blueandie: That's how you were supposed to feel lmao. She craves that heal. Now that she has nothing to hide, she kind of just lets it happen. Really, she doesn't mind not being in pain lol. It's too wintery fresh? That's just Azula being Azula, she doesn't want to be seen as weak. Thanks. :) She has a few regrets that are coming to the surface.

And thanks again. It was kind of a pain in the rear to decide how I waned to go about revealing what had happened to her. Sokka is just one of those people where the harder he tries the worse he seems to make things for himself. He truly meant the best, but he knew that he messed up big time. Yeah, I felt like Azula was kind of a ticking timebomb for a good rage. She needed to let it out. This fic needed some more Sokka angst and I've been promising it. So like, I had to do it to 'em. Yes, he's definitely in a hard position. He was thinking in the long run so much that he ruined the short run!

I feel like sleeping is hard for a lot of people lol. It doesn't help that I'm constantly watching horror movies and horror narrators on youtube.

FireAndIce123: He might. xP


Two weeks had gone by and she hadn't talked to him. Usually she would at least offer him a snide remark or two. At most her grudges usually lasted for a day or two. This time she held it. He started to think, then, that the princess only forgave him so easily in the past because she had no one else to rely on. Now that she had four other people willing to engage with her, she didn't need to forgive him. He was reeling all over again. Especially since in those two weeks and things were tense with the gang too. He had already been in a rocky place with Zuko. After his sister had lifted her shirt to display a trail of purple bruises over puffy, swollen ribs, it was over. To the surprise of Sokka and Azula both, Zuko refused to speak with him at all after that. Sokka was beginning to feel like an outsider, like the princess was taking his place. Katara was the only one who conversed with him like normal, but he found that he was no longer in the mood for conversation. After the first week of being side-lined and resented, he locked himself in his room. He hadn't gotten far into his second painting at all but on a sort of overwhelming impulse, he slashed it up, she was no longer making him happy. He was willing to say that this time his misery was all her fault. He had done so much for her and she had taken everything from him. His friends, his support…those where the only valuable things. Yet he kept losing them in some way or another.

He looked at the tatters of canvas on the floor.

She was one of those friends.

Deep down he knew that his rage was rooted in hurt. Deep down he was certain that Azula's grudge had the same core.

Fresh out of fury to fuel him, Sokka threw himself onto his bed tossed his boomerang over and over and over again until the sound of knocking pulled him out of the pattern. It was probably Katara, come to deliver his meal. He didn't have much of an appetite for it—a telltale sign that he wasn't doing too well. He threw the door open—with a needless force—to find himself half right. "Here." Azula thrust the food at him. He made no move to take it. "I didn't have to bring this to you."

"Then why did you? You could have left it to Katara."

"Maybe Katara's getting tired of hearing you complain." Azula shrugged. "Things are dull without you. Zu-Zu's well enough but he's overprotective. Katara does a lot of coddling too. And they feed off of each other…"

"So?" He asked.

"You." She started. "You know what to do. They don't. I like you the most."

"That explains why you've been ignoring me."

"Well you're completely infuriating and I hate you the most." She set the platter aside and crossed her arms.

"You only talk to me because you need me." Sokka replied.

"That's not true, I don't need you, I have other people now." Azula shrugged. "But I want to talk to you."

Sokka could feel himself growing annoyed. She had been slighting him for two weeks and suddenly he's her favorite. She wanted something and he wasn't going to involve himself this time. He was ready to take her by the arm, give her a swift shove, and slam the door in her smug face. "Did you ever consider that I don't want to talk to you."

"I did." She replied, twirling her bangs around her finger. "And I decided that you did because you're lonely."

He walked closer and she took a few steps back to accommodate. "You decided wrong." With those steps she was no longer in his room and he was pushing the door shut. But she wedged her hand between the door and the frame, holding it open with the strength he forgot she had.

"No, you decided wrong." She forced the door open and squeezed inside, "you're going to let me stay."

"This is my room!" He hollered.

Undaunted she replied, "yes, and it's in my palace." She gracefully seated herself upon his bed and inspected her nails. She must have just had them done, they were filed nicely, clipped to the same length, and painted with a shimmery gold. She tapped one of those nails on his chin, "you need to shave."

"You need to get out of here and mind your own business!" He demanded.

She gave a humored sniff, "I'm not the only person in this room who has a problem with that." She stretched her arms and elongated herself on the mattress.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" He asked.

Azula shook her head. "Not until eight…" she was going to say more but he didn't want to hear it.

"Well then maybe you should get ready for that."

"I'm trying." She replied.

"In my room?"

"It's a festival and you're coming with me." She said it as if it were decided.

"Take Toph or something."

She sat up and tilted her head as if she couldn't fathom his rejection. Truth be told he wanted to say yes, but he wanted…what did he want? An apology? To hear her beg for it? No, he just wanted to be angry. He wanted to show her the cold-shoulder that she showed him. She wrinkled her nose, "I want to take you."

"Well I don't want to go with, especially not with you."

He could see it in her eyes that she didn't believe it. Not at first, not until she looked at the floor. The gold-orange dipped shreds that he hadn't cleaned. He let her stare for a moment, watching a series of indistinguishable emotions flicker across her face. Without another word she left, slamming the door for him.

He slapped the heel of his palms against his hairline and fell back onto the bed. Why had he done that? He could have taken her to the festival and it would have been over then. Instead he kicked the dragon again and she had just curled her talons and stormed out.

.oOo.

Azula couldn't place it at first what churned beneath the resentment.

Rejection.

It wasn't something she took well.

She particularly wasn't attuned to it coming from Sokka. Sokka who had always put up with her no matter how difficult she was being. And the torn up portrait on the floor didn't do anything to soften the blow or help her self-esteem, something she was still working to piece together.

"How'd it go?" Aang smiled hopefully. "Is he coming with us?"

"Did you tell him that we're not mad?" Katara asked.

"I didn't get that far." Azula replied as Zuko muttered, "speak for yourself."

"Why are you mad, Zu-Zu?"

"Look what he did to you." He grumbled.

"How about you get mad about your own problems instead of mine? For instance, Councilman Yano has been calling you 'the Wussy Lord' for the past three weeks."

"I'm dealing with him!" Zuko snapped. Clearly he was in a mood. It would seem like the last two weeks had been difficult for all of them. At least she could say that she had some high points, the morning beneath the red dragon maple stood out. It stood out and brought a fresh pang in her heart.

"I didn't get to tell him that you've been all bothered because of the council. He thinks it's his fault."

"It is! Partially." Zuko grumbled.

Azula couldn't disagree, but she also had to admit that the other part had been her.

"Well, maybe the festival will cheer him up." Aang grinned.

"Speaking of…"

.oOo.

She wasn't used to having her hand held. In fact, Toph couldn't remember a time when she allowed someone to hold it. But there under the festival lanterns she found her hand locked with Azula's. She didn't realize that the princess had such a sense of humor. "This festival won't have fireworks, will it, Sparky?"

Azula deliberately ignored the 'pet name'. "All Fire Nation festivals have fireworks."

"Oh great." Toph grumbled. "Looks like you're going to have to cuddle me and protect me from the scary noises."

"Just take a lantern and get over it." Azula shoved a lantern on a stick into her hand.

"I'm sure I'd enjoy this festival a lot more if I could see it. Aren't there any games."

"Well, this is a lantern viewing festival…"

Toph threw her hands up, "why do you dullards even invite me to these things!?"

Azula chuckled, "to hear your charming commentary of course."

"I'm expecting a very detailed description of every lantern that floats up." Toph insisted.

"I'll do my best, love." Azula stroked Toph's cheek.

Once again, the earthbender had to admit that the princess was good. If she didn't know any better she'd almost say that Azula really was her lover. Much to Toph's amusement, no one else seemed to know any better. The description of their faces that Azula gave would be better than any silly lantern imagery.

"I smell cinnamon and hot icing." Toph noted, she could go for a cinnamon roll or two. "Get me one?"

Azula shrugged, "I might as well."

"Sweet."

By the time they left the stall Toph had a whole bag of cinnamon rolls, a box of mochi, and a fortune cookie to occupy her hands alongside the lantern. Agreeing to be the princess' date was the best idea she'd ever had. She chomped on her cinnamon roll and, with her feet, scoped the area for something else to entertain herself with. A little way down the street she could hear excited whoops and frustrated curses. Her feet told her that it was some kind of festival game. "You're good at things." Toph looked at Azula.

"Most things, yes." Azula agreed. "What's your point?"

"Are you good at that?" She pointed at the stall.

"Probably." Azula shrugged.

"I want a stuffed dragon." Toph stated. "I actually need him."

Azula rolled her eyes, "you don't even have the arm space for a stuffed dragon."

"But you do."

"I can go back to that stall and change that." Azula replied.

"I'll give you a kiss if you win it for me, Sparky!"

"I'll win you three of them not to."

"Really?"

"No."

"Okay, okay but think of the possibilities!" Toph tried. "You see, if I have a stuffed dragon I can name it Zuko. And then when he starts going on one of his rants I can hold it up and bob it with each word and pretend like its talking. Do you know how annoying that would be!?"

"That would be completely aggravating." Azula answered. "I'll have a stuffed dragon for you in a few minutes."

Toph smirked smugly and watched the firebender saunter up to the stand. By the end of the line of booths, Toph had not just a stuffed dragon named Zuko but a polar bear dog named Katara, a signing groundhog named Aang, and a penguin named Sokka. At first Sokka was going to be the polar bear dog but the penguin's eye was sewn on lopsided making it look rather goofy. At once she knew that the penguin was Sokka. She convinced Azula to go back twice more and win her a wolfbat—which she named after herself—and another dragon that she started calling Sparky. She plucked a used sparkler stick off of the ground and put it in the stuffed dragon's mouth. "Sparky, meet Sparky. He has a drug problem, see." She pointed to the used sparkler. She could sense the princess staring at her. Toph howled with laugher, "any chance that'll you'll describe the look on your face right now?" She had a pretty good idea of it.

"You're hilarious, love." She spoke flatly. Beneath that she could sense at least some amusement. Azula definitely had a better sense of humor than Zuko. One of these days she would remove that stick from his anus.

Eventually the crowd began to thin as everyone migrated to the hillside for the firework display and the lantern release. Toph had little interest in it. The fireworks came first and, as much as she hated to admit it, she was jumping and starting the whole time until Azula found it in her fiery heart to start warning her when the next one was about to burst. The lanterns were awful in a different, duller Azula gave rather elaborate descriptions of the best lanterns, Toph still found herself bored, it was probably one of those things that she would have to see to actually enjoy. Catching onto her boredom Azula whispered, "You know what would really drive these people nuts?"

"What?" Toph asked. As the lanterns began lifting around them Azula gave her a peck on the cheek, long enough to make onlookers do a double take, but short enough to prevent something ridiculously awkward. For the second time that night Toph nearly doubled over with laughter. Many of those who stared unblinkingly now rolled their eyes at the little prank. "Ah man, you're a riot Sparky!"

.oOo.

Sokka could hear the bursts echoing across Capital City. Every now and again one would be mockingly bright enough to illuminate his room and remind him of what he was missing out on—what he could have been enjoying if he would have just accepted Azula's peace offering. He flopped onto his side and tried to get some sleep but the continuous banging wouldn't allow it. When it did fall silent between bursts the stark quiet of the palace was almost worse. Not a soul lurked in the palace, servants and guards alike were allowed the night off, after all the beginning of the summer solstice was a thing to celebrate.

Eventually he gave up on sleeping and wandered aimlessly around the palace. At one point he stumbled upon the one other person in the palace. "Why aren't you at the festival."

"Someone's gotta guard this place." Xanu sniffed. "Those new guards, they see a couple of pretty little fireworks and they're chanting like kids for a day off."

"The older guards are there too." Sokka pointed out.

Xanu grunted, "they're lazy, the lot of them."

"I don't think anyone's going to break in here." Sokka shrugged.

"Even so, I don't like festivals. Too much noise and not enough space."

Sokka could understand that.

"Why are you still here? You don't have a job to do."

"Too much noise, not enough space." He lied.

"It's that princess isn't it?" He asked. "I'm telling everyone, she's trouble."

"She isn't so bad." Sokka replied. "Everyone here is trouble, have you talked to Toph?" Xanu's cringe told him all that he needed to know. "I guess I'll let you get back to guarding the place then." Sokka left feeling no different, he didn't know why he expected some deep and enlightening conversation from Xanu. At least he knew he wasn't the only buzzkill around.

Sokka couldn't say when it happened but after a few more hours of pointless traipsing he found himself in Azula's room. It smelled like her; cinnamon and pine, a touch of tea and the tang of smoke with a very faint trace of tobacco that still lingered. His heart clenched, he could feel butterflies swarming in his belly. He missed being in here. He missed talking to her. He sat on her bed, it had been made very neatly. He didn't know if such was her doing or one of the serving personal. She still had a few books and scrolls scattered on the side of the bed she didn't sleep on. Leaning against the dresser was his portrait of her. Suddenly he was unbearably tired. He curled himself onto her bed, only intending to rest for a few minutes. But the pillows had her scent too and it beckoned him to sleep.

.oOo.

Azula arranged her festival souvenirs upon her dresser. First set down a golden maneki cat-owl. Around it she arranged a few trinket coins (the ones she hadn't spent on games), one of the lanterns that had fallen from the sky, a few sticks of sparklers that she and Toph had used, two intricate ruby and gold hair chopsticks, and a string of golden beads. She had made a point of buying a few new vases to both hold the other kick-knacks and replace the ones she had shattered during her fit. In the corner of her room, she set her lantern on a stick. A beautiful thing really; made of paper and with hand painted flames. All in all, she had a swell time.

She moved away from her new possessions and strolled to her bed, rubbing tired eyes. It had been a long day; she still longed for her tears. But at this point they weren't consuming her every thought as they had been in the weeks prior. She still wished she had them though, at least a little something, she could only imagine how magical the festival would have been with the extra kick…

Coming upon the bed, Azula narrowed her eyes. "Hey, dumbass, you have your own bed. Sleep in it!" He jerked awake with a surprised yelp. She almost laughed, but she had a feud to continue. Instead she crossed her arms over her chest. "Hurry up, I'm tired and I need to use that."

"Sorry." Sokka mumbled, looking up at her with those puppy dog eyes. That look only worked for one person and that one person was TyLee.

"You will be soon." Azula didn't budge.

Sokka sighed, looking for all the world like she had just given him the worst verbal beatdown in Fire Nation history. She wouldn't cave, not after he'd so blatantly picked at her pride. The sting of seeing the tattered painting still brought a flaming sensation to her stomach. Apparently, she wasn't a subject worth painting after all. And after all of that pretty talk.

"What are you doing in here anyways?"

He rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know. Nothing. It's stupid."

"Yes, it is." She agreed unrelentingly.

He stood and hustled to the door, lingering to look at her lantern. "Did you have a good time?"

"Lovely," but it would have been better if you were there, "especially because I didn't have to deal with you." She didn't know he was going to cry, if she did she might have spoken what was really on her mind. She rolled her eyes, "stop that, it's annoying."

"Then make me stop." Sokka hollered.

Azula hesitated, "…I don't know how."

Sokka laughed, the sort of laugh that chilled her. The laugh that so clearly resembled her own unhinged laughter. "Just—just talk to me."

"I am."

"Talk to me like you don't hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"Then why are you still telling me to leave?"

Azula shifted her weight, growing uncomfortable. She wanted to say something comforting but instead she reminded him of just who threw who out the last time.

"I'm sorry." He muttered.

"Okay."

"Okay, it's fine? Okay, you don't care that I'm sorry?"

"It's fine." She elaborated. "I guess."

His fingers grazed over her ribcage. "I didn't want to do that. I just didn't want you to have to start all over again."

Azula bit the inside of her lip and shifted again. "I don't think I would have given it a second try…" So what was she trying to tell him? That she was glad he had manhandled her? "Maybe next time try throwing the pouch instead?" She couldn't help the attitude that crept into her voice.

"It was an impulse." He ran his hand through disarrayed hair. Impulsive, she mused, that made two of them.

"I suppose we're a dangerous pair, aren't we?" She half-smirked.

Azula gave him the room to come closer. With visible reluctance he extended his arm, falling inches short of touching her until she indicated permission. He was hugging her tighter than usual, leaving her with the vague impression that maybe she should be doing the hugging. Tenderly, he caressed her ribcage, as though that could somehow take away the imprint of pain left there. For a considerable duration of time they stood like so. With the firebender awkwardly admitting to herself that she missed his touch. What that meant, was still just beyond her comprehension, but dancing much closer to it than ever before. "Why have you been so uptight lately?" She spoke, no longer wanting to dwell any further.

The question caught him off guard, she could hear that much in his sputtering. "I-I don't know. Because you…you're feeling better and I'm not."

Azula furrowed her brows and cocked her head.

"It seems like I'm the only one who's completely fucked up anymore. You're getting better…"

"I'm not." She cut him off. "Not completely."

"But you've been clean for what, eight weeks now?"

"Do you think that the drugs were my only problems? What do you think pushed me to them Sokka?" She really didn't mean to make it about her again, but Sokka was steering the conversation that way. He didn't want to talk about his problems yet and if he was anything like her she'd have to claw it out of him.

"You're not alone anymore. Zuko cares about you. Toph has a lot of fun with you. Aang has always seen the good in you. Even Katara is warming up to you." Sokka half-smiled.

"People still think I'm a lunatic. People used to envy me, do you know how they look at me now?"

"Do you?" Sokka asked. "Because I think that you're projecting."

"Excuse me." His bluntness had a way of taking her aback.

"I haven't seen one person snicker or laugh at you since you stopped taking Ruby Tears." Sokka replied. "Except for maybe Xanu, but he complains about everyone."

"He's just mad that I kicked him in the balls." She muttered.

"That was you?" Sokka exclaimed.

She allowed herself a small yet smug laugh.

"So it's settled then," Sokka decided, "you know that no one lowly of you."

She almost told him that she did. But even then she wasn't sure of that. There were days, wonderful days when she didn't hate herself—or maybe she simply forgot about that hatred in the moment. Other days though, she couldn't stand herself and she didn't know why. For that she wanted to go back to the Ash Pit, something about it allowed her to forget herself. To forget her own standards. "That's not it, Sokka." She mumbled, reminded of the other thing that had been clawing away at her.

"Okay, what else then?" He asked.

She wished he hadn't because it all came tumbling out before she could stop it. From the first stumbling journey to the Ash Pit to the next and every ass kicking in between. She told him of the rumble and the initiation beat down—of how terribly small it had rendered her. She told him of getting wildly wasted and, with deliberately less detail, of her night with Minho and Chan and then once again with Chan. Up until then Sokka hadn't cringed at all. "No one is going to love me like that." Azula finished. "Like Chan or Minho…" She was quite for a moment, but not long enough to let him reply. "No one wants to."

He was shedding the tears she could not. "I can."

Azula wasn't sure that she heard him right, or that he had spoken at all. But the thing, the feeling that danced so close to her comprehension was now within grasp. And the fingers that unfurled in her mind reached out. She supposed it made sense.

Why his scorn her so much.

Why his company meant the world.

She didn't know in the faintest, how to reply. Maybe the response wasn't meant to be verbal at all. Even so she never imagined that she would be the one to reach out first. But when his eyes seemed to double in size, she knew that he hadn't been the one to kiss her.

No, like most all of their fights and disputes, she had initiated it.

Azula felt his hand on her head, and then one slide up her back. His lips were on hers longer than she expected them to be, he seemed to lean into her, dipping her back slightly. Still, it was to short. He pulled his lips away. But they remained close. It must have been only for a few seconds, but it felt longer, that they had stood with their foreheads touching. She could feel his breaths on her lips.

This time she heard him very clearly. "I can."