Saying goodbye to Alice and Jasper was hard. Saying goodbye to Edward and watching him drive away, was heart-wrenching. It felt like my heart had been ripped

out of my chest and all that was left was a gaping, bleeding hole. I wrapped my arms around my body, trying to hold myself together. I know that this is necessary.

He has to go back to school. I was just going to miss him so much.

I also over-estimated my ability to ignore Jake. I honestly believed that with my new mind-set, that Jacob Black would fade away. He obviously had other ideas. After

being able to avoid him for the last three weeks, seeing him again, was a shock to my system. Not a good shock either. And he seemed more determined than ever to

get to me. He doubled his efforts. To talk to me, to send others to me, to get under my skin, to get on my last nerve, to destroy my mental well-being.

Each day got progressively worse. I could feel my resentment building, but I felt powerless. I wasn't strong enough to kick his ass, and I hadn't learned enough

karate to hurt a flea, let alone a 6'5" hulk of muscle. I may not like Jake, but his body was well-built and fit and strong. His sheer size and strength intimidated me. I

wanted to avoid him, but the only way would be to skip school. School was too important to me, so I went and I suffered.

I started withdrawing again. Eating less. Sleeping more. Esme could see that I was suffering, and knew that it was because of someone or something at school. She

drove me everywhere, and took care of me. She could see that all of my other activities didn't affect me the way going to school did. The anxiety I expressed.

Sweating...breathing harder...clenching my hands and wrapping my arms around myself protectively. I only did that as she drove me to school.

One day, instead of just dropping me off, she pulled into visitor parking.

"I have some things I need to check on Bella. Go to class and I will see you in a couple of hours." She said softly to me.

I walked away, but kept looking back. I noticed that she walked into the building that housed campus security. I wonder what she is going to do...I don't think there

is anything that she can do.

As miserable as school was...Jacob was, I felt like I was eventually going to overcome this. I just needed to get away from him!

Rape Recovery group was interesting and I was learning a lot from the women who went there. One in particular, made me feel like someday I could have it all. She

was awesome. Her name was Sarah. She was the same age as me, and had been raped by an acquaintance also, but that is where the similarities stopped. She was

so strong and sure of herself, she believed in herself and her choices. And I greatly admired her. For her strength, insight and determination.

Sarah's rape resulted in a pregnancy. Everyone around her told her to get an abortion, but she was against abortion and refused. She planned on giving the baby up

for adoption. She carried the baby full-term, and was getting ready to sign the papers to release her, but she decided that she wanted to take one look at the baby

she was giving up.

One look. That was all it took. Sarah instantly fell in love with her baby, a tiny baby girl. She couldn't do it. She couldn't give her away. She ripped up the adoption

papers. Sarah was a mother! Only 17 years old, with the weight and responsibility of the world on her shoulders, she came out of her personal hell, and took control

of her life and her baby's life. What ever it took, she would take care of that little baby and raise it to the best of her ability. She named her baby girl, Sierra.

Sierra was now two years old and looked exactly like her mother. Which I thought was a good thing. Who would want to look in the face of their child and see their

rapist? But I actually don't think it would have mattered to Sarah, if her baby had looked like him. She was that kind of person...that kind of goodness.

Sarah had to work full-time, took some night courses at H.F.C.C. and came to R.R. every week, to help support others and show them they could recover.

I don't know how she did it. But she did, like I said. She is awesome.

As we left R.R. one evening in early February, Sarah was excitedly telling me about her boyfriend, who was picking her up. I knew from our talks, that they had been

dating for three months. She had told him everything, and he was happy and proud to be able to be with her. He obviously thought she was awesome too!

We were walking out of the building together, and a man I recognized approached us. I stopped walking and froze as I looked at her boyfriend.

"What? Bella, What?" She grabbed my arm and shook me. I couldn't take my eyes off the man who stopped right in front of us.

It wasn't Jacob, but it was his best buddy...who had helped Jake torment me several months ago. One of the guys that hit on me relentlessly, then made up lies and

stories about me, about what we did supposedly did together on our imaginary dates.

I watched in horror as Sarah walked up to him and hugged him. His arms wrapped around her and he hugged her back, but his eyes never left my face.

"Bella, this is my boyfriend Seth...Seth, this is the girl I was telling you about...Bella."

Seth swallowed hard. I could see his Adam's apple bob, as he continued to stare at me. His eyes flicked to Sarah, to the building we just left then back to me again.

His eyebrows pulled together in concentration, and he frowned.

If Sara had told him about me, then he would know my whole story...that I had been raped, while on a date, when it happened, and how it had left me an emotional

mess.

I wasn't sure if the idea of him knowing all of this about me hurt me, scared me or just plain pissed me off.

"Uhm, Hi Bella...glad to meet you finally. Sorry it has to be now, uhm, as you are, uhm coming out of group..." he trailed off. His eyes still staring into

mine...searching for answers.

I wasn't feeling any sympathy. I wanted him to hurt and pay for what he did to me. I felt bad for Sarah, but she needed to know what kind of guy she was with.

"Better here, where you can see the real me, instead of a bunch of lies made up by a whole slew of assholes." I sneered.

Sarah could see the animosity pouring off of me, I'm sure. She looked worriedly between the two us.

"Do you know each other? Seth? What's going on? Tell me!" She looked ready to cry. I felt bad about that, but again, she needed to know what kind of person she

was with.

"Yeah. We met. A couple of months ago. Actually, I asked Bella out...but she turned me down. I was an ass about it...I might have said some things...made up some

things about her." He tried to make it sound like he hadn't played an integral part in destroying my reputation, or self-worth.

I looked away from him and looked into Sarah's eyes. "I told you about this." I said simply with a shrug. "I was, and still am being harassed, by a bunch of guys on

campus. They ask me out. I turn them down. I couple days later, they tell everyone how great I am in bed...how I'm like a Hoover vacuum, sucking them dry, or my

favorite, how much I like it up the ass."

Sarah looked shocked, and she turned from me to look at Seth.

"Please tell me you didn't do that. That you had no part of that. Please." She was begging him.

He dropped his head down, shaking it. "I'm sorry! I can't. Bella, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know. It was all Jake's idea, he has some crazy idea that you will go out with

him, if he seems like the only decent guy around. I'm sorry that I was one of those assholes...but I have changed. I'm different now, Sarah, I really am different.

Please."

Seth tried to put his arm around Sarah, but she pulled away looking at him with accusing eyes.

"Does Jacob know? About this?" Seth asked nodding to the building...like he couldn't even say the word 'rape'. "I'm sure if he knew, if you explained why you turned

him down he would understand...let up. He really is a decent person. Just sometimes he gets something in his head, and he can't see a better way to get what he

wants. He doesn't mean to hurt people. I'm sure he doesn't want you to be hurt."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. Seth was so naive...so trusting. He really didn't know Jake at all.

"Do you honestly believe that? That he's treating me this way because I refused to go out with him?" I shook my head and narrowed my eyes. "You don't know him at

all do you?"

Seth just looked at me "We have been friends for years. I have known him since first grade. I think I know him a little bit better than you." He actually sounded a

little condescending when he said that. And that pissed me off. I was going to knock that smug look right off of his face.

"I did go out on a date with Jacob. Last summer. I left for that date a virgin, I came home...not so much. And not by choice. He beat me and raped me and left me in

the street, as he drove off laughing at me. For some strange reason, he remembers it differently. Like I said yes and enjoyed myself, like I wanted it...that. I will

never, ever, ever go out with Jacob Black again. I will never be alone with him again. I will never give him a chance to hurt me like that again. Nothing can hurt me

as much as he did that night...not the guys hitting on me...not the lies and stories...nothing. In less time then it takes to cook a meal in the microwave, he took

everything from me."

I could see his face fall. The shock coming off of Seth, as he realized what I was saying...that he didn't 'know' his friend after all.

"So, yes, Seth. Jacob knows about my being raped. He knows every little detail of it. He may even know some parts better than me, because after he punched me in

the face, I blacked out for a bit."

Sarah was crying...hard. "Jacob Black, your best friend, is a rapist! That sick pig." She couldn't stop the tears from falling, and Seth looked like he was going to cry,

or be sick...maybe both.

"I can't be around him...or you. If you remain friends with him, then we are over." She was breathing hard and sobbing. "Bella, can you drive me home?"

I nodded. I had just got my driver's license the other day and I was driving Esme's Escalade.

"Sarah...wait." Seth called, but we continued on to the SUV without stopping or looking back.

When we were safely locked into the vehicle I turned to look at Sarah and she was turned towards me, still crying.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Bella..." She muttered at the same time.

We just looked at each other and then fell into each other's arms to hug and cry.

Sarah and I grew even closer after that. I even supported her decision to stay with Seth, after he agreed to stop hanging with Jake.

I'm glad she could forgive him so easily...but I couldn't.

The next couple of weeks at school, Jake seemed to be everywhere. I would see Seth too, but he was never with Jacob. Just off in the distance, watching.

It was the day before Valentine's day and I was really missing Edward. I was walking around campus, day dreaming about the two of us going to the same school,

away from here, away from Jake. I wasn't paying too much attention to what or who were around me, when I felt a strong hand grab and yank me behind a building.

I looked up into the very angry eyes of Jacob Black.

"What do you want? Get your hands off of me!" I hissed, trying to pull away from him.

"What did you say to Seth. What kind of lies did you make up to turn him against me?" He demanded.

I snorted in derision. "I didn't tell him any lies. But you're a fine one to talk! You're the fucking king of lies." I yelled at him.

Before I could finish, before I could even register what he was about to do, he had backhanded me...hard. So hard, that when my head went back it hit and bounced

off the brick wall behind me. I saw stars.

He was drawing back to hit me again, when two campus security guards tackled him and subdued him. Seth was with them, looking worried.

"I don't think so buddy." One of the guards said as he pulled Jake's arms behind his body, pinning him down to the ground with a knee in the back.

"Miss, do you want to press charges? The Dearborn Police are on their way." The other guard asked me gently.

I nodded my head. Everything was fuzzy, blurry. I looked over at Seth and then everything went into slow motion. I could see his lips move, but it took a moment for

the sounds to hit my ears. "Oh Shit!" then Seth was reaching for me as the ground seemed to be rushing up to meet me. Before I felt the impact with the ground,

darkness crashed down on me.