Now, we're back on track. I really liked the episode last night. Glad to see Tony was feeling bad about his bullying of Tim in the past (hm, sounds familiar ... lol), although sad to find out it was Tony who was bullied. Although, it does explain much about his character, having to always prove himself as the savvy, cool, tough guy. Any way I'm starting to ramble.
I've watched the preview for the next show about ten times! I can't wait until next week!
Until then, ... on with the story ...

Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from NCIS.


Abby's head shot up. "What do you mean? What did Tim tell you?"

"He hasn't told me anything, but I understand that something down there has him feeling really guilty. I've read over the reports and there is nothing on there that he would have to feel bad about, so, did something happen between the two of you?"

She took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. She knew she had acted badly in Mexico, she even apologized to McGee about it, in her own special way. But telling Gibbs that she disregarded the safety of both of them, this was not going to be pleasant.

"You know, Alejandro ... Rivera invited me down to conduct a class in forensic science."

"Yeah."

"Well, knowing what I know now, I realize it was just a way to get me down there to ..." She paused to look around to make sure no one was listening. She dropped her voice to a whisper. "... to give me that bullet."

"Okay. I know all this Abs. What does any of it have to do with McGee?"

"Alejandro had told us to stay within the University because he couldn't guarantee our safety outside of it. And ..." She paused, nervous.

"And ..." Gibbs was starting to lose his patience.

"And I didn't listen. I insisted that I had to take my class to the actual crime scene. I barreled over all of their objections. I told Tim I would just leave him behind if he didn't do what I wanted."

Gibbs was stunned. He never would have thought Abby would act so carelessly about her own safety, but then he remembered Mikel Mawher. He had been angry at Tim, not only because he let Mikel have an opening, but because he didn't stand up for himself against Abby. "Abby ..."

"That's not the worst part."

"There's more?"

Abby nodded. "Paloma Reynosa came up to us. Had her goons with guns on all of us, being very threatening, and Tim ..." She really hated to think about the position she had put him in. "Tim offered himself as a hostage if she would let everyone else go. Said that, as a Federal Agent, he would be worth more than a forensic scientist and her class."

Gibbs was so angry he couldn't speak. He just stared at Abby.

Abby, was fidgeting, uncomfortable about the way Gibbs was looking at her, so she decided to fill the silence. "Paloma called him very brave, said that she would spare us as long as we looked into something for her and that's when she tossed me the bullet casing."

She could see that Gibbs was still very angry. "I'm sure she never intended to hurt any of us ... she just wanted leverage on you ..."

"You didn't know that then!" His voice quiet so as not to wake the rest of the house, but it was still full of anger. "What would you have done if she took McGee up on his offer? Why isn't that in any of the reports."

"I asked him not to say anything. Afterwards I knew how dumb I had been. I felt really bad about not only putting myself at risk, but Tim and my class. I told him I was sorry and asked him not to mention anything because ..."

"Because you knew I'd never let you go anywhere again."

Abby winced. "Yeah." She said sheepishly.

He thought about a couple of weeks ago, when Abby had been asked to give a presentation in South Africa. She would have needed an escort and they had asked Tim to do it. He had come to Gibbs practically begging for someone else to be sent. Quoting all the reasons that Abby would be safer with Tony or Ziva. He thought it odd that Tim was trying so hard to get out of an assignment. Now it made sense. He really did feel that he wouldn't be able to keep Abby safe. The whole thing was called off and Abby gave her presentation via MTAC, but it had left Gibbs seriously questioning Tim's abilities, until now. "Abby, I ..."

"It won't ever happen again Gibbs! I promise!"

He looked at her hard and saw the sincerity and the fear. His anger lessened a little. "You're damn right it won't! He is an agent, Abby, just like me or Tony or Ziva. If you can't separate the agent from the friend, then I think it is best that someone else acts as your escort from now on."

"But ..."

"No, no buts. Until I see that you treat him just seriously and with the same respect as the rest of us, I won't risk either of you by putting you in those kind of situations."

"Either of us?"

Gibbs nodded. "That's right. By his lack of back bone, he put both of you at risk. What if Paloma would have opened fire and I would have lost you both. He's in charge and he needs to make sure you understand that, even if you don't like it."

"Gibbs, I ..."

"Jethro, really, aren't you forgetting something very important here?" Ducky came out to join them. He had been listening, just to see if he would be needed.

"And what's that?"

"Abigail is your favorite. Everyone knows they would face your wrath if anything was done to upset or hurt her." He sat down and put a hand on Abby's shoulder. "No offense my dear girl."

"No, you're right. I know how hard Timmy tries to please Gibbs. That he is worried about everything he does and what the bossman will think of him."

"You use that against him?" Gibbs was getting angry again, now realizing why Tim had a lot of the issues he did.

"Not really ... I just ... well, I just like getting my way. You know that I don't stop to think about the consequences until after. Haven't learned yet, some scientist I am."

Ducky patted Abby's shoulder. "Now, now my dear. Do not take all the blame, as Jethro said, Timothy does bare some responsibility here. He should have put his foot down regardless of how mad you would get at him or how mad ..."

"Or how mad I would." Gibbs completed for him.

Ducky gave a small smile. "Which is a feat in and of itself."

"But I wouldn't have been mad at him for that, no matter how much Abby would have complained."

"I'm sure everyone knows that except Timothy, because he always finds fault with what he does. If he does something good, it could have been better, if he does something wrong, it is a personal blow against him. He felt the best solution to keep two people happy, two people who mean the world to him, was to do something against what his training dictated. We know what he is willing to sacrifice for someone he cares for."

They were all quiet as they remembered him quitting, without a second thought, when it came to defending his sister.

Gibbs sighed, pulled Abby into a hug, and kissed her on the top of her head.

"You're not mad at me anymore?"

"Yes and no, Ducky's right, there was a lot more to that situation. Plus, it is in the past, to punish either of you now is too far after the fact. But, I meant what I said, it won't put either of you in that kind of situation again, until I see changes. Understand?"

Abby kiss his cheek. "I understand, but I meant it too, when I promised that I would never let it happen again."

Gibbs studied her for a moment and then nodded. "Alright, bed time for you."

She smiled, stood and stretched. "Okay, night Gibbs." She planted a kiss on top of the ME's head. "Night, Ducky."

"Good night, my dear."

Both men waited until she was inside before speaking again. Gibbs let out a long sigh. "That must be killing him."

"It has been hard for him yes. When I got him talking about it, it nearly sent him into a panic attack. The danger he allowed Abby to be in, her class, what would you think of him, how he didn't measure up to Tony or Ziva, so on and so on."

"What about the danger he put himself in?"

"Oh, he had no worries about that. Said it would have ...um, 'served him right' if Reynosa would have taken him. His punishment for being so stupid and weak."

The two men fell silent as the night stretch on.

"How does he do it Duck? How does he take all of that baggage and turn it around to be such a good agent and not come apart at the seams?"

"How do any of us do it?"

Gibbs fell silent again, trying to make sense of it all.

Ducky stood and place a hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "Don't think so much about it. He trusts you, and the team, but you more than any other person in his entire life."

"There's Sarah."

"Yes, and he does trust her, but he is her protector, the big brother who needs to be infallible. It is you that he trusts with his own safety, that is something he has never had before."

Gibbs looked up at his old friend.

Ducky gave a squeeze, "I shall see you tomorrow Jethro, do try to get some sleep."

"Night, Duck."

Gibbs stayed on the back porch, thinking, until DiNozzo came to get him for his rotation.

XXXX

It was a relatively quiet night. Tim's nightmares were not as intense as they had been. Although, each of the team had a turn at calming him during at least one point during their rotation.

Tim awoke alone in the bed, for the first time in two days. Well, alone except for his dog. He sat up and gained the attention of said dog. "Good Morning Jethro, did you have a good night."

"As well as yours McGee."

Tim stopped for a moment wondering if his dog really just spoke to him, then he realized the voice was coming from behind him. He smiled and turned around. "Morning, Boss."

Gibbs leaned against the door frame, glad to see McGee actually looking rested. "You have thirty minutes before breakfast is ready."

Tim nodded and swung his legs out of bed.

Since he was wearing a t-shirt and boxers, it was the first time Gibbs had seen the scar on his leg from the car accident.

McGee noticed where he was looking and followed Gibbs' eyes down to his own leg. "Yeah, I won't be winning any contests for nice looking legs, but at least its still there."

Gibbs' eyes went from the scar to his agent's eyes. "Was there a worry it wouldn't be?"

Tim met Gibbs' eyes and shrugged. "I'm not sure. I was pretty out of it for a while. From what I know, I was unconscious for three days and semi-conscious for another two. So by the time I was ready to understand what had happened to me, all the important stuff was out of the way. I just needed to recover."

"From what you know? Wouldn't your parents have told you everything that had happened? I know they weren't the best parents in the world, but with something this severe, I would think paternal instinct would finally kick in."

Tim looked away from his boss and studied his scar. "Nope."

Gibbs came into the room and sat down on the bed next to McGee. "Tell me what happened."

Tim shrugged. "The car was junk, it was barley running. The fact that I crashed it on first day I had it out just proved I didn't deserve it. Being in the hospital was my punishment for thinking too much of my self." He shrugged again. "Only Sarah came to see me, and the doctors weren't to inclined to tell a seven-year-old much detail."

So much more made sense from his conversation with Ducky last night. Gibbs took a moment to calm himself before he spoke, knowing it would come out wrong if he didn't. "I've heard of neglect before, but ..."

Again, Tim just shrugged. "What are you supposed to do if the kid you got isn't the one you wanted?"

Gibbs' response was automatic. "You love them anyway."

That brought a small smile to McGee. "I figured you'd say something like that." The smile fell and he looked up at his boss. "But, it's easier said than done. What if I was your kid. I know I'm nothing like what you would have wanted. Could you have really looked past all the 'should have beens' and 'what ifs'? To see past all the hopes and dreams that would never come true? To know that your own flesh and blood would not be anything like you or follow in your footsteps?"

Gibbs was taken back by the sincerity of McGee's questions. How could he even try to understand their point of view? He opened his mouth to respond, but Tim cut him off.

"Take a moment to really think about it." Tim fidgeted uncomfortably as he knew the statement he was about to make was treading on sacred ground.. "Think about your daughter, what you wanted for her, where you thought she'd end up in life and now think about her being the complete opposite of that."

Gibbs did take a moment to think, really think about it. He and Shannon had so many dreams for Kelly, that even by the time of their deaths, he and Shannon had not stopped debating her potential. He never wanted his daughter in the military, thinking more that she would take after her mother instead of her father. But what if she didn't? What if she felt the same pull to go into the military he did? What if she felt the pull to go into something else entirely, like the clergy or politics?

Then he thought about Tim. Would he really be proud to have a son like Tim? They were so different as boss and subordinate, what if it was as father and son?

He shook his head and looked at Tim. "I may not have agreed with every decision my daughter might have made, if she had lived. I may not have even agreed with what profession she would have ended up in, but she would always be my daughter and the only way I would ever think about turning my back on her is if she would have become a criminal like the ones we deal with everyday ... and that is only think about."

McGee went to say something, but a soft head-slap stopped him. "I'm not done. Would you and I have had a smooth relationship as father and son, no. I won't kid myself or you about that, but I would have been able to see all of that potential just dying to be tapped. I would have guided that potential and watch you grow into someone amazing." He paused and put his hand, that had just slapped his agent, on the back of Tim's neck and gave a firm, but gentle squeeze. "In fact, that is exactly what I did."

Tim searched Gibbs eyes for any sign of doubt or platitude. He found only sincerity. It made his heart ache for all the things that might have been and he felt tears start to well up. No! I will not cry again!

Gibbs saw the struggle. "It is okay to be who you are, Tim. In fact, you are one of the best people I know. I am proud to have you on my team. I am proud to have been part of your growth and development as an agent. I am proud of you."

Tim lost the battle as tears slowly came down his face. He turned away from Gibbs.

"Hey, don't be ashamed. Tears are not a sign of weakness."

Tim shook his head, afraid to speak.

"Just because the three of us are not brave enough to be honest with ourselves and let tears show once in a while, does not mean you are any less of a person because you can."

Tim shook his head again, but the tears kept coming. Gibbs moved his hand from the back of Tim's neck to now rest on his far shoulder. He pulled Tim towards him. "If you parents couldn't see past themselves, then that is their failing, not yours. I know it will take time, but you need to erase everything they ever taught you about yourself."

Tim stayed silent. He didn't even move except for the small movements of his shoulders while he cried.

Gibbs rode it out with him.

When McGee had settled, Gibbs tried to look him in the eyes, but Tim wouldn't lift his head. He sighed, patted Tim's leg then left him to get ready for his day.

Ziva was waiting outside the bedroom door.

"How much did you hear David?"

She did not try to lie. "All of it. I came up right after you. I cannot believe his parents would treat him like that! Even my father pretended to care, even if it was just to get us to do what he wanted."

"Ziva ..."

"It is not right Gibbs! How is it that someone like McGee did not have the childhood we all thought he had ... loving and caring and supportive!"

"Ziva ..."

"He deserves so much better! He ..."

Gibbs reached out and pulled his second surrogate daughter into an embrace. "It will be alright Ziva. For him and for us."

Ziva did not cry, but she did allow herself to draw strength from Gibbs. They stood there for a few moments until she felt more composed. "Thank you, Gibbs."

He smiled at her, let go of the embrace and pulled her along with him. "Come on, let's get some food."

She hesitated as her gaze never left the bedroom door.

"He'll be alright. Come on, business as usual."

She paused a moment more, but when Gibbs gave another tug, she went with him.