"You have got to be kidding me."
Liz tossed her files down on the chair beside her desk, glaring at the occupied seat opposite it. To her defense, the bad mood was brought on by Harvey storming around the apartment in a hurry to get to the precinct considering he'd overslept. Again. Not to mention the drive to work was spent on the phone with Alfred. The man confided in her about Selina's actions, which she had to pretend to be unaware of. All the secrets were building up and it was becoming too much for her conscience.
So when she walked into Arkham to find her office door open, her heart sank. And when she saw an officer standing beside a seated Jack, she almost blew.
"Well hello to you as well."
"What, in God's name, could you possibly need from me this early?" As she spoke, the officer in the room looked at her then looked away. "I have you scheduled today at 10."
"I've been on my best behavior and I think I deserve a gift…don't you agree?"
She almost said 'no', cussed him out, and told him to leave. But the guard was there and that was not professional.
"I see. Perhaps I'll think of something. Now, you have a meeting with me at 10 and I will speak with you then." She nodded at the guard who demanded that Jack rise to his feet.
Instead, Jack stared at Liz, lowering his chin, a small half smirk on his face which made the scar look even more menacing. The handcuffs jingled as he lunged up, grasping her throat. Liz's fingers dug into his forearm, trying to break skin and fight him off. The guard went to grab him, but Jack pushed her head down toward the corner of the desk and Liz wound up on the ground, clutching her head.
She felt warm, slick blood on her fingertips and she pulled away, wiping again at the painful spot just beside her eye. Though lightheaded, she struggled to her feet and narrowed her eyes at Jack who was being dragged out of her office, laughing the whole way back to his cell.
The medic came in to care for her wound, making sure her eyes were alright as well. Though her boss was busy, she managed to make a phone call to her before 10 o'clock rolled around.
"I understand that you two had an incident this morning, but know that you're still required to see him today," she spoke through the receiver.
"I-" Liz began to argue, but her boss hung up the phone.
Fuming, she stormed down to the room and buzzed in. Jack wasn't there yet so she sat in the seat alone, staring at the chipping wooden table. Her head pounded. She wanted to vomit. Jack's abusive ways were still taking their toll on her, even though they were separated. It still felt like torture. A part of her felt like she was the patient in this room.
When Jack came in, he sat down and the guard latched the handcuffs to the bolted down table. It didn't give Liz any more comfort. When the guard left, the two of them sat silently.
A few minutes in, Jack spoke. "Stitches?"
"No," she spoke coldly.
"Damn."
"You're trying to get me fired, aren't you? You want me to blow up on my boss. You want me to lose it all, don't you?"
He chuckled but didn't answer. "Rumor has it that you're dating a police officer." She didn't correct him. "Setting yourself up for protection, Elizabeth." A giggle came from him and Liz focused on the healed scar on his cheek. "Does he know…?"
Lizzy stared at Jack now, eyes hollow. Fear filled her. Fear and rage and annoyance. Without speaking it, they both knew he was threatening her. He had friends. They knew where he was. If he got word to them, they'd be all too eager to kill Harvey. After everything Liz had done to them, they would want to get even. She couldn't help but let the emotions show on her face.
"There she isssss," he half hissed, half laughed. "Where have you been hiding, my dear Harleen?"
"Why are you doing this to me?" her voice sounded foreign.
"What am I doing? This is all you. All your fault. I wouldn't be here if you didn't go to the police. You created this. You dug your own grave. Now lay in it." The last part came out as a growl. "You miss me. Whatever you and this cop have, it doesn't compare to us," he chortled. "The fighting, the long nights of pure naked bliss."
She wanted to say stop, but she just didn't have it in her today. Didn't even sound like herself – didn't even think like herself. "No." was all she managed.
But he kept on. "All I tried to do was fix you. You were damaged goods when I found you. After everything with my father, I needed something to…clear my head. And you were it," he emphasized the 't'. "I kept you around a lot longer than I should have. That was my gift to you."
Don't think, don't think, don't think. "You should'a just let me go."
"And miss all the fun?" he laughed. "Don't think that just because I'm in here and we're through, I'm done with you. There's more coming."
It was like a floodgate opening; everything drowning her in one gush. All the memories she'd buried of him beating her, verbally demeaning her, and urging her to be a person she never was – they were all back. Her head pounded, the new wound throbbed. She was a joke – she wasn't fooling anyone. She was still the same person she was running from.
Quickly, she stood and b-lined for the door, his laughter howling behind her.
Anger. Fury like she'd never felt before was burning in her belly. She felt ashamed. She felt humiliated. Her fists were clenched the entire walk to her office for her purse and keys. She didn't sign out, just sprinted to her car. And then her phone was ringing in her back pocket; the phone Harvey bought for her.
"Hey, are you, uh…are ya busy? I'm on break in ten so I figured I'd ask if you wanted to meet for coffee."
She breathed unevenly, trying to calm herself before telling him that yes, she would. Yes, it would be good for her. Yes, she wanted to be with someone who wasn't a nutjob.
Honestly, she didn't pay much attention to her route to get there, but she snapped out of it just in time to parallel park. It was starting to rain, per usual in Gotham. When she saw Harvey's car, she looked around for him. Maybe he was going to approach her car, or was he in the coffee shop already?
She glanced around, trying desperately to find him and suddenly realizing that she'd walked off the job. A breather. She'd tell them she needed a breather.
But her boss was a bitch. Following Strange's orders: know your place and be in it, always. They were all too concerned about people wandering around the facility – of not knowing where their staff was at all times. It was a little off-putting. And now to place her in that room with a patient after he'd attacked her? She didn't owe them an explanation for leaving. Fuck it.
When she saw a guy beating someone in the alley, she started reaching for her phone to call Harvey so he could settle it. Until she recognized that hat and that build.
A quick shift to get out of her car and she was running to that alley, standing mere feet away from the scene; fists clenched. The man had Harvey's gun aimed at his chest now.
He was focused on Harvey; didn't expect a thing, certainly not a five foot woman tackling him to the concrete. Elizabeth didn't fight for the gun, she just beat to injure. The man's face was soon coated in blood, so were her hands. When she heard Harvey begging her to stop, she didn't register it. But when she felt Harvey's hands on her shoulders, she paused mid-swing.
"Hey!" he was yelling. And, "that's enough-"
But she didn't stop. Not until the man dropped the gun and paid for emasculating Harvey. Maybe he was used to the barrel of a gun pointed at him, but she was not. Seeing it lit something in her. It threw lighter fluid on her already burning fire. Burning from Jack and all the nasty things he turned her into. Burning from her secrets and her fear of things being uncovered. Burning from the realization that the job she'd been busting her ass for, for more than 18 years was not what she'd expected. That her boss was a fucker. She wanted to be happy finally and there were so many things dragging her back down. She'd tried so hard to start a new life.
Elizabeth felt this man's nose break beneath her knuckles and soon her hands were squeezing his throat. When she grew tired of the gasping, she made a swift movement and broke his neck.
After she stood, she looked between Harvey and the body of the man. Harv was against the brick wall, black eye just starting to show, bloodied lip. It took her seven seconds to fall to her knees, shell-shocked. What had she just done?
He took her home almost instantly. Drove her car – she never let anyone drive her car.
He asked her about the wound beside her eye, noting that it was patched. But she wasn't ready to speak. He'd guessed it, though. Guessed that it was Jack. Only Jack could make her this frustrated – could push her to this point. And it destroyed Harvey. A part of him had been hopeful; maybe she could be different than her past. In the last 48 hours, however, she'd proven that things were all too similar. He wanted to fix her, but maybe he never could.
Harv made hot chocolate as she sat with a blanket draped over her shoulders. The room felt suddenly cold. Nothing felt right. It was like she wasn't welcome inside her own body.
Harvey snapped his phone shut, coming back from a phone call that she hoped wasn't Jim. He slipped the phone in his pocket and sighed. Butch was on his way. Butch. Of all people. He'd hit his breaking point. The guy could take care of their little problem – that he knew.
"What'd I jus' do?" her voice was off. Harvey's eyes widened. It almost sounded like an accent. She cleared her throat. "It was the last thing I expected to see tonight."
"It did get out of hand. Needed backup, but you came and, well…"
"I killed him." Her voice was low, as if she meant this only for herself, but Harvey was listening again for the accent to show through. He bit his tongue.
"I called Butch." Shortly after the statement, there was a knock at the door and Harvey unlocked it. The large man barreled into the room, staring with a humored expression.
"Harvey, I thought you knew how to clean up your own messes. Why'd ya call little ol' me for this job?" he chuckled. When Harvey didn't answer, Butch looked over at Lizzy. His eyes focused, mind slowly registering. "Oh, shit…"
Harvey hadn't wanted him to know – didn't think he could figure it out himself – but it happened and he felt a sinking feeling.
"You called Butch to take care of this?" Lizzy stood on shaky legs.
"Hey, doll, you ain't lookin' so good." Butch reached an arm out to steady her. He took her hand. Her knuckles were bruised. "Liz, what happened?"
Jealousy pumped through Harvey's veins again, remembering her straddling his thick thighs all those months ago. That felt like a lifetime ago. It felt like he was remembering a different person than the one sitting before him now.
She didn't speak at first, so Butch waited her out which gave Harvey some time to inspect the 'V' carved in his forehead.
"Jack set me off today and I did somethin' stupid," she admitted, looking directly at Butch. Harvey stepped forward, eyebrows furrowed. "I told him about Jack last time we saw each other, honey. It's okay." She raised a hand toward him. "He tried chokin' me out 'an I jus'…" there was that accent again and Harvey zeroed in on it. "Slammed my head against my desk…'n then I was told that I still had to counsel him afterward. My head hadn't even stopped bleedin'."
"Well that dead scumbag ain't gonna hold Harv at gunpoint anymore," Butch laughed. He whistled. "Pretty bang-up job you did there, kid. Barehanded, huh?" he pursed his lips and nodded. "I'm impressed, Liz. Really. Maybe ya do have a job with Oswald." The smile left his face as soon as he spoke the last sentence. Liz's eyes widened as Harvey took a step forward, towering over her.
"What?"
"I mentioned that maybe I should have Oswald show me the ropes of this city. I…"
"-Are you freggin' nuts?" Harvey's voice rose, ears reddening. "Unbelievable."
"Nothin' wrong with a woman wanting to feel safer in a city like this. I wouldn't let anything happen to her, Harv, you know that."
Harvey spun on his heels, grabbing Butch by the collar. "Don't. Butch, don't."
Liz watched as Butch started that twitching she'd seen a month before. His reaction was chilling and it rose Liz to her feet, pulling at Harvey's shoulder. She could see the look of curiosity on his face, but she wanted him to stop.
"Boys. Stop. I'm not joining Oswald right now, so cool it."
"'Right now'!?" Harvey quoted, letting up on Butch. "Lizzy, you can't be serious."
It was a conversation for another time and Butch could sense that he wasn't ready to get in the middle of it all. He straightened himself, shook Harvey's hand, gently took Liz's.
"I'm a phone call away if you need me," the big man started backing toward the door, letting their hands drop to their sides again.
Harvey raised a finger. "This stays between us – no mention to Penguin."
Butch paused which made Harvey turn to him again, mouth agape. "I didn't say nothin'. Promise. It's just…uh…this dude was one 'a Maroni's. He was on Penguin's hit list and he's been on our radar for a few days now. Kid just got back in town. Pretty sure Oswald already knows."
"And he knows it's Lizzy?" Harvey yelled.
Butch raised his hands in defense again. "No clue. I'll keep my ear to the ground and let you know when I know."
Liz wanted to get out of the apartment, away from Harvey and the situation. But as soon as Butch closed the door, Harvey was pulling her to the couch and staring at her with the most intense glare. She didn't blink at him, didn't move her lips or protest.
"You've done this before, haven't you?"
The woman remained quiet, eyes closing for a second as she gathered her thoughts. She could hear Harvey breathe sharply through his nose. Her eyes opened when he started to get up.
"No, wait, Harv. Wait," she pulled at his hand, wrapping her fingers around his pinky. "I haven't done this before. Not this."
The detective sat back down slowly, ears reddened, jaw clenched. "Harleen." He spoke it just above a whisper, but it cut right through her. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep turning a blind eye to things, stay in the dark. You need to tell me what you've done. You crossed that line tonight."
"I know," she acknowledged. "Just…promise me you won't walk out that door after I tell you."
"You know I can't promise that."
She nodded. "You're right," There was a silent moment between the two again. "Remember you asked about my sister? I told you that Jack tried getting with her. Well, it went a little farther than that. I didn't think much of it when he'd asked me to invite her over for the weekend. Said it was a good idea to spend time with family and I agreed after a few weeks of him pestering me about it. It was a Friday that Catherine came over and was supposed to stay until Sunday. Quiet night of drinking wine and letting her get to know Jack. You know, that first night she actually liked him." She could remember the pinkness to her cheeks from the wine, but also Jack's flirting. That's how he was and she'd been used to it at the time. "Next morning comes around and I'm up early as usual. Went grocery shopping and when I came back, Cathy was screaming."
Harvey sat wide-eyed, breath caught in his throat in wonderment. And Liz could feel her terror creeping up in her throat. "She kept screaming, 'Harls, Harls, get in here!' and I just remember spilling all the groceries on the floor and skidding down the hall to the bathroom. Jack was bare naked, Cathy covering herself with the shower curtain, soaking wet. And Jack was still stroking himself when I ran in. She tells me he's a creep, says he's been in the bathroom with her for five minutes, started pulling back the curtain to watch her in the shower, shoved a finger inside of her vagina, laughed when she hit him, refused to leave, tried getting in the shower with her. And there I was. Left them alone together. I felt like such a shitty big sister, yanno?"
"You couldn't have known-"
"No. I could have. He'd seen pictures of her, made some inappropriate comments about her, would ask about her often. I should have put it together. I just thought he was all talk, yanno? Sayin' shit to get me fired up." Liz shook her head, rubbing her eyes. "I stupidly shoved him out of the room and that pissed him off. He reopens the door, chokes me out, shoves me in the hallway, locks the door, and proceeds to rape my sister." Liz let a few tears fall. "I tried so hard to get it open. Tried picking it, throwing furniture at it. I was so bruised after throwing myself at it and that door was still chipped and cracked when I sold the place." Her throat hurt from speaking so much and her ears were ringing, but Harvey was still there.
"All of this happened about a month before I ran to the cops. A month before I seduced some bigwig at the university and got them to put a rush on my order for my updated diploma with my new name on it. Harvey, you have to understand why I haven't told you this. It's shameful, it's messy, it's horrible, and I love you. I want you to think the best of me and this isn't helping my case. I killed someone, Harvey. Tonight. Now. I let Jack push me into dragging my sister into the house like she was some daughter of a big-pocketed mayor – like he'd get money from that ordeal. I thought that's what this was all about until he raped my sister. This wasn't just about the money, Harvey. He was sick. He needs help. And now I have to sit across the desk from a psychopath who I used to love, a psychopath who raped my sister, who coerced me daily, who killed people and put their bodies in Rubbermaid containers with chemicals." She was almost yelling at this point, her breath running thin and gasping leaving her between every sentence. "And tonight, I snapped. I snapped because I can't keep doing this, Harvey. I can't keep lying about who I am or what I did."
She was sobbing now, resting her head on her knees and reminding herself to breathe. Harvey didn't even make any attempt to move closer or comfort her. He was too shocked.
"I want to turn myself in," it came out as a whisper but Harvey heard it clearly.
"No." Harvey snapped. "Absolutely not. No. Don't even think about it."
"Then what do I do?" she felt like she was in way over her head.
Harvey pulled her in, pulled her on his lap, wrapped his arms around her, and pressed gentle kisses to her shoulder while she cried against his neck.
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "But turning yourself in isn't an option." And suddenly his mind was turning to possibilities – framing Jack for the murder of that scum in the alley, or putting a hit out on Jack but that would mean someone busting in to Arkham and upsetting the order. No one would do it – they'd be found out. Maybe someone on the inside…
But Harvey reminded himself that he was trying this whole clean cop thing for now and that wasn't an option.
"Whatever happens, you need to stay as far away from Jack as possible. No more of this crap. Who do you have to go to, to get him off of your charge?"
A silent moment passed between them before she answered, "Hugo Strange."
"Then you go to Strange and demand something changes."
Liz was silent the rest of the night.
