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Chapter 29
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After her night had been packed with nightmares of Dabi and Chisaki, Y/N hadn't been looking forward to going on a 'date' with Kaminari the next morning, but she couldn't break her promise, and she couldn't take it out on Kaminari either. He'd been such a good friend to her, and she really wanted to meet his high school friends—she just wasn't sure she'd be the best company.
Even so, she'd woken up early, and taken the bus to the address Kaminari had sent to her. Strangely enough, Chisaki had left early in the morning. For some odd reason, he'd been leaving during the weekends, which he didn't use to do. Y/N knew better than to question what he was up to—probably something she shouldn't be sticking her nose into.
The place Kaminari had chosen for them to meet up at was about forty minutes away from UA, and twenty away from One For All. It was a small café that was adjacent to an arcade and opposite of some kind of festival people were having. Y/N wasn't sure what the theme was or the reason why they were having one during one of the coldest days of the month.
Y/N tugged her jacket closer to her body. The streets were crowded, but at least the flow of the crowd was directed towards the festival and Y/N could easily maneuver her way around them.
Glancing around, Y/N regretted wearing such light clothes. Compared to others, who were walking down the sidewalk, she was underdressed. She'd thrown on a maroon turtle neck that had an opening right above her chest, and exposed more skin that she was comfortable with. She'd matched it with a black skirt that reached her knees, but was sucking the air out of her. She'd gone with boots at least and had managed to find an okay looking black jacket to throw on top. But it wasn't very thick, so she could feel the winter breeze against her skin.
Y/N shivered. She'd had no other option than to wear such an outfit. She didn't have any other presentable clothes and Kaminari had texted her to look 'cute.' She didn't have the vaguest idea what that even meant. Y/N had thrown on the first thing she thought looked good, had even fixed her hair in an updo that had her curls cascading lower than usual and smacked on some mascara, eyeliner and gloss. Kaminari really didn't make her life easy either.
Y/N brought her hands to her mouth and blew into them to make them warmer as she walked. It was close to ten in the morning, but the sun wasn't out and the skies were murked by dark clouds. The wind whistled passed her ears and her lashes fluttered again the breeze. Her cheeks had turned a rosy pink, but it wasn't just because of the cold anymore.
As Y/N approached the small café, she put on her best smile she could when she spotted Kaminari. He was wearing jeans and a large black coat with dark buttons aligning some of the sides. He was typing something on his phone, but when he noticed her he smiled and waved at her.
But Y/N wasn't looking at him. Her gaze had turned to the others standing beside him. Her mouth gaped open in surprise when she saw familiar faces. There was some small guy with purple hair Y/N didn't know, but Uraraka was beside him with a cozy jumper and oversized coat. Midoriya was to her right in a black sweater and jeans.
Y/N's breath caught in her throat when her eyes landed on Shoto. He was holding his phone in one hand and a carry out tray with what looked like two coffee's in them. His soft hair was disheveled in a natural way, he wore a dark jacket with a white shirt underneath and a pair of black jeans. His face was muffled into a dark red scarf he had around his neck. His eyes were as piercing as ever, but they contrasted against the slight rosy pink shade his cheeks had taken over. The slight bruising on his face was almost completely gone.
Y/N came to a stop in front of them. Was it just her or did Shoto's eyes just scan over her?
"Guys," she breathed, white puffs left her mouth. "What are you doing here?"
"They heard I'd asked you to come with me and meet up with some old friends," Kaminari explained—he had a defeated look in his face. "So, they decided to tag along."
"Admit it, Kaminari. You were just trying to show off Y/N to Mineta." Uraraka teased the blond with a jab of her elbow.
"Mineta?" Y/N glanced at the purple haired boy she'd noticed earlier. She had to crane her neck down. He was really short and wearing a very odd combination of colors; yellow jeans and a purple sweater. "I take it that's you?"
"Minoru Mineta at your service. I'll do anything you want. Anything." He was giving her a once over and his black eyes had a different type of hunger in them. Y/N took a step back.
"It's nice to meet you," Y/N gave him a strained smile. She could see him staring at her breasts. "You can just call me Y/N. I take it you're Kaminari's old friend?" she looked around them. "Where's your date?"
"She left me," Mineta cried wildly. "She saw one look at me and—"
"Chill out dude," Kaminari scolded. He turned to Y/N. "She wasn't able to make it, but luckily these guys showed up, so it won't be just us three anymore." Was that sarcasm she heard in his voice?
"When Shoto mentioned you would be meeting up with Kaminari, I had a vague feeling who he was meeting up with," Uraraka said wearily. Shoto has mentioned something…? Y/N glanced over at him, but his gaze was as passive as ever. Uraraka looped Y/N's arm with her own. By now, Y/N had gotten very used to Uraraka being a very touchy person, but she still had to count her breaths in her head to calm down and remind herself it wasn't Chisaki. "So, I called Deku-kun and convinced them both to come along. There was no way I would leave you alone with these two."
"Why…?" Y/N started, but Midoriya shook his head. She didn't want to know.
"That's not fair!" Mineta tried cutting in. "What's so wrong about her meeting me?"
"We haven't done anything!" Kaminari defended.
"You look awfully cute today, Y/N." Uraraka teased when she noticed the slight makeup on Y/N's face, ignoring the purple haired boy and their yellowed eyed friend.
"I would say smoking hot," Mineta whispered loudly, but Kaminari shoved him behind him.
Choosing to ignore Mineta's comment, Y/N blushed. "Thanks."
"Aren't you cold, Y/N?" Midoriya gave her a worried glance as he took her outfit in. "We should head in or you'll catch a cold."
"Actually, the cafe I was talking about is actually a few blocks away," Kaminari gave them an apologetic look. "I have a friend that works there and she wanted to meet you. I hope you don't mind the walk."
Y/N did mind. She was freezing, but she shook her head and smiled at him. "It's okay."
Kaminari and Mineta took the lead as they started walking. She swore she heard Mineta ask Kaminari for 'measurements,' but Y/N decided to ignore their conversation.
"Let's go," Uraraka winked at Y/N and pulled Midoriya by the arm as they walked after Mineta and Kaminari. Y/N took it that the reason why Uraraka and Midoriya were being so chummy with Kaminari's friend was because they knew Mineta from high school too.
Y/N blushed once she realized what Uraraka had done. She was going to be walking at the end, with Shoto. Alone.
The night before, when he'd dropped her off, she'd said her good nights, but they hadn't spoke much after he'd answered her question during the drive to her place. Y/N had many thoughts roaming around her mind that she wanted to get sorted out so she'd been very silent most of the time and Shoto wasn't someone who spoke freely of his own accord.
"Here."
Y/N turned to him. He was handing her one of his styrofoam coffee cups.
"It's cold," he continued as Y/N grabbed on to the drink. "The others drank theirs already. I thought you might want one too."
The heat against her numb hands felt wonderful, and Y/N smiled gratefully at Shoto. "Thank you."
Sadly, she wasn't a fan of coffee, but she wasn't about to discard Shoto's kindness by not drinking it. She brought the cup to her lips. Yet, instead of tasting bitterness when she took a sip of the drink, like she'd expected, she was greeted with sweetness and something creamy.
She veered back, and blinked in start.
"Uraraka said you weren't a fan of coffee," Shoto told her after he saw her shocked face. "I hope you like hot chocolate."
"I love it," Y/N breathed as she took another swig. "It's my favorite. Thank you, Shoto."
Shoto nodded at her and took a drink from his own cup, but not before disposing of the carton carrier in a trash can that had been leaning against a tree.
Y/N took a deep breath—the frigid air filling her lungs and then deflating. She kept the drink of hot liquid clasped between both hands. She glanced at Shoto. "I'm glad you guys came along."
Shoto turned to look at her. "It was Uraraka-san's idea."
Y/N hummed in acknowledgement and told him softly, "But I'm glad you're here."
Shoto stared at her with bewilderment and confusion etched in his sky and grey eyes. He spoke, "I was worried about who Kaminari wanted you to meet."
Y/N tilted her head slightly in confusion. "Why?"
"I had a feeling it was going to be Mineta," he explained quietly, making sure the small boy at the front didn't hear him. "He's a good guy. I saw him around when we were in high school together, but he can get very...handsy at times."
"Oh," Y/N blinked in awe. Had Shoto really been worried about her? He'd gone out of his way to bring the others to meet with her. Y/N didn't completely believe him about it being Uraraka's idea; he was the only one she'd ever mentioned about her and Kaminari's 'double date,' so she felt like he had at least a small part to do with it. Her heart flushed with gratefulness. The thought of anyone reaching out to touch her without consent, made her skin crawl; even if it was just in a friendly gesture.
Still, Y/N paused her thoughts once she realized something. Did Shoto know she didn't like being touched? Had he been paying such close attention to her?
Y/N shrugged those thoughts out of her mind. She couldn't start coming up with wild ideas. Her head wasn't going to be able to take it, and she trusted Shoto. He'd done nothing but prove himself to her.
"He seems like a nice enough guy," Y/N put in. "He's friends with Kaminari after all, but I'll watch myself."
Y/N sipped on her hot chocolate as they walked. A comfortable silence fell between them, and the proximity of the two became smaller. She could feel the heat radiating from Shoto. Every now and then his arm would brush against her own. For a second, she forgot about how cold she was and let herself enjoy the thought of him walking beside her.
When they finally arrived at the café, Y/N was impressed that despite it being small, and a bit crowded, it was cozy. Simply walking in made her feel comfortable. Her icy cheeks warmed, and her numb fingers defrosted.
Y/N was hit with a strong aroma of coffee beans, chocolate and hazelnut. It had her smiling wistfully, especially when she noticed the array of pastries lined behind a glass display window.
"Who exactly are we looking for, Kaminari?" Uraraka asked. Her eyes were twinkling as they kept shifting back to the pastries.
"Oh, she should be here." The blond replied. He took his phone out and scrunched his eyebrows. "I think she used to be part of your friend group, Uraraka." Kaminari turned to her. "Her name was Mina Ashido."
"Oh, Mina-chan!" Uraraka snapped her fingers in recognition. Meanwhile, Y/N had to make way to let someone in. They were in the middle of the entrance. They needed to keep moving.
"Ashido-san works here?" Midoriya cut in. "I haven't spoken to her much since we graduated high school. I do see her post a lot of pictures of sweets and cakes on social media. I guess her working at a café would explain it."
"Ashido blocked me as a joke when I got her number," Mineta put in with a shrug. "I guess she forgot to unblock me."
Y/N raised her eyebrows at his comment, but something told her it hadn't been by 'accident' that this Ashido girl hadn't unblocked him. She'd just met him, but Y/N could already tell what type of character Mineta was. That and he didn't hesitate to keep staring at her or Uraraka breasts every chance he could.
"Kaminari! Ochaco-chan! Midoriya! And is that Todoroki? Hey you guys!"
A pretty girl with short pink hair and caramel eyes waved at them as she walked out from behind the counter. Had she been there the whole time or had she been at the back? Either ways, Y/N was happy that they moved away from the door since everyone started shuffling towards the girl. She was wearing a blue shirt and black slacks. A white apron on top. She was smiling widely. For a second, the mischief glint in her eyes reminded Y/N of Emi.
"Mina-chan!" Uraraka met Ashido—Y/N assumed it was her—in an embrace.
"Why was I the only one you didn't greet?" Mineta exclaimed. Were those tears in his eyes?
"Because I didn't see you there," Ashido teased as she and Uraraka pulled apart. She turned to Kaminari and slapped his arm. "What took you so long? I've been waiting forever!"
Kaminari rubbed his arm and glared at her. "I texted you, but you never answered me, so I ended up going to the wrong café at first."
"Oops, my bad." Ashido gave him an apologetic look. "But I did text you back in the end!"
"Twenty minutes later!"
"Now, now, don't exaggerate." Ashido threw her arm over his shoulder and grinned at him. "You're here now, right?"
"Yeah, yeah." Kaminari shrugged her arm off. Y/N bit her lip from grinning. Was that a slight blush on her blond friends cheeks?
"Oh, Ashido-san," Midoriya cut in and nodded his head towards Y/N's direction. "This is Y/N. She's our friend. She goes to UA with us."
"H-hello," Y/N smiled shyly. "It's nice to meet you."
Ashido beamed at Y/N. "You're the girl Kaminari's been talking about? Y/N? No way!"
"Shut up, Mina." Kaminari elbowed her, but his ears had turned rosy pink. Y/N gave them a confused look. She wasn't sure what Kaminari had said about her, but from the looks of it he didn't want her to know. She'd save him the embarrassment.
"Kaminari and I work together," Y/N explained. "He wanted me to come meet some of his old friends."
Ashido hummed in agreement. She turned to the blond. "Let me guess, you tried to to play it as some friend date or something with Mineta?"
"How'd you know?" Mineta gasped, wide eyed.
Ashido rolled her eyes. "Because I know you guys." she looked around. "Where's your date?"
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Mineta scowled. "She ditched, okay? Let it go."
"Okay," Ashido raised her hands in surrender. "Calm down." She turned towards the others. "I am glad to see that you guys decided to tag along, though. It's been a while. I can't believe that Todoroki came too."
"We all decided to come together," Shoto answered back with a shrug.
"We hadn't seen a lot of Y/N recently," Midoriya continued. "So, we thought coming along would allow us to spend more time together."
"It's true," Uraraka agreed. "We miss her all the time. Especially, since we see less of her now due to her working at a different location."
Y/N stared at her two friends. They really were something else. It warmed Y/N's heart to know there were people who actually cared for her. Suddenly, guilt settled in her stomach. They'd missed her. They were her friends. She clenched her hand beside her. Yet, she…
"You'll have to explain everything over coffee," Ashido pointed at a small booth at the end of the cafe. "Let's take a seat and catch up! I can get us a discount since I work here!"
"Really? Yay!" Uraraka clapped her hands in excitement.
"That sounds great!" Midoriya had a twinkle in his eyes. His gaze kept shifting towards a tray of cinnamon rolls.
"Thank you," was the only thing Shoto said.
Y/N ended up sitting on the edge of the booth, Uraraka to her side, while Kaminari sat on the inside. Shoto was sitting in front of her, and beside him were Mineta and Ashido.
A giant glass window was to the right, and Y/N could see people walking up and down the street. The sky was still dark, but by the frost on the top edges of the window, she could only infer that it'd gotten colder.
"I'm on my lunch break right now," Ashido was saying. "One of the other waitresses should be here soon. Go ahead and start looking for what to order."
Y/N didn't have much of an appetite, but she still scanned through the menu. They had an array of desserts and a good number of drinks, but nothing compared to One For All's.
When the waitress came around to take their orders, Y/N ordered carrot cake. She hid her smile when she saw Shoto ask for a raspberry cheesecake. She really never expected him to have a sweet tooth.
"Are you not going to order anything to drink, Y/N?" Ashido asked her once their orders had been made.
Y/N shook her head and pointed at her half full hot chocolate Shoto had given to her earlier. "I'm good."
"I'd forgotten Todoroki-kun bought everyone coffee this morning," Midoriya pointed out.
"It was cold," Shoto shrugged nonchalantly.
"It was really nice of him," Uraraka grinned slyly at Y/N. That girl.
Y/N played with her fingers, and avoided eye contact with anyone. "It was."
Y/N gave her the stank eye when no one was looking, but Uraraka only smiled at her. "Wait, if I remember right, you all went to the same high school, right?" she strained, trying to change the subject without making it too obvious. "Why didn't you apply to UA, Ashido?"
"Oh, no." she laughed. "College isn't for me. I'd rather work here than to ever have to stick my nose in one of those boring textbooks. If I remember..."
Shoto caught Y/N's eye as Ashido continued to ramble on the reasons why she hated high school and why she decided not to attend college. Y/N gave him a small smile. His eyes were soft and he surprised her with a small upward quirk of his lips before taking a swig of his coffee. Y/N was dumbfounded for a second, but then her heart started beating a few beats faster. She took a sip of her own drink to hide her growing grin.
"...that's why I didn't." Ashido finished.
"At least half our class attends UA now," Midoriya informed. "The other half went to Shiketsu."
"Yeah, I go there." Mineta imputed. He was pulling fake strings from his purple sweater. Only then, did Y/N realize he was wearing a white scarf. His fashion sense sure was questionable. "It's supposed to be tied with UA on university rankings."
"I also heard they have certain departments that UA doesn't have," Midoriya put in. "Is that why you applied there?"
"Not exactly," Mineta had a wild look in his eyes. "I heard their cheerleaders wore tinier uniforms compared to UA."
"Of course you'd apply there for such a reason," Ashido deadpanned. "I shouldn't have expected for you to give a great excuse over why you chose Shiketsu over UA."
"It's a great reason!" Mineta argued.
"I chose UA because they have a great Arts department," Kaminari cut in. "And it helps you find a job when you graduate."
"That's a great reason, Kaminari." Uraraka beamed in. "I chose UA because it was so helpful with scholarships and they offered me enough that I don't have to work and study at the same time. And their sports department is very well known around Japan."
"Their business department is one of the best in the world," Midoriya gushed. "I want to become a businessman that's recognized globally; and for that, I had to attend UA."
"Was that the same for you, Todoroki?" Ashido pried. "I know you're father is a businessman too. Did he influence you?"
Y/N was expecting for Shoto to grow angry like last time when she'd mentioned his father, but all he did was play with the end of his styrofoam coffee cup. His gaze was even. "My goal is to become a businessman that grows on his own, rather than using and stepping on other people for his own benefit to make it to the top."
"Todoroki, Bakugo and Deku-kun all want to be huge businessman," Uraraka added. "That's why those three are always competing against one another."
"I get tired just watching you guys run around so much," Kaminari groaned.
"Bakugo went to UA?" Ashido raised her pink eyebrows in surprise. "Actually, I expected anything from him. He always managed to leave an impression in high school."
"I think he leaves an impression anywhere he goes," Uraraka stressed.
Midoriya shook his head. "We shouldn't talk about him you guys." He leaned in and whispered, "Sometimes I feel like he pops up out of nowhere."
"Bakugo was always really scary in high school." Mineta cut in.
Y/N coughed to stop herself from laughing. She could imagine Bakugo with his spiky hair running around scaring everyone around him. Kirishima probably had it rough. She made a mental note to treat him to something when she had some time. He was too good of a friend.
"I think that's the attitude we should all have," Ashido chirped, a smile on her face. "I'm glad that we all know what we're striving for." She turned to Kaminari. "And what are you planning to be?"
"As of right now I'm working at One For All, like I mentioned before," he started. "I'm trying to save money to pay for classes and afterwards I graduate I'll probably move back home and open a studio or something."
"Make sure to invite us to the grand opening," Uraraka cheered.
"As for me," Mineta began. All the girl instinctively braced themselves for his answer. Even Y/N shuffled a bit in her seat in discomfort. "I'll open one of the biggest swimsuit stores in the world—"
"Huh," Ashido said. "I thought it was going to be worst than that—"
"—so I can see girls walking around in their skimpy suits all day and I'll have a valuable excuse why this time!"
"—and there it is." Ashido glared at Mineta. "I thought you'd finally have something good to say."
"A swimsuit store isn't anything bad to want to accomplish." Mineta crossed his arms in indignation.
"It is when all you want is to stare at girls in their bathing suits!" Uraraka basically screeched.
"Whatever," Mineta grumbled. "I'm not about to give up on my dream." He turned to Y/N who'd been sitting there watching them all speak like a ping pong game. "What do you think, Y/N? Would you want to model in one of my swimsuits?"
Y/N had gone to take a sip from her drink, only to choke at his question. She started coughing.
"Ignore him, Y/N." Ashido exclaimed as she glared at the purple haired boy. "He's mindless."
"I'm not!" Mineta argued back. "That was a perfectly good question."
"I-I'm sorry," Y/N said, as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. She thought about the many scars she'd accumulated over the years, and the thought of wearing a swimsuit became sickening. She gave Mineta a strained smile. "I'm sure you'll find someone more suitable to help you with that in the future." Y/N went back to drinking her hot chocolate, avoiding everyone's gaze.
"But—" Mineta started, but was cut off when the waitress brought their order over.
Y/N stared at her carrot cake as everyone shuffled their orders around. Why? Why had she thought about her scars all of a sudden? It was an innocent enough question—she didn't have to make it so personal. She didn't have to bring Chisaki into this. She was out with her friends; this was her second world. Where she could be happy—
"Because I own you."
Y/N gripped the fork in her hand. That memory. Why? Why did she have to remember it right now? Right when she was out with everyone? No, she thought. Chisaki can't ruin my day. Not like this. Especially, when he's not even here.
"Whoa, Mina-chan!" Uraraka beamed with a mouth full of crepe. "This is so dwelicious."
"Right?" Ashido was sipping from her pink drink. She really had a thing for the color pink. "When I first started working here I couldn't stop eating their crepes. They're the best."
"The chocolate cake is pretty good too," Midoriya smiled as he ate a forkful of the delicacy.
"That cheesecake looks good too, Todoroki." Ashido gushed.
Shoto stopped mid bite to look at Ashido. "It is."
"Aren't you hungry?" Uraraka peered from beside Y/N to stare at her uneaten cake.
Y/N jumped slightly at her proximity. "I am, sorry. I was a bit distracted." She tried giving her a laugh as she took a bite from her cake. Somehow, it tasted like nothing and weighed like lead as it reached her stomach. She tried to hide her displeasure, but she could feel Shoto's eyes on he. She kept her gaze lowered.
"Anyways, Y/N." Ashido pointed at her with her fork. "You go to UA too, right? What made you apply?"
Y/N placed her fork back down on her plate. "It was close to my apartment," she replied without thinking her answer through.
Everyone, even Shoto was staring at her with an odd look on their faces.
"So," Ashido started slowly. "You only applied to UA because it was close to your house?"
Y/N squirmed under her stare. "It was very convenient and they had good scholarships for international students." Y/N cursed herself for not thinking her answer more thoroughly. She sounded so shallow.
"International?" Ashido raised her eyebrows in question.
"I'm from the states," Y/N explained, giving her a fake smile.
"Oh! I see." Ashido tilted her head slightly in wonder. "What department are you in at UA?"
"The science department," Y/N told her. Her hand had reached out and started playing with the edge of her butter knife. She never liked being the center of attention or being interrogated.
"Really?" Ashido looked impressed. "That's a hard department. You must be really smart."
"She is!" Kaminari suddenly cut in, while Y/N took the chance to recollect her thoughts. "She's helped a lot of us at One For All study for our tests."
"That's so nice!" Ashido beamed and turned back to Y/N. "I wish I had you when we were in high school. I always failed my tests." She leaned in. "So, who is it that you want to be?"
"What?" Y/N squeaked, not prepared for that question.
"Like, who do you want to be when you graduate UA?" Ashido continued.
"I—I want to—" But Y/N's mind had gone blank. What did she want to do? Who did she want to be? "I'm not sure yet," she decided to answer, but her heart was beating faster and suddenly she felt a great urge to throw her plate across the room.
"What? Really?" Ashido pouted. "I thought maybe you'd like to be a doctor. That's what a lot of the students in the science department want to do."
"You haven't told us what your future plans are," Shoto cut in. His eyes told Y/N he could sense her discomfort. She needed to thank him later.
"Well, as of now…" but Ashido's voice had faded into the background.
Y/N was thinking about what Shoto and the others had said about their future and why they'd decided to attend UA. She...she'd never known that about them. They all...they were all at UA for a purpose. They all had careers they'd planned to pursue. All Y/N had ever wanted was to free herself from Chisaki, she'd never planned farther ahead.
Had she locked herself so deeply into a bubble of 'happiness' that she'd blinded herself from reality? Even Shoto, who was dealing with something grave, had his future planned out.
For the first time since she'd met her friends, she could see the giant line that separated them from her very clearly. They weren't like her. She wasn't like them. She would never be like them. They were all living in a different world than hers.
She stared down at her hands, trying to breathe and calm herself down, but the more she thought about her friends and their future careers, the more—
"So, who is that you want to be?"
It was like something in Y/N snapped. That question. That was the question that had been roaming in her head since her encounter with Dabi, but she had no answer.
Shoto and all her friends had plans for the future. They'd all decided to go to UA to chase after their dreams, and yet…Y/N had only attended UA to escape Chisaki. She only started working at One For All to spend less time at home and to save money to move as far away as she could from him.
"Because I own you."
Why? Why were Chisaki's words coming back to haunt her? Dabi's face flashed across her mind and she recalled the conversation between the men in the private room speaking about taking a life like it meant nothing.
The sound of bullets piercing flesh ricocheted against her brain and she could smell blood. She was back in the alley, and the overwhelming sensation of wanting to shoot them was back. It was either kill or be killed.
Rei's anguished face ran across her mind.
Y/N was no different than them. Than Chisaki. She'd simply been running away. She'd never thought about her future. She didn't have a future. She was nothing. She simply...she simply…shesimply—
"Y/N!"
—wanted to disappear.
To die.
She jumped at the sound of her name. She was breathing hard, and her hands were trembling against the table. Everyone's eyes were on her—concern etched in them.
Y/N took a shuddering breath. She'd been too deep in her own world that she didn't catch them calling for her.
"S-Sorry," she tried smiling. "I got a bit distracted."
"Are you okay?" Uraraka's brown eyes were on her—scanning her. "You went pale."
Y/N tried laughing, but then felt a hand land on top of hers. She froze. Shoto was stopping her from gripping on to the butter knife—she hadn't realized how painfully hard she'd been squeezing it. His eyes were on hers, concern in them, and she felt like she couldn't breathe, because at that one moment she was farther away from him than she'd ever been.
Y/N tried speaking, but it was like someone was stepping on her windpipe. She couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe. SHECOULDNTBREATHE. Shecoudlntbreathe!
"Y/N," Shoto gripped her hand. His eyes searched hers, but she snatched her hand away and abruptly stood up.
"I need some fresh air," she declared.
"Wait, Y/N." Midoriya called out. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Y/N tried, but her hands were trembling against the chair as she tried to push it in. She was still holding on to the butter knife. She dropped it on the table next to her uneaten cake. "I need to—I just—I'll be right back."
"Y/N!" she heard Kaminari call out to her, but she was pulling her purse close and rushing out the café.
As soon as Y/N made it outside, she breathed in the cold frigid winter air, filling and burning her lungs in the process. She clutched her purse close to her as she started walking down the sidewalk. She needed somewhere quiet to think and to be far away from the others.
Somehow, tears had made their way into her eyes, blurring her vision, and started trickling down her cheeks. She wiped them with the back of her hand. She felt so lost. So confused. Why? Why was she feeling such a way? Why did thinking about the future make her feel nauseous and like someone had stabbed her in the heart?
It's because I have no future? She thought to herself. All I ever wanted was to be as far away from Chisaki as possible, but now...now that I have friends and now that I could maybe—maybe, have something with Shoto, I—
Y/N brought her hand to her mouth to keep from sobbing. Was she going insane? Or what Shoto said to her the other day, that she hadn't fully processed the incident with the men in the alley finally happening? Was she finally aware of the fear she should've felt that day? Was she finally feeling the guilt of shooting three men? Or had she simply forgotten what her life really was and the world was trying to give her a cold reminder?
Y/N stopped and slapped herself across the cheek as hard as she could. A few people stared at her, but she didn't care. The sting on her cheek reminded her that she was real, and that she needed to calm the hell down.
What was going on with her? What was this? Why couldn't she stop herself from crying? Why did she feel a burning sensation in her chest? Why did she feel like she was falling into a never ending hole of desperation? She didn't want to be like this!
She'd left her friends behind and they were probably worried sick about her. To worsen things, she'd probably scared Ashido and Mineta. What kind of person was she? What kind of friend?
A sudden overwhelming feeling had her running into a side alley between two buildings and puking her guts out. She hadn't eaten anything since the day before, so all she did was dry heave as she fell onto her knees. What kind of mess had she become?
"Y/N!"
Y/N flinched and almost started crying all over again. Of course Uraraka would've worried over her and chased after her.
She felt steady hands on her back. They started rubbing in circular comforting motion. Uraraka always smelled like peaches, and this time wasn't an exception.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" Uraraka whispered near her ear.
Y/N tried to speak, but then shook her head. She wasn't sure what to say.
"It's okay," Uraraka cooed. "Everything is okay. I'm here. Just breathe. Breathe."
Y/N wanted to do what she told her, but she felt like her chest was caving in itself and her lungs had been punctured.
"U-Uraraka," she finally managed to croak out.
Y/N turned to look at her, but her eyes widened when she saw a familiar silhouette behind her and before she could push Uraraka out of the way or warn her, he'd already made his move.
Uraraka groaned when she was hit in the back of the head with the butt of a gun. Her eyes rolled back, and she fell unconscious. Y/N cried out in horror as she reached out on her knees trying to catch Uraraka's motionless body.
"Uraraka!" Y/N cried in terror, shaking her friend, trying to wake her. "Uraraka, please wake up. Please."
"How the tables had turned. Remember when you attacked my friend like this? Good times." A deep voice called out.
He came out from the shadows and his features became prominent. Y/N's face grew pale and her heart started pounding when she recognized him.
"Remember me?" he glared at her as he pointed the gun right at her forehead.
It was him. The one with brown hair and shades. The one from the alley. The one she'd saved Shoto from. The one she'd shot.
