Hurricane


Chapter Twenty-Nine: Colder Heavens


Sometimes I get the feeling I'm lost
Just hiding it is never enough
Now I find in every mirror a ghost
Only once I saw the killer
Once I saw the killer up close

- Blanco White

(Colder Heavens)


For what felt like the hundredth time that night, Cammie felt someone grab her arm and drag her away from whatever she'd been in the middle of doing. Cammie was ready to shake off her assailant but she caught the familiar dark hair and olive skin relaxed; though she noticed Zach's grip on her was anything but gentle. Maybe the alcohol had gotten to him. It had, evidently, gotten to everyone else. She'd seen drunk stumbling around like they'd been paid to do so.

He dragged her down the hallway without saying anything. They passed rows of people and she obediently followed him, feeling like she saw familiar faces in the crowds. He was tugging her too quickly for her to really glimpse anyone.

Cammie, instead of questioning him, let him yank her along. She figured he was going to throw her against a wall and ravish her again. She wouldn't be particularly upset if he did. Her conversations with Carmen and Isa had been monumentally unhelpful: she'd listened to Isa whine about "Leon" for the better part of an hour. They were running out time and Cammie felt hopeless. They weren't going to find what they were looking for. If the best she could get out of it was hooking up with Zach on what might be the last night of their lives, she'd take it. Who knew what would happen next?

Zach opened a door and pulled her shamelessly inside, though there'd been no one to see. They'd passed the last person hallways ages ago. It was getting late in the night and the party was beginning to die. He slammed the door behind him and Cammie took his loud actions as passion, wondering if he wanted it rough. The space was some sort of coat closet but there was enough room to maneuver. Cammie felt herself get butterflies and desire with anticipation.

Zach threw her against the far wall, non to gently, and Cammie would've complained apart from the fact was the next thing she felt were Zach's hands latching onto her throat, effectively cutting of any words she might've said.

Her eyes went wide when she realized this was not a passionate Zach, wanting desperately to have sex with her in a dark room.

This was an angry Zach, wanting desperately to cut off her air supply in a dark room.

The butterflies seemed to cocoon themselves at once.

Cammie choked and her hands shot up to try to push him off of her. She failed, her hands uselessly clawing at any piece of skin she could reach.

"You fucking bitch," he snarled at her and Cammie had never seen anyone look so angry in her life. The dim light in the room was enough for her to glimpse the unmistakable rage on his face. Whatever Zach had been up to while she was wasting away listening to Isa's pathetic boy problems had clearly given him one conclusion. And that was to kill his girlfriend.

Zach, she tried to say, but the words wouldn't come out. They couldn't; his hands were wrapped too tightly around her throat. She was beginning to see black.

The last thing she was going to hear before she died was: you fucking bitch. Cammie didn't think it was entirely inappropriate. She was after all, a fucking bitch, though she was curious as to why he thought so.

She didn't know if he said anything else. Her senses were beginning to dull; she wasn't sure what was happening anymore. She scratched and kicked but it didn't matter; he was too determined, too strong.

Finally, when her vision had all but gone, the pain disappeared, as did the pressure. But his hands were still around her neck in a trap. The anger in his eyes hadn't lessened an inch. When her vision returned she realized he was screaming at her. She hadn't noticed her hearing had dissipated as well. Strings of curses flew from his mouth like they were water coming down a trough. She gasped for breath, wondering what was going on and what kind of hellish nightmare she'd just found herself in.

Zach was unhinged, white hot anger burning through both of them like it was going to starve the world of any joy.

"Zach," she managed to rasp, her voice so hoarse she could barely recognize it. "What happened?"

"What happened?" The pressure was back, although not as tightly as before. It came and went quickly, though it was enough to suck more breath from Cammie.

She wanted to fight him again but she didn't know how. She was completely at his mercy; too stunned and out of breath to think coherently. "You fucking. . . You destroyed me. You. . . That's what fucking happened."

"Please," she gasped. She realized his breath was just as heavy as hers. She could feel his pulse hammering away in his hands pressed against her throat. He was breathing like he was the one that had nearly been suffocated to death. "Please."

He moved his hands from her neck only to grab her wrists and pin them against the wall. He sealed his body against hers to immobilize her legs so she couldn't get a knee up to kick him in the groin. Their new position put them into antagonizing proximity.

When Zach spoke again, low in her ear, the anger was abruptly gone from his voice. "You went to Charleston this weekend."

The words had the effect they were meant to. Cammie's body instantly went cold despite the heat of the small dark closet and Zach's body radiating into hers.

"Oh," was all she said, as if it all had become very clear in a matter of moments.

Her shadows had caught up with her. In fact, they were about to consume her.

And her intentions had become transparent had. Zach knew. Zach knew Tibey wasn't dead. He knew she'd lied. He knew she was monster. He knew. And he probably guessed she'd done all that lying to protect her family. To protect her mother.

"That's all you have to say?" The anger was back. "Oh?"

She sighed. She felt like crying. Like breaking down and letting Zach treat her however he wanted. If he wanted to kick her, beat her, scream at her until she couldn't hear; she would let him. She loved the boy pressed against her and she knew she'd just lost him. Lost him forever because of her selfish lies.

But she was a spy. Arguably one of the great ones. That meant keeping a level head. Even when her body was screaming at her to break. Even when her heart felt like it'd been through a shredder and set unforgivingly on fire. Even when her stomach wanted to retch the black tar that her soul had become.

"Zach," she said, her voice sounding more calm and clinical then she ever imagined it could be. "Please step back, I'm not going to fight you. You're right."

She hoped her calm exterior was enough to settle him. She figured it might fuel his anger but he was acting irrationally and she was not. The only thing that kept her from sinking to the ground and never getting up again was logic.

He released his grip on her and stepped away. Zach, after all, was a killer no longer, and he wasn't going to let Cameron Morgan be the one to send him back to his hell in the Circle. She didn't have the right; he wouldn't let her.

You're right.

As if he needed her confirmation.

His eyes blazed as they stared at each other. Cammie reached up to touch her throat, still feeling his hands suffocating her. She didn't think it was a feeling she'd ever forget. Zach saw the red angry marks his hands had left. He felt a stab of shame but it was replaced with satisfaction and then disappointment. He'd hurt her. But not enough. Not even close to how she'd hurt him.

A silence stretch between them that was not only palpable, but cruel in the rawest sense of the word.

Cammie didn't want to speak first.

Zach didn't want to speak at all. He wanted to yell until he ripped her integrity and personality apart. Until he destroyed everything that was left of her. Until she felt like she'd made him feel: stupid, foolish, used, humiliated. Until she knew the betrayal; the heart wrenching, soul gripping betrayal she'd shown him.

Something held him back.

Cammie took a long, staggered breath. She was trying not to cry. To crumble into a mess at his feet.

"Will you let me explain?"

Apparently almost choking the life out of her had reigned his temper. He was still angry when he spoke, though it was cringingly robotic.

"I'm not in the mood to hear more lies. Actually, I don't think I ever will be." His clipped tone made her want to cower but she didn't. She was stronger than that, better than that.
Before she could stop herself she thought back to about an hour earlier, when he'd pressed himself against her in a totally different manner and told her he loved her. He'd meant it; every word, every thought, every feeling. Which, perhaps, was why he was so uncontrollably angry.

"I wasn't going to lie."

"Is that a lie?"

"No."

"God, you got me good," Zach suddenly said, his eyes looking crazed; he didn't look himself at all. He was a wild animal: unpredictable and unafraid, with nothing to lose.

"I didn't get anything," Cammie snapped suddenly, realizing those words were the truest thing she'd said all night. She hadn't gotten anything. In fact, she'd just lost a whole lot. More than she'd ever be able to tell him.

"How did you sleep at night?" Zach demanded, his eyes ablaze again. "We've slept in the same bed for weeks. I thought. . ." He trailed off, sounding disgusted. "How do you live with yourself? You lied about your cancerous sister dying." He spat. "If ever there were a line. . . And I know that's just the beginning. It's all been a lie. It's always all been a lie." His words were edged with malice and aversion.

Cammie didn't let his words touch her. She couldn't. "Because I had to." Her answer was even and her words had a calm to them even she didn't expect.

"Right," he said and let out a strangled laugh that made Cammie flinch. "To get me to stop asking questions. So you could do this. So you could light the world on fire. For Rachel. For them."

"No," Cammie cut in, unwilling to let him believe that. He could think she was a bitch girlfriend, a bitch sister, a bitch mission partner. But she would not let him believe she was a bitch traitor. Helping Rachel was the last thing she wanted. And if she could only make him understand one thing right now; it was that.

"Was any of it true?" Zach asked, his voice hoarse and twisted. The anger in his eyes still pulsed but there was a new emotion too, one that made Cammie's heart want to break with the weight of the damage she'd caused. There was raw agony hiding in his eyes. He was broken. She'd broken him. The guilt that was leaking into every cavity of her consciousness somehow got thicker. She'd broken her already broken boy. She couldn't fathom the damage she'd done; it was irreversible. The scars made were to deep to ever heal.

"I need you to let me explain." The words were breath. A whisper. A plea.

The agony stripped from his eyes and he put a mask on. Even the anger was gone, although that wasn't a relief. The cold face Zach had put on was unnerving, reminding Cammie of his mother. And worse: her mother.

"I need you to answer everything I ask you."

Cammie let out a breath. "Ok."

"What is the Lexicon?"

"It' a list," Cammie said. "Like Caesar told you."

His expression was brittle.

"Cameron I am not fucking around anymore. Either you tell me everything now or I take you into custody and you can tell the CIA. You can explain it to them while you're locked in a cell."

Cammie wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream.

Instead she said, "them? You know who is part of them, right?"

His fingers were suddenly back around his throat. Clearly, the mere allusion to Rachel triggered him. Evidently, it had been the wrong thing to say.

"Of course I do," he growled. She stared at him, wondering how he'd become so animalistic. This Zach was so far away from any she'd ever known.

She coughed and he seemed to back off, he let his hands drop. A brief moment of guilt passed through him but it was gone before she had a chance to actually register it.

"Tell me everything."

"I don't even know where to start." She didn't, there were a million and one thoughts running around in her head and she didn't know which one was the most important to say.

"Well you better figure it out." He'd taken a step away from her, his hands in fists at his side.

Cammie decided to separate her emotions for the moment. She could deal with them later. Likely alone. They still needed to get the Lexicon and that was more important than their relationship could ever be.

"I didn't know it was called the Lexicon until you said it but yes, I knew what it was," she finally said after moment of lulling different statements in her head.

"Which is?" Cammie almost breathed a sigh of relief, he no longer sounded angry. Just impatient.

"It's an electronic database," she said, like she'd told him before. This time she added the rest. "It's updated nightly with the names of circle members across the world. Everyone that's ever been a part of it, from the hit-men to the ring leaders. And with each name comes a nice full description of every act, crime, and whatever else associations with the circle they've ever done. For instance, every time my mother had a phone call with a circle member, every time she sent one of the bloody reds, every time she's done anything that had anything at all to do with the circle," she paused, watching him absorb the information. "You can see why everyone wants their hands on it."

Zach wasn't looking at her. Cammie felt the reprieve, his eyes had been drilling into her with such an intensity that the absence of his gaze made her feel physically lighter.

"My name is on that list."

Cammie didn't hide her surprise. She'd never really thought about it. She'd only thought about her name being on that list. It hadn't once crossed her mind to think about what he'd done. Obviously she'd been too selfish to consider anyone else but herself. She wanted to thwack herself on the head for her selfish nature and stupidity.

"You already have immunity," Cammie eventually said. "There's nothing the CIA will do to you."

Zach eyes suddenly met hers. The emotion there surprised her yet again. It was a vulnerable self hatred that she was use to seeing in the mirror, though not on Zach.

"It's not about the CIA," he said. He didn't elaborate and Cammie didn't ask him to.

"What else?" he finally said.

"What else?" she repeated.

"What else haven't you told me. About the Lexicon. About Rachel. About you. About anything."

"I'm not trying to sabotage this mission Zach," she said. Her words were sincere and candid; because it was the truth, for once. She may have done it, but her intentions had never been bad. "I don't want her to win. I just thought. . ."

When he looked back at her she felt like a child cowering in a corner. There was so much ire and acrimony that it felt physically overwhelming. She'd never even seen hate like this. And had certainly never been on the receiving end of anything like it. It was strangely humanizing, as though she'd just realized this was real life and real people and feelings.

"You thought what?"

"I thought I could do it on my own," she replied. "You're not going to believe me, and that's fine. I suppose it doesn't matter at this point, but I'm still going to get it off my chest." He didn't say anything, just stared at her with uncomfortable, unblinking eyes. She continued. "I thought I was protecting you. I didn't want my mom to come after you. If she knew you were looking for the Lexicon she would have taken you out in a second. I don't know why, I've told her otherwise, but she thinks you're in league with your mother- sorry, sister. She thinks you're trying to get to her through me and that you've been looking for the Lexicon the whole time. So if she got proof you were looking for it now she would've destroyed you," Cammie glanced away, though only for a moment. "Will," she corrected herself, quietly. "She will destroy you."

Zach, to his credit, hadn't interrupted whatsoever. He'd just listened with impassive features that made her want to squirm. His stare was blank.

"And what was your plan then? Aside from leaving me in the dark?"

"I . . ." She trailed off. "I wanted to find it. Just have it and then. . . Then I was going to decide. I didn't know what I would do when I got it. I still don't."

His stare had turned accusing. "You'd give it to her?"

Cammie shook her head. "No." The word was firm, sure. It didn't give him room to argue.

"But you wouldn't give it to the CIA?" The look on his face told her he didn't understand. Couldn't understand why she'd been so indecisive about the whole thing.

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

She looked away. That was the one question she didn't want to answer. She was being selfish. She knew. But it was hard not to. She didn't want to sacrifice herself; to give up everything she'd worked for. Being a spy. Having her family. Zach. Working her way up in the world. There were so many reasons to find that list and just toss it in the ocean. All of them in her self interest.

"Why not?" he asked again.

Cammie couldn't look at him. She could handle the anger. She'd stood her ground, she hadn't cried, she hadn't fallen to pieces.

But answering his question honestly wouldn't result in anger.

It would result in devastation. He'd see her for the monster she truly was. What she had done. What she was trying to cover up. The fact that she cared more about herself then anyone else.

"We don't have much time left," Cammie said, hoping he wouldn't press her. "We won't get another chance to get it."

"Don't you dare say 'we.' There isn't a 'we' anymore. I'm starting to think there never was. Regardless, if you think I'm going to let you anywhere near the Lexicon you are dead wrong."

Her eyes finally met his again.

"That's a mistake."

"No," he said, his eyes so hard and unforgiving she almost cringed. Her stomach tightened and she felt ill. "Trusting you was a mistake. I don't plan on making any more."

She looked to the ground, subdued. "I'll do whatever you ask."

If he was surprised by her compliance, he didn't acknowledge it. "You don't know where it is? What it looks like?"

"Only that Carmen and Isa supposedly have it. I was trying to get into their rooms to look around but it didn't go so well. Isa wouldn't shut up about stupid Leon. And I can't very well ask them for some super secret hard drive I'm not even meant to know about. So no. I don't know where it is. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know how to get it. I just know if we don't get it tonight we are all screwed one way or another."

He looked as her questioningly.

"My mother will find out we know about it. She's got spies everywhere. You'll be dead come morning. I'll be locked away rotting until she finds some use for me again. Grant will probably be dead. Maybe Preston. Maybe Macey. Definitely Tessa."

"Aren't you just a ray of sunshine?"

Suddenly she glared at him, insulted by his sarcasm more than she had been by his anger and derogatory comments.

"Maybe my attitude has something to do with the fact you nearly strangled the life out of me," her words were dead and cold. Zach looked slightly taken aback but he hid it well. The brief contrite look in his eyes gave her satisfaction and weirdly, reassurance. It was good to know human Zach was in there somewhere.

Before Zach could answer, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say anyway, there was a knock on the door.

Cammie and Zach exchanged confused glances. They were in a closet after all, and who would be knocking on a closet door?

"Should we open it?" Cammie mouthed to him, wondering if this was some kind of trap; if they'd been made and they were about to fight for their lives.

"Cammie. We know you and Zach are in there. Can you two please come out now?"

Cammie didn't hesitate in reaching for the door. The voice belonged to her best friend. And if she couldn't trust Bex, she couldn't trust anyone.

Zach grabbed her arm, though it wasn't with nearly as much force as he'd use on her before. She still flinched and for a moment she saw sheer regret reflected in his eyes.

"Well be out in a second," Zach called through the door. To Cammie he lowered his voice and said "take your hair down."

Cammie wasn't confused by his request. She could tell by his gaze on her collarbone that there was already bruising; redness that couldn't be mistaken. Putting her hair down wouldn't hide it, but it would distract long enough so that people's eyes didn't go immediately to it. The least it would do was buy them some time.

She reached back and released the pins and clips holding her hair, shaking it out in a vain attempt to allow it to lay flat despite the copious amounts of hairspray she'd use.

Zach didn't say sorry. He didn't apologize. Though there was something in his demeanor that portrayed shame and she saw him swallow thickly. She looked away. They didn't have time for this.

They opened the door, surprised to see Grant next to Bex. Jonas next to him. Liz next to Jonas. And standing behind all of them was Abby Cameron.

:*:*:*:

Joe shouldered his way through crowds of drunken idiots.

He didn't want to talk to them.

He didn't want to look at them.

He didn't even want to be there.

But there he was, trailblazing his way through tropes of horrible human beings he would rather not be around.

He was supposed to be done with this stuff.

He was supposed to be retired.

All he wanted was to be at home with his wife and his kids.

Instead, he was at this damn "charity" event for drug lords and circle members.

He'd seen Zach and Cammie hours ago, talking to their respective targets. He hadn't interfered. He knew Zach wouldn't be pleased to see him and it would put Cammie on edge. And he got the idea that she already was.

Anyway, they'd all see him soon enough.

He turned the corner and noticed Eduardo Diaz talking to four other dealers from his network. Joe didn't approach. Joe had never had the displeasure of actually meeting the man, but he knew enough. When he'd been on assignment with the Goode's, Catherine spoke of him briefly. Enough for him to flag it but not enough to pursue. He should've pursued. They may have found the Lexicon years earlier. Hindsight is 20/20 though, isn't it?

Joe walked by the men slowly but anonymously, knowing exactly how to blend. There were enough straggling party goers for him not to look out of place.

The conversation was taking place in Spanish but it didn't faze Joe. He knew thirteen different languages fluently, and Spanish would obviously be one of them.

". . . asking about the Lexicon. He mentioned Natasha and her lot. I think he's after it."

"Why?"

"I don't know. . ."
Eduardo sounded frustrated. "I can tell you're drunk, brother. Are you sure you're not imagining this?"

"You're the paranoid one," the other man replied. "I'm just telling you what happened."

They were all quite for a moment.

"He won't find it," he continued. "That's why I had it made into gifts for the girls. To disguise it. Sometimes I even wonder if they. . ."

The rest of the words trailed away as Joe continued walking. He'd heard enough anyway, hearing anymore would require doubling back, and then they'd really be paranoid.

He kept walking, knowing he'd run into the other agents soon, hoping he'd have useful information to relay.

:*:*:*:

"What are you doing here?"

Her question was directed at Bex, but she was curious about the others too. Mainly Abby, who was meant to be on assignment somewhere in South Africa.

Bex's expression didn't give anything away. "We thought you might need some backup."

"But. . ."

Cammie looked to her aunt, wondering if she would shed any light.

Abby shrugged. "Don't ask me. I ran into them right before we got here, looking for you."

"How did any of you get in?" Cammie asked, briefly wondering what 'we' Abby meant. "It took Zach, Grant, and me weeks of covert ops to get an invitation."
Bex shrugged, looking uninterested. "They don't lock their windows."

"I was invited," Jonas piped up. "Just not under CIA business."

Cammie looked at him oddly but didn't question him.

"I'm his plus one," Liz said quietly. Cammie almost smiled, despite the situation, at her friend's shy beauty.

"Did you get an invite too then Abby?" Cammie asked.

Abby didn't look amused. In fact, she looked very stressed.

"How about you accept help instead of questioning it?"

Cammie narrowed her eyes. "I suppose I'm not accustomed to getting help from you when I really need it."

It was a low blow, designed to hurt. Especially in front of so many people. Abby's lips twitched.

She said, "I'm here now."

Cammie wasn't sure how much of difference that made though she didn't argue.

Suddenly Liz let out a gasp. "Cammie."

She looked over at the blonde girl, wondering what had made her voice shrink. Liz was staring at her neck with a look of horror.

Cammie swallowed and looked away, feeling tears in her eyes. It almost felt worse now, seeing her innocent friend react to such violence, than it had during Zach's assault. "Your neck."

Now everyone's eyes were on her throat, anger and disbelief growing in each face as realization dawned. Zach had his eyes trained on the ground, his hands clenched in fists. He knew he looked like the bad guy. And in some ways he was. But rage and betrayal seemed to be able to do these things in such impossible circumstances.

Cammie touched her collarbone, feeling the tender skin and muscle there. It was already swelling. It hurt under the brevity of her soft fingers.

She coughed and didn't meet anyone's eyes.

"It's nothing," she finally said. "We have more important things to worry about right now."

Everyone managed to look away, though the silence that followed was hard. They were all agents though. They knew the mission came above all, no matter what had happened. The fact was: right now they needed to find the Lexicon. Cammie was alive and breathing, as they all were. So the rest could wait.

"Did you find the Lexicon?" Grant asked, hoping to distract and diffuse tensions. He eyes were bright with some kind of anger, mostly directed at Zach.

"No," Zach said, and Cammie had almost forgotten he was there. His eyes finally slid back to Cammie, still rough with ire. "And it's unlikely we will."

"We need to split up," Cammie suggested.

"You're not leaving my sight," Zach growled, earning more dark looks in his direction. He didn't care. He wasn't about to let her sabotage the mission to play nice. There was more at stake then these people's precious feelings and concerns.

"We can go in groups," she said, knowing it would be pointless to try and argue. He wouldn't let her off on her own until the Lexicon was safe with the CIA. For some reason, she found that thought comforting.

"Abby you go with Jonas and Liz," Cammie said, her voice taking on an air of superiority, forcing everyone to remember she was one of the best spies of her generation, that she still knew how to hold authority. "She'll help you guys out covertly, you can stay in the ballroom and keep and eye on things. Grant and Bex take east side, Zach and I will take the west. If anyone sees Carmen or Isa text me immediately. There's no use in trying to dart around it, I'm going to have to confront them."

"We'll look for Caesar or Eduardo," Grant said, seeming confident. "Or any other associates, see if we can pump them for information."

Cammie nodded. "Don't worry about getting compromised either. It might be a bit futile at this point. We'll either get it or we won't. But it's happening tonight."

Everyone nodded and split off. Abby hanging back before heading off.

Cammie met her presence with a glare.

"Cammie I know you think this all rests on you but you aren't alone. I know I've let you down. I don't want to do that again. But don't think you're at fault here,"

Abby's eyes slid briefly to Zach, as if she knew exactly what he'd done, what he'd thought. "We've all done things we wish we could change. Regrets we'd rather not remember."

The words resonated deeply with each of them, although in different ways.

"Well isn't this a fun party?" Joe's Solomon's voice had a cruel humor in it, as though he knew his sudden presence would disrupt the entire evening. He knew full well that this was not a fun party.

Zach's expression had frozen on his face. He couldn't believe it. He was sure he was in a nightmare, his own personal hell. First Cammie's lies, and now the only man he'd ever thought of as a father, who'd betrayed him, was standing before him. The world couldn't be this cruel. Zach wasn't religious, but maybe God was testing him.

Cammie looked confused, wondering why her uncle has suddenly shown up; he was meant to be retired. She knew enough to know his presence was bad news.

Zach's abrupt laughter made them all jump. It was a scratching cackle; unlike any sound Cammie had ever heard. It made her shift away from him. Joe wasn't meeting Zach's eyes.

"Christ," he said. "Did you two fucking orchestrate a way to make my life a living nightmare? I don't think I've ever felt worse in my entire life than right now."

The words were raw and vulnerable, cutting both Cammie and Joe to the core. They were both at fault. They'd both betrayed Zach in the worse kind of ways. It was difficult to determine who had done more damage.

Joe finally looked at him. "Zach-"

"Fuck you."

The words were sincere and dripping with hate. Cammie was almost relieved that she wasn't on Zach's kill list alone. Though she didn't know what her uncle had done to earn a spot.

She knew they didn't have time for questions.

"I don't know what's going on here, but no- we're not trying to make your life harder. The world isn't out to get you. And we need to find the Lexicon, so can we please just get moving?"

Zach was unsettled by her ability to be so cold. Abby looked at her strangely too. Cammie rolled her eyes. This is what made spies weak. Having a breakdown in the middle of the mission was never going to be good for anyone. It could wait. It could always wait.

"I can't go anywhere with him,"

"Ok if you're going to be dramatic, me and you will take one way, and they can take another. Fair?" She sounded impatient.

"Wait," Joe said. "The girls. Caesar. His daughters. They have it."

Zach almost scoffed. "We knew that already. Thanks for the help."

"As a gift. He said he made it into a gift for them. Well, gifts."

Cammie, who had been glancing around, looking for the best route out of there, suddenly focused her eyes on her uncle.

The gifts had been the thing to catch her attention, but as she looked at her uncle, her need to know what he was doing there began to outweigh her need to fulfil the need to find Isa and Carmen.

"Gifts?" Zach asked. "Like wh-"

"What are you doing here?" Cammie suddenly asked, looking at Joe directly. She hadn't seen him in months. Partly because of the falling out with her aunt. But it was even before that. Joe Solomon was a ghost, sometimes Cammie hardly believed he existed, not to mention he was meant to be out of commission. It wasn't right that he was here. There was no reason for him to be here.

Joe looked a little taken aback at her blunt and direct tone, but recovered quickly. "I don't think you have the clearance for that one Cammie."

"God fucking dammit. She's here. Isn't she? That's why you two are here."

Abby and Joe didn't try to tell her she was wrong. Which meant she was right.

"Wonderful."

She turned on her heel and started strutting away before anyone could tell her to stop. Zach was rooted to his spot, glaring at Joe and desperately wondering what was going on. He was trying to piece everything together in his head, but nothing seemed to fit.

Finally, he looked at Joe. "Stay out of my way, and for fuck's sake don't screw me over again."

He turned to follow Cammie, knowing there was no way he was going to let her out of his sight.

She was marching on, clearly determined to finish her plan. Whatever it may be.

He jogged a bit to catch up with her.

"What's the plan princess?"

She shot him a look, and when she turned he caught sight of the purpling skin that lay on her neck. He clenched his hands at his sides, knowing he'd regret it, but tried not to think about it.

"Gifts," she replied.

"Gonna have to elaborate."

"The necklaces."

"Nope."

She rolled her eyes. "The Lexicon. It's in their necklaces. I noticed them earlier and thought they looked weird."

"The Lexicon is in their jewelry?"

She looked annoyed. "That's what I just said. Come on."

She was strutting at a pace he'd never seen her use before, didn't even know she had. But Zach supposed there was a lot he didn't know about Cammie. All she'd ever told him were lies.

"Do you know where they are?"

"I'm going to go Isa's room, she's upset about Leo or whoever so she's probably moping around," her tone was still annoyed and detached.

"Do you care about anyone?" He asked, without even meaning to.

Cammie kept walking in front of him, speeding ahead, though something in her posture went rigid.

"Am I suppose to care about our targets now?" She asked sarcastically. He couldn't see her face but he knew she'd asked a question rather then providing an actual answer. "Didn't realize that was part of protocol."

Zach suddenly stopped, sort of reaching an epiphany in his mind. He'd finally seen Cammie in a new light, and he had no idea how he'd missed it before. It was so obvious.

She heard his footsteps halt but didn't turn to look back. "Whatever you're going to go on about, don't. We don't have time."

"You're just like them."

Finally she stopped.

Neither of them spoke for a moment.

Slowly, Cammie turned around. Zach was looking at her with a look of surprise on his face, she didn't understand it. But she knew that whatever he was about to say was going to hurt her.

"You're just like them," he said again. "I can't believe I never noticed. It's just. . . so obvious."

"Like who?" she asked, though she knew. They both did.

"Your mother. My mother. Natasha."

Cammie's ability to shut it all off, to tune it out was what made a psychopath a psychopath. She was detached and cruel, even if it was unintentional. She had no regard for anything but herself and whatever task was at hand.

Cammie's face was impassive. "I am not."

He nearly laughed, but he shook his head instead. He took a step forward and didn't look at her. He'd had his epiphany; he'd shared it. He was ready to move on. He wasn't going to have a circle argument with her about it.

Cammie didn't move as he closed the distance between them. The words had struck her. He might not have realized, but she felt it deep in her bones; right to her core.

She touched his arm as he passed her. He stopped again to meet her eyes, they had glassed over.

"I'm not," she said quietly.

He looked from the tears in her eyes to the dark patches of skin growing ever darker on her neck. The bruised flesh was shining strangely in the light, and Zach had no idea if he believed her or not.

There was something about the way her lips were turned down and the shift of her eyes that made him uncomfortable staring any longer, to have the moment linger. Something he knew his mother or Natasha would never be able to accomplish.

So he turned away, feeling odd, and completely unsatisfied, although he didn't know why. He had, after all, just had an epiphany.

"Come on," he said. "We don't have much time."

:*:*:*:

"Isa?" Cammie said softly as she rapped on the door, Zach standing closely behind her, practically breathing down her neck.

"Cammie!" Isa said, sounding relieved. Footsteps hurried to open the door.

"Thank god you came back! I was just . . ." Her eyes fell on Zach. "Why did you bring Zach?"

Cammie step around Isa and into the room, seeing Carmen sitting on the couch looking uninterested.

"We need to come in for a second."

Isa looked confused but allowed Zach to pass and closed the door behind them.

"I think I'm missing something. Shouldn't you be doing business with my father?"

"On the contrary," Zach said. "My only business is with the two of you."

This caught Carmen's attention. She glanced from her phone.

"Cammie?" Carmen said, there was slight alarm in her voice. "What's going on?"

Cammie looked slightly annoyed. She'd obviously done her job well, too well. If the girls thought she was going to save them from this one, they were dead wrong.

"I'm going to need your necklaces."

Both of the girls reached up to clasp the pendants of their necklaces. "What? Why?"

Cammie could feel the butt of her gun pressing into her thigh. She was really hoping she wouldn't have to pull it out to intimidate them. Or worse, use it.
"Because I'm not who I say I am, and if you don't give them by choice we'll take them by force."

"These were gifts from our father," Carmen said indignantly.

"You have plenty of those. Giving two away won't kill you. And it certainly won't make a dent in your bank account, so why don't you just hand them to me."

Isa looked like she about to cry. "I thought you were our friend."

A flash of sympathy crossed Cammie's face, but it was gone before anyone saw it. She felt her stomach twist.

"You thought wrong. Necklaces. Now."

Isa began to reach for the clasp on hers.

"Isabella, no," Carmen said, her voice sounding as authoritative as Cammie had ever heard it. Isa's hand froze on the way up. "I always thought you were a snake. I should've listened to my instincts."

Cammie nodded. "You're probably right."

"Why are you doing this?" Isa asked.

"Because they're worth a lot of money. And I need a lot of money."

"I don't think so," Carmen said. "Papa said to take care of these gifts. That there was more to them than meets the eyes. I don't know what's going on here, but we aren't giving them to you. We've been taught how to protect ourselves."

Cammie looked to the ceiling in annoyance. Her hand found the handed of the gun in it's holster. Zach's fingers on her arm stopped her from pulling it out.

"Ladies," he said. "They're just heirlooms to you. They're the world to us. If you give them to us now, we'll leave quietly, and never take anything from your family. But if you don't. . . well we might have to keep coming back until there is nothing left."

"I thought you were rich."

"We all have our parts to play," he sighed. "It's either the necklaces now, or its everything later."

Isa and Carmen exchanged a look.

Isa took off her necklace and tossed it at the floor of Cammie's feet. She looked at her sister. Cammie picked up the necklace and snapped it into her clutch.

"Why did you do that?" Carmen hissed.

Isa glared back. "It's just a piece of jewelry, we didn't even like them. We only wore them because Papa told us to."

"Don't you think that there was a reason for that?" Carmen said, clutching the pendant desperately in her hand.

Isa shrugged. "I'm not getting mixed up in whatever he is in. You know it's not good. It isn't for me. It isn't for us. Carmen just give it to them, and they'll leave. We can forget this ever happened."

Isa turned to look at Cammie when she said this, hatred in her eyes.

It would make sense for Cammie not to feel anything when she caught the look of hatred from Isa, considering Zach had looked at her even more aggressively earlier in the evening. But seeing betrayal on Isa's face made Cammie want to shatter. It all felt so incredibly wrong. The girl was innocent, just caught in the middle of things. She was just a girl. And this betrayal would never leave her, and somehow Cammie found that really hard to accept.

Carmen sighed, clearly not willing to give up her life for a chunk of jewelry she didn't even like. Her eyes had fixated on Cammie's leg and Cammie shifted, knowing she'd seen the gun. Although begrudgingly, Carmen tossed it at Cammie's feet with disgust.

Cammie looked at it on the floor and then back at Carmen and Isa. It hurt to see them so angry. They had been her friends for so long, and she had, despite her inclination not to, grown attached to them.

Zach picked the second pendant up slipping it into the inside flank of his jacket, as Cammie seemed frozen. He tugged on her elbow. "Let's go."

"Isa . . ." Cammie started. Isa didn't look amused.

"Just go. For Dio's sake, I can't stand to look at you."

Zach pulled on her arm again.

"I just want to-"

"To what?" It was Carmen this time. "Explain? How about you explain why you have a gun strapped to your leg."

Cammie's eyes darted to her leg at the same time Isa's did.

"A gun?" Isa asked. "Who are you?"

"I just-" Zach pulled on her again. She knew it was time to go. "I am sorry. Really."

She knew the words were useless and meant nothing to the two sisters standing before her. But she had to say them. She meant what she said, and she just needed to get them out.

She allowed Zach to pull her down the hallway. They made it about ten yards before they heard another familiar voice.

"You serpiente, I should've known."

Zach's grip had tightened on her as they heard Eduardo's voice hiss down the hall.

"Fuck," Cammie muttered under her breath, her spy senses finally coming back to her.

"Let's go," Zach shot back and they broken into a run, hearing the shouts of Eduardo, Caesar and countless others behind them.

Cammie made the mistake of glancing back. They had guns. They all had guns.

Cammie could hear Isa and Carmen shouting in the background as well, but the adrenaline that was pounding in her ears was muting everything.

"PARA!"

"We will shoot."

"Guns," she said. "They have guns."

"Dios."

Zach had let go of her and was running on his own accord, gaining ground on her. She was, after all, wearing heals and a dress and already had shorter legs than him. They both heard the gunshots at the same time.

"Then hurry the fuck up!" He called without looking back.

She was exasperated with him, but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was how fast her feet would carry her. They were almost to the end of the hall, keeping low and running fast to avoid bullets as they flew past them. There was shouting everywhere and Cammie heard the distressed screaming of Isa and Carmen.

Zach reached the corner well before her, hiding behind it and poking his head back around to see if she'd caught up. Her heart was pounding erratically and her blood pumped impossibly through her veins. He held out his hand to snatch her and pull her behind the safety of the wall. Just as their fingertips met she felt the sharpest of pain shoot through her side she yelled loudly and lunged at him. Zach's hand connected with hers and he pulled her to him. They fell to the floor together, Cammie's heart working into overtime.

"Are you ok?!"

Cammie managed to nod, desperately trying to ignore the pain in her side.

"We have to keep moving."

Again, she nodded, not trusting her voice to speak. She feared that if she did she would only scream in agony.

There was a stairwell around the next corner and they somehow made it down without Eduardo and his henchmen catching them. Still, they could hear thundering footsteps on the stairs above them and knew it was only a matter of time.

"Cammie!"

She breathed a sigh of relief. It was Bex. They had backup.

"They're coming," Zach said, his voice sounding far away from Cammie. "We need to move. We have the lexicon."

"Come on then! We have a ride!"

Cammie and Zach followed Bex, racing as best they could down the hall. Zach had released Cammie, and as much as she had felt like sinking to the floor and howling in pain, she knew that wasn't an option at the moment. So she bit down hard on her tongue, ignored the feeling of sticky liquid dripping down her leg and ran for her life.

There were more gunshots, and Cammie knew if she got hit again there wouldn't be an escape. Not for her. She ran faster.

She didn't know how but they reached the van and Zach and Grant pulled her inside. They were safe. She couldn't believe it.

Her breathing wasn't slowing but the car began to move. Cammie noticed Jonas and Liz in the front seat. Liz peered back at her with amazed eyes.

"Cammie?" she asked. No one had been looking at her, but they all did now. There was something in Liz's inflection that caught their attention. It was just like before, when Liz had noticed the bruising around Cammie's neck. "Are you ok?"

Cammie nodded but didn't speak. She knew she looked like she'd been through the ringer, she sort of had been after all.

"Cam?" Bex prodded. Her dress was black. They hadn't noticed the blood yet.

"I'm fine," Cammie managed. She didn't know how the words came out steady, but somehow they did. "Just the adrenaline."

Liz didn't believe her and her eyes found the purpling stain on the right side of her waist, widening as she absorbed what was happening.

"Cammie you-"

But she didn't finish. Suddenly the van swerved, and Zach smashed into Cammie's side, renewing all of the pain she had managed to breathe past. They weren't safe, not anymore. She screamed, but everyone else did as well, and her agony got lost in the fear.

The breaks skidded and Bex was yelling, non to kindly, at Jonas. He yelled back with unparalleled aggression.

The doors opened and Joe and Abby were there, screaming at them to get out of the car. Screaming. Everyone was screaming. They scrambled from the car,

Cammie clutching her purse to her side.

"Why?"

"Where are we going?"

"NOW!"

"Are you ok?!"

Cammie followed the others out of the van.

Then, all of a sudden, everything was very quiet. Silence, contrasted to the insane thoughts going around in Cammie's mind and the screaming that she couldn't determine was internal or external.

"I think we all just need to calm down."

Cammie blood grew cold. She knew the bullet in her side wasn't the reason for it either.

Her mother was here. Standing tall next to Natasha Goode.

"Mom?" Cammie choked, she risked a look at Zach, who was glaring fiercely at his sister.

"Did you get it?" Rachel asked, her voice clipped and icy.

"I . . ." She didn't know how to articulate; she didn't know how to do anything. She couldn't believe she was still standing. Everyone was looking at her. She was sure someone was screaming again, though it might've been her.

"Yes."

Zach's angry glare had turned to her and she felt shame so deep in her bones that it almost crushed her. She stood up taller, well she thought she did.

"I'm not going to give it to you."

Cammie figured she didn't look very intimidating. From her bruised skin to the exhaustion she felt in her fingernails.

Rachel's eyes flashed, but her face remained impassive.

"Don't do this for a boy, Cameron. Don't be that stupid. You know what's on that list. If I go down, you go down too."

Cammie swallowed. She didn't give two damns about what the CIA was going to do to her. At this point she didn't think she'd live long enough to endure the punishment. She couldn't give Rachel the Lexicon. It would ruin so many lives. Cammie had already enabled it so long for her own selfish gain. It was time to step up. It was time to do right.

She tossed her purse to Zach. "It's out of my hands mom."

Rachel screamed.

Screamed.

Cammie had never, ever, heard her mother scream.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH!"

Zach looked so surprised that a gust of wind probably would have knocked him over.

Cammie was looking at him, hoping he knew how absolutely, terribly sorry she was. She didn't see Rachel pull out her own gun and point it at Zach. It went off so fast no one had any time to react.

Unlike Eduardo and Caesar, Rachel was a trained spy. A trained gunman. A trained killer. She aimed, knowing where she would hit. She didn't miss. Zach had managed to twist so that the shot didn't seem fatal but it still hit flesh and he sunk to the floor. Cammie immediately lunged over him, not caring about what further pain it would cause her.

She was screaming his name but she couldn't hear at all anymore. The screaming continued. Everyone was screaming. Her vision was starting to blur. She felt like there was a violent storm raging around them. Zach was staring back at her, something resembling forgiveness shining back at her. She held onto, knowing she wouldn't have much else.

Rachel didn't aim again. She didn't need to. Zach had dropped the purse when he'd fallen and Natasha had struck forward to grab it. They were already running away, Rachel not looking back at her daughter.

"Cammie!" It was Liz again. "You got shot! What the hell are you doing!"

"She got shot?! When? Where?!" Bex asked. Joe and Abby had gone off in hot pursuit of Rachel and Natasha.

"I'm fine," Cammie said, not knowing if her words were audible. "Just a graze."

Zach was fading in front of her. He looked confused now. "Shot?" seemed like the word that came out of his mouth. She couldn't tell. She felt sick.

Cammie was suddenly on her back, Bex hovering over her. "Cammie what the hell?"

"Is she ok?" That was Grant. Cammie was sure. Cammie thought she heard fabric ripping.

"NO! It's not a fucking graze! There's a fucking hole in her stomach!"

Someone gasped. Liz was crying.

"Oh my god."

"When did she get it? How long ago did she get shot?"

"I didn't. . ." That was Zach. "I didn't know she was."

"HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW?"

Cammie had closed her eyes.

"Keep her awake!"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE SOMEONE CALL 911!"

"I've got it." Jonas. Quietly. Maybe there were button being pressed. A dial tone. An operator's voice.

"Is she ok?" Zach. Distressed. Sad. Hurt.

"Cammie," it was Liz. "Say something. You have to stay awake."

Cammie couldn't feel anymore. She couldn't see. She could hardly hear. She wasn't entirely convinced what she did hear wasn't in her head. A dream. A nightmare.

Something touched her hand. Warm. Soft. Clammy.

It was Zach's hand, linking with hers. She was sure.

"I love you," she muttered. "Goodbye."

And then her dream went black.


Yeah . . .

I know, I leave you guys hanging for months and then end with this :O

Hate me, love me, but I'm gonna finish the story! One more chapter!

Side note: I'm changing the rating of this story to "M" because of the graphic abuse in the beginning, I'm sure a lot of you guys didn't like that, but whatevs it's part of my creative process!

Love whoever stuck around to read this!