Ruby Rose sat on an ammo crate in the fields north of Vale, dangling her legs and feeling bored. Weiss stood beside her, arms crossed, falling asleep on her feet. They were idling with Blue Company, talking to some new friends named Cobalt and Steele. A Paladin pilot joined their huddle and crouched down into the chat.

Pilot said, "Nice weather."

Steele nodded, "Yup."

Cobalt added, "Mhm."

Ruby nodded her agreement.

Weiss' head lolled over to one side, then straightened when her balance alarmed her.

She asked, "Are we starting yet?"

Steele shook his head. "Nah. Muster was at Null-Eight-Hundred, and we've only been out here for an hour. It's probably starting in another twenty."

Their radios all crackled, snapped, and then announced in dulcet tones, "All forces, this is Eidolon."

Cobalt elbowed Steele. "Hey. It's that Merlot chick."

"Who?"

"You know, Fola. She's the comms officer on the carrier."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"She's got a nice voice."

"Yeah, she's pretty hot, too."

Weiss snapped, "Are you even listening? She's giving us instructions! We're supposed to listen!"

So they did.

"We will now simulate a Grimm attack of Threat Level Seven. Allow me to review radio protocol for the simulation's duration. All radio communication within the simulation will be spoken in the negative. I will give an example now. We are not being invaded by Grimm. Any emergency messages should be prefaced with warcode 'Apple.' I will now give an example. 'Apple. We are under attack.' That was just an example. All simulated orders from Vale TacCom will be pre-recorded messages. The first pre-recorded message will begin the simulation."

The broadcast ended and Cobalt snarked, "Good thing we know what to do now, right?"

"Only had that briefing five times," Steele sighed.

Their radios crackled again, and a robotic voice announced, "Simulation begins now."

Ruby hopped to her feet. "So we're starting now, right?"

"Finally," Weiss snapped.

"Don't get too excited," Steele mumbled. "It'll probably be another hour before anything happens."

Ruby growled, "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh," and flopped back onto the crates.

Weiss huffed, "Is this really what you do all day? I thought the military would be putting all of this equipment to use, but we're just standing around!"

The soldiers laughed. The laughter spread to the platoon, then the whole company as she was repeated in mocking tones.

"Oh man," Steele chuckled. "You've got a bad case of The Suck."

"What's the suck? It doesn't make my face look bad, does it?"

"Oh yeah," Cobalt nodded. "Makes you look just like that."

Ruby sat up. "Oh no! Is it contagious?"

"Very," The pilot chuckled.

Ruby's fear turned to suspicion.

She grumbled, "They're making fun of us, Weiss."

Weiss moaned, "I only signed up for this because I thought it would be fun."

The soldiers laughed harder.

"It is called a field day," Ruby noted.

Her eyes settled on the Paladin, and the soldiers settled down enough to notice. The pilot gestured over his shoulder. "Cool stuff, huh? Yeah, not everybody gets to pilot a state of the art machine."

Ruby frowned at it, waggled her head around, and said, "Naaah. I wasn't impressed."

"What?! That's- you realize this thing can take on a team of huntsmen, right?"

Ruby scrunched her nose. "Not my team."

The pilot straightened, as if accepting a challenge. Steele held out a hand.

"Hold up, Man. Yang Xiao Long's on her team. Remember that Paladin the White Fang jacked? Yang's the one who took it out."

The pilot nodded, "Oh yeah? She sucker punch its legs?"

Ruby snapped, "Hey!"

Cobalt held out his hands and barked, "Dude!"

Steele shook his head in disapproval.

Weiss waited, then said, "Ruby, she did break Mercury's leg. It's a valid criticism."

Time wore down the barriers between them. An hour later, the soldiers and the huntresses had agreed to stop arguing. The pilot had spotted something out in the field. When he came back, everyone gathered around to look at a rusted Ballistic Chain Scythe. The Paladin pilot set to work cleaning off the serial number.

"Oh man. Haven't seen one of these since my dad closed down shop. That was… Twenty years ago?"

Steele asked, "Your dad made weapons?"

"Nah. Just a wholesaler."

Weiss and Ruby looked at the weapon with concern. Ruby finally whispered to Weiss, "That looks like Blake's gun."

Weiss snapped, "Of course it does, Ruby. Blake Belladonna uses a variant of the Ballistic Chain Scythe. She's only geeked out to Yang about it like a million times."

"Guns aren't geeky," Ruby defended.

"Yeah!" The pilot agreed.

He turned to Ruby, "And yes, Shadowcat does use a variant of the everyman's weapon."

"The what?"

The pilot chuckled. "Oh, that's… Sorry. Marketing. So my dad wanted to start a business. The whole family broke into a Merlot warehouse and loaded up our trucks with these things. Only, come to find out the military had rejected them."

"I can see why," Weiss blurted. "The Schnee Enforcer is clearly a superior pistol."

"Yeah. If you can afford it. But if you're a faunus… A broke huntsman leading a revolution, for example, you need a gun that economizes."

He racked the slide, to make sure it was empty.

Ruby pointed, "The action looks really sloppy."

"Yeah it's supposed to be that loose. It takes a lot of ammo types. You can send your aura through it, .223 Freeze, .50 lightning, BPI .30-"

Weiss, incredulous, interrupted, "It can take all of those?"

"Oh yeah. It'll break in a month no matter what you feed it. Not the chassis, though. That's the important part to the faunus. When you engage the transform to melee, you get a blade that's kind of kukri-boomerang hybrid. So each faunus carries two guns. You tie a ribbon through the trigger guard, and wrap that around your wrist. So one gun, you toss up into a tree and swing around with. The other one, you shoot with. And you just alternate as you go. Check it out."

He held out the weapon and flicked his wrist. The pistol transformed half-way to a gun-assisted dagger. The transformation halted part-way, stuck on dirt.

He sighed. "Yeah, okay, it's not a great weapon. But we got 'em free, and dad realized we could sell them to the faunus. So if you're ever walking through the woods and you hear a sound like someone's dropped a bag of marbles, hit the deck and think fondly of my old man."

He tossed it back to the ground.

Cobalt walked away to stare at the clouds. Steele yawned. Weiss had already fallen asleep again. Ruby couldn't have been more excited. "Oh wow! I love guns! Check this out."

She pulled Crescent Rose from her back. "It looks like a pistol, right?"

The pilot nodded, "Well, you're a small girl, so-"

"WRONG!" She triggered the action, and Crescent deployed to its shotgun configuration, then extended to its sniper state, then unfolded to a six-foot war-scythe.

Steele yawned, "Hey, Cobalt. Check this out."

The pilot looked amazed. He held up a finger. "I got an idea."

He ran to his mech and flipped the ammo hopper open. "If I know sniper-scythes, that's a Nebula Type three, right? High-Impact receiver?"

"Actually, I made it myself. But yeah, I liked the Nebula Artificers' aesthetic, and I went high-impact, because-"

"Everything else just tickles 'em," they said in unison.

The pilot checked his surroundings for officers, then reached into the hopper and pulled out a live round. He held it up. "We use the same munitions."

Ruby had never been so excited in her life. "Oh my gosh! Is that a Schnee low-grain burn cabochon?"

The pilot nodded, eyes flaring with excitement.

Ruby rocked side to side in excitement. "I only get to use safety rounds at school. Can you fire some?"

The pilot cringed. "No. No, I cannot. I'd lose my saddle if I did that. But, uh…"

He checked his shoulders again, then tossed her the round. "If you shot one off, they'd probably just give you a weekend of detention or something, right?"

A pre-recorded message played over the radio.

"The Perimeter is not breached. All units have fifteen minutes to proceed to fallback position one and give firing orders."

Steele and Cobalt turned and sprinted to their troop transport. The sudden commotion woke Weiss and startled Ruby. She hot potato'd the round back to the Paladin pilot and ran to catch up. She and Weiss jumped into the troop transport as its wheels spun out, and they sped to the safety of the wall.

With the wind messing up their hair, Ruby and Weiss looked like they would never, ever enlist.

Weiss huffed her exertion away, looked at the mud on her heel-boots, and said, "Wow, Ruby. This is just like you said. So fun."

"Sorry, Weiss."

"Ugh. I wonder what Blake's doing."

"I dunno, Weiss. She said she was going out."

"Ruby, everything is out."

"Maybe she was going on a date."

"I don't think so. She didn't take Yang with her."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"But Yang dates boys."

"Does she?"

Ruby's eyes danced.

She realized, "Well… No. That's strange. She sure talks about it a lot, but she never does it."

"And let's face it, Ruby. Blake didn't want to go to the dance until Yang invited her. I think it's for real."

"I don't know, Weiss. My sister reeeeeealy likes boys."

"I think you should have an open mind, Ruby."

"I think you might be projecting, Weiss."

"Wow, Ruby. Really? Now you're making it weird."

The transport slowed through a gate and turned to park. They hopped out and ran up the wall, to the battlements. Ruby deployed her sniper-scythe through the rifle slat and sat into a firing stance.

Steele laid prone beside her with binoculars.

Ruby spotted motion cresting the hill they'd abandoned. She shouted, "Oh my gosh! There's something out there!"

"Yeah. That's red team," Steele mumbled, "Those poor, tormented souls."

Weiss peered out at the field and asked, "Where? I can't see anything. Ruby, describe it to me."

"I think it's a guy in a bobblehead Beowolf costume on an ATV."

"Really? A costume? Now that's just ridiculous."

Steele nudged Ruby for her attention. "Huntress, you have a designator?"

Ruby flipped her scope laser on.

"Sure do!"

"Cool. I'll talk to the cruiser. Woglinde has a five second delay to target, so designate with a lead."

She leaned down into her scope and said, "On target. Call it."

Steele tapped his helmet mic on.

"Woglinde, this is Blue Company FO. I do NOT have a fire mission. Grid Aleph 3. Mark to Mark."

Woglinde called back, "Mission holding, Blue Company. Guns are occupied and you are not at priority."

Steele released his helmet mic. Cobalt handed out water bottles. They drank. They sat for ten minutes while the ATV trundled at them.

"So… Artillery?" Weiss asked.

"Nope," Steele said.

Ruby asked, "When they said that we're not priority, did they mean, like, not, or not not?"

Cobalt mumbled, "Definitely not."

They all sat for another twenty minutes while the bobblehead on the ATV drove at them.

Ruby asked, "I did good though, right?"

Weiss sighed for attention.

Steele found a pebble on the battlement. He threw it at a lone fence post in the field. The hit had a satisfying thwack to it. Cobalt nodded appreciatively, and the soldiers spent the next few minutes throwing rocks at the post. Weiss made a pitiful attempt that she didn't repeat.

Ruby was too focused on the bobblehead. She warned, "He's gonna get us."

The ATV pulled up to the gate and stopped. The soldier in the bobblehead shouted, "I'm gonna getchya!"

Weiss had laid down on the ground.

She moaned, "Are we dead yet? Can we be dead now?"

Steele nodded down the line. "The gamemaster with the CO tells us."

They turned to look. A marine with a red helmet spoke to the Captain, who shouted, "Steele, Cobalt, the two huntresses, and everyone who is currently standing: You have ten minutes to fall back with me to line two. The rest of you are casualties."

They jumped up and ran. Fallback position two was on the far side of the highways, in the commercial district. Pedestrians stopped to take pictures of them. Steele and Cobalt waved and smiled. Ruby and Weiss sat for two hours and whined while demolitions experts pretended to drop the highways to stall the bobblehead man. As a plus, he now had to move on foot, since Beowolves would be distracted wreaking carnage in downtown.

When Weiss could sit no longer, she stood and leaned against a shop: From Dust Till Dawn. Ruby pressed her face to the glass and peered at the comic section in the back. Her eyes bulged. She tugged Weiss' sleeve.

"Weiss! Weiss, they have a new edition of-"

"No, Ruby," Weiss snapped.

"But Weiss, we're probably gonna be here a while. And I just want-"

"No!"

"I'll be quick!"

"Ruby, if I have to be bored, you have to be bored!"

"Fiiiiiine," Ruby grumbled.

At her side, Steele and Cobalt were engaged in a discussion on the finer points of women.

Steele said, "No, dude. Redheads. Okay?"

He counted on his fingers, "Pyrrha Nikkos."

"Of course," Cobalt said academically.

"Athena."

"No, that's cheating. They're basically the same."

"No, dude. Blondes are all the same. You got Winter Schnee and the Snow Queen, so I get two. And here's three, okay? Fola Merlot."

Ruby and Weiss glared at them.

Steele held his arms out. "What? You're not on his side, are you?"

Weiss snapped, "Winter is my sister!"

"Okay, but she does look like the Snow Queen of Mantle. It's not just me, right?"

"Who cares? The Snow Queen is a myth. And besides, you can't just reduce people to their hair color. Looks are more about how you carry yourself and what you wear and how you speak."

Steel and Cobalt looked at each other. They laughed. Cobalt nudged Weiss. "You got someone in mind?"

"W-w-well, I mean…"

Ruby noticed a blush. She prodded, "Weiss? Do you?"

"Well, I mean, j-just as an example, if we were discussing objectively attractive traits- I mean, since the topic isn't about our subjective preferences, I could probably think of a viable candidate for-"

Ruby leaned in closer and said, "You've got a crush on a girl."

"I do not, Ruby! I was just going to say that Professor Glynda Goodwitch carries herself very well!"

Cobalt pantomimed throwing a bomb at Steele's feet. "Boom! Blonde!"

Steele sucked his teeth. "I gotta give you that one. That's worth two weeks of leave right there."

Weiss stomped her foot. "You're missing the point! Ruby, help me out, here. Looks aren't just about hair color, right?"

Ruby thought through everyone she'd seen. She decided, "Remember Roman Torchwick's henchman? That girl on the White Fang train? Neapolitan? With the different colored eyes and all the colors in her hair? I thought she looked cute. Not when she was trying to kill my sister. I wasn't like, 'Oh! Cute!' But, you know."

Steele nodded, "Yeah, no I see it. We have a girl like that in the fleet. Cobalt, remember the ensign on Eidolon?"

"Oh yeah. Huh. I dunno. I thought she was kind of weird. Gotta stick with one."

Over the slope of the street, the bobblehead Beowolf emerged as the soldier jogged at them.

Steele tapped his helmet mic on and called, "Woglinde, this is Blue Company. New Fire Mission. Tar-"

The cruiser interrupted him.

"-Blue Company, Woglinde. Preface your orders with 'not!' Didn't you get the briefing?! And I am too busy to take your order. Stop asking."

Steele didn't snap anything back to them. His jaw clenched and he made an aggressive but meaningless gesture to show his frustration.

Ruby frowned, "He's gonna get us again."

The bobblehead shouted, "I'm gonna getchya again!"

Fallback position three covered only Vale's center. Steele and Cobalt stood at a street corner with Ruby and Weiss. Two blocks behind them, another pack of soldiers had retreated from Vale's other end. So Beacon Academy had fallen.

Cobalt leaned over to Ruby and Weiss to speak under his breath.

"We're supposed to call this the safe zone," he explained.

Steele finished, "But it's really called suicide square."

Weiss understood instantly.

She moaned, "Because everyone who made it here wishes they'd died."

"Yeah, this kinda sucks," Ruby said.

Her eyes lit up. "Oh! The Suck! I get it now!"

Steele and Cobalt laughed with her. They spent a few hours sitting. They watched the sun set. That long time to think did bad things to Cobalt. He'd realized the morbidity of the situation.

He said, "Dude. All of our friends are dead."

Steele nodded. "We're dead, too, man. There's no way we're getting out of this."

"Maybe we'll get artillery?"

"And then what? Every farm from here to the coast has been pillaged and trampled by the swarms. You get this far, you better make peace with your gods, man."

Cobalt pointed down the street and said, "Hey look."

There was the bobblehead Beowolf, still jogging.

Weiss whined, "This is so boooooooring."

Ruby shrugged, "At least we're not that guy."

Cobalt smiled, "What a champ."

Steele murmured, "Third time's a charm," and tapped his helmet mic.

"Woglinde, this is Blue Company. I do not have a new mission. FFO."

"Blue Company, Woglinde. Not FFO."

"Don't Send it."

"Not Sent."

Cobalt mouthed the count down from five.

Ruby flipped on her laser designator.

"I have to mark it, right?"

Steele shook his head. "Nope. FFO is Final Firing Orders. It's a preset. Vale's lost."

"Two. One…"

A flare fell from the sky and landed on the bobblehead Beowulf. The marine stopped, planted his hand on his knees, and promptly fell over from exhaustion.

Ruby felt excited. She asked, "Do we win?"

Weiss, head propped against the wall of a nightclub, closed her eyes and legitimately snored.

Steele shrugged. "I'm not sure. Should we get that guy some water?"

Over the radio, they heard the last pre-recorded message: "Simulation complete. All swarms are defeated. Vale survives."

Cobalt ripped off his helmet, slammed it on the ground and cheered. "WOO!"

Weiss startled awake.

Cobalt cupped his hands and shouted down the street, "IYAOYAS! OORAH!"

Ruby joined, "Hooray! We Win! I knew we could do it, Weiss!"

Weiss said, "Alright. Let's go home."

Ruby waved, "Bye Steele! Bye Cobalt! Sleep well!"

Cobalt laughed. "Yeah, if only. We're on guard duty till midnight."

"Ouch. Sorry. Well… Bye."

Weiss pulled her out of the awkward situation, and they started their trip back to Beacon. At the bus stop, Weiss tried to sleep against Ruby's shoulder. Ruby kept lookout. It was she who noted the troop transport driving past them, and Blake sitting in its back among a group of faunus.