Total Drama Insanity
In this chapter, we're going to have yet another aftermath special...at this point over half of the campers have been eliminated...shocking eh?
Chapter 29: Total Drama Aftermath 3
As before in the previous two aftermath episodes, Geoff and Bridgette were ready to interview the campers. Sitting on the bottom row were Courtney, Scott, and Alejandro. Sitting on the middle row were Gwen, Cody and Cameron. Sitting on the top were Sam and Dakota.
"Welcome to our third aftermath special. As of now, over half of the campers on this season have been eliminated. This season sure is going fast, I must admit." said Bridgette.
"It's a shame that Blaineley is a host this season...at least Chris didn't loathe you with a passion." said Geoff.
"Yes, I know." agreed Bridgette.
"Blaineley stinks. Why do I even keep coming on the show?" murmured Gwen.
"Well, Chris did make us all sign a contract. " pointed out Cameron.
"I wish I never signed it." said Gwen.
"Me neither." agreed Cody.
"I want to shove it in a paper shredder." said Dakota. "Too bad Chris probably hid it somewhere."
The other campers nodded in agreement, with the exception of Scott and Alejandro. Perhaps they actually enjoyed the way Blaineley ran the game?
"For now, let's start introducing the campers that have been voted off over the last few episodes! First of all, let's welcome Owen, whose possibly the biggest eater in the universe!" exclaimed Geoff.
Sure enough, Owen arrived on the stage. Immediately, the audience applauded. Apparently he was rather popular...which wasn't very surprising considering the fact that he won the original Total Drama.
"Funny, I was expecting you to last a little...longer." answered Bridgette.
"I know. It feels so weird." said Owen as he sat in the interview chair.
"So...did you feel guilty about sabotaging your own team? I know that you couldn't resist eating those cookies that your teammates did." inquired Geoff.
"As a matter of fact, I do. I don't know what I was thinking...why do I have to be so hungry all the time?" Owen inquired.
"It's because you have an eating disorder, you pig!" Courtney exclaimed.
"Courtney, shut up." answered Gwen.
"Maybe next time you can try to resist temptation, I suppose." said Bridgette.
"I sure hope I can do that..." noted Owen.
"Anyways, you've got a large amount of fan mail...so I'll read you five questions." said the surfer chick as Geoff came by with a large amount of fan mail.
"Dear Owen, you're so fat, you took up three entire Total Drama episodes! From Bill." read Bridgette.
"I do admit that Chris puts me on camera a lot..." said Owen.
"Oh dear...it looks like someone's making fun of you! Sorry about that, buddy!" said Geoff.
"I've received far worse jokes than that, actually." said the fat boy.
"Really?" questioned Cameron.
"Again, we're really sorry to hear that." answered Bridgette as she pulled out another letter.
"Dear Owen, why haven't you had a heart attack? From Nina." read the surfer chick.
Owen simply sighed.
"I'm just lucky, I guess. Although my doctor said that I should eat a bit less..." said the chubby teen.
"Here's hoping you don't choke on your own vomit, I guess." murmured Scott.
All the other campers' faces turned green.
"What? That can actually happen." said the disgusting teen.
"Another fat people insult, huh?" asked Geoff.
"I'm afraid so." answered Bridgette as she pulled out another letter.
"Dear Owen, how often do you go to McDonalds? From Billy." read the surfer chick.
"I go there quite a l-Wait a minute! Is this another fat person insult?" inquired the teenager.
"People are having a field day insulting you apparently." noted Cody.
"Why do fat people have to be so easy to make fun of?" wondered Sam.
"It seems most of the fans of this show are rather immature...how unfortunate." noted Bridgette.
"Let's hope our next fan is nicer." agreed Geoff as Bridgette pulled out another letter.
"Dear Owen, I have to wear a gas mask whenever you're around! Your farts are poisonous! From Paul." read the surfer chick.
Owen simply rolled his eyes as Geoff pulled out another letter for Bridgette to read.
"Dear Owen, you are so awesome! I wish you won this season! From Katie." read the surfer chick.
"Finally...I was worried that all these letters involved making fun of me..." noted Owen.
"Congrats?" answered Sam.
"Now then Owen, please take a seat, will you buddy?" said Geoff.
Owen nodded and sat in the top row.
"Now then, who was the next contestant to be eliminated after Owen?" questioned the teenager.
"I believe it was Tyler." answered Bridgette.
"Oh right...how could I have forgotten that...I'm starting to feel a bit like Lindsay." said Geoff.
"Yeah...for some strange reason people keep calling me stupid simply I because I somewhat resemble her...seriously?" questioned Bridgette.
"That's horrible." said Geoff.
"Well, it does get on my nerves, I can tell you that. Anyways, here comes Tyler now! Hopefully he won't get his arm injured if he ever competes on the show again...of course, seeing though Chris is gone maybe he won't have to compete on the show anymore..." said Bridgette.
"Maybe not." agreed Geoff.
Sure enough Tyler arrived on the stage with his arm in a sling.
"Is your arm getting any better? Thank goodness you're a cartoon character so you can heal quickly." inquired the male host.
"Yeah, I know..." said Tyler. "Wait, are we breaking the fourth wall?"
"I can't count how many times it's been broken at this point..." questioned Bridgette.
"Apparently the author enjoys doing that...and I just did it again." said Geoff.
"Anyways, let's stop breaking the fourth wall for now and start asking you questions...are you happy that you weren't separated from your girlfriend for long? She only lasted two episodes before she was sent to the Playas Des Losers with you..." asked Bridgette.
"Yes and no...while I was happy to see Lindsay again, I was personally hoping that she would win this season." said Tyler.
"Sorry to hear that." sympathized Geoff.
"It wasn't all bad though, Lindsay finally got my name right...I was afraid that she never would...maybe I should give myself a nickname that would be easy for her to remember?" inquired Tyler.
"T-Bone, maybe?" inquired Owen.
"Funny, I figured that you would probably suggest a nickname that involved food..." said Tyler.
"I sure hope that you won't have to ride on a flying broomstick again...that sounds dangerous." said Dakota.
"I know..." agreed the jock. "Personally I think I was lucky I only broke my arm...what if I ended up being injured so badly that I became a mummy?"
"Yeah..." nodded Cody, recalling his horrible experience back in the first season that got him eliminated.
"It's a shame...I almost caught the Golden Snitch too...if I captured it I likely would have won it for my team." said Tyler.
"Mm-hmm, everyone knows that golden Snitches practically win a Quidditch game by default." agreed Sam.
"Makes me wonder why they included Quaffles in the first place. What's the point? They're only like ten points each." nodded Dakota.
"Yeah, I agree with you on that. Someone didn't really think that through." inquired Gwen.
"Anyways, you've got some fan mail..." said Bridgette as Geoff came by holding a bag of fan mail.
"I'm halfway done with this..." thought Geoff as he carried the heavy mail bag.
"Dear Tyler, some jock you are. From Thunder." read the surfer chick.
"I wonder if he's friends with Lightning. They even have a similar name..." replied Tyler.
"They might team up to wedgie me up a flagpole..." whimpered Cameron.
" I personally wonder how we keep pulling out mean fan letters..." agreed Geoff as Bridgette pulled out another letter.
"Dear Tyler, you remind me of Charlie Brown. From Lucy." read Bridgette.
"I wonder why she would say that..." inquired Tyler.
"Maybe because you have a hard time kicking a football?" questioned Cameron.
"Yeah, maybe..." agreed Tyler as Bridgette once more reached into the bag.
"Dear Tyler, can I sign your arm cast? From Lizzie." read the surfer chick.
"Sure...you'd have to get on the show first though." answered Tyler.
"I wonder how she'll actually do that? Then again Sierra did so with ease..." noted Cody.
"Yeah, she sure was persistent, wasn't she?" inquired Gwen.
"Mm-hmm...and our contract with Chris won't expire for ages." said Cody, who suddenly began to shudder.
Bridgette once more pulled out a letter.
"Dear Tyler, Blaineley sucks. From Bill." read Bridgette.
"I'd have to say I agree with you on that one." agreed Tyler.
"I think we all agree on that." answered Cameron.
"The sooner someone replaces her, the better." nodded Gwen.
"Maybe I should lock her in a septic tank..." thought Scott. "That would be awesome."
"You already did that last season! And that's disgusting!" bellowed Scott's talking conscience.
Scott simply rolled his eyes. Even though he had already been eliminated his conscience still wouldn't leave him alone. Maybe he should get some earplugs?
He personally wondered if Heather and Alejandro also had to deal with a talking conscience...or was he the only one that was actually plagued by it? Who knew? It wasn't like he could read people's thoughts.
"Dear Tyler, you are my hero! From Kyle." read Bridgette.
"That's nice of him to say...even if I failed miserably during the Quidditch challenge." said Tyler. "I wonder when Lindsay will be here..."
"She'll be here right after Heather." explained Geoff.
"Oh right..." said Tyler.
"Now then, please take a seat." said Bridgette.
Tyler nodded and sat in the top row next to Owen.
"Next up is Heather...I don't think we're going to be too happy to see her...we all know what she's like, after all." noted the surfer chick.
"She's the reason I had to wear a Darth Vader suit..." spoke Alejandro.
"At least injuries are never permanent on this show..." noted Geoff.
Sure enough Heather came by...and immediately many of the audience members began to boo her.
"Oh dear, she really is a heel, isn't she?" said Bridgette.
"No duh." murmured Heather as she sat in the chair.
"So Heather...you got eliminated right before the merge...that must be a shame." murmured Geoff.
"You think?!" exclaimed Heather.
"Ah yes, the villains on this show seem to be going awfully quickly...in fact the only one that I can think of right now is Blaineley herself..." said Bridgette.
"Maybe she'll get hers at the end of the season? That's what always seemed to happen to Chris." noted Owen.
"Mm-hmm. You know it's weird...part of me is happy to see her on the aftermath special..." agreed Gwen.
"Are you going crazy like Izzy?" inquired Cameron.
"What? No no no. My mental health is fine...I'm not on the RCMP's Most Wanted List, am I?" questioned Gwen.
"You might as well be..." murmured Courtney.
"Seeing though you likely aren't looking forward to this interview and probably want to head to the Playas Des Losers soon, we'll try to make this interview quick, OK?" explained Bridgette.
"It better be quick." said Heather.
Suffice to say, Heather's sack of fan mail was rather small...assuming of course, that the letters inside weren't hate mail.
"Yeah...you're not rather popular around here, sorry." said Geoff.
"I wonder why?" asked Gwen sarcastically.
Alejandro nodded in agreement. Why did she have to backstab him at the last minute? If it weren't for her he could have won the prize money with ease. Then again, that was what he had spent his time backstabbing people during that particular season...
Bridgette pulled out a letter for a question to ask Heather with from the fans.
"Dear Heather, if I dropped a bucket on your head, would you melt? From Dorothy." read Bridgette.
"What? Why would I-oh very funny!" answered Heather.
"I personally want to test that out myself." murmured Gwen.
Bridgette pulled out another letter.
"Dear Heather, why do you have to be so mean? From Kenny." read Bridgette.
"You want mean? How about a host that makes us participate in all these horrible challenges while not caring if we get injured or killed and even murders his own interns! Now that's mean!" exclaimed Heather.
"She...has a surprisingly good point." agreed Cameron.
"I suppose it's a good thing that Chris is in jail then." said Geoff.
Bridgette once more pulled out a letter.
"Dear Heather, are you still wearing a wig? From Larry." read Bridgette.
Heather's cheeks turned red.
"What? No I'm not! I grew my hair back! Don't you remember?" inquired Heather.
"I personally think baldness suits you." said Courtney.
Heather promptly glared at Courtney.
"I know how being bald feels..." whimpered Dakota.
"At least your hair grew back pretty quickly..." answered Sam.
"True...but then I became a mutant..." said Dakota.
"But you got fixed." said Cameron.
"Oh, right." said Dakota.
"Now then, could you sit down?" inquired Bridgette.
Heather nodded, sitting in the bottom row while trying to sit as far away from Gwen as possible.
"Now then, let's see our last contestant for the night...she's our first merge contestant to be on this show...I'm sure Tyler will be happy to see her again." said Geoff.
"I think I know who it is..." said Tyler.
"Here comes Lindsay!" exclaimed Bridgette.
Sure enough, Lindsay arrived on stage. Many members of the audience cheered...including Tyler himself even though technically he was part of the peanuts gallery.
"Why are there so many people watching us?" inquired Lindsay.
"We're in a TV studio right now..." said Geoff.
"Oh. I get it!" she exclaimed.
"So Lindsay...how did it feel to be the first contestant to be part of the merge to end up being voted off?" inquired Bridgette.
"I got voted off? My memory's a little fuzzy...oh wait that's right...Blaineley kicked me because she thought I was dumb..." murmured Lindsay.
"Actually, I think she kicked you out because you figured out what her real name was..." said Geoff.
"I did?" inquired Lindsay.
"Yeah...she'll basically do anything to prevent people from finding out her actual name...even cut off their own tongues, apparently." said Bridgette.
The members of the peanut gallery promptly turned white.
"Sorry, maybe I exaggerated a bit...but she sure wants to keep things under wraps." apologized the surfer chick.
"Yeah, I know." nodded Geoff.
"Anyways, how did you feel when your boyfriend was eliminated? I know how sad Geoff was when I got sprayed by that skunk and had to head to the Playa..." said Bridgette.
"I felt bad...it just wasn't the same without him competing on the show with me..." nodded Lindsay in agreement.
"Well, for better or for worse, you weren't separated from him for long." said Geoff.
"How long was it?" asked Lindsay.
"You were separated from me for two episodes..." said Tyler. "Including the one you were voted off..."
"Oh, that's nice." answered the blonde.
"Anyways, are you glad Heather went before you?" said Bridgette.
Lindsay promptly raised her hands in the air.
"I'll take that as a yes." answered the surfer chick.
Geoff came by with a heavy sack of fan mail.
"Less than half of the campers to go..." murmured Geoff as he carried it.
Bridgette pulled out a few letters to read to Lindsay.
"Dear Lindsay, what's two plus two? From Gary." read Bridgette.
"Um, four?" answered Lindsay.
"Lucky guess..." murmured Courtney as the surfer chick pulled out another letter.
"Dear Lindsay, is your boyfriend as dumb as you are? From Libby." read the surfer chick.
Tyler and Lindsay both looked offended.
"How am I even supposed to answer that?" wondered Lindsay.
"I know...I wonder how crazy some of our fans are." said Geoff.
"Yes, I know." agreed Bridgette as she pulled out another letter.
"Dear Lindsay, you are so freaking hot! From Tony." read the surfer chick.
"He does realize that I have a boyfriend right?" wondered Lindsay.
"I sure hope so." agreed Tyler.
"What a flirt." said Sam.
"Then again I'm sure that Tyler would agree with him, am I right?" questioned Cody.
Tyler's cheeks turned red.
"Right..." said the jock as Bridgette pulled out the last letter for the night.
"Dear Lindsay, did you pass kindergarten? From Wesley." read the surfer chick.
"Yes I did...I had a D average, why?" inquired Lindsay.
Tyler looked like he was ready to scream.
"I got an A+++." said Courtney.
"Oh, did you?" inquired Gwen.
"I got an A-..." said Cameron.
"Well, that's all we have to time for today...now if you would calmly head to the ex-
Bridgette was cut off when suddenly Owen farted a rather horrible gas that soon spread throughout the entire studio.
"Gah!" screamed Cody.
"What is this horrible smell?!" exclaimed Gwen.
"Good thing my Darth Vader suit didn't come with a nose..." noted Alejandro.
"Guys, please forgive me!" bellowed Owen.
"Um, on second thought, you need to get out of here right now! Run for it!" exclaimed the surfer chick.
"What my girlfriend said!" bellowed Geoff.
The audience immediately did as Bridgette and Geoff told them to do...followed by the peanut gallery and the aftermath duo themselves.
Fortunately, no fires were started in the process, so the studio did not explode...which was rather fortunate since Blaineley had an insurance policy up the wazoo for the place.
Oh dear...Owen shouldn't have visited that Mexican buffet, now should he? It looks like Geoff and Bridgette will have to wear gas masks for the next aftermath special...assuming that the TV studio doesn't get closed down.
Anyways, in the next chapter, the campers will be participating on a challenge based on a scary Canadian movie...that wasn't that well-received.
