A/N: I DID IT! I got the chapter out within 2 weeks just like I said... but there are only around five chapters left of this story after this one... sadness. But there is a good bit relationship progression in this chapter for Jenna and John so if you want them to get together, I think you'll like this. If you don't want them to get together, I'm sorry. Anyway, please review and, as always, I hope you enjoy it.
Old Friends
Things only went downhill for Gotham, as they always seem to do in a crisis. In the wake of all the Blackgate Penitentiary prisoners being released, new mobs off all sorts were popping up like rabbits in the spring. Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot AKA the Penguin, who had been arrested during the time of the original Bat, had resurfaced and begun to build up as Mob of his own, as had many new mobsters like Black Mask and the Ventriloquist. However, one thing that the Batgirl was grateful for was that it seemed as though Bane was as focused on bringing them down as much as the rest of the former Upper Class of Gotham. This may have been due to the fact that many of them came from Upper Class families and as a result were overly wealthy, but the Batgirl was too busy and tired to really care about or comprehend Bane's reasons. Never the less, one thing the Batgirl was very thankful for was that, other than Crane, the Penguin, and a fair portion of the Mob's thugs, none of the major super criminals from the original Batman's days seemed to still be out and about. That is, so she thought, until one day she came across a person that she'd thought had died seven years ago.
It was a Thursday night. Just like any other night, there didn't seem anything out of the ordinary… at least when compared to every other night in Gotham for the past few months. That was, until the Batgirl spotted a group of men harassing a blonde woman with glasses in her thirties, carrying groceries and her young daughter's hand in her own.
"Hey mommy, why don't you come and play with us?" one of the thugs jeered.
"Excuse me boys, but didn't your mothers tell you that's not the nice way to get a lady's attention?" the woman said, maintaining her composure perfectly.
"And what are you gonna do Mommy? Spank us?" The woman just took off her glasses, set the groceries down and nodded at her daughter, who moved behind some nearby garbage cans.
"That's right pigs. And here's the paddle," she shouted, a Brooklyn accent suddenly adorning her words, as she took a baseball bat that was previously slung across her back and swung it around threateningly a few times. The men backed up a big in surprise, but they quickly recovered and started swarming again. One was stupid enough to lunge and received a a hit around the head with the metal bat for his troubles. Another charged only to get the wind knocked out of him and his jaw broken and another found himself curled up on the ground, holding an area that really hurt when hit. Batgirl raised an eyebrow under her mask. She was good. However, when the goons started to get a good deal closer to the woman and her child, the Batgirl thought it was best to step in. She dropped down on top of a man who had managed to get behind the woman, knocking him unconscious, and sending the attackers scrambling backward again.
"It's the Bat!" one screamed but was cut off by Batgirl's next punch to his jaw. The blonde woman look din surprise at her sudden helper but didn't question it as she dodged a punch and kick another bruiser to the dirt. The two of them continued to fight until all of the thugs were down, but before either of them could say a word, a high pitched scream. The blonde woman and the Batgirl turned on a dime to see the last ruffian standing was holding the blonde woman's daughter.
"Stop or I swear I'll kill her," he threatened and both of the women froze. However, before the brute could do anything the little girl twisted herself around, found the man's hand, and bit down hard. "Ah!" the man cried as her released the girl, who ran back to her mother. The Batgirl quickly punched the thug across the face and sent him sprawling to the ground. He tried to get up and run off but was quickly stopped by the blonde woman kicking him in a very sensitive spot and slamming his head into the pavement, knocking him out cold.
"That'll teach ya' to mess with me and my little angel!" the woman shouted, before she dropped down to her knees and held her daughter close. "Oh sweetie, are you alright?"
"I'm fine mommy." Jenna looked over the woman and froze. A blonde haired, blue eyed athletic woman in her thirties with an unmistakable Brooklyn accent. It couldn't be…
"Can we do that again mommy?" the little girl asked her mother, grinning madly in excitement. "I like this. This is fun!"
"Maybe later, but not right now Matilda." Matilda looked to be around six years old, with sandy blonde hair and brown eyes that were currently shinning with glee. Batgirl frowned internally. Harley's eyes were blue. But the Joker's… had Jenna trained one percent less in self-control than she had, then she probably would've collapsed at the realization. And the smile… the little girl had his smile too. Jenna forced a lump down her throat; she couldn't give anything away, especially not to former enemies, whether they were retired or not.
"Your daughter's cute," Batgirl commented. She really shouldn't be talking to her, but… she had to know for sure.
"Yep. And she's all mine."
"No father?"
"He died almost eight years ago." Damn.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." Jenna's stomach twisted uncomfortably, but she betrayed no emotion in her face. "It was hard at first, but I realized I was better off without him. The only good thing that ever came out of him was little Matilda here."
"Well, do you need me to walk you two home?"
"No I got it. I'm rooming with a friend and her kids. Come on Matilda!" Matilda smiled and the two of them started walking toward Robinson Park, Matilda skipping along and singing, "Over the river and through the woods to Auntie Red's house we go!"
"Jen? Are you alright? You look a little pale," came a familiar voice from somewhere in the distance but she didn't answer. Her mind was too focused on the smile, the brown eyes, the scars, the gun, the sound of a body falling and of the the Joker's last laugh, the blood on her hands that would never wash off. "Jen?" A hand gently shook Jenna's shoulder, snapping her out of her reverie.
"What?" she asked, looking at John Blake.
"I said you look a bit pale," he repeated.
"No before that. What did you call me?"
"Jen. I-is it ok if I call you that? Or would you prefer–"
"No! No, Jen's fine, it's just… no one's ever called me Jen. Always Jennifer, Jenna, Jenny, but… never Jen. It's different."
"Right, well, are you ok? You don't look very well… well, worse than usual I mean."
"How kind of you to say that," Jenna smiled sarcastically, turning back to the maps on the table and marking the reactor trucks' routes.
"It's true though, I mean, have you seen yourself? You're filthy, covered in cuts, bruises, stitches, and scars, and you look like you're dehydrated, starving, and about to collapse from exhaustion all at once."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to comment on it."
"Someone has to remind you that you have to take care of yourself too."
"I do take care of myself. I had a breakfast bar this morning."
"When's the last time you actually sat down and had a cooked meal like the rest of us though?" Jenna paused as she thought.
"Since before Bane came to town?" Blake raised an eyebrow.
"Ok, you're eating with us tonight and that's final."
"Don't I get a say in it?"
"No."
"You can't make me."
"I'm sure Bette, Helena and Dinah can."
"You forget who's teaching them."
"Well from what I hear, you're doing a very good job. Maybe even a bit too good." Jenna chuckled and shook her head slightly.
"I'm not going to be able to convince you otherwise am I?"
"You're not the only one who can be stubborn." Jenna smiled. She though about her friends, remembering everything they'd been through and how much they'd changed. Helena had gone from the vengeful girl behind the school to a woman dedicated to serving justice. Bette had gone from a being a rich, beautiful, competitive, and practically perfect Olympic level athlete with a fairly one sided view of the world to a kind, understanding young woman who refused to let anyone hurt the people she cared about, whether they be family or strangers. And slowly Jenna's mind drifted to her friends who were no longer with her. She, Angel, and Danny had met in preschool and it was there they promised they'd be together forever. The old Jenna would've wept at the thought of how easily broken their promise was. But this new Jenna just sighed and rubbed her head, trying to clear away the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm her. Those thoughts seemed to be occurring a lot more often as of late. Jenna sighed started to turn back to her work when she froze in realization. She could perfectly remember when she met every single individual who'd ever had a major impact in her life. But John… he remembered her, but she couldn't remember him before he'd shown up at Wayne Manor with the news of Gordon and Bane.
"John," Blake looked up from his work and turned to her. "This may be a bit of a weird question but… do you remember when we first met? At St. Swithin's I mean."
"Yeah. I do actually."
"… Can you tell me about it?"
"Well, Bruce showed up with the kind of car and girl you'd expect a billionaire playboy to have. But you… you took the bus down to the orphanage. You played hide-and-go-seek with some of the younger kids, you helped them look for lost toys, and even talked to one of the less social ones who would rather watch than play… like me." Jenna looked at him curiously. "I was just standing in the corner, watching the other kids play, and you came over and asked why I didn't join in. I said I didn't really feel like it and you simply smiled and said, 'I know that tone. And I can tell you that you'll never feel like playing or having fun unless you actually try to get out there and enjoy yourself.'" And then it hit Jenna like been whacked around the head with Harley Quinn's baseball bat.
"You were the boy from the corner," she muttered in amazement. John looked at her, stunned.
"You remember." She nodded.
"Yeah." He smiled slightly and she smiled back. "Well, hello again. It's nice to meet you."
"Hey could you two stop flirting for two minutes? We need help with dinner," Bette called from the kitchen of the apartment. Every night for the past few weeks, the four of them (five if Dinah chose to join them) cooked a meal to take to Gordon and his men, all of whom would probably forget to eat if they didn't have food shoved into their hands. The young vigilantes would then eat their portion and head out for the night, though Jenna had usually skipped eating, a decision that had been causing her to lose quite a few pounds and cause her stomach to feel as though it was constantly trying to devour itself.
"Right sorry," Jenna apologized, going over to help.
"Jenna, you were supposed to go to the grocery store today!" Helena called upon opening the refrigerator.
"Crap! Sorry, I just got distracted, and… ugh, never mind, I'll go now," Jenna muttered, grabbing her coat from off of a chair.
"Alone?" Blake asked her.
"I'll be fine Blake."
"But you can't carry all the stuff on your own."
"Alright fine, if you really want to go."
"It's better than waiting."
It was a rather uneventful trip to the grocery store, making things appear almost normal for a short period of time. Other than dodging and hiding from mercenaries and Tumblers, it was almost nice, having a simple walk along the streets of Gotham. Jenna and Blake arrived at the grocery store without incident and collected what they needed before heading back to their base. However, on the way back, the two young rebels stumbled upon a gang of young men, one of whom Jenna, unfortunately, recognized.
"Shit!" she muttered, jumping behind a dumpster.
"What?" Blake asked.
"I know him," Jenna explained, motioning to the blonde leader of the group.
"Who is he? An old boyfriend?" Jenna gagged in reply.
"God no. Old high school bully. I kicked his ass a few times and he hates my guts."
"What criminal in this city doesn't hate your guts?" Blake pointed out.
"Hush you. Come on, if we're careful we might be able to get by without being noticed." Needless to say, it didn't work. Jenna put her coat collar up, hiding half of her face and started to walk by quickly but stopped when she heard Jordan Hill say, "Well, well, well, look who we have here. Former Assistant District Attorney Jenny Dawes and… what's this? She's found herself a boy toy."
"He's not my boyfriend, Hill. Anyone with an IQ over 40 would be able to see that."
"Ah well. Doesn't matter. That's what it'll look like to the press in your obituary."
"Haven't you learned anything since high school Jordan?" Jenna sighed, rolling her eyes at her former classmate's stupidity.
"Yeah. I've learned that you and you family are a bunch of little liars and that the Joker and Scarecrow did the world a favor by getting a rid of them."
"Well you should've learned that provoking me is perhaps the stupidest thing you could do, Hill. Now why don't you and your little playmates run along before someone gets hurt."
"Why don't you make us?" he asked, as he and his little gang surround the duo. Jenna looked them over and shrugged.
"Alright then. John, hold the groceries," she ordered, handing him the bags.
"Why do I have to hold them?" he inquired.
"Because I'd prefer not to accidentally break the eggs when I break Hill's face." Hill then charged at her but Jenna just dodged his punch and elbowed him across the face before turning around and kicking him in the stomach. The four thugs in his gang stumbled back when they saw that, but quickly recovered. One tried to hit Jenna with a piece of wood but she simply grabbed it and hit him around the head with it. Another got in a punch Jenna's stomach and across her face before she grabbed his head and brought it down on her knee. She heard the sound of wood hitting flesh to find two thugs on the ground and Blake standing over them, holding what appeared to be a broken handle of a wooden broomstick.
"I thought told you to stay with the stuff," Jenna said.
"What no thank you?" Blake questioned somewhat incredulously.
"Right. Thank you. Now duck!" Jenna shouted. Blake did as he was told, barely dodging a punch from a thug behind him. The two continued to fight back to back, Jenna kicking and punching the thugs and ducking every now and then as Blake whipped his shaft around, knocking back the ones she missed. They continued until they were surrounded by four unconscious thugs. The duo then turned at the sound of a gun cocking and found Jordan Hill pointing a 9 millimeter at them. The two of them ran to the end of the alleyway, dodging the bullets that followed at their heels, and turned the corner. Jordan ran after them but was struck across the face with the end of John's broken broomstick handle and fell to the ground, unconscious.
"Not bad," Jenna smiled, nodding slightly at Jordan Hill's unconscious figure.
"Not bad yourself," Blake grinned back.
Jenna looked at her hands, now covered in blood from the broken noses and mouthfuls of blood she'd given the now unconscious goons, and felt memories resurfacing again, memories that had always seemed near the surface but were now being brought up at the slightest things.
"Jen? Are you alright? Jen?" Blake asked, sensing her change.
"The blood never washes off, does it," Jenna said, not taking her eyes of her bloodstained hands. It was more of a statement than a question. "No matter how hard or deep you scrub, it's always there. And there's nothing that can ever wash it off. Not bleach, or forgiveness, or even loss of memory. It's always there, a permanent stain on the soul." A hand, larger but just as strong and rough as her own, took her hand and covered it. She looked up to see John Blake looking at her with a look she had usually only received from either Gordon or the Batman: understanding.
"You're right. It never washes off. We have to live with the blood on our hands and souls for the rest of our lives. But at the same time, we can't just torture ourselves with the memory of our mistakes. We have to learn from them, to make sure we don't repeat them, and that they aren't repeated by others." Jenna glanced at him before she looked back at her hands and nodded. The duo then picked up their bags and headed back to the place to find Bette and Helena waiting outside for them.
"What took you guys so long?" Bette asked, taking some of the produce.
"A little situation, nothing we couldn't handle," Jenna stated.
"That's not what we were worried about. We're worried about having to dispose of a body," Helena said, taking a few plastic jugs of water. Jenna just rolled her eyes. The four of them quickly cooked a meal of chicken soup and, after Blake explained he was putting Jenna on house arrest, Bette and Helena left, promising that they'd look Jenna out of the Batbunker if she didn't rest. While John put the dishes away, Jenna looked at the calendar and chuckled to herself bitterly when she realized the date.
"No wonder I feel so terrible." Blake looked at her, puzzled.
"What makes you say that?"
"It's the anniversary of the Fright Night. My mom died nine years ago today."
"What do you do for fun?" Blake inquired. Jenna looked at him, confused.
"What is this fun you speak of?"she asked.
"You know, what you do with friends or family to enjoy yourself or cheer yourself up."
"I get drunk, but only on anniversaries like this. Unfortunately, I don't think a hangover is what I need at the moment."
"Well you don't seem like the type for underage drinking so what did you do when you were a teenager?"
"Trained, ate my favorite foods… danced."
"Danced?"
"I love dancing… I used to dance all the time before all this." Blake looked thoughtful for a moment before he turned on the radio, walked over to Jenna, and held his hand out to her.
"Come on. You need some cheering up." Jenna reluctantly took his hand.
"I've never danced with a partner outside of class before," she admitted.
"Well, there's a first time for everything." They took their stance, Jenna's right hand in his left, her left hand on his shoulder, and his right arm on the small of her back, and started to sway as the music began.
Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights I call it a draw
Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights I wish they'd just fall off
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh
Woah oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Woah oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Most nights I don't know anymore...
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh
Jenna smiled as John spun her around.
This is it boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?
Why don't we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype
Save that for the black and white
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked,
But here they come again to jack my style
Jenna let out a laugh as John dipped her.
That's alright (that's alright)
I found a martyr in my bed tonight
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am
Oh, who am I? Mmm... Mmm...
John turned Jenna, causing her to come even closer to him when they got back into position.
Well, some nights I wish that this all would end
'Cause I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights I always win, I always win...
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh
Woah oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Woah oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Most nights I don't know... (oh, come on)
So this is it. I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?
(Come on)
No. When I see stars, when I see, when I see stars, that's all they are
When I hear a song, it sounds like this one, so come on.
They spun each other around again.
Oh, come on.
John turned Jenna, unraveled her, and spun her back into his arms.
Oh, come on.
Jenna and John both turned each other around under their grasp.
Oh, come on!
John lifted her up and spun her around causing them to both burst out laughing.
Well, that is it guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands
This one is not for the folks at home;
Sorry to leave, mom, I had to go
Who the fuck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun?
They started to slow their swaying to the music, not realizing how close they were getting.
My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she call "love"
When I look into my nephew's eyes...
Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from...
Some terrible nights... ah...
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh
The other night you wouldn't believe the dream I just had about you and me
I called you up but we'd both agree
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance... Oh...
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance... Oh...
As the music faded out, Jenna realized her face was very close to John and the space seemed to only be getting smaller. Just before their lips met, Jenna turned away and let go of John's hand.
"Thanks for cheering me up. That was… very kind of you."
"Right. No problem."
You can't get close to him, a voice in Jenna's head told her. Even if you wanted to.
Why? Because normal people have relationships and you need to be unique at all costs? another voice snapped back.
Because getting into a relationship leads nowhere good. Look at your family.
That doesn't mean I can't give it a try.
You can't trust anyone other than your family. Has Anna Ramirez taught you nothing?
John might not be family but I'm pretty sure he'd die before he'd purposefully hurt me. Jenna looked at the door John had just stormed out of.
Don't go after him, Jenna's head ordered. You go after him and you're guarantying you fall for him.
But Jenna's heart wasn't listening to her head and at the moment, it seemed as though her heart was in control of her body, because she found herself moving in the direction of the door and toward John Blake.
"John. John, please wait," Jenna pleaded, rushing after him.
"What so you can reject me again?" Blake snapped, not even bothering to turn around.
"Look I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to lead you on."
"So you don't like me in that way."
"I didn't say that." Blake stopped and turned to face her.
"Then why do you find it so hard to say so?" Jenna tried to say something but for the first time in her life, words seemed to fail her. Blake looked at her and shook his head. "Forget it." He started to walk away but the sound of Jenna's voice stopped him.
"My mother had a lot of boyfriends when I was a kid." Blake stopped. Jenna swallowed before she continued. "And not a lot of them were good to her." Blake slowly turned to face her. "I didn't realize it for a long time, she said the cuts and bruises were from work and considering her job, some of them probably were. She tried to hide it from me, made sure I wasn't around when her boyfriends came over, and when I finally did find out she made me promise not to tell anyone. But one night, when I was ten, her latest boyfriend was beating her and… I was scared. I didn't know what to do so I shouted at him to stop and when he didn't… I hit him on the head with a broom. Needless to say, he didn't like that. He was going to hit me but mom stopped him, and kicked him out. She never had a boyfriend again. But after years of seeing her beaten, used, neglected, and put down… I promised that I would never let that happen to me." There was a slight pause before Blake replied.
"Do you really think that I would ever do that to you?"
"No. I don't think you could ever hurt anyone without reason. But I need time to make sure the I'm ready. I'm not asking you to wait for me, since it is possible we have only a few months left of our lives. But… until I've made up my mind, I'd like to stay friends." She held out her hand and after a moment, Blake took it and shook it.
"Deal." Their grips on each others' hands lasted a little longer than normal, before they released. They stood in the silence for a little while before Blake nodded toward the end of the street and the two of them continued to walk.
"John… when you talked about blood on your hands… I'm assuming you know from experience?" Jenna prodded, trying to test the waters. Blake paused before he started.
"The day Bane took over I was visiting John Daggett's construction sites. Two of Bane's guys attacked me and I had to shoot them to get away. I'm not proud of what I've done and I hope that I'll never have to take a life again."
"I hope so too." At that Blake, looked at her.
"What about you? The way you talked about blood on your hands, it's sound like you know something about it too."
"Well, I have plenty of people's blood on my hands, even if I wasn't the one who killed them."
"Like who?"
"My mom. I may not have been the one who killed her but I was with her in the Narrows the night she died. If I'd just made her come with me, then she might still be alive."
"If your mother was anything like you she would've stayed and died trying to save as many people as she could." Jenna looked at John and smiled slightly but the smile slipped off her face at the next thought.
"And then there's my aunt. And I suppose I could add my uncle to the mix. I told my aunt that we could trust Anna Ramirez, which ended up getting my aunt killed and driving my uncle insane."
"That was the Joker not you." At that, Jenna sighed and shook her head.
"The Joker… God, I wish it had only been him."
"What are you saying?" Blake asked. Jenna paused for a second.
"Do you know what happened the night the Joker died?"
"He and his Doctor-turned-henchwench Harley Quinn kidnapped you and Gordon's family as leverage over him and the Batman and the Joker was killed by the Bat." Jenna nodded a little hesitantly.
"That's what every one was told… but that's not what happened."
"What?" Blake asked. Jenna took a deep breath.
"You know how Gordon blamed Harvey Dent's murders on the Batman?" Blake nodded. "Harvey's murders weren't the only ones the Batman took the fall for." John eyes widened in understanding and Jenna sighed and looked at her feet before she continued. "There was a gun. The Joker had bombs set to go off around the city that could only be stopped by killing him and he was about to kill the man who was the closest thing to a father I'd ever had. I was wounded, terrified, and panicked. You see, there will come a time where you have three seconds to make a decision. And that decision will define you, make you the person who you are for the rest of your life. That decision came for me on the night of my junior Prom at age seventeen. And I made the wrong decision that night… actually, I'm not sure if what I did was right or wrong. And that's the thing, that decision was so gray. All my life I was told 'this is right,' and 'this is wrong', and 'if someone is doing this to someone else then you stand up for what's right, no matter the consequences.' But that decision… people would've died if I'd chosen something else… but someone died as a result of my decision. And I don't think I will ever know if I did the right thing. And that… that kills me." John nodded slowly and took a deep breath.
"That's quite a load you got there," John commented. Jenna nodded.
"I'm used to it. Only it's starting to weigh down on me a little more than usual."
"Well did talking help?" Blake asked. Jenna smiled a bit in realization.
"Yeah… it actually did. Thanks… For everything." John smiled.
"Any time."
