-Chapter Twenty Nine: Happiness-

*

'There's no chance for us
Its all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us
Who dares to love forever?
When love must die?
But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today
Who wants to live forever?'

-Queen

*

-Rosalie-


Sometimes I would stand in the bathroom, as alone as I could possibly be. I would grip the sides of the white marble basin until they threatened to crack and I would stare at myself in the mirror. I'd stare at that person who stared back at me and wait until something changed. I looked into those eyes, desperate for answers - for forgiveness - for absolution. I would wait until I saw more than my reflection.

Old ghosts surrounded my face, reaching out with dirty cold fingers to smear my perfect skin. Death hung all around me, furious that it would never touch me in anything but my eyes. And as the silence heightened, the voices began to whisper. Half garbled names and broken promises filling the air, tasting of ice and bitter blood. Because even when I was alone, I was never really alone.

No answers, no forgiveness. The counterpart of my soul - dark and terrifying in it's passion - refused to look at me. Nothing made sense, nothing was right. Every smile I smiled was false; a necessary façade to hide whatever was beneath it. All colours seemed faded and all sound infinitely sharper. I smiled at the reflective glass and wanted to cry. I trained my face into the appearance of happiness, wrenching the smile into something that would fool everyone. All except one.

I should have been happy, after all - I had so many reasons to be happy. So many reasons…

I would stare into that mirror, drag my hands over my skin and my lips, tracing places where once his hands had been. Obsessing over broken trails where once there had been completion. Completion because we were touching and the two halves of our soul could be joined at last. And it didn't matter about Emmett or anyone else because that was all that needed to happen.

What should have died years ago, weakened by the flaws and fatigue of a human body, was instead alive and all consuming inside of our timeless, boundless forms. The desperate, fiery passion remained as white hot as it always had. Human bodies, of course, grew older and weaker - the emotions faded. Warm instead of hot. Soft instead of sharp. Faded instead of blinding. Perhaps that was the way it ought to have been. Perhaps such undiluted, unaffected emotions were not built to endure eternity. Maybe they were supposed to wither and die; not exist perpetually, within beings that could sustain endless amounts of time and wear.

And those eyes would stare defiantly back at me, telling me things I didn't want to hear…but I needed to. I need to know it, needed to get to grips with it. Needed to try and cling onto some measure of sanity.

To the outside world, I knew I was the very appearance of strength and confidence. My every glance, every step…every word certified this. I was Rosalie Hale…Goddess of all she owned and most of what she didn't. Years ago, this façade had been impossibly easy to maintain. It required so little energy to make them all think this. Now, I grew steadily weary of it. I wanted to let it drop off my face and wither far from me. I was sick of the smiles and the poise - the beauty and the arrogance. It wasn't real anyway, had it ever been? The confidence was only bravado to conceal what was really fear. The strength was a shield to hide the vast ocean of weaknesses. The beauty a mere mask to hide the interior ugliness and darkness that sometimes threatened to swallow me whole.

I was a woman who had seen too many years. These eyes had seen my own face, unchanging and tediously breathtaking, too long. The same face, ageless, for almost a whole century. The glass showed me nothing I wanted to see; yet this little ritual was deeply necessary. It was harder to smile now; harder to maintain the unruffled tranquillity. The carelessness, the indifference…none of it was real but it needed to be maintained.

I was a woman who had felt too much. Too much had torn through me, taken everything that mattered with it and left me devastated and broken without the other half of my being. I had bled myself into another, thoughtlessly, because what other choice was there? I couldn't refrain from any measure of increased connection, not when it went against everything I knew…everything I wanted.

I was a woman, broken. Broken because he was gone now. In all that mattered to me, he was gone. He was in love with another, and no matter what I repeatedly told myself…it wasn't the same for me as it was for him. I loved Emmett with everything I had…truly, deeply loved him. But Edward…Edward simply was everything. It was like being in love with the moon, but acknowledging that the moon was only a part of the sky…the endless sky in which everything sat.

Ceaseless metaphors and symbolisms for such profound, tearing emotions. Though they weren't really emotions at this point - emotions could be controlled. No. This was me. This was what I was, not what I was feeling. I didn't feel broken…I was broken.

Though there was no mirror here, standing in the hallway with Alice, Jasper and Emmett, it felt as though there was. I stared into the space between their bodies as they talked animatedly about the meeting with Bella and I could see only my face staring back, as if looking into that painful, reflective object.

My husband's arms were warm around my waist; reassuring and strong, holding me close to him during this difficult time. Despite the warmth radiating from him, I was cold. Cold all the way down to the base of my spine where it seeped into my blood. A cold that had a name, only I was too terrified to speak it.

I smiled with unusual exertion. Today, smiles were particularly strenuous. I could feel parts of my soul splintering with the effort of maintaining such a believable guise. Alice smiled back at me, sitting casually on the banister of the hallway where we four had gathered to discuss the events that had occurred today. Besides her, but not touching her in any significant way, was Jasper. He looked calm and implacable as usual, his eyes rarely meeting mine. I nodded along with Alice, trying to pull my face into something resembling acceptance. It hadn't occurred to me just how powerfully Alice would take to this new girl. And I loved Alice, I wanted to preserve the relationship we had, so I smiled along and tried - actually tried - to see if there might be any truth under what she was so enthusiastically saying.

"…so sweet and shy! And the way Edward is around her, they're just such a perfect couple! Like they've been together forever!"

'Really?' my mind thought to itself with gritted teeth. Externally, I maintained the image and impression of composure, even tolerance - but inside I was already failing to quite grasp Alice's massive over-appreciation of the small, repugnant little creature who had not long ago been in our home.

Free for once of the man who so effortlessly scrutinised my thoughts, my mind dragged me helplessly into contemplation of the kitchen scene earlier on.

I had hated the way she seemed to cling to him, in everything if not body. The way her eyes flickered nervously to his, looking for support. Her frail words and admirable bravery…it was simply revolting. I knew it would take divine intervention - a terrifying miracle of some sort - to bring me around to the idea of ever being 'friends' with Bella. Her kindness and selflessness made my skin itch with baseless irritation. Several times during her presence, my fingers had twitched unconsciously; a knee-jerk reaction to her repellent fragility and clear dependence on him, after so little time together. Another reason for my disgust of the entire ordeal. Exactly how long had they known one another? What claim could she make to a man she had known less than a month? And to see them together, you'd think it was the understated love affair of the last two centuries. The love that crosses all boundaries, including species. It was enough to make me shudder. There was all too many reasons to hate her - even logical, clinical ones.

Apart from the fact that they weren't even the same breed of being, apart from the fact that he was roughly ninety years older than she was…she was - for all intents and purposes - his food. Sustenance. Nourishment. Nutrition…little else. He was in love with his food - even for him, it was intolerable.

Other reasons to hate her spanned from the ridiculous (irrational fear of being replaced and usurped) to the absolute, undeniably justified (Edward. Plain and simple. Edward). Her personality was such that she was someone I would have gone out of way to avoid had I been anything less than the immortal I was now, caught in a situation so undesirable it was almost laughable. She was everything that I despised. Everything that I strived against. He could not have selected a being so totally the opposite of myself and that almost hurt more than anything else.

She was the opposite of me, and she made him happy.

'Stop it!' my mind reproached, realising all too late this such a vein of thought was incredibly detrimental to my increasingly questionable state of mine. I forced my attention back to my family, though it was an inescapable subject.

"Man, did you see the way he looks at her though?" Emmett wondered aloud; carelessly genuine. How could he know he was hurting me? "I think he really loves her." He sounded happy, as I should have been, were not this situation so horrifically complicated and involved.

Jasper's eyes flickered to me again and away just as fast. I felt a gentle burst of relaxation and inner calm wash through me, though I knew it was utterly simulated. None of the others changed tone or expression, so I was certain it was only for my benefit. When had he gotten so good at localising it? I would have to ask him later, while I was thanking him once more for his solidarity.

"Maybe," Jasper said with a non-committal shrug. "It depends."

Alice scoffed at his doubt. "On what? They're made for each other!"

I managed not to close my eyes. Every fibre of my being railed against her declaration. How could she say something so stupid? How were they this blithely unaware of what love really was? Couldn't they see…didn't they know?

But of course they didn't. They had never seen Edward in love; never seen his eyes burst into hot pools of gold, burning through me. Never seen the way his jaw clenched or his muscles worked…the way his breathing grew jagged and shallow. They had never been thrown back by the force of his passion, exploding through our veins…pulsing through us, leaving fire and light where there should have been common sense and morals.

So why wouldn't they believe him to be in love with her? He was in love with her.

I bit down on my lip as I smiled and forced myself to think it again.

'Edward is in love with Bella. In love…with Bella.'

The pain was as sharp and scalding as it had been the first time the realisation had come to me. He loved her…and it cut through me like white hot steel.

"Right babe?" Emmett was asking for affirmation to a question I hadn't even heard. My mind was miles away; lost in times and places that were unlikely to see the light of a real day ever again.

"Huh?" I asked, shaking myself.

"Daydreamer," he said lovingly kissing my cheek and tightening his grip around my waist. "I said, things seem a lot better now. Between…everyone. Don't you think?"

Between Edward and I, was the obvious and deeply unsubtle question laced beneath his unthinking decency, trying to elicit endorsement from me on the matter. Sure, things were better. Edward and I were being torn apart by jealousy and resentment, darkness and desperation…I was lying to him (and everyone else for that matter) and pretending that I could cope, when in fact it was ripping me to pieces. I was watching my life fall apart, terrified that at any moment I would lose my mind so fully that I would make the mistake of revealing to everyone I loved that I had been party to the greatest betrayal this family had ever witnessed. And even during all this, still…still…so powerfully involved that other person, even if it was in nothing but imagination and sleepless dreams.

"I guess," I said with practised detachment. No point, I knew, in attempting to sing my love of the situation from the rooftops. Everyone seemed to accept that I would always take issue with the matter, though it was clearly expected that I would cease to cause further pain to anyone. "So long as she's not going to be a risk."

I had tacked that on the end for Alice's benefit. Yet another swell of helpless jealousy, this time over Alice. Her sentiments for Bella were blatantly obvious - she already loved her as a sister, after so little time. To Alice, though, they had spent time together already. They had bonded, she had seen it before it had come to pass. She knew Bella, knew that they would be friends. And though it was ridiculous to imagine myself being replaced, the thought still plagued me - shapeless and nameless, but equally menacing.

I knew that after a while this would become tedious, even to myself. There was a deeply repetitive nature to the contours of my feelings regarding Bella; even though the situation had only existed for little under a month. But I didn't care. I couldn't force my feelings into a different mould…it was what it was, and no amount of anyone telling me how 'sweet' and 'cute' she was, would alter that. I hated her. I hated her so powerfully it made my vision blur and my bones creak with the effort of containing it.

They were all talking again, Emmett leaning on my shoulder as he spoke. I felt the reverberations of his throat against my skin, though I couldn't really hear what he was saying. His proximity was soothing; he knew that of course.

And then the atmosphere shifted; we all looked in the direction of the stairs, already knowing who had returned. I steeled myself; it was always harder to achieve any form of true deception when he was close by.

"Without her?" Emmett chuckled. "Surely not broken up already?"

Alice's eyes glazed a little as we all watched with familiar fascination. It never grew old, seeing her like that…knowing that she was seeing a shift in the fabric of our futures. I had dreaded that once; the idea of her seeing something and coming to know a terrible secret…it had haunted me for years. What was there to fear now, though?

Shaking myself from a would-be-bitter reverie, I waited to see what she said.

"She's still coming to the game," she announced evenly. "She's changing clothes and talking to her father. Oh," she added, smiling brightly. "She's going to tell Charlie about Edward today. They're going to meet." She laughed at whatever she was seeing, amused by the delightful future that was playing out exactly as she wanted. Emmett laughed with her while I couldn't muster up the energy to smile. Not with his approach so immanent now.

Emmett was in good spirits when he said, "I'd love to be there for that. Hey Dad, this is Edward Cullen. He's over a hundred years old, has a fondness for mountain lions and enjoys watching me while I sleep."

I had to smile at that, and my hands curled around his, pulling him subtly closer to me. It was like taking a deep breath of cool, clean air - refreshing my system, gaining strength from something magical and meaningful. He dropped a kiss on my shoulder again and we listened to the obvious silence coming from downstairs.

"Yes," Edward said once, his voice so relaxed and…yes, happy. He was answering Carlisle's silent, mental, question. This occurred frequently, between them in particular. "I will."

We then heard the minute sounds that indicated them hugging. Rustle of fabric, hands on backs. Alice wrinkled her nose and grinned. I couldn't recall seeing her this excited or bubbly for years. Jasper smiled back at her, but I could detect - as Alice could not - that it was slightly too empty to be real. At least I wasn't the only one struggling with this. A very slight comfort, but comfort all the same.

"Hey," he said, walking up the stairs with an undeniable spring in his step. "Why are we gathered in the hallway? Is there skulduggery?"

He was teasing lightly; playful and eager to take whatever jokes or mockery anyone had about the situation because he was so utterly confident in his newfound love. Equally eager to prove it with his overt nonchalance and delight. I wondered if anyone else could see straight through it, as I could?

"We didn't know your umbilical chord could stretch from Chief Swan's house to here," Emmett said sweetly and everyone laughed, including Edward. Obviously, he still hadn't looked at me but no-one else seemed to have noticed. Alice wasted no time in diving delightedly into enthusiastic conversation about having Bella over tomorrow as well, perhaps for a sleep-over.

"…be so much fun!" she was insisting, while Edward tried to be patient with her keenness to turn Bella into a dress-up-doll. "We could take her shopping!"

I bit my lip hard, maintaining that cursed smile all the while, though it was weakening. "I don't think so, Alice," he rebuffed gently. "She's not very into clothes."

Alice rolled her eyes, undeterred. "Well obviously! That's why we should take her shopping! Get her a little more integrated into the family!"

Edward's brow creased ever so slightly; seeing into Alice's complicated and surprisingly good natured mind. "We?"

"Y'know," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "Bella, myself and Rose."

Emmett winced audibly and Jasper rolled his eyes and at his lover's extreme optimism. I noticed, only through years of practise, that Edward's hands tightened slightly. A reaction I was certain he wasn't aware of whenever anyone said something that struck an unwanted chord.

"Girls' trip out, huh?"

"Why not?" she demanded and I had to laugh at her determination to make everyone into 'One Big Happy Family'. Everyone looked at me then, but the laughter still quaked through me. Slightly unhinged laughter really, because there was nothing benignly funny about anything that was occurring. I was laughing at the increasing irony of this day…month…existence. "What?" Alice seemed exasperated with me, lightly hopping down off of the banister. "Rosalie was fine earlier on, weren't you? I think we could all be…"

"Alice," Jasper warned. "You're getting ahead of yourself, I think."

"I am not!" she insisted, turning suddenly, maddeningly self-sure again. The future was on her side, she was certain. Though I seriously doubted she had foreseen me helping Bella to shop. Did that creature even know what Versace was?

That earned me a slow, deeply disgusted (in the most subtle way, of course) look from Edward. It lingered only a moment while Jasper and Alice bantered back and forth about the obvious ridiculousness of her idea, and I stared defiantly back. When he looked away, I felt vindicated. Who was he to police my thoughts? I could think what I wanted about that ignorant, pathetic, unattractive little…

"Come on, Alice," Emmett put in, sounding highly amused. "I think maybe you're being a little too…hopeful."

She shrugged elegantly, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. "Stubbornness is so tiresome."

What a hypocrite my lovely sister was.

"Let's take things a little slower, shall we?" Edward asked, winking at Alice. She nodded, reluctantly agreeing.

"How dull."

"Yes, but this is Bella we're talking about. Anything less than dull is likely to kill her, what with her innate ability to find the worst luck in the universe."

Oh the plethora of comments I could have made.

A fact that everyone seemed well aware of when they all (most indiscreetly) gave me fleeting glances. Edward's lingered the longest; perhaps he wished that I could read minds and in turn, see what anger and disappointment he was screaming at me. Not that I needed to. His eyes spoke volumes in a language only I understood.

Well what did he expect? For me to be happy?

"Fair enough," Emmett said with unexpected force, breaking my concentration. His intention, no doubt. "But she's still coming to the game?"

Edward's face ironed itself out and he seemed immediately brightened by the concept. "Yes, after she's changed clothes." Alice giggled. Edward sighed. "What now?"

"Just make sure you call him, Sir."

He blinked, seemingly unfazed by the notion that he would be meeting her father. A serious turning point by Edward's estimation, and he didn't really react to it at all. To be expected, I guessed. It was all falling together neatly, just the way he wanted.

And I felt suddenly, very physically, sick. Not even in disgust of the 'Brady-Bunch' avenue my life seemed to be venturing down, but instead a solid pain tore through me, making something invisible and long lost rise up in my throat before being swallowed back down. A reflex I was well acquainted with.

Emmett felt it too. "You OK, babe?" he asked warmly, intimately - a voice I loved hearing, though it hurt me to hear it now.

"Yeah," I said with what could be deemed as a casual shrug out of his embrace. "Just remembered something I forgot to order online for the car."

Bare-faced lies again, but he didn't question it. If anyone was familiar with my need to be left alone without explanation, it was my darling Emmett. "OK," he said equitably, not taking offence at the sudden loss of contact. "You'll be ready by the time we leave?"

"Of course," I answered easily, already halfway down the stairs and away from them all. I needed distance, air. None of them called after me, why would they? It was easier to talk about Bella without me.

I passed Carlisle on the way out to the expansive, beautiful yard. He was walking along, flicking interestedly through a book he'd never read before (a rarity for us). He looked up, halfway through thumbing a page to get to the next one, and smiled pleasantly.

"Rose," he said, clearly pleased to have run into me without anyone else around. "You're going outside?"

'Please don't come with me, please don't come with me!' I thought desperately, willing him to just continue with his book and give me the small amount of alone time I so urgently required before being subjected to hours of familial activity with her in propinquity. "Only to tinker with the BMW," I lied. "Rear springs seemed a little slack last time I took her out."

He closed the book, not buying into it. "You've spoken to Edward?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Seriously, I wish people would stop making this worse than it is. I'm not the centre of attention here."

He laughed, gently running a hand through my hair. "Rosalie, darling," he said with easy affection. "When you are not the centre of attention, then something is very, very wrong." Even I had to laugh at that, but it didn't seem to give him any measure of reassurance. Instead his face clouded with caring sympathy and concern. "I know it's hard for you," he whispered solemnly. "For both of you."

"Sorry?" I choked, barely about to believe that he was seriously referencing his limited (but still potentially devastating) knowledge of something he thought had ended years ago.

"He loves you," he stated bluntly, or as bluntly as he could be. "That won't change."

I felt numb, stupid and frozen; a child caught in the headlights of an all-knowing parent. What had he just said? And in what context? And…what?

"I don't understand," I said, half truthfully. "What are you…do you mean Edward?"

It sounded good to my own ears; nasal, indignant, disbelieving. He waited patiently for my well articulated lies. "I'm not angry about that," I went on. "Oh please. No, it's just starting to get to me. The happy-clappy induction of Bella Swan into our family when she's not even…one of us. It's just a little grating."

He rolled his eyes and lightly tapped the book on my head. "Very mature, Rose," he rebuked lovingly. "You have nothing to fear from her, you know."

Again, a number of things ran through my mind; answers to his utterly incorrect observation. I swallowed them all and smiled instead because he loved to see me smile. "It'll catch on eventually," I promised.

"I know," he said, pulling me into an easy one armed hug. "I know how protective you are of this family and it does you credit. Just try to…make things easier for Edward. He loves her so much."

Why did everyone have to keep saying it to me?

"But then who will be the bad guy?" I joked and he laughed, stroking my hair again. I could remember so well that night he'd first touched my hair; promising me that it would all be over soon, that everything would be alright. I had believed him.

"I'm sure someone will crop up," he said and we parted. "Go on, see to your car before we go."

Some of the anger had left me during the brief, confusing conversation with Carlisle, but what remained was now insatiable. I wanted to break something. No, someone. I went to the garage and took off my jacket and undid the top four buttons of my shirt. I grabbed some tools and threw them lightly under the car before sliding expertly under it.

Barely ten minutes had passed and I was still underneath my beloved BMW, tinkering with the rear suspension springs when I caught his scent. He was alone; perfect. Just….perfect. Because this was really going to help me stay calm.

So I told him, in a way that voids depiction, to go very much away.

He was undeterred. "I will in a minute. Can we talk?"

"I'm going to stab you if you say that one more time," I replied with comical composure.

"Well I guess stabbing will make a nice change of pace from being ignored or threatened."

"You know, they have call centres for this kind of crap."

He laughed - damn him for using that laugh - and knelt down. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was close to my lower midriff. Even more perfect. I grabbed a wrench and tightened the coils unnecessarily, a few globules of grease dripping down on me which I diligently ignored. "Please come out."

"I'm busy," I retorted, wishing the car was in neutral and I could 'accidentally' roll it into him. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for the game? Making a picnic in case she gets hungry?"

Pathetically childish. I shuddered as my own words replayed in my head wishing that anger would for once lend me eloquence instead of irrationality.

"For God's sake, will you just come out from under the stupid car! I'm not having this conversation with your impractical, if very attractive, Jimmy Choo's!"

"Piss off, my car is more important than whatever soliloquy you've just devised on the way over here!"

He was angry when he spoke. Angry in a way that had nothing to do with my BMW. "Its just a car, Rosalie! Just a damned car, a toy!" The unspoken comparison to himself was painfully unnecessary. He obviously couldn't understand why I was focusing on a car when he was standing there.

I wrenched myself out in time to see him standing up rather quickly, taking a well advised step back. I wiped the grease off my face, well aware I was only making it worse.

"What?" I demanded. "What do you want to say me? Huh?"

I waited, furious and terrified to see what he had to tell me, or more likely, ask of me. I knew it would going to be something about the game and most definitely something about Bella. A selfish little part of me wanted him to ask how I was doing with all this. If I was OK, or if I was dealing with it. I had answers for those question. But I crammed it away to the back of my brain and focused instead on my anger.

He took a deep breath, seeming to steady himself. "Why were you in my room?"

"Excuse me?" I sneered, running a dirty hand through my hair. I would have to shower before we left.

"You were in my room," he stated clearly. "Why?"

And really, what chance of lying to him did I have? Damned telepath. "Why does it matter? I wasn't setting medieval traps for her to walk into."

"I know that," he went on, his eyes searching mine for the truth I refused to speak. "But I just want to know why you were in there."

The wrench was still in my hand; I could swing it into his face - break and bend the steel implement on his head. I wanted to, badly. Yet I refrained.

"For no reason that would interest you," I told him and put the wrench down on the top of the too drawer with fingers that, so far, managed not to tremble.

He shook his head, his lips pressed together tightly. "You think this isn't hard for me too, Rose?"

"Oh well what the hell do you want me to do, Edward? Take her shopping? Have a little chat about past boyfriends?" I snapped. "And no," I counteracted swiftly. "That wasn't a threat! I still have more to lose than you, with or without your little human!"

"I love her," he said, with heartbreaking simplicity. "She makes me happy. Why does that have to hurt you?"

I couldn't look away from him, though I desperately wanted to. He wanted an answer and I was helpless to give it to him.

"Because it's not me," I said, managing to control my face if not my mouth. "I'm not the one making you happy, and I wish I could. It hurts me to see that someone else can make you happy. However much she loves you, it doesn't compare to what I feel for you and it breaks me apart that despite this…I can't make you happy."

He closed his eyes, turning away a little. "Happy?" he whispered. "Damn it Rosalie…you have no idea. No idea at all. You think you never made me happy?"

"Why else would you leave me for her?"

"I am not leaving you for her!" he snapped, very quietly. "Haven't we had this stupid, repetitive conversation already? I can't help being in love with her and yes - she does give me what you can't but that is not to imply that you haven't give me anything! If anything, you've given me far too much! People aren't supposed to be this….conjoined! It's not natural, even for our species!"

I turned completely away from him, wishing I could shut him out. But he was determined to say what he had to say.

"Do you remember what we said that night? About Emmett?"

"I remember begging you not to make me involve him!" I snarled, through gritted teeth, hating him for so frequently bringing up that night.

"Yes, but do you remember why we involved him? Because he made you happy, Rosalie. Because he brought balance to this…us! Because we are unnaturally involved, entangled, connected. There have to walls, limits…or we'll just dissolve into each other and you know it!"

"That's not why you're with her."

"And of course I love her! Of course she makes me happy…she makes me feel like I could be a good person, like I'm not…whatever it is that I really am." He paused, sounding a little uncertain, unsure. When he spoke again, it was barely a whisper. A ghost of breath over his lips, twisted into my name. "Rosalie. Look at me."

He said that far too much. Those words he spoke whenever I wouldn't look at him, for fear of falling into his eyes. It was starting to brand itself into my being in a dangerously permanent way. I twisted my head around, allowing my body to follow and he was suddenly very much there as he hadn't been in far too long. There in mind, spirit and heart…the soul we shared seemed close enough to touch and I longed to touch it. I wanted to reach out and touch it, bring him back to me again.

"Please," he begged, reaching up to touch my face. "Please don't hate her."

And it recoiled instantly, far and away. I moved backwards, out of his reach and for a moment his hand stayed extended, still reaching into the area where I had been only moments ago…maybe he thought I would walk back into it. But his words were poorly chosen. I shook myself from the spell he had been casting and remembered everything; cold knowledge rinsing out the heat from my blood. I blinked unnecessarily to further break his hold on me.

"You should leave," I pointed out coldly.

He sighed, disappointed and hurt beyond what he could conceal. I saw his shoulders slacken and his eyes darken and the defences he worked so hard to build were back up in a flash. "Fine," he said, shuttered and impersonal. "See you there then."

I retreated to the safety of the underside of my vehicle.

"You'd have to look at me do that."


The skies were clouding over nicely, preparing for the thunder and lightning that would grant us cover and opportunity to play our beloved game on this most stormy Sunday. I sat aside from the preparations for the game as we all waited, pretending that we weren't, for Edward and Bella to arrive. I knew that this would set a precedent, however it turned out, for the rest of their relationship involving us. Whatever happened here today would set the bar for whatever happened after that. It was of great significance, to everyone - not only myself and Edward and yes (my lips curled in a sneer) even Bella.

I counted the number of Sundays I had seen in my time on this planet, 4482 to be exact, and watched the beautiful camaraderie of our family. Jasper and Emmett play fighting to 'warm up' for the game. Esme berating Emmett for using low blow tactics. Carlisle and Alice debating the best method of achieving curveball. Had Edward been here, he would have been with Emmett and Jasper, using his gift to his distinct advantage, pretending he wasn't.

But that was before; when his priorities were to us and no-one else. Now his focus was on her and we would be lucky if he gave us a second thought. Would he still play like he used to? Would he be able to look away from her long enough to concentrate? Would she kiss him for luck? Would she…?

"Hey." A cool, yet sharp word yanked me from my musings with 'snap!'. Jasper was standing right in front of me, pulling on his cap. Having his back to everyone else, his expression was uncommonly sympathetic. "Having fun?"

"Buckets," I answered sweetly, failing to mask the bitterness. He sighed and sat down on the fallen log beside me.

"I know," he said soothingly, though he wasn't using his gift. "I know."

I shook my head, staring out across the field but not really seeing it. "I don't…I don't know how he does it. How he ever did it."

He wasn't a mind reader. "Hmm?"

I clarified. "How he can stand to see me with Emmett, if this is how he feels," I breathed. He didn't look at me, we just stared ahead.

"It's a very different situation."

"Not that different."

"He's deluded."

I had to laugh at that. "How so?"

He grinned slightly, I could see it using only peripheral vision. "She's his redemption," he said with poorly concealed amusement. "Saving him from his evil, dark self."

"Good God," I said with dry disgust, even though I knew he was making it less important and serious than it really was. "When did he tell you this?"

"We had a nice little chat last night," he shrugged. That caught me off guard a little.

"You did? What happened?"

"We talked. It wasn't pleasant," he admitted and for the first time in a very long time, I heard something resembling remorse in his voice.

Well now I just had to know. "And?"

"I had to be pretty hard on him, to get him to admit what he really feels. It's so hard to draw out a distinctive, genuine emotion from him now that doesn't circulate around her." He was leaving something out, something big, but I didn't press it.

"And," I asked, ashamed that I so badly needed to know. "What did he admit to feeling?"

"Rose," he said very softly. "You should know by now, that very little in this universe will alter the way he feels about you."

I knew he meant his words to be those of reassurance, but the cold refused to fade away. I couldn't believe it to be true, not all the time he was with her. It just didn't make sense. I nudged him on the shoulder by way of thanks all the same.

Now Emmett and Alice were bantering playfully, Emmett trying to get to ball from Alice who was far too fast for him. Watching this exchange made my heart ache a little. Such carefree happiness. I couldn't recall a moment in my life like that. It seemed like he had always been there. Gentle tranquillity washed over me very briefly, leaving traces of calm in my blood. I thanked him wordlessly with a smile, because they were coming now, I could sense it from miles away.

He didn't ask if I was ready, knowing that I wasn't, instead he gave me a quick pat on the back and got up to go to Alice, our brief moment of consolidation over for now.

Emmett gave a look that plainly said 'You should make an effort, baby.' How was it that his face communicated endearments as well as meaningful messages? I rose gracefully from the log and pulled on the well worn mask. I decided to ignore her as much as I could, given the circumstances. She was distracting in the worst sort of way and I was not going to lose because of her.

Deciding how to split the teams were tricky today. Though no-one would admit it, there were subtle allegiances separating everyone, despite what they all said. In the end it came down to Jasper, Carlisle and myself against Emmett, Edward and Esme with Alice pitching. Bella, as Esme had suggested, would be the umpire. That was clearly tactical; she was on everyone's side, she would have to be involved instead of allowed to sit on the sidelines. Plus she would be in a position of authority, giving no-one (namely me) any opportunity to make her feel uncomfortable. After some good-natured messing around a heavy rumble of thunder and a flash of lightning burst overhead and Alice announced that it was time.

I was up to bat first, of course. Edward looked deeply nervous, to be understood I guessed, not that I felt the slightest sympathy towards him. It was impossible when she was close by. Maybe he heard my thoughts because the nervousness vanished, to be replaced with very natural looking excitement and enthusiasm for the game. He let Esme usher Bella aside then went deep, preparing for my attempted home run. This was how it always was between us. Somehow, no matter how it got split up, Edward and I were never on the same team. He knew to move considerably backwards when I batted. I struggled not to make eye contact with him and he appeared to be doing the same, making a big deal about smiling at Bella and everyone else who was notably not me.

Alice threw the ball through the air with effortless precision and I hit it as hard as possible without breaking the aluminium bat. I was well used to the force of the crack when it connected, but I heard Bella gasp behind me.

"OK, now I see why you need the thunder," she laughed nervously to Esme.

I was already a quarter of the way around the expansive pitch; Edward had sped off in the direction of the ball and I ran as hard as I could from base to base. I heard the ball hurtling behind me just as I was almost home, but it slammed into Esme's hand a fraction of a second before I slid gracefully to home base.

Everyone looked to Bella to decide in or out. She winced, anticipating my reaction.

"You're out."

To my left, Emmett cheered her decision. "Out! Woo!" I shot him a look and he gently rebuked me. "Babe, come on! It's just a game!"

I gave her my most skin melting glare as I rose. She paled beneath it and I moved past her with utmost revulsion.

"Nice kitty," Carlisle said, patting my shoulder as he moved up to bat. I caught Edward's smirk from right across the pitch and I contained the urge to sneer back. This was our only real 'family time' and I was not going to let anything ruin it. I moved to stand with Jasper as Carlisle took his turn.

"I think," he whispered to me. "We could make it look an accident."

I grinned and flipped the bat over my hand a couple of times. "You think?"

"Sure. It's a pretty dangerous game to involve a human in, after all."

"Wouldn't that be tragic," I sighed. I knew he wasn't really serious at this point. He wouldn't kill her just to make me feel better; he was simply being loyal, trying to cheer me up. He was my brother, the only one I had, and we were closer than most people gave us credit for. "Think of the therapy I'd need."

He laughed outright and so did it, our laughter not carrying to her useless human ears, but Edward certainly caught it. He had just collided with my husband and was brushing himself off, still chuckling. He looked over at us and frowned a little. From there, I wasn't sure if he could read my mind or not. He simply looked confused as to why I was laughing. Did he expect me to embrace melancholia for the rest of my life? Apparently so.

Carlisle had made a home run and Jasper was up next. He winked at me before walking to the base, flipping the bat for fun as he sometimes did. Jasper was an exceptional player; better than all of us perhaps. I saw him give Alice a tiny, private smile before the rest of his face went deadly serious. She revealed nothing as she calmly aimed the ball with impressive force towards him. His bat slammed into the ball just as the lightning flashed and once again the poor thing was sent with meteoric force towards the forest.

He was halfway around when Emmett ran up a tree and caught the ball mid air. The ball was aimed back towards base again and I couldn't help but comment with ageless affection. "My monkey man," I smiled.

It was my turn again. I hit the ball with everything I had, determined to win the little pseudo match of 'the-baseball-that-wasn't'-really-a-baseball-game' and it looked like I might have been about to, when Alice called out in a broken, unprepared sort of way "Stop!"


Everything that happened after the meeting and subsequent incident in the field, seemed to happen very fast. It appeared no-one had been exaggerating when they told of Bella's supreme ability to attract any and all nearby danger. I watched, partially mesmerised, as one of my greatest hopes began to fulfil itself, right before Edward threw himself into a protective crouch and snarled viciously to ward off the intimidating James.

It all seemed to pass in a blur, though I was highly aware of my own thoughts during that time. I was surprised at myself for not feeling vindictively thrilled at the what was occurring. Hadn't I wished for her death, many times? Now that it seemed immanent, shouldn't I have been victorious…at least hopeful?

But I wasn't. All I felt was Edward's pain lancing through me. His agonising guilt, the asphyxiating panic and terror he felt at the thought of losing her. It seeped into me without the least consent. I didn't care about her in the slightest, but it was hurting Edward and so suddenly where there should have been quiet satisfaction…there was only painful desolation and worry. And I hated him for that. Hated them both for making me so inexplicably a part of something I should have been a bystander to.

The plan to keep her safe was constructed swiftly, everyone taking it upon themselves to do their utmost to protect her. Edward, Emmett and Alice were all with Bella, taking her to Chief Swan's house to commence the ruse that would lead James off track. Carlisle and Jasper were speaking in low, swift tones busily debating the fate of those vampires who would make a stand against us. Jasper was all for it; his knowledge from past lives made him very useful in this area. Carlisle was having trouble accepting that it was fully necessary to take another life and Jasper's clear desensitisation to the idea was not giving him comfort. Jasper had slaughtered hundreds of our own kind before and repeating such an act, especially in such circumstances at this, gave him no trouble. I could see the hesitation in Carlisle's eyes, but eventually he would acquiesce.

"Rose," Esme said with soft urgency pulling my attention away from the two. "Take guard outside the house until they get back. I'll check flight information. Alice just called, they've got a plan."

I nodded distractedly and went to stand guard in the darkness, waiting for them to return. While I stood there, I attempted to pick out a single definable emotion that I could base myself on for the next few hours. But they were all too tightly woven together; if I felt one, I felt the other. There were too many swimming around, far too many of them involving him and his concerns.

I waited there for only a few minutes, but that was plenty of time to realise at least one thing.

My hatred and jealousy for her had not abated in the slightest; I knew that solidly. It was still there in my chest, a hard lump of metal; easily heated and easily frozen. Instead what seemed to be happening now was a shift in priorities. His world had been turned upside down and so, regardless of what I wanted, had mine.

One soul in two bodies. It had never felt so real until now.

I heard the screech of tyres and brakes, then saw the lights through the trees. Edward was driving Bella's hunk of junk truck and parked it outside the house. I watched him from the shadows as he took her roughly by the arm and yanked her out, keeping his face averted from her. I could see it fully, though. Self loathing and smothering apprehension were painted all over his beautiful features. Alice and Emmett were in tow, heading inside when Emmett suddenly realised I was standing there.

"Hey," he said, breaking away from Alice to come to me. I stepped a little out of the shadows and into his warm, welcoming embrace. "You OK?"

"Of course," I said steadily, holding him a little tighter than I would have done if that were really true. He sensed it and pulled back to kiss me. For a few blissful moments, I managed to completely forget about everything happening all around us. I loved him so much it made me want to cry and as I pulled his face closer with my hands, murmuring against his lips I realised I was saying it over and over again. His strong fingers ran through my hair, causing me to shiver.

"It'll be alright," he promised me. His very slight (usually non existent) southern accent was present in a voice that was oddly stripped of all it's usual modern Americanism. His stroked my cheek gently, pressing his forehead to mine and I wished we had more time to stay like this because every moment he was touching me I felt stronger. But soon enough, duty called and he pressed a brief, loving kiss on my lips before taking himself away again, but pulling me by the hand.

God, how I despised myself.

It was set, the shoddy plan. We all headed inside the garage together, Jasper and Emmett excitedly discussing the best method of disposal for James and his mate.

"I've had to fight our kind before," Jasper reminded Emmett. "Not easy to kill."

Emmett was confident, eager. "But not impossible. We'll tear him apart and burn the pieces."

Carlisle's displeasure and sadness was evident. "I don't relish the thought of killing another creature," he said quietly as I went to sit on the side, observing it as it all played out. I thought of my brave, overly eager husband my heart tugged agonisingly for a second. What if something happened to him? Or…anyone else? It was bad enough inside my head at present time, trying not to care about her but being helpless to do so because my concerns were so obscenely intertwined with his. Now I was horribly concerned for my husband, as well as all my family. "Even," he added. "A sadistic one like James."

"What if he kills one of us first?" I asked, not realising I had voiced my mind's concerns out loud. Edward drew in a sharp breath, looking down as he always did when I was in the same room as him, especially when Bella was there.

Everyone ignored me and Edward simply spoke on as if he hadn't heard my perfectly valid question. "I'm gonna run Bella south. Can you lead the tracker away from here?"

Carlisle turned, mid step, deadly serious. "No, Edward. James knows you would never leave Bella. He'll follow you."

That much was true. Alice stepped up, placing a backpack filled with necessities on the back seat of her car. "I'll go with Bella," she offered. "Jasper I will drive her south. I'll keep her safe, Edward," she promised sincerely.

Edward flinched away from whatever her thoughts were; undoubtedly something about the future he was currently fighting against. "Can you keep your thoughts to yourself?" he snapped, made irrational by the overwhelming fear for her life.

"Yes," Alice said equitably walking past him and taking Bella by the hand. I watched him watch her walk away, the pain on his face was excruciating for me to witness on so many levels. Once she was inside the car, he gritted his teeth together and said my name, though he completely avoided eye contact.

"Rosalie, Esme," he was extremely taut…so nervous and tense that I could almost hear his bones creaking. "Could you put these on so…" he dug around for whatever it was he was looking for. "…the tracker will pick up…" he threw one at Esme with gentle force and then threw something at me much harder. "…Bella's scent?" It was some hideous garment of Bella's. He intended to use us as bait, leading all danger away from her. Only now, when I caught the revolting item of clothing, did he actually grace me with his eyes.

I suddenly wanted to look away from the sheer intensity of them. But I didn't, of course. It wasn't in my nature to be beaten down. I could feel evidence of this rising in my throat.

"Why?" I asked defiantly. "What is she to me?"

He glared at me silently, unable to believe I was saying such things at such a time, but I stared right back, daring him to look away first. Why should I gratefully snatch at the opportunity to risk my life and all I loved for her? Let him give me a reason, let him give me one damned reason to care about her.

Carlisle was quick to catch what could easily blow up into a full scale row between us. "Rosalie," he said sharply, though I couldn't look away from Edward - caught in the gridlock stare, a battle of wills. "Bella is with Edward," he said with intentional emphasis for my benefit. "She's part of the family now." He passed me the coat, holding it out expectantly. "And we protect our family."

For what seemed to be, but wasn't, hours, I couldn't look away from Edward and he didn't seem to be able to either. We so rarely looked at one another lately that the sudden contact felt unstoppable. I knew he was listening to everything I felt, thought and wished…his eyes were too loud to discern actual words from, but I got the basis of what he felt.

How can you be so selfish at a time like this?

To which I replied…

'In selfishness, I think we are equally matched.'

And his eyes replied…

I would do it for you without thinking…for Emmett without hesitation.

'Would you risk her life for mine?'

He looked down a little, breaking the contact first. His eyes stared at my neck instead, effectively ending the conversation though I simply couldn't look away from him for another few moments.

I finally broke down, gave in and took the stupid coat, glaring back at him one more time before Emmett followed me to the Jeep. I got inside, not fully shutting the door and shoved the keys into the ignition, waiting for the sign to leave to go about our various roles in protecting her.

Emmett put his hand on my knee, giving me a sympathetic but somewhat reprimanding look. I didn't care what they, any of them, thought of me; in their eyes I was a selfish, arrogant bitch anyway…let them think whatever they wanted. I listened helplessly to what he was saying to her through the window of the car. Her revolting little choked words, coming through her tightly constricted little throat. His desperate longing to protect her.

"Oh God," she whispered tightly. "If anything…what if…? If anything happens I swear to God…"

"Nothing's going to happen," he swiftly cut across her, unable to hide the quake in his voice. "There's seven of us and two of them. And when everything's done, I'm gonna come back and get you."

"Yeah," she said shakily.

He took a breath. "Bella, you are my life now."

I slammed the door shut and something broke. I twisted the keys hard and the engine roared to life - not quick enough to block it out though. We left the garage and I choked back the memories of a time he had said that to me, in plain English so as to demonstrate how true it was.

Or had once been.


Now she was gone. Far away to Phoenix while everyone else risked their lives to maintain her own useless, pathetic existence. Alice and Jasper had gone with her; I had no doubt that they would do their utmost to protect her.

And I, wearing her awful, repellently malodorous coat, was preparing to lead James on a false trail. We wouldn't start this charade until sunrise, however. Carlisle plan was to make it seem as real as possible. Keep Edward and 'Bella' inside before heading through the forest.

"Stay close to each other," he said, distractedly. "Maintain the scent."

I rolled my eyes, but Carlisle was too preoccupied to nice. It was one of the most ridiculous things he had ever said and I was close to pointing out how hopelessly flawed this plan was when he walked right out of the room, dialling a number into his black cell phone. Which left Edward and I neatly alone together. The universe had a sick sense of humour indeed and a nasty predilection for the two of us.

"She'll be alright," I said, less coldly than it was meant to be. The temperature of my words meant nothing to him, of course. He heard the original version of it in my head and knew it was meant more as a torment than a comfort.

"Uh-huh," he said, staring at the vast metal shutters covering the glass windows. The sun would start to leak through them soon and then we would make our move. "Where's Esme?"

"Chief Swan's house, remember?" I reminded him irritably, not wishing to rehash the flaws of his idea to use two of us to replicate Bella. James was clearly no fool and two of us imitating her was plain stupid. He'd had other reasons for asking Esme, no doubt. He didn't want to be seen to be asking me anything without another person involved. Or maybe he just hadn't trusted me to do it.

His eyes clashed to mine. "I did…still do…trust you with my life, Rosalie."

I put my hand up, begging him not to start anything. Though I was a being of ceaseless energy, I felt unaccountably tired and the idea of delving into some overdrawn debate about our involvement threatened to drain me of all existing energy.

"Just not with her life, right? It's OK, I wouldn't advise leaving her alone with me anyway."

And then out of nowhere, he suddenly slammed me into the glass windows which cracked magnificently, but stayed upright because of the steel shutters behind it. He held me in place by the shoulders, pinning me there with absolute fury.

"Take it back!" he snarled, his upper lip curling. "Take it back…NOW!"

I did something very stupid. I laughed.

He shoved me back even harder and the glass caved in, falling to ground with an almost musical clatter. The shutters trembled and shook and the world itself might have been quaking but it didn't matter. Our faces were unbearably close and one of two things was going to happen…

Or not.

Nothing happened. He held me there in place, neither moving forwards nor backwards. I waited the longest time before reaching up, encircling his wrists with my hands and prying him off of me. He seemed weaker than usual and gave little to no resistance when I pushed him away, gentler than I should have.

We were both out of breath, though it had nothing to do with exertions. He put his head in his hands and his shoulders jolted once.

"Edward," I said. "Don't…"

"I can't bear it," he choked. "I can't even let it process…the idea of something happening to her! Do you know what it would do…I wouldn't be able to exist…I can't let anything happen to her…I just…I just love her so damned much and she's so breakable…so fragile and just…My God, it would take nothing for him to kill her. I've never had to worry about you, you're so strong…she's not strong, Rose. Not like you. Not like you."

He was shaking his head, crying into his hands and I was powerless to stop my deepest instinct from taking over. I closed the distance between us and pulled him into my arms fluidly. He put his arms around me and rested his face in my shoulder. Maybe her scent was soothing, maybe it reminded him of her…whatever it was, he was calming down.

"It's OK," I promised. "I'll be OK. We'll keep her safe, I promise."

He drew back at my word, staring into my eyes with childlike belief. If I hurt him now, I knew he would hate me forever. He was so painfully vulnerable like this…one cruel word and I could crush him.

But the thought of doing so made me shiver at the wrongness of it all. I smoothed his hair back from his eyes, damp with sugary sweet tears and tried to smile.

"I won't let anything happen to her, I swear. I will do whatever I have to in order to keep her safe and alive."

He choked back a strange little sob, his face scrunched up with sadness and confusion. "Why?" he asked, hoarsely.

"Because," I said, trailing my fingertips through his hair more than was really necessary. "She's a part of you. You think I could bear to watch you destroy yourself if anything happened to her? I was being selfish before, but I'm not now. I'll do whatever I can, I promise."

And while I was preparing myself to be thanked, to be given a friendly, awkward smile…he suddenly grabbed hold of my again and kissed me full on the mouth. I jumped a little with shock because it was the last thing I had been expecting him to do - literally. He moaned and sobbed against my mouth and I knew I should have pushed him away - he was probably only doing this because he was vulnerable and it was wrong of me to let it continue.

But I wasn't that unselfish.

I threw myself into the kiss, twining my hands in his hair and suddenly we were moving backwards and my back hit a wall. He refused to let go of my mouth; kissing all his worry, sadness and terror into me because he knew I could handle it. I would take that pain from him and let him focus on what needed to be done.

The world outside this room froze in time; nothing moved, nothing happened outside of us. His lips on mine, our mouths, tongues, hands moving and finding one another to tangle together and grip as if one would fade away without the other…it was the most glorious kind of sadness I had ever experienced. I could feel our soul blazing between us and it was something he needed, because his half was broken and torn and hurting and mine could well stand to share the injuries. And we might as well have been one body too, for there couldn't have been a single measure of space between us. Were it not for the clothes and Bella's coat standing firmly between us, we would have been one body fused together by heat and need. But that coat wouldn't allow it…massively, unnecessarily symbolic, I knew.

And it all made sense. For those moments at least, it made perfect sense.

This was us, this was what we had together. Perfect, absolute bliss and devastating, utter desolation and whatever lay between it was no man's land. What we felt had no words, no true description because no humans had ever felt it. Instead they had a different substitute.

Happiness.

They had happiness where we had this. They could never feel this and if they did it would surely kill them. Instead they had a strange medium; a proxy emotion to substitute for something they couldn't experience. Happiness.

And that was why I could never give it to him. We would never make each other happy, not when we could do this. Not when we felt this…choking, aching, trembling undiluted passion, love, sadness, completion…and all else that escaped articulation. That was why we could love others…because they made us happy. They kept us grounded in reality, loved us, made us into better people and stopped us from fading away completely into one another, little did they know it.

And the fact that he loved her, for all of those moments we were entangled, meant nothing to me. I could feel him in every way it was possible to feel someone and some ways that weren't. He was there with me and we were the same soul, bleeding into one another. He gave me his pain and I took it, because he had done the same for me countless times. He had endured everything for me, silently, for years and I could certainly give him this.

Time reasserted itself and we were forced to break apart. He didn't tear himself from my lips like I thought he would, instead he kept his nose on mine, eyes closed and eyelashes still glittering with sweet tears. He held onto me, passing what remained of the abundant agony that had torn through him. I could almost feel it inside of me now, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was what he said next.

Hands on my face, he whispered "Not time or love or obligation."

I almost choked on a sob of my own; the transfer of his pain seemed intensely real all of a sudden and I thought I might actually cry just for hearing those words.

"Or happiness," I added, brokenly.

He opened his eyes, locking mercilessly with my own. "Rose…" he began.

"No, you listen to me," I breathed, placing my hands on his hot neck, down to his warm shoulders and finally trailing them down to his trembling fingers where I caught them with my own. "You deserve happiness as much as I do. I can't help what I am, or how jealous…selfish…cruel I might be but I'd never want to see you unhappy. Never. Bella makes you happy, I know that. I've always known that."

"It doesn't mean…" I pressed my lips to his own to silence him because I didn't want to untangle our hands.

"I know," I muttered against his mouth, trying to swallow down whatever grief wanted to now erupt from within. "I know, I know. I'm sorry for putting you through this. God I just…I wish there were words to say it, but there aren't. There never have been, probably never will be."

Eventually, I pulled away from him and tried to set myself right. He did the same, wiping at his eyes and training his face back into the way it had been before Carlisle had left us alone together. He was coming now, we had only seconds left.

"Rosalie," he breathed quickly. Our eyes met one last time before we would shut down and go about what needed to be done. "Thank you."

And the sheer amount that was contained inside that, made me think that maybe there were words after all.


A/N - This chapter took a LOT out of me once again. It's so bloody hard to work within the restrictions of canon but - as I'm sure you noticed - I pretty just went with the movie version of things. Once again I apologise if this annoys anyone, it's just a lot better for some reason. The movie is so much more open to interpretation than the books and a hell of a lot easier to work within. Almost all scenes in this chapter (canon ones) are direct and accurately from the film. The garage scene (thanks to Amber for the fantastic suggestions) was my favourite to write and also, if you re-watch the movie, listen out for the sudden bang and engine roar when Edward tells Bella 'You are my life now.' Tee Hee.

Special thanks go to Amber, Robyn, Aubre, EdwinaCullen, SkySamuelle and everyone else for sending in your AMAZING suggestions for lines in this chapter. As I'm sure you noticed, not everything made it into this chapter simply because I want to save them for Edward's POV in the next chapter. Really though, I can't thank you all enough for such amazing help that got me through this intensely tricky chapter.

So - onto the story. The official 'Twilight' zone (lol) will be ending in the next two chapters and then it's onto the four wonderful months of blank space in between Twilight and New Moon. New Moon will be intensely fun to write IMO. I'm still so obsessed with this story and I apologise to everyone for such a long delay in updating. I really cannot try harder than what I've been doing in the last few weeks, but I'm going to attempt it anyway. Also, I've been quite horribly ill once more, but I do have kittens now! Binx and Bam are SOOOOOO cute. My little babies. Anywho- updates should be back to a normal speed soon enough.

Shoutouts:

Amber…Oh Amber, there really are not words enough to thank you for your continued support and involvement in this. Let me only say I love you and you're simply incredible. Robyn, the same goes for you sweetheart. You are literally a source of inspiration for me during this story and I can't thank you enough for your FANTASTIC ideas which you so kindly gave me for this. Aubre, wishing you all the best and thanking you massively for your deeply effective input which has impacted this story greatly. Koky, for the incredible, deeply flattering reviews which I look forward to a ridiculous amount. Aceswild, for just being the sheer incarnation of AWESOME. Femme Teriyaki, you rock my world honey. Thanks so much.

CrAzCookyTash12, marieLONDON, narutoclaymorelove4eva, Koky, MayCullen, ufmary, JayJ1, It-Ended-At-3, lie4eva, MaddieVanDerWoodsen, Schmelly Inc, Ryoko05, Mia Arabella Malfoy, Maximista, VenusRising, luv4ed, Swill12, xtinkerxbell08x, mjinaspen, MACgical, twiggy94, Elhayln, rachelm23, AmyA.W, Tinuvielk, KandyKanemel, browniechadowes, jeweleryjunkie, crissycrisedward, Eosophilia (LOVE the name), Sky Samuelle, Emmelie Cullen, Kaprica6 and if I've forgotten anyone else, as usual, please shout at me and demand love. I'm more than happy to give it, because I am - unsurprisingly - SO grateful for each review you leave me. Which segways nicely into….

PLEASE REVIEW!

Anywho. Must post this now, as am starting to feel seriously guilty for such a long gap in between chapters. Thanks so much once again, can't wait to hear what you think of this.

Bex

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