Chapter 27

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Kenzi asked Bo as she watched the Administrator excitedly adjusting his machines and pulling the wires and cables together while humming something unrecognizable. "Not that I don't support you, Bo-bo bear, but...he looks kinda...crazy," Kenzi whispered.

"I know…" Bo said as she watched the man, "he's...sorta insane, maybe? But who isn't? I just really need to know what has happened in my life, who this Valkyrie was, and why she is messing with us; well, mostly me," Bo said.

"Yeah, I understand, but...what if you go insane?" Kenzi said, worried. "He did say that you may go insane, right?"

"Yeah, he did, and I need him to explain that part more after he gets out of his hyper stage," Bo said, her eyes looking at the man who was now putting all kinds of machine parts together to build something weird.

"As much as I want you to figure all this shit out, I don't want you to go haywire," Kenzi said, hugging Bo.

"I won't Kenzi, I promise," Bo said. "You know me. I'm kinda lucky, like always. Though...if I do go insane and come out drooling and giggling like an idiot..."

"Then I'll make sure you have plenty of adult bibs," Kenzi said in mock sincerity.

Bo could not help but chuckle. Then, she took a deep breath and hugged Kenzi. "Thank you Kenz, for everything you've done for me," she whispered.

"Hey, don't say that like I'm not gonna see you ever again!" Kenzi complained. "Why don't you ask Mr. Tin foil hat there how big a risk you're gonna be taking for getting back your memories?"

"About 50% chance of going insane. It's only a small risk to take for restoring your memories. Nothing to worry about really. I wouldn't if I were you," the man answered before Bo even asked the question.

"But, you were pretty serious asking me just minutes ago if I wished to proceed !" Bo complained, "and now—you are telling me not to worry?"

"I was just being dramatic," the man winked at her as he plugged in all kinds of cables to one machine. Then, he frowned at it, before he unplugged all of them and switched their positions. His hand movements were so swift that Bo almost thought the cables were alive.

"So, there's 50% chance I will go insane, if I do this," Bo reiterated.

"Yes. In order to restore your memory links, I have to download something into your brain first, which can cause an overloading issue, and you brain may or may not be able to handle it..." the man mumbled.

"What are you gonna download into my brain? And what do you mean by overloading?"

The man stopped what he was doing and straightened himself up. He stared at Bo with his lips curled, as if he was trying to figure out a way to explain to Bo. "I need to download the Valkyrie's memory to analyze it, so I can figure out which pieces of memories are unlinked in your brain, because there are correlations between your memory and her memory...and I need to download it through your brain, but since it's someone else's memory, your brain may not be able to handle it—it's like pushing a square block through a triangular tunnel, sometimes it gets through, sometimes it crushes the tunnel because...well, the shapes simply don't match..."

"Ok, so you are going to download that Valkyrie's memory through my brain...and, do you care to explain where you are downloading it from? The PirateBay? And, where are you downloading it to?"

"From the Memory Fae who erased the memories for her, of course," the man said, as if he found what Bo had just said ridiculous. "And, of course, download it to my machine here," he patted the weird machine right beside him.

"Ok..." Bo replied, her eyes open wide. She felt like she had a million questions, but every time she asked one, ten more would pop up. After thinking for a while, she decided not to ask anything, and let it play itself out.

"Well, whatever you say, I'll do it," Bo said, "as long as you can really restore my memories."

"Oh, of course I can, dear," the man said while adjusting the machine. Then, he went into a trance, mumbling things that Bo could not understand. Bo took a glance at the machine, but she could not figure out what the machine could possibly be. She thought it might be some sort of computer, but there was no monitor of any kind. Then, there were a lot of cables and wires entangled together, with electrodes attached on the side. To her, it looked like some alien technology out of a sci-fi movies.

After a while, the man suddenly said, "Ok, I think this should work...this should work..."

"Should? As in—you are not sure if it will work?" Bo asked, frowning.

"No, I mean, yes, I mean...well, technically, theoretically, it's gonna work, but my theory has never been tested before…"

"And, you are just gonna try something on me that has never been tested before on me?"

"Well, my dear, not everyone is as brave as you are," the man said, "or shall I say, that word starts with an S..."

"You've never even done this before?!" Bo exclaimed in anger. "Then, what about all that 50% chance of not going insane part?!"

"Carefully calculated by definitely correct formulas," the administrator said, with a hint of embarrassment. "There's absolutely no more than a 50% chance of you going insane, or maybe no more than 60%...no, it's definitely 50%..."

"Maybe we should leave..." Kenzi whispered to Bo, "we don't even know if this guy's brain is functioning normally..."

Bo let out a deep breath. She sat there and thought about what Kenzi said. She knew the man did not look reliable at all, but she just needed to get her memories back so badly.

"Let's see how it plays out, Kenzi," she finally said, "and if he tries anything weird, hit him in the head."

Kenzi wanted to say something, but before she did, the man turned around and pointed at Bo, "You. Go lay down on the bed."

"I hope that's not your pick up line, 'cause I think you'd get a smack on your face for that." Bo rolled her eyes as she walked to the side of the bed. Before she lay down, she frowned a little at the messy bed of some man she barely knew. She sighed with relief when she realized that it was actually clean and still had the scent of laundry detergent.

"What now?" Bo asked.

"Now...let's put these things on you," the man said as he attached some wires to Bo's forehead and chest.

"And, these things are gonna help me remember?" Bo asked, trying hard not to think about that hand touching her chest.

"Oh, no, no," the man shook his head, "those are just for monitoring your condition, like your heartbeat, your breath and such."

"Then, what about the memory part?"

"For that, we are using this," the man said with a smile on his face, as he raised his hand that was holding a thick cable that had a long, sharp needle on its end.

"Hold on there!" Kenzi said, grabbing his arm before he probed the needle into the back of Bo's head. "For the record, we didn't agree on poking of any kind..."

"Then, how am I gonna connect her brain to my machine?" the man said in an angry voice, "I am not a magician!"

"Just let him, Kenz," Bo said, shaking her head. She had no idea what that needle would do to her, but she figured since she had come along this far, she might as well just buckle herself up and endure the rest of the ride.

"Don't worry. You'll just feel a little cold sensation," the man said as he carefully inserted the long needle into the back of Bo's head.

A cold rush seized Bo. To her, it felt like someone had just poured icy water into her brain. She shivered and squeezed Kenzi's hand.

"What next?" she panted.

"Now, it's my magic time," the Administrator said as he pressed his hand on the machine. Kenzi was awed when she saw the machine suddenly emit a purplish blue color, and it looked like the man became part of the machine. The man laughed, his hands shaking. He let the energy run through his body, as if he was feeding off it.

"What kinda Fae are you?" Kenzi asked.

"Oh, just a humble Fae who can trace the energy of memories through his brilliant machines," the man said, "and now I am going to hack into the Memory Fae system of Valkyrie rebirth temples and dig your memories out for you."

"That...sounds...great..." Bo murmured. She felt energy running through her brain, and it was almost little bit more than she could handle. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, fighting against the urge to pull the needle out and run away.

"Now, in order for me to locate the exact Memory Fae who erased the links in your brain, I need you—to think," the man said, staring at Bo. "Think back, think really hard, think about those memories you thought were lost, think about those tinted, vague, blurred images. Once I have enough, I'll be able to cluster them and to search for correlated ones in the Memory Faes."

"Ok..." Bo murmured. Her mind went back to her father's place. She thought about the dead underfae and monsters she had killed. She thought about the argument between her and her father, although she could not remember a word of it. She thought about her father's face and his vague voice, yet somehow she knew if she saw him again, she would be able to recognize him. She tried hard to remember everything she could, like how she had gotten there, or who she had been with, but it was all too vague to remember. Then she thought about that Valkyrie, whom she never knew existed, but she was convinced now that the Valkyrie had been there with her.

"Hold on...I'm getting something..." the man said as his arms trembled on the machine, "I think I know which Memory Fae erased those links of yours..."

"Well great, now get them back!" Bo exclaimed.

"Oh, I'm afraid it's gonna take a lot more than that," the man said. "See, in order to restore your links, I have to first find those memories in your brain, but you don't even know where they are..."

"Then what are you suggesting?"

"A reverse search," the man said, "first, I use the memories I just gathered to locate the Valkyrie's memories in the Memory Fae, which is fairly easy because the only thing I have to do is compare the time and place tags with all memories in the Memory Fae—an exhaustive search—then, since the memories of Valkyries are divided block by block in the Memory Fae, I can extract all of them at once and download them through you. Then, I will analyze her memories, and find correlated ones in your brain according to the time and place tags, to restores yours..."

"I think you've lost me at the first time and place tags, but whatever. Do what you need to do," Bo said impatiently.

"Ok, finally consent," the man said, his eyes boring into Bo's, "are you aware of, and willing to take, the risk of going insane because of the overloading issue that may or may not occur due to someone else's memory being downloaded through your mind?"

"Yes, you have my consent," Bo said, "and if I do go insane, I'll send you the bills for my medical care."

"Ok, here's the next step," the man said, "which is the trickiest part of this process. I am going to create a stream of memory energy for you and send it to the temple. It will the same type of energy stream as a Valkyrie who enters the temple after her death. Usually it's called a soul. If we do this right, we can fool the Memory Fae, letting her think that you are a dead Valkyrie, waiting to be reborn."

"Holy shit balls dude! That's like fucking Matrix shit..." Kenzi exclaimed as he slapped the man on his arm. Then, she turned to Bo and cleared her throat. "I mean, that's pretty average and kinda crazy," she added.

"Ok, so now I'm gonna be disguised as a Valkyrie, virtually, is that what you are talking about?" Bo asked, "Just to be clear, I don't have to die for you to create that soul, right?"

"Oh, no absolutely not," the man said, "I am just going to create one for you, like creating a high dimensional model."

"And what happens next, after you create my...my soul?"

"You will be able to see what your soul sees, hear what your soul hears. It's like your avatar in the memory temple. You will feel like you are actually there. Now, I am not 100% sure about what will happen there, but one thing I do know is, in order to complete the memory absorbing procedure, the Memory Fae has to create a physical link with your—soul. Don't panic, let him or her go through with it. When the link is established, signal me with a finger snapping, and I will start to download."

"Can we really fool the Memory Fae? I mean, I am not a Valkyrie."

"Well, let's hope that your cover doesn't get blown before I complete the downloading, Ok?" the man said. "Close your eyes."

Bo did as he said. A stream of energy ran through her, and she felt something weird, like something had been pushed out her body, or her brain. Then, she heard Kenzi yelling, and she opened her eyes. To her surprise, she saw an image of herself floating in the air, or rather, a blonde woman who looked somewhat like her. If it wasn't for the talk she just had with the man, she would have thought it was real person flying in the air. After a few seconds, the image disappeared.

"Whoa where did she go?" Kenzi asked.

"Followed the stream of memory energy, to the temple, of course," the man said. Then, he turned to Bo and said, "You. Close your eyes, focus, concentrate ."

Bo sighed and nodded, closing her eyes. After a bit of vertigo, she found herself in a gloomy place. The only light came from a few torches that lined the four walls. She saw a pool in the center of the temple, filled with light purple liquid.

Holy shit we did it, Bo thought. And, this is so real, I can even feel the cold wind breezing through the place. She stared at the liquid for a second or two before she turned around and saw someone standing right behind her.

Don't panic. Don't freak out, Bo told herself when she found a little girl Fae standing there. She was half transparent, with some bluish liquid flowing through vein-like structure inside her body. Her hair, so thin and long, looked silver and seemed to be moving, like millions of synapses.

"Welcome to the rebirth process. This is RebirthTemple number three," the girl said to Bo, with her head slightly tilted to one side. Her voice was emotionless, her tone flat.

Shit. I didn't know there would be conversation involved, Bo thought. She froze there, not sure what she should say.

"Valkyrie ID process failed," the girl said in a light voice. "First time at rebirth?"

Bo wasn't sure if she should talk. She just smiled and merely nodded at the girl.

"Lie down in the pool," the girl demanded, "and breathe."

Great. Bo thought as she emerged herself into the liquid. She held her breath, thinking about what the Memory Fae meant by breathe. Then, she felt the liquid forced into her body, down her throat, and into her nose. She choked and coughed, but after a few seconds, she realized that she could breathe in the liquid. She calmed down and lay against the bottom of the pool.

"So what memories are you keeping, and what memories are you removing today?" the girl asked in a light voice, as her body floated on top of Bo's. Her hair grew out like the tentacles of an octopus, and they all entangled with Bo's hair. Feeling those things going through her scalp, entering her brain, made Bo quiver and she took a deep breath while snapping her fingers.

Suddenly, everything she felt, or heard, or saw was not important anymore. The Memory Fae's voice sounded like some dreamy murmur, and the lights in the temple looked so distant, that they were barely visible anymorel. Bo felt something running through her brain, something that had never belonged to her. She felt sick, like she had been twirling around in a circle for a long time.

Then, Bo heard the Administrator's voice saying ,"Found it. Downloading now". That dizzy feeling just exploded inside her. She gasped, trying with all her might not to scream, or to run away.

After a few seconds, or a few centuries, Bo saw, what seemed to be, light glaring off a windshield at night, and she could hear vague, soft music playing in the background. She soon realized she was sitting in a truck with her hand pressed against the steering wheel, and a small, empty vodka bottle tangling between her fingers.

It took Bo a while to figure out that it was not her memory, but someone else's. She figured it was that Valkyrie's. It was beyond strange, to experience another person's memory. Bo could feel the cold night air leaking through the window. She could also smell the vodka on her lips, or the Valkyrie's lips. She could see fast food wrappers and empty drink cups scattered in the truck, with some blankets and jackets carelessly tossed on the passenger seat. Then, she saw a photo in her right hand, or rather, the Valkyrie's right hand. It was a photo of her.

It was then that Bo noticed a strong feeling in her heart, something painful, and overwhelming. Something extraordinarily sentimental, like the feeling of wanting something, or someone, more than anything, but not able to have it. When she heard the Valkyrie murmuring her name: Bo, a bittersweet feeling exploded inside her.

Bo tried hard to recall where she had heard that voice before. It sounded so familiar, but she just couldn't figure out who it belonged to. Just as she was digesting that strong feeling running through her heart, she found herself in her own kitchen, kissing herself.

Whoa that was super weird, Bo thought. As she was drowning in the kiss, she could feel a steady stream of arousal running through her body, but then that painful, sad feeling occupied her heart. She smelled vodka on her lips, or the Valkyrie's lips, or whoever's lips. She knew it was not her own memory because those feelings were too strong for her to forget.

Then, everything started to become a blur again, like a movie on fast forward, each frame of memory was jumping out faster and faster to the next, so fast that she could not process. She thought she saw monsters, blood and tears, but she could not get a grasp on what was happening. Sorrow and desperation kept seizing her vulnerable heart. They pounded inside, consuming her, devouring her. She could not help but scream.

Bo felt the Memory Fae flinch and start to withdraw her synapses. Then the little girl stared at her for a few seconds, before she stood up in the pool and repeated, "Security breach. Security breach. System shutting down. System shutting down. Twenty, nineteen..."

"Oh no...don't shut down!" Bo exclaimed as she sat up in the pool. She fought against the exploding feelings in her heart, while trying to grab the Memory Fae to maintain the link between them. Before she could stop her, the little girl went into a trance while counting down, and then her eyes closed. The synapses stopped floating in the air, like they were dead, and the bluish liquid that had been running through her body was now still, like it was frozen.

Bo fell back to the pool, screaming again because she could no longer handle the memories that did not belong to her. Images and feelings flooded through her brain and her veins, making her want to strangle herself. It felt like pure anguish, and she thought her head was about to explode any minute now.

"Abort, abort!" she screamed, yet she could not even hear herself. She repeated the same thing over and over again, until she blacked out.