29?
George Huang sat across from Olivia, studying her curiously. He was interested by a slight change in her demeanor – as if her world was starting to settle down.
"You go back to work next week. Are you looking forward to it?"
"In a way." Olivia shifted in her seat. "I like my job. I like being able to help the people that really need it."
"I sense a 'but' there."
"What's Josh going to do? I can't be with him when I'm at work, and I'm worried what's going to happen to him if he stays at the squad room." She looked distressed. "I can't take him to childcare – he couldn't deal with it."
"I agree. Josh isn't ready for childcare yet. Why are you worried about him being at the squad room?"
"Some of the people that go through there – they're the scum of the universe. He's been through so much, and he's come so far – it would only take one person, one look or one word. He could go backwards so quickly."
"Olivia, you're playing what ifs. He's been at the squad room before and hasn't had a problem. He gets on well with the rest of the team. You're doing just fine."
Olivia nodded. "Okay."
She still looked a little unsure, but George didn't want to press her about it. He thought there might be something else on her chest that he wanted to hear about.
"Tell me about your weekend. What did you do?"
"Elliot and I got a mortgage."
"Congratulations."
Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Stop smirking."
"Sorry," George replied, smiling softly. "How do you feel about that?"
"Not as bad as I thought I would," Olivia replied. "I feel…relaxed about it."
"I'm glad to hear it."
"Elliot brought Dickie over to play with Josh."
George's ears pricked up. "Really? That's wonderful. How did it go?"
Olivia smiled softly. "Really well. Josh has started calling Dickie 'little Elliot'. He was a little shy at first, but with Elliot and I there, plus Dickie being Elliot's son, he soon eased into it."
"That's an excellent first step, Olivia. And a very important one." He looked at her intently. "I'm sure you were pleased to hear that Elliot told his family."
She nodded. "It made me feel…validated in a strange sort of way."
"Not surprising. Your relationship with Elliot is one where secrecy is important because of your jobs. To have him tell his family was a way of affirming that relationship in one area, while in other areas it may take a while."
"I suppose telling his family was a bit like us buying the house together."
George nodded. "Absolutely. You've both made a commitment to the relationship. A commitment that looks ahead into the future, and not just day-to-day."
"It's good," Olivia agreed.
"Has Josh talked to you much about his family?"
Olivia looked at George strangely. "Considering his father molested him, I wouldn't imagine him to."
"What about his mother?"
"She died when he was two."
"But Josh still spent a lot of time with her after that. It's important he has someone to talk to about his family – particularly as he's becoming part of a new one."
"I'm not going to traumatize him all over again by making him talk about his dead mother!"
"Olivia, the knowledge of family that you and Joshua have is very similar, but very different to what most other people have. Both of you are entering into a situation that is almost like foreign territory. You've got Elliot to help you, but you and Josh need to share your experiences so you can make this new one work." George stared at her. "Trust me."
--
Joshua swung his legs underneath the chair as he listened to Sarah talk.
"What did you do this week, Josh?" she asked.
He said nothing.
"Josh, it's important that we talk to each other."
"Livvy not here."
"I thought that you and I should get to know each other a bit better."
"Want Livvy."
"I know you do, Josh. But it's important for you and me to have this time together."
"Why? Want Livvy."
"She's just outside, Josh. But we need to talk together." Sarah leaned towards him. "Why don't you tell me about what some of your favorite things to do are? Maybe things you do with Olivia, or something else?"
Josh shrugged. "Read. Cars. See Livvy now?"
"Not yet," Sarah replied. "Why don't you tell me about the things you read?"
Josh shrugged again. "Books."
--
Olivia looked up as Josh came running out of the doctor's room. She picked him up easily in her arms, surprised when he hugged her so tight she could barely breathe. Her eyes looked over the top of his head at Sarah's, and she sighed at the look in the woman's eyes.
"Hey, Josh," Olivia murmured, leaning back so she could look him in the eye. "Can you stay here for me while I go in and talk to Sarah for a minute?"
Josh looked a little uncertain about the idea, but finally relinquished his hold on her. Olivia whispered her promise to be back soon in his ear and followed Sarah into the room.
"I take it by your look that he's not doing too well," Olivia said.
"He doesn't like being in the room without you. And he's reverting to one word sentences."
"I'll talk to him," Olivia assured her. "He met Elliot's son and they seemed to do well together. But I'll talk to him."
Sarah nodded. "Okay."
--
As they left the doctor's office, Olivia turned to Josh. "How about we go and get a milkshake? Just you and me?"
Josh nodded, encasing his small hand in hers. She smiled, squeezing it and they made their way to the local café. Once their orders had been delivered (vanilla milkshake for Olivia and chocolate for Josh), the detective decided to broach some subjects with him.
"Josh, you know I talked with Sarah today, right?"
He nodded and took a slurp of his drink.
"She said that you didn't seem to want to talk to her."
"No Livvy," came the explanation.
Olivia's hand reached across the table, cupping his cheek with her hand. "I know it's hard, Josh. It's hard for me to talk to Dr. Huang too. But it's really important." She sighed. "And as much as I want to, I can't be with you all the time."
"Will you go away?"
"No," Olivia promised him. "I'm not going to leave you. I'll always be here for you, Josh." She pointed to his heart. "And I'll definitely always be there. But sometimes, I can't be right with you physically. Remember how sometimes Elliot and I had to go out and leave you at the station."
He nodded.
"Well, it's like that. But I always came back, didn't I?"
Josh nodded again.
"So, if I promise never to leave you, will you try to make friends with Sarah? Like you do with Munch and Fin?"
"Okay."
"You know something, Josh?" Olivia said to him. "I'm really proud of you."
The boy looked up at her, a surprised look on his face.
"I know how hard it is for you to be doing a lot of what you're doing, and how hard everything was for you. But I'm really proud of you and I'm honored to be able to be your foster mom."
A broad smile came over the little boy's face and he made his way over to Olivia, giving her a huge hug. "Love you, Livvy."
She grinned down at him as her arms tightened around his small frame. "I love you too, Josh."