Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. Those would be the property of Ryan Murphy, Fox and so on and so forth.

Author's Note:

Guys, no words can express my sincerest apologies for leaving you guys so long. It's kind of funny, when you're the author of a story you think to yourself, "Oh, life's getting in the way, my readers will understand, no big deal..." But when you're the reader of a story you're like, "Bitch, where's my update?" Lol, I know how it is. I'm definitely the reader to a lot of stories and I know I always want updates. So with this new perspective, I feel like a villian for leaving you guys for as long as I have. Definitely not cool of me. So I think what I'll do here is stop rambling and get on with your much anticipated Chapter 29! Thanks for being such amazing reviewers. Your dedication means all the world to me. Also as a note, this chapter is going to flip a lot between present and past encounters. Just as a note. ^.^

-Casey

Chapter 29. "Recovery"

"Hey Blaine, what ya workin' on?"

Blaine looked up from his task at hand and spotted Jillian walking over to his work station. It was visiting day and he had assumed everyone was outside enjoying the warmest day of the winter thus far. Blaine had been invited to come down, but he figured there was no point seeing as he'd been on restriction from all phone calls and visitation during his recovery for the past few months. All it would do is depress him, so instead he decided to stay upstairs in the living area and work on his drawing. He placed his pencil down and greeted his visitor with a warm smile.

It had been three months since Blaine had last heard Kurt's voice. The melodic beautiful tone belonging to the love of his life was beginning to fade into a distant memory. The last words Blaine had spoken to him were meaningless and spoken with such anger. He had spent the last three months regretting it. Kurt had only been trying to help and urge him to let the clinic help him, but instead, Blaine lashed out on him like, well-a mental patient. The thing Blaine had been denying to himself for so long had come into fruition that night. He sounded like a raving lunatic as he shouted at the one person he knew truly loved him. He'd do practically anything to re-live that moment, he'd tell Kurt how much he loved him and wanted to get better so that he could come home to him.

The months had been hard, but Blaine managed with Jillian's help. He had spent a couple of weeks withdrawn and melancholy and doing the complete opposite of what Nurse Leila had requested of him. It was low, but he still refused to believe he had a problem and that being placed here was some horrible mistake. It took meeting Jill and befriending her to realize he really did have a problem and his being here was not a punishment, but done as an act of love by those who cared for him.

He hadn't planned on getting to know any other patients at the clinic, but he had felt a connection to her since the first day they had been brought in. He recalled that first night when she had requested if they could stay in their rooms instead of bonding with the other patients. Her resemblance to Kurt had been what struck him. He remembered the girl with the lifeless brown hair, the creamy pale skin and the eyes that despite the pain they held, were still as beautiful as a calm, scintillating ocean...just like Kurt's.

"Hey, Jill, I thought you'd be down with everyone else. What brings you up here to hang out with the recluse?" Blaine joked.

"Eh, already had my visit with my dad and as you know, that's a visit I like to keep short."

Blaine nodded in reply as she took her usual seat at their usual table. She glanced over at the drawing and gasped.

"Blaine, that's really good! You never told me you were an artist!"

Blaine laughed. "I'm definitely no artist. It's just my way of loving him from afar. I miss him so much and I don't even have a picture of him with me here, so I decided I'd have to make one of my own. Hardly does him justice, believe me."

Blaine had been working on drawing a picture of Kurt as his way of coping. The months really had been hard not hearing Kurt's voice. Not being able to see him or talk to him just made his heart heavy with longing. If he didn't have Jillian, he was sure that he would have lost his mind by now. Had she not gone out of her way to speak to him, he was sure he wouldn't be in the place he was in now.

He had been on his own in the living room on a day very much like this when she had first approached him.

Blaine sat at a table alone. He had grown fond of this table. It was the furthest you could get whilst still be considered bonding with the other patients. The table sat in the far left corner of the room right next to a large bay window. It would probably be a gorgeous view if Blaine could bring himself to look outside.

The clinic was located in the middle of nowhere. No cars passing by, just land. Beautiful green pasture with thickets of trees surrounding the grounds. The snowfall was what had Blaine in such a mood. Christmas was quickly approaching and Blaine wouldn't be home for it. Christmas was his favorite time of the year and he was spending it locked in a mental ward. On top of it all, it would be Blaine and Kurt's first Christmas together and he was going to miss it because he fucked up and got himself committed. He could barely stand to look at himself.

He made it a habit to sit alone. After all, if his own parents and boyfriend couldn't stand being around him, why bother making any friends at all? The homework he had been given was strewn about the table untouched; he felt as if it were mocking him. Dalton had been continuing to send his schoolwork to the clinic and it was like a hard slap of reality. He should be at Dalton doing this work, not in some clinic. He should be with his friends helping them prepare for nationals if they had in fact won Regionals without him. He had faith in his friends, but if they had taken Regionals, that would mean they had beaten Kurt and The New Directions and to him, that didn't seem possible.

He felt a pang in his heart when he thought about Regionals. He should have been there. With all the people he failed, he even failed The Warblers. He was their lead and he failed them. Blaine sighed deeply and let his head fall onto his notebook. Why did this have to happen? This was his senior year and this was not at all how he wanted to be spending it. When he looked back on high school this is what he'd think of...this was such a mess.

"Excuse me?"

The light voice caught Blaine off guard and he jumped up, startled. The voice didn't belong to one of the nurses. No, this voice was a lot more withdrawn, unsure and quiet, very much like his own.

He looked up to see the form of the girl he thought had looked like Kurt the night they'd been brought in. She looked like a better sight to behold since that first night, but she still remained uneasy. Blaine didn't respond, he just merely gazed at the girl wondering what she wanted. Did she want him to leave the table because she wanted it? That wouldn't be fair, Blaine had claimed the table first.

"I-was...well, I saw you sitting here alone and saw that you were working on homework and was wondering if I could join you? But, If you don't want me to, I'm sure I could find somewhere else to-"

Blaine mentally slapped himself. Just because he was in the middle of a pity party shouldn't be a reason to forget his manners.

"No, no, it's all right. Please, take a seat," Blaine responded, moving his school work over so that she could sit down.

She sat down silently with a small smile and placed her books down where Blaine had made space. She opened one of the books and began taking other items out of her bag to work.

"Algebra, the worst," She let out with a dry laugh and fell silent almost immediately as she began. If she wasn't here for a problem Blaine wasn't aware of, he could have sworn she was just shy but he knew there had to be more to it than that.

"I know," Blaine muttered in agreement, "Math isn't my strongest suit."

Blaine was taken aback when she looked up from her school work and proceeded to extend a shaky hand out to him.

"I'm Jillian."

Blaine took the cold hand in his own hesitantly. "Blaine."

The conversation fell silent after that. Blaine took her presence as an opportunity to finally get some work done.

After that, he and Jillian had begun sitting together every night to do their homework together. They had steadily become friends despite their surroundings. He had found that initially Jillian held the same disdain for the place as he had, but after a few therapy sessions she had come to terms with why she had been brought here. Blaine had still been working on that part.

"So Blaine," Jillian had started one night. "What exactly brings you here to this fine establishment?"

Blaine hadn't been expecting that question. He stopped working on his essay about the industrial revolution and gazed up at her in surprise. They had been doing their homework together for a couple of weeks now and neither one of them had brought up the reason why they were here. Blaine still hadn't come to terms on why he'd been sent to the clinic yet whilst she seemed to be accepting why she had been.

"Sorry if the question seems a little off, I was just curious. You just don't seem like someone who would belong here, Blaine. I was just curious of your story."

Blaine had a loss for words. Could he tell her? He didn't even feel comfortable talking about it in therapy and he was supposed to tell her everything. After all, his therapist had been brought here especially for him after the drama with Dr. Karofsky.

"I'm sorry, it's not my place to ask," Jillian spoke quickly, dismissing the conversation. She must have taken his shocked silence as a form of refusal.

"No, I'm sorry, Jillian," Blaine took her hand apologetically. "I just don't even know how to explain it. I'm still not even sure why I'm here; however, as soon as I figure it all out, I promise I'll tell you."

Jillian nodded and they both proceeded to get back to their work in an uncomfortable silence.

After that encounter, Blaine had become a little envious of Jillian's understanding on why she had been brought here, so Blaine had begun working harder to gain a grip of understanding on his own situation. He had gradually become more active in his therapy and had started doing more than sitting in her office and nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders at all her questions.

He had to admit, she was an excellent therapist. Dr. Kayla Wainwright. She was young and full of life as opposed to Blaine's idea of therapists. His therapist before all of this had been the stereotypical "Yes, I see and how do you feel about that?" type. Kayla had been trying to get Blaine to open up and had never demanded anything from him, despite how frustrating Blaine possibly had been to deal with. Blaine was one of her only patients; there were only a handful that had been sent to her once she had been requested for Blaine. Dr. Karofsky was the appointed Doctor of the clinic, but he had a quite the slew of kids to deal with, so a little extra help certainly didn't hurt.

It had been about a month until Jillian had finally asked the question that eventually got him to open up about why he was at the clinic.

"I really love chocolate pudding day," Jillian stated out of nowhere as she shoved a large spoonful of pudding into her mouth.

Blaine chuckled as he took a bite of his chicken. Fridays were what Jillian lovingly referred to as "Chocolate Pudding Day," it was the day that they served all you can eat bowls of chocolate pudding for dessert after dinner as a reward for the end of the week.

"Paul says my love for Chocolate Pudding Day is good for me. Gives me something to look forward to," Jillian explained as she finished her last spoonful and glanced over at the counter with the pudding as she debated about going back for more.

"Mmm," Blaine responded in an uninterested tone as he always did when Dr. Karofsky's name was mentioned. Unfortunately, Jillian had begun to take notice.

"Blaine," She began, setting her spoon down and forgetting the pudding for moment. "What's your problem with Dr. Karofsky? Every time I mention him, you get this look on your face. I know you see Dr. Wainwright and it's no secret that she was brought here right after you showed up. I don't think it's just a coincidence. Is there something more to it than you let on?"

Blaine knew this was coming. They had gone for over a month without talking about what brought them both here and now that time had come.

"After dinner," Blaine responded quietly, as he picked at his chicken.

That night had Blaine in a constant bind of anxiety. He knew he had to tell her, there was no getting out of this. He knew he wasn't comfortable with the idea, but how did he expect to get any better if he couldn't open up about it? He had gotten off the hook easily with Kurt because he had already been informed of most of it. This was going to be the first time he actually had to open up to someone and tell them the whole story. Well, he didn't have to but he knew he needed to.

When dinner was finished, Blaine took Jillian to the table and started to tell her his story. He told her about how he had been kidnapped from Kurt's by David Karofsky, tied up and forced to remain a prisoner in a closet whilst David raped him and tried to convince him that he belonged to him.

"That's awful Blaine," Jillian whispered with her hand to her mouth, her eyes wet with tears as she listened to Blaine talk about what had happened to him.

He continued on to how he had taken a vow of silence, how he had tried to return back to school, how Dave had shot him in a jealous rage, how when it was all over he put on an act trying to convince everyone he was all right whilst he had turned to wrist slashing to deal with the internal struggle.

At the end of all of it, Blaine was in tears crying into Jillian's shoulder.

"Shh, Blaine, it's all right. You're safe now," She murmured running her fingers gently through his hair in an attempt to comfort him.

After Blaine had told Jillian his story he felt as if a huge stone had been lifted from him. He no longer felt as if he was walking around with this huge shameful secret. When he had told her everything, she hadn't turned her back on him in disgust like he had expected her to. Quite the opposite, they had grown closer and she had told him what had brought her to the clinic. She was also a self harmer, but she had begun it because her mother had died in a car accident and she had been sent to live with her perfectionist father.

"Now that I look back on it, I feel silly for even considering harming myself over something so stupid," Jillian had finally admitted after Blaine's story.

"Hey," Blaine began firmly as he reached out and tilted her chin up to look him in the eye. "Don't you say that. No one should dismiss their pain just because something worse might exist. Pain is pain, Jill. Just because there are worse things out there doesn't change the validity of your pain. Don't ever short change how you feel."

After everything was out at last, Blaine and Jillian had become extremely close and spent all their free time together, but it was finally on this very day that she finally had a realization.

"This picture Blaine...have you ever considered becoming an artist? Because seriously, it's damn good," Jillian complimented as she admired the shading and life-like quality of it.

"No," Blaine laughed. "I actually plan to go to New York with my boyfriend once I get out of here. He wants to go into fashion and Broadway and I want to be either a musician or an actor."

"Is this him?" She asked holding up the drawing.

Blaine gazed at the drawing with a smile of adoration. "Yes, that's Kurt. The love of my life."

All of a sudden Jillian looked at the drawing then back to Blaine was wide eyes. "Wait a hot second..." She then placed the drawing down and placed a hand on Blaine's head and slicked his hair back.

"Jill, what are you-"

"Blaine, do you normally wear hair gel? Like before you came here?"

"Uh, yeah, why?" Blaine asked in confusion.

"Oh my god! I knew that you looked familiar!" She squealed.

"What are you talking about, Jill?"

"You were the lead singer of the Dalton Academy Warblers!"

Now Blaine was very confused. They had grown close, but where they had gone to school had never been a subject that they had brought up.

"Yeah, how do you know that?"

"I'm so stupid, I can't believe that I didn't realize it until now, but holy shit. Looking at this drawing, I recognized him instantly. You look different without the hair gel, that's why it's taken me this goddamn long to realize it!"

"Realize what?!" Blaine asked, exasperated. The anticipation was killing him.

"Animal," She said simply.

"Animal? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Hang on to your Bobby Socks, girls, cause we're about to rock your world." She quoted with a huge grin on her face.

"That sounds really familiar, what's that from?" Blaine asked, completely confused as he tried to place the quote.

"You, dummy. In a warehouse where you performed the sexiest musical number to the girls at my school, complete with bubbles, beach balls and this boy who was so adorably clueless about sexual appeal," She giggled.

Realization hit Blaine like a smack in the face.

"You were one of the girls from Crawford Country Day..."

"Holy shit, Blaine, that was you! You were all that the girls would talk about for weeks! Actually, they still talk all about you there. You have like your own fan club. Even though two of my friends gave you their numbers and you told them you bat for the other team!"

"Oh my god, you've got to be kidding me," Blaine laughed and put his face in his hands in embarrassment.

"It was so hot, Blaine. Good lord, I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out! I just can't believe that you're the same guy! My friends won't ever believe this when I get out of here!"

"I'm not sure how much of a catch I'll be when they realize that I was in a mental health clinic," Blaine admitted with a short laugh.

"Oh believe me, they don't judge. They'll be entirely jealous that I got to spend so much time with you."

"This is such a small world."

"So you and Kurt ended up together? That is so sweet! He was adorable! I mean, it was kind of funny, but damn, he was adorable."

"He really is," Blaine admitted looking down at his drawing lovingly.

The quiet from the room was broken when what sounded like a couple of people came in. Even though it had been warmer recently, it was still by no means warm. So hearing people start to come in was hardly a surprise.

Jillian all of a sudden grinned like a huge idiot. She looked ready to jump out of her seat. Blaine raised an eyebrow at her in response.

"Something wrong there, Jill?"

"No, no, not at all," She insisted, the grin still plastered on her face. "So, Blaine, do you think you captured the true essence of Kurt in this drawing?"

"No way. The love and liveliness can't be captured on paper. There is so much in Kurt that can't be captured. There's just so much to him...which is what makes me love him all the more."

That's when a voice stopped his rambling in his tracks.

"Damn, honey, I couldn't have said it any better myself, I mean, I know I'm fabulous but you put my words to shame."

Blaine sat in shock for a moment before he turned around and saw the one person who could make his heart stop in an instant.

"Kurt?"


What a way to leave you, huh? Lol! Lordy, I'm evil. I leave you for months and again, I give you a cliff hanger. Hehehe, it's just how I do, guys. Anyways, we just might have a reunion coming up guys! So I think we'd better prepare ourselves!

So what do we all think? Blaine's got a friend, yay! I think I see progress at last! Anyways, please leave those reviews! They still remain to be fuel. They're all an inspiration to read, so let's make them good! Looking forward to hearing from all of you again! Tis good to be back!

Much love,

-Casey