Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.
a/n: I have to post a warning for this chapter, as it does involve smut and one or two racist words. If you are offended by this or don't like to read, my apologies, and please just skip past this chapter.
I am pretty damn nervous posting this, as I haven't really written anything of a smutty nature in well over ten years, and I am so bloody rusty... and a little out of my depth here. I really really hope this chapter comes out okay.
So saying-here we go...
...
A light rain slowly misted, so soft that it almost whispered down to him, and Merle glanced up at the night sky, shifting his legs from underneath him as he stood to his feet. He saw the faint droplets from the wan light of the hurricane lamp, and grunting under his breath, he pushed the door of the control booth open with his foot, shoving the Jeffery Deaver novel he'd been reading to his chest, cradling it with his stump as he retrieved the lamp.
He left the rifle propped at the wall near to the door; ready at hand if anything went down, although from the few quiet hours he'd already spent at watch-he doubted anything much was going to happen now. The Governors trail was dead and cold; it seemed like the damned man had vanished off the face of the earth.
Merle propped himself against the edge of the table, placing the lamp near to him. Fumbling in his pants pocket, he retrieved his cigarettes, smiling at the fact they weren't quite his-he'd lifted them from Daryl's cell earlier. Not that his little brother would have noticed. Daryl had gone on yet another futile scouting run with Michonne, and had forgotten to take them with him.
He lit the smoke, taking a long inhale and puffing the smoke out slowly as he flipped the paperback open, resting it against his stump as he bent back the page he'd dog eared earlier. He'd found it in the library earlier on in the day. He'd had to admit that the book wasn't half bad, and soon enough he found himself being drawn back and immersed into the world of Lincoln Ryhme, and the steady familiar flow of words from the pages capturing his attention.
He smoked the cigarette, clenching it between his teeth so that he wouldn't have to put the book down, only stopping when the smoke burnt down to the filter, smarting at his lips and then he flipped the paperback over; pressing the pages against his arm as he spat out the embering butt, and ground at it with the heel of his boot.
Picking the book back up, he picked up from where he'd left off and started to pore over the pages again, only to to stop and raise his head, sighing in irritation as he heard voices drift towards him. One feminine, the other definitely male-he heard their lightly shared laughter in the air even before he heard their footsteps echo at the base of the steps of the tower.
Merle dog eared the page, and rolled the book loosely, shoving it into the back pocket of his pants as he stepped out of the control booth.
Tyreese looked at him mildly in surprise, dropping his arm from around the dark haired woman's shoulders, and Merle huffed at them. What the fuck was it with the damned watches? Couldn't any fucker manage a shift on their own he thought, smirking suddenly.
Karen watched as he moved past them. He remembered her from Woodbury, had seen her taking watch on the walls there. He'd never cared for her-in fact he remembered that he'd found her fucking irritating. The type of woman that thought she had a bigger dick, and a bigger right than most of the men around. Stupid feminist bitch full of the usual shit and bigotry.
"Anything happening out there?" Tyreese asked, looking at him.
Merle shrugged. He didn't want to share the air with no big assed beany wearing nigger. His conscience itched at him though and he glowered at Tyreese, before swallowing quickly. He was supposed to be making an effort-no matter how much it pissed him off. It seemed that turning over a new leaf and all the shit it entailed, left a bitter taste in the mouth.
"Nuh," he grunted reluctantly. "Ain't nothin' gone down. It's been quiet."
"Well, have a good night," Tyreese stared, before inclining his head.
Merle huffed again, glancing at the ground. The sourness welled up inside him; he felt it clawing and sticking insidiously in his gut, but what the fucking hell. He was trying to change. "Uh...you too, man."
He brought his head up and focused his gaze on them. Judging from the shifty little looks the pair were shooting each other, Merle wondered exactly how much fucking watch, and how much shift were going to go on.
"Thanks," Tyreese gazed at him, before letting a smile touch at his mouth.
Merle didn't answer. He only cocked his eyebrows at them.
...
He made his way through the prison, squinting his eyes in the faint light coming in from the windows. He paused and frowned, thinking that he'd heard the slight muffled sounds of sobbing. He waited for a moment in the stillness, and hearing nothing more, made his way wearily back towards his cell.
He placed the paperback on his makeshift night stand, before shoving his boots carelessly off from his feet. He grasped the edge of his bunk and lowered himself down, sinking his head into his pillow. His eyes closed and he rested his stump tiredly across his brow, feeling the first edge of drowsiness slip over him.
He heard the noise again-the faint soft sound of muted tears, and he sat up on his bunk quickly, frowning as a sudden awareness flowed through his tired brain. He swallowed quickly as he swung his legs across the mattress, leaning his back to the wall and scratching at his cheek restlessly with his fingers. The rest of the prison were asleep, and those sounds could only be coming from one person, one person other than himself that suffered the bad dreams that kept them awake at night. He'd heard her crying a few times in the night before, and the first and last time that he'd gone to her-it had been obvious to him that she hadn't wanted him anywhere near. He hadn't gone to her since, even though the sounds had kept him awake with a frustration of knowing that she would refuse any comfort that he would awkwardly try to offer.
But now? He was fucked if he was going to let her stop him, not when his heart caught and tore with the sound of those damn tears. He pushed himself off his bunk and made his way quietly out of his cell. He left his boots where they were in a jumbled heap on the floor-there was no need of them, not in the prison block. Plus he didn't want to wake anyone else with the sound of his boots clomping up the metal gang way to her cell.
The sounds of the prison reached him, as they always did. The sonorousness tones of the others slumbering deeply in the twilight hours of the night. He bit back a smile as he heard a sudden bout of bed ridden flatulence, and he knew that could only have come from the old mans cell. Hershel would by all means be mortified if he knew, and Merle wasn't about to go and tell on him anytime soon. He had a lot of respect for the former veterinarian, liked him even. And there wasn't so many in the prison that he felt that for.
He stood in the doorway of her cell, hesitating as he saw her sat on her bunk with a blanket pulled loosely to her chest, her head clasped in her hands. She sobbed quietly again, and he chewed at his lip as he slunk into her cell quietly, stopping almost guiltily as she looked up at him. He saw the trail of tears shimmering across her cheeks, and his heart wrenched at the sight.
"Shh," he rasped, sitting on the edge of her bunk. He reached out his hand and grasped at her arm, watching as she tried to shrug him away.
He clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes as he watched her try to swat at the tears on her face. She glanced at him again, her eyes luminous and full of moisture in the thin silvery light, and he didn't even think as he smoothed his hand up her arm to her shoulder, pulling her to him. She held herself stiffly for a moment, trying stubbornly to resist, before giving in and pressing her face to his neck, her arms wrapping around him. He felt her tears hot and damp against his skin, half heard the words she mumbled against his throat.
"It's okay," he soothed, "Shh, I'm here."
"I...I'm sorry, it's just a bad dream. It's nothing," she mumbled, "I'm sorry, Merle."
He kissed the side of her head, the slight curls of her hair tickling not unpleasantly against his nose. "Don't ya say that," he whispered close to her ear, "Ya ain't got no need, not with me darlin'."
She didn't answer him, except for a slight muffled sob as she pressed closer. He closed his eyes and held her, rocking her softly against him, whispering soothing words that he never even realized he knew, all the while holding her close and trying desperately to ignore the effect that her weeping had on him.
There was a time that he would have never allowed, or even entertained the ludicrous idea that he could feel the way that he did about her, hell to even feel that way about anyone. But somehow without his knowing, she had gotten herself firmly fixed under his skin and as much as he'd tried to fight it, and by fuck he had tried-he knew that he'd lost, and he found now to his surprise that he didn't really give two shits to it. It was all so fucking new...and although at times it terrified him- he couldn't imagine anything any different now. She'd made him different. For the first time in so fucking long, she made him feel alive in a way that no amount of drugs, alcohol or sordid one night stands ever did.
His hand touched at the nape of her neck, his fingers trailing through her hair, and he leant his head to hers, his stump against her back, pressing her close. He felt her lips touch and move against his throat, felt the tears on her cheek against his skin, and he cautiously moved away from her, his eyes searching hers. Her hand caught at his chest, her fingers splaying outwards and moving across until they hovered over where his heart thumped loudly in his chest. Her lips brushed against his jaw, and he moved his head slightly against her until his mouth caught hers, and he stifled back a groan as her tongue pushed firmly at his lips.
He froze against her, reluctance creeping its way through him. His breath was tight as he inched away from her. He wasn't a complete fucking asshole.
"Honey," he whispered, "I should go." His heart pounded in his chest, and he didn't really want to leave her like this, but he knew that if he didn't-they might very well regret what could happen next. And as much as everyone else thought that he was an unfeeling asshole, he wasn't an idiot to ever take advantage of her, and never in this state.
Carol pressed her hand against his chest, her fingertips grazing his skin, "No Merle, please," her voice hitched abruptly in her chest. "Stay."
He swallowed hard, knowing all the implications in that one single damned word. Stay.
Pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead, he said quietly, "I should go, Carol. I don't want-"
"Please," she pleaded. "Stay."
He sighed as he looked at her.
His fingers touched at her cheek, and he watched as her eyes fluttered shut at his touch. The blood thudded thickly at his temples, pounding hard at his ears and as he lowered his head to hers-as his mouth eagerly sought out hers, he thought that it was the only damned sound he could hear. She shifted against him, her lips pressing firmly to his, her tongue softly and persistently pressing at his mouth, and he parted his lips to her, his arm pressing her to him as he gave himself over to her kiss. Her tongue fought with his and he stifled a groan as she kissed him, her hand on his chest smoothing across his skin, brushing across his chest and he grasped at her, kissing her deeply at the sudden friction of her hand against his nipple.
She moved against him, the blanket falling away, and Merle was all to suddenly aware that she had nothing more on than a strappy little vest top, and as he moved his hand, one strap fell loosely across her upper arm. He stopped for a moment, watching her warily. She was looking at him unwaveringly with eyes that blazed fiercely, and he knew then that he had never wanted anyone as much as he fucking wanted her. He trailed soft damp kisses down her jaw to her neck, licking and nipping softly at her skin, nuzzling her as he felt her hands slip underneath his shirt and vest, her cool hands chilly on the burn of his skin.
He paused, glancing at her with hungry eyes, "Ya sure 'bout this?"
She looked back at him with a soft little smile, and he swore his dick hardened in his pants just from that look alone. "Yes," she bit at her lip coyly, "Do you..."
"Fuckin' hell yeah," he grunted, "I've wanted ya for a long time." He frowned, and was surprised when she let out a little laugh. "Ain't funny," he said sourly.
She shook her head, smiling,"I know." She leaned to him and kissed him again, her hands roaming under his shirt, and he gasped against her mouth as she stroked her fingertips over his nipples, her nails snagging at the sensitive skin.
"Fuck," he rasped suddenly, "Ya don't know how much I fuckin' want ya." He nipped at her neck, his mouth roving over her skin, his tongue trailing warm and damply to her jaw. He paused, narrowing his eyes. "Take yer top off."
His hand tugged impatiently at the hem off her vest and she kissed him briefly before tugging at the material, pulling the vest off and letting it slide to the ground. She looked at him nervously, her eyes downcast. "I'm not as young as I was once," she said almost apologetically.
Merle let his eyes travel across her, her small creamy breasts bared to him in the faint light. He'd never minded the size of tits in the past, he didn't mind them big or small-but he was damned to hell if she didn't have the most perfect tits he'd seen in a goddamned long time. He raised his hand and touched at her gently.
"Yer fuckin' beautiful," he murmured, before lowering his head and brushing his tongue roughly across her nipple. She gasped, her hand curling about his head, holding him closer. He let his tongue answer any other questions that she might have had, and he growled suddenly against her breast, bringing his hand up and rubbing his calloused thumb over the hardened bud of her nipple. He slavered his tongue hot and wetly across her, before catching her mouth hungrily with his, his tongue thrusting into her mouth as he caressed her breasts with his rough fingered touch. He smiled against her mouth as she pushed herself against him and further into his grasp.
His breath fought tightly in his chest, and he tugged at his own shirt irritably, his mouth not moving away from hers. Her tongue was dancing and fighting with his, and he didn't want to part from her for one single fucking second more. Her hands slipped around his shoulders, pushing at the collar of his shirt and he begrudgingly moved away as she slowly slipped his shirt from off his shoulders and down past his arms. The yearning to feel her skin against his was goddamned overwhelming. He irritably discarded his shirt, and smirked as she tugged and pulled at the hem of his vest. He moved against her, letting her slowly undress him, all the while thinking that it one of the most damned sexiest things he'd ever experienced. Her lips trailed softly and then brushed more firmly across his bare skin, and he shuddered as her mouth caught and then nipped at his nipple.
"Yer fuckin' killin' me," he rasped thickly, hearing her soft laugh as her hands dropped lower and fumbled at the waist band of his pants. Her fingers tugged at his belt, loosening it, then popping the button of his pants. She slid his zipper down, and slipped her hand inside his briefs, and he groaned as her cool hand grasped him firmly, her fingers slipping across the length of his erection. "Jesus," he hissed as she gently rubbed her thumb across the dampening slit of his cock.
He couldn't stand it anymore, and he pushed her hand away, his one hand shakily fumbling at his pants. He managed to push them down, with no small thanks to her-she was distracting him way to fucking much with her soft mouth and even softer fingers. He grumbled as he pulled the material past his legs, irritably kicking them off, not giving a single fuck as his pants landed on the ground along where her top lay. His jockey shorts soon went flying across her cell, landing on the ground with his pants. He saw the surprise and widening of her eyes as she let her gaze sweep over him.
"I want ya so fuckin' much," he growled hoarsely, before his mouth caught at her breast again. He swirled his tongue over the tight bud of her nipple, feeling her fingers scratching at his scalp, before her other hand dipped between them and grasped at his dick. Her grip on him was firm, and she moved her hand over him, the delicious rubbing friction sending his blood pounding thickly in his ears. He kissed her throat, her jaw damply, catching her mouth and pushing his tongue in as she gripped and slowly pumped him, her fingers flowing then flexing across his rigid length. His breath ached in his throat, and his heart beat a frenzied tattoo as he felt the heady stirrings rip through him as his dick twitched in her hand, and he stiffened against her, before breaking the kiss and knocking her hand away. As much as he was enjoying the feel of her hand on his dick, and by fuck he was enjoying it-he knew damn well that he wouldn't last much longer. He wanted to come inside that sweet pussy of hers, and not in her fucking hand.
"Keep that up sweetheart, and this ain't gonna last long," he panted, before trailing his tongue damply down the soft plain of her stomach, inching downwards, and he felt her gasp and freeze against him as his touch descended lower.
"It's alright baby," he whispered, glancing up at her and seeing both fear and longing shining in her blue eyes. "Let me do this." His hand touched at her through her panties, and he growled a little at the thin material separating them, feeling her tremble at his touch. His fingers caught at the material, pulling them slowly down over hips as she raised herself to him. "Beautiful, jus' beautiful," he sighed as he tugged her panties down.
He looked at her and saw the embarrassment evident on her face. "Ya don't know it, do ya? But fuckin' hell, you are, Carol. Yer so goddamned beautiful," he whispered.
"I'm not," she sighed.
He smiled as she kicked her panties off, and then she was finally bare to him. He shook his head, staring at her."You have no fuckin' idea."
She moaned as he touched his tongue delicately at her, his stump resting across her thigh. "I ain't' gonna hurt ya," he whispered against the smooth inner skin of her thigh. He trailed hot wet kisses with his lips and tongue, nipping at her with his teeth, hearing her gasp as his scruff rubbed at her soft skin.
"I know," she panted shallowly, "I trust you."
His breath caught in his throat at her words. He touched his tongue at her, before glancing up and seeing the want in her widened oh so goddamned beautiful blue eyes. "I ain't ever gonna hurt ya."
Her eyes closed at his words, her hand skimming across his scalp. He moved against her, his stump gently moving her thigh and parting her further. He licked at her tentatively, and as soon as he heard her soft groans, the way she bucked her hips to him, he thrust his tongue at her, sucking and drinking her in, before letting his fingers join the motion of his mouth. She tasted like nothing he'd ever fucking tasted before, she was almost goddamned perfection. He heard the soft little moans she gave out as she pushed her hips at his touch, at the lapping and suckling motions of his mouth, and he felt the trembling sudden tightening of her inner walls against his fingers, and he paused, his tongue swirling and his teeth gently nipping over her delicate bundle of nerves. Her back arced against the bed, one hand catching at the edge of the bunk.
"Oh my God. Oh God..Merle," she panted as her climax rippled through her. He felt her spasming about his fingers and mouth, and as he felt the warm wetness of her against his chin, his hand-he caught her with his mouth, covering her, suckling and lapping at her as he tasted her deeply.
He ran his damp fingers softly over her skin, watching intently as she trembled at his touch, listening to the breath panting lightly in her throat. He smiled as he loomed over her and kissed her, letting her taste herself on him.
He moved away reluctantly, shifting his weight on his stumped arm, wincing a little at the sudden flare of his shoulder, sighing irritably as a sudden thought struck him, and as he shifted against her, leaning away, she looked up at him in concern.
"I ain't got no, ya know...goddamned fuckin' protection on me," he grimaced.
She shook her head, "It's okay. I can't have any, not after Sophia."
He narrowed his eyes at her, stroking at her hair with his fingers. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the side of her mouth. Her arm snaked out, catching him about his neck and pulling him back down to her. His mouth found hers again, and he kissed her deeply, his tongue surging and fighting with hers. Her fingers rubbed across his nipples, and he bit back a deep growl as he guided his dick in to her with his hand. She felt so slick and tight around him, it was fucking wonderful. He thrust slowly into her, stopping when he heard her quick gasp.
"I ain't hurting ya, am I?" he asked worriedly.
"No," she panted, her hands trailing across his back, touching at his scars. "Please...Merle. I want...I need you," she pleaded.
He pushed himself further into her warm tightness, growling softly against her throat. "Yer so wet, so goddamned fuckin' tight," he grit his teeth and sighed. "Perfection. I wanna fuck ya so bad, honey."
She kissed him, her tongue pushing hungrily at his lips, and he parted his mouth to her, pressing his tongue to hers, wanting to feel and taste her all over again.
His dick throbbed inside her wantonly, and he thrust deeply into her, his arm scooping underneath and pressing her firmly to his chest. Her hands skimmed across his back, her fingernails trailing and then digging into his skin, and she shifted her hips against him, allowing him a better and deeper access. His blood thundered heavily through his veins as he thrust into her. She gasped against his skin, her lips moving against him, and then her teeth were nipping at his throat, as her hands flattened out and gripped him tightly. He slipped slowly into her, feeling her inner walls deliciously tight around his throbbing hardness, and he withdrew, before thrusting at her again, filling her deeper. He pressed his face to her shoulder, all the while his heart yammering like crazy in his chest. He'd wanted her for so fucking long, and he knew now...that without her, he felt like he was nothing. He wanted her so badly. He was falling for her, and he couldn't fucking help it. He was falling for her hard.
She shifted her hips to him, raising her legs so they settled against his hips, allowing him a better and deeper angle, and he took it without question. Her hands slipped down his sides and grazed across his chest, her fingertips skimming and flicking over his nipples, and he pounded at her, scooping her up in his grip, even as he adjusted his weight more to his good arm. His shoulder ached like a goddamned bitch, but he didn't give a shit. He could only think about how much he fucking wanted her, and just how much he wanted to fuck her.
He groaned against her mouth as he kissed her, his lips crushing hers as his tongue swept across and plundered her mouth. She kissed him back with equal fervor, her own soft little gasps and moans spurring him on. She gasped against his mouth, against his lips as he pounded deeper into her, and he covered her mouth firmly with his, swallowing the sound of her moans of pleasure.
He pressed her closer as he pounded at her, feeling her delicious sleek tightness grip at him, and he pressed his lips firmly to hers, kissing her deeply when he felt his own groans threaten to tear from his throat. He buried his face into her neck, smothering the sound with her softness. She held on to him tightly, her arms banding about his back, even as her legs pressed him closer and he felt her warm tight slickness grasp at him, her wall's spasming raggedly against his swollen throbbing dick, pushing and spurring him onwards, and he slammed into her as deep as he could, before shuddering twice and finding his own sweet goddamn blissful release.
They trembled against each other, bathed in the hot sweating after glow of their coupling. His heart thundered rapidly in his chest, and he smoothed his hand across her fevered skin, across her taught nipples, his palm resting below her breast and capturing the frantic throb of her heartbeat.
He raised his head, watching her narrowly as he lowered his mouth to hers. She kissed him back almost lazily, and then she gave him such a beautiful small smile, her eyes shining so vividly blue that Merle felt his heart drop at the sight.
He moved against her quickly, scooping her up until he was on his back and she was pressed on top of him. Her head rested on his chest as she struggled to catch her breath. Her fingers smoothed across his skin, curling his chest hairs between her fingers, and he lay there, listening to the heavy yammering of his heartbeat. She kissed his jaw quickly, before reaching out and grabbing at the thin blanket, tugging it over the both of them.
He pressed a swift kiss to her temple, before sighing irritably. He found that he didn't want to go back to his cell, not after this-but he knew that she didn't need the local prison gossips running their damned mouths off either.
"Merle?" Carol said softly, her fingertips smoothing little patterns over his chest.
"Huh," Merle grunted reluctantly. He paused for a moment, finding that he really didn't want to escape from her warmth and comforting nakedness, and that in itself was a first for him. He'd never stayed with a bitch after he'd fucked them, but this was so different. He didn't want to leave her, but he knew that he should.
"I gotta go, 'fore some dumb fuck see's what's gone on," he glowered.
"Don't go, not just yet," she whispered.
To be honest, Merle didn't give a rats ass what the others thought. Except for his baby brother, and her. She leaned against him, her hand cupping his chin, and she smiled at him before pressing a kiss to his mouth, and then another to his jaw and throat. His breath floundered in his chest at her touch, as he wrapped one arm firmly around her shoulders.
She snuggled into him, one leg slipping between his, her hand trailing down his neck, touching and then resting against his chest. His hand hovered over hers, before resting firmly and pressing her palm to his chest. Their fingers entwined and he kissed her, smiling in the thin light as he heard her soft murmur of contentment against his skin.
…
Rick paced restlessly, Judith in his arms. He was at his wits end-he didn't know what the baby's problem was-she had been wailing and sobbing, and he had done everything he possibly could to try and soothe her.
He made his way to Carol's cell, knowing...or hoping that she'd be awake and at least able to help.
He stepped across the metal gangplank, his feet inching silently forward towards her cell... and then he froze at the sight before his eyes.
Carol lay on her bunk, but she was most definitely not alone.
Rick gaped at the sight in something that was bordering on sheer horror and confusion. Carol lay sleeping in Merle's arms. Rick saw the way that the other mans arms were wrapped around her, and the blanket half covering them both doing precious little to hide what had obviously gone on.
As he watched, Merle stirred in his sleep.
Rick clamped a hand firmly over Judith's eyes, before hurriedly stepping back a few paces into the corridor, his gaze fixed firmly beyond her cell. He snapped his mouth shut, and turned quickly on his heel, slinking back to the relative safer confines of his own cell.
If anything-the next meeting he'd attend (and he would ask it for to be held as soon as possible-first thing in the damned morning even)...he would have to insist on the necessity for privacy. A few tarpaulin sheets or thick blankets...hell any damn thing to cover over the cell doors would be a good enough of a start for now.
He sat on his bunk, jiggling Judith on his knee as he rubbed at his beard with his hand. He wondered just how long it would be before he could get rid of the disturbing mental image of Merle Dixon's naked white ass from out of his head.
...
