Une slowly sat back in her chair. She was just about ready to go through the formalities of suspending two of her top operatives. After all the three of them had seen and done and been a part of together, she could easily understand the reasons that the two of them had for acting the way they did. There were forces at work beyond any of their control, and they were putting Noin and Zechs in positions that Une certainly did not envy. They were, however, useless to her if they could not follow orders. She needed soldiers, not a soap opera. With the way things had been, both of them had been pushing the boundary of where subordinate officers should stand, and Une could not allow such insolence in anyone, regardless of station or skill. Shooting a mouth off in a private room was one thing, but bullying the medical staff and picking public fights in front of other staff members would not be tolerated.

The only thing that was keeping her from writing them up officially was the fact that retribution for such a thing would almost certainly make the suspension not worth it. Noin and Zechs would raise hell about it, but even those two at their worst would pale in comparison to the Gundam pilots who were regulars in the building, particularly that braided one. If ever someone needed to be brought in for purposes of torture, Une figured locking them in a room with Duo and telling the pilot to talk until he could talk no more was just about the cruelest thing they could do. Duo was normally not too bad, but he was more than aware of how effective telling an endless story with no point was at bothering someone. And Une was all but sure that suspending Noin and Zechs would result in constant phone calls, e-mails, personal visits, and perhaps even the odd telegram of pointless story after pointless story until she took it back.

Even that, though, seemed like a necessary evil she might just have to face. Zechs and Noin were some of the best the world had ever known, but they were so far from being able to function in the capacities she required. Between his injuries, their child, and the constant drama, they might as well be removed from the active duty rosters permanently.

With a grim sigh she closed her eyes. She was getting nowhere fast with her situation. If things did not resolve themselves soon, she was going to be forced to do something that was going to end unpleasantly for just about everyone she knew.

If it was necessary, though, she would do it. To hell with the consequences.

/

"I say we give them a full year of paid leave," Duo announced to anyone who could hear him. "Give 'em a chance to settle in and get used to all this crap they're dealing with. And don't give them a choice about it. They have to take the year off to be people."

Heero rolled his eyes. "You are not going to be able to convince Une to give them that."

"Sure I can," his partner boasted. "I talked you into joining up here full time, didn't I?"

"It was a logical decision," he returned, his voice maintaining its usual monotone way. "My skill set has been honed for missions of this nature. The number of occupations that I could turn to with any sort of feeling of fulfillment would have to be in some form of military operation. I believe in the mission of the Preventers. I can do a lot of good work here. It only makes sense that I would be here. Your ability to convince people to do something was not tested."

Duo grunted. "Right. I totally didn't walk you through that entire list years ago and literally manhandle you into a room so I could give you a presentation complete with visual aids before you actually agreed."

"If you could talk Une into it," Heero went on, choosing to ignore that last rant, "how do you propose to convince both Zechs and Noin to take a yearlong sabbatical?"

The braided pilot shrugged. "Hey, I haven't worked all the kinks out yet," he admitted. "But seriously, how much are they getting done now anyway? I mean, besides getting pissy with each other and taking up all our time with the fallout of their drama?"

Even Heero found that part hard to argue. It was understandable that they would need time to build up as a family. Whatever they had been doing was clearly not working. And due to their talent and stature, Noin and Zechs had been given a degree of leniency that no one else would have been granted. They were considered more than too valuable to lose, and as such had gotten away with behavior that anyone else would have been long since terminated for. After months of difficulties, though, it was getting more difficult to justify their actions. They were beyond talented, and were certainly at the top of the field, but both of them had been unable to perform at those high levels for some time. Zechs' injuries were a definite factor, but Noin, too, had been unable to pull it off. Between trying to care for Zechs and their son, who was still needing extra care, she had requested to stay out of the field. She simply felt that it was not possible to give her family what it needed if she was going to be gone for days, even weeks at a time.

"So, you'll help me talk everyone into this, right?"

Heero's head snapped up. "Have you completely lost your mind?"

Duo laughed. "Okay, questions one answered. You haven't tuned me out, because that was a great look on your face. Now back to the topic at hand, how do we get them to actually take time off and, you know, be with each other? And get Une to give them paid leave, they need that."

"It's not going to happen," his partner responded, looking back at his computer screen.

"Oh, it'll happen," Duo responded. "I'll find a way. Because if I can get Une to agree, then I can get Noin and Zechs time to settle in. And if I can get them to settle in, then they will be less stressed. And if they are less stressed, Noin won't be needing to vent to someone. And if Noin doesn't need to vent to someone, she'll stop calling my girlfriend at taking all her time. And if Noin stops calling my girlfriend all the time, then I can finally get some time with Hilde. And I want time with her, because I went home one day last year to find that she was M.I.A. because she had been summoned to deal with all the crap that started in the first place, and if I can't get my relationship where I want it because Hilde's dealing with their problems, which she will be because she's a caring person who just wants to help, then I either have to get Noin and Zechs to smooth seas or shoot someone."

Slowly, Heero sat back in his chair. "Are you quite through?" he asked.

"For now."

"Good." He closed his laptop and got to his feet. "We'll begin brainstorming after lunch."

A smile began forming on the American's face. "So you're in?"

"Yes," Heero sighed, "because I've known you long enough to know that if I do not assist you on this, it will be the only thing that you will talk about until it is done. So, for the good of shutting you up, I'm in."

Duo laughed. "See? I told you I could get anyone to do anything."

/

Noin smiled down at the sleeping child in the crib one more time before backing out of the room. Over the past few months, getting the boy to accept naptime had not been easy. Small as he was, and weak as he had been, that boy had been more than capable of putting up a fight when it came to the concept of getting sleep outside of his mother's arms. It had gotten easier as he had gotten stronger, but it was still not a simple practice. Needless to say, watching him sleep peacefully in his own place was always appreciated.

Taking great care to move without any more sound than necessary, she finished getting out of the room and closed his door. "Thank goodness," she whispered. It had taken an hour to get him to actually fall asleep, and she had been ready to pull her hair out by the time he had.

Down the hall, she heard a deep chuckle. "You should see the look on your face right now."

Noin rolled her eyes. "I am pretty sure it's the same one you had five minutes ago when the screaming finally stopped. I swear, you'd think we had just won a war by that look of relief."

"Not a war," Zechs defended, "just the battle. The war is not over until we never have to hear that noise again."

"So approximately never," Noin softly laughed. "God, I have no idea how someone that small can make a noise that loud and maintain it for so long. If nothing else, shouldn't that little body run out of energy faster than that?"

Her lover shook his head. "I wonder the same thing every time the hollering starts." Zechs looked away slightly, his blonde bangs shielding his eyes slightly as he added, "How you did this alone is nothing shy of miraculous."

With a half-smile on her face, Noin sat down on the couch. "While I wish I could sit here smugly and gloat about the wonder that is me, I feel obligated to remind you that I was not actually alone. Hilde did an enormous amount of the work, both for our son and for me. When the screaming would get to me, she would send me to my room with a cup of tea and order me to think happy thoughts while she took care of everything." She sighed, her eyes drifting to the wall. "I can't even begin to tell you how much we owe to her."

Zechs shifted his seat so he was facing her directly. While he could walk for short distances with minor assistance, he still found himself largely contained to his chair. "We do owe her a debt."

The little smile was gone as Noin sadly said, "More than you know." When her lover looked at her with curiosity, she sighed again. It was time to come clean.

"Zechs," she slowly admitted, "I have been very stressed lately. I know that you know that. And I'm sure you are aware of the causes of that stress. Work, our son…you…it's a lot to deal with. And I've needed help. I know I shouldn't. I know that I should be able to get through this on my own. I know that you and I have both endured worse and pulled through just fine without help. But I can't do that right now, and I've needed someone to talk to. I've needed someone to confide in." Her eyes went to the floor. "I needed someone to trust."

While instinctively he wanted to claim that he was someone she could trust, Zechs was becoming aware of the fact that perhaps he was not.

"I know I should have turned to you," she went on. "I know that you're my partner, and that everything in my life affects your life. But you've been going through so much, Zechs, and it's been so hard for you that, well, I didn't think that you were ready to understand. And I felt weak for letting my problems get to me when you're going through so much more than I am. But I needed help. I'm sorry that I couldn't do it alone, but I couldn't. I tried. I really did.

"It wasn't working, though. I was getting overwhelmed so often I felt like I was going to break. It was like something was crushing me from all sides and I couldn't get out. Sometimes it got so bad that it felt like I couldn't even breathe. Then Hilde called one day to ask how I was, and…and I told her the truth. I told her how I was feeling. I told her how overwhelmed I was. I told her how I wasn't sure from day to day if I could handle everything that was going on in my life. And I felt better after I did that. A lot better. So the next time it started feeling like the walls were caving in, I called her. And I did it again after that. And again. And again." She lowered her head completely, resting it in her hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

The emotions that swept through her partner swirled too quickly to be processed. Empathy for the pain she had been in. Fury at the knowledge of having her speak to someone else about his faults. Shame that he had not been the one she had turned to for help. Betrayal that she had not even considered turning to him as her confidant. Helplessness at his inability to give her what she had needed. All of it swirled through his soul, and none of it was within his ability to fully comprehend at that moment.

Noin's head remained rested in her hands. "I am so sorry," she apologized again. "I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't find another way."

Slowly things began to settle on Zechs. "You're sorry."

Noin flinched. His voice sounded more confused than anything else, and she tried to prepare herself for backlash to her confession. In her own heart, she believed that she had betrayed him. She had violated a trust he had always held in her when she had turned to someone else without so much as talking to him first. It was not something she had intended to do, but when someone else had reached out to her, she had grabbed hold of the opportunity and refused to let go. It had been an impulse to speak to Hilde the first time, and the relieved sensation it had brought felt like a wonderful drug. She had become addicted to it quickly, and had been turning to it faster and faster, desperate for that feeling to return. And she had become ashamed of it.

"You're sorry," Zechs said again.

His lover nodded, unable to form words at that moment.

"Why?"

"Why?" she repeated, her head still down.

"Why are you sorry?" he clarified.

She brought her head up, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not manage to speak. A few guttural sounds emitted from her throat, but those were hardly concrete information.

As he had time to fully adapt to the information, Zechs drew a slow, calming breath. "If you are sorry that you have spoken poorly of me to another person, then I accept your apology. But if you are apologizing for being weak, for needing, seeking, and accepting help, then I do not."

Sorrow filled her eyes. "Zechs…"

"No," he interrupted. "If you insist on apologizing for weakness, I will not give you forgiveness."

Again she brought her head down. It was more or less the reaction she had been anticipating, but that did not diminish from the sting she felt. The urge to apologize again rose up, but she forced it back down. If he said that he was not willing to accept an apology, then repeating it constantly was not going to help anything. "Is there anything I can do?" she softly asked.

Zechs sat back, quietly contemplating the entire situation. It still burned that she had not trusted him enough to support her in her hour of need, but he could not truly fault her. Life had slammed him with quite a bit over the past few months, and he had not been handling it as well as he had hoped. An undercover mission that should have gone without any real problems had evolved so quickly and horribly for him that he had been blindsided by it all. The desperate attempt to survive the plague that had been unleashed while keeping his to-be prisoner alive had never been part of the plan. Crashing a half ruined mobile suit into the side of a colony and barely managing to rig together a system to keep the general from dying was hardly what he had been prepared for. The exploding lamp that had damn near left him dead, and the coma that had followed, would have been hard for anyone to deal with.

But even those paled in comparison to the two things that had greeted him when he finally awoke: he was unable to move without assistance, and he was a father.

And when perfectly honest with himself, he knew that he had put almost all of his attention on the former and virtually none on that latter.

As he sat there, though, he found himself wondering just how he had missed how hard it had all been on Noin. Noin had always been so strong, so independent, and so indomitable that it had never occurred to him that she might be having her own struggles. In his own pain, he had missed it entirely.

"You will not hear me accept an apology of your weakness," he finally said, "because I do not fault you on it."

Noin froze, not sure how to react. Something seemed off about his words, and she needed more information, but she could not think of a way to acquire it without risking offending him further. She had wronged him and she knew it.

"This is what you were talking about," Zechs stated. "When you asked about what exactly we were to each other, this was what you were thinking of."

"Yes."

"Why didn't you just say it, then?" he asked. "Why wait until now?"

Slowly Noin sat up. "I don't know," she tiredly responded. "I don't think I was ever really planning to mention it, but something about hearing Hilde's name and talking about how much we owe her…it just sort of came out." Again she wanted to apologize, but again she repressed the words.

Zechs shook his head. "We have not been doing well."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"How do we fix that?"

"What?"

"How do we fix it?" Zechs asked again. "I don't want us to be like this anymore."

Noin sighed. "I don't know," she honestly answered. "I think we're doing the first part now, just talking to each other. But I don't think that's the only thing that we need to do, and I don't know what the other steps are. You are the only person I have ever loved. This is the only relationship that I have ever been in. I don't have any more experience than you do." A sad chuckle came from her as she added, "So much for me being the optimist of the relationship."

"No, it's still definitely you," Zechs said. "If we're counting on me being the optimist, we're just screwed."

She laughed lightly. "Oh god, we're hosed."

"Perhaps." Shifting slightly in his chair, his face once again became serious. "When you felt overwhelmed, you sought outside assistance."

Noin's smile vanished, and she nodded without a word.

"Did it help?"

Swallowing, she nodded again. "Yeah, it did."

Zechs looked away slightly. "I am not one for working with others," he said. "In all honesty, the idea of doing it makes me uncomfortable. However…" he found himself needing to pause before continuing. "However, I am willing to acknowledge that, perhaps, it might not be a terrible idea to consider it."

Noin was stunned. "You mean, like, counseling sessions?"

"Perhaps."

"Oh." She drew a breath, forcing herself to move forward with the conversation. "Okay, we can try something." Reaching over, she gently grasped his hand. "I know that you and I have not always been as there for each other as we should have been, but I know we'll be able to do this. I won't give up on us, Zechs. I never will."