*=Not A Bed Of Roses=*


The windswept maiden was seated on her veranda, gazing out at the sea like a wife who waited eagerly night after night and day after day for her husband to return from the war. Dead or alive, be it anything just long as it was a part of him coming home. Preparing herself for the worst like many others.

But at least this woman by the sea did not have that fear. Her only dread was time alone.

When would he come? Though he was not her husband either, the concern was there.

As the nights passed on, the image of his elegant nature, clad beautifully all in white haori and the contrasting shihakusho became more vibrant, burning strongly into her mind's eye. She had never had the luxury to imagine an aristocrat prince, and it appeared that she never even needed to. She was not taught or told fairy-tales as her bed-time stories, yet it turned out that she was living inside one of them. It was there and then she had developed her artistic talents. Drawing things that were not real.

Rukia stared at her hands before resuming her vigil again.

What was this strange spark of happiness she felt that painted itself into a smile on her barren lips just at the mere thought of this person? This smile, which so uncharacteristically adorned her pale face, did not belong there, for it was more than she could bear. More than she should bear. It was not normal.

But it was there for one person. For the one who had granted her the way to a life unimagined, ennobled her and all the while forged the vessel of her mind with the intricacies that came with the honour of being a Kuchiki. The one who held the key of her fairy-tale cage. Did she want it back?

No, said a voice she did not know was ever there.

She liked her role of being a captive, was that it? Or could it be that it was the captor himself? Suddenly too charming, like a long forgotten artifact which was brought under daylight for the very first time, and the dust was finally blown away for the beauty to be beheld. What devil had cast its spell upon her?

It was not like her to act this way.

For someone from the worst corners of Rukongai to experience such joy was unnatural. No matter how Kuchiki-like she could be, deep down she would never be one of them, nor did she wish it so. At that time, Rukia was not even aware why she had accepted his offer. Though Hisana Kuchiki's connection to the leader and this commoner may do little to solidify their forbidden tie across the ladder of social status, she was still an outsider. Surely her sister had felt the same.

Could it be that their love for each other had outshone everything?

Rukia felt something strike her inside. She felt left out.

Violet eyes glistened.

Unacceptable.

Closing her eyes to take control, she inhaled deeply, trying to bury it underneath. This was not the first time the very same debate rang her conscience. Those thin eyebrows furrowed momentarily before resuming their neat appearance followed by her lips forming a hard line.

She could deal with the feelings of self-condemnation that had surged across her heart in the corner of that tall white tower away from the sight of any souls, or even during decades of isolation that she felt as a novice noble. But feigning this was stuffing an overloaded dam of concealed emotions into a vessel the size of a thimble, and she had no other place to hide them in. She wanted no more of her tears being born.

A bitter smile formed. Even denial itself couldn't conceal the fact that… around him, she felt like a Kuchiki, through and through.

A soft breeze now marred her vacant features. The wind had started to pick up apace, all the while wielding a frosty edge to its touch, causing her to recoil underneath her tightly-wrapped haori. Rukia gathered the tiny blanket around her. Resting her shoulder against the wooden pillar, she gazed ahead in the silence that had assumed a solid appearance from the biting chilliness of the night wind.

The sea was as restless as ever. Anyone planning to dive into its daunting appearance was head-on running for suicide.

There had been such an incident last winter, actually. She had never known how to swim exactly; no need, when she could float so effortlessly above gathered reishi. Even had she been present there was no chance she might have saved that lonely human.

But would she yet have tried?

Rukia still could not see the logic in Byakuya's special indifference towards all humans. Just the mere thought of it caused a shiver to run down her spine. As the wind swept past her, she let it out with a small shudder. She could not help but host idle thoughts seeing how there was hardly anything to occupy her mind at times such as now.

After gazing seaward for a while longer, the hopeful watcher decided that he was not coming today. It had been four days since the last time she had heard him on the phone. But it seemed that the likely timeframe of him appearing was probably over at sunset. There was little chance that he would arrive at such an ungodly hour. Since he had gone out of his way to change his attire last time only to eat dinner, the same rules of etiquette for entering a guest's house would apply.

You do not knock at their door during inconvenient hours. Therefore, he was not coming tonight.

Rukia stood up, wobbling a little. Her leg had gone numb from the cold that was seeping through the floor planks. She could see the surroundings more, and scanning the area as well as the bottom of the cliff, she saw no sight of a white figure.

He was definitely not coming.

Just like all those nights she turned around and with a heavy heart picked up the fallen blanket from the ground. The wind sang strangely.

"Rukia."

What good fortune.

She was about to take a step, but her risen foot halted and meekly descended onto the cold steel surface of the deck.

He knew the worst possible hour of day to arrive. Absolutely infuriating.

With an unexplained yet suppressed anger, violet eyes looked over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of Byakuya in his haori. Any affronted rage died down instantly with a stir in her heart. It was guilt she felt that prevented her from lashing out at him even in her mind. Rukia doubted Hisana to have ever shown any emotion that skirted even the border of negativity. When she resembled her so strongly, how could she ever show him anger?

What vile logic. But the truth of it all was that she never wanted to show herself in any way that he would not appreciate.

Her brows drew down slightly over her eyes before they widened at the sight of his empty neck. She could not dwell on this thought much longer as more of that voice jingled into her ears.

"I was unaware of your nightly habits." I was unaware what joy awaited me.

He was here.

It was no coincidence because she had been waiting for days, during nights and in her dreams, to greet him without a moment's delay when he arrived. The fire of his image that was constructed on the slate of her mind should have extinguished at his presence, but it served to only fuel it further. Even the icy wind did not serve to quench it.

He turned his attention completely towards her now. "What has kept you awake at such an unusual hour?" You are not alone anymore. Though for him, day and night, all has become one.

She could see his dark eyes weighing onto her under the encroaching presence of the night.

"The moon, of course." You.

Most aristocratic males found value in natural items:cherry blossom petals, the moon, even the night itself. She definitely knew he was fond of a moonlit night. More than one person had caught him absorbed in the sight.

So had she.

The young devotee saw him crease his eyebrows only by a slight twitch. He stared at her blankly for a second. "There is no moon tonight." There is nothing more worthy.

He said it even without looking upwards. Violet eyes instantly looked above to prove him wrong, only to find...

"You had to look to confirm, which tells me that your eyes were somewhere else. You have been troubled just as I had predicted." I can be ignorant, but have chosen not to be.

Flustered, Rukia was in a bout of hems and haws, such that all she could do was look at him wordlessly.

"I asked you to let rest the matter." Trust was all I asked.

She saw him silently approach in her direction. Almost in a panic, her heart began to pulsate. Was he disappointed with her? She stood motionless, staring into the ground before him.

"Rukia?" Trust me.

His voice was louder this time, only slightly. It could be due to him being closer. The young woman raised her vision by a needle, signaling her attention, and noticed that the view of the night scene before her was almost blocked by his form. Her mind screamed 'too close' and she felt as though she was suffocating.

It was only him. The person she had known nearly half her life. Nothing new there.

It was the same as ever. Kuchiki Byakuya, leading his unmatched powerful clan, while appearing so remote even when he was so close to her. He was no different than the sea, and if she tried to understand any little bit of meaning that lurked in the abyss of those grey eyes and especially his off-limit soul, she might die. From frustration or just trespassing where she should not go. The very same one she felt at his death.

Whoever thanked their killer? So much for leaving behind a heart!

Yes, she was bitter when it should have been happiness dancing in her mouth. For all it was worth she could not smile. There were far too many new things inside her.

Too foreign, too invasive. Some were even rotting. Clutching the blanket that was resting over her arm, she brought her eyes towards his face.

He was still looking.

Rukia dropped her gaze straight away in submission. "Nii-sama." Where do I begin?

She saw his cloak flutter in the wind, almost brushing her shivering form. The direction was changing every now and then. His billowing silhouette caused her to feel even smaller in front of that authoritative figure.

"Hn," he said. I will listen until you finish.

Something was trying to erupt from her mind. A truth. Something Rukia knew held the key but she could not figure it out.

Gosh! This was probably the most silent conversation they'd had in… quite a while.

"I was waiting for you." I was worried that I might never see you again.

She blurted it out without even thinking. A blush came creeping onto her features.

Noble eyes widened before assuming their usual appearance, but of course she did not notice. Now, it was not due to her words but rather the demure fashion in which she had said them. Something about it played around with his senses. It bothered him. In a positive or negative way? Byakuya did not know, though he felt a slight jolt of fear entering his insides.

"As I should," she amended, looking up with a firm expression. Really?

Her change in features served to further distress him. It was almost as if a conflict was brewing within her. Or was it inside him? He was surely imagining things now.

Byakuya now had a good look at her eyes. They were smeared with dark bags underneath them. Needless to say she had not been sleeping for the past few days. Neither had he, but that was beside the point.

"Why should you?" You surprise me. He found himself asking without thinking. Byakuya had been asking a lot of things lately. The law was there but why should he follow it? Because he was meant to?

As I should.

The food was there, but why did it taste different when it had the touch of her hand? Because it was meant to?

As they should.

It was same room, be it in his division barrack or his mansion, with the same one-person futon, but why was it suddenly so empty beside him? Because it was meant to?

As it should.

He was the very same man, widowed fifty-five years ago, but why did he feel disorientated after recovering from his loss? Was he still mourning?

As things should.

This golden rule of thumb that she spoke so earnestly towards him made no sense when applied to his side of things. But his thoughts drifted as his eyes settled once more over hers which for some reason justcould not seem to meet his own.

Why should she mar her features by staying up? It was a waste of effort and it made no sense. Anything without logic was useless to him. For some odd reason, he wanted Rukia to answer everything.

"Because you are my Nii-sama." I choose to and I will. And so much more that it left her speechless.

The only person to have called him that. 'Nii-sama' meant she looked up to him for guidance.

Though the Kuchiki leader was mentally pulling out his hair, he stood unaffected. "Was I not before?" Enlighten me.

The wind whistled by them, dancing as it stole her answer in their gasp. Mocking.

Why, indeed. Even she did not know the answer to that, actually.

"It is different now," she said miserably. There was distance.

Had she just avoided his question and directed everything to a route he had not expected? Now he wondered if she had had that art of subtle manipulation all along within her.

Grey eyes appeared from underneath his brow. "What is?"

"Everything."

She said it with such conviction. Yet he saw nothing. He was blind as the night that encircled them, and hoped for the sun to rise soon and for birds to sing with an answer.

"It is cold outside. Let us go in." Rukia turned around to enter the house, and a moment later he followed.

Empty-handed.

Something was bothering him a great deal.


Noise.

A forceful tug.

"What's…?" Byakuya flung open his eyes instantly and sat up. He looked down to see Miki still holding onto the sleeve of his Gigai.

He was attired in his traditional yukata. For a moment there, the idea came to him that Rukia was in trouble. But come to think of it, the only time when he ever saw her as he woke up was in times ofrecuperation.

The fog of her presence seemed to linger before him momentarily, and disappeared in a blink. However, his eyes failed to go back to their stoic appearance.

"Papa." Miki tugged.

A gentle tug.

Like that would win him over. It became more forceful. He had clearly underestimated the force of stubbornness.

A mountain. He was falling off its peak.

"Byakuya-sama." Soft and sweet. He was falling towards it...

It was Hisana.

"What's the matter, Hisana?" he asked groggily while his eyes slowly opened. He had not been that lethargic in a while. His hand went for his forehead. It felt as though someone had slaughtered him in his sleep leaving only his neck up alive and well.

He turned to see her right beside him in seiza. She was already dressed for the day as the Lady Kuchiki should be, but it was never over-exaggerated on her part.

Always simple, yet elegant. She never danced on the money like any other woman would have done in her place. Just the way she had been since the very first glance but he admired her even more now.And yet it would be nice if, once in a while, she adorned herself in one of those lavish garments for his sake. Because his wealth was for her only. Normally, he would not demand anything other than respect and obedience from others, because that would make him seem dependant. And that showed weakness as a noble figure.

But when it came down to her, every rule seemed senseless.

He never forgot that she had other things weighing down her mind which for some reason seemed more personal than what they had together. He had loved her and always would; she had returned all of it, too, giving him the right to be concerned and impose. He would understand if it was a one-sided affair, yet he never pushed for his share because he feared he might not actually comprehend it at all.

He was happy just to be there if a time came for her to reach out to him.

It had been five years since he became her husband and eight years since the first time he had met her. Well, it was his grandfather who found her first in the wedding of Megata Kuchiki, daughter of one of the fellow houses. Kuchiki Ginrei pulled him out of a conversation that he was playing hardly any part in. His grandfather soon came to a halt, as did the grandson.

"Listen to it, Byakuya." He turned his attention towards where his grandfather was looking, to find a lady who was dressed in a plain white yukata with a dun-coloured haori. Her hair was not done up like all the other ladies present. A strand carelessly rested atop her forehead.

Nothing attractive.

"The substitute Koto player," Byakuya stated plainly while slightly wondering about his grandfather's interest. The tune echoed off those silky strings like all the others; it was nothing special.

"She is playing for food." Ah, so that was it. Usually it was the money. Now he understood her chaotic appearance. She seemed very malnourished. He could not pity her. Well, he did not feel anything, so he just stood as he was commanded by his grandfather.

He would have asked for leave to withdraw were it not that right then, what was meant to be melodious in such a gathering turned into melancholy so smoothly that he could not catch onto the transition.

People started to turn their heads in her direction in annoyance and soon a few gasps of horror followed. Her pale fingers were bleeding to the tune that was singing deep within her heart and not a wince came from her form. Nobles were not quite used to seeing blood unless they were part of Gotei.

Were her fingers already cut before playing? But her concentration never faltered, nor did the chain of that strange melody. Unique would be the word here. Never had he seen a Koto composer this connected with her piece, to the extent they were getting injured like that. Before he could call it pathetic, he felt he was being washed by her blood as the sad tune from those strings resonated in his ears. He was forced to admit that it was, in fact, a masterpiece by its own merit.

"Impossible," remarked a few of the attendants. No one wanted the blood of a commoner tainting the grounds of the Court of Pure Souls.

The tune dropped with a 'ting' sound. She looked up, apologetic. What saddened eyes! That was the first time he had actually seen pure grief, which radiated from her as more than just animpression; he found his eyes to be lost in the waves of those violet seas. Those sapphire gems could not belong to her, because he wanted them.

In response, surprise and curiosity bled from his pride. It was the first time anyone had ever caused that to him, and a woman no less. Her sadness was not the sort that attracted pity, but a rarity that struck wonder in everybody present, regardless of whether they wanted it to or not. Nothing could escape it once tangled within its territory.

No, it was just her playing, he argued. Kuchiki Byakuya was not weak, certainly not indebted to anything. Since he was not, there was nothing in existence that was worthwhile.

He was a man free of emotions and attachments. He was without need.

But he had also made sure to not let her slip away. Soon enough he had granted her permission to take the place of musician in his house. After all, the Kuchiki always had the very best. If food was all she required, he could give it quite easily. At first, it was her tunes that drew him, but soon even their owner seemed to have become the centre of his very being. He still had not thanked that nameless soul reaper who had found her playing just outside of Seireitei, in the first district of the Western Rukongai.

It was the first time he learnt that every rule was senseless beside her. And so one dusk, he got up from his honourable seat and sat in seiza before her. She was too lost in her art to notice him until her tunes stopped without her permission.

She had always been quiet unless she was playing. Delicate and mysterious. Grateful.

Too many of his favourite traits.

And sad. He frowned at the thought.

Byakuya removed his fingers from the bundle of strings, sending a haphazard collection of sounds to roll off their surface, and proceeded to take both of her hands into his. Like a gift.

He gazed at the player directly as the cold touch of her hands seeped into his.

"Kuchiki-sama, has my playing displeased you?"

She was worried. He gave a smile in response, causing her eyes to widen.

That smile did not belong there, she thought. Nor did the tender voice that was about to shock her into a trance of reality.

"You grant me the greatest enchantment with your art."

"Thank you. You have been very kind to me." She wondered if he had found someone better and perhaps, that was his way of bidding farewell. Even that could not sit well with her.

He was still enclosing her hands. "But it would do me far greater honour if you would bring your tune to my life from now on, for I find myself to be sinking constantly into their very melody."

The lady remained speechless, only partially out of confusion.

The Kuchiki prince looked at her with slight accusation. "It is not just your music alone, my dear Hisana."

He was in love for the very first time, and anything that was for the first time was not something to let slip by. Just as he could not see what hid within her heart, he could not spot the clear attraction that he had felt towards her since the beginning. Byakuya marveled at his discovery.

Violet eyes widened even more if that was possible at hearing her name on his lips for the very first time. She looked away in embarrassment.

"Will you not bring me to the shore?" Byakuya asked silently, causing her to draw her hands back to herself.

"Our shores are quite different, Kuchiki-sama. Like the sky and the earth. Though they seem to meet at the horizon, they never do." Her eyes looked away from him and rested on the surface of her instrument.

"They never turn away from each other, though, so perhaps one day they may overcome it." He was slightly hurt from her earlier action.

"Impossible," Hisana remarked helplessly.

"Would you rather I did it alone?"

By himself? Was he that confident? The woman shook her head timidly this time. "But how?" Was it even possible for a noble to genuinely love a woman of her status?

She heard a soft sigh escape him. "Perhaps, the first step would be by calling my name and sharing the sadness that you carry."

Hisana looked up at him in astonishment. She certainly had one stubborn man in love with her to deal with.

"I could try, Byakuya-sama," she said, sending a nod in his direction.

To her surprise, that movement ended with her mouth caught against his lips. The gesture caused tears to roll down her cheek.

Affection.

Within the same year he would have married this woman, who perhaps played a more joyous tune in her previous life, if it was not for all the formalities, not to mention convincing the house. Even Hisana seemed reluctant after keeping his simple request; well, he could not blame her. His social standing might have proved to be daunting. In the end, he had wasted his time because, well, he listened to no one who dared to object.

Now that felt like something to be proud of.

Byakuya's eyes blinked open. This day Hisana was now looking at him in a puzzled way, seeing the edges of his mouth to turn slightly upwards. She was his peace and that was more than he could ask for. No, more than it was possible.

"There you go again." Sending a nudge to his shoulder, his wife gave him a look of harmless pity. "You got so carried away with your training at dawn that you must have fallen asleep from exhaustion. I am afraid your men await you, Captain, and therefore I must commit the crime of breaking your sleep." He saw her shifting to gather his uniform from the closet.

"I have committed no worse and more worthwhile crime than you, Hisana," he said in a daze.

"That you have," she replied demurely.

The sight was so peaceful. He found himself drifting off to slumber. Eyes shut once more.

"The sun is well up now," Hisana warned him without even looking back.

That got him on his feet straight away. "I will deal with you when I return, Kuchiki Hisana." She was cruel to do this to him.

And that was the last time she ever woke him up. After that it was him by her side.

She had finally committed a crime in truth by dying, but she had reached out to him in her last words. He had kept her words after paying a small price. From then on, he just let things come to him rather than rushing after it. And so, when Rukia's execution order came, he was waiting on a miracle.

"Wake up!"

Miki shook him. He was not sleepy, then why…?

He noticed that the human girl was wearing what seemed like a uniform and boasting a wide smile in his direction.

"Hn?"

Then he realised.

"Ladyma wanted to leave you behind. So, please don't tell her that I woke you up."

"Why?" he asked, confused.

"We are leaving for school. If you don't get ready, you will be left behind. Hurry before she comes!" Byakuya looked around to see his curtains were already drawn aside.

"Uff- hurry! I have to go and have breakfast." Miki left him with a stern look.


"Nii-sama!" Rukia was about to sit down by the tea table.

He entered the room and looked at her in a way that could not be easily interpreted. "Wear the kimono that I have given you."

She was surprised that he would suggest it, least of all actually care. "No one wears them at school."

It bothered him that the clothing of the living world was so revealing. For a man, even he was more dressed up than most women. He had never felt comfortable with other men staring at Hisana without her knowledge. There were some things that were only meant for one other person. And what became his was his alone.

Of course he knew Rukia was not Hisana. Though he was a man himself, he could not deny the fact that most of that species were like animals.

Kurosaki Ichigo for one.

What Rukia was wearing was not all that revealing, but he could tell even without directly looking that a good amount of her legs were on display. Not that he was the one to look. Though he was her 'Nii-sama', he was not sure if he had the same right as her blood kin or her husband would have in asking her to cover herself. He was only trying to protect her. It did not help the fact that it kept taking him back to Hisana.

Could he? No, he could not.

"I see." He went to pick up his food.

Rukia sat down her bag and rushed from the room. "I need to collect something."

Soon the clattering of wooden chopsticks stopped and Byakuya wondered where she was. He and Miki waited at the table for a while before he got up to investigate. Was she having trouble finding something important, perhaps?

"Had Rukia eaten yet?"

Miki shook her head. "Ladyma!" she yelled, turning her head in the direction that she had left.

Byakuya picked up her bag and exited. It would save time if he took it to her instead. Miki's door was wide ajar, which meant she was in her room. Come to think of it, he did see a mass of paper there before.

He slid open the door swiftly, only to stop.

"Mik..." She squeaked and turned around, causing him to jerk back. What was that sound?

But he was even more surprised to see what rested on her form. The kimono that he had asked her to wear, but something was wrong with it. "Have you never worn a furisode before?" He had seen her in plain yukata most of the time.

Rukia nodded. Ah, that was why all those layers were sticking out at the bottom.

"You may switch back to your previous clothes." He began to leave.

"I am done, Nii-sama. Well, you see, um... it will take time."

He forgot. It was a woman's kimono. Of course, it would have a thousand knots, layers and complexities just like a woman herself. He could not even leave Hisana out of that equation.

Now that he thought about it, he had never dressed Hisana up. He only had to do the easier part, untying it. Now that was the forbidden option in the current situation. He only ever saw his bride wear a sophisticated kimono once in their marriage and that was her wedding gown. Normally the maids helped in any formal dressing.

Well, if a servant could do it, surely he would perform better.

"What seems to be the problem?" Byakuya found himself asking.

"Just the obi," she replied hesitantly.

Was she joking? There was everything wrong with the way she wore it. He lent his words of wisdom. "It looks very untidy, Rukia."

She looked down to see what he had meant. If she looked this disorganized from behind, the front probably appeared as though a storm had just passed by her. She felt like a bundle of dirty laundry.

"It doesn't matter. I have a friend at school, she will fix it for me."

Should he call Miki instead? That girl would make too much of a deal over a simple matter as tying an obi. "Give me the ends."

He carefully received it making sure their hands never touched. She had already wrapped herself around, it was just a matter of tying and needed to be tight enough to keep the already disheveled layers in one place.

Rukia feared she was being swallowed up alive. The fact that he was so silent did not help. She could not tell what he was thinking. On top of that, it was embarrassing having her obi done by a man. What must he be thinking, honestly? She gulped and fought the flustered feeling. But her heart was hardly listening to her orders.

Behind her, the feared captain of the Gotei 13 stood in perplexion. The bow at the back was important, he knew that much. He looked down at the one he had on his. If he did it like that, the ends would windup on the ground.

If Hisana was going to hand over her sister to his care, she should have left more words of guidance.

"Wrap it around you once more."

Rukia was already feeling heavy across her stomach. "Ok." She did as she was told. "Here."

Now it should be simple, but he could not ignore the nervous feeling. Quickly tying a knot, Byakuya made two perfect bows and swiftly tied them together in place. He checked to see it was tight enough. That should do for now. He could not believe he was a part of this mortifying task. It certainly was laughable. Clearly she was very uncomfortable underneath it.

Too bad he could not flash-step them to school.

"Thank you, Nii-sama." She looked over her shoulder, briefly meeting his eyes, before they darted away. It was awkward and too probing to remain that way for very long.

"We shall be outside." He turned around without any delay and left.

The three of them set off without further misadventures. Soon they were walking over a bridge. Of a sudden Byakuya handed Rukia something from his sleeve. Marry a man who made good use of his pockets, it's helpful. One of Hisana's favorite sayings. He certainly could live up to that.

Rukia looked at him puzzled. This was Tamagoyaki, a rolled omelet, from morning.

"Eat as we walk." Byakuya had saved some from his breakfast.

"Thank you." She blushed even redder than she did when he was right behind her tying a knot. It had felt like a constricted ring over her heart which made her feel as though every beat would explode out of her chest.


After seeing his ladies off to their respective school days, Kuchuki Byakuya did not have much to do except take a walk around the town. The experience allowed him more time to think than he really wanted right now.

"Look, look!"

"Hn?" Breaking off from his deliberations, he found two young women looking in his direction. They appeared to be eyeing him with some intensity. Was there a problem? He was in his gigai, surely they could not tell he was not a human.

Just as he made eye contact, one of them shrieked. "He is hot."

The captain did not like the way her eyes twinkled. Was she planning to duel him?

"Damn right, girlfriend."

Wait.

He was not hot. The temperature was quite fine for an autumn day. If they were concerned (which he thought unlikely), then why did their eyes gleam in such a shameful manner?

Ill at ease, the shinigami lord turned around wordlessly and left them behind. He walked some distance but could not ignore the steps that echoed behind him. It was somewhat unnerving.

"You play hard to get, huh? Just my type! I am through with all those perverts." Well, what did he know, they were following him.

Byakuya stopped suddenly, feeling his wrath building. "Woman."

"He just spoke!" Both girls screamed and hugged one another. They made him seem like some sort of foreign creature (which he was, to some extent).

"What business might you have with me?" he said, slightly turning around to regard them out of one eye.

The women began to stutter. He was not playing hard to get, he actually seemed… hard to get. "Do you h-h-have a girlfriend?"

His eyebrows creased. "I do not waste my time on friendships."

What exactly was friendship anyway? Probably what Abarai had with those that case, he had none. As for girl friends, noblemen of his age did not have female 'friends' unless they were of questionable character. It was much the same as a lover becoming their wife. Of course, greetings were exchanged and formalities observed whenever they met one of those female friends from childhood, and most of those got betrothed quite young. Busy raising families.

He probably would not even recognize most of the people that he saw around the mansion in an everyday setting, though he was not close to any particular one of them, except when they had decided to bother him. Such as Shihoin Yoruichi. She was not a friend, just an older woman who had nothing better to do than to waste an aspiring future leader's time. Should she not have been the mature one?

Though he had not realised before, Hisana was one then. His eyes softened at the thought before something flashed across them.

Could he call Rukia a friend?

The woman pouted as she stuck out a tongue, confused. "What I mean is, well, would you mind going out with me?"

"I am already outside."

"Darn it! He is definitely trying to fool us," the other whispered.

"Listen, you bratty man, we can see you hold some promise, but it doesn't amount to anything if you really are this snotty." The second one pointed a finger at him.

Snotty, huh? He really wanted to smile.

Well, this was not the first time he got called that. Good old days of Kuchiki Byakuya when he was hotheaded and not to mention just... well, snotty. Of course, he would not use that word, it was beneath his vocabulary. He never bothered to label himself with anything before either. Byakuya had one thing and that was pride.

Finally resolved on his response, he faced them and extended his hand.

"A 100 yen?" the first one gaped upon seeing what he offered.

"Leave my vicinity," he responded in the tones of command.

The woman smirked and took the note. There was a sound of a rip and she handed it back in pieces.

"No, thanks. Let's go, girl." And with that, they left.

Apparently his entreaty had not been well-received. But the end result was the same. Well, he had no need for useless cash, so he merely let it fall to the ground, not even considering that it would litter the street.


"Nii-sama, it would be nice if you joined us for lunch since I have not really had much else prepared," Rukia had told him in the morning as they passed through the gate to school.

"Very well."

"Where?"

"Outside."

"Ok." Rukia nodded.

"See you, Papa!" Miki stared at him.

After a few seconds, he realised that she was waiting. For what?

Right.

"I will see you later, Miki." He saw the girl's smile widen instantly, causing him to feel... happy. But even that did not last as their retreating forms soon vanished into the establishment.

He did not like being left alone like that.

The time was passing very slowly as he explored the town a bit and met some strange people on his way. He had gone to Kisuke's place, but that malcontent was away somewhere. Hours later Byakuya was glad to be back to school again, though his expression hardly gave anything away.

Rukia was there to greet him. He did notice how her kimono looked much better than before.

"Um, you will get your clothes soiled if you sit on the ground, Nii-sama." Rukia pointed out as she took a spot beneath the tree at the perimeter of the schoolyard. Shina would not come this far. Phew! "Here,use my handkerchief to sit on."

She held out a piece of cloth with strange creatures printed on it. Byakuya eyed this item distrustfully. Such a thing would distract him, and would not this get soiled, too?

"No need." He fished his own out of his inner pocket rather confidently only to find...

The soot marks were as fresh as that night.

Behold, the Hanabi night backfire!

"Nii-...?" He must have forgotten to wash it. But he was not in the same clothing as that night. He must have left it with Gigai-sama. Rukia was quite happy with her personal explanations if it was not for the flustered expression Byakuya held. His eyes stood still like stone. Was he actually in shock, reliving that mortifying experience?

"I will wash it once we get home." She extended her hand to collect it.

He placed it back from whence it came, hiding under the shadows of shame, and sat down quietly opposite her in seiza. "No need," he repeated.

Byakuya knew himself to be a very organized and clean man. This did not speak well for him. He was meant to be Rukia's role model as her Nii-sama.

But that was not it at all.

If brought to light, a thief would always be guilty of stealing and a liar would be guilty of lying. Right now, he was guilty due to reasons completely different from the very obvious.

No questions were asked any further than what was before them. And he was glad that it never needed to see daylight.

Ah, memories. Don't we all cling to them? But it was too soon for him to be relieved because...

"It looks really nice when Ladyma loves Papa," Miki said, settling herself comfortably beside them.

Both pair of eyes widened at each other simultaneously. Rukia looked away just as her gaze fell onto his eyes. A deep crimson played across her cheeks.

There was no need to understand what was being said. Or if it was even there. And in what form?

"Just eat Miki," came her response.


Warmth.

He could feel a flare of energy surging above him.

The phoenix of Sokyoku.

She was up there, too. But his eyes were towards the ground.

Why was he present? To carry out his duty or just feed on her image for the last time as he did his job?

He did not know. He hoped it to be over soon.

Now, he felt the presence growing stronger and probably closer to her. It would be done soon. All of Hisana's searching had gone in vain at that moment. He could not even feel sadness.

He was stone cold.

"Please protect my sister." Why was his love tested even after she was dead?

His eyes suddenly darted upwards. There she was clad all in white. Kuchiki Rukia. The very last remaining link to Hisana – her sister. Still alive and breathing. He could not see her face for she was far above him, ready to vanish out of existence and fly into the sky.

"Nii-sama." That word would vanish forever. It had already died.

She was too far, though still close enough for a captain of his rank to intervene and rescue. He could just…

The materialization of a million zanpakuto was now just an inch away, ready to claim her life.

And for the very first time, his prayer included something other than Hisana.

Just a miracle. That was all he wanted.

Too late though. Her form had by now disappeared behind that brilliant flame.

Any further thought would be wasted.

"I am sorry, Hisana."

The noble brought his eyes down in defeat. Disappointed. Even more so, when he discovered it was that human who had rescued her after all.

Yes, the fact that his prayer was answered was a miracle in itself.

But, too soon. His pride had been trampled over by that brat, because he would never understand what it really meant to be torn apart, not just from duty alone, but even himself.

Worst of all, from his one true love.

Every single day, he was being eaten alive from within and there was nothing he could do other than just live aimlessly. He lived just for the sake of living.

Byakuya supposed he should teach the hero apparent with his own hands before being disgraced further by his mockery. Only after that would he take it like an honourable man.

Without any delay, off he went.

The swift breeze by the sea jerked him from his trance. Why had he gone back to that day to start with?

The afternoon sun. That was what had reminded him. Death that loomed right before him, glowing like a Sokyoku which was brought to life.

"It looks really nice when Ladyma…"

He was not even sure how to react to it.

Laughter, tears, smile, smirk, scoff, anger, sadness… nothing fit the bill.

Nothing fit the bill.

He had wanted to kill Rukia with his own hands. Practically vowed. Would he have actually done it? Byakuya shuddered.

It would be a crime for her to harbor anything for him. On top of that, he could not give her what he had given to Hisana. Rukia was not any less important to him than his wife was, but he could not deem himself worthy. No, he was unable to be worthy.

He was not sure if he could even settle down again. But…

The torn spirit looked towards the cliff from the coastal line to find two distinct figures seated by the edge under the sunlight: Rukia and Miki.

"I am sorry," he had said under that twilight. And she had forgiven him straight away without a word. Worst of all, her eyes held no accusation.

No, he could not let her. Not this woman. He was indebted to her, a debt he would not be able to pay even with his life, honour and pride along with everything thrown in together.

The fact that she had more worth than the worthiest of all made it even more forbidden. It would be an offence even to think that he could compensate. He felt he was becoming even more beholden to her just by the thought alone.

Moreover, he had promised Hisana to look after her as her brother.

What was he thinking?

Byakuya turned his attention back to the ocean view before him.

He knew that Shiba man was very important to her. He could not taint her honour the same way she believed to have done to Kaien Shiba. He was slightly aware that she had looked up to him a lot. More like admired his every move, really, and cared for him far too much. He was very much aware of the fact but did not pay much heed to it until now.

Did Hisana know something like this might happen? Would he have been prepared if he knew?

And for the very first time, he felt afraid if… if she had actually…

At that moment, he recalled it all too well. All the puzzle pieces falling into place to create a vicious reality. The way her eyes scooted across as he wiped her cheeks that night or the way she clung to him in the Royal dimension. For him she had gone to the trouble of donning that kimono when she knew she could not manage it herself. She had abandoned sleep because of him, waiting. He did not want to know if there was anything else that she did.

He felt guilty at the happiness that stifled within his heart. Finally, there was someone who made him alive but…

It was wrong.

He had chosen to live for the sake of living only. Not to enjoy it as others did.

The dutiful lord broke free of such dismal thoughts and uttered a silent prayer at the back of his mind.

One of redemption. For the rest of his remaining days.

Next, he decided that it would be best if he kept a distance for her sake and played the role of a cold big brother.

A sigh escaped, grieving as it left him.

"I am sorry."

At the sudden empty feeling he could not help but let an undying thought pass him. Before he could let it sink into himself, he threw the key into the blue depths right before him without mercy, so that it may never return to him.

A single piece of cloth.

Kuchiki Byakuya was now a free man as he saw the material slowly begin to drown under the waves.

Hisana was right.

The sky and the earth never did meet.


Thank You!