FANMAD Episode 29: "Rise of the Guardians of the Galaxy/I Love Lucy"
Peter: *Hops out of his ship* hopefully this is the right Deserted Planet. Don't want to make the same mistakes as I did on OA.
*On OA*
Hal: Are you a new Green Lantern?
Peter: I'm a bounty hunter. I hunt bounties… and stuff.
Hal: Then… How did you find this place?
Peter: Probably took the wrong turn at Alderaan.
*Meanwhile*
Peter: Aha! I found the orb! Wait… a hologram? I wonder wait it says…
Santa: Welcome to… uhh… *looks at planet listing* Morag! I am Santa Claus! And I need your help, Peter Quill. You and uhh… hold on I have my naughty list somewhere…
*Title: Rise of the Guardians of the Galaxy*
Santa: Welcome to the Kyln! I sense you will find the place to be very comfortable!
Rocket: Alright, cut the crap, why did you summon us?
Groot: I am Groot.
Gamora: No, but seriously, how many times is he going to say that?
Rocket: I don't know, however many times he wants?
Santa: First, you must escape Jail! Then you fight final boss.
Peter: Which is…?
Gamora: Ronan, I assume?
Santa: Ehhh… more like Pitch.
Rocket: Pitch.
Santa: Yes, all children are having nightmare! Pitch must be dealt with.
Peter: So, how do we escape?
Rocket: Fly out.
Peter: What?
*Suddenly everyone is in the control center, flying out of the jail cell.*
Peter: Wait, so what happened?
Rocket: I attached the battery pack to the center and hacked the system to make robots propel us out of here.
Peter: You do that often?
Rocket: Every other Tuesday.
Peter: Also, who's the big guy?
Drax: So you have a problem?
Santa: First trial complete! We must deliver the hologram to a friend of mine!
Rocket: Who is he, the Easter bunny?
*Meanwhile*
Easter Bunny: You got a rock for me?
Rocket Just as I thought this couldn't get weirder.
Easter Bunny: Listen, Mate, I don't care what you are, but if you got a stone for me, then give it.
Groot: I am Groot.
Easter Bunny: I don't care for names, just give me the stone.
Peter: Here.
*The Stone Opens*
Easter Bunny: Woah, didn't see that comin'.
Peter: what is it?
Santa: That is infinity stone!
Gamora: The stone that controls the world?
Santa: Has power to control world! Would not fall in Pitch's hands!
Easter Bunny: Dude, we stopped Pitch a few years ago. It's 2014.
Santa: Hush, bunny. We need not upset them.
Rocket: Too late for that, Gramps.
Gamora: Why are we here?
Santa: Tooth fairy is under attack by Ronan.
Drax: Ronan killed my family!
Peter: Who hasn't?
Drax: *Growls*
Gamora: We must stop him.
*Later*
Peter: Wait, is this Earth or Milano?
Rocket: Looks kinda dumpy.
Groot: I am Groot.
Gamora: I see the Ship!
Santa: I see Tooth!
Drax: I see ladies underpants!
*Everyone glares at Drax*
Drax: I thought it was funny…
Peter: Okay here's the plan, we jump on the ship, fight, and hope we win.
Rocket: and if we don't?
Peter: Everyone dies and it's officially Good Game.
Rocket: and I thought Groots plans sucked.
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: I know what I said.
Peter: Alright, who's with me!
Gamora: I will defeat my sister and help you stop Ronan!
Peter: You have a sister?
Gamora: Yes. Nebula.
Peter: Is she hot?
Drax: Ronan killed my family. I must kill him.
Peter: Good, good, yes, let the anger flow through you.
Groot: I am Groot.
Peter: I have no idea what that means, but ALRIGHT!
*Santa Stands up*
Santa: I will help defeat Ronan!
Peter: If you die, Christmas dies.
Santa: Good Point. Carry on. *Santa sits down*
Rocket: Yeah, fine, whatever. Let's do this.
*Later*
Nebula: Sister.
Gamora: Don't expect me to call you the same.
Nebula: Call me whatever you want, that won't make you daddies favorite.
Gamora: I already am, and you can have it if you want to.
Nebula: You ARE full of it!
*fight scene*
*Meanwhile*
Ronan: You have been met with a terrible fate, Star Lord!
Peter: So that name DOES go around, doesn't it?
Ronan: Only as 'around' as the infinity stone!
Peter: Wait, what?
Ronan: I took it when you weren't looking. *hops out of plane*
Gamora: Did you win?
Peter: Well, he did just jump out of a plane, so I'd assume so.
Rocket: Then who's flying the plane?
*Plane starts to go down*
Peter, Gamora, and Rocket: *Screams*
Groot: *Makes a ball of wood*
Rocket: But Groot, that'll kill you…
Groot: We are Groot.
*Plane crashes*
Ronan: What? How did you survive?
Peter: Because.
Rocket: We.
Gamora: Are.
Drax: SPARTA!
*Everyone glares at Drax*
Drax: Groot. We are Groot. No sense of humor with these guys.
*Peter takes the infinity stone, then everyone grabs on and handles the explosion, while Ronan evaporates*
Peter: Were the best! Around! No one's gonna ever bring us down!
Santa: Congrats on the win! But Pitch just took over Christmas.
Pitch: I do like the idea of Black stockings.
*FANMAD*
Lucy: In Taiwan, I did do drugs. I gained Psychic powers. I killed everyone in Taiwan and came to America. Then I did what no other superhuman would do…
Narrator: And now we come back to the TV show that puts the "chic" into Psychic, I love Lucy!
*Title: I Love Lucy*
Norman: Welcome back, Lucy.
Lucy: Thanks Professor. I don't know what I'm doing in college!
*Laugh Track*
Lucy: Do you hear that?
Norman: Hear what?
Lucy: The laughing.
Norman: Your brain might have the power to break the fourth wall.
Lucy: Like Deadpool?
Norman: Deadpool is what you'll be and dead in if you make jokes like that!
*Laugh Track*
Mr. Jang: Honey, I'm hoooooome!
*Laugh Track*
Lucy: What? But I killed you!
Mr. Jang: You killed my evil twin!
Lucy: You don't have an evil twin!
Mr. Jang: Not yet…
*Confused laugh Track*
*Door Opens*
Pierre: Stop, Villian!
*Audience Gasp*
Lucy: Pierre?
Pierre: Lucy? Norman?
Mr. Jang: Norman?
Norman: Pierre?
Lucy: Jang?
Donkey: DONKEY.
Pierre: What is going on?
Norman: Well, you see, Pierre, Lucy was doing drugs…
Pierre: I know that, but why are we on a low budgeted TV Show?
Lucy: My idea.
*meanwhile*
Morgan Freeman: Now you see, kids, when you use lies for movies like "You only use 10% of your brain", you screw up logic so badly that it turns into a low budgeted TV show. We are now using the budget for better things, like me. I'm currently visiting China.
*Eats a fortune cookie*
Morgan Freeman: My fortune says that I Love Lucy was sued for Copyright. Of course.
*FANMAD ends the episode*
