Oh my goodness, look how unforgivably long it's been! I can't even explain to you how sorry I am! I've been going through a lot, though. Since the last update I started university, moved away from home, got a boyfriend, got pretty much depressed, and now I'm about to drop out of uni, move back home, try to find a full time job and find my own flat, while saving up the whole time so I can go on holiday to Florida next year, so life's pretty busy haha.
I've tried writing this chapter over and over but I've had NO inspiration, but it suddenly just came to me so I thought 'let's just write it before I lose my muse again' XD
Feels like such an accomplishment haha, so I'm hoping the next few chapters come to me easily.
Again, so sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy this chapter (if anyone's still reading).
PASSAGE OF HESITANCE
GROWING UP
It was finally the last day at Hogwarts. It had seemed like they'd been there forever, yet at the same time it had gone so quickly. So many memories in seven years, so much happiness and so much excitement.
As the four of them entered the Great Hall for the end of year party, there was barely a dry eye in the room, and it wasn't only the students. The teachers looked just as sad that they were leaving as they were. Sirius would have never have imagined getting so emotional about leaving, but as he walked through the large doors and into the hall, he felt his something deep within him, that left him feeling extremely sad. He looked over at James, Remus and Peter who all seemed to be mirroring the exact emotions he was feeling.
They sat down in their usual seats at the Gryffindor table for the last time. The Great Hall looked painfully empty as it was only seventh years and the teachers in there. As everyone took their seats, they looked towards the teachers table, awaiting Dumbledore's speech.
The old headmaster stood up, smiling down at all of the seventh years. The twinkling in his eyes reminded Sirius nostalgically of his very first day of Hogwarts when they were all only eleven years old. Oh, how different things had been back then...
He was young, and so innocent. He still lived with his parents. He was still a Black. He shuddered at the memories, and prided himself in that moment that he had actually had the courage to escape from them. He was for sure a true Gryffindor. He remembered the moment the Sorting Hat had put him into Gryffindor and the shock on his own and others faces. He was the very first (and only) Black ever to be in another house other than Slytherin.
He remembered the first time he spoke to James. They had been sitting next to each other, in the very spot they were in right now, and James and Sirius had both gone for the last roast potato. Then they had continued to offer it to each other out of politeness until a young chubby boy by the name of Peter had snatched it from them, resulting in the very beginning of a seven-year friendship between the three of them.
He remembered the first time he spoke to Remus. That was one of the clearest memories in his head. They were getting a tour of the Gryffindor common room from one of the fifth year prefects when Sirius stopped and Remus tripped over landing right in Sirius's arms. At the time it had just been a laugh, and Remus had mumbled an embarrassed "I'm so sorry", while Sirius had just laughed. After a few years, the two had realised how romantic their first meeting was.
Sirius looked over at Remus, and then at James and Peter. He smiled. Despite everything they had been through, they were all still sitting together after seven whole years. If that wasn't a true friendship, what was?
"Good afternoon," Dumbledore said with a warm smile. "I welcome each and every one of you to join the other professors and myself for your final feast at Hogwarts. It has – and I think the other professors can agree – been a wonderful seven years filled with joy, happiness and laughter. We have enjoyed teaching you all and we are all eager to see what you accomplished young witches and wizards will go on to achieve in the next chapter of your life. We hope you will take with you all that you have learned here, and that your friendships with each other will last a lifetime. We want your time at Hogwarts to be a happy memory that you will look back on in fifty years and smile about. Maybe that one detention with Professor Slughorn"- he glanced at Professor Slughorn –"or that Quidditch match that didn't go as planned" – he then glanced at James, who looked slightly embarrassed.
"I wish you all the best for the future and I hope that you will all be safe and careful. Now, you may enjoy this magnificent feast and celebrate your final hours as a Hogwarts student."
##
"This place is AWESOME!" Sirius beamed as he and Peter stood in their new empty flat. It wasn't the biggest place in the world but it was perfect for the two of them.
"We just need some furniture now," Peter said, and Sirius could tell he was just dying to drop down on a sofa and sleep. He nodded.
"Yeah," he said. "I thought Lily was taking care of that for us."
"Well, where is she?"
"I'd rather not think about what she and Prongs are doing in their brand new flat all by themselves," Sirius said, scrunching up his nose in disgust.
"Oh, they're having sex," Peter said, nodding.
Sirius rolled his eyes and patted Peter on the back. "I do wonder how you ever made it this far, Wormy."
Peter looked slightly annoyed. "Well I'm here now, so keep your comments about my stupidness to yourself you smart-ass."
Sirius dodged a playful punch in the arm and threw his hands up. "Look, not my fault I'm a smart-ass. Just deal with it."
"God, and just imagine. I have to live with you for... oh no, it could be forever!" Peter looked horrified.
"You've been living with me since we were eleven," Sirius pointed out. "You know I'm not that bad."
"That's only because we had Moony and Prongs there too to distract you half the time," Peter said, smirking. "You're kind of... annoying, Padfoot."
"Take that back, you rat!"
Peter's body suddenly morphed into a small rat, and Sirius watched as he stood up on two legs, squeaked at him, and ran away. Sirius grinned and transformed into Padfoot, running after Wormtail trying to catch him. It felt good to be able to run free like this, and let go of all human problems.
He chased after his friend and just as he backed him into a corner, Wormtail jumped to the side causing Sirius to crash into the wall and let out a frustrated bark while all he could hear was a manic squeaking from the other side of the room. Oh he was going to pay.
Just as Sirius turned to get his pay-back, the front door opened and Sirius's plans changed. He ran towards James and jumped up to lick his cheek.
"Ew, you disgusting creature!" James yelled, wiping his cheek.
"What's going on? Where are they?" Lily asked, looking warily at Sirius, who was sitting down doing the 'Puppy-dog eyes'.
James sighed and gave Sirius an annoyed look, closing the door. "Maybe you should sit down," he said to Lily.
She laughed. "There's no furniture to sit on."
James looked at Sirius again and nodded. Sirius changed back into a human again, causing Lily to nearly jump out of her skin in shock. Her hand came up to her mouth and she just stared at Sirius.
"Hey Lily," he said sheepishly.
"You're a... no... you can't be... what?!"
Peter must have decided it was his turn, as the rat scurried across the room and suddenly transformed into a human, making Lily squeal in shock.
"Not you too!" she said, pointing at him.
"Guilty," Peter said, smiling slightly.
"Lily, just listen-" James started, but he was interrupted.
"This is illegal! How could you – why would you?" she said, sounding a mixture of angry and curious.
"We only did it for Remus!" Peter said. "We wouldn't have risked something like this for any other reason."
"I don't understand."
"Remus tears himself apart at the Full Moon," Sirius said. "He needed a distraction."
"Fair enough, but that's not worth putting yourselves in danger! I mean Peter, you're only a rat! He could kill you!"
"Werewolves don't attack animals remember, Lil?" James said. "We took that into account when we decided to do this."
She turned to James, eyes wide. "WE?! Don't tell me you're in on this too!"
James flushed and coughed. "Well, yes. Remus is my best friend too."
Lily sighed and shook her head. "You're all crazy I tell you," she said. "Just be careful, please."
"We always are," Sirius said.
"I don't care, be more careful," Lily said, looking at James worriedly. "I can't believe you never told me!"
"I-"
"It doesn't matter!" Lily said, clapping her hands together. "Now you two, let's talk about decorating this flat of yours."
Sirius really didn't care what she did to their flat, as long as it had all the necessary items to live in it happily. He knew Peter felt the same way, but Lily's eyes were bright with excitement.
"I always wanted to be an interior designer when I was young," she explained. "You know, before I found out I was a witch."
"Inferior what?" James said, glancing at Sirius who shrugged to indicate he didn't quite understand either.
"Interior designer," Peter said, rolling his eyes. "It's somebody who designs insides of houses, like with furniture and stuff."
"How boring," Sirius said, receiving a glare from Lily.
"Anyway, I think you should go for a wooden floor in the living room and the hallway, but I want tiles in the bathroom and kitchen, and maybe some nice carpeting in your rooms. Then we have to look at colours! We need the walls and floors to complement each other so, I don't know, how about a red colour for the walls in the living room with a dark wood floor, just to remind you both of your Gryffindor days-"
She went on and on, and Peter and Sirius just nodded and went along with everything Lily said. Sirius had to admit he stopped listening after a minute or so, and as he glanced at Peter he noticed his friend was busy building a card house on the floor, clearly not listening.
##
When Lily was finally gone, and all of the furnishing had been done, Sirius dropped exhaustedly down onto their new sofa. Peter was already sitting in the armchair reading a comic.
"Quit reading," Sirius said. "I'm bored."
"Find something to do, then!" Peter said, not taking his eyes off his comic.
"No."
Silence. Clearly Peter wasn't going to speak.
"I'm bored."
"Yeah, so you told me."
"You sound like Remus!" Sirius said, folding his arms childishly.
"Mmhm," Peter replied.
"What time is dinner?" Sirius asked.
"Whenever you feel like making it."
"I CAN'T COOK!"
More silence.
"WORMTAIL!" Sirius whined, desperately wishing he was back at Hogwarts where the food just appeared on the table.
"What?" Peter sighed, finally looking at Sirius.
"We should get a house elf!" Sirius said excitedly. "Yeah, then neither of us has to cook!"
"We're not getting a house elf, Sirius!" Peter said. "I know I'm lazy as hell but we're not getting a house elf."
"I can just steal one of my family's house elves."
"No, Sirius. We're not some stuck-up pureblood family. We're just two guys who need to learn to live independently. No house elves needed."
"Would you stop sounding like Remus?" Sirius sulked. "I wonder what Remus is doing."
"I wouldn't like to think of what Remus is doing with Will in their new flat when they're all alone," Peter said, mimicking what Sirius had said earlier.
"Oh shut up, you smart-ass!" Sirius said, rolling his eyes.
"So I'm the smart-ass now?"
"Oh yes you are, oh wise one," Sirius said. "You're so smart and cool and you have always been such an idol to me."
"What are you talking about?" Peter asked.
"Yes, you're such an amazing person, Wormy. Honestly."
"Well, thank you Sirius!"
"So maybe you could possibly go and make us – or me – dinner?" Sirius said, smiling very pleasantly at his friend. He watched as Peter smiled back and picked up his comic once more.
"No."
"BUT-"
This was rewarded with a middle finger from Peter.
###
