Spock felt edgy when he got home, and as soon as it was morning on New Vulcan, he called T'Annis. When she picked up the Comm., they made polite conversation as usual. It was a few minutes before she asked him how his day had been.
Spock paused for a minute, and then gave a very accurate description of the day's events. He was about halfway through when he realized that talking to T'Annis wasn't the same without the link. He hadn't noticed it at the time, but now their conversations over the Comm. seemed stilted. T'Annis had a way of prying out details that he was glossing over in his mind, making him realize things that he hadn't even known he'd been thinking.
"That is unfortunate; I hope that Nadine learns to respect her mother," T'Annis said softly after Spock was finished talking, confirming his suspicions that he hadn't quite got across what he was feeling.
They continued talking, but their conversation lacked the depth of the ones they'd had over the link. As usual, T'Annis mentioned being concerned about a lot of things—Sunak's flat feet, her hairpiece being out of style, the lease expiring on her office, but he couldn't gauge what she was actually worried about and what was just conversation.
"This is not the same as talking over the link," Spock commented finally, wondering if T'Annis felt the same way.
"Yes," she replied, and once again Spock had to guess the shade of her meaning.
Still, he talked to her almost every day, and after a few weeks, she started asking him when he was going to visit again. It was almost a type of teasing, her randomly inserting the question into their conversations to try and catch him off-guard.
"You are never going to stop asking that are you?" Spock teased back one night.
"There is an easy way to get me to stop," she threw back, raising one eyebrow flirtatiously, "Pick a date."
Spock paused. He wasn't sure if he wanted to visit her again at all. Or well, he was sure he wanted to, but it was one thing to go with the best of intentions, and another to go knowing he couldn't control himself. But was that what he was really planning? To never see Sunak again?
"October 24," Spock answered, picking randomly. T'Annis blinked as she calculated what that was in the Vulcan calendar. It was a few months out.
"See," she replied, still in a teasing mood, "That was not very difficult."
Slowly, those months passed. Nadine got over her anger, and started explaining who she was to Nyota again. A new planet applied to join the Federation, and for a few weeks, Spock was working constantly. Nyota mostly stayed the same, except for a bout of pneumonia, which she recovered from. Spock had to admit that having something to look forward to made the time go quicker.
When October rolled around, Spock booked a transport, and went out and bought new robes, having realized that his current set made him look like an aristocrat from another generation. A few days before his trip, he started packing. By the time the 24th rolled around, he had just one item to pick up: carrot cake, which he thought that Sunak would find thrilling.
This time, T'Annis was expecting Spock, so as soon as he was close to the planet, he could feel her excitement. She opened the door before he had even knocked on it.
He walked in, and she looked at him briefly before putting one hand against his cheek. She was so pleased to see him it was like she was glowing. Spock stepped forward and embraced her.
After a minute or so, Sunak scuttled into the room, and then ran back out, which didn't surprise Spock. Nadine had once done something similar when she had walked in on Nyota and Spock kissing. But then he came back with one of his toy starships and started poking Spock with it, and Spock knew he remembered who he was.
Letting T'Annis go, Spock took the toy and picked Sunak up. As he did, he felt a burst of discontent from T'Annis. Sunak hadn't been letting her hold him lately. He was going through a rebellious stage.
Spock looked down at Sunak, and thought that he looked so sweet that he couldn't possibly be rebellious.
"You wait," joked T'Annis.
Sunak started wiggling and waving his starship,
"Want play!" he yelled.
Spock looked at him, surprised and almost smiled. T'Annis had never told him that Sunak had started talking.
"When he feels like it," she answered darkly.
"How about we all go play," Spock suggest out loud, sensing that T'Annis wanted to be included. But she answered that she would just watch. She needed to rest. She was very tired.
This worried Spock, he hadn't realized that Sunak was running her so ragged. T'Annis sighed. She just didn't know what to do with him sometimes. He had changed almost overnight, refusing to do the simplest things, just to be stubborn. And he didn't want to play with her anymore, and had learned how to block over the link. After a bit of hesitation, she added,
"He has started to realize that he is different."
By different, she meant part human.
Spock followed Sunak to his room, and T'Annis sat on the bed and watched. Sunak had quite a complicated game he wanted to play, where Spock controlled the Romulan ships and he controlled the Federation ones. This meant he had to win, he explained, because,
"The Federation always wins everything."
Spock could tell that T'Annis also found this amusing.
Spock played with Sunak until dinner, and then it was time to put him to bed, which was a forty-five minute ordeal that ended in Sunak falling asleep mid-protest.
Spock could feel T'Annis's frustration, but she still tucked him under the blanket tenderly and tousled his hair before turning the lights out.
"Twenty-eight hours until we have to do that again," she joked.
Spock and T'Annis sat down, and in a few minutes they were talking rapidly over the link. There was so much to catch up on, the nuances of what they had discussed over the Comm. But Spock also started to worry about T'Annis. She was so tired that the link seemed frayed. But T'Annis denied that there was anything wrong and Spock stopped pursuing it.
Eventually, the link deepened into a meld, and they started touching. It was a slow ritual, uncovering each other's bodies bit by bit, covering each part with their scents before moving on. But T'Annis's body was too soft, and within the meld, there was something that almost tingled.
"T'Annis," Spock asked once they were done, "Are you pregnant?"
The question seemed to hang in the air.
She didn't answer. Instead, she took his hands and pressed them to her temples. And then a memory appeared.
T'Annis was squatting in the bathroom, in front of the toilet, sick. Sarek was in the living room, watching Sunak. As she leaned back, she heard Sarek come up behind her and pull her up by her shoulders.
"You slut!" he yelled, pushing her against the wall. Somewhere in the distance, there was a thump and Sunak gave off a playful yelp, and Sarek added,
"You are not fit to raise him."
A burst of terror rose in T'Annis before she convinced herself that Sarek was quite old, and she could probably grab Sunak and run faster than he could.
"Who," Sarek spat, breaking her thought, "Who dare you—"
"Your son!" she protested quickly.
Sarek stood back and eyed her disbelievingly, and then moved forward and put one hand against her temples. T'Annis felt him shuffle though her memories. Slowly, Spock's week on New Vulcan unfolded.
"See!" T'Annis said, but to Sarek it didn't change anything. He still thought his son was weak and T'Annis was a harlot. She lowered her head, ashamed, but then somewhere she found courage.
"I have done nothing but what you asked of me!" she spat, "I have done nothing but be loyal to your son!"
Sarek stood silently, staring at her, before speaking,
"I told you that it would be best for you to have no contact with him."
T'Annis let a burst of rage ricochet through Sarek's mind. She didn't think it was for the best. Couldn't he tell that Spock was hurting?
Sarek didn't speak, and T'Annis could tell that he was already ashamed of his outburst. But he was also resolute.
"He is married," he said finally, "That has to come first."
And she could see that in his mind that he meant it. There were so many things he had wished he had done for Amanda. The regret hadn't quite worn off over all the years. He didn't want his son to have those sorts of regrets.
"I can only do what I think is best," T'Annis answered, which wasn't an agreement, but wasn't something he could argue with. She was resolute as well.
And she could tell he felt even worse now. He wondered if he'd put her up to something she couldn't handle.
"You should have told me," he said quietly. He didn't like the thought of her going to her appointments alone. She probably needed help around the house.
The scene faded and Spock was once again looking at T'Annis. Over the link, it felt like she was going to cry.
"I am sorry," she whispered, "I did not mean for it to happen."
Of course, it was illegal, she started to ramble over the link, but she knew that if you asked a human doctor about a rabbit, they would give you something. Or was it something about a cactus? She wasn't sure, but she would have asked had she known that he was coming.
Spock put his arms around her to try and calm her down. And as he stroked her hair, he wanted to whisper to her. He wanted to make promises. They'd seemed so wrong, those memories of her having Sunak all alone. He wanted to say that he'd be there. But he couldn't. Not with Nyota, who it would be so hard to leave. And even if he did leave her, he and T'Annis were so different. He wondered if in the long run, they could ever really make things work.
T'Annis heard this thought, and Spock could tell that she found it confusing. It was such a human concept. Of course they could make things work.
A/N: The end is nigh! Two (or possibly three) chapters left!
