You had to hand it to Ross, even after all that time he had known him he was still capable of surprising him. Chandler had thought that his roommate would either try to avoid the subject of Janice altogether or at least drag it out for a while like say a week until he mentioned it to him. But none of that. When Monica had left after their passionate round in his bedroom on their return from dinner at Doug and Kara's, he'd barely had time to shower and change before Ross came in, just as he'd settled down in his Barcalounger, ostensibly to read the Sunday paper, but really just to relax in post-coital bliss, maybe reminisce a little. Or a lot. And then instead of just watching TV or reading Ross handed him a beer and sat down facing him.

"Dude, we got to talk."

"Okay." As he accepted the beer Chandler wondered if Ross wanted to ask him if he could stay at their place for good, never bothering with apartment hunting anymore. It seemed hardly possible, but then this was Ross … But no.

"I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh … a thing with Janice."

Right. A thing. With Janice. Janice of the inch-long fingernails, the masses of overdone hair, the buzz saw voice and That Laugh. Janice and Ross. Even this morning he'd had trouble wrapping his head around it and now with Ross sitting at the counter and looking at him so earnestly it seemed more absurd still. And hilarious. Actually he couldn't help laughing out loud, and noting how good it felt not to have to fake his laughter this time. When he saw Ross' puzzled face, he laughed even harder.

"What, you're not mad?!"

"Why would I be mad?" Now Chandler was surprised. Surely even Ross couldn't believe he still was remotely interested in that woman, after all the trouble he'd gone to get rid of her? But apparently he did believe in etiquette.

"Well, because you know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your, uh, friend's ex-girlfriends, or possible girlfriends …"

Looking at it this way Chandler had to concede it really made sense and he nodded agreeably.

"… or girls they're related to."

He'd almost started to nod when the implication of that third rule hit him and he froze. Oh shit. What now?

"I am mad!" He got up, facing Ross squarely. "But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there." Especially and foremost that with the related girls … "Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you."

Ross smiled a little uncertainly. "Okay."

Not good enough. He really needed to make sure Ross wouldn't forget once the day came. If it ever came – well, better safe than sorry.

"I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!"

"All right." Actually Ross had offered to pay, but he had waved it, a fact he was intensely grateful for now. But there had to be more he could use to drive this home into Ross' thick skull …

"And, I want you to remember that I gave you –" he frantically dug through his pockets "twenty ... seven dollars! No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it down—let's write it down!"

"Dude, calm down, okay?" Ross held him back as he hunted for a pad, pocketing the money regardless. "I think I know what this is about."

Chandler froze again. "You do?!"

"Yes, and there's no need to worry. I didn't tell Janice that you're not really in Yemen and I'm not going to either."

"Oh." Chandler heaved a sigh of relief that wasn't entirely faked. "Well … thanks."

"You're welcome." Ross put his head to the side, frowning at him. "I mean, not that it's any of my business, but what was so hard about ending it with her that you had to go to Yemen?"

Chandler took a deep breath and gritted his teeth, trying to stare him down. When Ross didn't budge, he sighed.

"You're right – in that it's not your business."

"Okay." Ross shrugged and drank some beer, as if he really couldn't care less.

"Anyway, you'll find out yourself once you want to dump her, and can't, because she won't let you."

And now Ross smirked at him. What the hell?

"No, I won't. She already dumped me."

"What?! Why?"

"She couldn't, and I quote "take another second of my whining!" Ross grinned wryly. "Ironic, isn't it? I annoyed her so much that she needed to end it."

Chandler sat down again, for once at a loss for words, as Ross grew serious again. "And that's when I realized how whiney I had become. I mean it was really an eye opener. And I'm sorry you all had to put up with that for so long. I'll try to do better now."

"That's okay, Ross, you don't need –"

"But I do! I know I've been slacking and now I really want to start over. You know, get my job back, find a new apartment and all that ..."

Chandler abruptly cut off his protests and nodded agreeably. "Actually, that sounds really … um, awesome! I mean, not that you're not welcome here, and I'm sure our fridge and the couch will really miss you, but …"

"Yes. You're right. An apartment. I'll make that my priority now." Ross took up the paper. "Is that today's? What's today anyway?"

"The 17th. and no, it's last week's – I think the duck ate today's."

Ross sighed. "Right. Guess there's someone who really won't miss me, huh?"

Chandler nodded absently, suddenly distracted. The 17th. That meant tomorrow was the 18th. Anniversary time again. And they both had almost forgotten it.

.

.

"Happy four months anniversary!"

"Chandler! You fri - - um, what? Oh my god! I totally forgot!"

"Sh. Yeah, me too almost." Chandler hurriedly stripped off his socks and crawled under the covers, nestling up to Monica and soaking up the heat from her body.

"What time is it – oh. Why are you so early?"

"I guess Janice must have really tired your brother out today."

"Ugh." Monica almost flinched. "There's an image."

"Yeah. But don't worry, it's over already. She dumped him."

"What?!"

"Sh! Rachel!"

"Oh … um. But, wow, seriously? She dumped him?"

"Hard to believe, isn't it? She couldn't stand his whining any longer. God, why didn't I think of that? I never would have needed to go to Yemen!"

"Maybe it wouldn't have worked. She knows you much better than Ross."

"Maybe. But what really bugs me is that I actually had a lot to whine about and didn't."

"You? But what – oh. Right. That was after you broke up with -"

"Kathy. Yeah, well, and now I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault."

"Maybe, but I never wanted to even think about it again. Besides, it's so long ago now."

"A year, wasn't it? Or thereabouts."

"Minus a couple of weeks. Oops, another anniversary. But one I definitely don't want to celebrate."

"No, me neither. What else happened a year ago? Oooh, I know! Phoebe got the triplets implanted! That's definitely worth celebrating!"

"You're right. That was some weeks after Christmas. I still remember how she sat upside down on the chair."

"To let gravity do its job." Monica chuckled and then suddenly stiffened in his arms.

"What is it?"

"Um, nothing. I just … remembered something else that happened then."

"Oh? On that day?"

"Yeah. And I wanted to forget about that too."

"But what … OH! Of course, that! The apartment switch!"

Monica winced. "Please …!"

"I know." He drew her closer to him. "It must have been horrible for you. I still don't understand why you went through with it."

"Huh? We lost the bet!"

"But still, giving up the apartment … I don't think we would have gotten rid of the chick if we'd lost."

"We would have made you. Well, Rachel probably more than me."

"Maybe." He stroked her hair and let his hand slide down over her shoulders to the small of her back. "Well, for what it's worth, I did enjoy living here, but it always felt – weird."

Monica chuckled. "And yet you got so mad when we took it back. I've never seen you so upset."

"I just felt cheated, because it really is a great apartment. Even if Joey beat me to your bedroom."

"Right, I forgot. You were in Rachel's room. But at least I was in yours."

"So you were." And just like that he remembered coming back to his old room after the Knicks game when the girls had switched back and presented them with a fait accompli. Everything had been just like it was before, every piece of furniture in its accustomed place and yet it seemed different, as if the atmosphere, the feel of the room had changed. As if in the few months she'd lived there Monica had managed to make the room more habitable, warmer, more inviting somehow. And on the heels of that memory came another that made him shift uncomfortably.

"What?"

"Um … nothing."

"What? Chandler? No secrets, remember?"

He winced. "Okay. When I was back in my room, before going to sleep, I … thought about you."

"Aw, that's so sweet … but, wait a moment - what?"

"Well, not about you – you know, you as my friend, my neighbor, but … well, that you had been there, slept there, been naked …"

"Oh my god. You – you didn't … did you?"

Chandler groaned. "Maybe. Kinda. Just once or twice … it was just a fantasy, nothing more."

Monica drew back a little, staring at him. "Really? You had … fantasies about me?"

"Sometimes – yeah. I mean, considering how hot you were, um, you are …"

"Wow. But I felt so bad in those days. So low. Everything was going wrong for me, I hated my job, I lost my apartment, I wasn't the hostess anymore …"

"Aw. I'm sorry -"

"And now you're telling me you still thought I was hot?" She lowered her head until their noses touched and brushed her lips across his. "If only I had known that …"

"What then?"

She smiled. "I don't know. But I'd have felt a lot better. About everything … So tell me, what kind of fantasies?"

"Huh? Just … stuff."

"About what exactly?"

"Jeez, Monica … well, about you sleeping naked … in my bed, and dreaming … or you know, doing it with yourself …"

Monica grinned wryly. "Wow, and to think that for most of the time I didn't even have a bed in there!"

"Yeah, well, it had nothing to do with reality. It was really just fantasy."

"And did you also …?"

"What do you think?"

"Wow." Monica sighed. "I can't believe it. I was feeling so low at the time. So … worthless. No really. I spent two days fixing your apartment and almost killed myself over it, but it didn't help really. I didn't feel hot at all."

"But you were. You turned me on so much."

"What? How?"

Chandler tightened his hold on her and brushed his lips across her neck.

"A two … a one, two, three … a three, a five - a four, a three-two …"

"Oh my god!"

"… a two, a two-four-six, two-four-six … hold still, I'm losing count! … okay, two-four-six … four - a two was it? Right … four-seven, five-seven …"

"Aaargh, stop it …"

"Really?"

"NO!"

"Six-seven; seven, seven, SEVEN, SEVEN, SEVEN-SEVEN-SEVEN - - -!"

"Oh god. Oh god. You're right, that was … actually that's – that's another anniversary, isn't it?"

"And the best of all. You know ever since then just thinking about 'seven' would do it for me already."

Monica pressed her face against his chest, stifling her laughter. "Oh god, yeah, I got myself so turned on that time. Umm … yeah, like that … oh god. Oohh … And Rachel too, she couldn't look at me for hours afterwards …"

"Me too. I nearly didn't make it to the bathroom in time." He held her tightly and turned over with her, pinning her beneath him and kissing her, groaning when he felt her thigh rubbing against his hip, her foot pressing against his butt cheeks. For a while they shifted around, adjusting and fitting themselves into each other, then they kissed deeply, their tongues entwining while he slid into her, feeling rather as if she sucked him in and trapped him inside her. Almost immediately he felt himself teetering on the brink of climaxing and had to hold himself back with every last ounce of strength he could muster. Monica squirming and bucking under him only added to the sweet torture. Just when he thought his breath would give out and he wouldn't be able to go on, she became still again, stiffening and he managed just in time to clamp a hand on her mouth to stifle her scream. And then he had to press his own mouth against her pillow to stop himself from shouting out loud as his own orgasm hit.

.

When Monica's alarm went, rudely rousing them both from their aftermath stupor, it seemed to him as if only minutes had passed after they'd let go of each other and, relaxing and spooning, fallen asleep. Instead it was early morning already, Monday morning, the start of their 18th week together. And their four month anniversary.

Four months. October, November, December, January. Four months! And long months at that. It was the longest he had ever been with a woman. Including Janice. It was unbelievable. If only they could celebrate it a little longer …

"Hey!" Monica cuffed him gently. "You need to go."

"Umm. Right. Oh god … Um, wait, you don't have to work today, do you?"

Monica looked surprised. "You're right! I totally forgot. But you have to, don't you?"

Chandler sighed deeply. "Looks like it. I really wish I could phone in sick, but Doug would probably think he gave me food poisoning."

Monica winced. "You're sure he'll notice?"

"I'm afraid so. Come to think of it, I got a meeting today too. But I could leave after that!"

"Really? That's great!"

"Yeah. And this way we'll have the whole afternoon to ourselves and the whole morning to think of things to do."

Her eyes sparkled. "I can think of a bunch of things already now. Mmmh … a nice hors-d'oeuvre … followed by two, maybe three courses, very spicy of course, and juicy …"

"Ah, yes. Maybe a nice game of Hide and Seek?"

"Or Blind Man's Buff?! Wow, so that's two courses settled already!"

"Will there be dessert too?"

"Oh, there'll be dessert. Trust me. I always serve dessert!"

Chandler closed his eyes and sighed in deep bliss.