Heaven and Hell
Chapter 1: Enter Celestial Being
Ron sat in his new cell on the CBS-70 Ptolemaeus.
"So, when the hell are they coming back with my book?"
The reason he was in that cell was that damned Haro that the Irishman called Lockon Stratos had.
He hated them with a passion.
Then the door opened.
A brown haired woman entered the cell.
"So, why did you shoot at Lockon's Haro?"
Ron snorted.
"Fraking things annoy the hell out of me."
"You've seen them before?"
Ron nodded.
"Made by a kid named Athrun Zala for his former girlfriend. Although, when I jumped me and the kid to this ship, I didn't see the PLANTs."
"PLANTs?"
"People Liberation Acting Nation of Technology: PLANTs. They're hourglass shaped colonies."
She looked confused.
"Damn it, I was hoping you were from the Junk Guild. Instead, I end up in another universe!"
"What are you talking about?"
"My Mobile Suit's got something called a Lightwave Shield. When Neo-GENESIS, a superweapon, hit the shield, it opened a hole in space-time. I'm no expert, but this ain't my universe."
"What's your name?"
"Colonial Corps of Engineers commanding officer Colonel Ronald Pinkerton. You?"
"My codename in Celestial Being is Sumeragi Lee Noriega, but you can call me Sumeragi, Colonel."
Ron stood up.
"Celestial Being? What do you think you are: angels?"
Sumeragi chuckled.
"Nice, Colonel. I've never heard that one before."
"You're lying."
"Nope, I'm serious! No one's ever said that!"
"So what the hell are you, mercs? I've got a song for you."
Sumeragi giggled.
"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no you didn't! Sucker tried to play me, but you never paid me, never! Oh no you didn't! Payback is a coming, you will be running, forever! Oh no you did! Until I get my vengeance, I will never end this mayhem! Oh no you didn't! I'm a mercenary, you ain't got a prayer, you owe me! Oh no you did! Oh no you didn't! Oh no you didn't! Oh no you didn't! Oh no you didn't! Didn't you, Oh no! You didn't pay me what you owe me... So now it's over for you! Oh no you didn't! First you tried to trap me, then you bust a cap in my ass! Oh no you didn't! Such humiliation will bring annihilation, at last! Oh no you did! It will be delicious, when I get vicious, tomorrow! Oh no you didn't! There's no second chances, you will do the dance of sorrow! Oh no you did! Oh no you didn't! Didn't you, Oh no! You didn't pay me what you owe me...So now it's over for you Oh no you didn't! Better watch your back boy, keep running This ain't just a game, I'll never stop coming I got my arsenal I put out the call And when I finish ya'll You'll be a rag doll. Fool tried to diss me, now you're gonna wish you were dead! Oh no you didn't! After I deliver, your blood will be a river of red! Oh no you did! Better beware, when no one's there to defend you! Oh no you didn't! So many ways to kill, it's gonna be a thrill to end you! Oh no you did! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no you did!" (AN: Oh, No You Didn't: song is from Mercenaries 2, sung solo by Colonel Pinkerton, minus the chorus)
"Stop it! We're-we're-"
She started laughing uncontrollably.
"Oh, Christ, that was funny."
Ron helped the laughing woman up.
"We're a paramilitary organization aimed at stopping war."
"Funny you should say that..."
"What?"
"In my universe, the 12 Colonies of Kobol virtually rid themselves of war, but fighting is in human nature: you can't remove it, so there are random fights between pirates."
Sumeragi smiled at the man.
"What?"
"You're closer then us to total peace."
"Like I said: fighting is in human nature: you cannot remove it. There will always be war, just on a lesser scale. I fight to keep the peace."
"So what happened to you?"
"As I'd like to tell this to your entire crew, I'd like this in a conference room."
Sumeragi took him to her quarters, where there at least was a seat.
"I'll get the Meisters. You stay here."
"Isn't that German?"
She looked at him.
"Yes."
"It means 'Master'. Are they your Mobile Suit pilots?"
"Gundam pilots."
"Where I'm from, they're both the same damn thing."
"I'll be back in a minute, Mister Pinkerton."
5 minutes later
When Sumeragi returned, Ron was drinking one of her vodka bottles.
The woman was horrified.
"You're a lightweight. My ambrosia would kill you. By the way, you're 4 minutes late."
She sat down, followed by a black haired Mideastern boy, no more then 15 years old.
"Who the hell are you?"
"Setsuna F. Seiei, Gundam Meister of Gundam Exia."
"You're the one that pulled me out of the atmosphere. Thank you."
Setsuna sat down. Nine more people entered the room and found a place to stand or sit.
"Ok, you want to know what the hell I'm doing here."
"In a word, yes."
"Ok. When I was 10, about 58 years ago-"
"You're 68 years old?"
"I age really slowly. As I was saying, 65 years ago, a man named Daniel Graystone created ultimate legacy: a robotic machine. Most people think of it like this: The Cylons were created by Man. They were created to make life easier on the Twelve Colonies. And then the day came when the Cylons decided to kill their masters. 12 bloody years of fighting nearly killed humanity. After an armistice was signed, no one heard from the Cylons for 40 years. Until 4 years ago. Then they killed billions of people. Quick question: what's the population of Earth?"
"A little over 12 billion; why?"
"Multiply that by 10 and that's likely how many people died."
"120 billion people? KSPA never killed anything close to that!"
"As I was saying, we had a Fleet of refugees, 55000 of them. I was one of the Viper pilots who defended Galactica-"
"Galactica?"
"The last Cylon War-era Battlestar; quit interrupting me, kid!"
The blonde girl shut up.
"Hey, you can't do that to her!"
A kid charged the older, combat seasoned Colonel.
Said Colonel son taught him that he had a hard head.
Literally.
The kid's hand broke when it hit the titanium imbedded skull.
While he was screaming in pain, he grabbed him, put him to the deck, face down, pulled on his arm, and brought his neck to the breaking point.
"War-era Centurions never survived this little trick, but human necks are tougher, so it might actually take some strength to snap your little neck, cockbite!"
"Stand down, Colonel!"
Ron let the kid's neck go.
"I'm not doing this out of you ordering me to; it's out of respect. However..."
He put his foot the boy's back, then pulled on his arm.
It popped out of its' socket, and he screamed in pain.
"Never said I couldn't do that."
"Lichty, are you alright?"
Ron chuckled darkly, scaring the shit out of everyone in the room. (AN: That includes alternate personalities: Hallelujah, mostly)
"Do you think he's alright? I dislocated his shoulder! Always hurts like a bitch the first time."
In Allelujah's head, the alternate persona gave the original host a warning.
'Stay away from him! He makes me look like an innocent baby!'
'I got that long before you told me.'
'For once, we agree.' "So, what else happened?"
As Lichty was taken to sick bay, Ron finished his tale with him leaving out deserting the Fleet and taking over most of Earth's military forces and fighting a final battle against the Colonial Fleet and her Earth based allies.
"You seem...darker then I imagined, Colonel."
Ron gave another dark chuckle.
"Fighting two wars, leaving one with a smashed skeleton that I had replaced with the titanium one that you all noticed-"
"One of us above all."
"And having over 100 billion people die because of the Cylons in the other one kind of does that to a person."
'That and finding the Colonial Earth, another Earth, among other things.'
"Your Gundam-"
"The ADF-X01 Morgan. Badass, isn't it?"
"It's damaged and useless."
"I'll let you repair it. As long as the fraking Haros stay far away from it."
"How do you-"
"I didn't; you just told me."
"We can't repair it without the blueprints, Colonel."
He chuckled again, only this time it was lighthearted.
"Well, lucky for you I designed it!"
"You designed that Gundam?"
"What can I say? I'm damn good at my job. I designed the first generation of Mobile Suits for the Colonial Fleet, and I designed the second generation of Battlestars. Now, let's get started."
5 hours later
"Shit! Your Gundam's the most badass I've ever seen! It takes all the strengths from the four Gundams we've got and raps them up in a small package!"
"Small for a Mobile Suit, you mean."
"What powers it? It can't be a GN-drive."
"It's got an Ultracompact Hyper-Deuterion Nuclear Reactor. It's safe, so don't worry. So, it's good to go?"
"Yeah, but that coating's a problem: I don't know what it does."
Ron chuckled at the engineer's cluelessness.
"Oh, the Mirage Colloid? It makes my Mobile Suit (or any equipped with it) invisible to radar and to the naked eye."
"I think the Exia and Setsuna will have something to say about that, Colonel."
"Then I can have a mock dogfight with the poor bastard. Then he'll learn why my callsign is Psycho."
"And why are you called that?"
The Colonial Colonel chuckled.
"I attacked an enemy capital ship with my old Mk. I Viper. Blew it up, got my new skeleton. Hence, Psycho: 'crazy man'. I met my old bird 40 years later on Galactica." (AN: It's a fact that an older Viper was seen in the miniseries, and in this case I reconned it into Ron's old Mk. 1 Viper)
Ron hopped into the Morgan's cockpit. Ron activated the OS.
'MOBILE SUIT NEO OPERATION SYSTEM General Unsubdued Nuclear Drive Assault Module G.U.N.D.A.M Complex _Series SD100-O9 SF/IJ 01-34157_C.D.F' appeared on the repaired screen.
"The hell's with the OS?"
"That's why some Mobile Suits are called Gundams: they use an OS using the word as an acronym."
Ron smirked as he closed the cockpit.
"While their technology is a little lacking in terms to the Morgan and Strike Freedom, this GN-drive intrigues me. I'll take a look through their database later."
"Morgan, takeoff for battle exercise."
"Ronald Pinkerton, ADF-X01 Morgan, taking off!"
The Colonel used his suit's natural thrust to launch from the Ptolemaeus.
"Ok, who am I fighting against?"
"GN-001 Gundam Exia, piloted by-"
Ron sighed rather loudly.
"Great, the fucking kid. Oh, well, time to go to work."
Updated 09/14/10
Lying for a living seems to fool even the great tactical forecaster (contradiction in terms, if you ask me) Sumeragi Lee Noriega.
At any rate, Ron's not exactly sane. In other words, when he was mentally ok, he could take on a Cylon War-era Baseship and barely survive, as shown in Descent to Hell. When he came back, he could then pilot a Mobile Suit like, say, the Strike. In short, the crazier he gets, the better his piloting skills get. Now he could probably kill both Kira and Cagalli in the Akatsuki and Strike Freedom. But now the two suits are getting upgrades: fighter transformations, to deal with Ron's experience as a Viper pilot.
Adama: "Well, Heaven and Hell's a hit now." Athrun: "How can it be a hit? It just got published!" Shinn: "People are reviewing and adding this story to their Favorites, Athrun." Athrun: "Wait, why are we the only ones here?" Adama: "Because the author's busy on the next chapter." Shinn: "And his other stories."
The guys have a point: I do have other stories.
This is a prototype of future BSG/Gundam 00 stories, like To Hell and Back was the prototype for all BSG/Gundam Seed stories. It serves as the inspiration for other stories like it. Next Time of Heaven and Hell: The battle between Ron's Morgan and Setsuna's Exia. Three guesses to who wins.
Ja Ne!
