Hey everyone!

i know that this may seem annoying and pathetic, but i just have to say how I really feel. Fell free to skip this if you want...

Author Dilemma: I was (and still am, sorta) honestly considering deleting all of my stories on . I just took a look at this story and my other stories (especially those that arent getting many reviews)...and i'm like...Wow. I really SUCK! I mean, it might be just me, but i have so much trouble coming up with believable characters, and it's embarrassing how childish my writing is. I know i'm young, but heck, i'm not THAT young! i try so hard, and yet when I compare my writing to stuff like (and these are just a few fantastic examples from the top of my head) Ripples by Yellow Mask, and Double Edged by nimblnymph, it makes me really angry because I wish that my writing was just as amazing! I mean, seriously! I thought that I was a pretty good writer, but then these stories just come and blow me out of the water! And some of the authors arent that much older than I am! Gah! I just...feel a bit stupid for building myself up like i have, making myself believe that I actually could someday make a career in writing novels and such. i guess that it just comes as a shock to realize that I'm not as good as I thought I was. I'm pretty unoriginal, and i just dont have the way with words that some people have. And I know that a lot of people like this story and my other stories, but...i dont know. Writiing makes me so happy, but when i think of actually trying to pursue it...i just have to take one look at some of the authors on here and i know that that's the farthest thing from reality.

Okay, pity party is officially over! I hope that i at least find the incentive to finish this story before deciding what to do in terms of my writing.

Hope you guys enjoy it, and please review!

(oh, and I wrote the last line completely by accident. And then, i looked at the title and I'm like OMG A COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL CONNECTION!)


Electronic Journal

Name: Sara Mason

Location: RDA Station

Date: March 3, 2155

Entry 13

It's been a while since I've used this thing; my fingers aren't used to typing after all this time. But I suppose it's like learning to ride a bicycle…once you learn, you never quite forget. It's nice to know that I haven't completely abandoned my human self in the process of becoming One of The People. I'm still the same old Sara Mason, even if I am nine and a half feet tall and blue. Oh yeah, and I have a tail. How could I possibly forget?

Kinak left a few hours ago to go fly with his banshee, leaving me here alone in the Avatar hut. It's almost sunset, so I'll meet him at the gates in half an hour or so. I'm currently typing away on my laptop, cursing the size of the letter keys, and wondering what Kinak could possibly have planned.

And of course, coming up with nothing. Good god, I'm bad at anything that involves guessing.

But something that's even more pressing is the fact that we still are clueless in terms of who is messing with the Life Giving Tree. It's really starting to piss me off, because the person who's messing with it could be doing unspeakable damage, and here we were just sitting around and speculating. I really felt tempted to get every single scientist in the base and dangle them over a cliff until the person who was there that night came forward. I was really, really close to resorting to that tactic, because there were so few options for us.

I just wanted life to be peaceful for Pandora, because after all that had happened, the place deserved that courtesy. But of course…as long as there were humans here, there would always be a link to the destruction of before. As long as any figment of human technology existed here, so would the greed and mercilessness that accompanied that technology.

It hurt me to say it, but after this was all over…the humans would have to leave. That meant even Max and the rest of the friends I had come to know over the six years I had been here. There was a single ship left at the RDA station, and it was programmed with a direct path to Earth, because none of the scientists knew how to handle a space ship.

Humans could no longer be welcome on Pandora. I spoke to Sänume about this, and she agreed wholeheartedly.

"The time of the Skypeople is over, 'evi. It ended the moment Eywa gave her power to the creatures of the forest and used that power to overcome the enemy in the Great Battle."

It made me sad though, that in sending the humans away, I was also sending away my last connection to home. Once the humans left, the computers would be shut down, and all communications with Earth would be severed save the message Jake had sent in the beginning.

Don't return to Pandora, unless you have a death wish.

That meant that I would never be able to talk to Max again, I would never be able to make contact with any friends back on Earth. My parents…my siblings…all abandoned.

I was ready for this though, I had been ready for some time now. I had chosen my path when I decided to become One with The People, and I was happy with my decision.

But before anything could happen, we needed to find the person that was responsible for this mess, and quickly. I was tired of having something looming over my head, I just wanted to live my life as normally as I could in this supernatural world that had become my home.

Sigh.

If only finding the solution was as easy as typing it.

That'll be the day, when something is extraordinarily simple and easy for me to accomplish.

Psh…in my dreams maybe, but in real life?

Not a chance.

End of Entry 13


It was sunset, and the area around the station was silent and calm as the bioluminescence glowed just beyond the steel gates of the Avatar Compound. The rain was still falling, but with much less force, soothing and comforting rather than harsh and seemingly everlasting.

Norm Spellman stared at the screen of Sara's laptop with wistful eyes, his long blue fingers resting lightly on the keys as if trying to imagine the warmth of her fingers on the keys. His golden eyes were staring at her words sadly, and his tail loosely wrapped around his ankle, strands of his dark hair hanging around his face.

He knew that this was invading her privacy, but he couldn't find the incentive to move away from the small wooden desk that resided on the far wall of the Avatar hut. Sara would never find out…just like she would never fully understand his feelings for her. It was pathetic, how he clung to the shadows like this. But with Kinak in the picture…Norm knew that he didn't stand a chance.

Every time he saw those two together, always smiling, his heart would pound excruciatingly and a slow and torturous pain began to throb in his stomach and in his chest.

Norm wished that Sara Mason had never walked into the lunch room that day. He wished that she had somehow – like most of the other scientists working in the Avatar Compound – escaped his notice.

Norm had liked her from the very start. The instant she walked into that room where he and Jake were sneaking away the box of chocolate, she had snagged him on her little finger, and now he couldn't bear to pull himself away.

Jake had liked her too – it was hard not to, after discovering the friendly and loyal girl behind the somber exterior of a scientist – but that slight romantic attraction had faded after the night that they all had gotten impossibly drunk. The three had been drinking vodka…at least, that's what Norm remembered. His memories were fuzzy in relation to that particular incident. Jake still considered her a friend, and that fact made Norm sigh in relief. A nerdy guy like him couldn't hope to compete with a handsome and playful soldier like Jake Sully.

Sara was the light of Norm's life, and however corny that statement sounded, it was true. It was her encouraging brown eyes that got him through all those early mornings without coffee, it was the sight of her wavy blonde hair pulled back in a casual ponytail that made a smile appear on his face. It was her voice that made his head snap around like a rubber-band.

And like a rubber-band that snaps after being stretched too far…Sara was lost to him. Lost to another man who loved her for the warrior she was, loved her for all of her wonderful beauty, and would continue to love her in a way that Norm never could.

At first, Norm had felt betrayed. He had always assumed that he would wait until he was ready to approach her, and she would wait for him with open arms. He was a fool to think that Sara would just go unnoticed by the male population of the Tipani Clan, he was a fool for thinking that she would ever see him in that way.

But now, as he stared at the words on the small screen, that betrayal was absent. In its place was a smoldering ball of anguish and regret. What was the point in blaming Sara for his pain, when she didn't even know why he was in pain? How could she possibly know that she was the cause?

Norm had told her that he loved her, and she had taken it completely the wrong way. But it wasn't her fault. It was his fault…Norm should have told Sara his feelings before the war even started, before Kinak was even in the picture. Could they have had a chance?

The man growled under his breath, and pushed away from the desk with a hiss, closing the laptop and turning to leave the hut. But suddenly, he bumped into another Avatar driver, and Norm blinked before relaxing into a smile.

"Kira, I didn't know that any Avatar drivers were still out…isn't it past curfew?"

Kira smiled slightly, and her eyes glinted dangerously as Norm frowned. "Kira?"

Suddenly, blinding pain erupted in Norm's chest, and he looked down to see a thick knife protruding from his chest, glistening with bright crimson liquid. Norm wanted to scream, but the sight of Kira smiling smugly filled him with such shock that words were impossible.

Kira…was the one who was doing all of this? Kira was the one who was trying to harm the Life-Giving Tree? But how?

And why?

"You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, Norm. A pity for you…" Kira crooned, touching his cheek gently before pushing him down roughly.

Pain filled Norm's every breath as he fell clumsily to his knees. A spinning sensation filled his mind as the blood continued to leave him with slow and steady throbs. A human man darted around from behind Norm, grinning viciously. Kira murmured some instructions to the soldier, and then the two of them lifted a box out from under one of the bunks, and quickly left the hut. But not before Norm caught the label on the side of the box. It was the label used for deadly poisons, and his mind sluggishly put two and two together.

But his mind was slowing down, shutting down, and the man watched as the two figures disappeared into the rain.

Norm coughed up a mouthful of blood, and with a determined hiss, he reached for the laptop. Sara had to know what was going on, she had to know who was behind all of this. She had to stop Kira before it was too late.

He ignored the fleeting panic that rushed through him at the thought of his breaths being numbered.

Because what was the point of panicking when you already knew that you were going to die?


I met Kinak at the gates, and called Atan down from the nest of trees that held most of the Na'vi guards' banshees. The two of us flew under the upper layer of branches, shielded by the thick leaves that made up that layer. We wove in between trees, and soon arrived in a small clearing that was slightly familiar to me. I frowned as we landed, and Kinak wiped the rainwater from his brow just as the sun sunk below the horizon.

The bright lights from the bioluminescent plants began to flicker and glow as darkness fell, and a strange feeling hit me as I saw the light of the sun fade beneath the horizon.

Something wasn't right.

But before I could really think about it, Kinak took my hand, and the happiness on his handsome features wiped away all feelings of unease. If Kinak was here, everything was alright.

I leaned into his touch, and stared around at the bright lights, still awed by their beauty that seemed accentuated by the soft fall of the rain. It made everything so much more ethereal, and I wanted to imprint the sight into my memory.

"It's so beautiful, Kinak." I murmured, leaning back to let the soft rain fall onto my face. Kinak chuckled, and I felt his hand tug me in his direction as he began to walk.

"It is, but that's not what I wished to show you."

"What is it?" I asked suddenly, hoping to throw him off guard. But Kinak knew me too well, and his lips turned in a smug smile, his finger reaching out to flick my nose playfully.

"Tìmweypey, ma taronyutsyìp…"

I growled as his name for me, and whipped my tail so it flicked his calves. Kinak only grinned more widely, and I huffed as his hips butted against mine teasingly.

Patience, my little hunter.

Kinak was enjoying my irritation way too much, but I let it go as a bright light came into view. I remembered where I had seen this before…it was that night when I had gotten separated from Norm and the others. I suddenly knew where we were going, and my breath left my chest in a gust as Kinak pushed aside the thick leaves that served as a barrier, revealing the Life-Giving Tree.

It was beautiful. To try and put it into words would be impossible, because no words would ever do it justice. I thought that I had seen beauty when I visited it before, but all of that was blown away as I saw what the rain did to the soft pink light.

Also, hundreds of those jelly-fish things from before – I had learned that they were seeds of the Sacred Tree, also known as atokirina' – were floating along the surface of the water, twirling and spinning lazily. Kinak smiled at my shock, and his tail loosely traced patterns on my leg.

"They often gather here at txon'ong."

I nodded, watching as the spirits seemed to sense our arrival, and began to float towards us. Kinak sucked in a surprised gasp as they began to spin around the two of us, their tendrils lightly touching our skin as they went. I smiled at their touch, and reached up to lightly cup one of them in my hands. Kinak watched in awe as the small creature lightly rested in my palm, and a soft sigh seemed to emerge from the very earth beneath our feet.

After a moment, the creatures drifted away once more, but still remained near the water as Kinak slowly led me toward the edge. I stepped in without hesitation, feeling the cool water against my calves as we waded towards the island that resided in the center of the lake. My heart began to race as we reached the shore, and I felt the energy that pulsed through every particle of air that surrounded this place.

"Hello…" I murmured, touching the thick pink strands that hung from the soft brown branches. I felt the warmth in my fingers as I touched my cheek reverently to the strands before pulling away.

Kinak swallowed hard behind me, and reached up to lightly touch my shoulders. I sighed at his touch, smiling as I turned to face him.

"Do you like it, Sara?"

I nodded happily. "It's so beautiful! I never thought I'd ever see something like this…it's perfect." I grinned up at him, and watched as he smiled back. He let me go for a moment, and moved to sit down beside the tree trunk, kneeling with his back facing me, reaching for his thick braid. I smiled, a bit confused by his actions. But I let him have his moment, and turned to crouch beside the water, touching the surface of the lake and watching the spirits gather around my fingers, dancing and sighing in contentment.

I turned around again, and approached Kinak. The man was removing his braid from the thick cluster of pink strands, and turned to look up at me with a loving smile. His hands came up to cup my cheeks as I knelt down beside him, and I felt the strangest sense of déjà vu. But I ignored it as Kinak let out a shaky sigh.

"What's wrong, Kinak?"

"Will you become my mate, Sara?" Kinak almost hissed the words, his eyes closing tightly as he finished. I blinked rapidly, wondering if I had just heard him right. He wanted to mate…with me? With plain ol' Sara Mason? I must be dreaming!

I pinched myself, hard, and winced as the pain shot up my skin. Kinak frowned deeply at my actions, and I shook my head furiously. Nope, definitely wasn't dreaming.

I let my eyes flicker up to meet his, and they were filled with fear and with love. I smiled slightly, and let my hands gently rest in his. The air around us was soothing and calm, and I took strength from that as I whispered.

"You…really mean it?"

Kinak let out a relieved sigh as he cupped my hands in between his tenderly. "Of course."

I felt the warmth descending down on me, and couldn't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. I remember scoffing at all of those romantic movies in which the girl is always sobbing her heart out when the man gets down on one knee and pops the question.

But now, as I sat there, staring into the eyes of the man I loved, I understood. Kinak – the person I loved with every fiber of my being, who I respected and adored, who I understood and cherished – had just said that he wanted to be with me. It was so much more than marriage in the human world, because the Na'vi mate for life. There was no divorce, there was no way to just back out. Your mate was your mate forever, the person you would love, the person you would cry with, laugh with, make decisions with, have children and grandchildren with…and the person that you would die with.

And Kinak wanted all to do all of that with me.

The thought made my tears increase in volume, and Kinak brushed them away with his thumbs, worry creasing his face as he held my face in his large hands.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I'm so happy...that's what's wrong…" I sobbed, and Kinak frowned.

"Then…"

I smiled, wiping my tears away. "I'd want nothing more than to be your mate, Kinak. That's what that means."

Kinak's face lit up so fast that I almost laughed, and his breath released shakily as he pressed his forehead against mine.

"Irayo…" Kinak breathed, and I smiled as his hands rested lightly on my lower back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him with everything I had.

Kinak responded immediately, and the feeling of the rain on my skin and the hot shivers his kiss sent down my spine made my heart race.

We couldn't get close enough, we couldn't kiss deeply enough. There was an ache that began to pulse in my chest as we kissed and touched, and Kinak gently nuzzled my neck, pulling forward his braid and slowly connecting it with mine.

What happened next is the most difficult to describe.

I could try and explain it as I did the connection between Atan and I, but even that explanation was just grazing the surface. The bond that formed between Kinak and I was so much deeper, and so much more intimate that it made every other physical sign of affection seem washed out in comparison.

Our very souls seemed to brush against each other, and with that contact came every single memory and every single experience we had experienced. In a flash, Kinak's memories and thoughts were streamed into me so fast that it seemed like a blur. But I understood every single image that passed before my eyes, because Kinak was there, and since we were one there was no need to explain.

Our kisses were so much more satisfying because we could feel every emotion that passed through our minds; we could feel ourselves and each other at the same time. I could feel the wonderful warmth of his skin against my fingers, but I could also feel the softness of my lips against his, and the pleasure he found in running his hands through my long braids.

Somehow, our garments seemed to vanish under our fingers, and Kinak's hands were everywhere on my skin, his lips tracing the curve of my throat and caressing the pulse point there.

My hands were everywhere too, pulling him closer, burying themselves in his hair as he pushed into that place that my material body desperately wanted him to enter.

My mind was embracing his with a fierceness that surprised me, but I felt comforted at the realization that his mind was clinging to mine just as strongly.

Apart, we were just two individuals…passing each day alone within their thoughts, feeling their own experiences and dealing with pain or embarrassment in solitude.

But now…neither of us had to think in solitude. Because after tonight, there would always be someone who knew us inside and out, someone who had literally been inside our minds and inside our bodies. Someone who would love us unconditionally.

Kinak and I were gasping for breath, but I managed to choke out what I most wanted to say to him in that moment.

"I see you."

Kinak kissed me again, and whispered against my lips. "I see you."

I had said that phrase to so many people, and as much as I wanted it to be true, I could never really see them. Even with Kinak, those words had just missed that true feeling of acceptance. Because there was only so much two people could experience together as friends or even as lovers. In the human world, sex was the closest thing, and even that action was just short of what Kinak and I pledged.

We saw into each other more deeply than anyone ever would, and we saw every aspect of ourselves that had been hidden before.

After seeing Kinak, my relationship with everyone else would seem slightly dimmed, pale shells in comparison to what he and I now shared.

I would see them.

But I would never truly see.