I do not own any of the internet personalities or memes presented in this story.

The Internet Police: The Will of the Internet

Internexus Vult

"This is reinstated MicroNews reporter Brian Collins reporting live from the ruins of Chicago. Once one of America's greatest metropolitan areas, Chicago has been deemed unlivable by urban experts for the foreseeable future."

News reporter Brian Collins was walking along one of Chicago's riverwalks, with the nearby river filled with engine debris, bullets, American and Chicago flags, and fallen bridges and towers. Though he used the term unlivable, he thought it would have been more appropriate to describe Chicago as an apocalyptic wasteland. But of course, he wanted to provide some positivity to his audience in desperate need of it.

"In what has been called the Great Schism of America, over half a million Americans have lost their lives from sea to shining sea. These Americans ranged from George Zazz's Patricians, the excommunicated ex-Patricians, rebels trying to stop his plans, or innocent victims caught in the crossfire. Chicago was only the worst American city to suffer the catastrophe of the Great Schism of America. Evidence of generational, cultural, and societal strife can be found in many regions of the United States. From the tearing down of New York City's skyscrapers by George Zazz's Patricians to the new Dust Bowl engulfing the Great Plains, never before has America torn itself apart since the days of the American Civil War," spoke Brian Collins to his camera crew. "Since the death of George Zazz, a tenuous peace has emerged throughout our great nation. The rebels and other people negatively affected by George Zazz's cultural crusades have been gleefully tearing down and defacing statues and monuments dedicated to the so-called Emperor of the Internet, and though they have tried to ransack art museums and historical sites to rid America of they called its 'poisonous nostalgic past', they have been stopped by professional soldiers guarding these places. With the revelation that George Zazz has been torturing and brainwashing Plebeians on Utopia Island and the Island of the Misfits, an outraged public has demanded the release of all patients on the two islands, with the freeing process still ongoing as we speak. Lastly, the media has been trying to get into contact with the three individuals many considered as having led to George Zazz's downfall. They are named the Nostalgia Critic, the Angry Video Game Nerd, and HurricaneAubrey, but so far, efforts to reach them have been unsuccessful. This is Brian Collins reporting live from the ruins of Chicago."

If only Brian Collins had thought to look in a place where Chicagoans went to seek refuge, he would have found the three heroes who brought down George Zazz's reign of terror in Chicago's Millennium Park. With the park reverting back to its original name, the Critic, the Nerd, and HurricaneAubrey were sitting next to Cloud Gate with Allison, JoeyGraceffa, and Strawburry17, the latter three having been rescued from Utopia Island. Thankfully, they avoided the fate of being lobotomized on the Island of the Misfits. The Critic and the Nerd were in a deep discussion with Strawburry17 and JoeyGraceffa over the futures of the Internet Police and the Institute of Internet Studies. Meanwhile, HurricaneAubrey, whose hair was now growing longer, was trying to convince her sister to listen to Lindsey Stirling songs on her portable device, but as George Zazz deemed them obscene and pornographic, Allison, who had been brainwashed on Utopia Island, refused to put on some headphones to listen to her former favorite musician.

"My little sister. Please come back," begged HurricaneAubrey as she held the device containing Lindsey Stirling songs in her hands.

But every time HurricaneAubrey moved the device towards Allison, her little sister shifted away from her and wrapped herself tighter in a blanket she had brought along. The blanket was covering her as she was wearing what George Zazz would deem only worthy of a deranged person: a rainbow bowtie, dark pants, a white buttoned up shirt, a blue vest, and a tan coat. Allison only agreed to wear this outfit due to HurricaneAubrey's prodding and a slight rebellious nature in herself, but now out in public, she cloaked herself in shame with a blanket she secretly packed with her. Allison felt naked in her outfit, and wondered what everyone around her was thinking. HurricaneAubrey was distraught over her sister's lack of former playfulness.

"It's time for another approach," said HurricaneAubrey to her sister. "Wait here. I'll get you some pizza."

Allison nodded her head just so that she could place some distance between herself and her big sister. Even though she loved her big sister, she couldn't risk being tempted to perform Plebeian deeds. With HurricaneAubrey away, Allison could see if anyone was staring at her immodestly dressed form. Much to her relief, nobody was paying attention to her. The four people chatting at Cloud Gate were preoccupied with their own monumental issues. Elsewhere around her, people were celebrating the downfall of George Zazz by singing and dancing in outlandish clothing over the fallen Emperor's torn and graffitied monuments, some even taking self-portraits of themselves in front of burning effigies of George Zazz. Allison then saw a procession of mourners walking through Millennium Park holding candles and electronic devices, with the devices displaying their departed friends and family members in happier times. As Allison heard the wailing of the crowd, she knew that similar scenes like this one were happening throughout America because of George Zazz. Somewhere beyond her brainwashed mind, Allison knew the magnitude of George Zazz's twisted mind.

"I was once a rebel against Georgie's insanity, and I'm not going to be afraid of him any longer," thought Allison.

She was ready to remove the blanket covering her when an all too familiar figure emerged in front of her.

"Look at you, dressed like a harlot. What would your ancestors say about you?" spoke the imaginary figure of George Zazz in a British accent.

"Listen, Georgie. The film The Will of the Internet told me all about your past as a Florida Cracker and a hedonistic teenager. Why should I believe anything you say?" said Allison with courage and conviction.

"Because my Patricians will hunt you down to the ends of the earth and do unspeakable things to you," said George Zazz. "And that's not even including the ex-Patricians who probably hate you to the same degree as my adherents."

"And how many Patricians are there in the world?" asked Allison.

"Who knows?" said George Zazz.

"So you're not all-knowing and all-powerful," said Allison smugly.

"Who said that I was not omnipotent? After all, I am speaking to you right now for I have transcended mortality," remarked George Zazz.

"You're only in my mind. You can't possibly hurt me," stated Allison.

"But my followers will carry on my mission to rid the world of Plebeians like you. They will lurk in the shadows for the rest of your days, and there is nothing you can do to stop them. They could be anyone and anywhere. They could be here right now or they could catch you the very next day. Think about it, Allison," said George Zazz.

Like a ghost, George Zazz disappeared from Allison's mind. Remembering the atrocities George Zazz committed and how well-meaning her big sister was in restoring her former self, Allison threw off her blanket to reveal her colorful dress. She felt liberated and free to be herself without the actual Emperor of the Internet to judge her. But as she was about to strut around Millennium Park without a care in the world, she felt that she was being examined and critiqued thoroughly by the general population. She perceived the faces she saw as being hostile and disgusted with her, from the mourners to the partying people in the streets.

"They could be anyone and anywhere," thought Allison in reference to what the image of George Zazz said about his followers. "And they will hunt you down to the ends of the earth."

Allison covered herself with the blanket and placed her hand over her weeping face.

"They're probably taking pictures of me and posting them on the internet with statements like slut or whore," thought Allison as she sat down in shame.

In reality, they were ignoring her as they were concerned with either lamentations or celebrations. Allison then saw the Critic, the Nerd, JoeyGraceffa, and Strawburry17 stop their immersive conversations to stare at her.

"What are they thinking of? Have they really broken away from George Zazz's ideology? Who can I trust in this day and age?" thought Allison as she saw the four internet personalities return back to their conversation. "They're probably insulting me right now."

In reality, the four internet personalities had briefly cut off their conversation about the future of the Internet Police and the Institute of Internet Studies to see how Allison was doing after her traumatic experience on Utopia Island, and all four of them were thankful that she wasn't subjected to further treatment on the Island of the Misfits. They were genuinely concerned for her physical and mental health. They hoped that HurricaneAubrey's purchase of pizza would snap Allison out of her paranoia.

"So let me get this straight. You're going to make a pilgrimage through Japan (mainly focusing on Tokyo and Kyoto) for an indeterminate amount of time rather than stick behind with the newly reformed IIS led by Administrator Forest Gibson," said the Critic. "After your invaluable contribution to the film The Will of the Internet in bringing about Georgie's demise, why don't you want to stay and rid America of any remnants of his Patrician ideology?"

"Come on JoeyGraceffa, you have more balls than many of the so-called men I encountered," said the Nerd. "And Strawburry17, you're a good role model to young girls everywhere. I cannot believe that you're not going to participate in the reconstruction of America. We could really use more people like the two of you. Even our friends from Greendale are helping out in the rebuilding process by making more films discrediting George Zazz."

"I really don't want to argue with you two seeing as there is enough divisions in today's world right now, but our decision is final. We will take a hiatus from the internet and the real world by traveling to Japan," said JoeyGraceffa. "Do you really want to stop me? Because I can fight you if that's what it takes to go to Japan."

JoeyGraceffa stood up to face the Critic and Nerd in a fist fight. The two Internet Police agents examined JoeyGraceffa and saw that they could easily take him down with even just one of them. Nevertheless, they decided it was in their best interest not to add to the world even more generational turmoil.

"Fine," said the Critic. "I guess we all need a break after all the shit we've been through. Would you agree with me, Nerd?"

"I guess so," said the Nerd. "But it is disappointing that the two you won't join us in rebuilding America. We could use a few more participants."

"Oh we're going to help you," said Strawburry17. "Just in our own way. Just as Christians go to the Holy Lands to find enlightenment in their lives, JoeyGraceffa and I will make a pilgrimage to Japan to seek answers in this troubling world."

"Well that settles it," said the Critic. "Now is HurricaneAubrey back yet?"

Allison was eavesdropping on the conversation between the four internet personalities, and upon hearing of JoeyGraceffa and Strawburry17's pilgrimage to Japan, she decided to ask the four of them permission go on her own journey. Considering how much her big sister wanted her to remain close for her own safety, she believed that getting the support of the Critic, the Nerd, Strawburry17, and JoeyGraceffa would be enough to sway her big sister into letting her leave the country. She approached the four internet personalities and began voicing her opinion.

"Uhh. Hello," said Allison with a nervous smile and an awkward hand wave to the four internet personalities. "I wanted to announce my own self-exile to the Alps."

"Fine by us," said the four of them simultaneously.

Allison was taken aback by how casually they wanted her to leave America.

"I'm serious. I'm going to break all connection to the internet considering how much people hate me there. The internet is such an evil place, and I'm going to retreat to the Alps to escape this malevolent force," said Allison.

This time, the four internet personalities shook their heads in disbelief.

"The internet is everywhere nowadays. We use it to work, to shop, and to play," said JoeyGraceffa. "You can't hide from it even if you live in Amish country or in the middle of the Antarctica."

"That's right. We just have to live with the internet whether we like it or not," said Strawburry17.

"If you're going to live peacefully with the internet, you have to know that someone is bound to hate you and tell you how shit you are. I know I had that experience many times. For example, I tried to review the movie Matilda, and I was greeted with internet commentators calling for my head for threatening to desecrate their nostalgic memories of the film," said the Critic. "That's the internet for you."

"All in all, I'll give you this word of advice that has helped your big sister throughout the chaos of the internet and real life: prepare for the unpredictable," said the Nerd. "It served her well, and I hope that you will return from the Alps feeling rejuvenated from your time on Utopia Island."

"Speaking of your big sister, there she is right now carrying some pizza," stated Strawburry17.

HurricaneAubrey saw her little sister wrapped in a blanket as she was standing besides the Critic, the Nerd, JoeyGraceffa, and Strawburry17.

"I brought a combination of New York style pizza and Chicago style pizza," said HurricaneAubrey.

"I assume that you're symbolically trying to reunite the nation by combining two different pizza styles from two distinct urban areas," said JoeyGraceffa, who was regaining his knowledge of literary techniques.

"Yeah," said HurricaneAubrey in a confused tone.

The six companions sat down to eat pizza. After being force-fed to eat foie gras and caviar on Utopia Island, Allison felt an unbelievable amount of joy when she ate the distinct tastes and flavors of the New York and Chicago style pizzas. Allison was waiting for the right time to tell her big sister about her decision to travel to the Alps.

"So are we ready to move into Boston?" asked HurricaneAubrey.

"The Chief is making the final preparations to secure our headquarters in Boston," answered the Nerd. "We just need to salvage a few more portions of our destroyed complex in Chicago."

"Why Boston of all places," said JoeyGraceffa. "I didn't exactly have a fun childhood in Boston."

"Like I said before JoeyGraceffa, it is one of the few American cities that suffered little damage from the Great Schism. And besides, it is a hub of commerce and research, perfect for our line of work," said the Critic.

"And I can take Allison to the historical sites and rich cultural museums after the two of us secure permanent residence in the city," spoke HurricaneAubrey excitedly.

"About that," said Strawburry17.

"What? I'm not going to let Allison out of my sight after what she's been through," stated HurricaneAubrey with her hips on her hands.

"Allison wants to go to into self-isolation to the Alps," said the Nerd.

"Are you kidding me?!" yelled HurricaneAubrey. "Look at her! She's traumatized. She's hiding herself in shame with a blanket and refuses to listen to her favorite songs. Are you telling me that she wants to go into the world in this fragile state?! She belongs with me where she is safe."

"Well to be fair, you were partially responsible for putting me in this state," spoke Allison. "You chose to side with George Zazz when you decided to cut ties with me on Ellis Island, and you continued to follow his ideology until recently."

"Allison! I was undergoing a great amount of stress at that time. I was seduced by Georgie until the Critic rescued me, and he understood my plight. I beg you Allison to join me in Boston so we can reunite as a family again," spoke HurricaneAubrey in a desperate tone.

"I want to rejoin you, but I can't trust anyone right now regardless of how well-meaning they are," said Allison to her big sister. "We will come together one day, but for right now, I need to retreat to the mountains of Europe to gather my thoughts and understand why. Why did the Great Schism happen? Why did half a million people die because of Mozart and Beethoven? I know that the movie The Will of the Internet answered some of these questions. However, I need to do further independent research to comprehend the tumultuous events. Besides residing within the Alps, I will occasionally make excursions into cities like Vienna and Salzburg. I will be back someday big sis. Just not today."

In a show of strength, Allison threw off her blanket to reveal her colorful outfit, and this time, she showed no shame on her face. HurricaneAubrey darted her eyes all over her little sister, and after a few silent minutes, she spoke.

"Alright. You may go. But we must have one last meal of pizza here in Chicago," said HurricaneAubrey.

"Deal," said Allison.

With Allison set to go Europe and the two Institute of Internet Studies scientists prepared to go to Japan, at least three members of the group of six was chatting passionately amongst themselves over their travel itinerary. As for the three Internet Police agents, there was still some unfinished business that needed to be taken care of.

"So I'll be all alone then in Boston," said HurricaneAubrey.

"Not necessarily. You'll be getting an apprentice and partner of your own now that you have been trained properly by the Critic and me," spoke the Nerd.

"My own apprentice?" questioned HurricaneAubrey.

"Yeah. Your apprentice will probably be female, and she'll be somewhat hot-headed. Then again, all Internet Police agents are when they start out," said the Critic. "Just like I was when I was an apprentice to the Nerd."

"You were quite the asshole when you were my apprentice Critic," said the Nerd.

HurricaneAubrey was looking afraid as she stood up and wandered around Cloud Gate.

"Don't worry about your partner. I'm sure things will work out between the two of you," said the Critic. "After all, things worked out for America after the downfall of George Zazz."

Off in the distance, a skyscraper collapsed, emitting a loud bang followed by a cloud of smoke.

"As a trained Internet Police agent and one of the leading contributors to the end of the Great Schism, what will my legacy be?" asked HurricaneAubrey. "Will I be seen as a lady of liberty or a harbinger of civilization's downfall?"

"It is too soon to tell," remarked the Critic. "Even centuries later, the legacy of the French Revolution is debated. Was it a great leap forward for democracy and equality or was it a savage and bloody affair that led to decades of anarchy and tyranny for France. So I'm sure it is premature for you to ask what your legacy will be."

HurricaneAubrey looked back at Cloud Gate.

"This is where the Nerd made me an Internet Police agent, and so began my adventure into the exciting and insane world of the internet," said HurricaneAubrey. "Oh how I had no idea of what I was getting myself into."

"I apologize for not being a part of your induction into the Internet Police," said the Critic.

"I understand," said HurricaneAubrey. "You needed more time to trust me. Do you trust me now?"

"I trust you now," said the Critic. "And at Cloud Gate, the three of us will now make our way to the new Internet Police Complex in Boston to fight whatever new threats and dangers confronts us in this strange new world." The Critic faced HurricaneAubrey and the Nerd to gain their approvals. "Are you with me?"

"Yes," answered HurricaneAubrey simply.

"Internexus Vult!" shouted the Nerd.

"Internexus Vult?" questioned the Critic and HurricaneAubrey. "Isn't that George Zazz's motto?"

"I'm claiming it for the Internet Police. The motto will now be attributed to protecting and serving the population of the internet," said the Nerd. "Now that we got that issue out of the way, let us shout Internexus Vult. Internexus Vult!"

"Internexus Vult!" shouted the Critic and HurricaneAubrey. "For the will of the internet!"

Before returning to eat pizza with Allison, JoeyGraceffa, and Strawburry17 at Cloud Gate, the three Internet Police agents looked eastward towards Boston. There was a mixture of optimism and pessimism, and the three Internet Police agents knew that they needed to practice cautious optimism in this new world. But no matter what, they would prepare for the unpredictable.

Please review this story to provide me some feedback. What were some things you like and didn't like about the story? What other internet personalities or memes should the Internet Police encounter in the next installment? What plots and real life issues should the Internet Police face? Once again, I thank all of you for following this story to the very end.