Izuka is trying.
She is forcing herself out of bed to make breakfast and clean as much as possible. Then, she would become tired again. Her limbs would be heavy, unable to focus. Izuka would finish the job, go back to her room, and lay there miserably, hoping for a wink of sleep.
It is torture.
Thankfully, her eating habits have improved with eating more, but she tends to forget lunch, but makes up for it at dinner. She can feel again as well, the anger-edge going away but not completely. Aizawa and Shinso head out during the day to work on catching Shinso up on everything he missed in the hero course. They try to convince her to come along, but with no response. Yamada still has plenty of work to do, leaving Izuka alone with her mom babysitting her.
Izuka hates it.
She isn't going to try anything. Her mom tries to help out where she can, but leaves her to her own devices while she works on lawyer work. That leaves her hiding in her room, trying to force herself to move but she feels nothing. By dinner, she would manage to come out again to make dinner, Yamada would take Inko's place at babysitting, and the two would cook meals like normal. Yamada thankfully fills the silence with random rambling on any topic he decides, helping her focus. By the time dinner is done, Aizawa and Shinso are back and they eat dinner together with stories spreading around. After dinner, Izuka would clean up and head to bed without saying a word even if it is just torture because she can't fall asleep.
This has been going on for three days.
Tonight is no exception, but she is getting sick of it. She feels trapped yet she feels locked to her bed. It makes her feel anger, the one emotion she can clearly feel. Izuka wants to burst into flames to break out of whatever the hell is going on.
Too bad that would not solve any problems.
Izuka is done with this. Grabbing a paper and pencil, she writes down something on it, leaving it at her bedside before grabbing her glider. Normally, she would go through the entry way like a normal person, but Shinso happens to be a light sleeper and she rather not wake him up. She sticks with her second option. She turns on her quirk, something she has not done at all since the Stain fight, and grabs the earth particles within the window, quietly opening it . Not bothering with socks or shoes, she crawls out the window of the apartment, closing it just as gently before letting go of her quirk. Gripping her glider tightly, she jumps at an angle before opening her glider and flying off.
Aizawa and Yamada have been worrying nonstop about Izuka since the Stain attack. They have already talked over possible methods of helping her, but it's still hard when your daughter struggles with emotions. When the men brought it up to Inko, she told them that a similar thing has happened, but that she will snap out of it. An interesting fact that both men learned is that Izuka has stopped using her water-quirk before for a few months after she was kidnapped. However, what made them nervous is that she said it is worst this time, way worst. She didn't hide in her room like she did now. Aizawa in particular seems to be suffering worst, especially from what he seen in her notebooks.
Over the years, Aizawa has learned to follow his gut feeling when it came to Izuka. That feeling came tonight when he woke up with seemingly no reason. He gets up and silently moves to Shinso's room first to be safe. He is in bed sleeping. He needs it. He then moves to Izuka's room. She is gone. Aizawa can feel his heart rate rising as he takes a quick look-over of her room. Her glider is gone. He steps inside, noticing the note on the bedside. He picks it up to read.
Dagobah Beach
He steps out, going back to the bedroom to grab his scarf before heading out.
Izuka chose to come to this beach for one particular reason which is her water-bending quirk. This is not a first-time thing for her as much as she would rather not admit it. It has lasted months before, but she needs to snap out of it now. She can't be weak. Not now. Not after everything that has happened. She needs to be able to use every skill without thinking she is going to die. Everything needed to be an advantage. Izuka can't let any weakness be shown. One thing that she has learned is that when something like this happens, go to the roots. She needed to be comfortable with water again.
For the past few days, Izuka has struggled to deal with water in general. In a shower, she almost had a panic attack but she forced herself to continue. A glass of liquid bothers her, but she keeps her quirk off. This beach is the same beach that helped her be able to water-bend again.
Dagobah beach was originally covered in garbage when Izuka, as a vigilante, decided to first come here. She was still ignoring her water-quirk at the time and she wanted to work with sand, something she can do with her earth-bending quirk. Any free time became dedicated to getting this beach clean for practice. While she was cleaning, she had taken her shoes off to practice her echolocation skill in sand when she felt a wave run over he feet. This quickly set her water-quirk and she naturally grabbed at it, forgetting her problems when she did. That was one of the very few times she smiled and she is hoping for it to help her again.
Izuka can hear the waves crashing on the shoreline as she rolls up her pants, feeling the sand underneath her feet. She then approaches to where the waves are, staying just out of reach of them. She can feel herself trembling of fear.
Izuka hates this.
She has no idea how long she stood there. Minutes, hours, days? It's all numb to her. Time has been a struggle for her to keep up with at this point. She is surprised she can still tell when it is time to make breakfast and dinner. She needs to stop wasting time.
Izuka steps in the water, letting the waves surround her legs. She focuses on her breathing, fighting the trembles she feels rack at her body. A deep breathe in and a deep breathe out. This takes a while before she finally calms down, finding the water comforting. She feels that familiar tugging motion to let her bend it, but she waits till now to let her quirk take control. Grabbing the water, she starts with something natural, matching with the waves around her. Through her first time avoiding the quirk, she tried to do something natural to snap out of it. Anything, like freezing water, is out of bounds. She continues the familiar pattern, pushing her hands back and forth. However, when she looks down at her hands, she panics. She is not there anymore. Izuka sees her father in front of her.
You killed a man yet you show no remorse? Heh...maybe you were meant for the villain side to be able to kill like that.
Izuka drops to her knees, panicking as she scrambles out of the water before getting sick, curling up, breaking down, and muttering self-insulting comments about herself. She can hear the words whispered in her head.
Weak.
Should not exist.
Too powerful.
Killer.
Those words clash into her head, turning on her quirk but it makes things worst, biting her tongue to keep from screaming as she drops it. But something breaks through.
Izuka feels something grab the back of her neck, massaging it gently. Very few people know to do that with her. She fights the burning in her throat. She doesn't want anyone else involved.
"Go away." It is merely a whisper and she coughs heavily after. She can hear somebody shuffling in front of her, raking their hand through her hair while still keeping a firm grip on her neck.
"Kid, that isn't happening. I said we would be here and I know you said this would be tough but please..." Aizawa. She sighs, looking up at him tired, " You haven't been sleeping. Something more is going on than just this Izuka, but I can't help you if you don't tell me."
"I just feel trapped. That is all."
"Izuka, that is not all. What do you mean trapped?"
"I don't want to get up yet I can't fall asleep." Izuka can see a range of emotions going through his eyes. Then, she is suddenly pulled into a hug, and she hugs back weakly. She feels weak in general.
"Izuka, that is not normal. If you didn't have a schedule, would you still be moving?" She had to think a moment before shaking her head against his chest, " Thank God you have something to keep you going. Look, I'm proud of you for trying to overcome your fear but you need time - " Izuka growls, cutting him off as she pulls back and stands up.
"We don't have time. Time is being ripped away from us as we are speaking and I do not want to be vulnerable when we get in trouble again."
"That is what we are there for. Take a couple more days. You can't go straight to this when you have a deeper problem. One problem needs to be solved at a time. That is part of the whole picture whether you realize it or not. Right now, you need sleep so come on." Aizawa gets up, grabbing the back of her neck and guiding her. Izuka doesn't bother to fight back because she doesn't have the energy to, being guided like a doll.
When they arrive home, Aizawa makes her sit on the couch as he leaves to the kitchen. He sets up a teapot to boil water and he comes back out to sit beside. Without a word, he massages Izuka's neck gently, guiding her to lay back a little instead of her stiff position. The two remain like that for a while until the teapot whistles. Aizawa exits to the kitchen and mixes a tea to help with sleep, grabbing some crackers and coming out, handing them to her. Izuka sighs, but she takes both. Ignoring any discomfort, she ate the crackers and drank the tea. When she is finished, he takes her to the bedroom. Izuka reluctantly lays down. He gets in with her, pulling her close for cuddle with as he strokes her hair gently. Izuka looks up at him.
"You don't have to do this." She softly tells him. Aizawa shakes his head, not giving a response and keeping her close, not bothering to move. Without another word, Izuka passes out in his arms quickly after everything, Aizawa following suit.
Within a couple hours of rest, Aizawa wakes up to Izuka trembling in his arms. She pulls back from him as she sits up, looking more tired than before. Her hair messily covers her eyes as she curls up, quiet. He sits up, being careful.
"Izuka?" He whispers. No response. Izuka roughly runs her hands through her hair, gripping her scalp harshly and tugging at her hair. How long has this been going on? Carefully, he tears her hands from her hair, rubbing them gently. She looks up and she looks...gone, more so than normal. "Willing to tell me what is going through that head of yours?" He honestly doesn't expect an answer, but he has to try. Thankfully, the trying work. He expects it's because of how distraught she is.
Izuka speaks softly, "The elements don't represent just fighting styles, but they represent teaching styles as well...life styles I guess." She has never talked about this before. He lets her continue, " The one I follow is air obviously, my whole style relies on that. Have you ever wondered why the air-style happens to be so different compared to the rest? The air-style takes advantage of their surroundings, use their body to dodge as much as possible, they are elegant with their moves." Izuka mutters something, trying to reach for her hair but he stops her once more, trying to guide her to continue. It takes her a moment.
"The air-style is meant for pacifist. The style is meant to avoid fights. They are the ones who believe in peace. It's the most traditional style, and the hardest because most people believe you need to fight when you do not always have to. That is why whenever you found anybody when I was a vigilante, they had little damage. I followed it to the letter. Funny how the girl with karma wants to be a pacifist." She chuckles softly with a dark tone. Aizawa gets it now. He finally gets it. He takes her chin gently, making her look him in the eyes. He makes sure his voice is as gentle as possible.
"Izuka, you will not always be able to get out situations without hurting somebody. I never knew that delved that far, but honestly? That explains a ton," Izuka looks at him shocked, his turn to chuckle," I noticed how you end battles as quickly as possible. That way, the least amount of damage can be cause to them. You hit them correctly so they are knocked out, but not hurt. When you were fighting against classmates, you seemed to flinch every time you hit somebody. You do the same with me. It's not because of the pain, is it?" Izuka took a moment to shake her head."You are still following the rule still, even after you broke it. If that is not self-discipline, I don't know what is." He pulls her into a hug, rubbing her back. He doesn't expect another word, but he gets one anyway.
"Dad?" He hums in response, " I don't know, but I feel lighter? Barely but it's there."
"Happens when you talk about certain things." He mumbles as he guides her to lie back down, holding her gently. Aizawa doesn't get another response after that. He falls asleep, Izuka unable to but she enjoys the company at least.
