28. (Hermes) decides (Artemis) must have a tattoo, and is very adamant. What is this tattoo idea? Does (Zeus) like it? If they decide to get it, where is its location going to be?


The Goddess of the Hunt and the God of Trickery were fighting. Wow, Hermes has been causing way too much drama these days. Now, apparently, Artemis was the victim.

Artemis was about to skewer Hermes with her arrows.

"Please, Arty!"

"Don't call me Arty."

"Oh, yeah. Only Percy is allowed to call you that."

Artemis seethed. "I swear on the Styx that when I learn who invented this Pertemis crap that I will hunt down whoever it was."

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Come on! Artemis, I have the perfect idea of a tattoo for you."

"Yeah, sure. Perfect idea." Artemis scoffed. Never trust Hermes between the hours of midnight and midnight.

He's bound to be in a pranking mood.


Actually, Hermes did invent the Internet.


Hmmmm…

Filthy Pertemis writer.


Now Artemis did skewer Hermes.


"Hermes, Artemis does not need a tattoo. I already have enough issues with people trying to marry her. I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that I swore never to force her into marriage, and if I went back on the promise I would probably share your fate, I'd probably marry her off to the next person who asks just to get them off my back."

"But Father—"

"Don't but Father me, now run along and go be a good boy and prank Poseidon for me, would you?"

"The last time I tried that, Athena tried to make me fade for invading her pranking territory."

"Oh, ignore her. That little spat is as old as Athens, literally. Besides, why is she complaining? She won that."

"Medusa?"

"Seriously, you get passionate in one temple and they never let you forget it." Poseidon mumbled overhearing their conversation.

"Ay, Barnacle Brain. Why the sad face?" Athena said, walking into the room. "And it was my temple you did that in. How shameful."


Dionysus was bored. How did they expect to have a council meeting when half the Olympians didn't bother to show up? This isn't Congress! This is important. The god sighed. Even watching those brat children was better than this.


"Oh come on Artemis. It's just one little one on your arm. It doesn't even hurt… a lot."

"No means no, Hermes."

"Oh, come on sis." Apollo whined. "Loosen up. You're like a little Athena."

Artemis just scowled.

Stupid brothers.

He was next on her hit list.


Meanwhile, Aphrodite and Ares sent Eros to stalk the god of the forges to make sure he wasn't planning anything. He really needed to stay out of their business. Sure, maybe he had a reason, but it was so not cool to have date after date ruined by him. He wasn't even that attractive.


Demeter sighed. Why didn't she have screen time in this chapter? She pushed a bowl of cereal in front of the person sitting in front of her.

Hera scowled. "I don't want any of your stupid cereal."

Meanwhile, the fanfiction readers also sighed at the overuse of cereal jokes. Oh, well. Deal with it. It's not Milky's fault the gods are boring people. Er, cool people.

"Don't blast me Grandpa Zeus!" The (awesome) daughter of Apollo pleaded. Milky ran away crying to Artemis, quite like how the goddess had ran crying to Zeus during the Trojan War.

Artemis sighed. "This is the last time I listen to Apollo's recommendations for new Hunters."


"Wow." Milky exclaimed while looking up in realization. "People sure do sigh a lot." She walked over and grabbed a thesaurus.

"Hmmm… What is a good replacement word for sigh?" She leafed through the pages. "Exhale? Groan? Moan? What? No. This won't do."

Now it was Milky's turn to sigh, exhale, groan, and moan. Being an Author is such hard work. Maybe she should just be an artist instead, even if her idea of art is drawing lines on the sidewalk with chalk. And it isn't even sidewalk chalk. It's the tiny ones used on chalkboards.


She opened up her Fictionpress account and updated her stories there. Apollo yelled at her to work on her fanfictions instead. She groaned, and then opened her Quotev account to see if there was any new comments on her quizzes or stories. Nothing.

"That's it! You're grounded!"

"For what?" The teenager yelled back.

"For not writing your Fanfictions like you were supposed to do!"

"But I—"

"Don't but me!"

Milky fumed.


Meanwhile, Apollo leaned against the downstairs kitchen table in exhaustion. He was supposed to be meeting Hermes to watch an American football game with Ares, but he was stuck babysitting a hyperactive thirteen-year-old girl.

Apollo heard a knock on his front door. Who could that be? The god walked over and opened it. Standing there was Hermes and Ares.

"So we talked about it and we decided since you couldn't watch it at Ares' place, we would just come to you instead!" Hermes grinned. "Besides, you have a better TV."

"It's not my fault that bastard Hephaestus hates me so much!"

"Hey!" the other two screamed. After all, they were the only 'bastards' out of the four.

"Er… no offense."

While watching the game, quite loudly as boys tend to do, Apollo turned to Hermes. "So, did you ever convince Artemis to get that tattoo?"

"No."

"Then you're not getting paid. Seriously? How did you fail? You're the best prankster ever! I should know. I had the honor of being the first person you ever pranked."

"Well, sorry! You know how many people have paid me to prank people this month?"

Apollo sighed. "Now how am I going to get Artemis to get a tattoo proclaiming my awesomeness?"


1. I went back and forth between the one I did, some joke about Artemis being a lesbian, or a tattoo of a certain male part, but I chose this one.

2. The links to my Quotev and Fictionpress accounts are on my profile, but I warn you, Arsinoë Hunter is much darker than Milk of Awesomeness. (But if you want Greek Myths and heroes, check out Dying Ember, if you want the light-heartedness of this one, possibly The Burning Trilogy, but that is also somewhat dark. The Dying Ember as well.)