Chapter 28: What I've Done
February 23, 2008
Time: 8:43 PM
Mood: Validated
Username: adhasnovds
This is something I have to do. This is the choice I have to make. Or rather, it was the choice that was made for me. Hopefully this will teach you something.
I don't care if you ever forgive me.
But if I were being honest with myself, and everyone else, I would care. I do care. There's no turning back.
You should be careful what you say, be cautious of your surroundings. You never know who you may hurt.
You made your choice, and in turn made mine.
-- -
I thought yesterday would be a normal Friday. You know, wake up, go to school, come home and hang out with Kyla. Well, it started off that way…I woke up. But as I was out the door and on my way to school I was greeted in a very unexpected and unwelcome way.
Sydney was leaning against my car; tear stained face and all. She'd [finally] stopped the round the clock calls and I thought she'd finally gotten the hint that I wanted nothing to do with her.
"Ashley, baby!"
Unfortunately I was sorely mistaken as I found myself being wrapped up in an entirely uncomfortable and unwanted embrace.
"Oh my god baby, I missed you so much. I was so worried something had happened to you since you haven't returned any of my calls."
She finally let me go and I pushed her back even further, needing the space. The girl was suffocation personified.
"Sydney what are you doing here?"
A confused look spread across her face and I just stared at her with impatience.
"I had to check on you, silly. When my girlfriend doesn't answer my three phone calls I get nervous."
Ok it's official, this girl is nuts.
"Sydney, I'm not your girlfriend anymore."
"What are you talking about? Of course you are," she giggled idiotically.
I was actually attracted to her? Good God, what was I on?
"No, I'm not. Do you not remember the night we broke up? Because it really wasn't that long ago."
She giggled again, "Are you talking about that silly little tiff we had?" I stepped out of the way when she tried to wrap me up again, which caused her to pout pathetically, "Ashie come on, you know you're the only one for me!"
Annoyed beyond belief and almost running late for school, I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose. I had to put it in a way that she'd understand, really understand.
"Sydney Stevens, there's only one girl out there for me. And you are not her!"
Her stupid grin went away, replaced with a slack jaw and bugged out eyes.
"Did you really just John Tucker me?"
I pretended to ponder it for a bit, "Hmm, ya know. I think I did. So take the hint and go away, kthanks."
She just looked at me in disbelief as I hopped into the Mini Cooper and sped off to school.
I made it to first period with barely a minute to spare, and as I regaled Kyla with my harrowing tale, I swear she laughed harder than she ever had.
We spent the night out at the movies, just the two of us. I told her Cal was more than welcome to join, but she insisted that we have a girl's night. There were no complaints from me of course.
Her dad wanted her home that night, some lame 'We never spend time together, let's go to breakfast in the morning. Bright and early. Blah blah blah' attempt at parenting. We made plans to get together the next afternoon.
When I pulled up to my usual parking spot, along the curb in front of the expansive house, I noticed Gretchen's obnoxiously bright pink Mustang parked next to Regina's. Yeah, they had matching cars. Codependency issues anyone?
But honestly, it's not a shock she had a Barbie pink car. No shock at all. She was an attention whore, of course she had to have everyone notice her for any reason she could muster. Positively nauseating though, isn't it?
Personally, I think anyone that drives a pink car, that isn't made entirely of plastic, has a pink dream house, and a boyfriend with no actual sex organs to show he's a man, should be shot. But I digress.
Per the norm, both parents were out of the house. No doubt back at the hospital. It was rare they were anywhere else.
I walked in and made a quick pit stop in the kitchen. I was told there were freshly baked goodies from that morning. Again, another rarity in the Carlin/Montaneo household, but Paula was an excellent baker.
Piled high on a plate, sitting on the center island were the rectangles of chocolatey goodness.
"Mr. Brownie, I'm looking at you. You wore Saran Wrap so you could hide."
I snagged one and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge on my way out. There was a pause in the hallway as I took a bite and found myself slumped against the wall seconds later.
"Ohh that was a good one. Ohh that was nice."
They were nice and gooey, but definitely not under baked. I took another bite as I kept walking and almost fainted.
"Mmm. I love these brownies!" I moaned. How that woman could bake something so amazing was beyond my vast power of comprehension.
It was polished off by the time I hit the stairs. I jogged up a few and instantly regretted it when I felt my stomach start to turn.
Note to self: Brownies, though quite delicious, do not mix well with jogging up stairs.
I'd just made it to the top landing when I heard yelling. Obnoxiously high pitched, bleeding ear inducing yells. Obviously it came from Spencer's room. Gretchen wouldn't go near Kyla's room without some underhanded purpose.
The plan was to just walk past the door and ignore it completely, but the subject of their screamfest was more than enough to keep my attention…and to make me look lame when I plastered myself against the wall while I listened carefully.
"Who is Janet?" the skankified Barbie asked.
"Some girl online."
What, that's it? Can't even get a friend out of it?
"Some girl you have feelings for?"
Here we go. Tell her Spencer. Tell her you're done. Tell her what a good-
"She's no one to me. Not like you, you mean so much to me!"
Bitch!
I couldn't listen to anymore of that bullshit, so I stalked down to Kyla's room. Foul, bitter, and pissed off didn't even come close to my mood. I masked it though; Kyla didn't need to know about it yet. Not that there was even really an 'it' to speak of. Regina made that loud and clear. Literally.
When I walked in she was just stepping out of her closet, with an armful of clothes. Apparently it was time for her yearly spring cleaning.
She smiled at me and threw the clothes into the already overflowing basket.
"Hey, what took you so long? I saw you pull up," she checked her watch, "seven minutes and thirty seven seconds ago."
I lifted my hand and showed her my partially chocolate covered fingers; the perfect alibi.
"I was unavoidably detained."
"Damn your eyes and stomach man," she said in a horrible Scottish accent. Caddyshack would never get old with us.
"You know the brownies are my only weakness, Ky." She gave me an amused but disbelieving smirk, "Alright, alright. They're my only food weakness. Gosh."
***
A while later…
Situated back at my laptop, I had meticulously cut and combined clips from the video that played over and over in my head on loop. I found the harder I tried to block it, the more it played, and the clearer the picture and sound became.
The file had just finished saving when I had successfully rerouted my way into the school's website. I didn't want it traced back to me of course.
My finger hovered over the mouse for a few minutes; undecided if it was really the thing to do. If it was really worth the risk. Her words bounced around in my head over and over.
"She's no one to me…"
With a clenched jaw I clicked the button. I chose my path, or rather, I accepted the path she placed me in front of.
