A/N: I would like to thank ladygris for all her help with this chapter. One particular…incident was for her benefit. She knows which one I mean. ;-)

I think dwparsnip helped too but don't remember.

Haven't heard from Shadows-of-Realm for a while.

Gracias,

~Sandy

Not a Hero

Chapter 29

A Walking Shadow

NCIS

Autopsy Room

Gibbs stepped out of the elevator, his pace fast but not rushed. He'd get there when he got there. The automatic doors to the autopsy room hissed open, the smell of chemicals as easy to ignore as the cool temperature. Two men were standing over a dead body, the skin and muscles of the chest peeled back to reveal the internal organs. The older man cradled a reddish-brown organ in both hands as he slipped it onto the scale.

"What've you got for me, Ducky?"

"Ah, Jethro, you're just in time. I just received the strangest phone call. Someone named John Sheppard is apparently acquainted with your father, though why Gibbs Senior would give him this number and not his own I wasn't able to discover. It seems this young man recently acquired a cat and had no idea how to care for her. So naturally I…"

Gibbs interrupted, his blue eyes squinting slightly in annoyance. "I meant the case, Duck."

"Oh. Yes, of course. Well, sorry to disappoint you, Jethro, but this perfect human specimen of the few and the proud died of natural causes."

"You're sure?"

"Indeed I am." Gesturing Gibbs closer, he pointed to the organ on the scale. "It's his liver. Look at the ligamentum venosum and you'll see what I'm talking about…"

Somewhere Along the Gulf Coast

"What's wrong with her, doc? Why's her stomach all bloated? She looks like she swallowed a tennis ball." John watched Sparky being examined by the veterinarian. He'd already taken her temperature and weight. Now he had a stethoscope pressed to her chest.

The man removed the stethoscope and set it aside then lifted the small cat's head so he could check her teeth. She didn't like that and said so. "Just how much have you been feeding her, Mr. Sheppard?"

John shrugged. "Not sure. She's hungry all the time."

Now the vet was examining her tattered left ear and chuckling. "She's a cat. No matter how much you feed them, most cats think they're on the edge of starvation. It's up to you to control when and how much they eat."

"I can do that?"

"Can and should. And make sure she gets plenty of water and exercise. Though at her age, that won't be a problem." Sparky seemed to be fascinated by the vet's beard and long hair. While he gave John explicit instructions as to food and water intake as well as exercise, he carefully untangled her needle-sharp claws from the front of his lab coat. He sent the two of them away with samples of food, cat treats, flea meds, a temporary carrier, and a congratulations-on-your-new-pet kit.

Lorne was in the waiting room. He helped John carry the supplies and carrier to the truck and put them in the back seat.

"What'd he say?"

His hand out for the keys, John looked annoyed. "She's eating too much." He started the truck and pulled into traffic, coming to a stop at the light.

Not bothering to hide his smirk, Lorne glanced into the back seat where Sparky had decided to accept her fate…for now. "Told you so."

~~O~~

For such a small cat, Sparky had a loud voice, the high pitch making John and Evan cringe. It wasn't that anything was wrong with her aside from being in the carrier. It was more that she didn't like their music preferences. John liked Country and Evan liked Classic Rock with a little Contemporary Christian thrown in now and then. Sparky preferred Jazz so at the moment they were listening to Peggy Lee belt out "Fever" and the cat was "singing" along.

Suddenly, John yanked the wheel hard to the right. Pulling into the parking lot of a music store, he screeched into the first spot he came to. He jumped out leaving the engine running and ignoring Lorne's questions, returning a short time later with a CD. He shoved it into the player, the radio cut out and the first track began to play. The velvety smooth voice of Nat King Cole performing "Stardust" came on and a few minutes later, to the relief of both men, the cat was asleep.

At John's nod, Evan took out a remote, hit the emergency transport key and they arrived, truck and all, in the 302 Bay of the Daedalus. An Air Force tech approached as John buzzed the window down.

"Agents," the tech greeted them. "Something wrong?"

"Area 52 outside the motor pool and hurry!"

"What's the rush?"

Pointing into the back seat at the sleeping cat, John asked, "Do you wanna be here when she wakes up?"

The tech didn't respond, just tapped his headset. "Area 52. Go!"

The materialization had barely completed when Sparky began hissing and yowling. John and Evan jumped out and opened both back doors. The sound drew the attention of the maintenance crew, Alvin, Barney and Ruddy, who watched with amusement. When Evan reached for the carrier, it began shaking as she whirled and clawed at the inside causing the other men to laugh.

Backing away from the vehicle, Evan said, "It's all you, Sheppard."

John carefully pulled out the carrier and set it on the ground. He'd replaced the cardboard one with a firm-sided carrier so she wouldn't be crowded. Unhooking the latch he eased it open. But before he could reach inside, Sparky shot through the opening as if from a cannon growling and screeching threats to all who could hear.

She ignored everyone, including John, bolted into the hangar that served as the motor pool maintenance area and promptly disappeared. He chased after her, peering under vehicles and into corners. Trouble was, she was small and the hangar was very large. It was a scary place for a human, much less a cat. He tried calling her offering belly rubs and copious amounts of treats if she'd come out but it didn't work.

The maintenance men tried to go back to work but John refused to allow them to enter until he'd found Sparky and just to keep the peace with his partner, Lorne helped him.

~~O~~

It had been dark for a couple of hours now and still John sat on the hard floor outside the motor pool office waiting for Sparky to come out. Evan had lasted about an hour. Ruddy, Alvin and Barney even less. He'd opened a can of her food and put out a bowl of water hoping that would entice her.

Dora brought him a sandwich, chips and water. He'd thanked her absently setting it all aside. He didn't see her stop at the door giving him one last sad glance before closing it behind her.

Eventually his hunger got the best of him. He reached for the sandwich. Tuna. Not his favorite but he was too tired and worried to care at the moment. The wrapping crinkled as he ripped it open and extracted one half. He'd only taken one bite when he heard the plaintive meow coming from his left. "Sparky?"

Her answer was another meow, this one more inquiring as she cautiously made her way over to him. Prying the bread apart, he scooped out some of the tuna and laid it on floor so she could lap it up. When she finished that, he gave her more and kept repeating until she'd eaten the filling from both halves.

After a quick face and whisker cleaning, she sat next to him, her tail curled around her paws. Scooping her up in one hand, he stood, cuddling her close to his chest as he let them into the building and carried her to his…their room.

Someone, John guessed it was Dora, had set up Sparky's box in the bathroom. He put her down and she rushed to utilize it while he changed his clothes. She emerged from the bathroom and stood in the middle of the room sniffing the air of this strange place then jumped up beside him on the bed.

The past few nights she'd curled up against his side to sleep but tonight she lay on the pillow, her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes and went right to sleep purring softly. Before long, John had followed her.

In the Morning

John's attention was taken from watching the new addition to the shrink's office, a pair of goldfish swimming in circles, when Tish crossed her legs. Today she was wearing slacks and a sleeveless top. She clicked the pen in her hand and held it poised over the pad resting on her knee. "You've made wonderful progress in the months you've been here, John. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, doc. It's easy to talk to you. Almost as if you know what I need to talk about."

"That's flattering. But let's see if you still feel that way at the end of this session."

John didn't like the tone of her voice though it hadn't really changed. "Why?"

"Because today…" her eyes met his, "…we're going to talk about Field Medic Caitlin O'Connor."

Atlantis

Caldwell's Office

Caldwell looked up at the knock on his office door. Radek stood there, his glasses sliding down his nose and a tablet cradled in the crook of one arm. He gestured the nervous man in. "What can I do for you, Dr. Zelenka?"

"I have come to speak to you about the next phase in the interface project. We will need someone with a very strong naturally occurring ATA gene in order for the work to continue."

"Dr. Beckett's your man."

Pushing his glasses back up, Radek shifted his feet. "Dr. Beckett's is indeed the strongest on the base, at this time. However, I am told that there are others with stronger genes that are able to use the Ancient technology instinctively."

"If you're talking about Special Agent Sheppard…"

"Maybe at a later time. I would like to have the services of Special Agent Lorne, if you can arrange it."

Sitting back in his chair, Caldwell stared at Radek so long he began to fidget. "How soon would you need him and for how long?"

Excitement showed in the Czech's face. "If he can arrive in the next forty-eight hours and remain here at least three days that would be sufficient for now."

Area 52

Employee Overnight Area

Room 2B

After his session with Tish, John had planned on going into town to rent a tux for the conference, but now he didn't feel like doing anything. He went to his room, kicked off his shoes and lay down on the bed staring up at the ceiling not really seeing it. Scratching in the bathroom indicated that Sparky was up and around.

Having her with him was still odd. In all his life he'd never had a pet unless you counted the horses his family kept and sometimes raced. They had grooms to take care of them so no, the horses didn't count.

The urge to get into a poker game swelled within him but he couldn't summon the strength to get up and go. Sparky got on the bed but he ignored her.

~~O~~

Sparky heard him come into the room from her napping spot in the middle of the mat in the bathroom. Though she was excited that he was home early, she reined it in so he wouldn't get too full of himself. He'd tried to teach her the name he had for himself not knowing that she'd already given him one that was special between them and not to be shared with another.

Taking her time in the sandbox, she eventually sauntered out and jumped onto the bed waiting patiently for him to rub her ears and neck just as he always did. When he didn't, she reached out one fuzzy paw to touch the back of his hand where it lay on his stomach because sometimes he pretended he didn't know she was there. It was a game they played. But he still hadn't reacted which meant something was wrong so she tried another way to get his attention.

She made a small leap, landing on his chest. He yelped when she accidentally dug her back claws in and the next thing she knew he'd come to sitting position, both hands wrapped around her belly.

"Get the hell away from me, cat!" And without so much as a word of apology, he dropped her off the side of the bed.

The situation required additional thought so Sparky jumped first in the chair then onto the desk. Nosing aside the blinds, she got on the window sill and stared out at the desert. Her ears flicked backward as she heard him moving around on the bed getting comfortable again.

From the moment she'd seen him at the door during the horrible rain that seemed as it would never stop, she knew that he was the one whom she was destined to spend the rest of her days watching over, protecting and providing comfort. It was something she'd learned from her mother before being sent out into the world so long ago. She'd been the last of her siblings to leave, wanting to stay with her mother as long as possible, to learn from her.

And now it was time to put those teachings into practice. Making a tight turn in the confined space between the glass and the shade, she stepped daintily onto the desk, walking around the few items placed haphazardly on its surface. Stopping long enough to sniff the flat cold rectangular object that warmed when he was using it, she wondered what the fascination was. She'd watched him touch the little squares and designs flow across the top part but was none the wiser.

Twitching her tail, she looked at the bed where he was now on his side facing away from her, the sheet pulled up to his neck. He needed consoling and reassurance, and lots of it. She could sense it the moment he'd come into the room.

Jumping lightly to the floor, she went back to the bed, leapt onto the nearest corner and walked up to the pillow. She draped her upper body on his neck, feeling the tension in his body just from that small sample. Laying her head between her paws, she purred like there was no tomorrow and eventually he began to relax, his breathing slowing.

Sleep had almost claimed her when his hand reached up to rub her ears. Sighing, she knew she'd done her mother proud, and that made her feel good.

~~O~~

Evan tossed two sets of Bantos rods on the bench with his towel and water then moved to the mat for his warm-up stopping when his friend, a Marine Sergeant, entered carrying a pair of quarterstaffs.

"Cooper."

"Lorne. Ready for a butt-whoopin'?"

He grinned, watching as she twirled her long chestnut-colored hair into a bun. "Only if you are. So which first? Bantos or quarterstaff?"

"Bantos. I think I'm gettin' the hang of it."

Passing her a set, the ones he'd borrowed from Sheppard, he swung his around in circles showing off just a little. "I've only been doing this a short time so I'm probably not the best one to be teaching it."

"Well, until that little Pegasus firecracker makes a trip here, you're all I've got. Let's get to it."

He rolled his eyes at her apt description of Teyla and moved into the ready stance. They saluted and the fighting began.

Cooper was close in height to Evan and nearly as strong. Tough, opinionated, funny and a closet romantic who cried at sad movies. She was also supermodel beautiful with naturally tanned skin a few shades darker than Evan's, light brown eyes, and an incredible insight into what made him tick. In short, she was exactly the sort of woman he'd be interested in if he hadn't met Teyla.

Not that they'd been headed in that direction before he'd gone to Atlantis. She was a go-with-the-flow kind of girl, uh, Marine, one who wasn't looking for a long-term relationship beyond the platonic.

And they were both fine with that.

~~O~~

Even with Sparky's purring to relax him, John still felt like a walking shadow, without substance, transient, gone with the setting of the sun. He'd told Tish things he'd never even verbalized to himself in the years since the crash.

She'd only asked about Caitlin, nothing else. In fact, she'd purposely steered him to things like her physical description, likes, dislikes, favorite color, high school, college, enlistment in the military, pets she'd had as a child. In short, anything that would tell her not only what sort of person Cait had been, but how well he knew her. And that, apparently, told her how he felt about the woman he'd purportedly disobeyed orders to rescue.

Nudging the cat from his neck, he kicked the sheet off and sat up, rubbing his face with both hands. Slipping his shoes on again, he reached into the bedside table for his cell and wallet. No, he wouldn't get into a card game, but a beer sounded really good.

~~O~~

Cooper used a towel to blot the sweat from her face and neck. It had been a good workout and they'd both learned a few lessons today. Lorne wasn't a natural at the quarterstaff, but with practice he'd get better.

They'd become good friends since he'd come to work at Area 52 going to the occasional movie together. She enjoyed their workouts and knew he did too. After he'd gone to Atlantis, he'd come back…different. No doubt caused by the woman he'd met there. It had taken some doing but he finally admitted to the attraction. But she knew there was more to it than that.

And then there was the fact that he now had a comatose symbiote inside his head. The day after his and Sheppard's return from Florida, she and Lorne had been sparring with quarterstaffs. She'd gotten in a lucky shot rapping him on the knuckles. His eyes had flashed startling her just for a moment. He'd made an embarrassed apology in that Goa'uld voice then it was back to business.

Now she had another item she wanted to speak to him about. "Hey, Lorne. I hear tell you need a date for the big shindig in DC."

He took a drink of water then wiped his mouth on the corner of his towel. "Yeah, so?"

"I'll go with ya. Just as a friend." She stretched her triceps, first the left, then the right.

He turned his head to the side watching her. "You won't beat the crap out of me if I say no, will you?"

"Course not. But remember what they say about a woman scorned." She grinned and he returned it.

Shrugging, he nodded. "We're going up the night before. That okay with you?"

"Yeah. Ya know, maybe we should call each other by our first names for this thing."

"Sounds like a plan…Roberta."

Cooper growled. "No one calls me Roberta. Not even my folks."

Evan's hands came up in surrender. "So what should I call you?"

"Bobbie. And I'll call you Evan." Cooper stood up to stretch her hamstrings. "Just so you know, I don't get down and dirty on the first date."

"This isn't exactly a first date." She looked at him from between her knees as she touched her toes, one eyebrow lifted when she saw the glint of humor in his blue eyes and it made him grin. "But I'll leave the fuzzy handcuffs at home just the same."

With a very overplayed expression of shock, she said, "Fuzzy? You were a cop, Lorne. Why didn't you use the real things?"

Evan balled up his sweaty towel and threw it at her eliciting a squeal of disgust. She used it to snap him on the backside resulting in a playful shoving match on the way to the locker room.

~~O~~

Tish made notes on her ever-present writing pad while Evan talked about joining with the symbiote. He still had some issues with it, namely controlling the flashes when his emotions were strong. She gave him a CD of music, a DVD on meditation and the name of a Yoga instructor.

"Evan, have you spoken to John about Lee, told him the true nature of your relationship?"

He dropped his eyes to the floor, rubbing his hands together. "No. I've heard the rumors and have been waiting for a good time to tell him. I thought we'd have a chance while stuck in that hotel but…" he shrugged. "If you have advice, I'd like to hear it."

She nodded. "Any relationship, even that of partners on the job will benefit from keeping the lines of communication open. Just pick a time when the two of you are alone together, in the gym, driving into town, traveling to a mission, and in a calm and rational tone of voice, lay it all out for him."

"I will." At her dubious look, he sighed. "Soon."

~~O~~

Woolsey had approved the request that appeared on his workstation with a very high priority then sent a message to Sheila to have the concerned party notified. Not long after, he heard her door open and close, her soft footsteps whispering on the hall carpeting and smiled. She was outspoken, laidback and had a wicked sense of humor. She was also the best assistant he'd ever had. He was pleased with himself for asking her to be his best "man" at his upcoming wedding.

Checking the time, he got up and went to meet his fiancée for lunch.

~~O~~

Sheila knew where Evan would be this time of day. He always worked out between ten and eleven in the morning when not on a mission after which, he showered, responded to emails then went to lunch in the Commissary. And sure enough, there he was with Cooper, Withers and Bagwell. They were laughing at something and from the look on his face it probably had something to do with John.

"Evan, Dr. Zelenka has requested your presence on Atlantis. He'd like you there as soon as possible."

"Zelenka? Why me?"

"No idea. He made the request and the boss approved it. Don't blame the messenger." Her left eyebrow was lifted cheekily.

He gave in gracefully. "Okay." He took his leave and followed her out. "So, Sheila, I heard a rumor."

"Which one?"

Clasping his hands behind his back, he tried to keep a serious mien but she wasn't buying it because he was a poor salesman. "You and the new assistant director. Something going on there you wanna tell me about?" To Evan's surprise she actually blushed.

"Well, um, we've had lunch together a few times and dinner once." Her hands began twisting together so she shoved them in the pockets of her slacks to stop them. "He's been a perfect gentleman, if that's what you were thinking."

"I wasn't, but thanks for the info. What I wanted to say now that you've confirmed the rumor is good luck."

They came to a stop at the junction between where he was headed and the locked hallway back to her office. "Thanks. Same to you."

"Excuse me?"

Sheila didn't answer, just grinned at him. "Bye."

Atlantis

Trying to remember the way to Radek's lab, Evan walked slower than normal. If he remembered right, he took the next left then a right at the end of the corridor, up the stairs and around the first corner.

"Evan."

He turned at the sound of his name knowing who it would be. Letting his features fall into their accustomed blasé mask but with a small smile of welcome, he turned to face her. "Teyla." His eyes dropped down and back to her face. Today she was wearing the expedition uniform, gray slacks, gray shirt and jacket with colored insets, her feet tucked into boots. And like himself she kept her expression neutral, but whether from her years of being a leader or because she didn't want him to know what she was thinking, he couldn't tell. Not that it mattered. "You're looking well." Oh, great, Lorne! Why don't you tell her she has nice table manners too?

"As are you. Jennifer told me you would be visiting again and I hoped we'd have a chance to speak." Her eyes darted over his face coming back to his eyes. "I looked for you to see if you would care to have dinner with me tonight in my quarters?"

Remembering the scene he'd witnessed the last time he was here, and though he wanted to, Evan shook his head, shifting his feet. "I…that wouldn't be a good idea."

"Because…"

She's gonna make me say it. "Because you belong to someone else."

Clasping her hands together in front of her, she glanced down, allowing him a moment of reprieve from her all-knowing stare. "Kanaan and I are no longer together. He has ended our relationship, and has returned to live with our people on New Athos."

"I'm sorry to hear that." And he was, strange as it may seem.

"Of course." Teyla inclined her head in acceptance of his regret. "That is your way."

Evan resisted a shrug, waiting for her to say more. When she didn't, he thought again of their workout and the things he'd wanted, knowing it wouldn't be right to give in. "Then you know more about me than I know about myself." He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "I, uh, need to get to the lab. Dr. Zelenka's expecting me."

Her eyes darkened with irritation. "Do not change the subject, Evan."

"I'm not. Not really. I do have to go." In his mind he knew he should already be gone, but his body wouldn't obey his commands. "Look, I'm sorry if I caused trouble between you and Kanaan. You should try to work things out with him." He didn't know if she knew that her former boyfriend had been about to pop the question and didn't mention it. "I'm sure everything will be fine if you can just talk."

The irritation slowly vanished, replaced by another emotion that he couldn't decipher. "Perhaps you are right." Placing her hands on his shoulders, she tilted her head down and they touched their foreheads together. "May the Ancestors watch over you and the ones you love, Evan, son of Susan and Richard."

"And you as well, Teyla, daughter of Tagan and Torren."

Evan lifted his head, their eyes meeting once again, her hands still on his shoulders. His hands wrapped around her upper arms, intent on moving her away from him but instead, he drew her close, slowly in case this wasn't something she wanted. He did as he'd wanted to do since the moment they met.

He knew when his eyes flashed from a ripple of something inside that he couldn't put a name to. They did it when he was under emotional stress and this more than qualified. And with the flash always came the voice so he didn't speak as he lowered his head toward hers.

~~O~~

The bottom dropped out of Teyla's stomach when Evan told her she should speak to Kanaan about getting back together.

When she heard Evan was coming, she'd made the decision to travel that road not taken. She wanted to tell him that she'd been with Kanaan because he represented safety. He loved her and she him, but his presence did not inspire her to take chances, risk her heart. There was no…fire. Kanaan was safe whereas Evan, just by entering her world, had changed everything. He made her want with an urgency that frightened her.

Now, as his head moved slowly toward hers, she tilted her face up, offering her lips. When the light flashed in his eyes, she nearly pushed him away, having heard of the Goa'uld and their quest for domination in the Milky Way. But it had been explained to her how he'd come to be joined and she couldn't bring herself to leave him.

He accepted her offer, tentatively at first. Her eyes fluttered closed and she sighed, as did he. One of his hands touched her cheek, a gentle stroke that made her sigh again.

~~O~~

Teyla's long drawn out sigh as their lips touched was Evan's undoing. Suddenly, she was in his arms, her small hands wrapped around his neck and her slender body pressed to his, this time with no Bantos rods to separate them. His hands slid up and down her back trying to find some purchase in a world that had begun to spin out of control. He felt them beginning to fall and turned them, one hand slapping the wall to keep them upright and to keep his weight off of her. A voice repeatedly called his name, but it came from far away as if he were imagining it and was easily ignored.

When his lungs demanded oxygen, only then did he pull back from their kiss. Her eyes opened, the long dark lashes dropping for just a moment before boldly meeting his. In them he saw not regret, but desire. And not just desire. It was an appeal, a plea for him to continue. Instead, he released her, took a step back, one hand rubbing his face, his eyes wide as if unable to believe what he'd just done. Suddenly, the voice he'd been hearing achieved clarity. Radek had been calling him to the lab. "Oh, crap!"

He ignored Teyla's startled look at the sound of his Goa'uld voice. Turning away from her, he jogged down the hall to the corner. Getting himself under control with an effort, he tapped his headset, relieved that his voice was normal again. "This is Lorne. On my way."

~~O~~

After spending all day in the lab with Radek and his team, Evan was drained, physically and mentally. Until a few weeks ago he hadn't known about the ATA gene and now he was being used as a guinea pig to create an interface so that those without the gene could use the technology as well. Yawning, he entered the transport on the science level and got out just a few doors from his room. Someone called his name before he'd gone more than a few steps.

"Evan Lorne."

Though he didn't recognize the voice, the tone was familiar. This person was spoiling for a fight and Evan was not in the mood. He turned and was confronted with Teyla's ex, Kanaan. His dark eyes were narrowed dangerously, fists clenched at his sides. Taller even than Sheppard, he presented an imposing figure. Or he might have at any other time, but he wasn't dealing with just any Earth human.

"I would speak with you about Teyla. Now!"

TBC