CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
A Backwards World

Kennedy left shortly after they were finished, thankfully.

Faith was already frustrated, so the last thing she wanted to do was yell at her to get out. She knew she'd end up being a huge cunt about it, and she really didn't want to have to deal with the backlash of it at school tomorrow. You'd think that with three orgasms, Faith's frustrations would just melt away. But no, because life likes to fuck her sideways, that wasn't what happened at all.

She just couldn't stop thinking about her. Buffy, obviously, not Kennedy. And it was really fucking stupid, because after sex Faith should feel worn out, but thoroughly satisfied. That's not too much to ask, right? But she lay in bed for hours, staring at the celling and wondering why the hell she can't just get her out of her mind. It ain't like Buffy was anything incredibly special, right? For fuck's sake. She's just a friend. She could be a good lay, but that was out of the question.

Eventually, Faith did end up falling asleep. But the next morning she woke up and Buffy was still on her mind, so in a wave of annoyance and frustration, she went to go talk to her mother. It was probably her fault anyway; she kept pushing Buffy on her like she was trying to set up a freaking arranged marriage.

When she opens the door to her mother's room, she doesn't do it delicately. The sound is loud and abrasive and it wakes her mother up, who sits up in bed sleepy and confused. "Whatsgoingon?" she mumbles, squinting as she tries to make out who just entered into her room in a less than polite manner. The covers fall from around her torso and Faith can see her mother's topless, which wouldn't be a problem except that she wasn't in bed alone.

"Who the fuck is this clown?" Faith asks defensively as the random man sits up, mumbling something like 'what the hell was that?'

"Fai?" Her mother asks, like she wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not.

"No, it's the tooth fairy. Who the fuck do you think? And who the hell is he?" Faith always hated when her mother brought home men; they never were of the highest quality, and this one was no different. He was a rugged and tattooed gangster-looking Italian, and basically screamed 'no good' from a mile away.

Fucking fantastic.

"What do you…?" Caroline asks, confused for a moment as she wakes up. Then she realizes what must be going on because she asks, "Are you okay?"

"I need to talk to you," Faith says flatly.

"This ya daughter?" the stranger asks, looking at Faith in a way that made her skin crawl.

"Yeah, now get the fuck outta my mum's bed. Ya had your fun, now get to steppin', Fabio." She grabs his clothes off the floor and throws it to him almost violently. This was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now.

"His name is Alberto," Caroline corrects as she grabs her shirt that's hanging over the side table lamp before slipping it over her head.

Whatever, still Italian, so Faith was pretty sure her guess was a good one.

"You really let ya daughter just kick out ya dates like this?" the guy asks, like Faith was the one being rude. Fuck that. His presence was rude. "If she were my kid, I wouldn't let her get away with that. Girl's rude, Caroline. She ain't got no respect for her elders; needs to be taught some obedience."

Faith snorted. Right. Good thing she ain't his kid then, huh? Whatever, guys like him were a dime a dozen. He doesn't scare her.

"I'm sorry, call me later?" Caroline suggests hopefully, leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Fabio, or whatever his name was, didn't look like he was going to do it as he grabs his clothes, pulling them back on.

"Yeah, sure," he replies dismissively.

He won't call.

Her mother looks like she knows that too as she sighs a little, but it's not like it's unexpected. Caroline's dates never stuck around for more than the first night anymore. As Fabio leaves, she pats the bed next to her, encouraging Faith to come over and sit down. She does.

"Why the fuck ya gotta get douchebags like that, Mum? Ain't like you're ugly or nothin'."

"He was… sweet," Caroline falters a little, like she isn't even sure if that's the word. Faith's sure it isn't. But she changes the subject to, "What did you want to talk about, dear?" as she reaches over to her bedside table, opening the drawer and getting her blow.

"Whoa, where the fuck did ya get that?" Faith asks, looking at the bag. She didn't buy it. "Ya know you're not supposed to keep that shit in here."

"I know, I'm sorry. Alberto gave it to me and I didn't want to wake you," Caroline tells her as she sticks her finger in there, gathering some up on her long nail. Faith curls up her lip in disgust as her mother waves at her to turn around. She obliges reluctantly, and as she hears her mother snorting up the drug she tells her,

"Well ya gotta give to me after."

"I know," Caroline replies, then seals the baggie and hands it to her. Faith puts it in her bra.

Her mother looks at her expectantly and it kind of bothers her so she bursts out with suddenly, "Why the fuck are you always on about B?"

"What?" Caroline asks, confused.

"Buffy," Faith clarifies. "You've met her once, so why the hell are you advocating for me to like, I dunno, fuckin' settle down and get married to the bitch or something?"

Caroline gives her a patient look. "I never said you should marry her, Faith. I just think she's a nice girl."

"But like I said, ya met her once."

Her mother sighs a little, leaning against the headboard of her bed. "Faith, I've known you your whole life. I've watched you sleep for nearly two decades now and not once have you ever talked about a girl in your sleep. And it isn't just sometimes, it nearly every night I go in there. It may even be more than that. You must really like her, so I just think that maybe you should give dating her a shot. You never know, you may enjoy it."

"What, bein' tied down to one bitch? No thanks. And by the way, that whole 'watching me sleep' thing is kinda creepy. I'm practically an adult, Mum."

"I know sweetie, but I like doing it," Caroline tells her with a smile. "You look like my little girl again; innocent."

Faith scoffs. Right, innocent. Whatever.

Caroline takes one of her hands in hers, holding it. "I think you should give her a chance. Trust me when I tell you I know how unsatisfying sleeping with random people all the time can get. You need something more than that; I want something more than that for you."

"Ya ain't doing it with the right people if it's unsatisfying, Mum," Faith tells her flatly as she untangles her hand from hers, standing up. She didn't want to give Buffy a chance. Buffy was cool and all, hot as shit if she were to be honest, but that didn't mean they'd work in an actual relationship. That shit fuckin'… scares her. She hates using that word but it's true. There isn't a lot that scares Faith, but relationships are one of them. She wouldn't even know how to go about being in one and besides, to be in relationship you should probably have to love the person right?

Faith doesn't love. She just doesn't. She fucks and that's… that's just it. Okay?

"I gotta… get ready for school," Faith tells her mother as she runs her fingers through her hair. She just didn't want to talk about this anymore. She figured coming in here and confronting her mother would help, but all it did was confuse shit even more.

When she got to school, Faith did all she could do avoid Buffy. However, she was present in her English class, which was sadly unavoidable. Buffy was trying to get her attention all throughout the test they were supposed to be taking, which got her told off by the teacher and then she finally stopped. Once the bell rang, Faith practically flew from the room.

When faced with a choice between dealing and not dealing? She'll choose not to deal, thanks.

Faith tries to get her books for her next class out of her locker as quick as humanly possible, but it isn't quick enough. Buffy corners her, and for someone who had so much determination to talk to her, she doesn't look quite as sure about herself now that she's actually gotten Faith within her general vicinity. "Hey," she starts, sounding a little unsure about how Faith's going to react. "Can we… talk?"

"I gotta get to class," Faith tells her shortly, shoving her English book in her locker before pulling out her history one.

"It's lunch," Buffy reminds her. Her voice was low and dejected; she knew Faith was purposely avoiding her.

Shit.

"Hey Summers!" one jock hollers at Buffy as he comes over to her. Buffy looks a little annoyed to be interrupted, but Faith was glad for it. Now she could get the fuck out of there.

"Oh, hey Dan," Buffy says, smiling at him a little. Faith rolls her eyes and closes her locker; she wanted nothing to do with all this cool-kids crap. How Buffy still managed to have every guy like her even after her popularity status plummeted, is beyond her. Then again, maybe she didn't need to be a cheerleader and hang around other stuck up bitches to still be popular. What would Faith know? She certainly wasn't.

Not that she cared.

"Hey uh, I was wondering…" Dan starts, flashing her this ridiculous looking smile that's apparently meant to flatter her. "Would you like to go to Homecoming with me?"

Oh, please. Fuck this.

"See ya, B," Faith tells her dismissively as she closes her locker, starting to walk away from her. The last thing she needed was to hear about that stupid dance again, it's when all the trouble started.

"I…" Buffy starts, looking a little overwhelmed with Dan asking her out when she's trying to talk to Faith. "I can't, I'm gay," she tells him suddenly and distractedly before turning and exclaiming, "Faith, wait!"

Faith freezes. She heard what she just said to Dan, and apparently Buffy didn't realize it slipped out until it was too late. Her face turned almost as white as a sheet.

Dan laughed, "You're what? Come on, stop kidding around. My dad got me this sweet car for my birthday, you'd be riding in style if you—"

"Faith, come to Homecoming with me," Buffy says abruptly, like the words just flew out of her mouth with seemingly no permission from her brain. She completely ignored Dan, who was now looking at her like he really couldn't believe he was baring witness to a lesbian moment. He didn't look entirely pleased about it either, since he was shot down because of it.

So much for Buffy's popularity.

Faith slowly turns around to face her fully, not really knowing what the hell she's supposed to say to that. Some students stopped what they were doing to watch; having heard Buffy's proposal. Buffy's cheeks are flushed in embarrassment, but she doesn't back down. She isn't going to do this halfway if she's going to do it at all, apparently. Even so, Faith notices that Buffy's hand has started shaking.

"Please," she adds softly. "If not as like… a date date, then just as friends. But I… I want to go with you."

Faith runs her fingers through her hair, feeling really awkward about being put on the spot like this. Everyone's fucking staring. And while she doesn't give a crap about what they think about her, she knows Buffy does. What she just did… that was fucking huge. Come tomorrow, everyone was going to be talking about how Buffy was gay. She doesn't know if Buffy can handle something like that, but there's no backing out now.

What's worse is that Faith can't reject her after she just basically shouted her sexuality for everyone to hear; she'd be the biggest asshole ever.

Fuck.

"Yeah," she replies, trying to shrug it off like it was no big deal. "Fine, whatever." She doesn't want to have the rumors circulating tomorrow that Buffy's gay and that she got rejected by the biggest lesbian slut in the school. That'd be a really shitty thing for Buffy to deal with and already she was gonna have to deal with a lot after something like this.

Buffy looks surprised that Faith actually said yes. "Okay well… good. That's… that's good," she stutters a little, forcing a smile even though it was obvious she felt uncomfortable. "See you at lunch then?" she asks, fiddling with her top self-consciously.

"Sure," Faith replies, feeling awkward herself. She watches Buffy purse her lips and nod before she turns, practically fleeing into the lunchroom to get away from all of the witnesses.

Fuck. This probably isn't going to end well. And shit, now she's going to have to buy a stupid dress; she doesn't have the money for that.

But there's no backing out of it now. Besides, a little part of her wanted this. After all, she wouldn't have said yes to Buffy's previous proposal about the dance if she didn't. It was just fucking confusing though, all of it. Were the two of them even capable of just being friends? It didn't seem like it. But Faith wasn't capable of a relationship either, so where the fuck did that leave them?

Whatever. Too many deep thoughts.

Faith ignores everyone's stares as she heads into the lunchroom. She notices Buffy seated with Willow, Tara, and Kennedy, but doesn't go over there right away. She needed to get food to eat her feelings first. Thank god for her high metabolism. Besides, Buffy looked hella distressed as she held her head in her hand, elbow on the table, shaking her head as she talked to her friends. The realization of what she just did must have finally hit her.

Ain't no turning back to for her either. But coming out could be good for Buffy. Sure it's gonna suck at first, almost always does, but better to be honest about who you want to fuck then lie about it. Lying is liable to eventually drive you bat shit crazy.

As Faith walks over to the lunch line, she notices Xander standing amidst the crowded room, staring off into space again. Christ, what has this kid gotten himself into? If it's drugs, he's really gotta lay off. Shit's clearly fucking with his head a little too much.

"Xander!" Faith exclaims as she comes up behind him. Xander jumps about a mile as Faith startles him out of his staring contest with… whatever the hell he was staring at.

"What?" he shouts, like he just got caught masturbating by his parents. At least, that was the best comparison Faith could come up with for how guilty he looked right now. She crosses her arms over her chest.

"What's up?" she asks him pointedly, raising an eyebrow.

"Me? Nothing, I'm doing nothing!" Then he coughed, realizing that wasn't even her question. He looks a little awkward as he corrects himself, "I mean… nothing's up. Except maybe the sky and—"

"Xander," Faith interrupts flatly. She gives him a look that makes him look a little sheepish. "What the fuck drugs have you been smoking? Seriously. You've been wacked out for like a week."

"Nothing! No drugs. I am as drug free as a… okay I can't think of anything that rhymes with free that would make sense, but you know what I mean," Xander replies, rambling to try to distract Faith. It doesn't work.

"Then what's up? You're always staring off into space like a stoner, dude."

"Nothing! There's nothing. Nothing at all. My life is boring. Lame and… boring," he falters, looking unsure of himself. "I said that already." He sighs when he takes notice of the look on Faith's face. "You're not buying this are you?"

"Not even a little," Faith tells him, smirking. She nudes him with her shoulder a little, prodding, "Come on; just tell me what's goin' on. We're friends, man."

He sighs, turning to look out at the crowd of people in the lunchroom. He doesn't say anything so Faith follows his gaze, trying to figure out what's got him acting like this. It seemed to be only at school, so it's gotta be something or someone here, right? Jeez, if Xander's got himself a crush then—

Faith's train of thought stops once she realizes what he's looking at; the popular kids table. Mainly, Cordelia, Harmony, and all those other anorexic bitches. "Oh, Jesus," she groans, which makes Xander turn to look at her quickly. "Don't tell me ya got a hard on for one those nasty sluts."

"Me? No! No, why would you…? That's crazy…! They're… no!" and then he starts doing the 'head laugh'; you know the one – overdramatic, loud, and head tilted too far back to even be natural. In short, the laugh to cover shit up. Faith just looks at him, disgusted.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Faith asks bluntly, putting her hands on her hips. "Ain't none of those bitches worth even half of your time. I mean, shit, Cordelia especially—"

"Shhh!" Xander hisses at her, grabbing her arm and pulling her away just as Cordelia stands up, heading right for them. Faith rolls her eyes but stays quiet, not wanting to embarrass Xander just in case Cordelia ended up overhearing them.

Faith thought she was just going to walk by, but Cordelia actually stops in front of them. Faith raises her eyebrow at her expectantly. What the hell did she want?

"Are you two losers done staring at me?" she asks with her snobby little attitude as she throws her leftover food away, putting the tray back where it belongs. "Because I wouldn't want people to think we actually knew each other."

Excuse her? She came up to them.

"The mac and cheese, huh?" Faith mentions, taking notice of what was left on her plate that she just threw out. "No wonder you've been looking a little pudgier. You really gotta cut down on those carbs, Cor. Your fingers are gonna start lookin' like sausages. But hey, that might be an improvement. Bigger shit to fill that gaping cunt of yours, that's for sure."

"Excuse you? Nobody rang your buzzer, halftime hooker," Cordelia told her with an eye roll and a scoff before she mentioned, "Whatever, I don't have time for this. I left my book in math class anyway; I need to go get it." Why the fuck would they care where she left her stupid book? But she doesn't have much time to think about that, because Cordelia goes on, "Some of us are planning to graduate, Faith, not just become waitresses at Hooters."

Whatever. Hooters would kill to have her, just for the record. With tits like these? BAM, bitch.

But just as Cordelia leaves, she notices the look shared between her and Xander. Faith's mouth drops open just as Cordelia walks from the lunch room, and Xander turns around and says, "I have to go. I… er, have to get something from my locker."

Faith really hopes they got sucked into some kind of alternate universe, because the conclusion she's rapidly coming to is not pretty.

"Oh no," she starts slowly, waving her hands at him. "Oh hell fucking no!" Faith exclaimed, her voice loud enough to get a few students attention. Xander's eyes go wide, fearing she's about to start screaming her theories all over the lunch room, so he grabs her arm and pulls her outside into the hall. It was deserted except for a few students way down the other end.

"Tell me you're not," Faith starts, her voice low and dangerous. "Xander, fuckin' tell me you're not!"

"Not what?" Xander asks, still trying to get around it. But there was no getting around this.

"Fucking her!" Faith practically shouts. Xander's eyes go wide and he shakes his hands erratically in front of him.

"No, no! I'm not, I swear!"

"Then what the fuck was that, Xand? She comes up and 'casually' mentions where she's going to be, and then you try to slip out with some bullshit excuse of your own? I'm not fucking stupid, Xander. You think I haven't pulled that shit in my life before? How the fuck… Why the…?" she couldn't even get the questions out, they all sounded so ridiculous. Xander and Cordelia. It didn't even make sense. Cordelia hated all of them, and all of them hated Cordelia!

"It's not what you think," Xander says hastily, looking a little worried that Faith was going to implode and take him and half the school out with her.

"Then what the fuck is it?" Faith demands.

"We just… it just happened!" Xander exclaims, both nervous and ashamed. He looks like he wants to run, but he knows better; he can't outrun Faith.

"What just happened, exactly?" Faith asks. "What, did she slip and fall on your dick one day?"

"We're not having sex!"

"Are you mentally deficient?" Faith exclaims. "She treats you like shit; she treats all of us like shit! Can't you keep your dick in check for one fucking minute?"

"Oh, as opposed to you, the girl that sleeps with every woman she meets, breaking hearts along the way?" Xander retorts. "Half the women in this town hate you, Faith."

"That's different!"

"How?"

"Because I don't fuck bitches that are cunts to us!"

"You slept with Harmony!" Xander shouts, which makes Faith stop for a second. Fuck, yeah she did. He's got her there. She doesn't have a comeback for that, so she chooses to just glare at him instead. This is ridiculous. This didn't even make sense.

"How did this even happen?" she asks, completely confused. Nothing against Xander, but he didn't exactly seem like Cordelia's type. He wasn't popular, he wasn't a jock. He was just… he was just Xander.

"It's… a long story," Xander mutters, looking down at the ground.

"Yeah? Well I got time," Faith says, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at him expectantly. She couldn't wait to hear this cracked out little fairytale.

"Look… can we please talk about this later?" Xander asks pleadingly. "I just… I need to…"

"You know what? Fine. Whatever. Go have fun suckin' face with the devil wearin' prada. Ain't none of my business," Faith dismisses him, starting to walk away. Whatever, if that two faced bitch is more important than his friends? Then… fucking whatever. He can have his fun. Watch her give a shit.

"No, Faith, wait!" Xander calls after her, but she doesn't look back. She doesn't want to deal with it anymore; she already has enough to deal with as it is.

Shit. This whole fucking world really has gone backwards.

TBC…