Author's Note: Hey guys! So I had this chapter already written so I thought why wait, just upload it early. This is very much an aftermath chapter, showing how Sirius really doesn't cope well when something happens to his kids! Enjoy, and leave me a review if you can!
Harry sat in Dumbledore's office, the headmaster watching him from across the table. Sirius sat beside him while, much to Sirius's dismay, Snape stood behind both of them.
"Harry?" Dumbledore asked, his voice calm and gentle.
"Will she be ok?" Harry whispered.
The image of Mara screaming on the floor was locked in his head, and no matter what he did, he couldn't get it to go away.
"Madam Pomfrey is doing all she can for Mara." Dumbledore said. "But right now, we need to talk about this."
Dumbledore held up the black diary, immediately sending chills through Harry's bloodstream.
"You said you got this in Diagon Alley?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry nodded, whilst Sirius stayed silent. He was staring straight at his lap, as if he had forgotten anyone else was even in the room with him. He had not spoken to anyone, but Harry couldn't blame him. It was written all over his face how worried he was about his niece… the niece he had only just found again.
"Where in Diagon Alley?"
"I'm not sure." Harry said, which was true. He couldn't remember even seeing the diary before they got back to Grimmauld Place.
Dumbledore set the book down on the table, and looked straight up into Harry's eyes.
"You were right to think this book caused everything with Mara. I believe that whenever she wrote in it, a part of whatever was inside it latched on to her. Until it was eventually strong enough to control her completely."
"Wait," a voice from beside Harry said, "You knew that book was causing this?"
Harry turned. Sirius was glaring at him, his face blank but also angry. Harry shook his head.
"No… well, yes… but I only found out tonight."
"And you didn't think to tell me?"
"I told Snape." Harry whispered.
Sirius looked as though Harry had slapped him straight across the face.
"Snape? You went to Snape before me?"
Harry felt tears prick his eyes at Sirius's tone. He had never spoke to Harry like that. Sure, he had been angry with him on occasions past, but never this. He was almost… blaming Harry.
Harry tried his best to explain. "Snape saw what happened with Mara when he used Legilmency on me! I thought he would understand… I didn't think you would believe me."
Sirius rubbed his face and groaned. "You could have helped her sooner, if you'd just told me."
"Sirius, I swear I only really suspected the diary tonight! When I opened it, and saw it was empty, I knew something was wrong! Sirius please don't be angry at me. I told someone as soon as I could!" Harry said, the tears spilling down his cheeks.
"Yes… but you didn't tell me." And with that, Sirius turned away from him.
"Sirius, I think it is obvious that Harry did what he thought was best at the time." Dumbledore said. Sirius, on the other hand, said nothing.
"Harry, when you brought this diary to Professor Snape, you weren't aware of who Tom Riddle was, or is?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry nodded. The whole thing with Snape seemed like a lifetime ago, and he still did not know who Tom Riddle even was. But the image of Mara came into his head, the red eyes that had been in place of her dark ones. He had seen them before on another face. A face that haunted his dreams every night.
"I think I know now." Harry whispered. "Professor, what happened to Mara?"
"Tom Riddle was using her body as a host, Harry. He was feeding off her life source. She got weaker while he became stronger. He was controlling her, trapping her soul inside her own mind. Yes, it's as horrific as it sounds." Dumbledore explained.
"So… was Tom inside the diary?" Harry asked.
"It was a piece of very dark magic, Potter. Something that someone your age should have no recollection of." Snape suddenly interrupted.
"And where is he now? Where did he go?" Harry questioned.
"I'm afraid we cannot be sure that he has truly left Mara until she recovers some more." Dumbledore said.
"She pushed him out of her head?"
"Yes, Harry, she did. I think Miss Lestrange proved how strong she is."
"Or how stupid she is." Sirius scoffed.
"Sirius, please." Dumbledore said in a gentle voice.
"What? She chose to write in that bloody diary! It was answering her, right? Anything with a mind of its own is dark magic! How many times have I told them both that. She should have told me the minute she realised." Sirius half shouted.
"This is not Mara's fault, Sirius. Nor is it Harry's. It is no one's." Dumbledore stated sternly.
Sirius stood up. It was the first-time Harry had gotten a proper look at him all night, and he could already see the sun rising on the horizon outside through the window. He looked exhausted. His hair was matted around his face, his eyes were sunken in and blood-shot and his skin looked as white as a ghost.
"No one's?! Open your damn eyes Dumbledore! My niece is lying down there an inch from death, and all because not one single person thought to tell me what the fuck was going on!"
Harry felt as though Sirius had just stuck a knife straight into his gut.
"Sirius, I was going to tell you- I swear I was! I only just found-" Harry cried, trying to grab Sirius's hand, but he pulled away from him.
"When? Straight after you ran to Snivellus!? Save it, Harry!"
Sirius kicked over the chair and left the room in three quick strides. Harry got up, desperate to follow him, to explain how sorry he was for not going to him first, when he felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him back. He looked up to see Snape standing over him, Dumbledore standing behind his desk.
"Leave him, Harry. He needs time." The headmaster said.
Harry stared after Sirius, looking at the open doorway with such longing that he was sure whatever was left of his heart had just broken into a million pieces.
Sirius sat on the floor of his quarter's, his head spinning as it clouded with the memories of the night that had passed. He had sworn to keep her safe, to protect her as best he could, and he had failed. He felt a surge of anger pass through him as he thought about Harry, and how he hadn't told him sooner that he suspected the diary. He felt another when he thought of Mara continuing to write in the diary, despite knowing it had a mind of its own. All those nights he had looked over and saw her writing, scribbling down with such determination… and all along she had been slowly losing herself. Slowly being controlled by a madman, who had been inside her head… wormed his way through her thoughts and memories.
And that's when the tears came. Sirius couldn't cope, couldn't bear to think about what had been going on. She could have been killed, could have killed Harry, at any time. The tears streamed down his cheeks and he sat on the floor, shaking viciously, wanting everything to disappear.
"Sirius?"
Sirius quickly stood up, wiping his eyes as he did so, and was met by the sight of the one person he needed now more than ever.
"Remus… what- how did you get here?"
Remus smiled weakly, and pointed at the fireplace behind him.
"When?" Sirius asked.
"About thirty seconds ago, Dumbledore flooed. He told me to tell you that Minerva is looking after Harry at the moment."
Sirius nodded. At least that was good… Minerva would know what to do.
"And what exactly did Dumbledore tell you?" Sirius asked, sitting himself down on the couch.
"Everything." Remus said, sitting down next to Sirius, the silence surrounding them like prey.
"I've messed up, Moony." Sirius whispered.
Remus didn't say anything, but Sirius could feel his gaze on him.
"Sirius, none of this was anyone's fault." Remus said.
"Why did she do it? Why did she keep on writing in that diary?" Sirius mumbled.
"Listen to me. This is not Mara's fault. She didn't know what she was doing."
Sirius looked up at his friend and deep down, he knew he was right. Mara hadn't known the outcome; how was she to know the diary was dark magic?
"Harry did, and he ran to Snape before even bothering to tell me. Every minute was precious! Every minute Mara was getting weaker." Sirius argued.
Remus looked stunned, almost angry, as he glared at Sirius.
"How can you even think that, let alone say it. Harry cares about Mara just as you do, he would never put her in danger."
"He knew, Remus. He knew it was something to do with the diary." Sirius snapped.
"How long?" Remus bit back.
"What?"
"How long did Harry know?"
Sirius sighed. "He claims he only found out last night, and went to Snape because Snape had seen what Mara done to his hand."
"What happened to his hand?" Remus asked.
"She nearly broke it."
Remus gasped. "Do you tell me anything in your letters? You're too stubborn to admit that Harry is not in the wrong."
"How'd you work that one out?"
"You always know when Harry lies. Did you get the vibe that he was being dishonest when you asked him?" Remus questioned.
Sirius shook his head. Harry had looked straight at him, and had even begun to cry. Harry didn't get emotional like that unless he was frustrated. And of course, he would be angry… his own godfather didn't believe him. Sirius felt a pang in his chest, a sudden longing for Harry.
"So, he was obviously telling the truth, Padfoot."
Sirius stood up, running his hands through his matted hair.
"You're looking for someone to blame." Remus said, "You want to blame someone, anyone, for what's happened. But Harry is not responsible for this, Sirius. He's your godson, and he needs you now more than ever. You need to go to him, and he needs you to be there."
"I know. But how can I make this right. I blamed him for what happened." Sirius mumbled.
"The thing I've always loved most about Harry is how he's exactly like Lily: forgiving."
Sirius smiled weakly. "She was also stubborn. They'd be so disappointed in me, Remus. The one thing I had to do was protect their son… now he needs protection from me."
"You're a brilliant father to Harry. James and Lily would both be so proud with how you've raised him. And for what it's worth, Regulus would be proud of you, too."
"I couldn't have done any of it without you, Moony. You know that?" Sirius said.
"Harry needs you, Sirius. Go." Remus responded.
"Where will you go?" Sirius asked.
"I'll go check on Mara. Give you time to talk to Harry." Remus said.
Sirius nodded, and left the room without another glance.
Harry was sitting on the windowsill in McGonagall's classroom. The rest of the school would be awake soon and classes were due to start in a few hours. The morning sunlight was shining in, lighting up the room like fire as Harry gazed out across the lake.
He didn't know how to feel. Was he angry? Scared? He didn't know. He still hadn't slept a wink, leaving him with a throbbing head ache on top of everything. Harry's stomach was rumbling loudly, but Harry doubted he could eat even if a plate of food was set down in front of him.
"There you go, Potter."
Harry turned. McGonagall was standing next to him holding a cup of what appeared to be hot chocolate. Harry took it politely, smiling as best he could to show his gratitude.
"Whatever Sirius said, he didn't mean it you know." She said.
Harry, found he couldn't answer. He was done talking about all this, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep until next year.
"Sirius always did have a habit of saying things he later regretted you know, especially when he was at school." McGonagall said, summoning herself a cup of tea. "Yes, he always found himself saying something that backfired, but he usually came to his senses."
"He blames me. Because I told Snape. He thinks I knew about it longer than I did." Harry mumbled, and before he knew it, the tears spilled down his face. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't know!"
The cup was removed from Harry's hand, and he was soon in a tight embrace. McGonagall was also now sitting on the windowsill, her arms wrapped firmly around Harry in an almost protective way.
"I know, Potter, I know." She said.
They sat for a long while, McGonagall continuing to embrace Harry.
"I shall arrange for you to stay in the hospital wing today where you can get some sleep, but also be near Miss Lestrange." She said.
Harry nodded, feeling a strong sense of respect towards the witch. The sun outside had now fully risen, and the distant sound of footsteps and voices could be heard. Harry was deep in thought when he heard a knock on the classroom door.
"Enter." McGonagall said.
The door opened, and Harry's stomach immediately dropped as Sirius entered the room. He walked down the class between the desks, stopping in front of Harry and McGonagall.
"Can I have a word with Harry please, Minerva?" Sirius said.
"Of course." She said, and she gave Harry once last smile before getting off the windowsill and disappearing from the room.
Sirius looked at Harry, but didn't say anything at first. His face was tear stained, an obvious sign that Sirius had been just as distraught as Harry.
"Harry, I- "Sirius began, but Harry quickly stopped him.
"I didn't know. I didn't know about the stupid diary. I didn't realise it was the cause of everything until I saw nothing was written in it. I would never put Mara in danger like that. How could you even think I wouldn't tell you! You were gone, and I needed someone to help!"
"I know. Harry I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything." Sirius said. "I should have been there for both of you. You both got hurt and it was my fault for not protecting you. I should have listened to you, but I was too stubborn to see passed Snape. I'm sorry, Harry, I truly am."
Harry watched as the strongest man he ever knew, crumbled in front of him. Sirius was on his knees on the floor, fresh tears pricking the side of his eyes. Harry couldn't bear it. He jumped off the windowsill and stood in front of Sirius, lifting his head by his chin.
"I forgive you." Harry whispered.
Sirius pulled Harry into a hug, stroking the back of his hair and kissing his forehead.
"I love you, Harry. So much. Always and forever, no matter what." Sirius said, the emotion nearly drowning out his words.
"I love you too, Padfoot." Harry whispered.
Sirius broke away and stood up, taking Harry's hand.
"Come on. We need to see Mara."
They walked from the room and through the corridors, ignoring glances from students. The hospital wing was empty again apart from Mara and Remus, who was sitting at her bedside.
"Remus!" Harry shouted, running down the hospital wing. Remus lifted him up and kissed his head hard.
"Harry! So good to see you. You ok?"
Harry nodded. "I will be."
Harry looked over at Mara, who looked just as terrible as she had the night before and was lying flat on her back. Her chest was moving up and down every so often, but her breathing was so quiet Harry could barely hear it. Madam Pomfrey appeared next to her, stroking her hair and running another diagnostic.
"How is she?" Sirius asked.
Madam Pomfrey looked grave. "Not good, I'm afraid. She's stable for the moment, but still very, very weak. She hasn't eaten or got any rest in weeks by the look of her results."
"He wanted to keep her weak. So, she couldn't fight him." Sirius whispered, but Harry still heard.
"Will she be ok?" Remus asked.
Madam Pomfrey turned to look at Mara for a long moment, before looking back at the three of them.
"I'm sorry, but I really don't know."
