Chapter 29: Revenge of the Lobster

(A/N: Credit once again goes to Snake Screamer for the idea, just the Lobster idea, though. The subplots were mine. Anyway, thanks again, Snake Screamer!)

Somewhere in a dark alley, two dark figures were having a discussion.

"You and I basically want the same thing," said one of the figures, "If you can do this task... I

will give riches beyond your wildest dreams."

"And just what is this job that you want me to do?" asked the other figure.

"I want you to destroy... THIS man!!!" he said as held out a photo with Zack and Meg on it.

"Consider it DONE!!!" said as he took out his lobster claw and pinched up Meg on the photo.

"NO NO!! The other one!" said the figure, "The one NEXT one you just crushed!"

"Oh, right! My bad," he said as he crushed Zack on the photo.

Meanwhile The Griffin family where going on a trip to Lois' parents' house for a visit. Everyone was excited, except Peter and Zack. Peter, because he hated Lois' dad, and Zack, because he was nervous about meeting Meg's grandparents.

"Zack, I'm sure my parents will like you," said Lois.

"No they won't," said Zack, "I don't look anything like some model rich boy with a... ugh... "proper" haircut."

"Don't worry," said Meg, "Just be yourself and everything will be fine."

"It's too bad that Chris couldn't come," said Lois, "I wonder why?"

"He said something about needing to help Jillian in her time of need or something," said Peter, "It sounds like a lot of bull if you ask me."

Meanwhile in Quahog, Chris is driving really fast in Jillian's car(even though he's only 14) to get her to a hospital. Yup, she's finally having the baby.

"CHRIS!!! IT HURTS!!! WHAT'S HAPPENEING TO ME?!?!?" she screamed.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE BABY!!!" shouted Chris as he was trying to drive.

"WHAT?!?!? BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STORK AND THE BABY FACTORY AND..."

"THOSE WERE ALL LIES!!! JUST KEEP BREATHING!!! WE'RE ALMOST AT THE HOSPITAL!!!" Chris then looks outside and see's a sign, "Jillian. Can I ask you something?"

"What...is it?" she said between breaths.

"Where's "Now Leaving Quahog"? I can't find it anywhere on this darn map," said Chris.

Jillian then screamed out loud. Meanwhile back in the Griffins' car.

"Hey, what the hell was that?" asked Peter.

"I dunno," said Zack, "I think it was the engine."

The family then finally make it to the Pewterschmidt mansion. They make their way to the living room where Lois hugs her parents.

"Mom! Dad," said Lois.

"Lois, dear," said Babs, "It's good to see you again."

"Hello Lois," said Carter, "So where is that blimpy husband of yours? And where is that husband you keep talking about, Meg?"

"Hey, where are Zack and Peter?" asked Lois.

Then suddenly, a valet parker is thrown through the window of the mansion, with Zack and Peter jumping through it. Zack picks him up and holds him by the arms while Peter proceeds to punch him in the stomache.

"WE REFUSE TO PAY $50 FOR VALET PARKING ONLY FOR YOU TO TAKE IT FOR A JOYRIDE AND SCRATCH THE PAINT JOB!!!" shouted Peter.

Zack then throws the parker onto the ground and kicks him.

"NOW GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!" shouts Zack.

"Um... Zack... these are my grandparents," said Meg.

"Whoops," said Zack as he looked at the glass covered floor, "I can fix that. You got any glue?"

"Oh, there's no need," said Carter, "Here, have a seat. Just make yourself at home, Mr. Zack."

"Mr. Zack?" asked Zack, "Hey, I like these folks."

"Peter, why don't you pick this glass up," asked Carter.

"Okay, but I'm gonna need a broom and a dustpan," said Peter.

"Oh no need. You can just pick it up like this," said Carter as he kickd Peter to the ground.

"AAAAUGHH!!! AAAAUUGGGHHH!!!" screamed Peter as his body was covered in glass shards.

"Hey, that was pretty cool!" said Zack.

"Not as cool as this," said Carter, "Oh my god, Peter, you're bleeding! I know how to fix that with an old Pewterschmidt family remedy! Just squeeze some lemon juice on the wounds!"

Carter then squeezes lemon juice, which only irritates Peter's wounds making him scream some more. Carter and Zack just laugh some more.

"Hey, I like this guy!" laughed Zack.

"Daddy, that's enough," said Lois, "Peter, let's just get you to a bathroom."

"Um, mom," said said Meg, "Don't you think it's strange that grandpa took a liking to Zack pretty fast?"

"Come to think of it," said Lois, "It does. He doesn't usually approve of anyone this fast, but well think about it later. Right now I need you to help me remove the glass from your father. Brian, can you watch Stewie and Maddie for us?"

"It's no problem," said Brian, "You know, I really do love to watch the little tyke."

"I know," said Stewie, "I'm awesome."

"And then there's that stupid runt, Stewie," said Brian, "I get tired of watching him, but Maddie being there makes it all worth it."

"Oh, wipe that smug smile off your face," said Stewie to Maddie.

"Great grandpa, where's the bathroom," asked Maddie.

"Oh the bathroom's the 13 room to the right," said Carter, "You're such an adorable little girl. Here's 20 dollars."

"Thank you, Grandpa Carter," said Maddie sweetly.

Stewie then saw Maddie with her $20 and wanted money, too.

"Say, Granfather Carter," said Stewie, "Have you lost weight? I say, that is quite a spiffy tie. Is it new? It goes very well with your spiffy suit. And that well groomed mustache! Oh, you must tell me what kind of conditioner you use."

"What? Oh, hi Stewie," said Carter, "What you wanted something, too? Here you go."

Carter then gave Stewie... a breath mint.

"What the deuce?" he asked.

"Wow, Stewie," said Brian, "You got a breath mint. You really need it, what with all the ass kissing you just did."

"Well played, Brian," said Stewie, "Well played."

Later on, Brian, Stewie and Maddie are on their way to the bathroom... except...

"Um, Maddie," said Brian, "We've just past the 13th door."

"I know," she said.

"...That was the bathroom," he added.

"I know," she said.

"You didn't need to go to the bathroom, did you?" he asked.

"Nope," said Maddie, "I'm trying to look for the hidden vault. I want some of that money."

"What?" asked Brian, "You can't do that! Stealing is wrong."

"As much as I'd hate to admit it, the dog is right," said Stewie, "Now it may already be too late for me, but I will not have my niece becoming some retched thief. Next thing you know, it will lead to you becoming a whore or a politician, or... a polical whore!"

"I'll let you in on the deal," said Maddie.

"And did I mention that this world needs a political whore?" asked Stewie.

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Zack is having a converation with Carter.

"You know, it may seem like I'm a jerk, but I'm actually a very nice guy once you get to know me," said Carter as he took a drink from his champagne glass but promptly spat it out, "YOU CALL THIS CHAMPAGNE?!?!" he shouted at his butler, "THIS IS CRAP!!! I WOULDN'T GIVE THIS TO A CRACK WHORE!!!" he then threw the champagne on the carpet, "NOW CLEAN THAT UP, AND I WANT YOU CLEAN IT BY SUCKING IT OUT OF THE CARPET!!!"

"Yes, Mr. Pewterschmidt," said the Butler as he got on his hands and knees to suck the carper. Carter then put his feet on his back like a foot stool.

"You see," said Carter, "He doesn't know me too well, so I may seem like a jerk to him. If he got to know me better, I'd be nicer."

"Oh, I get it," said Zack, "I think."

"Zack, I only want the best for my granddaughter," said Carter, "And you seem like it, despite your unruly hair and punkish look. It's too bad that Lois couldn't get a decent husband aside from that giant turd with glasses."

"You said it," said Zack, "I mean, the guy is such an idiot and he never seems to take Lois seriously. I, too wonder why does she still put up with him?"

"Say... how do you feel about bigomy?" asked Carter.

"Huh?" Zack asked.

Back in Quahog, Chris gets pulled over by Joe.

"You just sit there," said Chris, "I'll do all the talking. I know how to talk my way out of a ticket."

"Hi there, Chris," said Joe, "Say, do your parents know that you're driving without a license?"

Chris then quickly speeds off in the car.

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!" shouted Joe, "CALLING ALL UNITS!!! WE GOT OURSELVES A CARCHASE!!!"

Joe gets back in his police car and speeds after them.

"I thought you said you knew how to talk your way out of a ticket!!!" said Jillian.

"I choked, okay?!?!" said Chris, "Anyway, do you think you can hold that baby in until we can get to Mexico?"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" shrieked Jillian in pain.

"We'll try anyway," said Chris.

Back at the Pewtershmidt Mansion, Brian, Stewie, and Maddie are trying to crack the code to a huge vault.

"Anything, yet?" asked Maddie.

"Nothing," said Stewie, "This lock is tighter than a virgin on Sunday!"

"You know, I could into a lot of trouble for this," said Brian.

"Aha! I cracked it open," said Stewie.

As he opened the vault, all 3 of them saw what appeared to a HUGE room with dollars and gold coins everywhere!

"Last one in is the Fatman's left ass cheek!" said Stewie as he and Maddie ran into the room. They both then dove into the pile of money, "Look at me! I'm Scrooge McDuck! I swim in money and I probably molest my nephews at least once a week!"

"C'mon in, Brian!" said Maddie, "The money's fine. A little cold, though. And the coins can be pretty hard. It gets pretty annoying when they get stuck between your toes, too. In fact, I've got a dime up my nose right now, but who cares? It's money!"

"We're not supposed to be here," said Brian, "Get out of that money right now!"

"But Brian, haven't you've always wondered what it's like to swim in money?" asked Maddie.

Brian then thinks for a moment.

"CANNONBALL!!!" he shouts as he dives into the money. He then rises back up to the surface and begins pouring coins on himself, "MINE!!! MINE!!! AAAAALLLL MIIIIINE!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

"Just imagine if we had all this money," said Maddie.

"Yeah..." said Stewie.

Brian imagines himself in a huge mansion surrounded by beautiful women feeding him grapes.

Maddie imagines herself in a mansion being surrounded by hunky men feeding her grapes.

Stewie imagines herself in a mansion being surrounded by hunky men feeding him grapes. Oh, and he's ruler of everything. One of the men tries to eat a grape for himself, but Stewie quickly vaporizes him with his ray gun.

"Oh, I wish Carter would stop leaving his vault open," said Babs as she proceeded to shut it and lock it, "There."

"What the heck just happened?" asked Stewie, "I can't see my money!"

Brian then goes up to the vault door and tries to open it, but it won't budge.

"Oh, crap! It's stuck!" said Brian.

"You mean we're trapped here?" asked Maddie.

"I suppose it's not all bad," said Stewie, "We do have plent of money and all that matters. Remember, money is very important."

"NOT IF YOU CAN'T SPEND IT!!!" said Maddie.

"My god, you're right!" said Stewie, "It's just useless green paper, now!!! LET US OUT!!!"

They all then started shouting for help from inside the vault. Meanwhile in the bathroom, Lois and Meg are still trying to remove glass shards from Peter.

"Hey, Meg," said Peter, "I think there's one stuck on my left buttcheek. Could you pull it out?"

"This better not be a trick," said Meg, "The second I reach there, you'll fat on my hand!"

"No trick this time," said Peter.

Meg then tried to reach for the glass shard but Peter then let's out a big nasty fart.

"EEEEEWWWW!!! DAD!!!" shouted Meg.

"HAHAHAHA!!! Lois, she fell for it again!" laughed Peter.

"Oh Peter!" laughed Lois, "You're just awful!"

"Whatever," said Meg annoyed, "I'm gonna go wash my hand in the other bathroom."

After washing her hands in the other bathroom, she notices a notebook on the sink.

"What's this?" she asked as she took a look on, "Grandpa's to do list? Prod at the blimp... Pretend to be Zack's friend? Make a rap music video under the alias "MC Carter"? Kill Zack? OH MY GOD!!! Grandpa wants to make a rap music video! And what kind of a name is MC Carter? Eww! Wait! He also wants to kill Zack! I have to warn hi- MMMMMFFF!!!" she screamed as a mysterious man from behind her used one of Peter's socks to cover her mouth. She then slowly lost consciousness and fell limply to the ground.

Back in Quahog, Chris and Jillian were still being pursued by the cops in the streets of Quahog.

"Chris! Their gaining on us!" said Jillian, "AND THE BABY'S COMING!!!"

"I'll try to lose them in the alley!!!" said Chris, "Just keep holding that baby in!"

"I CAN'T!!!" Jillian screamed, "CHRIS, FORGET THE COPS!!! JUST GET ME TO A HOSPITAL!!! NOW!!!"

"Oh, okay then," said Chris as he parked in front of the hospital which just so happened to conveniently be there.

"That's it?" she asked, "No long police chase of us trying to get to the hospital?"

"Nope," said Chris.

"Wow, that's just so anti-climactic," said Jillian.

"I know," said Chris, "I'm pretty disappointed, too. Now let's just get you to the emergency room."

Joe and the however were still speeding, and unfortunately for him, he happened to pass them.

"What the?" said Joe as he looked at the road, "OH MY GOD!!! HIT THE DECK!!!"

To his horror he saw on the road, a lone soda can. He and his partner then jumped out of the car. The can and the car made contact and nothing happened. Then seconds later the car exploded.

"DAMN YOU 7UP!!!" shouted Joe to the sky, "DAAAAAAMN YOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!"

Back at the Pewterschmidt Mansion Zack is playing video games in the game room when Carter walks in.

"Where the heck did you just go?" he asked.

"Oh, I just had to take care of some business," said Carter, "Somebody was getting a bit... too nosey."

"About what?" he asked.

"Nothing," he quickly said, "Say, do you think MC Carter is a good rap alias?"

"Mmmm... No, I don't," said Zack.

"Oh," said Carter, "What do you think sounds better?"

"Why?" asked Zack.

"Oh no reason," he said, "I'm definitely not going to try to make a rap video! Oh no. I was just curious."

"Well... you could try Grand Master C," said Zack.

"Grand Master C... Hey... I kinda like it," said Carter as the front door then had a knock, "Oh could you get that? I'll bet it's for you."

"Hello?" asked Zack as he walked to the door. His face was then met by a large red clawlike fist that sent Zack flying to the other side of the room, "Ouch... What the hell?!?!"

"Well, well, Zack," said the large Lobster man in pants and an open shirt, "We meet again."

"Meet again?" asked Zack in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"Aww, don't tell me you don't remember," said the Lobster, "Remember that night at the resteraunt? I was the lobster."

Inside Zack's mind, he could remember images of the lobster attack from that night.

"But that's impossible!" said Zack, "It was a small lonster I tossed it into the pot! It died that night!"

The lobster then punched Zack again onto the ground.

"Carter... help me up," said Zack.

"Sure thing, Zack," said Carter as he helped and then grabbed his arms as the lobster started pummeling him.

"OW!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?" shouted Zack.

"You didn't think I really wanted to be your friend, did you?!?!?" said Carter, "Although I am gonna take your Grand Maser C idea. That was actually good."

How could you!?!?" said Zack ,"I'm your granddaughter's husband, for god's sake!"

"That's exactly why!!!" he said angrily, "I simply refuse to have a Pewterschmidt by blood being related to a commoner such as yourself! That's why I'm going to have this lobster fight you to the death! Because not only will it kill you, it's also because the thought of a giant lobster killing a man in unarmed combat is hilarious!"

"I want to know how did that lobster get so big?" asked Zack.

"Well after you left that resteraunt and left me in the pot to die," he continued, "I was later served to the Pewterschidts as dinner."

"That was then when I noticed something in the lobster's eyes," said Carter, "He had a thirst for revenge. So instead of eating him, I had my scientists bring him back to life. With technology we wanted to make him faster... stronger!!! Then we said screw it and just gave him a rediculous amount of steroids to speed up the process."

"From that day, I was no longer an ordinary lobster," he said, "I am now called, Lobster!"

"...Lobster?" asked Zack, "That's it?"

"What?" he asked, "What's wrong with Lobster."

"Nothing, but it's just that you're already a lobster," said Zack.

"Don't you want a better name," asked Carter, "You know, like maybe Super Lobster?"

"No... I think Lobster's just fine," said Lobster.

"How about... The Pinchazoid?" asked Zack.

"No, I, I like Lobster," said Lobster, "It's pretty self explanatory."

"Couldn't you try Big Red?" asked Carter.

"You know, I've always though the Red Menace was a cool name," said Zack.

"No, guys just stop," said Lobster.

Then everybody began talking all at once for a moment.

"No! NO!!! LOBSTER IS FINE, OKAY!!!", shouted Lobster, "I chose it, and that's what we're gonna stick by!!!"

"Okay, then Lobster it is," said Zack.

"Are you sure you don't want Big Red?" asked Carter.

"No, Lobster is fine, Carter," said Lobster.

"Alright then," said Carter as he Zack and Lobster just stood there for a moment, "So what were we just doing?"

"Um, I don't know," said Lobster, "Uh, I think we having a fight about something."

"Yeah... you guys were having some sort of evil dialogue going on," said Zack.

"Oh yeah! My origin story," said Lobster, "Where was I on that?"

"You were at the end when you decided to call yourself Lobster," said Zack, "Then we got into that conversation."

"Yeah, now I'm starting to remember," said Carter.

"Okay, okay, here goes," said Lobster, "And now! I shall kill you just like- PPPPFFFTTT!!! Hahaha!! I can't do it man! I can't keep a straight face."

"Oh c'mon, man!" laughed Zack, "We need to keep the fic rolling."

"Okay, just let me get my serious face, here," said Lobster, "And now, I will kill- BWAHAHAHA!!! I still can't do it! Carter keeps making faces over there!"

"Carter! Cut it out, man!" laughed Zack, "Oh great, now you got ME laughing!"

"Okay, I'll stop it, now!" said Carter, "Wait, I just got an idea!" he said as he left the room and came back, "We'll do this scene while wearing sombreros. This'll totally freak the readers out!"

They all then put on sombreros.

"Okay, and go!" said Carter.

"And now!" said Lobster, "I will kill you, just like you killed me those many nights ago!"

"Bring it on, Lobster!" said Zack as they both got into a fighting stance.

Peter and Lois then enter the living room to see Zack and Lobster about to go at it.

"What the hell?" asked Lois, "Daddy can you explain- PPPFFFTTT!!! Why are you guys wearing sombreros?" she laughed.

"I know," said Carter, "Don't we just look silly?"

"Oh I know!" said Peter, "That was pretty good."

"Seriously, though," said Lois, "Daddy, what is a giant lobster doing here facing Zack?"

"Oh, they're just about to have a fight... TO THE DEATH!!!" said Carter.

Zack and Lobster then both leapt into the air making out battlecries. As they are both about to engage in a brutal fight, we must now go back to Quahog where Jillian is about to give birth. Sorry.

"PUSH!!!" shouted Dr. Hartman, "PUSH!!!"

"PUSH!!!" shouted Chris, "PUSH WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!!!"

"The Patriots fumble the ball!" said the announcer on the hospital TV.

"Dammit!" shoutes Dr. Hartman, "HOW COULD YOU DROP THE FREAKING BALL?!?!?"

"Oh, this is just embarrassing," said Chris as he put his fingers between his eyes.

"Um, hello?" asked Jillian, "I need help giving birth!"

"Yeah in a minute!" said Dr. Hartman, "We'll be there during the halftime show."

"DOCTOR!!!" screamed Jillian in pain.

"Jillian, we can't hear the TV while you're screaming," said Chris, "Could you please keep it down?"

Meanwhile in the Pewterschmidt vault, Brian, Maddie, and Stewie are still trapped.

"So..." said Stewie, "You think we're missing anything important?"

"Nah," said Maddie, "It's not like my dad is about to go in hand to hand combat to the death against a pumped up lobster named Lobster all concocted by grandpa."

"Yeah," said Brian, "That would just be crazy."

"Yeah...," said Stewie, "You what I haven't had in a while? Boston Baked Beans."

"Oh yeah, that's the good stuff," said Maddie.

"You said it," said Brian, "Boston Baked Beans. You know, they're not really beans. They're just peanuts wrapped in a sweet coating."

"Yeah, but they look like beans, though," said Maddie, "If we ever get out of here, let's get us some Boston Baked Beans."

"Oh yeah, that's good," said Stewie, "Can't wait to get me some Boston Baked Beans."

Back in the living room, Zack and Lobster were engaged in combat. At first, they kept parrying and dodging each other's attacks until Lobster gets a head shot. Zack tries to take a swing, but Lobster ducks and uppercuts him in the chin which makes Zack back up into a wall. Lobster then starts pummeling Zack against the wall. Zack then then stumbles onto a couch. Lois then puts a wet towel on Zack's forehead while Peter starts rubbing on his shoulders.

"How many fingers am I holding?" asked Lois.

"Hey, quit movin' Peter," slurred Zack which made him sound like Rocky Balboa, "I don't think I can take 'em. He's just too fast!"

"You're a bum, Zack!" said Peter, "Now get out there and knock him out!"

Zack then slowly gets up from the chair and stumbled towards Lobster, Zack tried to throw a punch at him, but falls unconscious.

"Lobster Wins!" said Peter in a deep demonic voice, "Flawless Victory!"

"Peter, cut that out," said Lois.

Zack then got up and proceeded to dust himself off.

"Okay, call it," said Zack as he got into another fighting stance.

"Round 2," said Peter, "FIGHT!"

Zack then proceeds to pull out an awesome 10 hit combo on the Lobster that went X, left, Square, Right, Triangle, Triangle, and the rest he used cheat codes. This took out half of Lobster's energy.

"Not bad," said Lobster, "But can you handle THIS?"

Lobster then proceeded to use his special move known as the flying claw which shot out an image of a claw towards Zack. Zack however ducked, and used his special move which involved him shooting out a roped spear at Lobster. He then pulled on the rope and shouted...

"GET OVER HERE!!!" as he then uppercut Lobster with the free hit. As Lobster got up, Zack proceeded to own his ass with another 10 hit combo which depleted the rest of Lobster's energy.

"Zack wins!" said Peter, "Flawless victory!"

"Okay..." said Lobster, "You caught me off gaurd, that time. Here comes the tie breaker!"

"Oh let me say it this time!" said Lois as she jumped up and down.

"Um okay..." said Peter.

"Round 3," said Lois, "FIGHT!!!"

Lobster and Zack got into a different kind of fight mode: DBZ fight mode. They proceeded to fight each other at lightning speed dodging and parrying attacks while disappearing and reappearing at random places. Lobster then did a double sledgehammer knocking Zack all the way back to the streets of Quahog. The Lobster then flew in at high speed. Zack grabs Lobster by the leg and throws him into a building that collapses. He then begins shooting a wave of ki energy balls at the spot where Lobster was. Lobster was behind him and punched him the stomache and delivered a round house kick that sent him hurling into a car. People began screaming and ran out from the area. He then throws a huge energy wave that creates a giant energy dome that obliterates that particular area.

When the smoke clears, Zack is still standing as if he was unscratched. And since this is a parody of a Dragonball Z fight, this could take a while.

Several Episodes Later...

Now Zack having reached Super Saiyan 10 and Lobster having reached his 100th form have taken the fight to outer space. They proceed to pummel each other at high speed until Zack knocks Lobster into the Earth's atmosphere where Zack follows him.

Meanwhile back in the Pewterschidt Mansion, Peter, Lois, and Carter have gotten bored and are now playing cards.

"You got any threes?" asked Carter.

"Go fish," said Peter.

"Got any ones?" asked Lois.

Suddenly, Lobster crashes through the wall and is bloodied up. Zack then walks towards Lobster's mangled body and then collapses.

"Whoa," said Peter in amazement, "Look at the size of that lobster!"

"I'm not... going to... ever... do that again..." breathed Zack.

Meg then finally ran into the room.

"Zack!!! I'm here to warn you that grandpa wants to ki-" said Meg before she noticed the wreckage, "Never mind."

"Meg, where the heck where you?" asked Zack.

"I was in the other room tied and gagged," she said, "I remember being knocked unconscious by a very bad smell."

"Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt is that one of my socks?" asked Peter.

"Um, no," he quickly said as he stuffed it into his pocket.

"Alright Carter," said Zack as he grabbed him by the collar, "Your lobster can't save you, now! I think it's time I finished this!"

"What are you doing?!?!" asked Carter.

"Something Peter should've done a long time ago!" said Zack.

"Zack don't!" shouted Meg.

"He's my father!" said Lois, "You can't kill him!"

"What?" asked, "No! I wasn't gonna kill him!"

"You're not?" asked Peter, "Then what was it that I should've done to him a long time ago?"

"This," said Zack, "I'M FAMILY NOW SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, PISS OFF OLD MAN!!!" Zack then let him go.

"Wow," said Carter, "That actually hurt."

"Daddy, I'm sorry about all of this," said Lois.

"Well, it's alright, pumpkin," said Carter, "I suppose if Meg wants to be with trash then it shouldn't be my business. Besides, he's Peter's problem anyway."

"So does that mean you'll respect us?" asked Peter.

"Hell no!" said Carter, "I'm rich! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a rap video to make."

Carter then put on a do rag and left the room.

"You there's one thing I learned from all this," said Peter.

"That sometimes some people just won't accept you?" asked Lois.

"No," said Peter, "There going to be a Chicken/Lobster tag team fight in a future chapter."

"Oh, yeah," said Meg, "It's going to happen."

Later on, the family returns home to Quahog where they are then greeted by Chris.

"So how was your day, Chris?" asked Lois.

"It was great," said Chris, "And We've got a huge surprise! Jillian?"

Jillian then walked into the room holding two babies. One was a blonde boy and one was a brown haired girl.

"We had twins!" said Jillian.

"Oh my god!" said Meg, "They're so cute!"

"The boy's name is C.J.," said Chris, "That stands for Chris Jr."

"And the girl's name is Tilly," said Jillian.

"Oh, what a couple of cute babies," said Lois, "Just like Stewie and Madeline."

"Wait," said Meg, "Where ARE Stewie and Maddie?"

"And Where's Brian?" asked Zack.

Back in the Pewterschmidt vault at night...

"We're not gonna get those Boston Baked Bean anytime soon are we?" asked Maddie.

"Nnnnnnnnope, I don't think so," said Brian.

"You know, we're missing The Office right now," said Stewie.

"Really?" asked Brian, "Damn! Well, we'll just have to wait for the rerun, then."

"So... how long do you think it'll take for them to notice that we're missing?" asked Maddie.

"A while my friend," said Stewie, "A good long while..."

"So, now what?" asked Brian.

The both just sat there for a few seconds.

"MONEY FIGHT!!!" they all shouted as they then began to throw stacks of money at each other.

End Chapter