Hey there everyone. I feel a bit ashamed that it's taken me this long to write this chapter… I've been rather distracted. Christmas etc. However to be fair, this chapter IS rather long… Hopefully that makes up a bit for the wait… I'm so sorry! But it's here! At long last!
...Riyan...
The whole school was in uproar. David Hasselhoff… a teacher?! Apparently so. And it sounded as if he was a good one too. After every class of his ended, a stream of students came out beaming and talking wildly... Harry was impatient for his own lesson with The Hoff as the behaviour reminded him almost of when Moody came to Hogwarts and mad as Moody was, they learned a lot.
Thus Harry was very excited when Thursday rolled around. Double Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins, not that it bothered Harry anymore which house they were with as he liked people from all the houses now. Hell, he really liked one of them! Although they hadn't been able to spend much time together since school started, what with work and Harry's "problem". He really ought to ask Hermione about that, but she was hardly ever around anymore.
Harry observed that she and Blaise were becoming closer and closer as the days wore on. He wondered whether they'd actually gotten together yet. He didn't think they had, but he hadn't talked to her about that in a while... He knew she wanted things to happen, but was unsure of how he felt. He wondered if she'd just bitten the bullet and kissed him yet.
He couldn't talk to Ron about that though for although Ron seemed to be into a new person, he still seemed distant. Perhaps he was occupied with work…
So Harry sat next to Draco in the Defence Against the Dark Arts Class. Ron looked at him, confused and a bit lost. Hermione was sitting with Blaise; Harry was with Draco… Who was he supposed to sit with? Luckily, Pansy came sailing through the door a second later and he sat next to her, secretly smiling to himself.
"So, what do you think Hasselhoff will be like as a teacher?" Draco asked Harry who shrugged.
"I dunno. Apparently he's good."
"Bet he's not as good as you!"
"Draco!"
"What?!" Draco asked, smirking.
"I'm not that good. I mean… Look at what happened this summer..." Harry said.
"It was an accident, Har."
"I know, but I still feel bad." He hung his head and frowned. Draco reached out and took his hand. He flinched and pulled it away. "Scar," he mumbled, frowning even more.
"We should talk to Dumbledore about that, Har," Draco said. Harry nodded. "He'll probably know what to do, and why it only hurts sometimes." Harry nodded again.
At this point they were interrupted by the arrival of The Hoff. He was wearing a shirt that read 'Don't Hassel the Hoff'. Harry smiled at that.
"Good morning class. I'm Professor Hasselhoff, but you can call me Prof Hoff as it's shorter. Right. Now. To business! Today we're going to be learning about Voldemort, because I think you guys should know about him. We're going to be studying his past, his followers, everything. And some of the information will come from you guys," Prof Hoff looked pointedly at Harry and Draco. "Because some of you know more about parts of him than I do. This is going to be a class project for the entire term. At the end, I hope we shall have gathered enough information for us to truly be able to defeat him."
The class stared. A few of them blinked. Almost in unison. Draco raised a hand.
"Uh, sir?" he asked.
"Please, call me Prof Hoff! Sir is so… old sounding." Draco nodded.
"Where are we going to be getting our information from?"
"All over the place. Some from you, some from books, some from Muggle software called The Internet," he paused. The wizards in the class were starting to look worried. "It's okay. I'll teach you how to use it. Oh and some from going out, yes outside of school, and talking to people. Any other questions?" Silence reigned. "Right. Then we'll begin."
They spent the rest of the lesson learning about Voldemort's heritage. Long story short: he was descended from Salazar Slytherin, and some muggles.
The class went out chattering excitedly.
"Wow mate!" cried Ron as he caught up with Harry in the corridor. "That was intense! And amazing! This'll be really useful for you with fighting him too, won't it?!" he asked. Harry nodded. "Hasselhoff is great! Isn't he?" Harry nodded again. Prof Hoff was actually turning out to be the most useful DADA teacher Harry had ever had.
They enthused about this together until they reached their next lesson which was Potions where Snape was his usual grumpy self. They were assigned pairs to work on a Polyjuice Potion which they would work on until the end of term. Harry, as usual in Potions, was paired with Draco, only now he didn't mind anymore. Snape didn't care that Harry enjoyed Draco's company. He paired people he thought would work well on the potion together, and Potter and Malfoy seemed to be getting along well these days.
Harry and Draco high fived as they sat down at their desk. Snape ignored them and continued writing the instructions up on the board. Harry got out a quill and a roll of parchment and started copying them down. He vaguely remembered bits of method from second year, but not much.
Draco finished copying the instructions down before Harry did and so went to the store cupboard to start getting the ingredients needed. Once Harry had finished too, he helped with the ingredients. There were only a few to get as it was the start of the potion, so they spent the rest of the lesson preparing them and adding some to their cauldron.
The bell rang and the class excitedly cleared up their desks. Today was the day when they would announce the winners of the Superlatives Competition and it meant that they had the rest of the afternoon off.
There was going to be a special late lunch starting at two which would last right the way through the ceremony and the students had the next hour and a half until then in order to get ready for the celebration. They were required to dress smartly, in dress robes, as the teachers had told them that there was a surprise after the ceremony.
The corridors were jam packed by the time Harry and Draco emerged from clearing up. Harry scowled. He hated crowded corridors. Oh well. The ceremony would be fun.
Harry sighed and said goodbye to Draco before making his was slowly up to Gryffindor Tower which was packed with overexcited students. Harry sighed rather loudly and began fighting his way across to the stairs.
Ron and Dean were already changed into their dress robes when Harry finally made it into their dorm room. Seamus and Neville were missing. Seamus was probably outside with the excited students. Neville was probably stuck by the Portrait Hole, unable to get through the mass of students.
Harry's thoughts were interrupted by Ron, who was staring at himself in the mirror, sighing loudly.
"I hate these dress robes," he said. "They don't go with my hair colour," he said. Harry nodded in sympathy. Light green did tend to clash horribly with orange. "Do we have to go to this ceremony thing?"
"Yes!" cried Dean. "I mean, what if you win something?!"
"Ha. What would I win anyway?" Ron asked.
"Most Likely to Sing Bon Jovi Just Because," Harry said at once. Ron tilted his head to the side sceptically. "Well Ron, you do anyway!" Ron nodded.
"I just wish my robes were a different colour," he moaned.
"At least they don't have lace on them," Harry said, grinning. Ron grimaced.
"You're right. Those were worse. Much worse."
"And you could… ah… change the colour of them, Ron," Harry said. Ron smacked a hand to his forehead.
"Of course! How could I forget?!" He took out his wand and changed his robes to navy blue. "There. That's better," he said. Harry nodded. Dean stared for a moment before getting out his own wand and fiddling with the colour of his robes too. Harry laughed and put on his own robes.
As he was fastening them, Seamus burst into the room.
"Hi guys!" he said enthusiastically. "You ready for the presentation ceremony?" They nodded. "Boy am I excited!" He changed quickly into his dress robes and then started running around the room trying to get the other boys as excited as he was. Harry grinned. Seamus was something else.
The door opened suddenly and Neville came in. His robes were all dishevelled and he looked tired.
"What happened Neville?" Harry asked.
"I… uh… got stuck in the common room," he said, dropping his chin to his chest.
"Did the first years mob you again?" Harry asked. Neville nodded.
"Well, screw them! It's party time! Let's get you ready!" shouted Seamus, grabbing Neville's hand and dragging him over to his trunk. Neville nodded and meekly began to get dressed. Seamus continued running around the room. Once Neville was dressed however he stopped and looked very serious.
"This is it guys," he said solemnly. "Are you ready?" Everyone nodded. "Right then… Let's go!" Seamus cried and ran out of the room. Harry and Ron shrugged and followed, Neville and Dean close behind them.
The Common Room was still crowded, so Harry took Neville's hand going through it. When they reached the other side, Neville thanked him.
"Eh, no problem," Harry said. Neville smiled. "Let's go rock this show!" Everyone grinned and hurried down to the Great Hall where the younger students were milling around as only the older students were allowed to get seats until all the older students were seated.
The Gryffindor boys took their seats, near the teachers' table and continued speculating who might win each category.
This continued until all the students were situated and Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers had processed in. Silence fell as all the teachers but Dumbledore sat down.
"Welcome!" cried Dumbledore, "To the first ever Hogwarts Superlative Competition!" The students clapped. "The votes have now all been tallied and we have our winners!" More clapping. Some cheering. "Now, different teachers will each read out and give the prize for different categories. The prizes will be awarded in the order that they were in on the list. Good. Now that that's out of the way… Let the presentations begin!" The hall erupted into cheers. Dumbledore smiled happily and sat down.
Professor McGonagall stood up. The hall quieted. She cleared her throat.
"Best Looking Male," she read from her piece of parchment, going slightly red. "Is Draco Malfoy." The Slytherin Table exploded into applause. Draco stood up, smirking. He'd known it would be him. I mean, no one could hold a flame to him. Apart from, perhaps, Harry. He looked over to the raven haired boy as he walked up to the staff table and Harry grinned at him. He took his award from McGonagall and sat down again. The hall fell silent.
Hagrid stood up next.
"Roight. Er… Best lookin' female is," he squinted down at his piece of parchment. "Ah! Ginny Weasley!" Harry clapped for her enthusiastically with the rest of the Gryffindor table. Ron clapped her on the back as she went up to receive her prize. She was blushing crimson.
"Atta girl Ginny! Mum'll be so proud!" Ron yelled. She sat down again. Professor Sinistra announced Hannah Abbott and Anthony Goldstein as cutest couple as expected and then came the highly anticipated Coolest Prefect.
The prefects held their breaths as Professor Snape stood up. He glared down at his piece of paper.
"Coolest prefect," he spat. "Goes to Seamus Finnegan." Seamus punched his arm in the air and whooped. The rest of the Gryffindors joined him in cheering as he ran up to collect his prize.
"See Shame," Harry said as Seamus sat back down. "I told you you'd win Coolest Prefect!"
"Did you?" Seamus asked. Harry laughed, but didn't get a chance to reply as Professor Sprout stood up.
"Best Fashion Sense goes to Lavender Brown!" she announced cheerfully. Lavender squealed and went to collect her prize. Harry thought vaguely that Draco should have won that one, but he guessed people usually thought of fashion sense as coming from a girl. Lavender sat down and Professor Flitwick squeakily announced Hermione as Smartest Person.
"No surprises there," Ron muttered to Harry. Harry grinned and continued to clap Hermione.
Most Studious went to a shocked Blaise Zabini who walked up stuttering that Hermione should have won that.
"Yeah," muttered Ron darkly. "Because he would know." Harry ignored him. Professor Vector handed Blaise the prize, beaming. Blaise was a student of his.
Best Dancer went to Neville who blushed crimson and began stuttering. Professor Dumbledore handed him his prize and whispered something to him. He smiled and sat down again.
"What did he say?" Seamus demanded.
"Er… he said he thought it was because of all of the practise I did with my coat," Neville said, blushing again. Seamus laughed.
It was Trelawney who gave out Most Artistic which went to Dean. All the Gryffindor boys gave him a look as if to say 'I told you so' as he went up to collect it. He just grinned at them.
Firenze the Centaur stood up as Dean returned to his seat.
"Most Likely To Be Picked For Major League Quidditch," he said. "Is Harry Potter!"
Hagrid beamed at Harry as Harry went to collect his prize. "Well done, 'Arry," he said as Harry reached the table.
"Thanks," Harry said, taking his prize from Firenze and then went to sit back down again. Ron clapped him on the back.
"Nice one, mate," he said. Harry smiled. He noticed rather uncomfortably that Ron was the only Gryffindor boy not to have won anything yet. Oh well, he was sure to win Most Likely to Sing Bon Jovi…
Hermione won Most Likely To Succeed next which was given by Professor Binns who then dropped his piece of parchment and floated out of the hall looking dazed. McGonagall gave Hermione her prize instead.
Hermione was followed by Neville who won Most Inspirational. The round faced boy looked shocked as his name was called out. Seamus had to prod him out of his seat to go pick up his prize which was given to him by Professor Sinistra.
Prof Hoff handed out Most Eager to Colin Creevey who ran up to the table to get it, much to the amusement of all.
Most Mischievous went to Seamus who winked at Professor McGonagall as she gave it to him. She gave him a stern glare and he skipped back to the Gryffindor table.
Hagrid gave Most Likely To Entertain to Michael Corner.
Harry looked quizzically at Ron.
"Why him?" he asked.
"Well, I guess because he plays guitar… Rumour has it he's going to start a band." Ron said. Harry nodded to show he understood.
Terry Boot was announced Most Likely to Be Minister For Magic by Snape who nodded cordially at him. Harry supposed Snape was happy it wasn't a Gryffindor.
Professor Sprout gave Ernie Macmillan Most Likely to Have a Mental Breakdown, assuring him that if he ever needed anything that he could go to her. He nodded and then hurried back to the Hufflepuff table.
Flitwick gave Zacharias Smith the award for Most Metrosexual, before Professor Vector announced Terry Boot as the gayest boy. Terry grinned and walked up to receive it, hips swinging.
Harry looked over and caught Draco's eye, winking at him. He thought back to one of their first conversations that summer. Draco had asked him about who he'd slept with, and well, Terry had been one of them and the same had held true with Draco. It was odd to think of that now that they were together.
He sighed and turned his mind back to the competition where Dumbledore was handing the award Funniest Drunk to Neville who had again blushed crimson.
Trelawney dreamily announced Ron as the Funniest Dancer and Ron laughed before going to collect the prize for it.
"I'm not that bad at dancing am I?" he asked, sitting back down.
"Sorry Ron," said Ginny. "But you kind of are…" Ron made a face before laughing again.
Michael Corner was called up again by Firenze, this time for Most Likely to Start a Band.
As he sat down there was some confusion up at the Teacher's Table as Binns had wandered off after his last announcement. In the end, Dumbledore read out the winner for Most Likely to Be Found Procrastinating. It turned out to be Ron who accepted it, grinning sheepishly.
Professor Sinistra stood up.
"It seems here that we have a tie," she said. "For Most Likely To Be A Model!" The hall rustled. "So would you both come up please? Draco Malfoy and Lavender Brown!" Ron burst out laughing.
"Ha ha!" he cried. "Malfoy." Harry hit him. "Your boyfriend's a male model!" Ron sniggered, unheeded by Harry's hitting him. So Harry kicked him instead.
"Keep it down," he muttered. "People aren't meant to know."
"Oh yeah," Ron said. "Sorry."
"It's okay." Harry needn't have worried anyway. The hall was noisy enough that no one heard them.
Draco and Lavender returned to their seats.
Prof Hoff stood up.
"Right. Well now. This was an interesting category. Most Likely to Be Famous. All of you voted Harry Potter, but guys, he's already famous, so your votes don't count, so we've had to use who Harry chose, which is… RON WEASLEY!" Ron sat rooted to his chair as people cheered.
"You… chose me?" he asked. Harry nodded. "Thanks."
"Anytime… Now go get your prize!" Harry cried. Ron nodded and walked, dazed, to the staff table. As soon as he had sat down, McGonagall stood up again.
"Most Likely to Be a Philosophical Genius is… Luna Lovegood!" she announced. The pale haired girl stood up and bobbed up to the front to collect her prize. As she returned to her seat, Hagrid stood up and announced Lisa Turpin, the Ravenclaw, as Most Likely to Discover New Things. Lisa positively glowed as she walked up to collect her prize.
Snape stood as she walked back to her seat. He stared down at his piece of parchment in disdain.
"Sexiest Boy," he said in a withering voice. "Is Draco Malfoy." He frowned then looked mildly impressed. It was one of his students after all. Draco swaggered up proudly to collect his prize, turning and winking at Harry as he reached the table. Harry knew that look. It meant: Ha. Aren't you lucky to have me? Harry rolled his eyes. Draco smirked and returned to his seat.
Professor Sprout stood up.
"Well then. Sexiest Girl is Pansy Parkinson!" she cried. The Slytherin table cheered. Someone began a chant of,
"Slytherin are the sexiest!"
Harry glanced over at Ron who was watching Pansy walk up. Harry waved a hand in front of Ron's face. Ron blinked.
"Sorry, what?" he asked. Harry laughed.
"Nothing." Ron frowned for a moment then went back to watching Pansy who was now returning to her seat. Harry sighed and turned his attention back to the staff table where Professor Flitwick stood up.
"Ahem, Most Likely to Own a Town," he peered at his parchment. "Is Draco Malfoy." Harry burst out laughing. Draco saw this as he stood up and glared at him. Harry ignored him and continued laughing.
Draco walked up to the teacher's table with as much pride as he could muster. Fancy Harry laughing at him! Humph. Well, whatever. He accepted his prize graciously from Flitwick and turned to walk back to his seat when Professor Vector stopped him.
"Mr Malfoy. You may as well stay here as you've won Most "Gangsta"." Vector said, frowning at the word gangsta.
At this Harry laughed even harder. Draco? Gangsta? Hadn't Lucius even told Draco he wasn't gangsta? He looked up to see Draco glaring at him. He quickly forced his face into a sorry expression, but he couldn't keep a small smile from his face. Draco rolled his eyes at Harry and stalked back to his seat.
Dumbledore stood up.
"Right," he said. "Most "Street" goes to Ben Harper!" The Slytherin stood up. Harry didn't laugh this time. Ben Harper actually was street. Ben collected his prize to the cheers of the Slytherins, and then returned to their table.
Trelawney stood up. She adjusted her glasses and peered at the parchment before her.
"Most Adorable Boy," she said. "Is Neville Longbottom." Neville smiled and Seamus prodded him to go and collect his prize. As soon as he was seated again, Firenze stood up.
"Most Adorable Girl," he announced. "Is Ginny Weasley." The girl blushed and graciously went to collect her prize. Ron glowed in pride. Dumbledore stood up before Ginny left the table and announced that she was also named Most Likely To End Up With Lots Of Kids at which she laughed and gratefully accepted the prize.
Sinistra stood up. Shaking back her hair, she read out the next category and winner.
"Most Likely To Become A Muggle Superstar is… Seamus Finnegan!" she said brightly. Seamus leapt up, a grin on his face. Prof Hoff winked at him as he approached the table and Seamus started singing Jump in My Car, much to the amusement of the students and the Hoff who stood up and joined in.
The Hoff stayed standing as Seamus returned to the table. It was his turn to read out a category.
"We have another tie!" he announced. "For Person You Would Most Like to Put in a Box and Keep as a Pet! Would Mr Blaise Zabini and Mr Seamus Finnegan both come up please?"
Seamus burst out laughing, but stood up. Blaise sat in disbelief until someone prodded him and he went up to the front.
"Why me?" he stuttered.
"Well, you're the cutest Head Boy we've had in a while," Seamus said, winking roguishly. "Maybe that's it!" Blaise frowned at him. Seamus shrugged. Blaise shrugged too and they both accepted their prizes before hurrying back to their seats.
McGonagall stood and cleared her throat.
"Ah, Person You Would Most Like to Hug goes to Vincent Crabbe," she said. Crabbe didn't move.
"Vince?" Draco asked, poking him. The poor boy was in shock. To be honest, Draco was rather shocked, but then again, Vince was actually quite a softie and a bunch of people knew it. It just seemed that more people knew than they had originally thought! Draco poked him again. Vince shook his head and slowly walked up to the staff table. Everyone cheered. Draco grinned.
When Vince got back to the table he was engulfed with people trying to hug him. Draco laughed and looked up at the staff table. Dumbledore had that twinkle in his eye again.
Then Hagrid stood up.
"Um," he said loudly, trying to get their attention. "Er… hello?" He shuffled his feet. "OI YOU LOT!" he finally shouted. The students settled. "Thanks. Er… So. Most Likely to Die in a Highly Exciting Way is… er… Gregory Goyle." There were hisses around the hall as Goyle went to receive his prize. He kept his head down. He knew why he had been voted this.
The hisses stopped when Snape stood up and announced Wayne Hopkins as the person Most Likely to End Up Working in the Ministry at a Boring Desk Job.
Harry thought he knew who the next person would be. If he remembered correctly, it was Most Likely to Bring Sexy Back, and that would blatantly be Draco.
Harry was right. Professor Sprout confirmed his thoughts and Draco hurried up, sexily of course, to get his award.
Harry was pretty certain of the next category too. Most Likely to Sing Bon Jovi Just Because… That was Ron. In fact, he was humming Livin' on a Prayer under his breath right now.
Thus Harry was unsurprised when Flitwick called Ron up to receive the prize. Ron pretended to look surprised, but no one was fooled, so he broke in to Livin' on a Prayer, out loud this time. Everyone laughed.
They were now near the end of the presentations and the students knew it. Some were starting to get restless, excited about the "surprise" that was coming after the presentation. They wanted to know why they'd been told to wear dress robes!
Silence fell again as Professor Vector stood up.
"Right. So. Most Likely to Be the Next David Attenborough is Colin Creevey!" he announced. Colin grinned widely and then ran up to the table. He was impatient for the surprise too.
Finally Dumbledore stood up.
"Our last category," he said. There was a rustle from the assembled students. "Is Most Likely to Accidentally Hassel the Hoff and the winner of that category is Neville Longbottom!" The Gryffindors cheered and Neville went bright red. As he went up to collect his prize, the Hoff winked at him. He tripped over his feet and stumbled.
"Aw, don't worry about it Neville. You can hassle me as much as you like," Prof Hoff laughed. Neville smiled then returned to his seat.
Dumbledore remained standing. The students stared at him in anticipation. He looked around at all of them with that familiar twinkle in his eye.
"Well then. It's time to announce what the surprise is!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "I know you've all been waiting patiently to find out what it is. I mean, why would we want you to dress in Dress Robes? Well, you see, us teachers have prepared a very special… let's call it a thing… for you. Now, we'll tell you where to go, then lock you in the Great Hall for ten minutes while we get there before you to make sure things are ready." The hall broke out in mutters.
"Lock us in?"
"Special thing! Wow!
Dumbledore cleared his throat. The hall quieted.
"Thank you, now as I was saying. You are all to go to the previously forbidden Third Floor Corridor. The Seventh Years should know where that is. Follow them. Now Teachers! Follow me!"
The teachers all stood and left the hall. As soon as the last one was out, the doors slammed shut and pandemonium broke out.
Boy that was long. Oh, and sorry to leave you on a cliff hanger, but it was already so long, and I really felt I had to update as it's been ages. (I am so so sorry) But yes. The next chapter will be exciting! hehe...
Also thank you to all my wonderful and amazing reviewers. You know who you are! Especially the ones who filled out the superlative sheet thing! That helped me so much. You have NO idea. Yes. Well. I think that's all for the moment. I have to go to sleep. First day of school tomorrow. Don't wanna be tired, so even though it's only 10:30, I'm out!
Hope you liked the chapter!
...Riyan...
