{The day of your Y/A birthday - At the titan's manor house}

The sun rising on the day of your birthday was one of the most terrifying things that you'd ever seen.

You were in your bedroom, on the top floor of the manor house that your family had claimed. Whilst resources had never meant much to your family, royals simply had to have the best. So you had tossed and turned all night whilst being caressed by a light blue sheet of silk that stuck to your skin where you had sweated in sheer terror.

It was today. The day had slowly crept on you, and then all at once it was here. Today, you would go through the operation that would turn you into a true titan, both in mind and whatever twisted soul that you had left. You'd left your window open throughout the night, looking down to the grounds. Bonfires had been lit down the street, towards the town that your family had also claimed for the titans that were travelling with you. You'd watched the titans dance around the flames, honouring the coming day. You, the titan princess, would truly become that.

More than once, the wind had shifted and beckoned to you, chilling your skin. You'd never even considered your death, but you had once sworn that it would be a spectacular one - something that would be told around campfires, years after it had occurred. The thought that one day, you'd want to end yourself... It had never struck you. Not until last night, when you'd looked out the window and worked out distances until you came to the conclusion that it would actually kill you. No, until last night, you'd have never let yourself run from anything.

But could you run from your bloodline and live with yourself? Could you run from your birth-right and still actually live with all of the titans in the world after your traitorous hide? And could you stomach running from a mess that one day, you could maybe solve?

Power. That's what queen-hood meant. There was no doubt that one day, if you took the ritual, you'd become Queen. You'd have all the power in the world to sort some things out, to change and forge and purge. Whilst titans were brutes - nasty, animalistic brutes - you had to admit that their training methods would now ensure your ability to defend your throne one day. You were the best fighter that they'd ever had.

A knock sounded at your door, and you jolted in sheer panic. Giving the open window one fleeting glance, contemplating your ability to actually throw yourself out of it, you stood up. Your black nightgown came up to the middle of your thigh, but you hardly cared about your decency at this point. Your bare feet recoiled from the freezing stone floor, but you lightly ran over to the heavy door and opened it slightly.

It was enough to see who was on the other side.

"You don't have the right to come in here," you spat, and attempted to shove the door closed. But the person on the other side stuck their foot in the gap, and taking advantage of your outraged gasp, shoved their brutish way into your cold room.

"Good morning to you too, Princess." Orion grinned at you and your heart ached at the sight of it.

Because that grin was pure evil, pure sadism and everything that was utterly titan. He'd had his teeth filed into the natural sharp fangs that all titans had, and his nails had also been shaved into cruel, pointy claws. But those weren't the worst of his looks - it was that grin, those eyes. Once so warm, so brown and kind, those eyes now looked as sharp as his mother's had – although hers had been darker. But now, her son's eyes were filled with nothing but cool contemplation of where to make you bleed.

His eyes swept your body from toe to head and back again; you fought the urge to cross your arms, and willed that the goosebumps that were rising on your arms to go away. Orion was a new titan; he had to get used to the new dynamic of trying not to go after every bit of meat that was within a suitable distance.

And you were still human, and you understood that vitality poured from you. The flush of blood on your cheeks would make his mind race about what it would taste like, and your muscles tensing in defence would make him imagine all the ways in which he could tear them apart. He was a cannibal; he'd already had his first taste of human flesh. All titans did on their first birthday of being a titan; Orion had been given a full feast in his honour, being the Princess's right hand.

Orion crossed the room to the window, looking down below at the preparations already being made. There was to be a great party, a celebration for all titans to come to. He watched with something crude flickering in his eyes, before slamming the window shut. You did your best not to flinch at the sound - you really did - but even so, your eyes betrayed you at the final moment. Seeing this, Orion smirked and sauntered towards you.

"You're rather quiet today, Princess. No biting remarks?"

You didn't deign to answer. You watched him with lethal clarity, a watchfulness that had once made titans flinch. But not him – never him. It had been true that you'd made your dislike of his new form known - from the very first day, where he'd swaggered in at breakfast to claim his normal seat next to you, your heart had sunken. After he had grinned at you with that evil, stupid grin, you'd claimed to be ill and had fled to your bedroom. No one came for you to force you to train or attend court sessions, and so you'd sobbed the day away. You'd known from that moment that he'd been taken from you, that he'd been mutilated and twisted into a savage version of the boy that you'd loved. From then, you'd spoken to him in the same way that you spoke to everyone else.

With a vile, cutting edge to your voice.

"Or perhaps," Orion continued, the rasp and growl of his voice distorting his normal speech. "Perhaps the reason there are no biting remarks is that you have finally accepted that you'll be doing enough biting later?"

"How dare you," you growl, allowing some spark to show in your E/C eyes. A flush sparked on your cheeks at his insinuation, and you decided that your patience was at an end. "Get out of my room."

"I know what you've been thinking," Orion sneered, sweeping off your words by acknowledging nothing of their existence. You might have just said nothing at all. "You must think me a fool to not know exactly why that window was open."

You cursed inwardly. Orion still knew you as well as his human-self had. It wasn't as though his memory had warped alongside his very self; and so he knew exactly how you thought, and exactly which buttons to push in order to get you to break. "I needed air," you stiffly told him.

"And there isn't enough air in the room for you?" Orion mocked, coming close and looking you right in your eyes. "How low have you sunk, Princess, to be thinking of suicide?"

"Don't talk to me about sinking beneath your standards."

"Oh?" Orion's eyes sparked at his enjoyment of this entire exchange. His voice turned lower, huskier, as he leaned in close. "Is my titan self not good enough for the magnificent titan princess? But what would her subjects say if I told them exactly what she was thinking of doing this morning?"

"Stop it."

"You wouldn't be so magnificent then, would you?"

"I told you to stop it!" This time, your words were accompanied by a very real slap across his stupid, hated face. For a moment, feral rage twisted his features and you feared that he'd forget about you and your title and instead rip you apart.

Instead, Orion bowed deeply but kept his eyes fastened on yours with cool calculation. "Indeed. What would you like me to say instead, Princess?"

"Nothing!" You cried, hating yourself for that bit of weakness that made your voice carry the sound of tears. "I want you to go away!"

Orion said nothing then, and an almost wistful look came into his eyes as you widened your eyes into a stare, trying to will the tears away. He made his way towards your wardrobe, which had once been the property of some young girl, daughter of the lord that had doubtless resided in this manor before you'd attacked. Not bothering to ask your permission, he threw the doors open and sifted through the dresses that were there before throwing one at you. You caught it instinctively, the red satin material immediately making your breathing shallower. "Put that on."

At the sound of his softer voice – as if he knew you were close to breaking – you only became more furious. "Don't give me orders."

But still you walked into the bathroom that was connected to your room, throwing the bolt across the door as soon as you were in. You heard Orion's laughter on the other side at your pathetic gesture, but you held your breath to stop yourself from freeing a sob from the cage of your chest. Kicking your nightdress away, you threw on leggings and a tunic that were always underneath the tub used as a bath. They were dirty, but they were tight fitting - and wouldn't show underneath the red dress that covered everything. You tugged the satin over your head, rinsing your face with cool water from the bucket before opening the door to your bedroom.

You took a deep breath. You loved Orion, yes. But that was not Orion, and he never would be again.

Maybe it was the leather underneath the dress, but you felt more like a fighter now. And so you wore it wonderfully well, sweeping into the room with long strides and holding your head up high. You heard Orion's sudden intake of breath as you looked at him in complete disdain, raising an eyebrow at him by your bed.

"That'll fool everyone into thinking you're every bit of a Titan Queen."

"Who says anything different?" You scornfully say, opening your bedroom door and beginning to walk down the long corridor towards the staircase to greet your family. Now, there was no trace of the tired, sad girl who had nearly cried. "Tell me their names; I'll gut them."

"For every step of the way, you can act and speak your part so well," Orion whispered softly, "but you'll never fool me. I can still remember you saying things to me, in your soft little scared voice. "You won't change," wasn't it?"

You couldn't think as you turned and slapped him – your hand once again finding that sensitive and now pink side of his cheek. The noises from downstairs went quiet, and you heard footsteps as titans began to investigate their beloved sound of violence. "Say anything else like that again," you said, in a high and imperious voice - a Queen's voice, "and I shall kill you."

You turned on your heel, prepared to stalk down the stairs, but Orion's hand obstinately found its way to grip your elbow. Before you had the chance to rip it away, your uncle appeared from the other side of the stairs. From his intrigued expression, you knew that he'd heard your threat. And yet, he said nothing but gestured for you to follow him into the crowd of people downstairs. You didn't miss his widened eyes at your dress, although you knew it was splendid. "Away, boy."

Orion's hand lifted from your skin, and you felt as though a weight had been lifted. You didn't look as he slipped away into the crowd, knowing that the very lack of caring would bother him at least a little.

"It's natural," your uncle said, snarling his words. He'd been a titan for so long that he'd probably never speak without a growl or snarl again. You shot him a sly glance, evaluating the lack of tension and will to beat you that was normally in every line in his muscular body. As your mother's older brother, he seemingly had a duty to protect the crown – and that meant protecting its legacy. When you couldn't perform, he'd make sure that you would regret it.

But that violence simply wasn't present. If anything, he looked more wired to protect you from those around you. So you took a breath and slipped your hand onto his elbow, allowing him to escort you through the curious titans and into the throne room. "What's natural?"

"For promised pairs to fight."

That was the other reason that you'd hated Orion's turning so much.

He was promised to you… In marriage.

Your birthday was spent entertaining each miserable, brutish creature that had turned up to the celebration. Your dress swished on the polished floor of the manor as you strode through each room, each time with a different beast at your side. Each time you passed the throne room, where your parents were doing entertaining of their own by accepting gifts that the titans had travelled so far to give to you, you couldn't help but peak in. Each time, there was a new titan speaking directly in front of the thrones, with a new weapon sparkling at their hips or even in their hands.

You couldn't survey the court session for long; each time, somehow, your father's eyes would sought you out and widen in an evil warning until you nodded meekly and walked out. But pride was evident behind that belittling; your father was so proud to have a titan daughter live long enough to make it to her ritual. Titan children didn't often live long enough to make it to that date - with them being human, and therefore vulnerable, it wasn't such a rare occurrence to be having a funeral instead of a ritual.

But Y/N L/N had made it, the daughter of the King and Queen of titans. A titan princess had survived; she was ready to become a mindless beast like every other creature in your world.

And now, you stood before a great bonfire as the sun was setting, and night was settling itself to watch. The flames roared higher and higher, its heat making your skin flush greatly. Hundreds of titans were looking into fires like this all along the town, feasting and drinking and fighting. But this fire was special; it was before this fire that you'd undergo your ritual.

And you still had no idea what you were going to do.

There was no window for you to leap out of, to fly once more through the wind before feeling nothing at all. There was no escape. As hands reached out for you, clawed fingers gripping your forearms with no intent of letting go, you couldn't help the panic as it barked through your body.

Your knees trembled as you were guided into standing at the front of the fire. Its heat was impossible; you couldn't breathe.

But then you were guided into kneeling onto the cool grass, your dress protesting at the movement of your knees. A titan knelt in front of you, with blond hair that was smoothed back. With one look at him and his eyes of ice, you knew that he was the one who was going to do it.

He was going to be the one to destroy even these thoughts taking place, so cut away your humanity.

He raised a bone dagger that had clearly been polished into smooth shininess especially for this occasion. Its edge was so sharp and thin, but so long. Your mouth went dry at the sight of it - that was going in your neck? Your ears hardly noticed how the titans' chanting slowed down, as if your mind was witnessing this happen and had no power whatsoever to stop it.

You opened your mouth to scream, to protest at this thing. But then a second pair of knees dropped to your side, and Orion pressed his hands towards your face. To others, it would seem to be a territorial gesture from the promised husband, warning the man performing the operation to not harm his promised wife. But as you looked up into his eyes in sheer terror, and saw his flickering wrath and giddiness, you knew it was because Orion knew you like he knew himself. He'd known you'd been about to cry out; he was now here to stop it.

A sick feeling turned your stomach as you realized that this was the final thing you'd see as a human - Orion's grinning, wicked face. This would be the final time that you'd be scared of it - the next time you'd see it, you would grin just as wickedly back.

But then there was a hiss.

And then blackness swooped in on swift wings, robbing every one of their sight.

The bonfire had suddenly, inexplicably, gone out.

For a moment, Orion's grip on your face slackened as he turned to the doctor with a hiss, as if it were his fault. And in that moment, you knew exactly what you had to do.

You'd never run so fast in your life. Your legs, fizzing like they'd just been electrified, sprinted for sheer and undiluted terror as you darted and whipped through the titans. There were no screams of terror - just laughter, as though this was one entire joke. None of them noticed as a girl scrambled through their numbers, darting and weaving her way out, away.

Except one.

As you neared the edge of the gathering, the privacy and the shelter of the surrounding woods calling your name into the wind, you only had a few seconds of warning before your father caught your arm within his iron grip and dug his nails into your flesh. You barely registered the ripping of the satin sleeves or the pain of where his nails pierced your skin – you were merely bewildered as he dragged you nearer to the woods, away from the gathering.

You said nothing as the titans around the now-dark bonfire started to yell. Orion, probably, had raised an alarm. It was a cruel play of fate - to dangle a chance of freedom in front of you to snatch it away right at the end. You'd been a fool for fleeing.

For a moment, you were startled at why your father seemed to be dragging you away. But as he glanced around, you realized exactly why. He knew perfectly well about your fear – and he didn't want the rest of his subjects to realize it. He wanted you to be Queen one day; titans would not follow a girl who had run away from her ritual.

"You cowardly human," he snarled, shoving his face near yours. "You're useless to me as a human, and you rutting know it. I'm ordering you to get your stupid hide back there and become useful to me."

"Father, I love you," you said, desperation making you giddy. As you heard the words, you realized that you'd never said those words before - and he'd never heard them.

He'd never hear them again, either.

He blinked at you, as though really seeing you for the first time.

And then his head rolled onto the floor, leaving his body standing for a few seconds until it, too, crumpled to the ground.

You tore through the rest of the dress with your twin daggers and shoved them back into their sheaths at your side. The yells around the bonfire were getting louder – you only gave a glance back towards that scene, where you'd left those beautiful shreds of a dress by your father's still bleeding corpse.

And so Y/N L/N, Princess of the Titans and murderer of her kin, ran from her father's dead body and into the night.