Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse...

Damien Rice's- "9 Crimes"


"…Got any twos?"

Itachi's eyes blinked as Ryik's voice brought him out of the sunny illusion. "Uh...I don't think so."

Ryik shrugged and picked up another card. Their little game of Go Fish was a no-go thanks to Itachi's inability to listen. "How about an Ace?"

"No." Itachi sighed, his fingers itching to pick up the cards but not having the strength to.

Ryik looked down at Itachi's barely touched pile of playing cards. "You not even looking at them!"

Itachi pushed the deck to the side. "Ryik, I'm numb from the neck down from all those freaking pain killers..." he swallowed his aggression; Ryik didn't deserve it, not after all he had done. "I'm just not feeling it right now, okay?"

Ryik threw the cards. "Whatever."

"Ryik please don't be like that." Itachi begged. He turned on his side as best as he could, but found it to be a waste when he saw that Ryik had turned his back to him. "Come on..." he sought out the most corniest word in the back of his mind that would give him Ryik's attention back. "Buddy?"

Ryik gave Itachi a slight perplexed glance but decided he was worth the effort to completely acknowledge.

Itachi groaned and looked for more conversation to look into. He and Ryik both had the same thought on their minds, but both were almost too scared to bring it up.

"...How do you think Anko's doing."

Ryik uncurled slightly. "...I really don't want to know."

"Ryik," Itachi began, ready to scold him for his lack of compassion. "What is going on with you? Ever since we got back, you've been moody, and angry, and just a plain ass."

"Like you's really the one to talk!" Ryik exclaimed. "You-"

"Knock knock!" came a sickeningly cheerful voice outside of the hall.

Ryik growled as the door opened, but his expression went blank when he saw a beaming Iruka pushing a tired-looking Anko into the room using a wheelchair.

"Someone wanted to pay you a visit." He shrilled, smiling down at Anko.

Itachi sat up, despite how his body screamed at him not to. His eyes widened at Anko's drained, yet, beautiful appearance. The white she was clothed in made her look so much paler, causing her purple tresses to give off a mirage of raven- black wings flowing down her face. She looked like a dying angel.

"H-hi Anko." he coughed.

Anko gave him a slight nod, her eyes sending him a discreet message as Iruka parked her in-between Ryik's and Itachi's beds. He just stood there then, as if he could really be a part of the situation the three of them shared; as if he were one of them.

"Um, Iruka," Anko stated quietly. "I'm kind of thirsty. Do you think you could go downstairs and get me a soda or something?"

"Or something." Iruka agreed, that too happy grin still glued to his face. "You're not having anything stronger that ice water until you're out of this hospital."

Anko stuck her tongue out at him as he left. "I'll be your fault if I die then." She called. Making sure he was gone, she jumped out of her wheelchair and closed the door. She sighed in relief. "I am this close to taking out a restraining order on that loon."

Itachi smiled lightly. He was more than glad to see Anko in such a good mood after all that had happened just two days ago. "He's just trying to help." Itachi commented.

"I didn't ask for it." Anko spat with malice.

Ryik rolled over in his bed, his sleepy eyes adjusting to Anko's whiteness.

Anko noticed the movement's next to her and looked up, smiling sisterly at the abnormally quiet boy.

Ryik hid under the blankets quickly, wishing he could hide from a lot more than just Anko Mitarashi.

"What's with him?" Anko whispered to Itachi.

The Uchiha gulped. "Uh...just stuff. You know, they got him on all of that medication so he's sort of out of it."

Ryik peeked out from under the sheets and shot Itachi a glare while Anko's back what still turned.

Itachi gave him a "Shut the fuck up" look and gave his attention back to Anko.

"How are you holding up?" she whispered quietly as she played with the loose bandages on her hands.

"Um...a little sore. You?"

I was raped, what do you think?

Anko's lips trembled and she covered her eyes. "Itachi, I think I'm losing my mind."

Itachi sat up slightly. "Orochimaru?"

She removed the fresh tears as they began to fall, but more and more took their place. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I was so angry at him when he left, but then when I thought I was going to have to kill him, I was scared out of my wits. But I don't know what I feel now! I'm in so much pain but I'm too numb to feel it! Why do I feel this way about him?"

Itachi shushed her gently. "Anko, this place is loaded with monitors, pack it down."

"Don't you fucking tell me to shut up!" Anko screamed, jumping from her wheelchair and hovering over Itachi in a dangerous position.

"I-I'm not!" Itachi defended. "I just-"

"He's just fucking looking after you!"

The two looked up to see Ryik glaring at them. At her. "All he trying to do is help you feel better, but all you do is threaten him, just like you did with what's his name, me, and even that back-stabbing son of a snake Orochimaru!"

Anko's expression went cold and she stepped away from Itachi to hear the rest of Ryik's outburst.

"We care about you Anko-girl. Hell, I love you. But you's too damn bitter, and selfish to see it!"

Anko gasped. "That's not...at least I don't think..."

Ryik scoffed and threw the blankets back over himself. "I can't even look at you right now. You disgust me."

"Ryik!" Itachi exclaimed.

Anko slammed her hand on the wall, her eyes cast down. "Is...that you got to say?"

Itachi flinched at the ice smoldering her tone. He gulped and silently prayed that Anko wasn't on too much medication that she couldn't keep her cool.

Her graceful chin lifted, revealing a sad smile drowned out by glistening pools of chocolate. "Okay then." she whispered, limping to the door.

"Anko!" Itachi called, sitting up the best he could. "Anko he didn't mean it!"

His words meant nothing to her.

He shot a glare at Ryik's crescent-bent back. "You son of a bitch!" His anger continued to flow out in word form, and be didn't know what he had to say to make himself stop. "How dare you talk to Anko like that! She's been through enough as it is and you had to spit all that trash at her when you know none of it is true! What the Hell is wrong with you Katzan!"

The small mass that was Ryik remained unmoving.

"Answer me!" he screamed, throwing the covers to the end of the bed and slumping over to Ryik. He revealed him and grabbed him by the collar and shook him. "Why Ryik? Why are you acting this way? What the Hell is wrong with you?" He continued to stare into Ryik's impassive eyes. Those were not his by no means.

"Itachi?"

Itachi looked up to see Iruka standing at the door way with three cups in his hands and a confused expression on his face.

"Where's Anko?"

Itachi looked away. "She left. I don't know where she went."

Iruka nodded and set two of the three cups on the table before jogging off.

Itachi released Ryik, a wave of exhaustion weakening him. All he wanted to do now was just curl up in a ball and sleep, only to wake up and find everything as it should be.

"Do you hate me?" Ryik whispered out of the blue.

Now Itachi was the one who wouldn't answer.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Iruka checked room after room but could not find Anko. He hoped she had enough sense to stay inside the hospital in case she passed out and needed assistance. But it was Anko after all.

He looked out a window and searched the grounds, just as he was about to turn away, a white figure with dark hair that stood out from every other aspect of its body shot out of the doors, running towards the Hokage building.

"Thank God." Iruka whispered.

.,.,.

"Look, I just need to see him for a second." Anko begged.

The receptionist straightened a stack of papers, her eyes never landing on Anko. "I'm sorry miss but Lord Hokage is in the middle of a very important meeting. Unless it is urgent business, you'll just have to wait."

"This is damn urgent!" Anko hissed.

For the first time, her eyes lifted. They widened when she saw Anko's white hospital dress and her lips pulsed in to keep her from commenting. After a few seconds, she looked away and picked up a phone. "Security, please report to the front desk."

"You bitch!" Anko howled, reaching for her neck. Just as she got halfway over the desk, two pairs of strong hands grabbed her arms. "That's enough girl." A gruff voice mumbled.

"Let go!" she screamed. She struggled the best she could but her injuries practically maimed her from fighting back. "HIRUZEN!" she hollered in hopes that her commotion would reach the Hokage. "HIRUZEN HELP!"

"Wait!"

The men stopped and Anko looked up to see Iruka jogging towards her. "I'm very sorry." he panted. "I'll take it from here."

The men began to release her but had to grip on to her harder when she tried to dodge off in the opposite direction. "HIRUZEN! LORD HOKAGE!" The men finally threw her to Iruka, who caught her with ease. "Keep her."

Iruka stared in shock at Anko's panting form. His Anko. He glared up at the men, the intention of killing them in his eyes. "You bast-"

"What in the devil is going on here?"

All eyes turned to a flaming Hokage who stared at the people with disapproval.

"Well?"

Anko jumped up. "I need a release form, pronto."

Iruka stepped in front of her, "I'm sorry Lord Hokage, she-"

"Iruka," The Third spoke as he signaled for him to step aside. "if you please..."

Iruka obeyed, but stayed very close to Anko.

Anko continued, breathless. "Please, Lord Hokage, I need to get out of the Hospital..."

The Hokage sighed and stepped forward. "I'm sorry Anko, but-"

"Please!" Anko begged, running up to him and gripping his are with strength that shouldn't have belonged to someone in her state. "I'll stay at home for as long as you want me to, Hell I won't even leave my room just please get me out of that Hell of that psyche ward!"

Hiruzen looked down at the bandaged hand gripping him. She was shaking. He met her eyes and melted. "All right," he sighed in defeat. "But I will hold you to your word about staying inside for the next week or so."

Anko sighed tiredly. "Thanks…" Her balance gave out and she collided into the elderly man's arms.

"Anko!" Iruka gasped, automatically at her side.

"It's all right." The Hokage reassured, placing Anko's limp body on a bench behind him. He looked up at the persons watching him. One sharp throat clearing sent them scurrying back to work. He smirked and nodded to Iruka. "When she wakes up, her form should be ready, take her home."

"Yes sir." Iruka whispered. He bowed stiffly. "Thank you so much." He flopped down beside Anko. "You owe me one Anko." he whispered to her out-cold form. His eyes traveled over her skin, goose-bumpy and cold due to the flimsy hospital gown. She was covered with bruises and other strange markings, Orochimaru's doing no doubt. She was in a lot of pain, and the whole world was able to see; she wouldn't like that. Thinking quickly, he shrugged off his jacket and covered her. Satisfied, he lent back and watched her unsteady breathing. No matter how much pain she was in, she was still an amazing person.

He sat still to await her release papers. "Don't worry Anko, I'll take good care of you."

.,.,.,.,.,.

"Ah! Freedom!" Iruka exclaimed as he practically carried Anko out of the hospital.

She removed herself from his grip, but didn't get far though due to her injuries, which he was thankful for since the last two nights of sleeping on hospital benches and floors alike had caught up to him. As much as he hated it, the thought of his soft bed sounded more delightful than spending unnecessary time with Anko. However, he'd grin and bear it as long as possible.

"You want to stop somewhere and get something to eat?" he suggested as he caught up with Anko. "I know hospital food isn't exactly your favorite." His smile fell when he saw the washed-out, miserable expression on Anko's face.

"Not hungry." Anko whispered quietly.

Iruka looked away, able to face the humble side of Anko. He tried again. "How about just some tea at your place?"

They reached the apartment complex. Anko trudged tiredly up the steps. "You go ahead." She entered her apartment, paying no mind to the man following her nor the surroundings around her. She went straight to her room, flopping down face-first into the crisp sheets. Her hard breathing was muffled by the pillow; she stayed just like that. She wanted to sleep forever, sleep in the suffocating hot fabric and forget her life. Forget everything and anyone.

A knock. "Anko?"

She took her time responding. What could be so important that she needed to use what little effort she had left? "Hmm?"

Iruka cautiously stepped forward, unsure if Anko would try to kill him for invading her space in her delicate condition. "I want to run home and get a few things done, do you think you'll be okay for about an hour or so?"

"Don't worry." Anko said through the fabric. "I won't be moving anytime soon."

"Okay." Iruka laughed. He lifted a hand over her head, hesitatingly patting it. "Get some rest."

"Eh."

He left, keeping his eyes on her until the doorway blocked his range of sight.

Hearing the door close, Anko finally looked up. Her room was cleaner, probably Iruka's doing.

Dark walls. Just focus on the walls and it will all be over.

A sob racked at her throat as the painful memories started to sink back in.

(Hospital medicine losses its magic when you leave the castle.)

She turned on her back, her hazy eyes tracing the smudged markings on the ceiling. Smudges like the ones on his peeling face.

He wouldn't stop thrusting, or laughing. Rape was not something to laugh about. She tried to focus on something else, the walls, the ceiling, anything to block out that horrible face. But he was right in front on her.

She curled up and covered her quiet screams. The whole process was so filthy and excruciating, tainting.

"You can scream if you want. I won't stop you. By the way you're shaking, I'd think you were dying to…"

She pulled at the sides of her hair, wanting to snatch it out. She was dying. Still dying. She reached for the light blanket below her and pulled it over her head. She wiped a stream off of her cheek, taking in a deep breath to calm her sorrow.

She was sick of crying, sick of crying over him. But what else could she do?

Something in the back of her mind began to swirl at the smell that radiated off the sheets. Floral? Yes but…something else…

It slapped her. She was in the bed they had been in several times before. His stench was still embedded deep in the stitches of the fabric.

She rolled out of the bed, crawling to the edge of the room. She covered her nose and mouth in an attempt to clear the smell away, but even in her own home, when he was nowhere near her, he was still everywhere. She gasped, throwing herself up and tripping her way into the bathroom. She fell into the shower, barely feeling the aftermath of the fall, and turned on the hot water. Her energy ran down the drain with the water, with her life. Maybe this was a quicker way to die. After all, why should she live?

She was broken. He had corrupted her by taking one of the final pieces of dignity she had left and crushing it to dust. He had control over her state of mind now, over her nightmares and deepest thoughts. He had her wrapped so damn tight around his finger it hurt.

And she did not want that.

But he was dead, right? The dead didn't have that kind of control.

"Orochimaru is dead...I killed him. I killed Sensai. I killed a monster. I killed Orochimaru."

She would lay there on the shower floor and die. At least she'd be clean when they found her.

A rhythm of heavy footsteps danced into her room, but Anko's conscious thoughts did little to acknowledge them. They became louder to the point where her eardrums went numb. There was a pair of black Shinobi sandals in her sight. She trailed up the buff legs, the broad chest, and the impassive expression until she met the worried but dark eyes of a familiar friend, Jiraiya.

"What are you doing?" he spoke in a soft tone.

Anko smiled delusional, pointing at the water. "They look like crystals." Anko whispered.

Jiraiya sighed and reached over to turn off the water, crouching down and scooping up Anko's limp body.

"Are you still angry?" She murmured against his chest.

"A little," Jiraiya sighed, laying her down on the bed. He grazed her soak, damaged form with pity. "But it's not at you anymore."

She frowned. He wasn't worth staying awake over.

Jiraiya watched her sleep for what seemed like hours. She was at peace for this small amount of time, and he couldn't be more thankful. She deserved all the peace in the world after what had happened to her. He clenched his fists when he recalled the information he had learned earlier about Anko's time in Orochimaru's clutches. He stood and left the room as quickly as possible, unable to look at Anko anymore.

.,.,.

She awoke a few hours later, slightly more refreshed, but still just as sore and miserable as she was when she blacked out in the shower. Despite herself, she got up to the bathroom in search for pain killers. She hated the little white habit-starters, but she'd do anything to numb those sick feelings. Anything.

When she entered, one of the first things she noticed was the fixed mirror on the wall. She broke that when...she thought Orochimaru left her...

Only one person would do something to this. Iruka. He was taking care of her all of a sudden, like she was some kind of starving puppy that came to his porch for scraps.

She had half a mind to break it again, just to piss him off. But she threw the idea in the recycle basket. She needed what was inside the glass mirror to have the strength to go through with it. He opened it, but was disheveled to see a half empty bottle of peroxide and a few other items that were not her desired medicine. She grimaced and sauntered to the kitchen, hoping that she had been foolish and left it in a cabinet or something. Before she had a chance to search, she was greeted by a gruff voice.

"Sleep well?"

Anko jumped, her heart coming to a halt when she saw a shadowy figure in the corner of the room. "Orochimaru?" Her throat was dry, and her words were inheritable.

There was a chuckle, and then the figure stepped into the orange sunlight, revealing his true self. "Didn't mean to startle you kiddo'".

Anko almost fainted with relief. "Well you did..."

They were quiet for a while, trying to think past the intense shout-down they had just two days ago.

"Um...what's up? You know, why are you here?"

Jiraiya sat back down with a slam, his bloodshot eyes staring at her with an anguished haze. He did not want to do this, but he had to. For his own sanity. "There's something...very important I need to know."

Anko alertly stepped up to him, taking the second chair at her table, and pushing it as far away as Jiraiya as possible. She knew something was about to go down, and based on their sizes, she was not going to win if it became physical. "Shoot."

He reached into his vest, and pulled out a manila folder, throwing it carelessly on the table and opening it.

"What's that?" Anko questioned, although she could care less.

"The report from your last mission."

Anko looked away, not wanting him to see the look in her eyes.

Orochimaru is dead. I killed him. I was angry, I hated him, but I didn't want him to die.

"I have Ryik Katzan's and Itachi Uchiha's statements in here, as well as my own, now I just need yours."

Anko flinched. She should have been thinking of a believable cover-up story rather than different ways to kill herself! "Um..." she fiddled with her fingers under the table. "What do you want to know?"

Jiraiya was direct. "What happened after Orochimaru took you away?"

Sex.

Blood.

Sex.

Pain.

Tears.

He's dead. He's dead because I agreed to that damn mission.

Anko gulped. "I..." she tried to keep her voice straight and professional, but it was already cracking. She was cracking. "I don't remember."

I need those pills.

Jiraiya spun the pen in his fingers. "Really?"

Anko glared at him. "If you're interrogating me, quit it. We can go down town for that."

"I'm not interrogating you Anko, I'm just asking a simple question." His eyes darkened. "Do you have any contemplation about what happened after Orochimaru took you back to his lair?"

Anko couldn't hide it all from him. "I was injured..."

Just lie.

"But one of Orochimaru's subordinates healed me, and then he left me alone with him…"

Jiraiya squeezed the pen. "And?"

"Who's the pathetic one now, Anko?"

"I don't know." Anko said quickly. "All I remember is escaping and breaking Ryik and Itachi out before getting the Hell out of there."

Jiraiya growled and slammed the pen down. "Anko, just tell me the truth!"

Anko stared at him strangely. "What are you talking about, this is the truth."

Jiraiya searched through the papers and dragged out a packet of stapled papers. "You're not telling me everything."

Anko snatched up the paper and grazed over it, expecting some kind of statement from Ryik or Itachi ratting on her. But there were two bold words that made her mind spin out of control.

Rape Kit.

Anko's horror filled eyes looked up to Jiraiya.

Did he know?

"What is this?" she squeaked.

"Your medical results." Jiraiya spoke. "The hospital ran a full examination on you while you were in a coma. When they reported the bruises, broken bones...and the strange marks all over your body, Lord Third ordered a thoroughly search of your stature..." His eyes lifted, his body followed. He slowly circled around her chair and placed his large hands on the back on her chair, sliding it up to his chest.

Anko's shaky hands clasped tightly together. How many pain killers would it take to kill off this fear?

Please don't make me remember.

"You and I both know Orochimaru is a total bastard, but I want to believe that there is something else under that monster of a man." His hands squeezed the wood. "Anko, please tell me he didn't hurt you in that way."

Anko's head slumped forward.

He did.

Jiraiya watched her still head for a long time, just praying she'd say something normal or cocky, anything to let him know everything was all right.

"Of course not, he wouldn't stand a chance against me."

"Me? With that old man? Don't be an idiot Toad-breath."

But she never said anything, just sat there with her head bowed in shame.

Jiraiya stepped back with a heated growl, pacing anxiously around the room. "Why? Fucking why?"

Anko flinched when Jiraiya swept an array of glass containers off of her counter. She'd let him destroy whatever he wanted, just as long as she didn't have to tell him about him and what she had done. Think about it.

"Why did you fucking do it?"

Anko glanced at him with a confused expression mingled in her eyebrows. "What?"

"Why did you take the damn mission? We both know you didn't want to do it, so why?"

Anko shot up, her agony and guilt turning into anger. "What the Hell are you yelling at me for? You know I didn't have a choice!"

"You should have declined; no one would have held it against you!" He gripped the counter-top, unable to cool the molten hatred in his heart. "You weren't supposed to do it..." he growled, a comment that was only suppose to be heard by him, but was picked up by Anko.

"What are you talking about?"

Jiraiya looked down, cursing himself for letting the cat out of the bag.

Anko trotted up behind him, putting a warning hand on his shoulder. "Jiraiya, answer me."

Jiraiya slapped her hand away."I didn't think you would do it, I was hoping you wouldn't want to take the mission." Jiraiya seethed.

Anko stepped away from him, repulsed. "You…thought I was going to chicken out?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Orochimaru did leave behind a coward after all."

Anko's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe he'd say those kinds of things to her, and after all the years they had spent consoling each other over the very man who was causing them so much pain. She wiped the stray tears from her eyes and set a glare on Jiraiya's back. "Like you're really the one to talk."

Jiraiya's head ever so slightly turned.

"You left after he betrayed us! You ran away so that you didn't have to deal with the mess he left behind! I stayed! I fought! I am not a coward Jiraiya, you are!"

Jiraiya shot around, grabbing the collar of her shirt. "You think I was running away? You think I didn't want to deal with it?" He shook her with each word that came out of his mouth. "You are dead wrong Anko Mitarashi! I left to stop him, so that you or no one else would have to! Everything I've ever done has been for the village or for your own fucked-up state of mind!" He threw her down, placing his foot in the center of her chest. Her glassy eyes met his. "And every mistake you've ever made has been because of your own stupidity. You were raped because you fucked up."

A tear slid down Anko's wide eyes. Everyone she knew was changing on her, metamorphosing into something that hated her. Why did it have to hit Jiraiya of all people?

He stomped away, leaving her crumpled on the floor. "So thanks a lot bitch. Thanks for fucking up."

Everything was being enclosed in an engulfing darkness that she couldn't fight her way out of. Her life, her relationships, and her sanity were falling apart in a million black, piercing pieces. And she wanted to stop falling.

She picked herself up with a light sob, noticing the droplets of blood dripping from her head on the wood floor from where she had been thrown down just moments before.

She began thrashing through the cabinets, plummeting what little she had out of them. She had to find those pills now. She needed to find them. Those bitter, tiny white aiders were her way out. Even if, by some miracle, they didn't kill her, she'd at least have a blackout so strong she didn't have to deal with the outward pain anymore.

But she would die faster from jumping out of a window if she didn't find that damn bottle.

After completely devastating her kitchen, she moved on to her living room. Couch cushions, the coffee table, and several other pieces of furniture were flipped and thrown aside during Anko's rampage.

I need them.

Glass was breaking apart between her hands but she didn't feel them.

I don't want to hurt anymore.

It was enough to make her cry. She was so frustrated, hurt, and angry that she couldn't even keep her emotions intact. She just wanted peace, just wanted to wipe her experience clear out of her mind, wanted Orochimaru completely erased from it. Why was it too complicated to end it all.

She never wanted to see, hear, or feel him ever again.

Breaking.

She fell to her knees, the whole ordeal draining her. She gently spread out on the floor, panting lightly and letting her mind fall into the black.

"Do you hate me?" she whispered.

He stared at her with a curious look on his face. "Why would you ask that?"

"So you do?"

"Don't make accusations. You drive me crazy, Anko…in so many…ways…"

She smirked at the memory. Why couldn't he have been that nice when he wasn't drunk? Have been?

"Orochimaru...why? Why did you have to die so easily?" She turned onto her side and stared at the setting sun pattern seeping through her window. It was such a beautiful evening to mourn. To hate. And for some, to love.

She gulped and brushed away a tear. "I wish." She blinked a few times and tried to remember something other than the horrible man. And that's when it caught her eye.

At first, she passed it off as nothing. But then, she wondered why something that unfamiliar was in her house. She crawled to the alien item behind her door, finding the idea of using energy to stand if it turned out to be nothing ridiculous. She poked it, discovering it was coated with a thick coat of plastic, she sat up on her knees and pulled it up, staring long and hard at it. It was clothing of some sort, vaguely familiar clothing at that. She soothed it around and searched for the opening of the bag. As she pulled out the clothing, a small yellow square fell out of one of the pockets. She opened it with caution.

Hey Anko. Found this crumpled up in your room and thought it deserved some special treatment. Maybe you'll wear it for something other than a seduction mission, huh? -Iruka

Anko threw the sheet down with an irritated grunt. "Why can't he take a hint!" She screamed to the nothingness. She was not romantically interested in Iruka, nor did she want him to have an interest with her! He was too good for her by all means; he deserved so much better than screwy thrash. She pulled the rest of the piece out of the plastic bagging and gasped.

This was indeed the dress Ryik had fixed up for her for her sleuth mission with Orochimaru!

She gripped the fabric closely as her mind recaptured that night. It had been close to a disaster; she had been tricked and humiliated by the Snake Sannin, yet had been blessed with a different side of him for that one night.

And then there was the first kiss...

She brought the material up to her face and breathed in it's clean scent; no Orochimaru.

"Thank you Iruka." she whispered. Something clicked in her mind as she said those words. She looked at the dress and then picked up the paper once more.

Maybe you'll wear it for something other than a seduction mission, huh?

Anko smirked in an almost devilish matter, a first for her in almost three days.

She stood carefully, dress in hand, breathing hard from the abuses. She crept into her bathroom, throwing a stray towel on the access water before quickly freshening up. She combed the knots out of her hair and flavored her mouth with mint toothpaste, throwing icy water on her face and neck with a gasp as she finished up her facial appearance. She then set to work on getting the dress on. To say Anko was completely shocked with the drastic modifications to her body was an understatement. She was one giant bruise, the milk whiteness of her skin causing the dark markings to stand out even more. There were claw marks starting from her shoulders and ending in a jagged path down to her out thighs.

I don't remember his nails being that sharp...

She looked away after that. If she wanted to forget, she had to pretend nothing was there. She quickly slipped the black material on, soothing the material to erase the wrinkles. Despite the familiarization with the reflection she saw, she knew that the dark eyed, snake-bitten creature looking back wasn't her.

"Time to go." she sighed aloud. She may have been making a mistake doing this, but one more couldn't possible do her wrong.

.,.,.,.

"I'm coming!" Iruka shouted in response to the impatient knock on his door. He sloppily tied up his soaked locks and jogged to the door. "I'm here, what do you-" His words were stolen as his sense of sight took over. He gazed in memorization and wonder at the beautiful woman before him. "Anko?" he gasped.

"Who else?" Anko laughed, forcing a smile.

I don't want to do this. I just want to go home and hibernate.

Iruka scratched his head in question. "That's uh...a little extravagant for sleepwear."

Anko rolled her eyes. "I would rather be sleeping, but," she leaned a little closer. "I do believe a proper thank you is in order."

"Huh?"

Anko poked his forehead. "I was wearing this exact dress when you tried to ask me out on a date a few weeks ago. Better late than never. Get dressed, movie starts at eight."

Iruka gulped. He knew Anko was very demeaning, but she had completely taken off guard with this peppy attitude compared to her sulky one from barely two hours ago. "Anko, I really want to," he began, restraining his eyes from running over her anymore. "but, shouldn't we wait a few days? You just went to Hell and back, and I don't want you to-"

"You want to go out or not?" Anko demanded, a little too harshly than she meant to be.

Iruka stared into her brown eyes. He saw so many emotions mixed in with those dark orbs, but there was one that stood out from them all: Need. She needed his company, his comfort, and he was more than willing to give it to her. "Let me grab some different pants." he sighed, ushering her inside.

Anko smirked with satisfaction, following him into his living room. She felt hot vile enter her stomach as she studied his living premises. It was exactly like his personality: joyful and bright. There were light green plants all over the place, and shelves lined with books of all categories. She moved to a smaller shelf leading to the bedroom and studied the few picture it carried. She smirked at the infant Iruka being held by two washed-out, but smiling, adults; she knew instantly they were his parents. Then there was one of him and a blond haired boy that rang a silent bell in the back of her mind. Had Iruka taken on an apprentice or something?

"That's Naruto Uzumaki."

Anko looked up to watch a more professionally dressed Iruka enter the room. She nodded. "I've heard a lot of bull about this kid, him being nine-tails and all. But if you of all people except him, I guess he's not all bad."

Iruka's eyes fell slightly. He would never forget what the Nine Tailed Fox did to his parents over ten years ago, but he felt no hate towards the host of it. He was only a child after all. He sighed, "So, what are we seeing this fine night?"

Anko opened her mouth to answer, but a burst of pain in her back shut her up.

"You okay?" Iruka asked with concern.

She stared at him, thinking of an excuse. "Um, mind if I run by your bathroom for a sec?"

"Of course not." he spoke, pointing down the hallway he had come from. "Second door on the right."

She rushed to it, closing the door and locking. She dashed to his medicine cabinet, and to her relief, a large bottle of pain killers sat in her reach. She grabbed it and popped a handful of pills and stuffed them into her pocket; she'd need them all to keep up with tonight. She inhaled two, the pain melting with the bitter taste, and washed them down with water straight from the tap.

She stepped out of the rest room, creeping quietly back into the living room. She saw Iruka standing in front of a mirror, nervously adjusting his appearance.

"Trust me Iruka, you don't have to do much to impress me."

He jumped and shoved his hands into his pockets.

She laughed, her mood greatly improving now that she was numb. She grabbed his arm. "Let's go."

.,.,.,

The streets were so quiet that one night, hardly a noise or a soul in sight to disturb the peace. That is, until Anko shrilled with laughter as she drug Iruka to the theater.

Iruka was just as excited, but scared as Hell. He was afraid that he'd screw up in some sort of way and she would never want to see him again. But every time Anko smiled at him, his worries died away just for a little while.

They reached the ticket booth. "I'll buy the tickets, you buy the snacks." Anko suggested. Iruka agreed, and went to gather their refreshments. Anko studied the movie choices with little to no interest. There were two horror and one romantic-comedy playing, and she really wasn't in the mood for gore or stupid love. She sighed and pulled out enough money for two tickets. "Two for "Gory Lovebites" please."

The man at the counter grunted and printed out the tickets. He was about to hand them to her in return for the money, but as their eyes met, he stopped.

"Is something wrong?" Anko questioned, side-glancing for Iruka as the man eyed her closely.

He cleared his throat. "Aren't you that Anko Mitarashi girl?"

Anko lowered her head. "...Maybe." She readied herself for the spit in the eye, or the hate-filled comment she usually got when she was asked that question. Almost everyone hated her for being Orochimaru's ex-pupil, occasionally blaming her for the death of the two-hundred and something people he left in his underground labs. But to her absolute surprise, the man smiled and handed her the tickets without reaching for the money.

"On the house." he smiled.

Anko was stunned. "...Why?"

Before he could answer, Iruka reappeared with a popcorn and two drinks. "Hey, don't shoot me, but I got you water."

The ticket man scoffed. "After what she did? Man you oughta be treating her to fine wine after the ass whooping she went through for this village, killing that snake off and all."

Anko outwardly flinched. "Orochimaru?"

"But whatever, go ahead in."

Iruka glared daggers at the man as he and Anko trotted inside. "I ought to report him for such profanity." he whispered to her. He glanced down excepting to see a smirk from her, but instead saw a very sad expression. He wanted to say something more comforting, but judging by the rising anger in her eyes, thought it would be best to be quiet.

The theater was near bare, with exception of a small cluster of people here and there. They took seats near the top, and munched quietly on the popcorn during the previews. As the movie started, Anko discreetly took two more pain pills. She needed them to get that man's words out of her head.

The movie itself was slow, and an utter failure in the Horror category. However, the lost of time was made up with small talk between her and Iruka.

"I'm going to start working in the academy soon." Iruka reported.

"Congratulations on working with a bunch of brats." Anko commented, sipping her water. "How can anyone in their right minds want to do that?"

Iruka grunted. "It might not seem too important, but the futures of those children are practically in my hands. I can really teach those kids something."

"...But what if it's all for nothing?"

Iruka looked at her, but her face was covered by her dark locks.

She felt cold. "What if you do everything you're supposed to do for them, and at the end their given to the wrong person and every single trial you put them through is twisted and manipulated into something else?"

Iruka gripped the arms of his seat as he watched her lower her head in her hands.

"What if they become monsters?"

Iruka cringed. He should have talked her out leaving the safety of her apartment tonight. She was still to damaged and brainwashed from her mission. Fragile. He took a bold mood and grasped her hand, earning her teary stare. He leaned into her slightly. "You're not a monster Anko Mitarashi. You're just you." He leaned away, keeping her hand in his and waiting for her to pull back. But she remained entangled in his grasp.

If only you knew.

She stood up. "Let's go; this movie's lame." It was too fast. Her head began to spin.

Monsters.

Orochimaru.

Pain.

Pills.

You.

She fell into a warm embrace, into the frame of someone who would never hurt her. She looked up and met Iruka's wide, hot chocolate eyes. Their faces were mere inches from each other, and Anko felt her stomach twist. It was too soon.

She pulled away.

I'm sorry.

"Clumsy me." she teased.

Iruka nodded, hiding his disappointment. "Let's get out of here." He led her out, and just in time to miss the main character's death.

.,.,.

Anko had scarf down two more pain pills barely ten minutes after they had exited the theater. People were staring at her, crowding into clusters with their friends and wishing and pointing. All of these things were everyday occurrences to her, but it was their expressions, and the way they approached her directly that sprout her need for meds.

"Nice going Anko-chan!"

"I hope you split that asshole's throat!"

"What was it like, kill a monster like Orochimaru?"

Finally, Anko plopped down in a bench in front of her favorite dango shop. She was shaking; both from the icy air and the immediate withdrawal she had from trying to conserve her last three pills. She needed them.

Iruka, somehow didn't notice her stress until he sat down beside her. "Whoa Anko, it seems like you've become a celebrity! All these people are so proud of you for-"

"Do. Not. Say. It." Anko snarled, her hand clenching the table so tightly that her knuckles turned cotton white.

Iruka gulped slightly. "What's wrong?"

Anko lined up her hate-filled orbs on him. "Take a wild guess." she hissed, turning away from him.

Iruka stared at her curiously. "It's not about what all of these people have been saying is it?"

Anko's head lowered; that was her answer.

"I thought you'd be happy. So many people respect you now."

"They respect what I did, not me as a person."

"You're a hero."

"I'm a murderer."

Iruka placed a warm hand on her shoulder. "You're a shinobi Anko, taking out the enemy is in the job description."

Anko jumped up. "You sound just like Jiraiya! Neither one of you give a damn about the person you're killing as long as the fucking mission is completed! You're both so heartless!"

Now that was too far.

He grabbed her arm before she could get more than a foot away.

"Let go." Anko hissed.

He spun her to him, taking her other arm to lessen her struggling.

Anko felt a great sense of de ja vu washing over her. "Iruka stop."

His hands slid up to her shoulders, his goal to prove her wrong his only focus. "You're dead wrong Anko. Do you realize that if it came down to a mission or you, I'd choose you in a heartbeat?"

Anko scoffed, relieved but angry. "You say that now, but you'd change your mind if you..."

"If I what?"

If you knew I was fucking Orochimaru while you were waiting for me.

"If you got sick of me."

Iruka smiled and released her. "I am sick you Anko."

Anko's eyes lifted. How could his smile have so much feeling while Orochimaru's was just cold?

"That's why I can't leave you alone."

.,.,.,

After a silent meal of Dango and sake (water for Anko), the couple walked back to Anko's apartment in silence. She couldn't stop smirking, and she felt foolish for it. The whole time she had been clawing at the last three pain relievers in her pocket, yet found herself pulling away each time Iruka smiled. She was feeling something strong and powerful building in the stone she thought was her heart. She couldn't remember feeling it when she was with Orochimaru, why was she feeling it now?

"Well," Iruka sighed as they reached her dorm. Anko hadn't even realized it.

"Well," she copied, that stupid smile still on her face. She unlocked the door and slipped inside. Iruka lingered at the doorway, still needing full permission to enter the sanity of her home.

Is it a home with only one person in it?

"We should...do this again." Anko shrugged. "It was different."

"Not for a while I'm afraid." Iruka chuckled. "You're not leaving this house again until you're good and well."

Anko rolled her eyes. "You act more like my father than a best friend." She spun on her heal and unlocked the door, expecting him to follow her. Instead he stayed put.

His fists clenched and unclenched. How was he going to tell her what he really thought of her without freaking her out or upsetting her? "Anko?"

She fingered her pocket, readying the finale of the pain meds. "Yeah?"

Just say it!

His throat was dry. It was fifty degrees outside yet it was so damn hot! "I..."

Suffocating.

"I think I should go home now."

Anko gripped the doorknob. She didn't want to be alone in the house where Orochimaru's memory lurked. She wanted him to stay, but had recovered too much of her pride to ask him to. "Um...okay."

Iruka mentally slapped himself. Idiot!

"I'll drop by tomorrow...if you want."

Anko's hands dropped to her side. Lifeless. She gave him a smile. "I'd love that."

He sighed, waving her off. "Bye."

Anko watched him slowly retreat down the steps. "Thank you."

Breaking.

She entered in, staring at the mess she had left behind. She had no desire to deal with it tonight. The pills were setting in; it was time for bed. But she did not want to sleep in her bed. She sighed and flipped her couch over; this would have to do. She restacked the pillows and unfolded a blanket. She wouldn't worry about taking off the dress; she liked the scent on it. It was the only comfort she had tonight

Just as she was about to let her hair down, the door swung open with a crack, and her life forever changed.

Warm, tender hands gripped her arms and pulled her forward.

"Wh-"

His lips were alive. She had never felt so much emotion, so much love, in one connection before.

Orochimaru would rip my lips off if he saw me kissing another man.

She gasped when they parted suddenly, unable to get her head straight. "Iruka, you just..."

Iruka cleared his throat nervously, his face one screen of blush. "I uh-s-sor-sorry I-I just-" He cleared his throat several times, taking a few steps away from Anko. "I've been...holding that in...all night..."

Anko's eyes widened; her heart raced. He wanted her? But why? She was beyond insane and he had witnessed and felt it on more than several occasions. She had too many demons in her closet and he would most likely die of shock his he found them all.

She was Orochimaru's ex-student, let alone his former toy.

Who would want her?

"Why?" she whispered, giving them some space. "Why would hold back if you wanted it so bad?"

Orochimaru wouldn't have.

He gently took hold of her face, making their eyes meet. "You're so special Anko." His fingers twitched as they fluttered across her skin. "You're so delicate, don't you know that?"

Anko grasped his exploring hand tightly. "Do not treat me like I'm some kind of breakable toy Iruka."

I'm already broken.

"I never thought you were. But you're fragile, and it wouldn't hurt you to let someone help you once in a while."

Anko glared at him and grabbed him by the back of his neck and forced him into a rough kiss. She shoved her tongue in his mouth, admiring the new taste that had nothing to do with blood. She decided to test her boundaries more and slipped her hands under his shirt, running her hands over his broad back. She never knew until now that Iruka worked out.

He pulled away from her with a start, stumbling back on the door, closing it. "Whoa…" was all he could say when his breathing became more controlled.

Anko winked at him. "How's that for delicate?" Her stomach flipped when Iruka looked at her. She recognized that lust anywhere. She watched as he cautiously stepped up to her, one hand grasping her shoulder while the other cradled the back of her head. He kissed her again, and Anko shuddered with the want in his actions.

No! Don't go through this again!

She squeezed his shoulder, pushing him away as her intention. But Iruka would never do what Orochimaru did, right?

He pulled back suddenly. "Do you want to do this?"

She wasn't too shocked; he was always asking permission.

"I'll stop." He whispered, his hands slipping down to exaggerate his point, "I'll leave right now if it's what you want." Though he really didn't what to.

She coiled her arms around his waist, pulling him closer than he had ever been. to her "If that's what I wanted, you'd be lying face-first at the bottom of the steps." She claimed his lips again, and made sure he couldn't.

Orochimaru can't hurt me here.

Iruka had wanted her since the day he met her, over eight years ago. His want wasn't nearly as extreme as it was now, but still as strong. He wanted to take the pain out of her eyes the day her sensei left her. He wanted to hold her forever each time she ended up in the hospital. He wanted her to allow him to lover her, and finally had his chance.

His arms ventured lower as they swapped tastes, kneading into her outer thighs. When she pressed against him, it was a signal that he could pick her up. He held her up high, trailing his greedy down her throat.

She gripped one of his shoulders as Iruka wandered over the stinging bites on her throat. He was healing her without even realizing it. "Let's go." she whispered against his neck.

He didn't need an escort.

As soon as her back hit the bed, Anko felt that familiar filth coat her. She gripped Iruka tightly, screaming over and over again that Orochimaru had been in this bed. Iruka's lips cut them off. She deepened the kiss and gripped the lapels of his shirt.

He stopped her. "Anko, are you sure about this?"

Anko smiled at him. It was forged but in the depths of her soul, she meant it. Reaching up, she pulled him back down and caressed his mouth in a long, passionate kiss.

.,.,.,.,.,.

Hiruzen looked up from the file he was reading do to the wrenching smell that enter his office along with one of his ex-students. "My God Jiraiya, did you bathe in a tub of sake or what?"

Jiraiya, filthy and tired, dismissed his ex-sensei's remark and flopped back. "What else came in on Orochimaru?"

Hiruzen sighed and rubbed his sleep-plagued eyes. "What happened between you and Anko?"

Jiraiya jumped up, hate in his eyes. "Fucking answer me first!"

Hiruzen rose as well. "Jiraiya, you seem to forget I can still kick your drunken ass from here to the nearest graveyard, so don't push me."

Jiraiya gulped, his anger instantly replaced by fear. "Yeah, sorry."

"Forget it." Hiruzen said, slamming his folder shut. "I'm too tired."

Jiraiya approached him. He picked up the file and flinched as he read over his dead comrade's name on the tab. "Why are you going through this?"

Hiruzen leaned back, resting his weary head against the back of the chair. "Because I'm trying to figure out who took his body."

The papers in Jiraiya's hand clattered to the ground. "W-what?"

Hiruzen gulped. "After Anko was taken to the hospital, ANBU scouts stayed behind to search Orochimaru's, or whoever that unfortunate soul was, base in search for survivors. When they returned, the men guarding him were knocked cold, and Orochimaru was gone."

Jiraiya's mind began to race, but one face was clear. "Anko! Do you think...if he's...that he'd come back for her?"

Hiruzen's eyes shot open. "Don't talk like that just yet. We're still not sure what the Hell's going on; it might just be a mistake.

Might?

Jiraiya turned away. "I should have never fought with her. None of this was her fault but I tried to make it. "

The Third studied him closely. They were all beginning to break, crumbling into pieces with this whole disgusting mess. He stood, determined not to let it get to him next. "I'm just as to blame as you. I knew this mission would put her in danger, but I was hoping, by some miracle, she wouldn't..."

"Break?" Jiraiya finished. He turned away, wiping the water from his eyes. "She's got a strong hear; I think it can bear a little more."

Hiruzen nodded and walked with his student. "We'll warn her tomorrow."

"I'll warn her. She wouldn't have this problem if it wasn't for me."

.,.,.,.,.,

His blood pressure was too high. He'd be dead in the next hour if he wasn't put to sleep.

However the man hovering just on the other side of the room wouldn't allow him to any assistance until answers were given. He was too irate to care less.

"What the fuck did you do!" the disfigured man barked.

Kimimaro shook with pain and fear. He was bleeding to death, but the wrath of his master was the scariest thing in world at the moment. "I...I...had to-" he was slapped across the face.

"Quit stuttering you fucking brat! Didn't I tell you?" Kimimaro was picked up by the hair. "Didn't I fucking tell you I'd kill you if you fucked this up?"

Kabuto, with his own share of injuries, reached out to help his dying comrade. He couldn't deny that he felt something for the little twerp. "Sir please!"

The man shot around, his fist hitting the young medic square in the jaw.

Kabuto recovered quickly, glaring up at the man's piercing gold irises. "If you want to kill us, go ahead, but you'll have to find someone else to bring your ass back to life." He was lurched up, meeting said eyes.

"You didn't bring me back to life you son of a bitch-"

"No, you sacrificed a mere child for that."

He clenched his teeth. "Fuck you."

Kabuto smirked. "Sorry Lord Orochimaru, that's Anko Mitarashi's resume, not mine."

The Snake Sannin threw him down. He didn't need him where he was about to head out to.

"And where in the Hell do you think you're going?"

Orochimaru threw the door open, not caring that it had created a large crater in the already unstable wall. "Konoha."

Kabuto tried to contain himself, but he was so fed up from the last few days that he couldn't hold in one more outburst. "You do realize that if you get caught I won't be able to come after you right?"

No answer. These empty sounds were becoming uncomfortable familiar.

A sob brought Kabuto's attention back to the devastating situation before him. He forced a smile and ran back up to Kimimaro's side, searching for the substance that would give them both a peace of mind. "Don't worry Kimimaro, a new liver and some rest, you'll be up and running in no time."

"No!" Kimimaro screeched so loud Kabuto jumped. "Don't save me! Let me die, I just want to die!"

Kabuto was tempted to let him have his wish, but he knew Orochimaru would find some kind of use for him, even if it was just experimentation. "Sorry kiddo, not this time."


YO! Ryunn Kazan here!

Okay, not really the one for long messages, but there is a thing or too I feel I need to get off my chest.

A lot of people have been giving me, well, to be blunt, shit, about the way I write, the story itself, and at one point why the heck I continue to go on living{Shut up Kise}. I know most of them are just trying to help (NinjaSheik, Jigoku-Dayu93, and occasionally Kise when he hasn't been drinking) but at times it really puts ol' Ryunn Kazan in a slump. It's made me considered giving up the story, but then I think " Hell, I've put three years into it, why give up now?"

Look, please, try to be a little more considerate and back off on the hard love just a smidge, 'kay?

P.S. Sorry once again for the long update. Life, you know?

I really think the song "9 Crimes" works well with AnkoXOrochimaru's relationship. It's about moving on, but regretting it for you're still in love with the person you left. Perfect :

-RK