Italics are either flashbacks or footage of cameras from the past. In addition, in this version Roy is not a clone-there is no Arsenal/Red Arrow confusion, so Roy was never involved in Cadmus and so far Conner is the only Cadmus clone existing


It all started after Paula asked Artemis to invite Roy over for dinner to help them plan the 'Justice Banquet' that the League used for a night off to welcome new members, mourn the deceased, and praise the young, promising protégés. The first half hour before the meal was easy-they came up with good plans. During dinner, they debated certain foods and beverages for the ones going to the banquet at Ollie Queen's ballroom that he bought for work parties and meetings.

After the meal, Artemis had finished washing dishes to come into the TV room and see her mother showing Roy a small booklet.

Artemis inched closer and was horrified that Paula was showing Roy baby pictures of her daughters.

"This is when Artemis was six months old, we took her to the park and Jade put her sunglasses over her little sister, isn't that so cute-"

Artemis almost broke into tears with Roy's sudden laughter.

"MOM!" Artemis shrieked. "What are you doing?"

"I'm showing him baby pictures, honey," she said smiling softly. "When I was younger and in school, we paid tributes to all the seniors by showing baby pic-"

"Yeah, we still do this," Roy said chuckling over baby Artemis biting on a chair leg

"Not today!" Artemis wailed. "That is NOT what people do!"

"When seniors at my school graduate, we gather baby pic-"

"See, honey? They still do it. Now here, Artemis was mad that we didn't have cake, so she grabbed a broom and cracked the microwave door with it-"

Artemis huffed and stomped away as Roy laughed in a horrible asthmatic sense.

Artemis slammed her bedroom door-"Artemis! Do not slam the door, it is very unlady-like!" her mother scolded-and listened to her mother taking and explaining certain pictures to the laughing redhead. The only funny part, in Arty's opinion, was when he flipped the page and 'cooed.' "Aw, look it's one of your girls, just a little baby in the bathtub! Look at that little big belly, I could just bite it!"

Paula must have blinked. "That's me."

Artemis quietly laughed to herself at Roy's squawk until Paula pointed to one of Jade dabbing paint over one-year-old Artemis sitting on the table in overalls.

The ordeal continued literally ALL NIGHT-when Artemis confronted him the next night when patrolling, he whispered, "Gee, for the daughter of assassins, you sure had a funny childhood."

Artemis narrowed her eyes at him, and Ollie was shocked at her more-than-average aggressive behavior.

"Is everything alright?" he asked. "Did you and Wally fight or something…"

Artemis growled. "This has nothing to do with Wally…just a personal issue."

Green Arrow shrugged and aimed an arrow at a racing van attempting to avoid a police car.


Artemis thought of the plan in her math class, and she kept staring at the clock waiting for the ticking to announce the end of another school day-only a few more months to go, and she could be a junior.

She called Ollie as she hurried from the entrance and asked where he was, but he said that he was busy tonight-he and Dinah were going to a funeral and would not be back until late.

Until two in the morning, Artemis wasted sleepless hours outlining her plan, with pictures, videos, and maybe even girl 'souvenirs' if possible. She checked her watch, knew it was time to visit her mentor, and hurried to the zeta, completely forgetting about how far apart time zones were in the US.


At eleven o'clock, in Star City, Artemis ran to the Queen Estate from the telephone booth and pounded on the front door. "Ollie, Ollie, wake up please wake up-"

Squeak.

Artemis looked up at the security camera above the door turn red and move.

"Hello?" he asked annoyed over the security camera.

"Hi, Ollie," Artemis greeted waving smiling uneasily. She envisioned him frowning at her and reluctantly pulling away from his love.

"It's late, what do you want?" he moaned.

Artemis sighed. "I'm doing a presentation for school…I need video clips of young boys growing up…I wanted to know if-"

"Be right there," Ollie interrupted groggily.

Artemis waited patiently outside, struggling to not laugh about how she envisioned her results, and smiled widely at her mentor's groggily-eyed frown. "Come on in, but do what you need to do and get out of here."

He walked to the movie theater, shuffled around in the STORAGE door, and carried out a box labeled ROY'S CHILDHOOD to shove in the younger blonde's arms. "I had to waste five hours talking to strangers at the funeral, so get out of here when you have everything you need. And make sure those come back the way I'm giving them to you."

"Thank you, Ollie!" Artemis gasped hurrying out while carrying thirty pounds of DVDs, cassette tapes, and what-not and dashing to the telephone booth.

As soon as the Gotham City Library opened, she hurried to the Apple computers, shoved in several DVDs, pulled out iMovie on the computer, and dragged, exported, imported, and edited all the footage she was dragging on to the Apple application. By the afternoon, she was done, resealed the DVDs and tapes, shoved her flash-drive into the back pocket of her travel bag, and hurried back to the telephone booth.

On the night of the dinner, the League sat in long tables surrounding the room, which reminded her of the conference room in the Watchtower. The Team sat in smaller circles in front of them, talking and laughing.

Artemis was telling Zatanna about her old science teacher when she saw Dick set up a camera, projector, and was holding a handful of CDs and wires. "What's he doing?" Artemis asked.

Z looked up and smiled. "Oh, he made a small video about the history of the Justice League and he wanted to play it for us. He's still working on one for the team, so he said to not feel offended."

Artemis told her that she would be back, climbed up the steps, whispered something in Dick's ear, and he let her slide in her DVD but told her to wait before the microphone could turn on.

By the time of the actual dinner, the Team but Art sat down in small tables-Raquel and Kaldur, Megan and Conner, Wally and Dick and Roy, and Z sat beside her father at the 'big' table, and the noise diminished.

"Hello," said a loud yet recognizable voice. "No spotlight please…this is Artemis Crock, protégé to Green Arrow"-the male blond smiled and sheepishly waved at the wave of applause-"and I thought we could begin our tribute to the growing League."

The lights dimmed, and Artemis's voice boomed over the microphone. "Now, as we all know, Roy is the first of the protégés to officially join the Justice League-" She paused to smile at the round of applause and was proud to see Roy nod and shrug. "So…I figured that we share a tribute to the red archer and watch him grow from little orphan to a wonderful young man."

Few people clapped as the video started and seemed to pan in the Queen kitchen.

The camera focused on the back of a blond head. "Hey, Dinah, baby."

The blond turned over and blew a kiss. "My lovely one and son, cooking dinner, how's my boy?"

Then a little boy voice piped up. "Someone's in the Kitchen With Dinah, Someone's in the Kitchen With Dinah…" The camera focused on a little redhead boy standing on a stool working on the counter…newborn naked.

Roy's face flushed and the entire ballroom laughed hysterically. Arty grinned to herself.

"Someone's in the Kitchen with Dinah…." He shook his bare little behind in the cutest possible way.

Roy leaned toward a smirking Kaldur, who was struggling to not laugh out loud. "Do you have a bullet or something to kill myself with? That's sarcasm…"

The film-and laughter-continued for five more minutes before Artemis spoke again.

"Now," Artemis said in the microphone, I present…Roy Harper, the Magician's Assistant!"

Giovanni was standing in the center of the Queen sitting room in his uniform, little Roy standing right beside him in a small school uniform. "Greetings, my friends. I am Giovanni Zatara, the greatest magician in America. Oh, thank you, honey…this is my lovely wife, Ella..." The camera focused on a young woman with black hair and a huge baby bump. "As you can see, she is expecting, we are having a little girl…"

Zatanna's eyes watered and her father gripped her shoulder.

"Let me introduce my assistant, Roy Harper!" The boy waved happily as the League clapped. Giovanni slid his hat over the red hair and muttered something that made the boy vanish.

The League gasped.

Giovanni cleared his throat, muttered something else, and POP! Little Roy bounced out of the hat in a little white rabbit costume. "Wee!" he squealed. The League clapped and some whistled. He hopped onto the table and smiled up at the magician, who cleared his throat. He held a flag in front of the boy so that no part of his body visible was and muttered a spell.

First the boy vanished behind the flag. Then his legs and arms switched places. Then his head and feet switched. Then he steadily walked on his hands. Then his body was cut in half yet he lived.

Giovanni handed the little bunny an Italian flag and the bunny lifted the flag to Giovanni's waist…and the man's left leg was gone. He lowered the flag again, and when he lifted it the right leg vanished. He repeated his action, and both Giovanni's legs were gone. The League gaped in shock.

Roy looked at his masterwork-and his eyes widen in fear. "MY GOD! YOUR LEGS ARE GONE!" he screamed. He dropped the flag-Giovanni caught it-and ran to the kitchen crying and screaming. "I took that guy's legs, I took his legs, I'm evil, I'm bad…"

The older Roy's face burned as Dick and Wally howled and pounded on the table. He looked away from his younger self hiding under the sink and weeping. Z looked at her father, who shrugged. "I fixed it for him. He was still sad, but we continued on."

Artemis stopped the clip and inserted in a separate disc. "Here's Roy Harper…and the Great Race!"The camera shifted until it focused on Barry in black running shorts, a yellow T-shirt with a heart around "Iris" over a gentle flower and new-looking white running shoes. Beside him was little Roy wearing an identical outfit and red running shoes.

"Hello," Diana smiled into the camera holding a toy microphone. "Welcome to Justice League News, this is Diana Prince, at the first official track meet with Barry Allen verses Roy Harper!" Some of the League standing around the track hooted and clapped as Roy Harper crouched low in the same position as Barry. "On your mark-" Diana lifted a fake pistol-"get set-" the runners arched themselves-BAM! "Go!"

Barry zoomed past the boy in a blur, the young redhead standing straight looking confused. "Whoa…how did he-"

ZOOM! In a flash, Barry apparently reached forward and snatched Roy before zooming off again. A huge blur of a red tornado dashed around the track before Barry finally stopped, an ill-looking Roy in his hands.

"And the winner is…Roy Harper!" Diana smiled clapping. The rest of the League clapped, but them Roy's face swelled and-

"BLEH-eh…" A fresh pile of bile and vomit shot from his mouth and over Barry's brand new running shoes.

"Ewe," some of the women gasped and moaned. Barry's face twisted, but it was obvious he was not going to berate the child for this. Roy vomited again and his eyes rolled back into his head.

"Roy Harper…and Bath Friends!" The League gasped when the screen focused on the Queen bathtub, occupied with two little boys-one of them was dark-skinned, the other Caucasian.

"Oh my God, Kaldur, that's you," Dick whispered to the leader. The fish boy looked away, but his mentor smiled at the clip. The young boys were apparently having a good time, splashing each other and laughing.

Kaldur drew a toy boat across the surface and Roy dunked in a plastic Sebastian the crab toy. "Hey, do that thing with your arms that you showed me," little Roy beamed. Kaldur's arms tensed, his arms glowed, and slowly the bath water began to rise from the tub and up between them. Roy's baby blue eyes widen as the water inched towards the ceiling. "Cool…"

Kaldur slowly began to breathe easier and lowered the water down-before dramatically dumping it all on Roy's head. "AH!" The boy jumped and shivered. "That's cold! Like swimming in the Atlantic ocean and putting your butt in the snow cold!" Little Roy pulled his tiny leg over the edge of the tub and climbed out-

Most of the League looked away as the tiny fella walked across the bathroom before the door opened and little Roy screamed. Wally was paralyzed and Dick fell out of his chair in hysterics.

Little Roy jumped back in the bathtub and whimpered.

"Kids, it's just me," Diana said smiling. "Dinner will be ready soon, so get dressed." When she left, Kaldur looked at the camera.

"Is that thing still on?"

"I think so," Roy said. "Why? You need to go wee-wee?"

Kaldur grit his teeth and Roy swallowed.

Roy shifted himself closer to the toilet and cleared his throat. "You see the fire, the you pull out your hose-"

Roy buried his face in his hands, Kaldur grinded his teeth, and Ollie and Aquaman howled and clapped.

Later, little Kaldur followed and the door opened. "What are you doing-AH!"

"Oopies…sorry, Diana," squeaked Roy.

The camera then dropped to another scene outside the Hall of Justice, and a man's loud sighing indicated that Ollie held the camera.

"Dinah, baby? Where's Roy? Roy? Roy! Where are you?"

"Over here, Ollie! Over here!"

The camera moved up to the Hall of Justice, and on the roof was little Roy holding hands with Superman, the redhead in Superman pajamas with a bath towel tied around his neck.

Dinah screamed, but not Canary Cry, and nearly ran into the cameraman. "I'm going to fly, Dinah!" Roy squealed waving his hands wildly.

Superman smiled, wrapped his hands around the little boy's body, and soared into the sky.

Dinah gasped and clutched her heart as the man in the red cape held the little guy in his hands, the redhead's face an expression of awe and fascination. Superman smiled and slowly slid a hand up the boy's side to hold his smaller hand before repeating on the other side so Roy was flying by both his hands. Dinah gasped and shook.

"Look, guys-I'm flying! Wee…." Roy laughed and laughed and kicked in the air, smiling like a child on his birthday.

Superman smirked and back-flipped, still holding Roy's hands-Dinah yelped-and Roy squealed in happiness, kicking and laughing until, in a horrible second, his pajama bottoms slid right down from his waist and around his ankles, showing him in a pajama shirt and tiny whities.

The girls either cooed or gasped and the boys snorted. Roy sighed and turned on his cell phone as means of distraction.

Then he saw that Paula had texted him. It said Visit my aptm. now, I have smthn 2 give u.

Roy quietly slipped through the door and five minutes later walked in holding a flash-drive and collection of notecards while the ballroom was laughing about something he did with Martian Manhunter by painting his face green and chewing on Oreos to stain his teeth.

Dinah held the camera. "So, Ollie, tell me, how was the interview today?" she asked following her boyfriend with the camera.

Ollie shrugged and continued walking. "Have you seen my boy?" he asked removing his jacket.

"He's in his room sleeping," Dinah sighed. "He's so adorable when he sleeps."

Ollie nodded and walked past a door with half of Roy's body in a huge toilet.

Ollie raced back to the bathroom and Roy's face froze. "I'm going to the bathroom," he said timidly.

Megan accidentally snorted water up her nose and Wally crackled in hysterics.

The scene was in the main room at a big mansion, with a painting of the Gotham City skyline on the wall. Suddenly Roy hopped out of the dressing room and Dick screamed.

The young boy was sporting a black eye mask, caped red and green and yellow costume with elf shoes and scaly 'underpants.' "I'm Roy, the Boy Wonder!" he cheered. "I fight crime with the Dark Knight!"

Bruce leaned toward a teary-eyed Dick. "This was before your family joined the circus," he whispered.

Roy waited until Artemis managed to sneak away after hanging up the microphone, and Roy quietly crept up to the device while the League and Team laughed at a parody of the Young London "Celebrity" music video that he constructed with Conner and Megan.

Suddenly the microphone tapped. The girl stopped laughing to see Roy on stage, smirking like a maniac. "Ladies and germs, boys and curls, it is time for the amazing series Arty and Family!"

He snapped his fingers and the camera showed the Crock living room. Lawrence Crock was asleep on the couch, a blanket pulled to his chest, and dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt. It was apparent that Paula was holding the camera. On the screen bounced little Artemis, carrying a small bag and giggling. "Hey, baby girl," Paula whispered. "You going to give Daddy a m-wah?" Artemis giggled and pulled something out of the bag. Paula adjusted the camera to see Arty smoothing a purple marker over her father's lips.

The ballroom shrieked and applauded and Artemis was too paralyzed to stop-her eyes swelled watching her younger self poke a Sharpie over her father's cheeks, rub eye shadow on his forehead, and brush mascara over his eyebrows and under his nose.

Next was a scenery in a backyard, with only a few children, multi-colored adults, and the ballroom immediately realized that this was a gathering of their most notorious criminals holding…a party for the younger generation? There was Arty, her sister, Icicle Jr, the Terror Twins, and other little ones.

Paula had set up a Superman piñata and handed Jade a bat. "All right, sweetie…Get ready to hit the hero!

Roy skipped over to Arty's turn, but just before Paula could put the blindfold around Arty's eyes the girl immediately wept. "No, Mom, no! I don't want to…"

"You don't want any candy?" asked Icicle Sr. looking dumbfounded.

Artemis wailed and rubbed her eyes. "No, leave him alone, I don't want to hit him…"

"Uh, oh," a louder voice-perhaps Lawrence-muttered, "we may have a traitor in our hands, why not, baby girl?"

"Because I love him!" Artemis screamed wrapping her arms around the piñata, its left leg dangling in the air.

The ballroom laughed and clapped, and Superman snickered while Conner breathed into his hands like a paper bag.

The screaming went on until Poison Ivy sighed and gently lowered the tree so that Paula could snap the string and hand Artemis the toy. The sniffling girl wiped her nose and carried it inside.

Superman leaned toward the archer. "I think I'd like to trade protégés with you," he whispered.

"Don't even joke about that," Ollie muttered, face burning now that he knew what they were doing.

Outside were two children in a backyard, standing in a mud puddle and covered in brown…Little Artemis and Icicle Jr. laughing and throwing mud pies at each other, tackling each other to the ground and slipping on top of each other.

Artemis politely excused herself and walked out into the hallway, pulled out her cell phone, and called her mother. "Mom! How did Roy get those videos…"

"Oh, darling, I think what you were doing was foul, trying to embarrass him like that, what did you think was so wrong about him that you had to do this?"

"You showed him baby pictures! And he was laughing about them! That's why I wanted to spite him!"

Paula sighed and laughed. "Well, darling, at least we can show now that there were some highlights of your childhood…"

"What?" her daughter snapped.

Paula had hung up and Artemis stomped to the main room.

The camera turned on and Jade was smiling at the screen. "Hello, my name is Jade Crock, and I am a seventh-grader at Gotham North Middle School. Today, I will be playing the tune "Earth" by Hans Zimmer from the Gladiator soundtrack-"

Her voice was drowned out with the sound of crashing and objects falling from a great height. Jade sighed but smiled at the camera apologetically. "Excuse me for a moment, I will delete that part…" She walked out of the room and reached her destination. "Artemis, what are you-get that out of your-that's not edible, you can't eat Mom's deodorant!"

"EWE!" Megan and Zatanna squealed. Wally gagged and Dick laughed as his eyes watered. Conner grimaced and Kaldur rolled his eyes.

"Sick…"

"But…but it's so good," little Artemis's voice whined.

"Sorry, sis, you can't eat that, give me that-OUCH! STOP BITING ME, LITTLE CROCODILE!"

Artemis watched as her younger-self wailed at a popped balloon and crashed right into her father's crotch and screamed in his lap.

Next, the scene was in a school auditorium. Artemis-about seven years of age-was standing on stage with several other children in an apparent choral performance wearing a flowered dress with her hair curled. The children were singing a song about the seasons.

"Spring, Spring, here we come-"

Suddenly Artemis hunched forward just as a pile of vomit expelled from her mouth and splattered over the entire choir. Children shrieked and jumped away as vomit hit them in the heads and backs.

Once the League stopped shrieking, the camera focused on the Crock kitchen table.

Jade chuckled as the camera shook in her hands. Little Artemis was sitting in her high-chair, arms crossed, frowning, a plate of spaghetti in front of her. "Hello, this is Jade Crock, with my little sister Artemis. Mom and Dad are working-or whatever-so I had to make dinner for this little hamster. Artemis, please eat."

"NO!" Artemis spat blowing a raspberry, "Arty, how do little piggies go?"

Arty's eyes were glued to the screen and she could hear Zatanna and Wally and Dick chuckle. "Oh God," Dinah muttered.

"Show sissy how piggy eats!" Little Artemis buried her face in the plate.

The ballroom roared in laughter and clapped nonstop. "Yeah…who could have seen that coming?" Artemis muttered as Roy sat smirking to himself, Dinah holding her heart, and Ollie laughing and rocking back and forth. Conner accidentally broke the table pounding on the surface.

The camera indicated a wet, raining outdoor background. Artemis was standing in the rain wearing only a sleeveless shirt, shorts, and sandals, and shivering. She looked bashfully at the camera and began singing: "I'm a little piggy/Here is my snout"-She pushed up the cartilage of her nose and extended her nostrils-"I'm a little piggy/Oink, oink, oink/ I'm a little piggy/Here is my snout/Oink, oink, oink"-

Artemis's mouth dropped and her eyes watered. Even Bruce was chuckling and the boys were screaming in laughter and the girls were crying.

Once the dinner ended, some of the Leaguers were still laughing, others were crying in laughter, and Ollie was cursing insults and curses under his breath.


Secret: I think there's a Greg Weisman curse with his shows ending after a limited number of seasons.