Ruby said frowning.
"No, it's fine." Emma assured her. "It just threw me for a second. I just never thought that far into the future or about anything that permanent. But I'll just stick with becoming okay with relationship terms for now, okay?"
Now that the idea has been implanted into her brain she couldn't help but think about it, which startled her. As a child she didn't dream of a pretty princess wedding. Her Barbie and Ken dolls (before they were destroyed by her cousins) never got married. She never had a relationship where she dreamed of the future. It was part of the reason she was so terrified when she found out she was pregnant. It meant a permanent change in her life. She couldn't just up and run with a kid or even a husband.
"Do you want to grab dinner before we go? What time does he play?" Ruby asked pulling Enma out of her thoughts.
"Yeah let's grab a burger or something first. He goes on at nine. I'll drive." Emma replied not really giving Ruby a choice. Public parking was extremely limited in Dewey and her tiny bug could squeeze into more spaces that Ruby's larger car.
"Fine. But I'm coming over afterwards leave here and dressing you for tonight. Let's see if we can make him drool over you." Ruby said excitedly.
-/-
Emma sat on the closed toilet seat as Ruby did her make up. She felt layer after layer of eyeshadow being applied to her eyes and was beginning to wonder exactly what Ruby was making her look like, when she switched to mascara before telling Emma she could open her eyes again. An application of bronzer and blush, followed by a swipe of gloss and emma was finally able to see what she looked like. Standing up and glancing into the mirror, her eyes widened at the reflection staring back at her. Ruby had done a super dark smoky eye and minimal make up on the rest of her face. Despite the dark shadow, her eyes looked brighter and greener. "I like it." She told Ruby who simply nodded and gestured for Emma to sit back down.
A few dangerously close encounters with the curling wand and a haze of hairspray later, Emma was allowed to see Ruby's creation; Ruby had teased her roots, giving her volume at the top of her head which turned into loose, messy curls.
"I know it's not your thing, but what about this top?" Ruby asked, holding up what could barely be considered enough fabric for clothing. It was similar to the dress she showed Killian on the boardwalk, with the back consisting of only a few strands of fabric.
"With what else?" Emma asked warily.
"Skinny jeans and heels. With your hair down it will cover most of the open back but it still screams sexy and should be more than enough to have your blue eyed man stumbling over his words." Ruby said with a grin.
"Well, I don't want that, but yeah I'll wear the top. If you can call it that...am I supposed to wear a bra with it?" Emma asked, taking the garment and holding it up.
Ruby frowned before heading over to Emma dresser and pulling out a hot pink lace bra. "Try it on with this."
Emma did as instructed, slipping on the skinny jeans and metallic heels as well. She couldn't see the full outfit in her bathroom mirror but it looked pretty good to her. The scoop neck of the top hung long enough that hints of the pink lace peeked over the top if she leaned forward. She exited the bathroom and did a slow spin for Ruby's approval.
"Yes. You look amazing. You just need this." Ruby replied, lifting a long pendant necklace over Emma's head. "Oh and this." She grabbed a green cardigan from Emma's closet. "For dinner." She explained.
They arrived at the bar where Killian was playing nearly a half hour before he was set to go on stage. It was crowded, but Ruby managed to snag them two seats with a direct line of vision to the stage. Drinks ordered, Emma pulled out her phone and sent a text to Killian that she was there with Ruby. He responded immediately, telling her he was waiting backstage to go on but couldn't wait to see her. Emma couldn't help but smirk, wondering what he would think of her outfit. She had to admit, it was a bit fun getting dolled up like this when she had Ruby with her and knew she didn't have to lie about being with someone to fend off any drunken suitors that might approach them.
It wasn't long before Killian came out on the stage, casually sliding onto the barstool and pulling his guitar over his lap. Emma watched as his eyes scanned the crowd looking for her and the smile that lit up his face when he found her. He introduced himself to the crowd, asking how they were tonight and Emma watched in amusement as many women turned to look at the stage, curious to see who the owner of the accented voice was that came out more pronounced over the microphone.
He started off with Journey's Don't Stop Believin', the crowded bar immediately singing along to the popular tune. Killian effortly switched between the 80's and 90's; Duran Duran flowing effortlessly into Matchbox 20. R.E.M. followed Hootie and the Blowfish, Bryan Adams led into the Goo Goo Dolls. The crowd cheered louder with each song. Throughout the set his eyes kept coming to land on hers and it didn't take long for others in the crowd to realize that. A group of women who had been in front near the stage, followed the direction of his gaze a few times before giving up their attempts to get Killian's attention. With a shrug they headed back toward the bar, one shooting a thumbs up to Emma.
Killian's set came to an end and Emma knew he would be joining them shortly. Her back was turned towards the stage when she sensed he was approaching. She could practically feel the heat from his stare as he took in the strands of fabric creating a back to the shirt. Her skin tingled in anticipation, goosebumps covering her flesh as she felt his fingers rest possessively against the small of her back.
Emma turned to face him slowly, the praise of his singing dying on her lips as she registered the navy blue shade his eyes had become. He looked as if he wanted to devour her whole. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, Emma's eyes following the movement. While he might not have been actually drooling, Emma decided Ruby had accomplished exactly what she had planned for the evening.
He stepped closer, his other hand coming to rest on her hip as his lips brushed against the shell of her ear. "Bloody hell Emma. That scrap of fabric shows more than it covers."
His words reminded her of something Walsh had once said, a complaint about a dress being too revealing and she realized she has began dressing more conservatively after that. While the words may have been similar, the tone couldn't possibly be more different. Walsh had been condescending and rude. Killian, on the other hand, his voice rough and low and appreciative had made a compliment.
"Too much?" She asked, confirming it didn't upset him. Not like it had any right to, but she wanted to know all the same.
"No. It just makes you more irresistible than usual. And leads to some very ungentlemanly thoughts." He replied, ducking his head a tiny bit to nip at the spot behind her ear.
"Care to fill me in on those?" She asked, automatically tilting her head to give him better access.
His scruff brushed against the sensitive skin on her neck. "I'd prefer to show you." He rasped.
"Later?" Emma asked and Killian nodded.
"Why aren't you famous?" Ruby asked causing Killian to laugh.
"I'm not interested in it. You lose your privacy, any semblance of a normal life." Killian responded. "But thank you for the vote of confidence."
As further proof, throughout the night random people came up to them and told Killian how good he was. Emma grinned with pride, equally amused that with each person that came up, Killian began to look more and more bashful.
This was another one of my favorite chapters to write. I hope you enjoy it!
