Hi Again!
This chapter contains some awesome (IMO) dad jokes given to me by some of my lovely reviewers. I had a list of names to give credit, and I've gone and lost it. I've given up and started taking antihistamines, so I'm pretty groggy. Rather than leave this chapter for another day while I search for the reviews and PMs with the jokes, I hope you guys don't mind if I just say a big 'Thank you!' instead.
Once again, this chapter is unbetaed because I never ended up sending it to Fran when I had the chance. (It would have been back by now if I had!) It's also had lots of additions since being preread by NKubie and I can't recall who else (Sunshine 1220 and MechCat...I think). Thanks to everyone who has offered their input and support for both this chapter and the story.
xx Elise
~GV~
Chapter 29
The evening passed comfortably, and I couldn't help being relieved Edward's parents were making such a big effort despite how overwhelmed they must feel. They'd been justifiably upset and angry when they heard Edward's story. A part of me still was, too. Normally, I'd be in total agreement with the advice he'd given Katie about the importance of forgiveness, and I'd certainly counseled the wisdom of 'letting go of old hurts' often enough. But this felt . . . different. I didn't admit it out loud, but a small part of me hoped a prosecutor would go after Tanya, but only in a way that didn't force Edward to have to testify or reveal any of the personal details he wanted to keep private. It was probably wishful thinking to imagine it working out that neatly, but I hated that Tanya had gotten away with what she did for such a long time. Edward might not be holding a grudge, but I wasn't sure how I'd react if I saw her in person. I'd never been in a fight, and didn't imagine I'd do any real damage, but a slap to her face would probably be on the agenda.
Sighing, I wondered where my decidedly non-pacifist tendencies were coming from. I'd never considered trying to physically harm Mike or Tyler, though I think my being an adult when they'd taken advantage of me made all the difference. Hurting a child, or a teenager, no matter how tall and athletic, was in a different category in my book. Especially when that teenager had grown into someone I both loved and was in love with. Esme and Carlisle were clearly like-minded, and I'd been worried things would continue to be tense. But they kept their word to back off and let Edward handle things his way.
Esme went into 'mothering' mode, insisting on cooking a delicious three course dinner, and Carlisle kept us chuckling with a seemingly endless stream of dad jokes. When Edward tossed in a couple of his own, Katie groaned and warned him he needed to work on being a 'cool dad' not a lame one. He'd smiled and assured her he would do his best.
The next day, my dad arrived earlier than I'd expected. He must have left Forks at the crack of dawn. After he released me from a long hug, he seemed nervous, which was unusual, as he typically took things in stride. He certainly hadn't been anxious about meeting Mike. If anything, he'd been so cool and assessing that Mike had been on the back foot, a position he didn't appreciate. I hadn't known the warning signs back then, but now I would run a mile if anyone tried to keep me isolated from my family or friends. I hadn't been overly cooperative when Mike had attempted it or been receptive to when he was critical of my dad and my friends. He'd been subtle about it, but I still felt disappointed in myself for not recognizing what he was doing. When I'd refused to turn on or ignore the people that mattered to me, Mike had backed off, so I hadn't thought it was too serious an issue. I liked to think if he'd pushed back, I would have broken off the relationship. The fact he hadn't forced the issue made me think he must have felt he had enough control over me in other ways not to make a big deal out of my lack of compliance. I had a feeling if the wedding had gone ahead, that would have changed.
"Chief Swan, it's wonderful to meet you." Edward smiled warmly and put out his hand in greeting when my dad stood staring for a moment, starstruck.
"You, too, son, I mean Edward. Is it okay if I call you Edward? Not sure what else I'd call you, but anyway . . ." Charlie chuckled nervously. "So, um, feel free to call me Charlie," he added, and I had to physically prevent my jaw from dropping. Mike hadn't been granted that privilege until after we were engaged, and even then, it had been given grudgingly.
"Thank you, Charlie, and of course you can call me Edward."
Edward's smile widened with fairly obvious relief. I'd known he was nervous about meeting my dad, not that I'd blamed him. Discovering Charlie was as nervous about meeting my new boyfriend was unexpected, and I struggled to hide my amusement.
"We really appreciate you driving all the way up here," Edward said, stepping back and gesturing for Charlie to walk with us. "Why don't you come through and I'll introduce you to my folks and my daughter, Katie? Lunch will be ready in about an hour. My mom's cooking a roast, so it will be worth the wait. I'd offer you a beer but . . ." He raised a brow.
Charlie shook his head. "Yeah, a little early in the day for me. You, too, I imagine. Although you're not in training anymore, so I guess you can have beer for breakfast if you want it."
Edward chuckled. I did, too, but it was more over my dad being so flustered by meeting one of his sports idols. I could only imagine what he'd be like if I was dating one of his beloved Mariners.
The introductions went well, and I couldn't help feeling proud of Charlie. I'd forgotten how charming he could be when he tried, and I don't think I'd ever seen him try so hard. He'd even brought gifts: a bottle of wine he said we might like to open with dinner, a tray of some of Fork's bakery's finest pastries, and a whole bag of goodies for Katie. Inside was a couple of latest release YA books, a make your own Mandala kit, and a set of glitzy gel pens.
"Wow," Katie said, her eyes wide.
Charlie blushed. "Bella said you're into art, and if you're anything like she was at your age, you like reading, so I thought . . ."
"No, this is awesome. Thanks, Chief Swan."
"Charlie's good . . . or Gramps if you'd rather. Of course, I'm a bit young to be a grandfather to someone your age—" He stopped mid-sentence, and he looked to Edward in alarm. "Sorry, that was tactless of me."
Edward shrugged. "It's the truth, just as it's true I'm a little young to be Katie's dad. But I am, and I'm proud to be, so it's all good."
Edward's reply was spoken casually enough, but with the way he'd straightened those broad shoulders and put a hand on Katie's shoulder, it had the feel of a declaration. We hadn't talked about it, but I sensed he was aware that defending his position as her father against incredulity and even criticism, was going to be an ongoing issue. Charlie hadn't meant anything negative by his words, and Edward certainly didn't need me to defend him. But he was such an encouraging and positive person, I suspected 'words of affirmation' was one of his primary love languages. I suspected he'd appreciate me cheering him on in his new role.
"Edward might not have been ready to be a father when he was fifteen, I mean, who would be?" I smiled to make sure my dad knew I wasn't criticizing him for what he'd said. "But he certainly is now . . . and he's doing a great job of it, isn't he Katie?"
"He's amazing." Grinning, she put an arm around Edward's waist. "He could have been totally freaked out, or not wanted to have anything to do with me. But he's, like, the coolest dad already, and he's only been one for a week . . . well, that he's known about." Her smile faded, and color bloomed in her cheeks.
Hugging her to his side, Edward gave Katie a reassuring smile. "I'm just making up for lost time." Looking to Charlie, he added, "Katie has made it pretty easy on me so far, and Bella's been a huge help. I'm not sure how we'd have managed without her."
I ducked my head and smiled. Even when I was trying to encourage Edward, he found a way to turn it around and compliment me instead.
"Thanks," I said, reaching for his free hand. "It's been my pleasure."
Edward raised my hand to his lips and kissed it before turning back to my dad. "You raised a wonderful daughter, Charlie. If you've got any parenting pointers, I'd love to hear them. Oh, and 'dad jokes.' I could do with a few more, as I've already used all the ones I know."
Katie and I both groaned.
"You don't know what you're asking," I told Edward.
"Hey, I just so happen to be the king of 'dad jokes,'" Charlie said as we made our way out to the oversized balcony to sit and enjoy the sunshine. As the locals liked to say, 'The mountain was out,' which meant the skies were clear enough to see Mount Rainier in the distance, a noteworthy occurrence.
Leaving Charlie with Edward, Carlisle and Katie, I went to give Esme a hand in the kitchen.
"This smells amazing," I said, breathing in the delicious aromas. "But we should have planned to use the grill on the balcony, and the guys could have done the work."
Esme harrumphed. "You mean we would have prepared everything beforehand including all the salads, side dishes, and desserts, set it all up, rushed around collecting platters and utensils whenever one of the 'mighty chefs' beckoned, and then packed it all away afterwards, just so the men could take the credit for cooking the meat?"
I opened my mouth to protest then snapped it shut. That's exactly what had happened at pretty much every cookout I'd attended growing up and even the ones I'd hosted with Mike.
Esme gave me a knowing look. "I love my husband dearly, but whenever he suggests we should BBQ, so I can have a break from cooking, I'm tempted to kick him."
We shared a laugh while I silently vowed to discuss a more egalitarian sharing of household and kitchen duties with Edward. So far, we'd mostly all pitched in together, a method I preferred.
Esme and I talked for a while, getting to know one another a little better. Lunch was almost ready when I received a text from Alice letting me know she and Jasper had arrived. I met them at the door and then led them through the apartment and out to the balcony, where I introduced them to everyone. Like Charlie, Alice had come bearing gifts for Katie: a pretty, soft-hued scarf and a matching embroidered tote.
"Oh, wow, these are so cool." Katie smiled, her excitement palpable. "Bella said you work in fashion design?"
Alice launched into her favorite topic, but while my eyes would have started to glaze over after five minutes, Katie was rapt. It turned out Irina had been teaching her to sew, and she was interested in learning how to create outfits that incorporated her artistic designs. Esme soon joined the conversation, and the three of them disappeared to check out Katie's art-come-sewing room. Lunch ended up being delayed twenty minutes, but it was worth it seeing my best friend getting along so well with Katie and Esme. The meal was delicious, accompanied by a surprising amount of laughter with all the men competing to tell the lamest joke. Charlie started them off with one I'd heard countless times but always made me smile.
"What's Irish and stays out all night?" When no one answered, he gave the punch line. "Patio Furniture."
There was a moments silence while everyone comprehended the pun, followed by an entirely predictable chorus of chuckles and groans.
After a couple of moments, Carlisle raised a hand to silence everyone. "Two men walked into a bar . . . the third one ducked."
"Oh, if I had a penny for every time I've heard that," Esme muttered while the sounds of laughter mixed with pain continued.
Not to be left out, Jasper said, "I had a dream last night that I was a muffler . . . I woke up exhausted."
Alice giggled, but the rest of us moaned and booed.
"Jasper, for a lawyer, that was woeful," I grumbled. Realizing what I'd done, I held up and hands, and pleaded. "No! No!"
"What?" Edward asked in alarm.
"Quick, tell another dad joke. Once he starts on the lawyer jokes, there's no stopping him."
"Okay," Edward said, looking adorably flustered. "Um . . ." He stared around the table before his eyes widened and he blurted, "Five out of four people have trouble with fractions!"
It wasn't the funniest joke we'd ever heard, but the delivery was priceless, and we all burst out laughing. Katie had just taken a mouthful of water, and it sprayed across the table in front of her.
"I'm really sorry," she said when the noise settled down, and I was pleased by the chorus of assurance that was aimed her way.
The joke telling continued until we were all holding our sides and wiping tears from our faces. I wasn't going to tell one, as I had a tendency to give the punchline away in the beginning or forget it altogether. But then I remembered a simple one that had made me chuckle when I read it.
"I've got one," I called above the laughter. "Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?" A few random suggestions were tossed out, but no one got the punch line. "Because they're really good at it!" I punched the air triumphantly, pleased not to have messed up the joke. I'm not sure if he sensed I'd been nervous about attempting it, but Edward laughed extra loud before reaching to take hold of my hand under the table.
"Oh, that was a good one," Alice said, giving us both a smile. "I'm terrible at telling jokes, but I will say that the rotation of the earth makes my day."
It took a moment for us to catch onto Alice's joke, but when we did, the entire table collapsed into laughter once more. After that, the men took over again, competing for who could tell the lamest dad joke. Eventually, Katie raised a hand.
"I've got one," she said, smiling shyly.
We all quieted down to listen.
"Knock, knock," she said.
Her words were met with a chorus of "Who's there?"
"Canoe."
Edward raised a hand and then asked, "Canoe who?"
"Canoe please stop with the terrible dad jokes? My stomachs hurting from all the laughter!"
We all laughed, and Edward put an arm around Katie's shoulders, giving her a sideways hug. The smiles they shared brimmed with affection, and I wasn't the only onlooker who appeared a little teary eyed.
As the meal wound down, I took a moment to watch everyone talking and laughing together. That Edward's family and the people I considered to be my family were getting along so well was a huge relief. I just had to survive meeting his brother and sister-in-law, and everything would be perfect . . . well, other than having to bare our souls to the world at large in hopes they would one day leave us in peace.
After we'd all eaten our fill of Esme's signature roast and Charlie's store bought, but still delicious, pastries, we collapsed in the abundant seating in the family room. From everyone's sleepy eyed expressions and the way they were patting their bulging stomachs, it was clear I wasn't the only one suffering from a well-earned food coma. A nap sounded perfect, and I felt my eyes drifting closed. But it wasn't to be. Tucked into Edward's side, and with our hands entwined, I felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket.
"Sorry," he murmured, releasing my hand to retrieve it.
Whatever he read caused him to draw in a sharp breath.
"What is it?" I asked, concerned by the sight of his brow creased into a frown.
Edward groaned and then announced to the room at large. "It seems my big brother was too impatient to wait until later in the week to come meet his new niece and my new girlfriend. He was going to call me before they left, but then he decided to leave it until they arrived, so it would be a bigger surprise. They managed to snag a standby flight, and they just touched down at Sea-Tac."
"With Rose and the children?" Esme sat up, looking concerned. "That's a long flight with a toddler and baby."
"I told him to use my points and upgrade to business class, so hopefully it wasn't too bad. He wants the address, so they can catch a taxi, but I think I'd better get Seth on it. It's unlikely, but I don't want anyone recognizing them and following them here."
Seth suggested taking Edward's brother and his family to Edward's empty hotel suite, where they'd be staying, before coming to the apartment. That way, they could drop off their bags and hopefully lose any persistent tail. Less than an hour later, they arrived looking surprisingly fresh for having traveled four and a half hours on a plane with a three-month-old and a four-year-old. I'd seen photos, as had Katie, but she seemed as overwhelmed as I felt meeting Edward's older and even larger brother and his very attractive wife. While Rose smiled and seemed friendly if a little reserved, Emmett was a hugger. A lift you off the ground in greeting kind of hugger. At least, that's what he did to his mom and attempted with both his dad and Edward. When that failed, he and Edward did that back-slap fist bump thing some guys do.
Then Emmett's attention turned our way.
Katie stepped closer to my side and grabbed hold of my hand for comfort. Or maybe I caught hold of hers? It had been a big week for both of us, and I imagined she felt as overwhelmed as I did. Eight days earlier, I'd expected to be packing up to head home to Forks this weekend while battling feelings of failure and self-pity. Seven days earlier, I'd been on top of the world, only a little afraid my fantasy relationship come to life might turn out to be too good to be true. Not that I'd let that stop me from agreeing to spend the next two weeks with Edward. Instead of finding myself cocooned in a romantic and intimate world for two, I'd become a surrogate stepmom. Now, here I was, meeting his entire family after only dating for seven and a half days. The dream hadn't turned into a nightmare, not by a long shot, but it was still a lot to handle. How Katie had planned on spending her first week of the summer, I wasn't sure, but I could guarantee it wasn't surrounded by an entirely new family.
Emmett stepped toward us and I resisted the urge to step back. He was just so big and exuberant. For someone who was fairly reserved and had a small circle of friends and even smaller family, I was close to reaching my limits of social interaction. Katie was naturally more outgoing than me, but she seemed to be nearing her limits also.
Emmett hesitated, his expression uncertain. Then he smiled again, this time not quite so wide.
"Bella, Katie, it's awesome to meet you both. I'm Edward's better-looking and more talented brother, Emmett."
Katie gave a little wave, smiling wider when Edward came over and put an arm around her waist.
"Don't listen to a word he says," he murmured close to her ear.
Rose approached us with Charlotte in her arms and Henry beside her, which completely broke whatever ice remained. Katie was instantly enchanted in that thirteen-year-old girl, I love all small children and babies, kind of way. I liked them, too, but I wasn't one to gush. I may have melted a little when Rose placed Charlotte in my arms, as she was an adorable baby. She was also asleep, which reduced the fear factor from not having a clue what I was doing.
Once more, we retreated to the spacious family room where we spent the next couple of hours getting to know one another while Katie alternated between cooing over Charlotte and entertaining Henry.
"I wish I'd spent more time with my half-brothers when they were babies, but we only got to see them every now and then," Katie said, after coming to plop down beside Edward and me on the couch. She'd played a protracted game of tickle monster with Henry and had worn the two of them out. At her words, the various conversations that were being conducted quieted, and a wave of tension swept the room. Sensing the change from the previously relaxed atmosphere, Katie looked up to see everyone had stilled. I expected Edward to smooth over the awkward moment, but it was Emmett that came to the rescue.
"Half-brother's huh? Why don't you tell us about them?"
"Are you sure you want me to?" Katie asked, her voice small and shoulders hunched. "It's not like I'll ever see them again."
"Hey," Edward said, drawing her attention. "Of course, you'll see Daniel and Connor again. I'll make sure of it."
"But you'd have to see Tanya," Katie said, naming the elephant that had suddenly appeared in the room. "I wouldn't feel right making you do that."
"Well, I wouldn't feel right depriving you of spending time with your other brothers, so I'm sure we could work something out." He looked to me, hiding a grimace from Katie, before facing her with a more confident expression. "You don't need to worry about me, Katie. I'm a grown up . . . and a father. You'd be surprised what we can handle, especially when it's for our daughters."
Katie's frown lifted, and she nestled against Edward's other side.
"I may come to regret admitting this," he added, placing an arm around each of our shoulders with his long legs stretched out before him. "But I'd do just about anything to keep my girls happy."
Katie and I shared a conspiratorial smile, both of us aware just how lucky we were to have Edward in our lives.
"You do realize you've just given them permission to take advantage of you, bro?" Emmett said with a laugh.
Edward's smug expression didn't falter. "That's fine by me."
Emmett gave him a pointed look. "Wait until they combine forces and gang up on you."
"Wait until Charlotte's thirteen, and you're coming to me for advice. Then we'll see who's got the answers, big brother," Edward said, earning a laugh from us all.
~GV~
I hope you enjoyed this lighter chapter. Next up, we'll hear from Edward in the lead up to the interview. Only a handful of chapters left to go!
I love hearing what you think of the story as it progresses. Personally, I had fun with an uncharacteristically nervous Charlie...and the dad jokes, of course. Anyone else can't tell a joke to save their life?
On a not so fluffy note, I don't imagine it would be as easy for Edward to see Tanya in person as he made it seem to Katie. He's a strong guy, and he's in surprisingly good mental/emotional shape for someone who's been through what he did, but I think that would be asking a lot. Here's hoping they'll work out an alternative way for Katie to visit with her half-brothers sometime down the track. Your insights and suggestions are always welcome.
xx Elise
