-Justin-
After the interview was over it felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Despite my still nagging fear that one day he wouldn't want to be with me anymore in this moment I was so happy it was almost criminal. We went back to the hotel and decided to order room service and watch a movie while we waited for Michele and my mom to come by. As per usual we just ordered a bunch of junk food. We sat on the bed among a sea of brownies and ice cream and watched Zoolander. Right when we finished eating and had piled all of our trash back onto the cart we heard a knock. Austin groaned and gave me a kiss before going to get the door. I heard my mom say hello and decided I should probably get out of bed too. I walked out of the bedroom and right into a simultaneous hug from Michele and my mom.
"I'm so proud of you" my mom whispered into my ear and squeezed me tighter. Michele kissed my cheek before letting go, it took my mom longer to release her grip though. She kept telling me she was proud and she loved me, both things I already knew of course. When she finally did let go we sat down on the couch and just talked.
"So how have you guys been?"
"Not too bad, we uh… had a rough night after you guys left but, not too bad" I was kind of surprised at how forthcoming Austin was about that night.
"Why? What happened?" The panic in Michele's voice peaked and Austin tried to diffuse the situation.
"Nothing we can't deal with mom."
"Then what Austin?"
"He's scared that I'm going to wake up one day and not want to be with him anymore." He looked at me and I just looked down as I felt my face heat up and I knew I was blushing now. I was embarrassed beyond belief. I knew it was our parents but what were they going to think? We just came out, and here I am still scared to death of losing the one person I'd do anything for.
"Why do you think that?" Michele had leaned forward and placed her hand on mine before posing her question. I shrugged and mumbled an answer not wanting to face her.
"Justin Drew Bieber look at me." I did, mostly out of shock, I had never heard anyone outside of my family besides Jenn use my full name. Austin was squeezing his mouth shut so he didn't laugh. My mom however had no issues with showing how amused she was.
"Why do you think you're going to lose him?" Michele never looked out of my eyes, she was demanding and answer and I was feeling more pressured and embarrassed by the second.
"Because... well… it's happened before and… um… he deserves so much better…" I didn't look away from Michele, I didn't want her to get anymore cross with me than she already was. But I still kept my voice low.
"Stop."
"But it's happened…"She took my hand just like Austin always did before saying something serious and she leaned closer while looking deeper in my eyes.
"Justin let me tell you something, and you need to pay attention. If he didn't love you, if he didn't want to be with you and he wasn't absolutely certain of that, then he wouldn't have suggested doing what you boys did today. Now that took a lot of bravery, from both of you." I felt Austin take my other hand and I looked at him briefly before looking back at Michele. "Don't be so afraid because there's nothing to be afraid of. Just trust in him, trust in your relationship and everything will be ok. Alright?" I nodded shyly and she kissed my head before sitting back. Thankfully my mom changed the topic to the tour. Telling us they would be there tomorrow night and leaving Wednesday morning. They also informed us that Rocco told them that the only full week we were performing was last week. I thought that we would be doing the same thing over and over again for a year. Apparently though the first week was every day while the rest of the year would be 3 days a week. Alternating between Monday, Wednesday, and Friday one week and Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday the following week with every Sunday free. Admittedly it was a relief, it meant we had more time to ourselves. We ordered more room service, actual food this time, for dinner.
When we were finished Michele and my mom gave us each a hug goodbye. Michele took me off to the side though before leaving.
"Remember what I said Justin. I've never seen him as happy as he is with you and I mean that. Remember that please." I nodded and she kissed my cheek. "I love you kiddo"
"I love you too Michele." They waved on their way out and Austin turned to me.
"Sorry about that, I just thought they should know."
"It's ok, what she said helped but…I'm still…"
"I know hon, but it'll be okay, I'll make sure of it. I promise." I gave him a look that I felt accurately displayed my confusion. But he gave me a smile that told me he knew something I didn't and I couldn't help but laugh. I absolutely adored him in every possible way. Maybe Michele was right, maybe I didn't need to worry. I knew I still would be for a while but for the first time I really believed that as some point I wouldn't be scared.
-Austin-
We decided to have an early night and go to bed so we could just hang out in the morning before the chaos at the arena. We settled in and Justin fell asleep almost immediately after settling his head down on my chest. I laid awake a little while longer, thinking about how the day had gone. We were out, we were public and only time would tell what the repercussion would be. Neither of us had checked Twitter or Instagram today. Honestly I didn't even care right now. I loved performing but more so I loved Justin, and if the outcome of all this was that I never got to perform again then I was truly okay with that. Music had been my life, my world for so long but now that distinction belonged to him. I knew I'd do anything for him, I'd give him my last breath if it meant he would survive. I knew I would need to time to execute my plan to make sure he knew I wouldn't let him go. But that required time away from him, which I was now realizing would be limited to dressing time before shows. I fell asleep thinking of how exactly I would do that.
Eerily reminiscent of what happened only a few days before I woke up in a panic realizing Justin wasn't laying on me anymore. I could see out the window that the sun hadn't come up, it was still the middle of the night. But I could see Justin sitting up in bed, when he realized I was awake he turned to me.
"I'm sorry" I looked at him confused and planned to tell him it was alright but he continued.
"I love you so much…But… I feel like I'm broken. I've tried so many times, so many different ways not to freak out about this. I wake up every night, lay in your arms and just watch you sleep, wondering what I did to get so lucky. And that's inevitably followed by the crippling fear that I'm going to lose you. I know you keep telling me that I shouldn't be worried, that you're not like the other people I've dated but I'm so scared. I feel like a toddler that's afraid of the dark, I don't know why I'm so scared but I know that I am. What your mom said earlier made me feel a little better, but when I woke up tonight it all came back again."
"Justin I love you. I will never let you go. What do I have to do to prove that to you?" he just shrugged and surprisingly moved closer to me.
"I don't know. I know you think I'm going to leave you because I'm so scared but I won't."
"I know you won't."
"I wish I wasn't scared. I'm sorry this is becoming a recurring thing." I just shrugged as sat up kissing him.
"I don't care really. One day soon though you'll wake up and you won't be scared."
"I don't think…"
"I promise Justin, with all my heart." I cut him off and he gave me the same confused look as before. Like he was trying to figure out how exactly I was going to make everything right. When I finally convinced him to go back to sleep I made sure to hold him as tight as I could without squeezing him to death. We both fell asleep again and the next time I woke up was in the morning when the sun started creeping into the room.
He was still in my arms though he had turned towards me at some point and was now awake. Neither of us said anything we just laid there looking into each other's eyes. The way the growing light shone off his skin and made his eyes sparkle brought a smile to my face. He looked like an angel and I didn't want to move, but I knew we had to. Max would be picking us up in a few hours to go to the arena. So begrudgingly I told him he had to get up. He nodded but didn't move and I just laughed.
"Oh come on, ten more minutes won't hurt." I shrugged knowing he was right, and I certainly wasn't going to complain. So we stayed where we were. It was like heaven on earth and I never wanted it to end. In this moment we were untouchable, every morning we were free from the panic this night before. One day there wouldn't be panic though. One day he'd wake up in the middle of the night and feel nothing but love. He was my world through and through and he needed to know that. I checked my phone after a while and realized we had been laying down not for ten more minutes, but for 45.
"We gotta get up now." He shook his head and refused to move. I couldn't help but laugh. He looked like a lost little puppy.
"Trust me I don't want to move but we have to take a shower and get dressed. Max will be here in less than an hour." He sighed and got up grabbing me by the hand, practically dragging me off the bed. He pulled me into the bathroom and started the shower before pushing me against the counter kissing me. Just when I started getting into it he stepped back and undressed getting in the shower. I stood there not too sure what to do before he poked his head out.
"Well we gotta hurry right, so get in then it'll take less time." He punctuated that statement by sticking his tongue out before pulling his head back in. I quickly undressed and joined him, I wasn't about to argue with his logic. I got in and kissed him immediately. He pulled me closer by wrapping his arm around my waist. I reached around him and squeezed his butt causing him to breathe in sharply and bite my bottom lip. I walked him back and pushed him against the tile, pulling his head to the side while I kissed and bit on his neck. He started bucking his hips and moaning. I decided now was not the time to tease him and dropped down to my knees. I took his dick in my hand and took all of him. He moaned and put his hand on the back of my head. I swirled my tongue around and moved my head back and forth. Using my other hand I reached between his legs and squeezed his ass again. He took hold of my head and started moving his hips back and forth until he found a good rhythm. In no time at all he was choking out words in between moans.
"Ohmygod…Austin…I'm gonna cum." I didn't let up until I felt him bust in my mouth. Admittedly I was hesitant but if he could do it so could I. I got up and kissed him, I didn't know how the show was going to go but I knew tonight would be fun.
