I am blind, walking into a wall made of pure bright light and sound. They scream and whistle as we cross the raised stage, but all I can make out is the platform ahead of me and Cadman beside me, squinting into the same brilliant lights.
We file past the raised stage where our interviewer sits, Caeser Flickerman. Painted in a shimmering silver, he smiles and waves out to the crowd like an ancient god greeting his followers. Their whistles and roars rebounding off the tall buildings surrounding us.
"Welcome," he calls out as he rises to his feet, palms outstretched. A hush falls over the Capitol audience as they sit on the edges of their seats."Welcome once again, to the Interview portion of… the Hunger Games!"
They go wild and he takes his seat once more. The crowd seems so much bigger than it did on television and so much more animated. How Caeser can manipulate them so well is beyond me.
He gestures and again they settle down, holding onto every word he says.
"Shall we meet them then?" he asks in a conspiring tone.
Again they cheer.
"Well then lets!" The Capitol man launches himself out of his chair to greet his first guest, the girl from district one who flicker her hair over her shoulder and grants the audience a half smile.
They go on, each working some angle. Nora, in her tight purple dress, is bold, talking about her friends and their adventures together. She tells a story about making a rope to swing between the trees that line her district and they eat it up, gasping collectedly as she recounts the time a knot began unravelling while she was suspended by it.
Iddy as them rolling in the isles as he jokes with the interviewer, giving his commentary on some of the other tributes and mentors for this year's games. He goes on about how every girl in Panem's got to be in love with Finnick Odair, the recent victor out of four and sighs comically, staring right into the box where the mentors oversee the interviews.
"Though of course, the ladies will be swooning over you if you win," quips Ceaser.
"Who's to say they aren't already," Iddy replies cocking an eyebrow and winking at some Capitol woman in the first row. The cameras zoom in on her as she faints and the crowd goes wild over his antics.
As the numbers count up to me I can feel the knot of dread building in my stomach once more. Searching desperately to calm myself down, I try to channel Zanella. Under these lights she'd shine, not wither like I'm afraid I might do. She'd gush and giggle and smile in all the right places, making these people love her the same way we all do back home.
Lost in my memory of my friend, I nearly miss the buzzer that sounds, signaling time's up for the boy from seven. Suddenly the lights are back to blinding me and I gulp, mind blank as I make my way up to Ceaser Flickerman.
"And here, all the way from District Eight we have the lovely Angora Day!"
They clap and cheer but it's all incomprehensible to me. Squinting out into the crowd I can see a few signs with my face and district number on them bobbing along in the sea of people. I sit opposite the Capitol man on the stage. Everything about him seems so artificial, from the tips of his stark silver hair to the glittering rings on his long fingers.
The crowd settles down and my interview begins.
"Angora. Angora. Angora. Wonderful name for a wonderful girl. You know there's quite a buzz about you this year."
"Oh?" I answer, confused. Why would there be a buzz about me? District eight is never a really talked about district. All of the attention usually goes to the careers.
Caesar laughs. "Oh, she says. Oh! Yes darling there is! The mysteriously beautiful tribute from district eight who's gotten herself a train score of nine." He leans in, resting his pale chin on his hands as he smiles lazily like a cat in a sunbeam. "You have to understand you've piqued our interest. Tell me, how did you do it?"
I try not to let my fear of that question translate onto my face. I don't even know why my score was so high! Deciding to play with the mystery Caesar claims I have, I smile slightly and say, "Well you'll just have to wait and see what happens in the arena won't you?"
Again he laughs and launches into a new topic. "Okay then, how about you tell us about why you should win these games."
"Because I want to go home. I miss my family and my friends." I stare straight into the camera in front of me trying to send my message with my eyes as much as my mouth as I say, "You hear that guys? Mom? Dad? Gauge? I'll be home soon so keep the kettle on."
The audience laughs and Caesar gives them a moment before picking right back up again. "Wow that's heart warming isn't it folks? Well Angora we hope to see you heading back to them in a little while. Tell us about home. I'll bet the boys of district eight must be beating down your door."
How can I answer that? I laugh as my mind searches frantically to find the right response. Boys? The only two that come to mind are Cadman and Kilim but I can't say that. One I have no business thinking of as anything but an ally and the other I'll probably never see again. "Not so much" I reply honestly.
"No?" Caesar gasps. "I find that very hard to believe. Look at you! Look at her folks I mean I would kill for your hair." The capitol man reaches out one thin, pale hand and gives a tug to one of my ringlets. "They bounce! Honestly, they actually bounce!" I keep my smile pasted on my face as he fluffs my hair but internally I cringe. He's like an alien life form and I want to smack his clammy hands away from my neck. He goes on exclaiming about my face. "And those eyes! Tell me where I can get contacts like you have! "
"Contacts?" I ask. "Like addresses?"
Caesar laughs. "Like addresses! Isn't she just so precious? No they're pieces of plastic you put in your eyes to change their color."
I smile and nod but have no idea what he's talking about. Do these people actually put pieces of plastic into their eyes on purpose?
My interviewer allows me to sit again and I do. He has adopted a more serious air now.
" So, Angora…the games tomorrow. Are you nervous?"
"Terrified." Something inside my head sparks, " But you know what?" I say lean in, aiming for the most dramatic effect.
"What?" he plays along. I can feel the citizens of Panem sitting on the edge of their seats.
I stretch my smile wide and take a pause, looking out over the audience. This moment could be so crucial and I have to play it just right. Inside my head I can hear Zanella's voice coaching me, whispering for me to make them love me. I can almost hear her as I speak in a hushed tone that is heard all across Panem. "It makes me feel all the better to know you'll all be watching and cheering me on. All of you."
I mean the words I say, but not in the way these people think I do. I mean it for the ones I love back home and for the ones I have met hear. I mean it for my parents, for my brother, for my friends, for my mentors and my allies. I mean it for the people who will watch not for the spectical but because they love me. Though the crowd before me claps and whips themselves into a frenzy at my words, as I leave the stage I feel as though I am back in the calm, cool evening of district eight. I feel as if I sent a part of me home with the broadcast and if that's the only thing that comes out of all this then that's okay. They have heard me back home and I have given them everything I can.
Now if only I can preserve that will, I'll have a chance in the arena.
Hey folks, sorry about the horrendous wait. Updates will reseume semi-normally now though so keep reading and let me know what you think!
