Estuans interius ira vehementi... Estuans interius ira vehementi...
GAME SLAVE 2
"So…how did you like that trip to outer space?" Nick asked after he and Kelsey returned from the moon. He now stood on her doorstep, the porch light on.
"It was…new." She admitted.
"Well I've got to get going home." Nick said, kissing her on the lips. "See you in school, okay?"
He waved goodbye, then flew away through the air, humming happily to himself. He'd identified Jhonen's killer, Dib and Zim had apparently been turned back to normal on their own, and what was going to happen soon with Gaz would be something that the powerful little girl could take care of herself. Things were really working out for him now.
…
…
…
…As the Vampire Piggy Hunter raised his glowing sword, cape swirling in the air as he narrowed his eyes, standing before the front gate of the dark castle. He saw a flare in the sky as a vampire piggy soared at him, glowing like a fireball as it hurled towards him, the first of many that were soon on their way, snarling and hissing.
The Vampire Piggy Hunter shot out bolts of energy out of sword, blasting a couple of the vampire piggies out of the sky. Unfortunately now a large group of them circled around him, firing LASERS from their eyes! Leaping backwards, VPH dodged the shots, then held his sword up, reflecting several blasts right back at the piggies, who stood there, confused for a moment…
Then they all swarmed at him! And unfortunately though he swung his sword left and right he couldn't take them ALL on, and soon he was buried underneath a large pile of vampire piggies as the words "GAME OVER" appeared on the screen of Gaz's game slave. She frowned as Dib, sitting next to her on the couch, read "Crazy Spooky's Interview with Bigfoot".
"Stupid blood pig!"
"Come on! Big foot would never say that!" Dib complained, whacking the magazine with his hand, frowning.
Gaz turned and glared at him. "Why do you have to read that in here? I'm trying to play a game!"
"I'm here because Mysterious Mysteries is on in five minutes!" Dib told her.
Then the TV came to life, and an announcement began to play. "The vampire piggies are back!"
Gaz's eyes widened, opening his eyes. "What?"
"And this time, they're back by the awesome power of the Game Slave 2!" The TV announcer spoke, as an image of three vampire piggies hovered over the sun. Then the VPH appeared, slashing one of the vampire piggies with his sword. The graphics were a LOT better than the first Game Slave, true.
"Are you still playing your old obsolete game slave 1? Why!?! What's wrong with you!?!" The TV announcer demanded. The commercial screen then dripped with blood, showing off the castle gates with the words "Vampire Piggy Hunter".
"Have we offended you some how? Huh? Huh? Huh?" The announcer shouted.
Dib frowned. Ugh. As if Gaz didn't spend ENOUGH time thinking about vampire piggies!
Then the words "In Stores Now" appeared on the screen. "On sale for 19.99 at all "Digital Fun Pit" locations! Lines are forming NOW!" The announcer spoke as the words "Game Slave 2" appeared on the screen in hot rod flames.
Gaz tossed her Game Slave to the side and it flew straight into the kitchen and past Prof. Membrane, who was looking into the fridge. He looked up to see it break against the wall, it's pieces sliding into a trash bin below as ghostly spirits arose from the wreckage. Gaz then hopped off the couch, walked off, then came back into the living room, dressed in her stealth suit and holding a bat. This she vowed:
A GAME SLAVE 2 WOULD BE HERS BEFORE SUNRISE!
"Wait, where do you think you're going?" Prof. Membrane asked, coming into the living room as Dib started to watch "Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery".
"To the mall. Game Slave 2 goes on sale at midnight. I need one." Gaz explained.
"Oh. Okay then, have fun. Just one thing." He added, holding up a finger. "Take your brother with you."
Gaz grunted. "Daaaaad!"
"It can be dangerous out there." Prof. Membrane insisted.
"That's what the BAT'S for." Gaz explained, holding the bat up in the air.
TWHOMP! A mechanical arm lowered from the ceiling, snatching the bat from Gaz. "Awwww!" She groaned.
"I've been waiting all night to see this! She can wait to get her stupid game!" Dib protested, folding his arms across his chest.
"Son, video games develop hand eye coordination, and make kids into better human beings!" Prof. Membrane insisted.
Dib sighed. "Okay... But only after the show is over." He insisted.
"You STINK!" Gaz snapped. But she knew that this was one argument she WASN'T going to win. Nevertheless, she vowed to make him pay SOMEHOW.
…
…
…
…"I'm the son of rage and love, Jesus of Suburbia, from the Bible of "None of the Above"…" White sang as he looked through the "Anarchist's Cookbook". He peeked his head over the book and waved at Gaz. "Hey Gaz!"
"Mr. White? Where's the line for the Digital Fun Pit?" Gaz asked.
"Thataway, Gazeline." White said, pointing to the right.
Gaz's eyes widened as she saw the ENORMOUS line stretching out from the Digital Fun pit at the second floor and ALLLL the way to the first floor. At the store a banner was hanging over the entrance which read "GAME SLAVE". Gaz groaned at the size of the line, then glared angrily at Dib, clenching her fists, her pupils vanishing in fury.
"It was a... really good episode..." Dib gulped.
FWOOOM! For a moment the whole place turned a fiery pit of hell before at last it returned to normal and a big smirk appeared on Gaz's face. "Hey, Dib. I think I saw a Chupacabra or something going into that parking garage." She sniggered.
Dib's eyes widened. "A Chupacabra? But there isn't a goat to feed on for MILES!" He immediately ran towards the door marked "parking lot". Gaz smirked, then headed back to the line. Soon, however, a kid with messy brown hair and a big yellow/orange t-shirt appeared near her. His eyes seemed to pop out of his sockets and his heart was a-thumping in his chest, showing off a flaming vampire piggy that was ON said t-shirt. Obviously he was a BIG fan of "VPH".
"Hey, is this the line for the GS2!?!" He inquired, getting spit on her face, which she wiped off.
"Yes...." She muttered.
Iggins pulled on his face. " Cool! As probably the best gamer in the city I had to get the Japanese GS2 a few months ago, but I needed this version because they included a new level... for the American release, the zombie hog level. My name's Iggins, what's yours?"
"…Gaz."
"That's a funny name." Iggins remarked.
"It's short for Gazeline or Gazoline, depending on the spelling." She explained as Iggins tugged on his ears.
"Your gonna love the new piggy hunter!" Iggins insisted.
Meanwhile, a burly man at the front of the Digital Fun pit was looking at the clerk at the register stand for the store, who was speaking through a megaphone.
"Okay guys, no loitering after you get your Game Slave 2s." He spoke as he opened up the line officially and kids began running inside the store. "As soon as you make your purchase, one of our clerks will assist in attaching you to this pulley cable that leads to the exit." He told the kids. Poonchy purchased his Game Slave 2 and pranced around happily, LOITERING.
THWOOMP! The burly man, who was nicknamed "Peaches", grabbed him by his collar and attached him to a hook that was attached to a pulley cable set up at the top of the store. He let go, and Poochy went flying down the zip line pulley, going into a tree. But…where was Dib? What was HE up to?
"There's no Chupacabras in here! Gaz should leave the paranormal sightings to the experts. Now, where's the exit? Man, this place is bigger than I thought." Dib groaned, holding his head as he wandered around the parking lot. "REALLY big…"
Meanwhile, Iggins and Gaz were still in line. Iggins kept going on and on about Vampire Piggy Hunter for the Game Slave 2. "-completed more mini-quests than are even in the game! That's how I know I am pretty much the master of all reality and all that encompasses it, because you know-"
FIVE MINUTES LATER…
"-and then all of the sudden, everyone is clapping when I beat the final boss! You know, I didn't think it would be so easy, but it was! it was totally easy! It was like completely easy!"
FIVE MORE MINUTES LATER…
"-but I've always remained true to myself, you know? I just gotta be Iggins, you know what I mean?"
"…no." Gaz mumbled.
The clerk handed Speegly his GS2 and the kid got on his knees. "Oh, thank you supreme being! Thank you!" He said happily just before Peaches grabbed him and put him on the pulley zip line.
"NEXT!" The clerk called out.
"Finally." Gaz gasped, waling up to the clerk, who looked at the empty shelves behind him.
"Hmm…uh…that's all!" he announced. "Uh, we should be getting more GS2s in stock in... maybe a month or two! Thanks for coming!"
Gaz began to foam at the mouth, eyes gaping wide. "What!?! NOOO!!! They can't ALL be gone! I sat through Mysterious Mysteries for this!?! There must be one left!" She sobbed.
The clerk held up a GS2. "Well…somebody ORDERED one but didn't pick it up. If…uh…" He held his head, moaning. "Iffffff…ah! If Clarence Wong doesn't show up…it's yours."
Iggins saw an opening. "Clarence Wong? That's ME!" He laughed happily. He shoved Gaz out of the way and pulled out some money, stuffing it into the clerk's hand and grabbing the GS2, skipping away.
Gaz snarled as she got back up, an aura of poisonous energy surrounding her. Before Iggins knew it, she was RIGHT in front of him.
"YOU'RE NO CLARENCE WONG. You stole my Game Slave. You said you gotta be Iggins." She growled.
"I saw an opening and I went for it. That's how I beat the Katchukablorg in Battle Battle Footy Kick, and that's why I'm the superior gamer." He remarked, skipping away as Gaz shook angrily. He sang happily, skipping out of the mall and towards a car, opening up the passenger seat as his mother was ready to drive him away…
But Gaz appeared AGAIN, eyes burning like dark fire. "That one is rightfully mine!" She growled. "I'll buy it from you, but there's no way you're keeping it. Not without invoking my WRATH anyhow!"
Iggins frowned. "Y'know…you need help. SERIOUS help."
SLAM! The car door shut and Iggins cheekily waved goodbye as it began to rain. Lightning struck the dark sky overhead as Gaz's hair began to drip down and a furious desire entered her. He had just CHEATED her out of her Game Slave 2!
VENGEANCE WOULD BE HERS!
Three teens scooted by her on scooters, laughing. Gaz snapped out one arm and grabbed one of the scooters, the rider flying off. Gaz hopped on the scooter and looked out over the town. That GS2 would be hers before the night was out. Meanwhile, Dib was still walking around the mall parking garage, on level three. He headed for the entrance door to level four and looked around.
"Hello!?!" He called out. He saw a car that was close by and headed towards it, but it drove off, tossing a Poop cola can out a back window. It was THEN that red-eyed, hairy-looking people with clawed nails and sharpened teeth appeared. One of them grabbed the can of poop cola, hissing.
"A colony of horrible rat people! Hey, do you know the way outta here?" Dib asked politely.
Some of the rat people began eating junk that was on the ground. "There is no way out! We all got lost here too! And we've been here ever since!" One of the rat people remarked.
"Everrrr since!" A female person spoke up, shaking her head.
"No way out! There's no way out!" Another added.
Dib folded his arms across his chest and gave them all a look. "Oh come ON! Getting lost in a parking garage did not turn you all into horrible rat people!"
"I was once a MAN!" A female spoke up, grinning.
"But you're a woman." Dib asked, looking confused. Maybe there WAS something wrong about this place after all.
"You'll be just like us soon!" The head rat person laughed, drooling madly.
"I don't think so. I think I see the exit over there! See ya!" Dib said nervously, walking off and waving goodbye.
…
…
…
…Lightning split the sky once more as Iggins, playing "his" new GS2 headed towards the house, his mom calling after him. "Don't forget to lock the door and go straight to bed!"
Iggins held his head up for a moment. "Alright, mom! Have fun at work!" He yelled out as his mom drove away to go to work. Yeah, she worked late. This was also her SECOND job, since Iggins's video-game-related needs were expensive. But what the now-merrily-skipping Iggins didn't see was Gaz pulling up on the scooter she'd "borrowed", a nasty glare in her stare as a monastic choir walked by, chanting ominously.
Koyaaaaaanisquanti…
Koyaaaaaanisquanti…
Iggins was now heading up the stairs to the bathroom, grunting as he took on a boss. "So we meet again, Ultra Pigulon! Prepare for destruction!" He laughed, heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth. As it were, he had a headset-like device that brushed his teeth FOR him so HE could continue playing GS2.
SHA-BOOOOOM! Lightning struck and Iggins looked up into the mirror to see Gaz outside the bathroom window, dripping wet. "WHAT?!" He gasped, turning around…
And she was gone.
"…ah, I must be tired. But I've reached the new level!" He laughed happily, looking down at "his" GS2. "I'm ALMOST at the-"
He turned around and saw writing in the mirror.
"The…game…is…mine." Iggins read. "AAAH!" he gasped.
BA-BOOOM! Lighting flashed again and he turned to see Gaz was at the window.
"AAAA-wait…how did you write THAT if you're out…" He turned back to the mirror, then back to the window…but Gaz was gone. "Huh?"
BA-WHOOM! Gaz was now jutting out from the left side of the window.
"AAAA!" Iggins screamed.
BA-WHOOM! Now the RIGHT side!
"AAAAA!"
BA-WHOOOM! Now upside-down!
"AAAAAAAAA!!!" Iggins cried out like a little girl, shaking madly as she disappeared AGAIN. He ran to the window and looked outside and saw…she wasn't there.
But then he could hear immense…IMMENSE pounding. Coming from…
The FRONT DOOR.
"Oh noooo…" He gasped. "I didn't lock it!" He realized.
The door handle jiggled, and then…she stepped inside.
"The Game Slave 2, give it to me!" She demanded, pointing at Iggins.
"YAAAGH!" Iggins cried out, rushing to the closet and panting heavily as the headset device he'd been wearing was dropped to the ground by sheer force of shock. Then he looked down at "his" GS2 and saw the words "Battery Low" were present on the screen.
"Oh no! The power's low…but I haven't reached the save point yet! I HAFTA see the zombie hog!" He groaned. "Need…batteries…" He gasped, tugging on his shirt collar.
Then he heard her walking by, growling like a zombie pig. He held his breath and waited…and eventually she passed by the door. As soon as she was far away enough he RAN for it, heading for the living room, sobbing in fear. "BATTERIES! MUST…FIND…BATTERIES!"
He reached the purple-painted living room and picked up the remote control for the TV seeing…
THE BATTERIES…GONE!
He ran to his room, heading for his desk and grabbed a toy monkey that played the cymbals, but he saw that batteries for THOSE were taken too! He tossed it to the side and groaned. "Monkey, why have you betrayed me!?!"
He ran to his computer to go the emergency batteries that were always kept in the special glass container nearby…
THEY were gone as well. "No…" Iggins gasped. "Nooo…NOOOOO!!!"
He ran to the bathroom…the hair dryer! THAT had to-
AAA! Gaz was inside the bathroom and she growled. "Looking for THESE?" She asked, holding an entire bag of batteries over the toilet bowl below.
"I need those! Save point... so close..." Iggins begge.d
Gaz pointed at him with her other hand, eyes narrowed even MORE than usual, and THAT was sayin' something. "What you NEED is to give the Game Slave to me or I will plunge you into a nightmare world from which there is no waking!" She promised darkly. "What you did was CHEATING in taking that Game Slave 2. I CAN'T get behind cheating…but REVENGE…" She smirked evilly as poisonous flames arose around her. "THAT'S a different story!"
Iggins could only come up with ONE response to that threat. "But... I'm a better gamer than you!" He whined.
Gaz's right eye popped open in surprise/anger. "I'm a better gamer"!? Oh, he was SO asking for it. "Fine…I HOPE YOU LIKE NIGHTMARE WORLDS!" Gaz roared, dropping the bag straight in.
KA-THWOOOOM! Electricity shot out through the air, right out of the toilet!
"It's MADNESS…MADNESS!" Iggins cried out as the entire house shook violently.
Gaz smirked. "THIS…is REVENGE." She laughed evilly.
SUPER-HAPPY-MID-STORY-AUTHOR'S NOTE!
Nick appears in the middle of a big, pink background, riding atop a unicorn. "Lemme guess…you were all expecting some stupid "300" joke, right? They're SO overdone! That "This is Sparta" joke has RUINED the movie for me!" He then laughs and turned to Kelsey, who was riding behind him. "Now then Kelsey, onward we shall go…to the Land of Milk and Cookies to see princesses who look like Madonna with their hair actually combed!"
…
…
…
…Iggins had RUN for his life to the "Battery Tower" building, the one place he knew he'd be able to get batteries. It was over fifty stories high and had battery-shaped elevators on all sides. Running inside, he headed into the futuristic-looking building and up to a clerk, who was sitting behind a booth shaped like…you guessed it…a battery. She was a dark-haired, pink-sunglasses wearing woman who looked QUITE bored.
"WHERE ARE THE BATTERIES?!" Iggins begged. "DOUBLE A?!?"
"Batteries? 50th floor." She said, jabbing her thumb at an elevator.
Iggins ran into the battery-shaped elevator and struck the button for the fiftieth floor over and over and over and OVER, panting and squealing like a pig, eyes bugging out more than usual. The elevator button popped out of it's socket and struck his head and the elevator ZOOMED up at top speed, making Iggins sigh in relief. There was no WAY that creepy Gaz could catch up to him NOW!
…then the elevator shot PAST the 50th floor.
Okay, boys and girls! It's "Scream-O-Vision" time! When I say "Scream" in big bold letters, you scream along with Iggins? Ready? One…two…
SCREAM.
"AAAAAAAA!!!" Iggins bawled. Suddenly the door burst open as it reached the top floor and…
There she was! Gaz had CLIMBED up the building and was now glaring at Iggins intently.
SCREAM.
"GUAAAAAAH!!!" Igigns ran back inside, but Gaz followed after him and into the elevator, clenching her fists as Iggins hid in the corner of the elevator.
"Give me the vampire piggies!" She demanded.
"You're CRAZY!" Iggins shouted. "It's MINE! MIIIINE!" He cried out.
Gaz's eyes narrowed. Then she headed over to the elevator keypad and slammed her fist onto it, as a purple light shot out, going through the keypad. Lighting shot out from the keypad and the elevator went into a FREEFALL!
SCREAM.
"MAAAAAAMMMMEEEEEEE!!!"
Down and down and down it went! And then…
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Take it! It's yours!" Iggins sobbed, holding it up. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" He said, beginning to cry.
Crying? Yep. Crying meant sincerity.
PING!
Gaz pressed the emergency stop button and BOOMP!
It stopped at the fiftieth floor! Gaz calmly took the GS2, headed onto the fiftieth floor, then flung the old batteries that had been in the GS2 into the air. She then tossed the GS2 up into the air, then used her other hand to toss some new batteries which landed RIGHT inside the GS2! She calmly held out her hands and caught the GS2 and then…
It stopped raining. A beautiful light shone down around Gaz as a heavenly choir sang. "Ahhh." She said, her hair returning to normal, no longer wet. "The rightful order has been restored." She remarked, smiling happily as she began to play the GS2.
But Iggins just snarled and clenched his fist. "You'll never be a better gamer than me! Play all you want! I'll always be better!"
SNAP! The cord snapped and Iggins vanished with a cry of "ALWAAAAAAYS!"
"OOH." Gaz shuddered. THAT hadn't been her work. She promptly walked off.
…
…
…
…Dib looked left and right as he walked around town, glad the rain had stopped. He saw an ENORMOUS wreck and recognized said wreck as a "Battery Tower" elevator. He then headed by it, nonchalantly walking down the sidewalk, recognizing the street he was on and headed back for him.
Therefore, he didn't see the arm that burst out of the wreckage. Iggins popped out, grinning wildly, eyes popping. He laughed madly and SOARED into the air, fist held up high as he laughed and laughed and laughed…
…
…
…
…it had been a day since Iggins had apparently changed. Now he FLEW to school every chance he got. Nick just took this in stride. He took a LOT of things about this world in stride.
What he DIDN'T take in stride was what happened a few minutes after class had ended and he was meeting Kelsey in the teacher's lounge. She said she had a little something she had to give him.
After handing him a quick note, Kelsey headed towards the door. Nick smiled nervously at her vanishing form before he walked out of the room and looked the note over…
And as he read word after word, his eyes became wider and wider, his mouth opening more and more…
…it was a "Dear John" note. She was breaking up with him because "my friends and I think you're too weird".
Slowly his mouth closed and he put the note in his pocket, resting his body against a nearby school locker. He blinked a few times, then began to walk purposefully outside.
'Till I finally died…which started the whole world living…
Nick opened up the doors of the school and began to walk down the steps, finally falling to his knees. GIR, who had been waiting outside the school for his master, seemed surprised to see "Mr. Ator", but didn't move forward, because what happened next stopped all his questions.
Oh, if I'd only seeeeeen…
The last bell of school rang. Everyone piled out…and stopped at the front door. Nick was looking up at the sky, tears streaming down his cheeks as he sobbed.
That the joke was on meeee…
Zim, Dib and Gaz stood there, looking at the whole scene, somehow unable to say anything…what COULD they say? What could they DO?
That the joke was on meeeee…
He then covered his face with his hands, hunching over and sobbing before they finally fell limp to the ground and he just sobbed and sobbed, his tears falling to the ground as rain battered his body, hitting his form over and over with stinging needles of water…
That the joke was on meee-eeee…
And the rain continued to fall as people slowly made their way around him, the roar of the rain unable to drown out the youth's wailing cries.
