29th chapter (one-shot) up! Last semester was a mad rush and next semester promises an even crazier schedule ahead, but there's only one left to go and the finish line is (finally) in sight! Seriously, if you've been keeping up with this, thank you for being so patient with me; I know I'm a horrible updater. Hopefully you guys will like this latest installment - my writing thumbs have gotten rusty from disuse and no, writing assignment papers do not count towards 'writing' as far as I'm concerned.

Comments and critique are always welcomed, as per usual. Don't worry, I don't bite (and rarely bark) and would really appreciate any feedback you guys can offer. ;D

Well, that's enough rambling on my part - read on!

That Which is Mine

26. if only I could make you mine

Matsumoto had once told her, 'You'll never truly know what you really want until you lose it. So if, by chance, you find out what it is, grab hold of it and never let go.'

Granted, the other Vice-Captain had been somewhat inebriated when she had uttered that phrase, almost immediately dissolving into giggles afterwards, followed by a burp which would have her captain shaking his head in disapproval. The raucous cheers and the clinking of beer mugs coming from the direction of the bar hadn't lent the words any sense of gravity either. Still, Hinamori had nodded as she helped prop Matsumoto up and discreetly pulled the well-endowed shinigami's robes straight to prevent unnecessary exposure to leering eyes, half distracted by thoughts of how to get the two of them back to their respective quarters.

It wasn't until much later that she had time to properly contemplate the piece of advice, turning the phrases over and over in her head as she tried to puzzle them out. It had certainly seemed fairly random at that point in time, even strange; after all, she did have a fairly clear understanding of what she wanted, even needed in her head. As the new Vice-Captain of the Fifth Division, she needed confidence and support, both of which Aizen had promised her upon her election and had delivered since her first nervous day in office. And there had always been Shirou-chan, always ready to give her an earful of grumpy advice whenever he thought she needed it. She was grateful to both of them, especially to her captain – strong, dependable with an ever-present ear when she needed to confide in him any doubts she had over her capabilities. Initially, she had wondered if Matsumoto had been referring to him when she had said those words. Either way, she made up her mind to be extra-appreciative towards Aizen, vowing to be a better Vice-Captain to not let him and his trust in her down.

Now, she wonders if she had gotten it all wrong after all as she peeps into a room, watching as its occupant tell Abarai something in a tone too low for her to discern. Abarai snorts, likely making some kind of smart remark as the bedded figure chuckles, loosening in her a weight that she hadn't been aware of carrying before. The sight of him still causes her heart to ache - framed against downy pillows and dressed in the Fourth Division's standard patient's robes, he looks smaller, ragged around the edges despite the neat bandages winding across the expanse of his chest and arms.

Abarai notices her first, waving carelessly at her to come in. "Yo, Hinamori! What'cha doing standing outside there and all? "

"I, um, didn't want to interrupt anything important," she ventures, stepping cautiously into the room, all too aware of the blue eyes following her, the faint smile from Abarai's earlier remark lingering around the corner of his lips.

Abarai rolls his eyes. "Nah, nothing big. Just filling him in on stuff Matsumoto's been up to in her own room; she's going to give the poor dude taking care of her a headache before long, I tell ya. Speaking of which, I think I'll go drop in on her – make sure she's not terrorizing another of those Fourth Division guys and all. See ya, Hitsugaya."

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou to you," Hitsugaya mutters sourly, crossing his arms the best he could. "It's been awhile, Hinamori."

"I guess." She takes Abarai's seat, awkwardness already a blanket around her shoulders as she twists her fingers together, willing them to provide her with something, anything to talk about. "So, um, I heard you were getting better. That's…that's good."

"Yeah. Unohana says I'll be able to leave in a few more days." Hitsugaya settles back against the pillows. "About time too – my division's probably unorganized and disorderly, what with both the captain and vice-captain absent." His eyes flicker over her face, probing. "Has everything finally been settled? Abarai said things are looking up, but he wasn't very succinct."

Hinamori nods vehemently. "Ichigo-kun and the others left several days ago, and I think Yamamoto-taichou will be making a public announcement to the whole of Soul Society regarding the new rules and reinforcements soon."

"Good. I'd rather not have to deal with messes like that again."

"I'm just glad everything's finally over, Shi-Hitsugaya-taichou." The words trip over themselves, sticking together in her throat as she bites on her lower lip and shifts in her seat. When she composes herself enough to dare a glance in his direction, Hitsugaya is looking at her strangely, brow slightly furrowed.

"Come again?"

"W-well, you've always. You see – I – You keep correcting me anyway, so I thought I should get it right for once, right?" She manages a small smile then, but he is shaking his head, laboriously pushing himself back upright to stare at her.

"You're the Fifth's Captain now, aren't you?" At her nod, he continues, "You certainly don't need to address me as 'taichou' anymore." He grins at her, eyes crinkling slightly. "Figures you'd still get it wrong though. Congratulations on the promotion, by the way. I thought it had been due, 'Bedwetter Momo'."

It is the old nickname, said in that familiar deliberate way of his that breaks down that last tenuous wall holding her back. Hitsugaya's eyes widen as she suddenly throws her arms around him clinging to him as she sobbed incoherent apologies into the crook of his shoulder.

"I'm so, so sorry – all my fault – Matsumoto said – fool – never expected- whole mess is my -"

"Wait, wait." Arms encircle her and for a few snatched moments, she rests within their reassuring strength before they are gently pulling her away and upright into a sitting position as confused eyes meet hers. "What the heck are you going on about?"

"S'all my fault," she hiccups, swiping at her eyes roughly with the corner of her sleeves. "All my fault that you, all of you got injured because I was stupid enough to trust Aizen –tai- and even helped him and oh, I even got Matsumoto's advice all wrong, how stupid am I-"

Hitsugaya's grip on her arms is firm as he shakes her. "Hinamori. Hinamori. Momo. It's not your fault, okay? Everyone was fooled, not just you. And with or without you, I'm pretty sure that bastard would've found a way to reach the Arrancar anyway, so stop trying to claim all the credit for that. Honestly," his voice all wry, "what did I tell you about being level-headed and rational? Think, Momo. If not for your actions, I might not have a Vice-Captain at this present moment. Granted, she's still in critical condition, but I've been informed that she'll live to thank you in person as well."

She doesn't resist as he pulls her into a loose embrace, sighing against the cusp of her ear. "So thank you, Momo. Thank you. Thank you."

"I don't see what you have to thank me for," she mumbles against his chest, closing her eyes as she listens to the steady, reassuring rhythm beating there.

"Actually, I see plenty of things to thank you for. Coming back to us, for one. Standing up against Aizen, two. Saving Matsumoto, taking up the reins of Captain over at your division – would you like a list? I'm sure Matsumoto will be more than happy to deliver it to your division in person once everything's back to normal."

"Mmmm." Her fingers lift unconsciously, circling, pressing lightly the soothing rhythm that speaks of being alive, and at last, the nightmares of that final battle, of him lying battered and unmoving, lifeless and bloody on the hard ground dissolve into the trickle of fear ebbing away. On her shoulder, Hitsugaya groans; hurriedly, she pulls her fingers back. "Sorry, did that hurt? I shouldn't be-"

"No, not much; it's mostly stiffness from lack of movement. Which reminds me, you were saying something about Matsumoto and 'advice'?"

The peace slowly lulling Hinamori to sleep promptly vanishes as her head snaps up, almost knocking against Hitsugaya's as she gasps at the sudden memory. "Oh, d-did I say 'advice'? I must have – have mixed it up with something else-"

"Hinamori." Hitsugaya's voice brooks no argument as he looks at her sternly, arms more a prison than a comfort now. "What exactly did my Vice Captain tell you that you apparently got 'all wrong'?

"N-nothing important really. I-It was light talk mostly. Between girls, you know." She is rambling and knows it, face suffused with the tell-tale signs of pink as she avoids Hitsugaya's probing gaze.

"Well, important or not, I would be obliged if you were to enlighten me as to what this advice was about, hmm?"

It finally comes out in halting sentences, bits and pieces of words jumbled together as she tries to stem her embarrassment from spreading – she will not, will not blush, especially not in front of him – as Hitsugaya listens quietly, eyes thoughtful.

"So you're saying Matsumoto basically told you to be more appreciative of the people close to you?"

"Well, kind of. That's how I thought of it. But-"

"But?"

She could only shake her head mutely, traitorous cheeks aglow. Confidence and support seem so small now, almost trivial in the face of the new feeling nurtured close to her heart now, warm and gentle after the last traces of fear had left. But it is too new, too uncertain for her to translate into words to put across, especially with its reception remaining a mystery.

"Well, I think you may have misinterpreted the words." It is Hitsugaya's turn to shake his head as he muses. "The way I see it, it sounds like she advised you to treasure something important to you. To take something and make it wholly yours. " He arches his eyebrow at her. "I don't suppose she's referring to your innate desire to be Captain?"

"What? No!"

"Then? I'm pretty sure Matsumoto had something – or someone- in mind when she said it – I find that she can be peculiarly wise when she's drunk." He pauses, reluctance straining his voice slightly. "Unless she was referring to that…traitor?"

Months ago, she might have nodded, voiced her agreement at his conclusion without any doubts. But, as she closes her eyes, it is her mouth that finally offers up the answer haltingly. "..'S you, Shirou-chan. You."

She feels, rather than hears Hitsugaya draw his breath in, feels as fingers wrap around her shoulders, pushing her up into a sitting position again as Hitsugaya searches her eyes, probing the truth written within her hazel irises. Then he smiles, chuckles and she must have smiled along too because those fingers are brushing lightly over her lips, rough with calluses, so, so gentle. And as the fingers are replaced with soft, warm lips, she hears him murmur,

"Silly Momo. Haven't I always been yours?"