FANMAD Episode 29: "Rise of the Guardians of the Galaxy/I Love Lucy"

Peter: *Hops out of his ship* hopefully this is the right Deserted Planet. Don't want to make the same mistakes as I did on OA.

*On OA*

Hal: Are you a new Green Lantern?

Peter: I'm a bounty hunter. I hunt bounties… and stuff.

Hal: Then… How did you find this place?

Peter: Probably took the wrong turn at Alderaan.

*Meanwhile*

Peter: Aha! I found the orb! Wait… a hologram? I wonder wait it says…

Santa: Welcome to… uhh… *looks at planet listing* Morag! I am Santa Claus! And I need your help, Peter Quill. You and uhh… hold on I have my naughty list somewhere…

*Title: Rise of the Guardians of the Galaxy*

Santa: Welcome to the Kyln! I sense you will find the place to be very comfortable!

Rocket: Alright, cut the crap, why did you summon us?

Groot: I am Groot.

Gamora: No, but seriously, how many times is he going to say that?

Rocket: I don't know, however many times he wants?

Santa: First, you must escape Jail! Then you fight final boss.

Peter: Which is…?

Gamora: Ronan, I assume?

Santa: Ehhh… more like Pitch.

Rocket: Pitch.

Santa: Yes, all children are having nightmare! Pitch must be dealt with.

Peter: So, how do we escape?

Rocket: Fly out.

Peter: What?

*Suddenly everyone is in the control center, flying out of the jail cell.*

Peter: Wait, so what happened?

Rocket: I attached the battery pack to the center and hacked the system to make robots propel us out of here.

Peter: You do that often?

Rocket: Every other Tuesday.

Peter: Also, who's the big guy?

Drax: So you have a problem?

Santa: First trial complete! We must deliver the hologram to a friend of mine!

Rocket: Who is he, the Easter bunny?

*Meanwhile*

Easter Bunny: You got a rock for me?

Rocket Just as I thought this couldn't get weirder.

Easter Bunny: Listen, Mate, I don't care what you are, but if you got a stone for me, then give it.

Groot: I am Groot.

Easter Bunny: I don't care for names, just give me the stone.

Peter: Here.

*The Stone Opens*

Easter Bunny: Woah, didn't see that comin'.

Peter: what is it?

Santa: That is infinity stone!

Gamora: The stone that controls the world?

Santa: Has power to control world! Would not fall in Pitch's hands!

Easter Bunny: Dude, we stopped Pitch a few years ago. It's 2014.

Santa: Hush, bunny. We need not upset them.

Rocket: Too late for that, Gramps.

Gamora: Why are we here?

Santa: Tooth fairy is under attack by Ronan.

Drax: Ronan killed my family!

Peter: Who hasn't?

Drax: *Growls*

Gamora: We must stop him.

*Later*

Peter: Wait, is this Earth or Milano?

Rocket: Looks kinda dumpy.

Groot: I am Groot.

Gamora: I see the Ship!

Santa: I see Tooth!

Drax: I see ladies underpants!

*Everyone glares at Drax*

Drax: I thought it was funny…

Peter: Okay here's the plan, we jump on the ship, fight, and hope we win.

Rocket: and if we don't?

Peter: Everyone dies and it's officially Good Game.

Rocket: and I thought Groots plans sucked.

Groot: I am Groot!

Rocket: I know what I said.

Peter: Alright, who's with me!

Gamora: I will defeat my sister and help you stop Ronan!

Peter: You have a sister?

Gamora: Yes. Nebula.

Peter: Is she hot?

Drax: Ronan killed my family. I must kill him.

Peter: Good, good, yes, let the anger flow through you.

Groot: I am Groot.

Peter: I have no idea what that means, but ALRIGHT!

*Santa Stands up*

Santa: I will help defeat Ronan!

Peter: If you die, Christmas dies.

Santa: Good Point. Carry on. *Santa sits down*

Rocket: Yeah, fine, whatever. Let's do this.

*Later*

Nebula: Sister.

Gamora: Don't expect me to call you the same.

Nebula: Call me whatever you want, that won't make you daddies favorite.

Gamora: I already am, and you can have it if you want to.

Nebula: You ARE full of it!

*fight scene*

*Meanwhile*

Ronan: You have been met with a terrible fate, Star Lord!

Peter: So that name DOES go around, doesn't it?

Ronan: Only as 'around' as the infinity stone!

Peter: Wait, what?

Ronan: I took it when you weren't looking. *hops out of plane*

Gamora: Did you win?

Peter: Well, he did just jump out of a plane, so I'd assume so.

Rocket: Then who's flying the plane?

*Plane starts to go down*

Peter, Gamora, and Rocket: *Screams*

Groot: *Makes a ball of wood*

Rocket: But Groot, that'll kill you…

Groot: We are Groot.

*Plane crashes*

Ronan: What? How did you survive?

Peter: Because.

Rocket: We.

Gamora: Are.

Drax: SPARTA!

*Everyone glares at Drax*

Drax: Groot. We are Groot. No sense of humor with these guys.

*Peter takes the infinity stone, then everyone grabs on and handles the explosion, while Ronan evaporates*

Peter: Were the best! Around! No one's gonna ever bring us down!

Santa: Congrats on the win! But Pitch just took over Christmas.

Pitch: I do like the idea of Black stockings.

*FANMAD*

Lucy: In Taiwan, I did do drugs. I gained Psychic powers. I killed everyone in Taiwan and came to America. Then I did what no other superhuman would do…

Narrator: And now we come back to the TV show that puts the "chic" into Psychic, I love Lucy!

*Title: I Love Lucy*

Norman: Welcome back, Lucy.

Lucy: Thanks Professor. I don't know what I'm doing in college!

*Laugh Track*

Lucy: Do you hear that?

Norman: Hear what?

Lucy: The laughing.

Norman: Your brain might have the power to break the fourth wall.

Lucy: Like Deadpool?

Norman: Deadpool is what you'll be and dead in if you make jokes like that!

*Laugh Track*

Mr. Jang: Honey, I'm hoooooome!

*Laugh Track*

Lucy: What? But I killed you!

Mr. Jang: You killed my evil twin!

Lucy: You don't have an evil twin!

Mr. Jang: Not yet…

*Confused laugh Track*

*Door Opens*

Pierre: Stop, Villian!

*Audience Gasp*

Lucy: Pierre?

Pierre: Lucy? Norman?

Mr. Jang: Norman?

Norman: Pierre?

Lucy: Jang?

Donkey: DONKEY.

Pierre: What is going on?

Norman: Well, you see, Pierre, Lucy was doing drugs…

Pierre: I know that, but why are we on a low budgeted TV Show?

Lucy: My idea.

*meanwhile*

Morgan Freeman: Now you see, kids, when you use lies for movies like "You only use 10% of your brain", you screw up logic so badly that it turns into a low budgeted TV show. We are now using the budget for better things, like me. I'm currently visiting China.

*Eats a fortune cookie*

Morgan Freeman: My fortune says that I Love Lucy was sued for Copyright. Of course.

*FANMAD ends the episode*