Hey! Here's the final filler chapter thing! I'm glad you all enjoyed the previous ones, even if they didn't continue from the main plot. The next chapter will do that for you though! Still, I really like this filler, so I hope you also enjoy this until then!
Thanks so much to everybody! If it weren't for all of you, I probably wouldn't have even written as much as I have.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom hearts or the songs I use.
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Terra (Dead inside) February 3000
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Terra: 20, 11 months Ventus: 13 years, 2 months
We'd only been together for over a year. But even so, it felt like I'd known Ventus my entire life. He was apart of me now. There was never a moment where I didn't think about him. I loved him. Even so, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that our relationship was a struggle. It was nearly unbearable being separated from him. But we couldn't help it. It was crucial that we kept our love a secret. Hiding it from the guards for over a year proved to be difficult. There were times when we were unable to see one another for days- maybe even weeks. It was incredibly hard.
Whenever we weren't together… I didn't know how to describe it. But I just felt so dull. Hollow. I'd never felt so passionate about anything in my life. Ventus was what I lived for. He was all that mattered to me. I couldn't imagine my life without him.
He felt the same, I was sure. Whenever we had the chance to see one another in private, he would throw himself at me- wrapping his arms around me tightly as he buried his head into me. At times like those, the atmosphere was always affectionate… Yet somehow, it was also sad. Knowing that everything about us was wrong in the lab's eyes was discouraging. We knew our feelings shouldn't have existed, but we couldn't help but love one another. It was apparently 'forbidden' and 'disgraceful.' We should have been ashamed.
How could I be? I loved Ventus. And for once I was truly happy. Even if I was forced to be with my chosen mate, the only person who I sincerely loved would continue to be Ventus. Forever Ventus…
It was just us.
I wish it could have been that way currently. But unfortunately, I sat on my bed, enduring yet another lonely night. All that accompanied me was my roommate and the dreary darkness of the night.
Night time was the worst. That was when I thought about him the most. I wanted to be able to hold him again… I wanted my nose to burn at his scent… I wanted to hear his voice…
I sighed, standing up from where I sat. I stretched before I stole a quick peek at Hayner; my roommate. He was fast asleep in his bed.
Making sure not to wake him, I made my way towards the door that would lead me out into the hallway.
I needed to sneak out and see him. I needed to see Ventus.
I wrapped my hand around the doorknob and then twisted it open. The hallway was dark and it was greeted by my adjusting eyes. Even so, I could still make out a figure through the darkness. Panic never once entered my mind. The nearby form held no similarities to the frightening guards who stalked the halls at night. No. Even through eyes that were adapting to the gloom of night, I could never fail to recognize the stunning silhouette of Ventus. His gorgeous sapphire eyes even remained bright in our dull surroundings.
He rushed at me, hugging his arms around my torso tightly. He breaths were rapid as his hold around me only grew more firm. I brought one hand down upon his head so that I could gently stroke at his hair. My other arm placed itself around Ven's waist.
"Terra," Ven whispered, "I missed you so much!"
I withdrew from our embrace so that I could look into Ven's shadowed face. The hand that had brushed through his golden locks now caressed his cheek. "I missed you too," I smiled. Just being in his presence again made me feel so much more alive then I could ever feel without him.
My right hand travelled from his face and down his arm until it grasped at his hand.
"We shouldn't stay out here for too long," I said. Ven nodded, and then I led him through the doorway of my room.
Hand-in-hand, we crept to my bed. I was a little paranoid about Hayner waking up, but he was normally a heavy sleeper. So I didn't allow my paranoia to interrupt the precious time that we found so scarce. Moments like these were rare.
We sat down on the edge of my bed, using hushed voices whenever we spoke. Though before a single word could escape from my mouth, Ventus brought his legs up onto the mattress and sat up on his knees. He brought his arms around my neck, brushing his fingers through a few brown strands of hair at the base of my neck. Soon after, he leaned in so close that I could feel our lips tenderly touch. Softly, he pressed his lips against my own in a chaste, velvety kiss. My eyes fluttered shut.
I didn't open them again until Ventus slowly withdrew, sobbing.
The sound of his faint whimpers automatically made my eyes snap open worriedly. His head lowered, Ventus shook as his hands wiped away at his eyes. His lips twitched and his teeth clenched with a lack of control.
Alarmed, I stroked the side of his face, asking softly as concern ate away at me, "Why are you crying? I want to see your beautiful smile, Ventus…"
"I hate this," Ventus' tone was thick and melancholy. He bit his quivering lip before he continued. "Whenever we're separated… whenever I can't be with you… I can't breathe. I'm suffocating." His body continued to tremble as tears spilled from his eyes delicately. "I don't care if it's selfish, but I always want to be with you. I want that so bad… But it's not possible. We're always going to have to live like this. It's not fair, Terra!"
I pushed his bangs up against his head, planting a light kiss over his forehead before I stated warmly, "I love you. I know things are brutally difficult for us, and that it pains the both of us whenever we're not together. It's nearly unbearable. But I do bear it. I bear it because I love you. Thinking about the next time I'm going to see you is what keeps me going. You're my life, and I'm not going to give in. I won't let the lab control me. I won't let them win." A slight smile flickered over my lips as I continued to stroke his face. "When we're together like this, I want you to be happy…"
Ven brought his head up to stare at me. The furrow in his eyebrows told me that he was pondering.
There was a long moment of silence. Ven merely rested against me, placing his head on my shoulder. He took hold of my hand firmly, intertwining our fingers. When he did finally speak, his voice was quieter then even a whisper.
"What do you think would happen if they found out…?"
I winced at the question. The thought of anyone finding out about us made me feel sick. I didn't know what they could do about us, but I wasn't willing to take any risks in Ventus' safety. I couldn't… The very idea of something irreversible happening to Ven made my blood turn to ice. My entire body felt cold and numb.
I swallowed thickly, forcing a response to his chilling question, "They won't find out."
Ven raised his voice to a dangerous volume, "You don't know that!"
I clasped a hand over his mouth in fear that he'd wake Hayner. A muffled gasp escaped from him, but he quickly realized my reasoning.
"Sorry," he whispered in a self-conscious tone once I removed my hand from him. I didn't do that until I was completely sure that Hayner was still asleep.
I shook my head as I fought back a chuckle, "Don't apologize. I must have startled you."
Ventus finally broke out in a smile. "I wasn't really being fair to you. I might have been overreacting." His smile grew weaker. "I guess I've just been a little down lately, and I let it get to me."
It was understandable. It'd nearly been nine days since we'd seen one another. It was easy to become discouraged. Still, I hated thinking that he was so down and upset. I wanted to help ease his internal agony, if only a little… because Ventus' words wouldn't leave my mind, especially after he left and I was alone yet again.
'Whenever we're separated… whenever I can't be with you… I can't breathe. I'm suffocating."
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I was incredibly bored the next morning. I woke up; got myself dressed; and then by the time I stepped out of the bathroom, Hayner was up watching TV. It was all we Nobodies really had for entertainment. Well, that and of course our randomly selected roommate(s). It was nice having some company, at least.
"What'cha watching?" I asked, sitting down next to him. Hayner shrugged, obviously bored.
Due to his lack of an answer, I figured that he didn't even know the name of what he was watching. Curiously, I decided to watch it too. Well, maybe it wasn't entirely encouraged through curiosity, but by the fact that I had nothing better to do…
Whether it was encouraged by curiosity, boredom, or both… it really didn't matter in the end. Either way, I was happy that I'd watched it.
The show was about some couple. That's what I'd come to believe after watching the first few minutes anyway. Immediately, the show made me think about Ven.
Apparently, the main character had a girlfriend who'd been feeling quite depressed due to family issues. It reminded me of Ven and his discouragement. In order to cheer her up, the character's boyfriend took her out on something called a date.
Maybe something like that would help brighten Ventus up.
He'd watched more TV then I ever had, so I turned to Hayner for answers to my questions. I wanted to know more about these dates.
"Hey, so what exactly is a date? Does it work with any couple? Make them happy, I mean?" I tried not to sound too embarrassed by my ignorance.
Hayner cocked his eyebrow at me, frowning, "Why would you want to know about something like that?"
I scratched the back of my head sheepishly, chuckling nervously, "Oh, curiosity, I guess."
Hayner didn't seem convinced. But he decided to go ahead and reply to my question anyhow. "I guess… I only really know what I've seen on TV. So who knows how accurate what I've seen is. In the shows I've seen, a date is where people go out; whether it's to go out and eat or go out and see a movie… Something like that. As for them being happy… I guess they're normally happy."
I wondered if maybe something like that would cheer Ven up. Of course I couldn't exactly take him out anywhere. But maybe I could think of something else.
Hayner eyed me suspiciously, muttering, "So spill it. Were you introduced to your mate or something? Cause you're sure acting like it."
I averted his gaze as I felt a light blush spread across my face. "N-no," I stuttered, "It's not like that."
He continued to eye me for a long period of time, then finally looked away with a sigh. "Whatever…"
My faint blush fading, I began to brainstorm ideas for a date with Ventus. I really wanted to raise his spirits. But what exactly could I do in a place like Laboratory 21? It wasn't like I could ask Xemnas to lend me a bunch of things for a romantic, candle-lit dinner. I wondered if he would have obliged if one of the mated couples asked for such a thing? It was a hard question to answer.
I'd love to be able to get a hold of a few candles. But then how would I light them? Xemnas didn't trust us with candles or matches. It would have been perfect. Then my other idea was to watch a movie with him. But again, how could we watch TV while Hayner or Ventus' brothers slept in the room? No matter what I thought up, it just couldn't seem to work.
Damn…
I really wanted to do something for him though. So badly. It had to be perfect. But what could I do?
Whatever it was, it needed to bring a smile to Ventus' face. He'd endured so much recently. Over the past year, his reputation had taken a turn for the worst. He snuck out, obviously to see me. But he didn't necessarily make it without being caught each and every time. Especially during the first half of the year, the guards had caught him wandering a whole bunch of times. Because of that, Ven was given labels such as trouble maker' or 'instigator.' The guards spread nasty rumours about him…
They spread gossip around about him, making it sound as if he was a terrible person. When really, he was only sneaking out because he was 'suffocating' without me.
He ruined his reputation for me. If it wasn't for Ven having two roommates instead of one, then I would have snuck out and sacrificed people's respect for me too. But Ven insisted that he'd always come to me, feeling that we had a greater chance of keeping our secret in my room with Hayner.
Even his brothers, mainly his eldest one, had lost a portion of their respect for him. He told me that he and Sora fought a lot more then they used to. They disagreed more often.
I felt that I owed him a special date of sorts, at least. He'd sacrificed so much for me…
I had to make it up to him.
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After I watched that date program with Hayner, I began to watch a lot more TV. I used it as a research tool for my date ideas. I was looking out for something perfect. After a few days of watching TV, I think I'd found the perfect one. I already knew a little bit about weddings. They were supposed to be happy occasions that Somebody couples had. We had Binding Ceremonies, but they seemed completely different.
Binding Ceremonies were never happy. They were false weddings that difficult Nobodies were given. They represented the opposite of love.
As for these Somebody weddings, well they seemed so cheerful. I wanted to learn more about them. So I watched as many wedding programs as I could find. When I was finally confident in knowing exactly what a wedding was and how it worked, I began to make preparations for one.
It may not have been official, but it didn't need to be. It could be our own secret wedding: like Padme and Anakin or Romeo and Juliet. It would matter to us.
After hours of shows, I understood that the primary materials that I needed would be some sort of formal wear for myself; perhaps I'd make a veil for Ven; I wanted candles that I could light; I needed to figure out some way to make us rings; and finally, I would come up with some vows.
Easier said then done when one lived in a prison…
I already had some formal wear. I had a few white and black dress shirts stored in my closet somewhere. So that was covered, at least. As for Ven's veil: I could easily tear apart the white curtain in my room. The embroidery was amazing and very elegant. The candles and the rings would be the hardest to obtain.
I guess… I could at least use simple materials to make… well, a simple ring. It wouldn't be a real wedding ring or anything, but I was limited on supplies.
When Hayner went to bed that night, I decided to rummage through our room for anything I could use as props for our little wedding. As I'd mentioned earlier, I took down the curtains and cut them up in order to make a wedding veil. Hayner would probably question their absence in the morning.
I also ended up uncovering a few arts and crafts materials, which I didn't even know we had. There was crafting wire and beads. I made our rings using those materials; placing one medium bead through the wire and two smaller ones that flanked the medium one's sides. I was satisfied by the outcome.
I wasn't sure when I'd be finished up with everything, but I was getting more and more excited with each task I accomplished for my surprise to Ven. I really hoped that it would make him happy. Whenever he smiled, it almost felt as if my heart could melt. Never had I seen such a lovely smile on a person before. I still remembered the first time we'd talked. Well, I even remembered the time before he'd approached me. I'd locked eyes with him at one point, and after that I'd watched him sit at his cafeteria table with his brother: Roxas. I remembered watching them talk, and then that had been the first time I'd seen a bright smile light his face up. It had left me breathless…
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It was my turn to sneak out.
After a few days, I'd finally gathered everything that was needed. I took the time to prepare everything in the cafeteria beforehand, and then it was time to fetch Ventus- who was completely oblivious to any of this, including my visit.
Dressed in my black dress shirt, I wandered into Ven's room. Luckily it wasn't far at all, otherwise a guard probably would have found me and ruined everything.
Cautiously, I opened the door to Ventus' room. I poked my head in, capturing the scene of Ventus and his brothers sleeping silently. Their eldest brother rested on the top bunk, and Ven and his twin slept on the bottom together.
I tip-toed to the bedside, realizing that they were tangled amongst one another. Even though they were identical twins, I could still tell exactly which one of them was Ven. I just knew. Roxas slept closest to the edge while Ven slept further in, almost hitting the wall. I was careful not to hit Roxas as I leaned over him to shake Ven gently. It almost made me jump when Roxas murmured something about candy in his sleep.
"Ventus," I called his name in a whisper. He shifted slightly, groaning. Soon after, his eyes began to flutter sleepily.
"Terra…?" he murmured my name as he sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes soon after. When he finally overcame his tiredness, Ven smiled. He practically jumped over Roxas and into my arms. "Terra! It is you! I thought I was dreaming!"
I couldn't help but smile as I ran a hand through his hair. "I have a surprise for you."
Ven pulled back so that he could look up into my face. He cocked his head. "A… surprise?"
Smiling, I took hold of his hand. "Come on. Lets go to the cafeteria."
Ventus grinned at that, and then we quickly left the room. It was pretty silly to say, but I felt less likely of getting caught with Ventus around. He knew these halls like they were the back of his hand.
We reached the entrance to the caf, and before we entered I could feel my heart flutter with excitement. Unable to hold back a smile, I opened the caf doors, gesturing for Ventus to go in. He glanced at me, but then went through the door, almost timid as he did so. I followed in after him and heard him gasp.
"Oh… my god," Ven seemed to be at a loss for words, "Terra… This is amazing."
The cafeteria was still dim, but a few rows of tall candles lit up an area near the back. They glowed delicately.
Captivated, Ventus took a step forward.
"Just wait," I placed a hand over his shoulder.
Ven watched me curiously as I left his side to pick up the veil, which I'd'd left on one of the caf tables. I stepped in front of him, draping it over his head so that it sat just above his bangs and flowed down as low as his neck in the back.
Ven brought a hand up to brush over it, "What's this for?"
He seemed puzzled, but realization hit him once I pulled out our rings from my pocket. His blue eyes widened as he stared at them and then back up at me.
"Would you like to marry me, Ventus?" I asked him softly, stroking his face.
Ventus blushed, which actually brought a smile to my face. He began to stutter, stricken with surprise. "M-marry?" He began to chuckle, directing his gaze at the floor as his blush continued to creep across his face in a bright shade of red. "Only Somebodies can do that…"
"What keeps it limited to the Somebodies? We love each other, right? I don't care what anyone thinks: this is real to me."
A smile flickered over his lips, as if that's what he wanted to hear. Without a word, Ven held out his hand to me, letting me slip his ring over his wedding finger. He did the same with me, gazing up at me fondly as he withdrew.
I beamed at him, offering my arm out to him silently. Ven accepted, linking our arms as we slowly began to walk down what would be our aisle, the dim but radiant candles guiding us.
We stopped where the rows of candles ended, turning to face one another. Ven's eyes sparkled with a happiness that I hadn't seen in him for a long time. That alone brought about a feeling of accomplishment.
A fuzzy warmth enveloped my chest as I continued to stare into Ventus' face. It wasn't for another few moments that I spoke up, sharing my vows with my beloved one. I'd thought a lot about them. It'd been hard to come up with the perfect words to say to him.
"Ventus," I took hold of both his hands, "I love you so much, and I promise to love you for the rest of my life. No- even longer then that. Death can't even part us. I'll keep loving you for eternity- in both life and death. You're everything to me, and I won't let even the lab stand in the way of what we have. I'll protect you; always support and comfort you; and most of all, cherish you forever."
Ventus smiled widely, showing off his perfect teeth.
Seconds later, he practically leaped into my arms ecstatically. He raised his head as I lowered mine, allowing our lips to touch as we kissed one another in the final act of becoming husband and 'wife.'
Our kiss was chaste and incredibly passionate.
After several more tender kisses, we slowly withdrew- though we remained within one another's hold. My eyes refused to flutter open the first few moments. But when they did, I was greeted by his alluring sapphire eyes and his fond and gorgeous smile. Then he buried himself into my chest, murmuring happily, "You're amazing, Terra. I can't believe you planned all this. Asides from when I met you, I think this is the best day of my life." He laughed. "I know that sounds so cliché, but when I feel this overjoyed, I don't care. It's the truth." He nuzzled his head into me further.
"I like it when you're cliché," I chuckled, backing away far enough for me to gently lift his chin with my fingers. "I think it's cute. Besides, we're married now. So you have to share every little thought and feeling with me- no matter how cliché it is."
Ven gazed down at his ring at the mentioning of our marriage. A fond smile found it's way to his lips as he continued to stare at it. Now no matter where Ventus was, he'd wear a ring that represented our marriage- love that wasn't forced, but love that we ourselves chose.
Even though it represented the desire to be with Ventus, it could never ever replace the feelings of happiness that I felt in his presence. Though, perhaps it would make me feel just a little less lonely.
Maybe then, separation could be a bit more bearable for the both of us. Especially Ven.
I didn't want him to feel suffocated anymore…
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Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes. I rushed to get this on. XP So I didn't spell check it. Just let me know if there's any real bad ones. So yeah- I hope you all liked it. Please review and let me know what you thought about it! :)
