A/N: Hi, all! Happy New Year!
I know it's been awhile since I updated again, but I didn't plan on getting roped into making a bunch of jewelry for my family members for the holidays this year. On the plus side, I got paid for all of it, so that's always a good thing. :)
In between doing that, I tried to get a little bit of this chapter done at a time, and ended up getting a bit stuck, so I changed my tactics a little and went with both a BPOV and an EPOV. I figured you'd like hearing Edward's side of things again.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
Chapter 29
BPOV
As Mr. Ateara stepped out onto the porch, he looked over at the guys getting out of their vehicles. "Friends of yours?" he asked me with a nod in their direction.
"Yeah. Those are the guys that are here to use Jake's music studio," I replied as we watched them laugh and playfully shove each other before starting towards the house.
"Huh." He leaned towards me and whispered, "They look like a bunch of hooligans."
I laughed out loud at that.
"They're not," I assured him. I looked back over at them as they walked up the driveway, and could understand why he would think that. Even though it was a bit chilly out, they weren't wearing coats, but they did wear short-sleeved shirts, showing off their various tattoos on their arms. It's not often that you see people with that much ink in Forks. "They're actually very nice."
Mr. Ateara didn't look so convinced. "If they give you any trouble, you feel free to give me a call. I'll be here with my shotgun in no time." Then he winked at me.
I cracked a smile and leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll keep that in mind."
"Good," he said with a quick nod and a grin. As the men got closer to the house, Mr. Ateara turned and started down the steps of the porch, giving the guys a polite 'hello' as he passed them. Once he reached his truck, he looked back at me and shouted, "Take care, Chicky!"
"You too!" I hollared back at him, right before he opened the door and hopped inside, closing the door and starting the truck up. After giving me a wave, he slowly pulled out of the driveway, and I watched him drive off before turning my attention to the boisterous men now making their way up onto the porch.
"Hey, guys. Welcome back," I greeted with a smile, before stepping aside to let them into the house. "Come on in."
"Thanks, Little Momma. It's pretty chilly out here," Emmett said with a mock shiver, as he stepped past me into the house, followed by the rest of the guys with Edward being the last one in.
I playfully rolled my eyes and grinned up at Emmett as I closed the front door. "Well...that's what jackets are for, tough guy. I know that you're probably used to some pretty cold weather being from Chicago and all, but up here in Forks, it's not just cold...it's wet, too. You can get sick pretty easily without the proper clothing," I finished explaining to him.
"Geez, you sound like my mom."
I shrugged my shoulders and answered Emmett with a smile. "What can I say? I've always been kind of maternal towards people, though more so lately." I didn't want to be rude and keep them from the reason they were here, so I waved them on further into the house. "Anyways, you guys can go on ahead and do your thing. If you need anything, you can either find me in the living room or my craft room."
With a loud clap of his hands, Emmett grinned and said, "Cool. Alright boys, let's go get my drum set and the rest of the equipment put together so we can start rockin'."
As Emmett practically flew down the hallway leading out of the foyer and towards the studio, the other men started walking at a slower pace after him. As Edward took a step forward to follow them, I reached out and gently tugged on his arm, stopping him in his tracks. He looked at me with a blank expression on his face, but then looked down at where my hand remained wrapped around his arm and frowned. I released him from my grasp and muttered a quick, "Sorry."
Edward sighed heavily and looked up at my face, and asked, "What do you want?"
I took a moment to really take a good look at him, and noticed dark circles under his eyes, indicating that he hasn't been sleeping well. Taking a deep breath, I quietly asked, "When you have a moment later on, will you come and find me? We really need to talk."
For a moment, it looked like he was going to agree with me, but then he shook his head at me and said, "I'm sorry. Not today, Bella."
I tilted my head to the side and asked him, "Why not? You can't keep avoiding me, Edward."
Edward tore his gaze away from mine and looked down at his feet. "I know that," he said quietly. When he looked up at me again he said, "Look Bella, these past few weeks have been really rough on me, and today is the first good day I've had in while. I just don't want to ruin it with any drama, okay?" I looked up into his tired green eyes, which seemed to be silently pleading with me to agree, and I couldn't help but give in.
"Okay," I agreed. As much as I didn't want to have to put our much needed conversation off, I of all people, knew exactly how he felt right now.
A small, grateful smile appeared on his face, and his whole body seemed to relax a bit. "Thank you, Bella."
I nodded at him and then started to walk past him, and as I did so, I stated, "This doesn't mean I'm letting you off the hook, Edward. We will talk." I stopped walking and turned around to face him again. "But for now...I get why you need this. So...I guess I'll just leave you to your work."
Then, I turned around again and walked away from Edward, leaving him standing in the foyer, and I didn't stop walking until I reached my craft room.
EPOV
I let out a heavy sigh and reached up and to run my fingers through my hair in frustration as I watched Bella walk away from me.
Even though she said she understood why I didn't feel like talking today, she obviously wasn't happy about it, but she didn't push the subject. Instead, she chose to give me some space.
That simple gesture just proved to me even more that Bella was special. Even though she's only known me for a short period of time, she seemed to understand me better than even my closest of friends, whom I've known all my life, and knew when to keep pushing me or just take a step back.
But that was all the more reason for me to keep ignoring and avoiding her.
After I blew up at her two weeks ago, I felt like the biggest asshole in the world, even more so after I learned how much my words had hit home for her. I didn't know how to go about apologizing to her, so like a coward, I ran...to Chicago.
Granted, Jasper tagged along, too, most likely because he sensed something was up, but he never questioned me.
The both of us ended up crashing at Emmett's place while we were there and spent our time visiting Alec and just hanging out and catching up. Those first few days, everything was going great...until I decided to go and visit Tanya's grave.
I had attended her funeral, but I never went back there afterwards. It shames me to admit that that was because not long after Tanya died, I began to experiment with weed and alcohol, which ultimately led up to my use and addiction to heroin. And like any addict knows, when you're high, that's all that matters at the moment, until you come down from it. Then what matters is finding that high again, and the cycle repeats. During that time in my life, it never occurred to me to go back to Tanya's gravesite. If anything, I tried my best to not think of her at all. It hurt too much.
But while I was back in Chicago, I figured it was about time to go visit her. I just didn't realize how unprepared I was to deal with onslaught of emotions that hit me when I finally went.
I was so overwhelmed by the experience, that I left the cemetery in a sort of daze, and without consciously realizing it, I ended up in a part of town I frequented in order to buy heroin. As soon as I had realized where I was, I turned around and began to walk the way that I came, but I didn't get very far before I heard my name being called.
I made the mistake of stopping to see who was calling me and came face to face with my former dealer, and with my emotions being all out of sorts, I couldn't resist buying some heroin off of him. I ended up not using it, though. Not because I didn't want to, because I really craved it, but I couldn't use it. It wasn't until after my dealer walked off to make another deal, that I remembered that I no longer carried a small case with a rubber hose, a small spoon, a lighter, and clean needles in it with me.
I was forced to toss the bag of drugs in a dumpster and then I took off back to Emmett's place, which I refused to leave for the rest of our stay, and it was during that time that I decided to start distancing myself from Bella.
She was too good of a person to get caught up in my mess of a life, and I knew that if I didn't do something about it, we'd both end up getting hurt...again. And I couldn't let that happen.
With that thought in mind, I took off towards the studio, passing Bella's craft room in the process. I stopped in the doorway for moment and just watched her as she concentrated hard while her hand furiously moved across the paper in front of her, no doubt creating something incredible. She didn't even notice I was there.
I watched her for another minute before finally moving on to the studio. As I walked inside, Emmett asked, "Dude! We've been waiting on your ass for ten minutes. What the hell took so long?"
"Sorry, man. I talked with Bella for a few minutes and then I kind of spaced out," I answered, reaching over to pick up my black Gibson Les Paul Studio T guitar from its stand and pulling the strap over my head.
"Everything alright between you two?" Jasper asked me.
I sighed and said, "I don't want to talk about it." My tone of voice left no room for argument, so while ignoring the stares from the others, I then proceeded to make sure my guitar was tuned the way I wanted it and then I went and took my place in front of one of the microphones. "Which song do you guys want to start practicing first?"
"I think you should pick, Edward." I looked over to James, surprised to hear him speak up. He's the least talkative person I've ever met.
I looked around at everyone to see them nodding their heads in agreement. "Okay," I muttered to myself. I thought about what transpired earlier between Bella and myself and the decision I came to in regards to our friendship while I was in Chicago, and I thought of the perfect song for the occasion. "How about Save Yourself?"
We all took a moment to find the right sheet music before we started.
"Ready?" I asked. After a chorus of 'yeahs', I nodded and started counting down. "3, 2, 1...Go."
James opened the song with a melody on his keyboard and then at the same time, Emmett, Jasper, and Riley joined in. When it came time for me to sing, I belted out the words..."
I'm the Devil's son straight out of Hell,
And you're an angel with a haunted heart.
If you're smart you'd run and protect yourself,
From a demon living in the dark.
There's nothing to be gained, cuz I can never change.
And you can never understand my sickness,
(I'll never understand my sickness.)
Save yourself
From a life full of lies, and a heart full of pain and sorrow.
Save yourself
From the choices I make, cuz nothing but failure follows me.
Save yourself.
Save yourself.
You're the perfect drug, when it hurts like Hell.
I've never needed anyone so much.
There's no one else I love, and I curse myself,
Cuz the right thing is to give you up.
I'm overcome by shame, cuz I can never change,
And you can never understand my sickness.
(I'll never understand my sickness.)
From there, I repeated the chorus a few more times and pretty soon we finished the song.
"Holy shit, you guys. That sounded awesome!" Emmett boasted loudly, after allowing us a moment to rest.
Jasper had a huge smile on his face as he nodded in agreement with his cousin. "Yeah. I have to say, I wasn't expecting our first practice song to sound so perfect right off the bat. Good job, guys."
"That doesn't mean we can expect the rest of them turn out like that, though, and it could still use a few minor tweaks here and there." I set my guitar down on its stand, and then left to grab a couple bottles of water from the kitchen. When I got back, I handed one to each person and then opened my own bottle up and downed half of it, letting the cool water soothe my throat.
While we rested, we discussed some of the changes we felt we should make for the song, and once we all agreed on what to do, we gathered our instruments and went back to our spots.
"Okay...ready? 3, 2, 1, Go!"
A/N: The song in this chapter is Save Yourself by My Darkest Days. I mentioned in a previous chapter that I planned to use it, so I finally got to a point in the story that I felt it was perfect for. I highly suggest going to Youtube and watching the official lyric video. I personally love how the song sounds. :)
Anyways, I don't have an idea of when the next update will be. I'll just have to update when I can.
So...that being said, enjoy your New Year's celebrations and stay safe.
See you soon!
