The First Responder
Chapter 29
A/N Once again, thank you for your continued support.
Summary: in the last chapter, we saw Rick at the scene of the accident when he discovers his son was in danger. We also saw Michonne coming to terms with their new reality and resigning herself to give Karen whatever she wants. Luckily, though, Rick called with the good news that Marc-André was safe.
Thank you to Richonne4Life for allowing me to bend your ear.
Please enjoy this update and remember reviews are always appreciated.
Two days later, we had weathered the storm. The tally: two deaths, several downed trees, power outages throughout the state, property damage, and washed out roads due to the heavy rains, but we were still standing. Georgians are a pretty tough bunch in general, we tend to dust ourselves off and roll our sleeves up, rebuild and march on because not much keeps us down.
The morning after the rains ceased, people were out assessing and taking care of the carnage left behind, checking on one another and taking a moment to be thankful because it could have been so much worse than it was.
The September afternoon was sunny, not too hot and not too cool with not a cloud in the sky and the birds could be heard the closer we get to the residencies. But for the fallen trees and crews out clearing the overall mess which the storm left in its wake, the ride from Atlanta to King County seemed like any other ordinary day.
Marc-André fell asleep fifteen minutes into the drive, which was a good thang because the poor thang had exhausted himself calling for his mama. That being the case, I was left with only my playlist to entertain myself on the drive. The music, however, seemed to have a common thread. It featured home and family, John Denver's, Country Road took us across the county line to our home away from home. Crosby, Stills & Nash's classic extolled wisdom. It was as if each song had a little wisdom to impart on me… confirming that thangs were coming together as they should be.
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good-bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you.
It was just after 2:30 p.m. when I finally pulled into the yard and park the car. My mind was preoccupied wondering what thangs would be like now that my family was finally in one place when Billy Dean's words crooned through the speaker, it was as if he was reading my mind.
So let them be little, cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love, every day.
Let em cry, let em giggle, let them sleep in the middle.
Oh, just let them be little
I took a few minutes to check out my rearview mirror, the little man was still fast asleep in his car seat, he looked happy as if he already knew the answer. I smiled knowing at least this time when he woke up, he would finally have the one person he's been calling for the past twenty-four hours.
I was pulled back to the present when the car door suddenly opened, it was ma.
"Richard, sweetheart, I'm so glad you're both safe." She wasted no time at all removing her sleeping grandson from his seat, dad followed taking the bags from the front passenger side of the vehicle.
"Mom, Dad, y'all made out okay here?"
"We're all okay. How are you doing, son?" dad asked as I walked over to meet them.
"Tired, but I'll survive… been through worse. How are Michonne and the girls doing?"
"Resting. Michonne's exhausted…been through the wringer these past few days, but she's strong, so she'll be fine. The girls finally fell asleep a little while ago, they don't know what's going on, but they sense somethang's not right through their mother."
Ma entered the house ahead of us when I heard the car pull up behind us. We turned to see who it was; it turned out to be Aaron and Tanya. I was exhausted and this wasn't something I want to get into now. I stopped and walked back over to the car, Aaron looked every bit as exhausted too. He rolled down his window.
"Hey, man."
"Rick."
"Look, you mind if we try to piece this thang together tomorrow? Michonne's resting for the first time in days and I need some sleep, a matter of fact, we could all use a good night's sleep."
"I won't argue with you on that. Tanya?"
"Tanya can stay here with my folks. Michonne and I are taking the kids to the cottage later. We'll see you there for brunch tomorrow." I added to make sure it was absolutely clear only the necessary parties needed to be there. A gathering at my parents meant the entire crew would show up. "You good at Daryl's?" I checked to make sure thangs were still the same between them.
"Yeah, I am. I think everyone's exhausted… been a hell of a few days. Brunch it is then. Say hello to Michonne and the girls for me."
As we spoke, Tanya got out of the vehicle grabbed her bag and walked towards the house.
"Okay then," I said tapping lightly on the roof of the vehicle then walking away.
...
I was in the house for maybe five minutes when all the kids started crying at once. This wasn't good. Thankfully, there was an abundance of hands to help out. Marc-André's lament of late was for his mama. Yes, my son was now calling for his mama, my wife. My daughters on the other hand, obviously sensed I was home too.
"Ma ma. Ma ma"
"It's okay, little man, your mama's sleeping, but it won't be long now. What do you say, if I take you to her, huh?" His crying continued as I retrieved him from the playpen where ma placed him to finish his nap, I trudged up the stairs and into my old room where Michonne was slowly getting out of bed still half asleep, I passed our son to her. His little arms were already wide open for her to take him, his screams of mama joining the cacophony of wails from the nursery nearby.
"Ma ma…" he continued practically leaping from my arms.
I kissed my wife's forehead as the two, mother and son silently communicate amongst themselves, then I was off to the nursery where the girls beckoned.
Ma and dad each held a grandchild and were desperately trying to soothe them, but the crying continued.
"They aren't hungry and we just changed them. They hadn't been down long." Ma added.
I took both of my daughters and inhaled their baby scent which centred my thoughts. "It's okay angels, daddy's home now... let's sit for a moment, shall we?" I don't know what happened but as I sit myself down in the nearby armchair a stillness descends on the small room. As my parents turn to leave, I look up to see my wife entering the small space with our son in her arms. He too is calm, his head resting comfortably on her bosom fast asleep. Her locs were held back in a ponytail and I could see that she's visibly exhausted but beautiful. A sweet smile slowly appears on her beautiful luscious lips as our eyes connect. Yes, this was our new reality, three small children under one roof.
…
Marc-André's newest word mama caused my heart to stop momentarily. There was no warning, my husband walked into the room to find a zombified version of me shuffling to respond to the twins wailing. Silently, I cursed wishing for thirty more minutes of shut-eye because the stresses of the past few days had caught up with me and I'm exhausted.
He passed our son to me, but Marc-André practically leapt out of his arms the moment he saw me. The word mama cuts through the haze surrounding me like an ophthalmologist excising the milky film from an eye, only then I was able to focus with clarity. My purpose... my brother knew my purpose… I was meant to raise Marc-André. I am his mother, something the little one seems to have known from the moment we met all those months ago. His tiny hands were reading my face the same as they did that very first day. His tiny body shudders and tears cascade down both of our cheeks.
"Ma ma," he sobbed.
"Yes, baby… mama's here," I replied kissing his head and holding the precious child close to me. His sobs abate as his breathing corrects itself to mirror the rise and fall of my chest. Suddenly, the entire house was still, the wailing sirens next door were silenced too.
I was managing before, but when the girls sensed his return all hell broke loose. He's now seated there the stress of the past few days clearly visible by the dark circles beneath his eyes, but he's calm drawing energy from and giving it back to his angels whose tiny bodies rise and fell in sync with his.
Marc-André has since relaxed enough that he was now fast asleep in my arms.
My exhaustion was long forgotten the moment I walked into the nursery and my eyes met his.
His eyes said so much more, he was happy accepting our fate as parents of three because there most certainly was going to be more times like this in the not too distant future. I agreed with him, as a result, a small smile signalled our unspoken pact.
…
"Stay," his voice pleads with me as I tried leaving his side. It broke my heart, Rick had never sounded this way before. The need in his voice makes me wonder yet again what really happened in the city, but I knew he wasn't ready to talk about it. His need wasn't the physical kind because we had taken care of each other's needs.
Last night, that need was like oxygen, sitting next to one another on the sofa just holding hands erupted sparks which simply consumed us and we fed those flames until they consumed each other, so his need now was something else, something he would only reveal to me in time.
Right now, however, I had to get up and make the place descent before his parents arrive. I kissed his cheek, "I'll be right back... let me tidy up a bit we don't need a lecture."
Thirty minutes later, after tidying up the kitchen and living room, and retrieving the assortment of clothes which trailed its way back to the foot of our bed. I returned to bed this time in the big spoon position wrapping myself around my husband's sleeping form.
...
Two hours later, after our morning quickie, a shower and tending to our children's needs, the house was blissfully quiet. It was a gift from our very exhausted children.
...
He crept up behind me and hugged me from behind trailing kisses up the side of my neck, my breath hitched and I moan.
Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind this attention, but at the moment, in the kitchen, I had a sharp knife in my hand. I was busy cutting up veggies and fruit prepping food for the company who was about to descend on the place within a matter of hours, so I stopped what I was doing, turned and gave him my undivided attention.
"Sweetheart, everything okay? I know you and me… we're good, but it feels like something's not quite right."
"Yeah. We're good… just tryin' to make up for the past month." He joked.
"You can't blame me for that… but you aren't exactly starving after last night…"
"No, but I'm a growing boy." He added with that crooked smile of his.
"I can tell."
"Listen," he said demonstrating with his hand touching his ear for effect, "it's so quiet, I bet you we could take another ten minutes for you and me right here. What do you say?"
He moistened his plump bottom lip, his eyes shielded by thick long lashes held that dreamy look possibly thinking back to last night or earlier this morning while pressing himself further into me. I could feel his huge bulge straining against the confines of the denim, his hands grabbing my ass pulls me closer to him as his arousal builds and his member, the heat-seeking missile pushes against the fabric of my jeans desperately trying to find its hidden home in which to bury itself. His hot breath on my skin works against me, but for the clothes between us, we would already be engaged in the act itself. My breath hitched as light kisses trails along my collarbone up that treacherous part of my neck and my legs become more unreliable. The scent of his shampoo and the fresh scent of his soap were so damn distracting. I moaned into his mouth as our lips connected in a minty kiss.
My body's screaming yes, but my heart is hurting because I knew there was something else going on and my brain is saying go with it, talk later. It was an impossible choice because I knew this game, using sex as a distraction it was something I did at the onset of our relationship. In my case, it worked against me but I would do it again. In his case, however, it was going to tear us apart and I won't stand for that.
"You can have a whole buffet if that's what you need… if it'll make you happy, but I don't think that's what this is."
I'm a damn mess. I needed him but I was resisting his charms because I knew sex wasn't going to resolve whatever was going on with him. It was only a band-aid and we both knew it.
"Yes… but…" he said stopping what he was doing to study his effect on me.
Placing my hand between us covering his racing and heart taking a deep breath I spoke. "I love you, Rick, for better or for worse... which also means the ugly parts too. Doing this now won't make whatever it is go away. Please don't shut me out."
My words had the effect of water dousing flames. It took a full minute or two for comprehension to set in, as a result, he turned his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I'm sorry. I have thang's that I need to figure out for myself first."
"Oh?" I said not at all surprised by his response. "You know you're not alone in this, right? I'm here for you..."
"I know," he said but it wasn't something he could voice at this time. His eyes were pleading with me to understand this as we stood close with my hands cupping his face, his left hand toyed with my locs. He was conflicted whatever it was it was certainly doing a number on him. He was trying to be the dutiful husband but no doubt fearing he was losing the battle because of whatever he experienced while on duty.
"I love you too, Michonne. I promise I will let you in once I've figured it out." He answered kissing the tip of my nose then my lips before retreating at the sound of a vehicle pulling into the yard.
...
My wife's keen sense was right on the mark. I couldn't hide shit from her. These past few days have been tough. I was still trying to figure out my actions myself.
On one hand, I was the loving husband, hence my need for her, to be with her, and our family. On the other hand, there was this darker side of me, the monster who stood in a hospital room in my uniform watching over the woman in a body cast who was sleeping in the bed before me while I walk a very thin line. I didn't even think about the cop sitting outside. He trusted me enough to allow me to enter the room unsupervised, the only problem was did I trust myself? My initial intentions were questionable. I was going to tell her that she was going to relinquish her rights to Marc-André, but as it stands the talk would have to wait until she was conscious. It pissed me off to see her there sleeping like all was well with the world when it truly wasn't. My thoughts wandered to a very dark place, I knew what to do and it would be so easy too.
Never before had I experienced a clash between my professional obligation and my personal agenda until a few days ago. Karen was like a fucking cockroach, she posed a risk to my family and I was done with her games and bullshit. She almost killed my son.
At the accident site, the thought did cross my mind, I was angry then. But in the hospital room, I was miles away from a place where oversight or a minutes hesitation could have given me what I so desperately wanted without a second look. We lose people every day it was a numbers game; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose… but standing there willingly contemplating it... what does that say about me… about the Oath, I swore? What would my wife think if she knew that? What would she say? Would she still see me or something much worse?
Thankfully, I didn't have to find out right this minute. I don't like keeping secrets from her… but now we were no longer alone. There was the sound of a car engine in the distance and then there was the sound of gravel crunching under tires as the vehicle entered the yard.
