My apologies, I promised a lighter chapter, but I forgot that Julie needs to go home to Tim first….
David didn't speak to Julie as they started the long ride home. If he had she wouldn't have heard him. She was too consumed with waging a battle inside her head.
She had some very strong emotions rolling through. Guilt dominated because she had left her mother. What kind of daughter walks away from her sick mother? The doctors and nurses needed to take care of her. As much as Julie longed to nurture, her mother would never allow being fussed over.
Anger was a close second. She was angry at her father for ignoring Tim and her for almost two years. She was angry that she felt guilty for leaving when she was one of six and not responsible. Her whole life as the oldest she had been told to be responsible for the others. Now they were adults and it was time they were responsible for themselves.
She was also angry because she knew nothing would change when her mum came home. Her father and brothers would have the same expectations. Her mother would never give up cake and whatever else was necessary.
Finally she spoke drowning out the steady purr of the engine. She asked, "What will happen if nothing changes? How will she die?"
David didn't respond immediately. Julie assumed he was gathering his thoughts. Finally he asked, "Do you really want to know or do you want to know if you'll have time to get to her?"
"Both I think."
"Unless she suffers cardiac arrest, her heart will continue to fail, she'll continue with the same symptoms… breathlessness, fatigue, swelling in her legs…"
"She's had swelling!"
"I know I didn't see it myself, but I read the notes. I'm certain that Tim noticed it."
"We fought after his first visit because he was concerned about her and I didn't want to hear it. I was no better than the rest of my lot."
"A loved one's illness is hard to accept. Since then you have tried to convince her and you're not in denial now. You did all you could do."
"My family's in denial and she is as well. She told me she just needs rest and she'll be fine."
They rode in silence and Julie's mind jumped around. She imagined being at her mother's funeral with Tim by her side. She thought of Tim and Dr. Turner doing the same years before. Tim was just a lad. She realised she hadn't told Kate about her mother. Then she remembered baby Heather so full of life. She thought of her mother when she was young and how she was always smiling. As the babies kept coming she smiled less and less.
Julie wasn't going to ruin everything by having too many babies. Two would be perfect and if a third snuck in, it would be alright too, but anymore was too much. She would teach her boys to be respectful and helpful, like Tim and Teddy.
Would Carole still go to Australia? Would she leave without telling their mother? Was Charlie going to go too? Carole and Charlie were always close. If they left she wouldn't need to feel guilty about being in Oxford. Was that a selfish thought?
Her brain went off on tangents the rest of the ride. Tim was waiting at the house and she fell into his arms. He whispered into her hair, "I thought you might have stayed."
She shook her head and concentrated on the comforting feeling of being in his arms. When they finally released each other. Julie went to pick up Oliver. She missed him, but more importantly needed to feel his young life in her arms.
Tim and Paula gathered round David as he quietly told them about her mother. When he was done, he said to Tim, "That lot sure doesn't like you."
Tim shrugged and said, "Some do. Mrs. Miller does or she's at least happy that Julie's happy."
####
Tim wasn't surprised with anything he was told. He had seen the signs; the edema, the shortness of breath. He should be surprised at just how high her sugar and blood pressure were, but truthfully he knew they would be off the charts.
He hated keeping secrets, but he had called on the local GP while in the village for Arthur's wedding. The doctor attempted to talk to Mrs. Miller at the wedding breakfast, but she wouldn't have any of it. He had planned to ring him again that morning, but Julie rang with the news her mum was in hospital. He suspected that Mr. Miller knew Tim was behind the doctor's attention, but he never said anything to him directly.
Paula announced, "Come on and tuck in then. Everyone needs to eat."
Tim was grateful to the Jeffers for taking care of Jules. He had trouble concentrating all day thinking about Jules. He spoke to his father and they had hashed through what they knew and what they suspected about Mrs. Miller's health. His father had reassured him and alleviated his concern that he should have called the ambulance the previous evening.
"Tim, you know as well as I that no matter how acute it seemed, it is a chronic condition. I've more experience than you, but you need to remember you can't force treatment. If you intervened you would have severed any tie you have to Julie's family. Julie needs you, but not as a doctor. As a… friend, no… the best term is not quite accurate, but as a husband."
His father's word had surprised him. Still they felt correct. He and Julie were best friends, loved each other, made decisions together and were planning a future. Tim suddenly felt guilty and knew he needed to tell Julie the truth.
Their meal was quiet and Dr. Jeffers had to rush to work at the hospital.
Paula said, "Julie, you should get some rest. Tomorrow you should visit your friend whilst I'm home with Oliver."
Tim didn't want to leave. He needed to be with Julie. They hadn't had time to talk about how she was yet.
Paula must have read his mind, because she suggested that he stay with Julie until she fell asleep. The Jeffers certainly hadn't chaperoned him and Julie, but this was the first time he had been invited upstairs.
Tim was awkwardly sitting on Julie's bed whilst she got ready for bed in the loo. He looked around the tiny room. It was very tidy just as the flat she shared with Kate had been. He wondered if as his wife, she'd be upset with him if he didn't pick up his socks. Would she have expectations that would cause arguments? Tim knew he'd do anything to keep Julie happy including picking up dirty socks.
It was as he scanned the room that he noticed the pack of oral contraceptives. He know knew that Julie had gone to the clinic. He thought about what his dad said earlier. Wife, he had said. If his father considered them as good as married then Julie was right. They were foolish to wait.
Tim remembered that time between Christmas and the wedding when Mum took care of him and Dad. Could it be that Dad considered her his wife. Still Tim couldn't imagine as a former nun, she would have been as forward thinking as Julie.
When Julie climbed into bed, he sat beside her and took her hand. Feeling a fist in his belly tightening, he said, "Jules, I did something and kept it from you." She looked up at him with wide eyes and squeezing her hand he continued. "I went to see your GP and told him my concerns when I was there last August. I had to help. I'm meant to heal."
She smiled and said, "My father knew it was you. Truthfully I was torn between you and your father."
"I'm sorry for not telling you, but I'm not sorry I did it."
She pulled his hand to her lips and kissed it. "I'm sorry it didn't make a difference."
Tim lay on top of the duvet and held her. He listened as she talked about her day as well as her feelings and fears.
When she said enough he kissed her. He knew there would be a right day to tell her he'd made a decision, but this wasn't it.
This chapter reminds me a a chapter in the Unexpected Sequel when Tim is asleep on the couch. It is at end of Chapter 103 if anyone wants to revisit it.
Thanks for reading. I hope you like Tim and Julie's journey so far. If you enjoy my writing, you can find non-ff work on Wattpad under Pseudoannie, including an edgier non-CtM version of Unexpected.
