DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga.
I trudged up the front stairs and walked through the door. From the door I could hear the television on in the living room, so I walked in there. Charlie sat snoring in the recliner.
"Charlie. Dad, wake up," I said, nudging his shoulder.
"Bella? What took you so long tonight? I was getting worried, kiddo."
"Sorry, I just needed to...do something before coming home."
"You all right, Bells?"
"No, but hopefully tomorrow I will be. Night, Dad."
"Good night."
I stopped in the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. The sooner I went to sleep, the sooner the morning would come. Looking in the mirror, the girl staring back looked lifeless. She needed Sam. I wondered where he was and if he was okay.
I slipped into my room, not bothering with the lights. Each step to the bed felt exhausting. I lay down and curled into a ball, letting the tears fall. There was no way I could survive another day without him, especially after the incredible things he did during the day. My body shook with sobs as I tried to find sleep. Suddenly I felt myself surrounded by heat. I gasped at the feeling, getting ready to scream.
"Bella baby, it's me. It's Sam."
"Sam?" I asked, hopeful. It seemed too good to be true for him to really be there.
"Yes, mé'oonna. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I can leave if you want."
"No! Please stay. I went by your house, and you weren't there."
"I've been here waiting for you, hoping you would speak to me."
"I'm so sorry, Sam. I shouldn't have left like I did that night."
"No, baby. I'm the sorry one. I shouldn't have been so dense."
"No, Sam, I-"
"Maybe we should just skip the self blame game and move on to the make up portion of the fight. Because, baby, I've really missed you."
"I've missed you too, Sam – so, so much." I leaned in to kiss him.
After a few minutes, Sam pulled away. "I love you, Bella. I love you for so many reasons. And I'll give them all to you, but I think right now you should go to sleep. You look exhausted, my mé'oonna."
"You won't leave, right?" I was afraid if I closed my eyes he would disappear.
"I'll be right here the whole night. Unless Charlie comes in, then I'll be right outside the window until he leaves."
"I've felt cold without you," I murmured, burying myself into his warmth.
"I've felt dead without you, Bella. We're going to have a nice, long chat tomorrow. I think we need to be completely honest and work every issue out. Because, baby, I can't stand to have another fight like this one again. I need you too much."
"I need you too. Love you," I yawned.
"I love you more than anything, mé'oonna. I'll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams."
Wrapped in his warmth, I let the darkness take over and pull me into sleep.
I woke up feeling warm and well rested. By far the best night's sleep I'd had in a couple of days – since the fight with Sam. I moved to stretch, but something kept me in place. In fact, the said something tightened its grip on me when I tried to move. I shifted my head back to see Sam's peaceful face. He looked fiver years younger while he slept. The stress of the pack and the tribe washed away from his beautiful face in his slumber.
"You gonna go back to sleep or keep staring?" he asked, and I jumped the most I could with his arms around me at the sound of his voice. He still looked asleep with his eyes closed and chest moving to his steady breathing.
"I missed seeing your face, so I'm making up for lost time."
"We have the rest of our lives, baby. I say we take a few more hours to sleep, because I haven't gotten more than a couple hours a night since…that night."
"I have to go to school," said, turning to look at the alarm clock. "Oh shit!" I tried to pull out of Sam's vice grip unsuccessfully. "Sam, let me go," I said, wiggling around.
"Nah-uh, I don't think so. I haven't had my fill of you yet. Plus, we still need to have our long talk."
"I have to go to school, Sam. And what happened to my stupid alarm clock? The crappy thing didn't go off."
"Yeah, it did," Sam answered simply.
"Excuse me?" I asked, with wide eyes focused on him.
"It went off, and I shut it off. You should look into getting a less annoying alarm. It was an awful sound to wake up to."
"Ugh, Sam! My alarm is fine as long as no one messes with it," I grumbled. "Damn it, I can't just skip school."
"Sure you can. Bella, you never miss a day. You're allowed a mental health day every once in awhile. I really don't think we should put this talk off."
"I really wish you would have asked before you just let me sleep. You may have a point, but it'd be nice if I could, you know, be involved in the decision."
"I'm sorry, I should have woken you. I just wasn't willing to lose you out of my arms yet, and I knew I'd probably have to fight you on this."
"Well, I might as well take the rest of the day off seeing as how I've already missed the first two periods."
"Sounds good," he said, closing his eyes again.
I was beyond the point of going back to sleep. I normally woke up well before then even on the weekends. My body wasn't used to sleeping in that late, and I ached to get up and stretch. I wiggled around a little more, huffing when I made no progress.
"Can I help you?" Sam asked, with one eye cracked open. "It's a bit hard to sleep with you moving all around."
"Yes, you can. I'd like to get up."
"Why," he whined.
"I don't want to sleep anymore, and my bladder is starting to fill a bit full."
Sam huffed loudly. "Fine, you take a shower and do whatever you need to do. I'll go downstairs and fix us some breakfast."
"Okay, I'll be quick," I promised, leaving a kiss on his cheek.
"Take your time," he said, moving so that we kissed briefly before he let me go to get up.
I didn't really take my time as I felt anxious from being from Sam's side. Just one night was all it took for me to be addicted to him again. Well, I guess my need for him never left, I just suppressed it. But I didn't want to go back to that kind of life – it was miserable.
After throwing some clothes on, I headed down the stairs. Approaching the kitchen, I could smell the wonderful aroma of food. Sam stood at the stove finishing whatever he was working on.
"What's for breakfast?"
"Well, technically it's about lunch time, but I did cook breakfast food."
"And what does the menu consist of?" I asked, trying to peek around him.
"Chocolate chip pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon – the full extent of my breakfast cooking know-how."
"It sounds good, especially since I didn't have to make it."
"Sit down, I almost have it done."
I sat down at the kitchen table, and soon enough, Sam placed a few very full plates on the table. We both served ourselves and dug in.
"It tastes wonderful, Sam."
"Thanks. I'm glad you like it."
"Yeah, I might start making you cook more often."
"Bella baby, when I said this is all I knew how to cook of breakfast food, I meant it. Anything else I ruin."
"Young dogs can learn knew tricks, Sam," I smirked at him.
He snorted. "Yeah, I guess they can. If they have the right teacher, that is."
"Well, I guess it's a good thing you do."
"That means you'll be around to teach me?" He asked, looking hopeful.
"Of course." I had thought my clinging to him for dear life last night would have clued him that I wouldn't be giving up on us so easily again.
"So you forgive? Because, baby, I am so sorry."
"I thought we already established that we should just skip over the apologies, Sam. We're both sorry, because we both acted stupid. Let's move on."
"Okay, then where do you want to go from here?"
"I think we need to go over the issues that caused the fight to begin with."
"I agree. What do you want to talk about first?"
"Leah."
Sam took a deep breath. "All right, what about her?"
"Did you mean what you wrote in the letter?"
"I meant every word, Bella. I promise to make it painstakingly clear to her that I do not and will not ever in the future want a romantic relationship with her. If Leah can't accept that and only want to be my friend, then I'll end the friendship with her. You are the most important thing to me. I should have sensed your unease about my relationship with her without jumping on your back when you made your concerns known."
"I don't– I mean, I know that she's one of your oldest friends. And I hate that you may lose that friendship because of me. I sorry–"
"No, Bella. I won't lose it because of you. I'll lose my friendship with her because of Leah. It's up to her how she wants things to go. Her actions decide whether or not our friendship continues. I plan on being with you for the rest of my life, and as my friend, she needs to recognize and respect that. If she can't, then she can't, and our friendship will be better off ending. It won't be your fault at all, so don't worry."
I sighed. It still felt like my fault. My whiny ass caused him to make this decision.
"Okay. So what next?"
"Are you still apprehensive because of the tribe?" he asked.
"Yeah, Sam," I said, annoyed. How could that not bother me? Most relationships have maybe one or two people against it, not a whole freaking tribe.
"You know what they think doesn't matter to me."
"Sam, what do we plan to do about the law? The law matters. It matters a lot. I would like to marry you in the future, and because of that stupid law, I can't."
"We'll deal with it when the time comes."
"And how do you propose we do that?" I needed to know that we would find a way to be together. If the tribe never liked or accepted me, that was fine. I'd get over it. But I needed to know that I could still be with the man I loved.
"Bella, we don't even know if I'll be Alpha when it comes to the time when we get married."
"What do you mean?" I asked confused. Who else would be Alpha?
He looked over at me sadly before answering. "Jacob."
"No," I said, shaking my head. "I asked the Cullens to leave so he wouldn't have to go through that. You said that would work, that would keep him from phasing."
"I said it might work, Bella. His height increases more and more each month. Billy said his temperature has started to slightly rise as well. It seems that they may have left too late. I'm sorry."
"When do you foresee he'll phase?"
"He probably still has a few more months, unless something speeds the process up between now and then."
"Like what?"
"Like if new leeches come around, or if he becomes angrier more often."
None of this seemed fair. "So after he phases we won't have to worry about the law?"
"Not after he takes his position."
"And what if he doesn't?"
"Bella, I'm almost positive he'll phase."
"No. I mean if he doesn't want the Alpha job. You can't force him to take it, can you?"
"No I can't. But I would assume he would do his duty."
"Jacob is one of my best friends. I don't really see him wanting that kind of some of his chance to just be a kid, but laying Alpha on him, that would eliminate any chance he had at enjoying his last years as a teenager freely."
"What are you saying, Bella?"
"I think that you shouldn't pressure him into taking the job if he isn't ready for it just so we can get married. We can wait, or we can work around the law somehow."
"I could petition against the law, ask the tribe to recant it."
"Sam, no one approves of me; they'd never do that just so you can marry the outside they don't like."
"We can work on that. The people at the Center love you, as do the kids. I've even had a couple of parents speak to me about you, because their kids raved about you to them at home. We have a small number of people that would support us right now, and we can make that number larger. We just need a plan of action."
"You sound like you plan on us creating a political campaign for me to win election."
"In a way, that's exactly what I'm saying."
"I have to literally win their votes so that they'll retract the law?" I asked dumbly.
"I think this is our best line of offense."
"Well, I guess if we start now, then it won't look as obvious as to what we're doing as if we started after we got engaged or something."
"You're right. I think if we wait, they'll see through it." Thinking about it, it seemed ridiculous.
"Sam, I feel kind of wrong about this. I feel like I'm attempting to manipulate the tribe into liking me."
"Not at all, Bella. We simply put you out there a little more. You already do good things; we just need to make them better known. Like the Center, people just need to know about the good things you already do for the tribe and how you can help in the future."
"I suppose if that's what it'll take."
"I'll step down if I have to, Bella. If this doesn't work, and Jacob doesn't phase or refuses to ever take the position, then I'll walk away from the pack. Jared and Paul can rock-paper-scissors for Alpha for all I care. If the tribe won't let me marry you, then screw them. They don't know what they're missing out on. But I'll be damned if I'm going to lose you. You come first."
"You're giving up too much to be with me."
Sam stood up and moved over to me, picking me up and placing me in his lap. "No, Bella, don't even start with that crap. I want – no I need to be with you, for myself. You didn't ask me to do this, I decided for myself."
"Let's hope it doesn't come to any of that. God, I just wish people would get over their issues."
"I know, baby, me too. So is this a good lead in to me listing out all of the ways and reasons I love you?" I looked up at the man that so obviously loved me. I wasn't sure how I could have ever doubt his love.
I shook my head. "No. I don't want you to tell me. If you ever feel it's the right time, then you can share at that time. But I don't want you to tell me just because I'm being a big baby. I want to hear those things when you want to tell them to me. I think it'll mean more then."
"If you're sure, Bella. I don't mind telling you now. I should have to begin with, but I just didn't look at things from your point of view. I'll work on that in the future. Just be patient with me."
"I'm sure."
"So now that we have the rest of the day, what do you want to do?"
"Movie marathon?" I suggested.
"Sounds good, here or my house?"
"Your house."
"All right. Then let's go."
It felt good to be at his side again, in his arms. I belonged there, and I wouldn't let anything else keep me from staying right there. And I refused to let myself be one of those things in the way. I would fight for Sam if I had to.
Still I felt a bit of heartbreak. It angered and saddened me that Jacob would be dragged into this life unwillingly. I wanted to protect my best friend. I truly didn't thing he would want any part of this life. Jacob was a gentle, kind soul, not a killer. I didn't think of Sam, Jared or Paul as monsters by any means, but they had dissimilar personalities from Jacob. This type of life would wear on him differently. Sam said he had a few more months, and I hoped that that to be true. No matter when it happened, I would be there for my sun.
In the mean time, I had other work to do. In the long-term, I had to win over the tribe. But what I considered my harder and more present challenge, I had to win over Paul still.
