Here's all I have to say: I'm really sorry for taking so long to update and I refuse to believe this is the end of Eclare. Degrassi is a crazy world, but somehow everything comes together, eventually. It may take a few months, or even longer, and they need to take care of their personal problems first, but sooner or later, things will start to get better.
I never really say this, but thank you to everyone that reviews,, it means a lot to me. I hope you keep reading (and reviewing).

Eli stared at Clare, confused, the issue of Gothic Tales held limply in one hand. He couldn't understand why she wasn't more excited. How was this school dance more important than the fact that they had both just been published? The story they had worked so hard on together was forgotten, seemingly unimportant now. He felt a twinge of hurt and disappointment, but he tried to shake it off. He made a crack about the dance and Clare bristled, stepping back and glaring at him.

"If you're not interested, don't come." She said evenly. She turned on her heel and walked up the steps to the school. He stood frozen there at the bottom of the steps until she was gone, and then slowly walked to Morty, not in the mood to face first period.

Did the dance mean that much to Clare? Or was it something else? He constantly had the sinking feeling that their relationship was crumbling around his feet and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He tried spending as much time as possible with her, cramming in every possible second together. That didn't seem to be working. Clare thought he didn't see her expressions when he turned away from her, but he did. Out of the corner of his eye he saw every grimace, every uncomfortable squirm. And it killed him. Slowly her need for distance was bringing forward a familiar desperation. The one that came up when she started to drift away. But Clare wasn't her. Things would be different this time. They had to be.


Clare sighed, shifting from one foot to the other, as she stood by the refreshment table. True, she had pretended like it she could go to the dance without Eli and be perfectly fine, but that was a lie. She lied to him, she lied to herself, she just flat out lied. She craved his hand in hers as they stood side by side. If only he was here just a little while. To talk to Clare, to laugh with her, to hold her.

Wow. The one time Eli wasn't keeping a dangerously close eye on her, she wanted him. Wasn't she the one pushing him away, desperate for some alone time? Well, now she had it. And what did she want? To be with him.

All it took was five minutes in this crowded room without Eli to realize the one thing she needed to know all along. She loved him in that irreversible way that made him hers for life. If he left her, he would take her heart with him. He had her heart locked up with him all the time and he didn't even know it. He thinks she hates him for pressing in on her, when really she was just confused. She needed to step away from herself for a second to see the full picture. And the further she stepped the more she saw that he would always be in the picture with her.

She heard someone move behind her and she coughed, bringing her hand up to her face so she could brush away any tears that may have appeared.

"Clare?" A black clad arm reached out to her, hesitated, and then dropped out of her line of vision.

She spun around in disbelief. "Eli?" He was standing there in a black blazer and pants and a navy collared shirt. He looked uncomfortable but his eyes were pleading.

"Clare, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been keeping you so close; I'm sorry that things haven't been the same. If you just give me another chance, I think we can make things work. We can start over."

Clare hesitated. Yes, she loved Eli more than anyone else in the world. Yes, she felt like she belonged with him for the rest of her life. But she couldn't just pretend like nothing happened. She couldn't make the feeling of suffocation she'd been feeling lately disappear. There had to be something she could do. "Eli, I know you've been through a lot. I'm not going to stand here and lie and say I completely understand, but I know that I want to understand. I want to be able to help you, Eli, but I don't think I can right now. Maybe if you go to see a therapist, I could . . . I could come sometimes, too. If you'd want me there. We can't start over, Eli. We've been through too much together. But we can try and rebuild what's been breaking down. I love you, so much, and I want this, us, more than anything in the world. Will you . . . will you try with me?" For a moment, they were in their own bubble of silence, everyone else faded into the background.

Eli stepped forward and took Clare's face in his hands. "I love you, too, Clare. I just . . . I just have . . . a lot of problems. I'm messed up."

Clare shook her head, ignoring the tears that were building in her eyes, "We're both messed, Eli. I think we always will be. But if we get help maybe handling it will just get easier."

Eli smiled sadly at her and nodded. With that small movement he finally gave in, letting himself be helped, acknowledging that maybe he couldn't carry the world on his shoulders all the time with just Clare by his side. He held his hand out to her, "Care to dance with your messed up . . . boyfriend?" He faltered at the end, not sure if she still wanted to put a label on them when their relationship was so unstable. Clare nodded; her expression was melancholy yet hopeful at the same time. As she rested her head on his shoulder, his even heart beats reassuring her, she knew that somehow they would make it through.