A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I truly appreciate them! :)
Disclaimer: You guys know I don't own Passions. If I did, well, it would've turned out quite differently.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: "From the Mouths of Babes"
Hope looked up at Ethan, and he could feel her brown eyes piercing him. She still had the strange expression on her face. Tilting her head to the side, Hope announced, "You love her, don't you?"
Ethan looked to Theresa and back to Hope, his brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Joy sighed and rolled her eyes, as though Ethan should know exactly what her sister meant.
Hope repeated, "You love her. You love Tia Theresa."
Ethan opened his mouth to protest, but the words would not come out. He looked at Theresa and felt so many things, as he always did when he saw her or thought of her. It wasn't as simple as loving her or not loving her. Too many other things were involved: longing, hope, guilt, disappointment, desire, passion, and an undeniable connection. But he realized that his feelings did not have a right to exist.
Theresa felt the blood drain from her face as she put her arms around the little girls' shoulders. Kneeling down, she said, "Girls, don't be silly! You know that Mr. Crane is married and loves his wife very much."
"But Tia Theresa...," Hope protested.
"I thought we were going to have a picnic," Theresa said, forcing cheerfulness into her voice as she abruptly tried to end the conversation.
This was certainly not the day she had anticipated. She imagined it would be fun, but uneventful. Yet her nieces were always proving that she should expect the unexpected.
Theresa couldn't make herself look at Ethan, but she could feel his gaze on her.
"Thank you again, Ethan, for finding this little nymph," Theresa said standing and squeezing Hope's shoulder. "Come on, girls. Let's get going."
Theresa started to gather her tote bag, picnic basket, and blanket while keeping hold of the girls. It wasn't working. After a few steps, she lost her grip on the tote bag, dropping it. Its contents scattered across the grass.
Silently cursing, she hurriedly knelt to retrieve the items. Ethan did the same.
As both of them reached for a children's book that had fallen from the bag, their hands touched. Theresa drew in a breath as she felt the electricity surge through her. It was something that had never gone away. Their eyes met, and Theresa felt as though time was standing still. She always could get lost in his deep blue eyes.
Immediately, she felt horribly guilty. What was happening to her? It was bad enough that she was spending time with Drew Winthrop, but for her to look at Ethan and wonder about the possibilities between them? Absently, she touched the ring she still wore on her left hand.
"Th-thank you, Ethan," she said quietly as he gave her the book.
They stood, and Theresa looked back at the girls who were surveying Ethan and her with great interest. Hurriedly, Theresa tried to get everything picked up and in her arms again. Once again, she dropped something, though this time it was the blanket.
Ethan leaned over and picked it up. "Why don't you let me help you carry this? You just hold on to the girls."
Theresa hesitated. She opened her mouth to tell him no thank you, but the words simply would not form. Numbly, she nodded.
"Tia Theresa, I know the perfect spot for us," Joy announced pulling on Theresa's hand. "Come on!"
Theresa couldn't help but smile when she felt Joy's little hand tugging on hers. Of course, Joy didn't realize it, but she and Hope also pulled on Theresa's heartstrings. She still felt such a sense of awe when she looked at her nieces. One day, she hoped to have little girls and little boys of her own. Until then, she intended to enjoy every aspect of being an aunt.
Joy led everyone to a grassy knoll situated under two large oak trees, which provided adequate shade. Theresa was grateful for that because the sun was beginning to feel warmer or was it just her imagination? and she was looking forward to being in the shade. Joy's reasons for leading them to that particular spot were not quite so altruistic. The area was conveniently located next to a huge play area, complete with swings, a slide, monkey bars, and a sand box.
As Ethan began to set the items he had carried down, Hope and Joy were already begging to be allowed to go and play on the swings. Theresa smiled and nodded in agreement, and the girls were on their way.
Ethan watched them go, mesmerized by how much they reminded him of younger versions of Theresa. He turned back to Theresa who was spreading the blanket on the grass. "They look so much like you," he commented.
"Do you really think so?" Theresa asked as she sat down.
"I do. It's rather uncanny, actually. I was visiting my Aunt Sheridan earlier and took some items to her that Mother found in the old nursery at the house. One of the items I took was a photo album, and there was a picture of you in it. The big brown eyes and the big smile were unmistakable. So when I saw Hope, I was truly taken aback. She and Joy look as though they could be your daughters."
Theresa's face clouded, remembering all the things that she had once thought would be, but simply weren't.
"I probably need to go home," Chuck told Theresa between kisses. "It's getting late."
Leaning against him as they sat on the sofa, Theresa wrapped her arms around him tightly, not wanting him to go. "Stay with me," she whispered.
He touched her hair; it was as smooth as silk, and he always loved the way it felt to his touch. So soft. So beautiful. Just like the rest of her. "Temptress, that's probably not such a good idea," he replied chuckling. "Remember what we agreed?"
She sighed. "I remember. We agreed to wait until after the wedding, but that's only a few days away! Besides, it was my idea!"
Chuck kissed her on the forehead chastely. "If we waited this long, we can wait three more days. Besides, I don't want you to have any regrets."
"I would never have any regrets where you're concerned. You are my rock. If I'm lost, I only need to look back to you to find my way again."
"It's funny that you say that because I've often thought the same thing of you. I mean, you know the way I was before we found each other. I had no direction and no ambition. Everything was about playing the game...whether that game was tennis or something else. But you've taught me that there is so much more to any of us than mere frivolity. I can't wait for us to begin all the wonderful things we've planned."
"Tell me how our lives are going to be," Theresa said leaning her head against his chest, listening to the pounding of his heart.
He laughed lightly, and she could feel the vibrations of his body as he did. Theresa loved being close to him and being held in his arms.
"Our life together is going to be perfect, and we're going to have it all. You're already knocking everyone's socks off with your designs, and before long, I'm going to be married to the most promising and innovative new designer in the entire fashion industry. And our children are going to be just wonderful, too. All six of them are going to look just like you ,"
"All six!" Theresa exclaimed, interrupting him.
"All four then?" he asked.
"How about all five? Just like in my family...three boys and two girls."
He nodded. "Five it is. And as I was saying, they're all going to look exactly like you."
She looked up at him and smiled. "I don't know, Chuck. I think I would like it if they all looked exactly like you. You are, after all, the most wonderfully handsome man in the entire world."
"No, they're going to look like you, and that's that," he declared.
"How about a compromise?" she suggested. "The boys will look like you, and the girls will look like me."
"That sounds fair," he agreed with a grin. "Wouldn't it be wonderful if by this time next year, we had a baby on the way?"
"It would be. I know everyone thinks we're crazy for wanting children right away, but what do they know? I can't wait to feel our baby growing inside of me, and I can't wait for that first breath, and that first step."
"And I can't wait to get started on trying to have that first baby," Chuck replied.
"Then stay with me tonight. Let's get a little practice," she said with a wink.
"In three days, Love. In three days."
Chuck stood, and Theresa did the same. Looking down into her luminous brown eyes, he said, "Never doubt that I love you more than anything in this entire world." Taking her hand, he placed it over his chest. "My heart beats only for you."
Theresa felt tears sting her eyes as their lips touched. There was desperation and need in their kiss, and Theresa was afraid her knees would give way.
"I love you so much, and I can't wait to be your wife."
He touched her face gently. "I'd better go or I'll never want to leave. I'll see you in the morning."
"Until then," she said before spontaneously kissing him again. "Call me when you get home to let you know you're in safely."
"I will," he promised.
The call never came.
"Theresa, what is it?" Ethan asked upon seeing the look of devastation on her features. "What did I say?"
Fighting back the tears which were forming, Theresa shook her head. "It's not you. I, I just..." her voice trailed off and she looked down at her left hand at her engagement ring. "Three more days," she whispered. "If only..."
Seeing the way she looked wistfully at her ring, Ethan understood. "You're missing Chuck, aren't you?"
She nodded. "We used to always talk about what our future was going to be like. We'd talk about the children we were going to have and what they'd look like." Between tears, Theresa managed a little smile. "You see, the boys were going to look like him and the girls were going to look like me. It just never happened, though."
Ethan sat down next to Theresa and wrapped his arms around her. "Theresa, I'm so sorry."
"I'm okay. Really I am," she said, trying to shake off her raw emotions. "I have so many wonderful memories, and I wouldn't trade what I had with Chuck for anything in the world. Our relationship was so amazing and special and uncomplicated. There was never any doubt about how he felt for me or how I felt for him. We were never untruthful with each other. Everything was just a simple progression for us. No twists and turns. No detours."
Unlike us, Ethan thought. Would their lives be different if Theresa hadn't left Harmony five years ago? It's a selfish, foolish thought, Ethan reprimanded himself.
Ethan took her left hand in his and touched her large diamond ring. "You still wear his ring," he stated simply.
"If, heaven forbid, something were to happen to Gwen, would you stop wearing your wedding ring right away? I don't think so."
"Theresa, it's been over a year."
She jerked her hand away from him. "What is it with you and Luis? You could be each other's echo!" she snapped. "Just because it's been over a year, that doesn't mean that it has stopped hurting or that I'm ready to put the memories away. And who are you to even suggest that I do? Luis has an excuse for his interference. He's my brother. But you, Ethan? What makes you even think that it's any of your business? But you keep popping up! First at my house after my date and now here at the park."
"Do you think I sit around at the park all day just hoping that you'll walk by? I have better things to do, Theresa. As for the evening at your house, I thought you were in trouble. My mistake."
"Look, Ethan. I'm sorry. It's just that everyone seems to have an opinion about how I should be living my life. I'm doing the best that I can, and I am trying to move on."
"And I'm just trying to make sure that you're alright."
"But it isn't your responsibility," Theresa replied. "It's as though you want to tell me how I should feel, but it's not your place. Besides, last time I checked, you hadn't exactly cornered the market in successful relationships."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Ethan demanded.
"Never mind. Forget I said anything," Theresa replied, defeat evident in her slumped shoulders.
"No, I want to know what you meant."
"Fine. If you must know, it just seems to me as though you have something to say about my relationships, but you can't make your own work."
"And you know this because...?"
"Besides my own personal experience with you, I've noticed that everyone seems to skirt around the issue of your happiness. The first night I saw Sheridan, I asked her about you and if you were happy. She never answered my question but gave me some vague description of all of your activities in Crane Industries and in the community." She continued on without stopping for a breath. "I asked you that night on the pier if you were happy, and you never answered me. That, coupled with the fact that I keep having these terribly unpleasant encounters with your wife and mother-in-law, indicates to me that something is rotten in the state of Denmark. What am I supposed to think?"
Theresa stopped and looked back at Ethan, and embarrassment flowed through her as she realized that she'd allowed herself to ramble a bit too much.
Ethan did not confirm nor deny her suggestion. He merely asked, "Why would you even be concerned about my happiness? After the way we left things off..."
Theresa smiled weakly. "Ethan, you were such a huge part of my life. From the time I was a little girl, I heard stories about you; dreamed about you. Just because things didn't turn out well for us doesn't mean that I don't still want our happiness. That's all I ever wanted."
"That's all I ever wanted for you, too, Theresa. That's why it's difficult for me to see you still hurting over Chuck. I want you to be with someone who can make you happy...someone who can give you the life you deserve."
"I'm trying to move on. I really am. In fact, I-I've met someone."
"You have?" Ethan asked, shock registering on his features. He knew he should be pleased, but her words hit him like a ton of bricks. Whether he should care or not, he still did.
"Yes. I'm not entirely sure how to describe him, and I don't know if it will go anywhere, but he's unlike any man I've ever known. He has this...," she searched for the right words, "devil may care exterior, but on the inside there's so much more to him. I don't even know how to say it."
Ethan crossed his arms. "Wait a minute. Is this the man from Brazen; the one that Chad was telling me about?"
"It is," Theresa confirmed. "But before you start telling me that I'm making a mistake, consider the source of your information. Chad was only trying to get a reaction out of you."
"Which he did."
"Yes, he certainly did. I-I know it's hard for us to figure out our boundaries with one another. Having Chad trying to push us together doesn't make matters any easier."
Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but Joy came running toward them. "Ethan, come push us on the swings. Please!"
"Joy, I'm sure Mr. Crane has important business to take care of and needs to be on his way," Theresa said gently.
Ethan looked down at Joy's big brown eyes and smiling face. He couldn't resist her. "It's alright, Theresa. There's nothing quite like swinging, remember?"
Ethan thought back to the afternoon he and Theresa had spent at Hidden Hollow, descending from the hill on the swing that wafted over the water, coming perilously close to the river. Her laughter had been infectious that day. Actually, it always was back then. If only she could find the laughter within her again.
Theresa looked at Ethan quizzically. His words were cryptic, and Theresa watched in silence as Joy took Ethan's hand and led him to the swings. Drawing her knees to her chest, Theresa saw Ethan push the girls in their swings. Each was pleading to be pushed faster and higher. She saw him say something to the girls, but she couldn't make out his words. Yet whatever it was tickled them because both started to laugh.
Ethan was so wonderful with children. It made Theresa wonder why he and Gwen hadn't started a family of their own. She remembered the time they had spoken of having families, and she knew that Ethan wanted children because he spoke with such vehemence that his children would have a different upbringing than the one he had.
Gwen. The very thought of Ethan's wife filled Theresa with distaste. She'd never thought ill of her before the incident at the Country Club. For Gwen to throw Chuck's death in her face that way...
No, Theresa thought, shaking her head. I can't let myself be overcome with these negative feelings. Still, it was difficult.
Drew had been so wonderful to her that day. Yet his mood had changed so drastically. Why was he afraid for her to get a glimpse of the person he was inside, rather than the facade he portrayed to everyone else? Theresa wasn't sure what was going to happen with Drew, but she knew her life would never be ordinary with him around.
It perplexed her, however, that Drew would even want to bother with her. She carried so many complications with her; so much baggage... a failed almost-relationship with Ethan, a poor reputation among some of Harmony's elite, not to mention the feelings she still had for her late fiancé. Why, indeed?
A few minutes later, Ethan returned with both girls in tow.
"Tia Theresa, Uncle Ethan is going to make us crowns. We're going to be princesses!" Hope exclaimed.
"Uncle Ethan?" Theresa asked looking at him.
He shrugged. "It's the first I've heard of it." He knelt down, picking up late-blooming dandelions. Fashioning them together, Ethan placed a crown of flowers on each girl's head within minutes.
Theresa laughed at the sight. "Oh, don't the two of you look marvelous? Simply marvelous!"
The girls smiled in appreciation and ran off to the sandbox, eager to get to work on building a castle. After all, a princess had to have a castle.
"All we need now is one for their beautiful aunt," Ethan said, putting the finishing touches on a third crown. Sitting next to Theresa, he gently brushed away a stray strand of hair that had fallen in her face, and crowned her. "Perfect," he whispered.
Theresa felt a tremor pass through her as she looked in Ethan's blue eyes. Her heart started to pound as she tried to force her gaze away. She couldn't do it. Stop it! her mind screamed.
Shakily, she smiled. "Thank you, Ethan. When I was younger, I always wanted to be a princess." And I always thought you would be my prince.
"It suits you," Ethan replied, still very close to her. "Do you remember the time we went to the ballet?"
"How could I ever forget? It was one of the happiest nights of my entire life. I'd never seen anything as beautiful as Cinderella."
Ethan glanced away, images of that evening filling his mind. When he saw Theresa descend the staircase in his house with her white gown on, his breath was taken away. Her eyes sparkled, and when she laughed, he knew it came from her heart. He'd never seen anyone so beautiful his entire life.
Going to the ballet had always been tedious up to that point. It was merely something expected of the Crane Family. Yet being able to see it through Theresa's eyes had opened up a completely new world to him.
He looked back at her. "You looked like a princess that night. Perhaps Cinderella herself."
Theresa swallowed hard, a look of sadness crossing her features. "I don't believe in fairy tales anymore. I've grown up. I always depended on the idea of a prince on a white horse rescuing me from my ordinary life. Not anymore. I've learned to depend on myself. I am the only one who can make things happen for myself."
"Well, you sound positively practical."
Something in the way Ethan said 'practical' made Theresa cringe. Was that disappointment in his voice?
"I'm not a dreamer anymore. I can't afford to be."
Ethan leaned forward, passion flaring in his voice. "Aren't you the one who always told me that life is one big possibility? That I should see not only what is, but what could be?"
"That was a long time ago."
"But possibilities are timeless, Theresa."
Theresa chewed on her lip nervously. Suddenly, she saw Sam Bennett. An escape.
Waving to him, she caught his attention.
"Theresa, is that you?" Sam asked, genuine cheer and surprise crossing his features. What were she and Ethan doing together?
"Chief Bennett!" Theresa exclaimed, standing.
"I'd heard you were in town. Luis has spoken of little else. It's so good to see you!" he said embracing her.
"You, too," Theresa replied.
Sam looked to the side and saw Ethan's features harden. "Ethan."
"Chief Bennett." The voice was crisp.
Theresa could not help but note the coldness between the two men-Ethan and his father.
"Luis tells me that you're in Harmony to stay," Sam said evenly, returning his attention to Theresa.
"Yes. I'm getting ready to open my boutique."
"Best of luck with that. It just doesn't seem possible, though. It seems like it was only yesterday when you, Noah, and Whitney were running through the sprinklers in the backyard."
Theresa piped up when she heard the name of her old friend. "And how is Noah? I haven't spoken to him in ages!"
Sam's face lit up. "He's great. He's at Stanford, finishing his last year of medical school. He's still the same Noah, though. Always thinking of others. I tell you; a man couldn't ask for a better son."
Ethan stood. "Tell me, Chief Bennett, have you had the opportunity to look over the budget proposal I sent to your office?"
Theresa looked at Ethan and noticed an expression on his face she'd only seen once before...the time when he severed all ties with her.
Sam sighed. "Yes, Ethan, I have. Frankly, I don't think it's going to work. You and the other county commissioners need to understand that we need more manpower to do an adequate job. That means more funds."
"Perhaps if the police department were run with more efficiency, this wouldn't be an issue." His tone was haughty, challenging.
"You try walking a day in my shoes and see if you still feel that way," Sam replied, his tone becoming defensive.
"The tax dollars that the Crane family provides enable your two-bit operation to continue. I wouldn't be biting the hand that feeds you, as it were."
Theresa watched in wonder as the verbal sparring continued.
"You Cranes think you own everyone," Sam said in disgust. "When are you going to realize that everything isn't about you?"
Theresa interrupted hoping to defuse the situation. "Chief Bennett, please tell Mrs. Bennett that I said hi. Oh, and that I am dying to find out her recipe for tomato soup cake."
"I'll do it," Sam replied. "Theresa, it was nice to see you again. Ethan."
With that, Sam was on his way. Once he was out of earshot, Theresa turned to Ethan. He was obviously tense, as evidenced by his clenched fists.
"What was all of that about?" Theresa asked.
"What do you mean?" Ethan responded.
"The way you just spoke to him as if you thought you were somehow above him. Do I even know you, Ethan?"
"Well, what about the way he and everyone else act toward my family?"
"He's your family, too," Theresa replied, her voice barely a whisper.
Ethan shook his head. "Don't ever say that again!"
Theresa sighed. "I can't pretend to understand everything you've gone through, but Sam Bennett is a good man. If he knew you were his son..."
Ethan spat out, "It's not an issue! He will never know. Besides, he's not missing out on anything. He has his perfect family and a son who is everything he's ever wanted. Why spoil it for him?"
Ethan turned away from her, but she reached out and touched his arm. "Please, Ethan. Look at me." He sighed before turning back around.
"Why did you never tell? That night when we were at the cabin, I was so sure you would! You never felt close to Julian, and I know you were curious about Sam."
"Julian Crane is the only father I've ever known. For better or for worse, he is my father. Besides, do you have any idea of what he and Grandfather are capable of? They would destroy my mother! I can't risk that."
"Right. And your decision to not speak up has nothing to do with your own pride or fears," Theresa said, sarcasm creeping into her voice.
"Theresa, it was my decision not yours."
"Well, Ethan, I guess there were a lot of things that I wish you would've owned up to."
"The same goes for you," Ethan replied quietly. When he considered what he had found out about Theresa and her manipulations, he felt foolish for even wanting to believe in her anymore. The evidence that he discovered those years ago...
"This is getting us nowhere. There are simply issues that we aren't going to resolve," Theresa said wearily.
"Perhaps you're right," Ethan replied. "I should be going. Please tell the girls bye for me."
Theresa watched him go and felt defeated. Being around him was just too complicated!
She looked toward the sandbox and could see that the girls were still embroiled in their imaginary world of princes, castles, and dragons.
Looking up at the sky, she noticed how the clouds were particularly fluffy that day; almost like cotton begging to be picked. Among those clouds, she was almost certain she'd seen Cinderella's slipper.
No. Snap out of it!
She felt the crown she wore begin to slide and she reached up to catch it. She was about to straighten it and leave it on when she thought better of it.
"No more fairy tales," she promised herself removing the fragile crown of flowers.
