Chapter 29:
"Darlings, please! You'll smother your poor aunt Zarabeth and uncle James into oblivion." Amelia was doing her best to corral her four rambunctious toddlers, barely getting ahold of one before another would slip from her control.
"They're alright, Amelia, really. Jim and I can handle them. I'm just so happy to see you all." Zarabeth tried to reassure Amelia as she spoke between her own laughter.
Her three nieces and nephew were absolutely adorable, their energy being released in all directions as they played with her and Jim atop her bed, Amelia, Delbert, B.E.N., and Sarah close by as they watched the chaos ensue.
Jim was more than busy with keeping the three little feline girls occupied, the boy lying face-down on the bed pretending to sleep while the girls clambered and crawled all over him, attempting to wake him. Each time they thought they'd succeeded, Jim's mock snoring would only increase in volume, causing the girls to giggle and squeal in delight as they would renew their efforts.
When she wasn't distractedly watching Jim, Zara was sitting up against the headboard of her bed, the little dog-boy, Andrew, in her lap as they laughed and made faces at each other. She'd missed this, simply spending time with the people who meant the most to her, especially her nephew and nieces. They were each so precious, so energetic and entertaining in everything they did, Zarabeth could easily watch them for hours.
"Woah! Hey now, missy. I kinda need that." Jim's voice suddenly rose above the din, startled back into awareness by the red-haired girl tugging mercilessly at a handful of the boy's dark hair.
Once the boy had freed himself, Amelia was instantly at her daughter's side, her tone commanding yet gentle as she reprimanded the toddler, taking her time with each word. "Alexandra? What did Daddy tell you about pulling hair and ears? That's right. He directed you not to. Now, we'll have no more of that, young lady. James should not be losing his hair for a good few decades more, and I'm certain he'd prefer to keep it that way."
The little feline now released from her mother's scolding, Alexandra hurriedly crawled back over to where her sisters were still playing with Jim, eager to rejoin the fray.
After almost an hour into the Dopplers' visit, the small children began to run out of steam, slowly drifting off to sleep one-by-one, each still lying atop Zarabeth's bed in one fashion or another.
Carefully transferring a sleeping Andrew into his father's arms, Zara tried to suppress her quiet laughter as her attention was drawn to the scene beside her.
Jim was completely pinned where he lying, still on his stomach, each of the small girls asleep in the oddest of positions to keep the boy from being able to move.
Alexandra had taken to wrapping herself about one of Jim's arms, each of her small limbs surrounding his in a tight embrace as she slept peacefully. Elizabeth, the brunette, was draped comfortably over the boy's legs, their position acting almost as a chair for the small feline as she smiled in her sleep. The fair-haired girl, Susan, was the sweetest of them all, the little girl content to lie face-down on Jim's back, limbs splayed out on either side of her as her small form rose and fell to the even rhythm of her breathing, making small cooing noises as she dreamed.
With a hint of desperation in his eyes, Jim turned toward Zarabeth as he whispered his plea. "Help me."
Shaking her head slowly, Zara tried to keep her voice just as quiet, hoping that her laughter would stay buried in her chest. "I don't know if I want to." The girl watched in growing amusement as Jim's look donned that of a begging child.
"But, Zara, I-I've got an itch in my leg and its about killing me. Please?" The boy drew out the final word in a long slow manner, his look even more comical than before as he smiled hopefully up at her.
"Well...since you asked nicely."
It didn't take long for Zara to help free Jim from the tiny forms pinning him down, each of the girls still asleep when the two put them down with their brother in Jim's room.
Quietly closing the wooden door behind her, the girl caught herself releasing a heavy sigh as she turned to walk back to her room with Jim.
It wasn't until they'd gotten inside that he dared to speak, certain that something was wrong. "Hey. You ok?"
Zara could only nod slowly, unsure even of her own reasons and feelings as she finally lowered herself to sit on the edge of her bed.
"Is it Silver?"
The girl's thoughts finally fell into place as she felt Jim sit beside her, a sad smile crossing her lips as she wrung her hands in her lap. "Ya. I guess so."
Watching her struggle with her own mind, Jim was content to wait for Zarabeth to arrange her thoughts into a coherent answer.
"I-I feel disjointed, like I live in two different worlds... No, maybe it's even more than two. I don't know." Pulling her legs onto the bed with her, Zara took in a deep breath before continuing, her head cradled against her knees as she stared across the room at nothing in particular.
"When I was a slave, every day was just another fight for survival, to get through that night to the next morning, only to endure it all over again. This whole thing felt like that, survival. I've won through both, but in my mind it's like it never happened. I know it did because of the memories and scars I have to prove it, but it just doesn't feel as much of a part of me anymore.
Flying with Amelia, knowing Silver, finding Treasure Planet, that was all such a different thing. Constant danger and adventure, looking back, it's hard to believe it even happened. In comparison to the way I live here with you, your mom, Amelia and Delbert's family, I can't imagine doing those things again, but we came pretty close with Silver being back."
Thinking back on what she'd just said, Zara began to laugh quietly, running a hand over her eyes as she tried to explain herself. "I don't even know what's bothering me. I just feel like I'm two different people. One day, I'm just Zarabeth, living life here as any other normal Montression would, but the next, I'm someone else. I'm off gallivanting across the galaxy to find lost treasure or helping to save a pirate's life.
I loved being aboard the Legacy, the excitement and endless adventure. I truly felt as if I belonged somewhere, flying through the Etherium day after day. But I also love this life, the simple life.
I don't even know why I'm having trouble with this. I'm probably just overtired and over thinking everything... And now I'm just rambling. Oh goodness..."
The silence which followed Zara's final words bothered her, unsure of what to make of it until she raised her eyes to meet Jim's.
The emotion in the boy's eyes was beyond that of simple affection or love. It was pure adoration.
Zarabeth could feel her heart begin to race beneath that unwavering look, her mind fighting to concentrate as Jim slowly made his reply, his eyes never leaving hers.
"No, I get it, about the two halves. I think everyone feels like that, to some degree. We change with our surroundings. It's kinda like those heroes in all those stories, the ones who live two different lives, keeping each one separate from their other world. There's usually the normal, quiet, and sometimes boring half, and then there's the crazy, exciting, or life-risking other half.
As for what you might think is another one of your lives, no one but you and people who really know you can see it. No one would know what you've been through just by looking at you. You're too happy, too confident, too...alive to hint at it.
Would you look at me and think that I used to be the way I was? No, I wouldn't either. It's a good thing, but ya know... Even though that's not who I really am anymore, it's still a part of me. You just can't see it. I think it just becomes part of both halves, you use it in both situations, ya know? But...what does this got to do with Silver?"
It suddenly struck the girl that she'd gotten completely off track, drowning too much in her own confusion to even get to the point of it all. "I-It's just that... I already miss Silver. It's hard to just let him go like that, but I know he can't stay, not with the way things are. It's like Silver is trapped in that other half of my life, the adventure and danger. He can't be a part of this one. I want him to. Any time spent with Silver only further risks his life and ours, but it just makes me want to be with him more. In a perfect world, he'd be able to stay with us, we'd all live this life together, no more crossing into that other half to be with him. I hope we see him again, but not if it'll hurt or endanger him."
Jim's arm wrapped about her shoulders was a comfort, her every word only further conforming the thought in her mind. They might never see Silver again. Zara could feel Jim lean in closer to her, his words low to her ear as he took one of her hands in his.
"I know. I've thought about that too. We're just gonna have to wait and see. Whatever happens will happen, we can't worry about it. If nothing else, that little gizmo he left with us ensures at least one more visit from him someday. And now that we know how to reach him, I think it'd be safe enough to write, we'd just have to do it that funky way that he wrote to us. Sound good?"
"Yeah. Sounds good." All her feelings and anxieties released, Zara was able to relax again. Her mind was completely at ease, surrounded in Jim's arms, Zarabeth knew she had nothing to fear. "Thank you, Jim."
Everything was going to be alright. As long as she had Jim by her side, she was safe, she was happy. She was complete.
