A/N: I'll be leaving soon for a trip, so I wanted to post this chapter before I left. It's a little longer than usual since I won't be able to update for a couple of weeks. Enjoy!


It had been 3 days since the attack and the phones were ringing off the hook in the precinct. Munch slammed the receiver down in frustration. "Some lady swears she saw them getting facials at the spa."

Fin scoffed without looking up from his computer. Ever since the press conference, the lines had been busy nonstop with tips. Most of them were clearly false, but the few they did investigate didn't pan out. The board had a little more information, but the blank spaces stood out.

Munch and Fin had grilled the manager and employees at the coffee shop where Ben worked. They all said the same things: he was a loner, quiet, good worker, but occasionally had a temper. All they gained was a last name-Jamieson.

The search of Ben's apartment turned up nothing helpful. Aside from an unusual level of cleanliness compared to the typical bachelor pad, there was nothing suspicious. His address book had never been written in and TARU couldn't find a record of anyone named Jim-if that was even his real name-on his hard drive.

Cragen entered the squad room and Munch and Fin turned to him in attention, the unasked question heavy in the air. He merely shook his head and watched their faces fall. He had set out to investigate a promising lead that once again fell flat.

Cragen surveyed his detectives, sensing the change that had come over them. The initial drive and determination they started with was turning to apprehension. The more time that passed, the bleaker the outcome became. The same question rotated in their minds. Had the men really gotten away or were they biding their time, lying in wait to finish what they started?


Elliot sat in front of the television again. The bright screen flickered with images of a cooking utensil and an overly animated host proclaiming the great bargain. Elliot hardly paid it any mind, but he made no motion of moving. Watching infomercials at 3:00 a.m. was a better alternative than sleeping.

Two nights ago, after he had come home utterly spent, Kathy had insisted he go to bed after his confession, and he was to worn out to protest. Still, as tired as he was, he barely slept a wink. Images of Olivia kept running through his mind every time he closed his eyes. Eventually Elliot gave up on sleeping and slipped down to the living room being careful not to disturb Kathy. He turned on the TV and readily welcomed the distraction.

"Elliot help me!"

"Olivia?" Elliot jumped to his feet, his eyes wide with alarm. "Olivia where are you!?" His eyes scanned the darkened room.

"Elliot!" Olivia's voice sounded faintly. Elliot sprinted in the direction of Olivia's voice and stopped in his tracks at what he saw. Jim had one hand entangled in Olivia's hair, forcing her to stay on her knees. The other hand held a gun which he had pointed at the back of her head. Olivia's clothes were shredded and silent tears painted their way down her cheeks. Elliot's blood ran cold as Olivia looked imploringly at him, but he couldn't make himself move.

"Say goodbye," was all Jim said before he pulled the trigger.

"NO," Elliot shouted and just then a hand closed around his arm. Elliot blindly struck out, his fist swinging at the unknown assailant.

"Elliot!" a familiar woman's voice cried out. Elliot's eyes sprung open and the room slowly came into focus. Standing above him was Kathy with an astonished look on her face. His fist had missed her face by inches.

"Kathy!" Elliot pushed himself into a sitting position, his mind still struggling to wake up. "Did I hurt you?" Eliot leapt to his feet, gently inspecting Kathy's face.

"No Elliot, but," she pulled away from his grasp with a sigh, "This can't go on."

"It was an accident Kathy, you know I would never intentionally hurt you." Elliot supplicated, horrified by the thought. "It was just a bad dream."

"About what."

Elliot hesitated, "The usual kind."

"Elliot why can't you talk to me?" Kathy asked, softening her voice.

"I told you what happened," Elliot replied with a defensive edge in his voice.

"Yes, you told me, in the loosest sense of the word, you never talked about it." Kathy carried on before Elliot could protest, "Elliot if you won't talk to me, talk to her. What happened affected both of you. Please Elliot, I can't stand to see you hurting."

The couple stared at each other, hands clenched and fighting back tears; Elliot was the first to move.

"Olivia gets out today, I was going to go pick her up."

Kathy placed her hand on Elliot's shoulder, "I won't wait up," she whispered before walking back upstairs.


The sky was painted a drab gray, and the clouds hung heavy with the threat of rain. Peering out from the hospital window, Olivia approved of these conditions.

The weather matched her mood, pent up emotion that was bound to break free. She sat dressed in a loose fitting blue hoodie and grey sweatpants that Elliot had brought her earlier in anticipation of today. She drummed at the bedrail waiting for her final check before being given the release forms. Olivia couldn't wait to get out of there, she was sick of the pitying glances the nurses threw her way. She was tired of being seen as a victim.

As the hour drew near, Olivia could feel her enthusiasm draining. Suddenly the thought of going home didn't seem so appealing. The morphine was wearing off. The doctor had written her a prescription for another pain medication, but she would have to pick it up. He assured her that what she was on now would last her the rest of the day. The doctor had steadily been reducing her dose and now her mind was beginning to clear and with that came a realization. Going home meant being alone with her thoughts.

Olivia wasn't sure she was ready for that. However, she was deprived the chance of further pondering that.

"Olivia," Elliot peered around the ajar door. "Are you ready?"

"I will be as soon as the nurse returns with my discharge papers." Olivia tugged at her shirt, feeling restless. "What, no more gifts?" She tipped her head towards the large bear that was taking up occupancy in the chair.

Elliot offered a wry grin in response. Silence settled into the room and their gazes began to wander. They had only been reunited for a moment and already the conversation had dried up.

The nurse returned with the documentation, and Olivia hastily scrawled her name on the line. Her signature was nearly illegible due to the splint, but it would suffice. Olivia moved to get to her feet when the nurse stopped her.

Reaching around the corner she rolled a wheelchair into the room.

"Hospital protocol."

Olivia protested the wheelchair pointing out that since she was cleared to leave, surely she could walk, but neither the nurse nor Elliot budged.

Relenting with a sigh, Olivia allowed the nurse to ease her into the chair and wheel her down the hall. Elliot lumbered along beside them, the large teddy bear obstructing his vision. Once outside, Olivia cautiously got to her feet. A breeze rustled her hair and she closed her eyes. Olivia stood for a moment, taking it all in. She hadn't been outside in days and the air felt different somehow. She felt different.

"Liv, you okay?"

Elliot's concerned timbre broke her concentration. She turned, shaking her head and pasting a smile on her face.

"I'm fine Elliot, I just want to go home."

Going home posed an unexpected challenge. Although Olivia's apartment was no longer an active crime scene, Elliot hesitated to bring her there. The evidence of what happened may have been gone, but the memories still hung in dead air.

Elliot eased his car into the Manhattan traffic while his mind scrambled for a solution. With her head turned towards the window, Olivia settled his internal debate.

"I want to go to my apartment Elliot." She said calmly.

The statement caught him off-guard, and Elliot was grateful Olivia wasn't looking at him. Elliot hands tensed on the wheel as he tried to objectively voice his concerns.

"Olivia you don't have to go back. You can stay with me and-" Elliot trailed off, perhaps mentioning his wife wasn't the best move. The last thing he needed to do was resurrect feelings of guilt on top of everything else. Elliot hurried to recover. "Or-or you can stay at a hotel. There are options, just tell me what you want. I just don't want you to feel rushed."

Olivia turned to face him. "What I want, Elliot, is to go back to my apartment." She repeated in a low voice. "It is still my home, I won't let them take that from me too." The note of finality in her voice tabled the discussion.

"Okay Olivia, whatever you want." Elliot steered the car towards her place, keeping quiet about his further misgivings.


Olivia unlocked the door, but her hand remained on the knob. She had heard from victims how hard it was to reenter the places they had been violated in, but she never understood that feeling until now. Behind the door was no longer her safe space, her place to escape the torments of her job. Now it had become a part of the horrors she saw daily.

Elliot sensed her need to collect herself and gave her space.

Come on, you can do this. It's over. They're long gone. Olivia's mental pep talk was enough to make her turn the knob and swing open the door to her apartment.

There was a coffee mug in the sink, the pillows on the couch were slightly askew, and her brown leather jacket was crumpled on the floor. Everything was exactly as she left it.

Being aware of Elliot's concerned presence behind her, Olivia stepped into her apartment for the first time in days. Elliot walked in behind her and placed her things down on the couch. He looked at her, waiting for what came next.

"Thank you for driving me Elliot. I really appreciate it." Olivia walked to the door and held it open. "So I'll see you later." Olivia looked at him expectantly, and Elliot stared back.

Elliot paused, Is she really kicking me out? Aside from the doctor's insistence that she wasn't on her own, he wasn't ready to leave her yet.

"What's the rush Liv? I'm not in any hurry," For good measure, Elliot pulled off his heavy sweatshirt and tossed it on the couch, making himself comfortable in his faded t-shirt.

Now it was Olivia's turn to hesitate. She hadn't expected him to want to stay. Just from the brief time spent back in her apartment, memories already began to creep up. Elliot had to feel it too, surely he should be just as eager to leave as she was.

She tried again, "I'm not the best company right now. I'm still a little groggy from the meds. I'll probably just have a quick meal and take a nap."

"That's fine. I'll make you something," Elliot easily replied back, heading towards her pantry. He knew Olivia liked to close herself off. But Elliot was determined to not let her shut him out.

Olivia faltered. She didn't want to kick Elliot out, but she also didn't want to deal with the conversation that was bound to happen. The memories were already threatening to claw away at her stability, she didn't need to help them along.

The noodles clattered loudly as Elliot shook the box of instant macaroni.

"I'm surprised Liv, you actually have something edible. I thought we'd have to order takeout." Before she could argue Elliot went on "So, does macaroni and a mindless movie sound good to you? Elliot gave her a knowing look.

Olivia quickly processed what Elliot was saying. He was giving her an out.

A wave of relief crashed over her. Elliot wasn't going to press her to talk. The knots in her stomach untangled.

"It sounds great Elliot."