A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who, reads, follows and comments. This is a short chapter, but I wanted to post something. This chapter gets a little dark, but I wanted to explain why neither James nor Rose like Lexie. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice; all rights belong to Jane Austen.
Ch. 28
The pain was excruciating, she needed him to hold her. "John! I need you to hold me please!" She said through clenched teeth.
"I know Lexie, but I have to drive to the hospital."
"No! Please, we can't. I don't like hospitals."
"I'm sorry darling, but I have no choice."
"Please I just want you to hold me, everything hurts." She was visibly shaking, looking pale.
He stopped the car and kissed her grabbing her wrists; she calmed at his touch. "Hold on ok? We'll be there before you know it."
Tears started to fall from her eyes. She couldn't wait, she hated the pain; it seemed to bring back old wounds she didn't realize she had. "Please just hold me, I need you to, I won't make it." She said as calmly as she could.
He sighed, he didn't know what to do, she obviously needed him to hold her, but he had to get her to the hospital. She looked pale and the shirt she was holding was already soaked in blood.
"Lexie I need you to be strong, ok? We'll be at the hospital in no time." He said as his forehead rested on hers.
"I can't-I feel-l like I'm-falling apart. I need you to hold me."
"Lexie I have to get you to the hospital." He started driving again and she felt cold.
"At the next road, turn it'll take you to the Bingley's….ask Will to take us please please please." She said trying not to cry. He couldn't deny her this.
Five minutes later he was pulling up to the driveway. He went to ring the doorbell and a surprised Charles answered the door. He asked for Will and Charles invited him inside, he declined. Charles went to get Will who was even more surprised to see him.
"Johnathan, what's wrong is it Lexie?" He asked worried.
John cringed that he called her Lexie, but he couldn't think about that right now. "Yes, I need you to drive me to the hospital."
Will looked at his car and then at John, he paled when he noticed he had dried blood on his shirt. "What happened?" He demanded.
"I'll explain in the car, just please, Lexie needs you to do this." He said with his voice quivering.
"Let me just go get my wallet." He ran to his room and grabbed his phone, keys and wallet. Charles asked him what happened and he said he would explain later.
When he got the car, John was getting into the backseat. He turned and saw Lexie shaking and ghostly pale. He got into the driver's seat and saw the passenger seat had blood. He turned to look at Lexie again. Her right leg was covered in blood, along with her shirt and she was holding a piece of cloth covered in her blood. John was holding her, whispering in her ear and massaging her back.
He started the car and took off. "I don't know where the hospital is." He said frustrated.
"Then why did you agree to take us." John asked as angrily.
"Because you said Lexie needed my help." He argued back.
"PLEASE! Do not fight; the hospital is in the city, heading towards Anne's a little after downtown." Lexie said breathing heavily.
"Lexie what happened?" Will asked.
"I went into the house, I was leaving and Rose stopped me, I had to stay for dinner, but I didn't want to. James-I should have known he was up to something. He let me leave, but I forgot something. I went back and he was in my room." She paused to take deep breathes. John was holding her tightly and she felt safe in his arms, the pain wasn't as evident.
"He was taking down my pictures and frames. He said that he could do whatever he wanted with them because it was his house. He broke several of them on purpose. I went to stop him and he struck me twice." She sobbed, "Luckily Lizzie stopped him; I think he would have done worse."
"Lexie you're heavily bleeding, I think we're past him doing worse." John said frustrated.
He didn't want to hear anymore, it was his fault she was hurt. He let her go back into that house, when he had told himself he wouldn't. She comforted him, angering him further. He was supposed to be comforting her.
"He told me to clean up or I wouldn't be allowed to leave. I was going to tell John to wait and get the broom and he got angry. He grabbed me and threw me on the floor. I fell on the broken glass."
"Why didn't you call the police?" Will seethed.
"Lexie wouldn't let me; as too why none of them didn't do it, I couldn't say."
Arriving to the hospital, Lexie was still trying to push everything she was feeling deep, deep down. John hadn't let her go and she was sure if he hadn't been holding her all this time the pain would have been too much; both physically and emotionally.
She panicked when she was placed on the gurney and started wheeling her into the room. They had pushed him back as they tried to asses her injuries, but she went hysterical and they let him hold her.
Will was waiting in the lobby and a while later he saw Anne, Hurst and a man who looked like a lawyer walk in. Anne's eyes were bloodshot and Hurst was raging mad. Anne saw him and came running up to him, hugging him tightly. She started asking all of these questions and he didn't really have any answers. He was frustrated, he felt useless again, all he could do was tell them, what Lexie told him.
After waiting more than an hour and a half, John came out to the lobby and took them to her room. He was in his undershirt and there was not as much blood on it. They entered and Lexie was sleeping in the only bed in the room. She had a breathing mask on and all these wires were connected to her, her heartbeat the only noise filling the room.
"John! What happened? I thought she just fell on glass." Anne said walking up to Lexie, too afraid to touch her.
"She was too hysterical as they pulled out the pieces of glass that were embedded in her skin. The doctor had to sedate her, but because of her medication, they have to monitor her breathing and heart rate. Luckily she did not lose too much blood."
"Why weren't the police notified?" Mr. Hurst asked.
"She refused to let me call them. I did not want her to stress over this more. Please tell me there is something we can do?"
A man knocked on the door and entered with a woman. "Hello this is Mr. Taylor and I'm Ms. Lincoln, we're from CPS. We'd like to ask Ms. Bennet a few questions."
"She's sleeping at the moment." Mr. Hurst answered.
"Very well may we speak to…Mr. Drake." She said looking at her notepad.
"I'm sorry I'm Richard Hurst, I am Ms. Bennet's attorney. May I ask who notified you?"
"It is the hospitals responsibility to report abuse."
"She fell on glass how does the hospital get abuse from that?"
Everyone looked stunned, of course it was what happened, but why was he denying it?
"Well the big hand print on her forearm, shoulder and face may have been a telltale sign." She replied. Everyone's blood was boiling but all kept their cool demeanor.
"Be that as it may none of us know what happened and no, you cannot question Mr. Drake."
"Very well we will return and you can be assured that we will. We looked at her medical record and this is not the first time something like this has happened to Ms. Bennet."
Mr. Taylor looked at Ms. Lincoln like she said something she knew she shouldn't have but did not say anything.
Once they left the room, Mr. Hurst explained that if Lexie went to child services, she would most likely be placed in foster care. The best thing to do was for Lexie to get emancipated from her parents of for someone to adopt her. Emancipation was what he was going to recommend.
Lexie woke up a while later feeling groggy. Emotionally she felt empty, nothing; physically she felt nothing, but a hand gripping her wrist. She tried to open her eyes but she couldn't and she tried to free herself. She felt kisses on her face and heard John's voice telling her it was all right. He said that Anne, Hurst, Will and Mr. Hurst were in the room. She felt a small trembling hand on her forehead followed by a kiss. Anne. She felt water hit her face.
She felt a bigger hand on her neck and a kiss on the top of her head. Hurst. She tried to open her eyes again and she was met with John's eyes. She smiled up at him, but he looked so sad. She was going to cup his face but her hand was covered in a bandage.
Everything came back to her and she saw her eyes gloss over. She looked around the room and saw Anne, Hurst and Mr. Hurst. She was confused, Will drove them here and John said he was in the room. She looked at the door and saw Will. He just sat there staring at the wall, refusing to look at her.
She had to tell Mr. Hurst what happened, at first she was upset that Hurst involved his father, but she understood that she needed to do something. She didn't and would not go back to that house. He explained that getting emancipated was the best option and told her what she would be required to do. All she wanted were her belongings, including all of her paintings and pictures, Aries and her awards. He asked if she had any family she could stay with and Anne told him Lexie would be staying with her. Before he left, Mr. Hurst advised her not to speak to CPS.
James silently sat in his study, staring at the picture he always kept locked away; not that he needed to see it. The only light was coming from the curtain he hadn't closed all the way. He drank the whisky in his tumbler in one gulp, it burned his throat as the warm liquid made its way down.
He stared at the picture again. They looked so much alike. It was as if Lexie were a copy; a ghost. That's what she was, the ghost of his love. Ashley Burton. He thought back to when he met her. She was his coworker; he would go in early and stay late just to spend more time with her. Rose didn't notice or care, she was too busy shopping and taking care of Jane.
Her smile, that is what he remembered the most, he loved her smile. They were put on an assignment together and quickly got to know each other. One thing led to another and soon they were having an affair. He fell in love with her. She was smart, funny, beautiful, and she loved him.
He still remembered the last time he saw her. His anger got the best of him. She told him she was pregnant and he accused her of doing it on purpose. She told him she was on birth control. She asked him to leave Rose, to choose her and their baby, that she loved him with all her heart and soul; she needed him and couldn't live without him.
He snapped and he struck her. He will never forget the look in her eyes. Her green eyes Lexie's eyes. He came clean and told Rose everything. She cried for hours and they made love for the first time in a long time resulting in Lizzie's consummation. Back then he believed himself to be in love with Rose. She had some money and was very beautiful, plus they already had Jane.
The next day Ashley resigned and he didn't hear anything from her until after Lizzie was born. He was being a faithful and good father until they came and ruined it. He was tucking Jane in when he heard the doorbell ring. It was already late and he ignored it. As he was locking up he heard faint crying. He thought it was Lizzie and went to check on her, nothing. He went back downstairs to get a bottle and he heard again. He followed the noise and it led him to the front door. He slowly opened the door and on the floor was a basket and she was in it still crying.
He brought her inside and gave her the bottle in his hand which she drank quickly. There was an envelope in the basket in Ashley's handwriting. The babies name was Alexandra Bennet; she was born two days after Lizzie. Ashley didn't want her; she wanted nothing that would remind her of him. She called him a monster, yet she was the one demanding money in exchange for silence. He knew then he would comply, she had pictures of them together and she threatened to expose them to the company; inner office relationships were forbidden and anyone caught in one would be fired with a black mark on their record.
Lexie started crying and Rose came downstairs; the look on her face, she was half expecting to see someone else. He explained what was going on and it was her idea to say that she gave birth to twins. They decided to move to a different city, where no one knew them. They ended up in the country and he relocated at work, but Ashley found him, still demanding money. She even sent him copies of the photos.
About a year later, he got a package in the mail. It was waiting for him when he got home. It was from Ashley so he took it to his study. He cried as he read the letter over and over. The package included a baby photo album of Lexie with pictures of Ashley, all the money he sent her was in a savings account for when Lexie was 18, which only she could access. But the worst part of it was the letter saying that she was going to take her own life because of him. A couple of days later he saw it in the obituaries and he went to her funeral, apparently she had been struggling with depression for years. Her family thought that she had gotten better around the time their affair started. She disappeared for 10 months and came back but no one knew about Lexie. He heard people saying this hadn't been her first attempt at suicide. He remembered crying for days, it was his entire fault.
He could never love Lexie; she was a constant reminder of what he did to Ashley and what he did to Rose. He remembered the look in Lexie's eyes the day she got lost, it was the same look Ashley had the last time he saw her. He snapped and he struck her across the face. When Rose came home without her, he felt as if he was losing Ashley all over again.
He never meant to hurt Lexie so badly but she reminded him to much of her. Her eyes. All he wanted her to do was speak, anything and that damn look in her eyes. He always eventually lost control; Ashley still haunted him.
Last night when Lexie came out, he stopped breathing. She was beautiful, the spitting image of Ashley, it was as if her were back in time. Her smile, he had never seen Lexie smile before and it angered him. She had a beautiful smile and she never shared it with him. It angered him that he would never see Ashley again; it angered him that Lexie was an embarrassment and embarrassed his family, a family she was lucky to be a part of. He could have just left her at the hospital and still pay Ashley. She would have never known.
He went too far this time and he knew it. He didn't mean to throw her on the glass, it just happened. That look in her eyes. He downed another cup of whiskey. He had to go back out there, he had to make sure everything was in order for tonight.
As he headed towards his room, he heard Lizzie crying….
"What did that lady mean when she said this wasn't the first time something like this happened to her? Lexie told us the worse that ever happened was the spankings." Anne said through labored breaths, looking between John and Hurst.
"She told me the same thing." Said Hurst and they both looked at John.
"I'm at a loss myself. She told me the same thing." He sighed heavily. "She told me she hadn't remembered being hit, until the nightmares she had and that Darcy and I fighting, because of her brought back some memories."
"Nightmares? She never mentioned nightmares." Anne said quietly.
"She never told me what they were about, just the first one. But she has had them for the last two weeks, except last night."
"Do you think she remembers now?"
"It's hard to say, she's going to stay the night and I'm going to stay with her. Her state of mind tomorrow will determine if she stays another night or not."
"Will you haven't said a word since we came in here."
"What is it that you would like me to say?" He asked tersely. He still couldn't look at Lexie it reminded him of Georgie.
"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you're still with us." She and Hurst laughed quietly.
"What's so funny about that?" He asked failing to hide his temper.
"When Lexie would have a bad day Anne would always say 'Lexie you haven't said a word all day."
"To which Lexie would reply 'What is it you'd like me to say?' and Hurst would give her the same answer I just told you."
A huge smile came on Hurst's face. "She'd say 'Of course I'm still here, I mean you see me right?" His smile fell and Anne came to give him a hug.
Lexie felt someone caressing her forearm. She opened her eyes and saw John looking at her hands with tears in his eyes. She glanced around, Will was still by the door and Anne was sitting on Hurst.
John felt her move and looked up, brushing away his tears. He quickly stood up and kissed her forehead. She took off the mask and kissed him on the lips.
She winced from the pain coming from the left side of her face.
"How are you felling?"
She scrunched up her face. How can I answer? Ashamed, hurt, horrible, drained, hated, pain? "How are you guys holding up?"
"Lexie, don't worry about us." Anne said.
"Of course I'm worried about all of you, you're stuck in here instead of enjoying this lovely Saturday."
"There is no place we'd rather be, my Little Bee." Hurst told her.
She gave them a small smile and nodded her head. She felt tears falling, she was loved. "Hurst I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you for what your dad is doing, but I promise I'll find a way."
"Lexie, you don't have to repay me and as for my father he has already been paid."
"What! What do you mean?" She sat up. "You are not paying him are you John?"
"No, he didn't I did, look Lexie do not worry about it, just get some rest." Hurst said looking down.
"What do you mean do not worry about it? Now tell me please."
He sighed and looked up at her. "I told my father that if he helped me, you, then I would go to school to become a lawyer and join his empire."
"No! You can't do that! Not for me, tell him to forget it, I'll figure out another way. Please don't do this for me." She started to cry causing a monitor to start beeping and Hurst came up to hug her.
"Shh, calm down Lexie, you need to calm down. I had already decided long before this happened that I was going to become a lawyer. I just waited for the opportune moment to tell him."
"Bu-but what abo-out pho-photo-graphy?" She asked trying to calm down.
"Already negotiated into the agreement, so you see I'm a natural born lawyer." He chuckled.
"I love you Stanley."
"I love you too Alexandra. Now get some more rest and I'll bring you some food."
"Burger, fries and a chocolate milkshake?" She said through sniffles.
"With cheese and no onions." He added in and kissed her on the temple. He handed her over to John and she soon fell asleep again.
Anne and he were leaving to get the food and offered to drop Will off. No one was in the mood to talk but after 15 minutes of silence, Will finally spoke startling Anne and him.
"Why do you call her Bee?"
"Blind Melon, No Rain." He said smiling at a fond memory.
"Is that a book?"
"No it's a song; you'd have to watch the video. If it's not Lexie's favorite song, it's up there. It suits her well she says. *It's about depression, but finding beauty in simple things, dreaming of love, staying true to yourself and overall hoping that someone will come along and love you for who you are. Like in the video, a girl dresses as a bee, performs in a talent show and gets laughed at. She walks through the city meeting the same fate. At the end she goes into a field and finds a group of people dressed as bees, she is at home."
"I always thought it was because she dressed like a bee for Halloween." Anne replied.
"Yes, that's why she did it. Remember her dance?" They laughed at the memory.
"She said she didn't know how to dance."
"She does, she just doesn't know it." Anne said.
"She thinks she dances like Elaine." Hurst chuckled.
"Elaine?" Asked Will confused.
"Geez Will, do you live under a rock?"
"Anne, the woman from Seinfeld, you should look up that video too. The point is that was the first and only time I have seen Lexie dance and the first time we got to see her real smile. She's been my Little Bee since then."
The doorbell rang at 6 on the dot. James and Rose answered with smiles plastered on their faces. Jane, Lizzie, Kitty and Lydia stood in a row with sad smiles. They were introduced to one another and when Mr. Collins asked where Lexie was, the mood turned.
"She is with her best friend Anne De Bough-" Rose started.
"Oh yes, Mrs. De Bough is an excellent teacher. She is the best history teacher, she truly knows a lot and not just about history." Billy answered.
"She is just so fond of our Bill; she's taken him under her wing and is even going to write a letter of recommendation for him." Mrs. Collins beamed.
They parents made small talk while Bill dominated the conversation and all the girls tried no to look so bored. Luckily their father noticed and soon dinner came. Lizzie was forced to sit next to Bill and endure his talking again. Soon the night ended and the Collins invited them over for dinner tomorrow.
As she made her way to her room, she could hear Jane crying and knocked on the door.
"What's wrong Janey?"
"Lizzie how can you ask such a thing? After what happened today, I'm surprised we all managed to get through the dinner."
"I'm confused Jane."
"Lizzie! Dad hurt Lexie, I didn't think it was possible but he hurt her."
"Jane dad told me what happened and I know he lost control, but he was trying to keep Lexie from hurting herself."
"What how can you say that? He pushed her and she had blood all over her."
Lizzie went to hug Jane, "Lexie was mad because dad wanted her to spend time with us, as a family. She's never here you know, even when she is, it's like she's a shadow. He said Lexie ran upstairs and started to throw her frames on the floor. He said she picked up a piece of glass and he was afraid she was going to do something bad and he hit her. That was when we walked in. He didn't push her hard enough to fall onto the glass; he thinks she might have thrown herself." Lizzie said solemnly.
Jane gasped. "Do-di-did do you believe him?"
Lizzie sighed "Yes."
"I guess we really don't know Lexie after all." Jane said quietly and hugged Lizzie while sobbing into her shoulder.
*This is an excerpt from a comment someone posted on Songmeanings, it was the first comment and I loved it, agreeing whole heartedly. I thought the song fit Lexie and how she would feel.
